As I Do Thee/Issues 1-10

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Issues 1-10 · Issues 11-21

Issue 1

front cover of issue #1, Gayle F. -- "Tender and playful, tempered passion. I do miss the colours though. Even if I hadn‘t seen a [Gayle F] drawing in all its colorful beauty before, I could recognize the vibrancy in a black and white one, but those unique colors bring it so much more alive." [1]

As I Do Thee 1 was published in 1984 and contains 178 pages. Front cover by Gayle F.

complete table of contents issue #1, click image
complete table of contents issue #1, click image
  • Thoughts by Patt (inside front cover, see below)
  • After So Long by Alayne Gelfand (poem) (4)
  • And Our Tomorrows by Cynthia Drake (art by Barbara Gordon) (After Sarpedion, Kirk confronts Spock over his desire to stay in the past, only returning to save McCoy.) (5)
  • Seaside Rendezvous—An Interlude by Sharon F (Kirk and McCoy sneak Spock out of the hospital when McCoy tells Kirk that the shoreleave they had all planned would help Spock more than staying in the hospital away from his lover. An exploration of McCoy's reactions to the sexual relationship of his two best friends.) (18)
  • Infinite Barriers by Renda Vick (poem) (art by Ann M. Crouch) (30)
  • Love Instructor by A.T. Bush (Young Jim Kirk is sent to a academy for sexual instructions.) (31)
  • Locus by Alayne Gelfand (poem) (42)
  • This One's for You by Tere Ann Roderick (art by Virginia Lee Smith) (Shows a whole Spock who fully accepts both sides of his heritage - human and Vulcan. Another summary: Admiral Kirk gets a summons to Vulcan from its Ambassador, only to be confronted by Spock who left him four years earlier.) (44)
  • Royal Flush by Ann M. Crouch (art by Virginia Lee Smith) (poem) (64)
  • Corundrum by Gene S. Delapenia (art by Stefanie Hawks) (poem) (66)
  • Secrets by Jo Scott-Ross (A seventeen-year old Spock is picked up by a space trader and taken under his wing. Sequel: When I Was Seventeen.) (67)
  • Haven by J. March Fox (poem) (74)
  • Control by Wendy Rathbone (art by Ann M. Crouch) (Non-K/S story) (75)
  • Just The Right Thing by Alayne Gelfand (art by by Caro Hedge) (poem) (86)
  • Coming To Terms by Devery Helm (Another story of McCoy's awkwardness in accepting the Kirk/Spock relationship and in finding his place in the relationship. Kirk and Spock have invited McCoy on a leave to try to resolve the conflict, hoping their time together will help McCoy get over his feelings of being left out since learning of Kirk and Spock's bonding.) (87)
  • The Edge Of Certainty (online here) by Alayne Gelfand (art by Merle Decker) (This is an a/u post episode story. It takes place in a universe where Spock did not regain his sight after OPERATION ANNIHILATE. Spock has not recovered his sight after Deneva. We share McCoy's guilt and his efforts to use new methods to restore the Vulcan's sight.) [2] (92)
  • At Meditation by Gene S. Delapenia (art by Caro Hedge) (poem) (118)
  • A Small Piece of The Action by S. Meek (After Ionia, Spock questions his lover's unorthodox agreement with the natives after noticing the film Kirk had been watching before they visited the planet.) (119)
  • Favors by Lenore D. Williams (art by Bonnie Reitz) After Genesis, Kirk is unable to accept Spock's death and McCoy sheds light on why that might be.) (124)
  • I-Witness by J. March Fox (art by Eric) 128 (Kirk is afraid he has lost Spock's friendship and any chance for more after Omicron Ceti Three.)
  • Possession by Patt (art by Caro Hedge) (poem) (134)
  • From the Dark into the Light by Vivian Gates (art by Paula Mathai), winner of a 1985 K/Star Award (135)
  • I'll See You in My Dreams by Tere Ann Roderick (art by Maureen B.) (A/U: After leaving the Genesis planet, Kirk is informed by Sarek that Spock is still alive, and while taking the Ambassador there discovers he is linked to Spock. Sequel: Now It Begins. The editor writes in As I Do Thee #2 "I'd like to apologize for the fact that the sequel to Tere Ann Roderick's "I'll See You In My Dreams" does not appear in AIDT #2. To the best of my knowledge, it will appear in T'HY'LA 5. There's no reason for this other than the author chose to submit it to T'HY'LA. I'm sorry for the inconvenience to those of you who were looking forward to reading the sequel here.") (156)
  • An Instigation to Relate by Patt (art by Caro Hedge) (167)
  • Pas Fini by Leslie Fish (art by Barbara Gordon) (poem) (178)

Patt's Poem

Patt's poem appears on the inside cover and somewhat drolly invites the reader to join her in her admiration of the zine they both have just purchased.

Thoughts by Patt

Yesterday I got my new fanzine.
The cover was indecently keen.
In black and white, portrayed by Gayle F [3]
Outlined was my heart's desire.
The content page was a delightful dish
With a lovely poem by Leslie Fish.
The other poems were not much cleana,
Some of them by Gene Delapenia.
Barbara Gordon had some illos
Of Kirk and Spock without their clothes.
Wendy Rathbone was new to me
But she writes decadently.
Decker sketches, though not explicit,
You caught her meaning, couldn't miss it.
Ann C.'s drawings were nice and neat,
Her Kirk with Spock was quite a treat.
Then a tale that kept me awake
Written and typed by Cynthia Drake.
Of all the things I've ever seen,
The most beautiful was that new fanzine.

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

See reactions and reviews for From the Dark into the Light.
See reactions and reviews for Love Instructor.
See reactions and reviews for Control.
See reactions and reviews for Secrets.
See reactions and reviews for Seaside Rendezvous.
See reactions and reviews for This One's for You.
See reactions and reviews for I'll See You in My Dreams.
See reactions and reviews for An Instigation to Relate.
[zine]: When I read in AS I DO THEE #10 that it could very well be the last issue of the zine, I reflected on the history of AIDT. We might all want to take a moment to remember how it began - from that first extraordinary issue. 'The Edge of Certainty" by AIDT's talented editor is one of several stories in this zine that I find notable. This is an a/u post episode story. It takes place In a universe where Spock did not regain his sight after OPERATION ANNIHILATE. What impressed me about the story was its realism. I found it far more realistic in its portrayal of blindness and its psychological impact than NIGHTVISIONS. The story also shows that it's possible to maximize dramatic impact by being realistic. Two other stories deserve special mention for their unusual theme. "Love Instructor" by A.T. Bush and "Secrets" by Jo Scott-Ross both deal with the extremely controversial issue of teenage sexuality. It took courage to write them, and an equal amount of courage to publish them especially since the position they take in favor of sexual self-determination for adolescents can be misinterpreted. Some readers would complain that these aren't really K/S stories. They both deal primarily with one of our heroes. This is a type of story that was prevalent in the zine, OUT OF BOUNDS. Frankly, I have always liked the unusual aspects that OUT OF BOUNDS stories tended to explore and I am glad to find that kind of tale In AIDT. These stories by AT. Bush and Jo-Scott Ross are both well wrttten; but of the two, it is 'Love Instructor' that is the most imaginative. It boldly goes where no one has dared to go before. To my knowledge, no one has ever written about adolescents being taught sexual techniques by 'love instructors'. It's positively audacious. "Love Instructor" also has a mystical twist at the end that I definitely appreciated. "From The Dark Into Light" by Vivian Gates is obviously a well-written story. It received a K/Star Award. I would never have given it such an award since, although I found it pleasant and entertaining, I also thought it very predictable. When I started reading it, I knew I was looking at a dressed-up formula story. In such a case, I pay attention to how cleverly the writer has dressed up the formula, but it's difficult to admire such wrapping if it gets thrown away too soon. "From The Dark Into Light" has an interesting opening, but from there on in, we are faced with nothing but the usual first time sequence. It seems a waste to spend so much narrative time on what we already know so well, and spend so little on something as intriguing as a relationship between two Klingon warriors. Yet I imagine most readers would not find this story as disappointing as I did. Tere Ann Roderick contributed two stories. The better one is her alternate post-TWOK tale, 'Til See You In My Dreams". This, along with the other alternate post TWOK material I have ready by her in T'HY'LA 5 represent the best work I have seen by Tere. She took the time to develop her story concepts here, so that the story's believable on its own terms. 'This One's For You" is much less successful. Tere is trying to show a whole Spock who fully accepts both sides of his heritage - human and Vulcan. Writers who do this are walking a tightrope. It is a difficult feat to pull off convincingly. Unfortunately, Tere's Spock in 'This One's For You" is too human. He abandons too much of his Vulcan identity to be considered an integrated Spock. I also thought there was too much dialogue in the story. It is certainly the weakest in the zine. Nevertheless, I never judge a zine by its weakest material, but only by its best - and the best of AIDT #1 is very good indeed. We spend so much money on zines nowadays, only to find very little of quality between the covers. Better to invest in a sure-fire zine with several stand-out stories like AIDT #1. So if you missed it, don't put off ordering it any longer. You will probably enjoy it as much as I did.[4]
[zine]: Whether or not you enjoy this zine depends primarily on whether you believe that for a story to be K/S, it must necessarily include vivid descriptions of sexual activity between our two heroes plus or minus A.N.Other and partly on how many K/S zines you have read already for it does to a certain extent cover old ground. It seems that many K/S zines at the moment contain the same authors, writing stories which, while not identical, are thinly disguised variations on the same theme. Many of these authors e.g. A.T. Bush and Devery Helm are talented writers but are they, perhaps, guilty of producing a little too much? Could they do better? I suspect they could and that, I think, is what saddens me regarding this zine. Not that AS I DO THEE is without - none of the stories contain rape/sadism/violence, thank the Lord, and it has obviously been conceived in a loving spirit. I think, however, that the proofreader (and believe me I know what a ghastly job it is) could do with a new dictionary. The truly outstanding contribution - and it would have stood out in any zine - is "From The Dark Into The Light" by Vivian Gates. This author always portrays her characters as equals, thoroughly masculine and mature and here we have no exception, her best to date. Every word that the two men utter in this story - a first timer - is totally believable; they converse obliquely round some subjects in a form of short hand that two people who are very close to each other might use and neither of them utters the long diatribes that would sound patently ridiculous in Shatner's or Nimoy's mouth and this matters, to me at least. I have to believe in the characters, otherwise the names could be interchangeable with any other "/" couple that could be dreamed up and that is not what I read Trek for. Like Carol Frisbie, I believe the genuine magic to lie between Kirk and Spock. A case in point is "This One's For You" by Tere Ann Roderick. This is an intense story set, I think, four years after the end of the five year mission. Kirk is now an Admiral, still harbouring bitterness over what he sees as Spock's earlier desertion of him. They come face to face at a meeting engineered by Spock. I enjoyed this story in parts but it was spoilt for me by Spock's totally uncharacteristic behavior and patterns of speech, in particular his swearing, and Kirk's equally loud and invective filled replies. As far as I remember, when Kirk is really upset he goes very quiet and my overall impression was that with the names and a few details changed, this story would fit any "/" pairing. The rest of the stories are as follows: Two Post-TWOK stories: "Favors" by Lenore Williams owes a lot to the TWOK script, quoting the cabin and reactor room scenes extensively with the author's interpretations interspersed. "I'll See You in My Dreams" by Tere Ann Roderick is not yet finished so is a little difficult to judge in its present state. It involves Saavik a little too much for my taste but I freely admit to being biased if not bigoted about that. Two Shore Leave Type stories: "Seaside Rendezvous - An Interlude" by Sharon F. explores McCoy's reactions to his two friends'...activities while Spock is on sick leave. Well, it provides an opportunity for the author to describe a fair amount of sexual goings on, but I'm not sure I learnt a lot about the relationship either between Kirk and Spock or between them and McCoy. Nor did Sharon follow up on the idea that Spock might be broadcasting a form of 'we're at it again' call signal because of his unbonded state. "Control" by Wendy Rathbone ultimately ends up as a shore leave in a shuttle craft. We are cursorily introduced to one Devon Quinn who is just as cursorily killed off. Both Kirk and Spock are in love (of a sort) with her, but they turn to each other (on Devon's recommendation) after her death. Before they are totally settled and after Kirk's first rather abortive kiss, Spock utters the immortal line: "I like you Captain, I really do. But I do not love you." Put that in Nimoy's mouth and chew on it! The problem, I suspect, is that the author~did not care too much for poor Devon and while I can sympathize with that (I have an aversion to women in my K/S) unfortunately she is rather obviously sacrificed to the exigencies of the plot and I can't help remembering Evanna from PRECESSIONAL who actually enhanced the relationship between Vulcan and human. Two Spock/Kirk and A.N.Other stories: "Secrets" by Jo Scott Ross suggests that Spock may actually have run away from home rather than, as is more widely accepted, entered Starfleet Academy. In this story he is picked up in a bar by a rough diamond, Thomas O'Shannessy, and rather quickly ends up in bed with him. The only clue we are given as to why Spock has developed a penchant for falling into bed with men is that he was 'persuaded' to do so by the Captain of another freighter. The idea of these being Spock's beginnings is original and both Spock and Thomas are rather engaging. All the same, with only seven pages and the obligatory sex scene, I feel as though I've been sold short. The scope for investigating the psychology of Spock's relationship with his parents that led to all this, and even his own thoughts on his situation would have been enormous and I think with a little more work the author could have produced a really meaty and memorable story. A.T. Bush has departed from her usual style to chronicle a pubescent Kirk's exploits with his many Love Instructors (a concept first mooted by Gene Roddenberry in ST:TMP). I appreciate what she was aiming at and the descriptions were certainly erotic, but for me it wasn't K/S even if there was a little thrown in at the end. The editor's contribution is "Edge of Uncertainty" a "what if Spock didn't recover his sight after Deneva" story. A lot of interaction is between Spock and McCoy but when Kirk appears on the scene, the comparison must be with "Nightvisions". The difference here is that, with the first confessions of love, the two men make impassioned speeches to each other whereas in "Nightvisions" touch and silence or at most a few scant words speak for them. I find the latter to have more impact. I think, as with a couple of other stories in this zine, the decision to bond is somewhat precipitous. Cynthia Drake's story "And Our Tomorrows" is post Sarpeidon. Her Kirk still tends on the bossy side, but Spock at least is less subjugated than her normal portrayal of him, so that I find her characters more easy to relate to this time - I realize she is a very popular writer and this is my personal quibble. Unfortunately, my out standing memory of this story is Barbara P. Gordon's illo on page 7. My first reaction was to burst out laughing - I mean to say, would Kirk really be that gross? Compare this with the beautiful illo on page 14 and it's hard to believe the two came from the same pen. But back to the story: essentially the step back to his past has shown Spock what he really wants - Kirk - and vice versa. Enter the sexual encounter. Well written, certainly, but apparently the sole aim of the story. "I-Witness" is a post Leila story by Joy March Fox and here again, things progress far too precipitously for me. Difficult to say whether you, the readers, will enjoy this zine; it depends on what you want out of K/S. If it's eroticism, this is for you; if it's exploration of the long term problems of such a relationship, it's not. If you have definite views on the characters of Kirk and Spock, you may find some of the portrayals hard to take. However, the Vivian Gates' story might, alone, make it worth the price.[5]
[zine]: This is a worthy effort by a new editor, tastefully and beautifully put together, with an especially lovely Gayle F cover, and a very attractive layout. However. (There always seems to be a however, doesn't there...) Despite the fairly consistently high quality of the stories, there were what seemed to me to be an inordinate number of typos. In fact, the consistency of some of them leads me to believe that Ms. Gelfand needs a typist—or a proofreader—that can spell better. The presence of several handwritten passages in a couple of the stories was quite jarring and left me with the feeling that an unfinished draft had been sent to the printer. The artwork was the usual mixture of lovely to mediocre, in the usual proportion—although Maureen B's' illo of Spock and McCoy is an outstanding piece of work. So much for the nuts and bolts. The zine contains more than a dozen stories—among the best of them are AND OUR TOMORROWS —vintage Cynthia Drake; SEASIDE RENDEZVOUS—AN INTERLUDE, by Sharon F -- there are some delightful moments in this, one of my favorites; FROM THE DARK INTO THE LIGHT, by Vivian Gates; I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS by Tere Ann Roderick, a cliffhanging sequel to ST:TWOK, evidently to be continued in AIDT II. Well, it worked; I'm hooked. I HAVE to read the end of that one.... The poetry is...not great, but adequate. The closing spot was rightly given to Leslie Fish's moving poem, PAS FINI. That one got to me. Taken all together, this new zine is much more plus than minus—but please, Ms. Gelfand-—get a proofreader that can spell! [6]
[zine]: This new K/S zine is 178 pages reduced print, contains a variety of stories and artwork, with a Gayle F cover, and is very well produced, with the exception of too-frequent typos. The editor's goal was to present a positive loving relationship, with no murder, slavery, torture, death, etc., a goal which I applaud. It contains a number of good stories. Cynthia Drake's "And Our Tomorrows" follows the episode in which Spock had tried to remain on Sarpeidon with Zarabeth, and Kirk's reaction. "Love Instructor" by A.T. Bush, recounts all of Kirk's instruction in the varied arts of lovemaking. "Coming to Terms" is a good serious story by a favorite author in K/S: Devery Helm. I've read lots of her stories, but only three serious ones, and of those, I think this is the best. It deals with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, and how all three come to terms with a new K/S relationship its effect on their friendships. There are two stories which begin after Wrath of Khan. A longish one by Tere Roderick is good, but is "to be continued," which is a pet peeve of mine in zine stories. "From the Dark Into the Light" is an interesting story by Vivian Gates. In it, Kirk and Spock are captured by aliens, and during their captivity, they can hear two Klingon warriors making love. Returned to their normal life, what they heard has its effect on each of them, and their resolution of the situation makes for an enjoyable story. There are a number of other stories, and poetry, as well. The final poem is one by Leslie Fish. All in all, I found this zine to be a "good read," and I recommend it.[7]

Issue 2

front cover of issue #2, artwork by Merle Decker
back cover of #2, artwork by Pendragon

As I Do Thee 2 was published in 1984 and contains 160 pages. Front cover by Merle Decker. Back cover by Pendragon. Other art is by Gayle F, Virginia Lee Smih, Caren Parnes, Paula Mathai, Pendragon, Merle Decker, Alayne, Maureen B, and Caro Hedge.

From the editorial: about content:
"AS I DO THEE #2 is a K/S zine stressing a positive, loving relationship. No undue violence, torture, slavery, mayhem or death." That's what the fliers and ads for this zine say. Well...within these pages, you will find both a slavery story and a story involving rape. That does not mean that the editorial policy of this zine has changed. What it does mean is that the keyword in the description of AIDT is undue "The Reward" by Debi is a sequel to "The Prize" by Ray Newton from THE PRICE AND THE PRIZE. The slavery is a bit beside the point and is not of the type I find so objectionable and which caused me to stress "no slavery" in the description of this zine. "The Land of Tears" by Debbie Parsons deals with rape... the healing rather than the infliction. In this sense, it is something I never thought could exist; a 'positive rape story'.
From the editorial: about feedback:
LOC's: Letters are very welcome. But (there's always one of those, ain't there?) please keep those letters reporting the location of each and every typo to yourselves. And I don't expect everyone to agree with every idea presented within these pages. I don't want to hear that Kirk and Spock bonded too quickly; that they didn't think long enough about it; that they didn't suffer enough for them to bond; that Vulcan's don't bond; that someone stole an idea from someone else; that there's too much explicit sex; that there's not enough explicit sex; that the art isn't right for the story; that McCoy's too much a part of the story for it to be K/S (I've already explained my stand on that); that Shatner wouldn't say that; that Nimoy would say this. If you have something nice or truly helpful to say (even if that may be of a negative nature), please do write to me. And I thank those of you who wrote about AIDT #1 with helpful, positive, encouraging ideas.
  • Portrait of a Tired Head by Wendy Rathbone (inside front cover)
  • Second Chance by Toni Cardinal-Price (McCoy reflects on the price Kirk has paid to retrieve his bondmate's body and return Spock to Vulcan for the fal tor pan. We join McCoy and Kirk in the sickbay of the Bird of Prey as they watch over Spock. It is easy to feel the depth of their friendship and their love for Spock.) (4)
  • Back There! by Robin Hood (7)
  • Tempted by Wendy Rathbone, art by Virginia Lee Smith (9)
  • The Land of Tears by Debbie Parsons (Spock finally rescues Kirk after his bondmate has been held in prison for three months on a planet at war, and finds that he had been beaten and sexually abused. "You must realize, Commander Spock, that no one but the eight of us who were there can truly comprehend what it was like... or what we are feeling now. Everyday we lived only for the hope of tomorrow. Such shame. Such humiliation. How quickly civilized men can revert to barbarians. How easily we lose our pride." "He lost his pride?" "Oh, he held on to it longer than the rest of us. He tried to hang on to ours, too, but some things even Jim Kirk could not do.") (10)
  • The Changeling 2 -- Kirk by Cynthia Drake (25)
  • On the Way to Gol by Alayne Gelfand, art by Caren Parnes (27)
  • Anniversary Waltz by Tere Ann Roderick (28) (All of Kirk and Spock's friends and relatives are there for their 25th anniversary.) (28)
  • I Like... by Patt, art by Pendragon (36)
  • Reunion/The Nobelest Part by Cheryl Resnick (37)
  • The Stars Far Away by Faris Vincent (Non-K/S story, it is the end of the five year mission. McCoy, about to leave for Georgia, has come to Kirk to try to heal the rift that developed when Kirk accepted the ground assignment. Kirk needs to know that McCoy will not desert him as he feels Spock has done.) (38)
  • Persistence by Patt, art by Virginia Lee Smith (47)
  • Upon a Star by Alayne Gelfand (48)
  • The Rumor by Natasha Solten - Art: by Paula Mathai (When they are summoned to Nogura's office, Kirk and Spock are shocked to hear that Starfleet, and most everyone else, thinks they are lovers. "Nogura cocked his head to one side. "You two are rather unusual men. The specific question here is the consequences of splitting you two up. Though none of this is from official sources, the rumors have been flying around Starfleet since before the end of your five-year mission. It is known, or I should say, assumed unofficially, that the two of you have a relationship - as lovers - and more." Blood rushed to Kirk's face. Spock's eyes darted to meet his. They stared shocked horror at each other.") (49)
  • Shining by Robin Hood (60)
  • Greater Than the Sum of the Parts by Alled Navesih (61)
  • From the Fields by Dovya Blacque - Art: by Merle Decker (Spock declares his love for his captain while under the spore's influence and then leaves the Enterprise, even though Kirk has admitted to feeling the same way. "James Kirk ran a weary hand through his damp hair. He didn't care that the entire hellish chain of events were about to replay in his mind... that it wouldn't change a single thing, that he'd still be trapped here on Earth and Spock would still be in self-induced isolation on Vulcan... nothing else was real...") (64)
  • Silence by Alayne Gelfand, art by Alayne (92)
  • Enjoyment by Patt, art by Pendragon (93)
  • Wild Fantasy by Wendy Rathbone, art by Caren Parnes (95)
  • Control of Destiny by Toni Cardinal-Price (McCoy tries to explain to Spock how both he and Kirk deal with their feelings for each other when, after a fight, Spock believes that Kirk wishes to leave him. Spock's anger and fear over Kirk's reckless behavior disturbs him to the point where he is considering leaving the ship. It is McCoy's council that helps the Vulcan understand his feelings.) (also in Twin Destiny #2) (96)
  • Noticing the Wind by Wendy Rathbone (100)
  • Reborn by B.L. Barr, art by Alayne (101)
  • Sea-Lure by Natasha Solten, art by Gayle F (103)
  • The Reward by Debi - Art: by Maureen B. (A Sequel to THE PRIZE by Ray Newton) A/U: Injured while rescuing a caravan, Kirk is saved by McCoy, the slave given to Spock by the grateful caravan owner. Prequel: The Prize. "The human was hit in the chest and fell from his mount. One of the warriors dismounted hurriedly to get to his fallen companion. "He'll bleed to death in a few minutes." The doctor dropped to the ground beside them. "I think I can prevent that if you let me." The wounded man groaned. "Spock?" "I am here, Jim. This man says he is a healer and can help you, and by all the gods, he'd better.")
  • Tears of Freedom by Robin Hood (Under the control of the Dolman's tears, Kirk finds an antidote when he and Spock declare their love for one another.)
  • When I Was Seventeen by Jo Scott-Ross (Spock ends up in jail for an offense from his youth. Prequel: Secrets. Sequel: Starlight on Shadows.) (124)
  • Shore Leave Lover by Wendy Rathbone (121)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

See reactions and reviews for Second Chance.
See reactions and reviews for Anniversary Waltz.
See reactions and reviews for The Rumor.
See reactions and reviews for The Land of Tears.
See reactions and reviews for When I Was Seventeen.
See reactions and reviews for From the Fields.
See reactions and reviews for The Reward.
See reactions and reviews for Tears of Freedom.
[zine]: With over 160 pages filled with excellent stories, poetry and art, this K/S adult fanzine has everything in it fans of this genre could want. "Second Change" by Toni Cardinal-Price is a touching short piece depicting the scene from Trek 3 where McCoy is with Spock's unconsious body in the Klingon ship's Sickbay. Kirk enters and the mental triange is completed. This caring scene shows how real friendship strengthens Kirk and McCoy during a very dreary time of their life. I would call this a friendship story -- not K/S. "The Land Of Tears" by Debbie Parsons is a well-written emotional story beginning with the rescue of Kirk from Zeta where he and seven Federation citizens have been held prisoner and tortured by Zetan rebels for 92 days. The story tells, through a series of flash-backs, what happened on Zeta. It details with care and dignity the healing of Kirk, and Spock' s gentle~ understanding and support of him through it all. Very well-written and moving. "On The Way to Gol" by Alayne Gelfand. This poem captures the essence of Spock at Gol in superb imagery and beautiful word juxtapostion. One of the best poems in the zine! "Anniversary Waltz" by Tere Ann Roderick shows Kirk and Spock· at their 25th anniversary party. All the old ENTERPRISE crew members attend, aged but still breathing, and Kirk and Spock get to remember a few choice, good times. A good ideal but a little too saccharine. "The Stars Far Away" by Faris Vincent. After the end of the five-year mission and Spock has gone to Gol, Kirk and McCoy enjoy one last, memory-filled evening of drinking. Both eventually become so depressed from the drink and talk they end up staying together for the night in mutual comfort, solace and need. Beautifully told, this story never strays from believable characterization. "The Rumor" by Natasha Solten. The two friends, Kirk and Spock, have never encountered the rumor that they are lovers until confronted with it by Adm. Nogura who believes it and wishes to consult them about promotions and future job placement. Since Starfleet has a policy not to separate couples, K and S can virtually choose where they would like to serve together. Shocked at the assumption, the two are forced to face the rumor, which gives them ideas they've never thought of before. Wonderful idea, wonderfully executed. "From The Fields" by Dovya Blacque. Spock has left the ENTERPRISE and gone to Vulcan leaving no explanation. James Kirk is in San Francisco on 'temporary leave' because of stress. How the two eventually come back together after a painful separation which forces them to really see their feelings for each other is a truly enlightening and moving story. Well-written and my favorite in the zine, this story is a must read for K/S fans. "Wild Fantasy" by Wendy Rathbone. This poem, from McCoy's point of view, speculates on the rumor about Kirk and Spock. McCoy's southern charm and wit make this poem a pleasure to read. "The Control of Destiny" by Toni Cardinal-Price. A personal conversation between McCoy and Spock reveals Spock' s fears, concern and anger over the impulsiveness of his Captain and t'hy'la. This touching discussion between two friends is an excellent slice of life in the daily routine of the ENTERPRISE crew."Tears Of Freedom" by Robin Hood is a sequel to "Elaan of Troyius" where Kirk discovers that the tears of a Vulcan can be more potent than the tears of a Troyan woman. It's well-written little story with a beautiful ending. "When I Was Seventeen" by Jo Scott-Ross details another adventure with 17 year-old Spock and Thomas O' Shannessy. Well-written, this story even has a moral at the end. Not K/S, but definitely adult. "The Reward" by Debi is a sequel to "The Prize" which appeared in "The Price and The Prize". From McCoy's point of view, this story tells of his capture on an alien planet! Vulcan, and his run-in with a Vulcan master and his human slave (none other than Kirk and Spock). It is tastefully written with an intriguing plot and a minimum of violence. It IS an interesting exploration of the characters in an alternate setting. This zine has nothing objectionable in it (unless you object to K/S) and every story is well-written and well-edited. The art is comprised of the works of Merle Decker, Gayle F., Caren Parnes and many others and all of it beautifully enhances the stories and poetry. This zine is worth its price and I highly recommend it.[8]
[zine]: I will have to abridge many of my comments because there is jut too much to say. This is a wonderful zine. It is pretty to look at, easy to read, and has some very nice artwork. The stories, some of which are long and very involved, are mature and positive. "Land of Tears," by Debbie Parsons, may not, on the face of it, appear to be 'positive', since it involves Kirk's capture and rape. However, the real emphasis is on Kirk's struggle out of his depression, pain, and self-loathing; a struggle that Spock greatly aids. I do not like rape stories, but this one, painful as it was, was much more than that. "Anniversary Waltz," by T.A. Broderick, is a warm, thoroughly wonderful, loving story about the 20th (or so) anniversary of Kirk and Spock's bonding. It is done with perfect flashbacks that give a true sense of time passed. The expression of their long-term love is very touching. You will get a deep, cozy sense of love from this one. You may be suprised at your reaction to the almost-K/McC "The Stars Far Away," by F. Vincent. I began reading it with real reservations but was suprised to find that it seemed plausible, it is not a long-term relationship, just a very touching, tender interlude. It took a lot of courage to do this story, given the rather rigid K/S atmosphere in which we find ourselves. Starfleet brass call Kirk and Spock in to discuss the truth of "The Rumor". They think that if the two men are bonded, then they should be housed together and that certain changes should be made to insure the smooth running of the ship. This mature, thoughtful story by N. Solten examines how a rumor opens the truth to two men. I really enjoyed "From the Fields," by D. Blacque. Spock leaves the ship after he decides that he and Kirk cannot deal with their/his feelings. Once Spock is gone, Kirk begins to think it over, and McCoy and Amanda, who know that the two men belong together, set about bringing them together without their knowing it. This story has some poignant, touching scenes. "Second Chance," by Toni Cardinal-Price, is only a few pages but is a lot of story. Spock, unconscious and on his way to Vulcan for the katra ritual; Kirk, exhausted from his battles and in pain; McCoy, worried over both—a touching moment between friends. Toni's stories are always moving. The clever humor of "When I Was Seventeen," by Jo Scott-Ross, offsets some of the more emotionally sobering stories. A 17-year-old Spock shares life with a rascal of a human. A great writer uses wonderful images to show us a very endearing Spock. You'll want to know why Spock and his friends have to escape the authorities. "The Reward," by Debi, is a great adventure story set in an AU where our Vulcan is a warrior, it is impressively done—starts out with a bang and just gets better. McCoy is trapped on Vulcan, captured by one tribe, then 'rescued' by another. Eventually he is brought to Sarek's household as a slave/doctor, on a world where doctors are rare. While McCoy is respected for his skills, he has to learn fast that he is still just a piece of property. Debi does a wonderful job of fleshing out this story. McCoy's characterization is excellent, and you will enjoy meeting some of Spock's relatives, especially the kind, sensuous aunt who takes McCoy as a lover. This story has mystery, adventure, and sensuality, as well as humor. There are other great stories and many wonderful, well-done poems in this zine. The art is all very, very nice. Take special note of Mathai's nice illo of K&S hugging by Mathai and the cover and some interior art by Merle Decker. Parnes, [Gayle F], Virginia Lee Smith, Hedge, and Pendragon are also represented. The editor always takes pains to put nice graphics on the pages. Many will say, yes, but story content is the main thing. Here, you have it all—a nice balance of poetry, art, humor, adventure, and emotion. I can't wait for AS I DO THEE III.[9]
[zine]: The editor's introduction to this zine admittedly roused my ire. I had purchased the zine in large part because the ads stressed "no undue violence, torture, slavery, mayhem..." The introduction notes that the zine was touted in this way, but the editor goes on to say that she did include a slavery story because it was "not of the type I find so objectionable" and because the "slavery is a bit beside the point". I'm not sure how slavery can ever be beside the point, but I'll let that rest. It is an editor's right to decide whether or not she wishes to have an editorial policy; I have no objection either way. But I do feel strongly that when an editor does have a stated policy, she should stick to it. It is really unfair (and misleading) to the reader to do otherwise. She goes on to say that LoC's are welcome but that she doesn't wish to hear about typos or that the art isn't right for the story or that the characters would not say some particular thing or that Kirk or Spock aren't present in the story or that the idea was stolen, etc. This long list of unwelcome criticisms includes virtually everything which could conceivably be wrong with a story. All of the above apply, to a greater or lesser extent, to stories contained in this zine. There are many typos, spelling and grammatical errors. Some are of the kind that make the reader laugh at an inopportune point & break the mood of the story. A poem, written from Spock's point of view, states "I need ...sumation" (sic) and, further on, "I have dealt with words all my life". If this is the case, Spock is in a lot of trouble! A momentary check with the dictionary would have revealed no such word as "sumation" and, perhaps, suggested 'consummation' as the wanted word. The high point of the zine was a 28 page story, From the Fields by Dovya Blacque. On Omicron Ceti 3, under the influence of the spores, Spock confesses his love to Kirk - who is too taken aback to respond with anything but shock. After regaining his ship & crew (in a manner consistent with the aired episode), he thinks things over & decides he does return Spock's feelings. In the interim Spock has determined to return to Vulcan & by the time Kirk confronts him he cannot be dissuaded. They unhappily go their separate ways but, thanks to meddling by Amanda & McCoy, all is happily resolved. There are 3 lovely Merle Decker illos (she also contributed the handsome cover illo). Anniversary Waltz by Tere Roderick (8 pages) contained a nice idea; Spock & Kirk, bondmates for many years, get together with all the old crew for a 25th anniversary celebration. Interspersed with Kirk's loving reminiscences, this was sentimental & enjoyable. In The Stars Far Away (8 pages) by Faris Vincent, Kirk & McCoy meet at the end of 5 year mission, Spock having departed for Gol. Both are rather morose & the story ends with their comforting each other by going to bed together. Nicely written but those who want their K/S stories to feature Kirk & Spock together, be warned it won't. '"I enjoyed The Rumor by Natasha Solten (11 pages), which also takes place at the the first mission. Nogura, believing the rumor that Kirk & Spock are lovers, notes that this will allow them to be posted together. Although the rumor is untrue Kirk & Spock keep this to themselves & take advantage of the opportunity to serve together. The 2 are led to re-evaluate their relationship &, by the end of the story, have made the rumor true. When I Was Seventeen by Jo Scott-Ross (11 pages) concerns Spock's relationship, as a 17 year old runaway, with a rather reprehensible (but likable) human named Thomas O'Shannessy. The young Spock portrayed here is engaging & believable. His misadventures with Thomas, aboard the LocoMotion, are eminently enjoyable & cast an amusing light on the grown-up Spock (Kirk's bondmate) who briefly appears at the end of the story where he is about to explain to Kirk (I wish I could hear this one) why he is a 'wanted man' on Sigma IV. Again, those who want their K/S to focus primarily on the relationship between Kirk & Spock may be disappointed. To go on to the long (37 pages) slavery story by Debi -- it is the kind I find objectionable & and it is this type of story which makes me tend to avoid the whole genre. The story is a sequel to The Prize & and I can't comment on its relationship to that story, which I admit I haven't read. In this story, McCoy is captured and taken to Vulcan as a slave. There he meets Kirk (who is already Spock's slave) & is made part of Spock's entourage after he saves Kirk's life. This Kirk is tame & obsequious, a sort of pet poodle although we are told that he is a 'fighting' slave as well as a 'bed slave.' Nothing indicates that he anything but content to serve Spock, who is a 'good master.' At one point he says to Spock, "You have broken my spirit and made me love you." The underlying point of the story seems to be that it is desirable to trade one's freedom for love. I find this idea, like the concept of the 'good master,' repellent -- & never more so than when it is projected onto the proud, freedom-loving Kirk. Those who don't enjoy seeing Kirk groveling contentedly will squirm throughout this story -- I sure did! Of the 24 poem, I particularly enjoyed 'On the Way to Gol' by Alayne Gelfand (with a fine Caren Parnes illo) and 'The Changeling 2' by Cynthia Drake.[10]

Issue 3

front cover of issue #3, Caren Parnes. The composition of the piece is modeled on a scene from the episode "This Side of Paradise," but with Kirk in place of the female love interest.
back cover of issue #3, Vel Jaeger
table of contents issue #3, click image for larger version
table of contents issue #3, click image for larger version

As I Do Thee 3 was published in 1985 and contains 188 pages. Art: by Pendragon, Vel Jaeger, Merle Decker, Marilyn Cole, Maureen B, Caro Hedge.

The editor leaves her name off this issue and references The Great Australian Radio Show Fiasco: "Due to unwanted publicity "Down Under" (and elsewhere), this name is being withheld to protect the...uh...innocent?"

The editorial addresses the zine's content policy:
The editorial policy of AS I DO THEE is: no "undue" violence, slavery, torture, mayhem or death. This was, and remains, my starting point. I take each individual story on its own qualities and go from there. It would be rediculous and unfair to stick blindly to a policy with no room to stretch or make acception. I've found I haven't had to make many acceptions so far and, of course, am pleased that so many people can write good stories that are positive and loving.

In my last issue, the editorial stated that there were a few stories which might not, at first glance, appear to fit my editorial policy. I went on to explain that, in my judgement, they did, in fact, fit that policy. By the very definition of "editorial", everything contained between these covers is here by my decision, by my judgement. "Undue" is in the eye of the beholder; In this case, my eye. To me, something is "undue" in K/S if it repells me or doesn't fit into any concept I may have or may understand or accept as K/S. Of course my opinion isn't going to coincide with everyone else's. Of course there are people who will disagree with my judgements. One "reviewer" was very put out by the fact that I included several stories in AIDT #2 which did contain some violence, slavery and rape...even after I'd explained that I found these aspects acceptable within the context put forth in these particular stories. I found them acceptable. Obviously, the "reviewer" did not, nor did she understand that the slavery took place in an alternate universe for, by her own admission, she hadn't read the story's prequel. She then spent half her "review" telling the reader how I'd not stood up to my own editorial policy. I believe I did, and have, remained true to my policy and myself. I won't apologize to that "reviewer" or anyone else for the decisions I have made concerning AIDT #1, #2 or #3. I feel I've produced a fine zine and will stand behind all my editorial decisions.

I also stated in the editorial of AIDT #2 that I didn't care to receive letters locating each and every typo or telling me how this person or that person should have written her story. Perhaps I should have been clearer. I am anxious to hear creative critisism. Comments about how a story "should have been written" help no one. Comments concerning the stories that exist, in the context in which they exist, are very welcome and will be passed on to the author/poet/artist.
  • The Prodigal Vulcan by Liz Clark (p. 5-23) - Art by Marilyn Cole
  • Seasons, poem by Alexis Fegan Black (24)
  • Before the Dawn, by Natasha Solten (25)
  • Before the Dawn by Natasha Solten (p. 25-26)
  • In Paradise/In Paradise by Vivian Gates (p. 27-42) (Ensign Kirk is stranded while on a survival course and is found by Spock, a cadet also stranded 5 years earlier. "Spock, too, had been top of his class at Starfleet Academy. He, too, had been sent on the survival mission... he, too, had had a malfunctioning capsule... no one had arrived to pick him up at the end of two weeks. Two weeks was the specified length of a survival course. Spock had been alone for five years...")
  • Teamwork, poem by Natasha Solten (42)
  • Home from the Sea, poem by Faris Vincent (43)
  • Dreams, poem by Rachel Abbot (44)
  • Many a Tear Has to Fall by Robin Hood (p. 45-52) (After Spock cries for V'Ger, Kirk decides he wants an answer as to why Spock left to begin with.)
  • Antinous, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (52)
  • What We Have Written by Tere Ann Roderick (p. 53-60) - Art by Marilyn Cole (When Spock returns from a mission after V'Ger, Kirk writes him a letter, trying to regain his friendship without revealing his deeper feelings.)
  • Home, poem by Patt (60)
  • Untitled, poem by Rachel Abbot (61)
  • Sheet Music, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (62)
  • A Kirk by Any Other Name by Carol A. Pierce (p. 63-91) - Art by Marilyn Cole (Kirk and a crewman are beamed up and a female copy is created of both, causing problems when Spock is attracted to the female Kirk. "Kirk stepped off the transporter platform... he shuddered when his eyes locked onto the expressions of the two men... there was nothing wrong with him... he turned around. Adams was standing speechless. Beside him stood a female... a female James T. Kirk!")
  • Aftermath, poem by Dovya Blacque (93)
  • Hard Silence, poem by Natasha Solten (94)
  • All Forms of Love by Natasha Solten (p. 95-103) (While sunbathing on a beach during shore leave, Kirk confesses his love to Spock. "You're looking at me that way again, Spock," Kirk accused. Spock dropped his gaze and heard Kirk take a deep breath. "It's all right. I think you look good, too... it's normal to look, Spock. Even compare with yourself." "I was not comparing you with anyone." "I was just 'logically and scientifically curious' as to what you were thinking," Kirk said. Quietly, Spock replied, "I do not know.")
  • Blind, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (104)
  • Echoes by Dovya Blacque (p. 105-124) - Art by Merle Decker (After the Fal Tor Pan, Kirk fears for both his friends and for his future with Spock. "The days had been long, more like weeks, since the Fal Tor Pan... the nights had been longer. Kirk felt useless, which drove his mind into self-doubts and rounds of guilt. Sarek seemed to share his misgivings; neither could find much confidence in the reassurances of the healers...") (Kirk, McCoy and Spock are on Vulcan following the Fal Tor Pan. They are trying to recover from the experience and re-establish some type of relationship. McCoy is experiencing the lingering effects of Spock's presence in his mind and it appears that Spock and McCoy are going to be inseparable for some time to come and Spock begins to realize that he and McCoy are very much alike.)
  • Against the Stars, poem by Faris Vincent (125)
  • Night-Fall, poem by Dovya Blacque (126)
  • Late, poem by Patt (128)
  • A Caring Hand by Jenny Starr (p. 128-154) (McCoy and Spock accompany Kirk to Iowa where he runs into Ruth, who, unaware that Kirk is bonded to Spock, tries to make a play for him.)
  • Tender Harvest, poem by Jenny Starr (154)
  • Gambit, poem by Dovya Blacque (155)
  • Haunts, poem by Robin Hood (157)
  • Fire, poem by Kathy Resch (158)
  • Draw an Angel Down, poem by Robin Heart (161)
  • Of Private Dreams by Joann Marek (p. 162-166) (Spock and Kirk have admitted their love for each other to themselves, but not to each other. Separately they seek out McCoy far his guidance.)
  • Study in Dust, poem by Natasha Solten (167)
  • In the Nick of Time by Faille (p. 169-187) (A/U: Kirk and his crew return to Earth after Spock's Fal Tor Pan to face charges from Star Fleet.)
  • Not Passion's Slave, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (186)
  • No Time, poem by Patt (187)
  • Stormbound, poem by Dovya Blacque (inside back cover)


Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

[zine]: From the first nicely decorated editorial page to the last startling and dramatically presented poem on the inside back cover, AIDT#3 is an enjoyable zine. From its inception, AIDT has progressed by leaps and bounds, not to say that the beginnings were too shabby - certainly not. AIDT had always been a very presentable zine. But in the words of mundanality, it's come a long way. The editor has learned more about picking stories, layout, and has added her own touch of individualized story borders that mark the zine as hers. From the first story by an author that I'm not familiar with (Liz Clark), to the last by Faille, there is a good range of ideas and talents displayed within the 189 non-reduced pages.

The story by Tere Ann Roderick, complimented by Marilyn Cole's strikingly different interpretations, was one of Ms. Roderick's best. Soft and caring with the writing showing the time taken to complete an idea rather than just leave it as a taste in our mouths. The vignette by Robin Hood — MANY A TEAR HAS TO FALL — a post Star Trek I story, shows us the true meaning of Spock's joyful crying. While done quickly, it leaves a warm sense of the feelings that certainly must rest between our two heroes. A very interesting look at the Kirk farm is Jenny Starr's story, A CARING HAND. A complete long story, but a trifle mushy for my taste. If you're in the mood for a warm fire and a soft read, you'll love it. Jenny is, if nothing else, one of the most accomplished writers in fandom. The last story, IN THE NICK OF TIME, by Faille, is explicit enough for all. A post STIII plot, it shows the bonded pair reuniting, Kirk's wait ended. A warmth exudes while the words steam. A delightful dichotomy and and an excellent end for a very diverse zine. The poetry. For those who aren't aficionados of poems, they are excellent. The editor, being one of the best poets in fandom, chooses well, and presents with a flare. What else can you ask for?

The art, with the exception of the less than inspirint back cover, is well chosen. The Merle Decker work, although very recognizable, is good, and appropriate while the Marilyn Cole is gentle and polished as benefits a zine that wishes to produce no undue violence, rape or mayhem. The surprises in the art are Caro Hedge & Shellie Whild. Both did graphics for poetry, story borders and such, adding that extra touch that polishes off a zine and leaves a nice taste in the reader's mind. In fact that is the main feeling left when I closed the covers: Satisfaction. True, nothing incredible to make you call your best friend at 3 in the morning, but something to recommend when she asks you what zine she should buy next. This is a must for K/Sers, though I'm certain most of you already have it. If so, then get it out and re-read it. It's well worth the time. [11]
See reactions and reviews for In the Nick of Time.
See reactions and reviews for Before the Dawn.
See reactions and reviews for Of Private Dreams.
See reactions and reviews for A Caring Hand.
See reactions and reviews for Echoes.
See reactions and reviews for All Forms of Love.
See reactions and reviews for In Paradise.
See reactions and reviews for The Prodigal Vulcan.
See reactions and reviews for A Kirk by Any Other Name.
See reactions and reviews for Many a Tear Has to Fall.
See reactions and reviews for What We Have Written.

Issue 4

front cover issue #4, Gayle F.
back cover of issue #4, Vel Jaeger

As I Do Thee 4 was published in 1986 and contains 222 pages. It has art by Maureen B., Marilyn Cole, Chiya, Merle Decker, Caro Hedge, Vel Jaeger, Pendragon and Gayle F.

From the editorial:
With this issue of AIDT, we see the last installment (I think) of the Thomas O'Shaunnessey saga; some varied post-TSFS view points; quite a bit of ST:TMP poetry; several alternate perceptions of Vulcans and their customs; some cold times; some (very) hot times; a little something for everyone. I have tried to choose the contents of this zine with ray guidelines in mind (no undue violence, etc, etc..) but have not stuck to them as though they were carved in stone. I think this is a very positive, loving zine...and I hope you think so as well. At this point in time (mid-March), AIDT #5 is slated to be a novel by Dovya Blacque due, hopefully, this August. AIDT #6 will follow a few months after in the usual form and I'd be happy to see submissions for U6 beginning immediately. As Dovya has been working on this novel for the past A years (on and off), there's no guarantee that she'll finish it (and she doesn't mind me telling you sol), but she (and I) feel that a deadline will force her to finish it, so we'll keep our fingers crossed. If for some reason the novel can't (or won't) be finished by August, I'll go ahead with #5 in the usual way so you might want to start submitting yesterday....
  • Duel by Kathy Resch (poem) (4)
  • Outside of Time by Robin Hood (Amanda talks Kirk into going to Spock and confessing has love for him after the fal tor pan.) (5)
  • A Worthy Choice by Joann Marek (Sarek thinks about Spock's choice of Admiral Kirk as his bondmate and of earlier meetings he had with Kirk.) (23)
  • Apologia, poem by Shellie Whild (37)
  • Silent Pose, art by Natasha Solten (38)
  • Rebirth, poem by Theresa Hernandez (40)
  • Binary, poem by Jenny Starr (40)
  • Inward Looking Out, poem by Robin Hood (40)
  • Frozen Stiff by Marie Surah (A mission on the glacier of a cold planet becomes dangerous as Kirk, Spock and McCoy are trapped in a crevasse. It is a time of danger, shared memories and affection as they uait for rescue.) (41)
  • Where the Ice Breaks by Faris Vincent (Kirk has just learned of McCoy's approaching death. He seeks out Spock while trying to imagine life without McCoy or what life would be if it were Spock who were dying.) (57)
  • Rain, poem by Faris Vincent (58)
  • Ally by Ray Newton (M/U: Kirk and Spock journey to Vulcan to be bonded but Sarek, pretending to approve, has Kirk abducted and imprisoned in order to facilitate his death. "In the harsh world of the Empire, trust and loyalty are early casualties. Love dies new-born, for it demands faith in another; and who, being unable to give such, will expect to receive? Sometimes, there are those who sense the hunger for the prize... of those who hunger, perhaps one will hazard all... or two...") (59)
  • Speechless in Shadows, poem by Natasha Solten (83)
  • Lullabye #1 and #2, poem by Dovya Blacque (84)
  • Grey Bay, poem by Robin Hood (85)
  • Beds, poem by Jenny Starr (86)
  • Runner, poem by Kathy Resch (88)
  • When Tradition Fades by Faris Vincent (While visiting Vulcan for Spock's clan meeting, Kirk meets a cousin of Spockʼs who helps him realize what his and Spock's true relationship is. Prequel: Yes. "Jim, I've been looking for you." "I've been outside with your cousin." An eyebrow rose. "Really? Which one?" "Jasch." "And did you find him interesting?" "Very. He told me to talk to you, tell you what we spoke of. He wants to meet me again, speak to me about something." "That is Jasch; charming, fair, honest, humorous, and nearly always in trouble.") (89)
  • T'hy'la Eclipsed, poem by Cyrni Asher (109)
  • Letter #?/Waiting, poem by Andrea Arat (110)
  • Starlight on Shadows by Jo Scott-Ross (Spock is contacted by a friend from his past who wishes to meet with him and Kirk. Prequel: When I Was Seventeen. "Kirk haphazardly pushed the empty glasses aside and seated himself at the table. Spock remained standing. "Jim, this table is a mess." "That's typical. Sit down." "Haven't changed one damn bit." The new voice caused Spock to turn abruptly. Kirk looked up, eyes narrowed. "Thomas...," Spock said quietly.") (111)
  • Endymion by Tere Ann Roderick (Spock comtemplates Jim's beauty as he watches his lover sleep.)
  • Phantom, poem by Robin Hood (142)
  • A Creature in the Night, poem by Faris Vincent (143)
  • Darkness Before the Dawn, poem by Theresa Hernandez (144)
  • Late-Night Grumbles, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (146)
  • Little Sorrows (Parts 1 & 2) by Dovya Blacque (147) (After a close friend dies, Kirk starts having sleeping problems and Spock discovers that there was a mental link between the two men. To keep Kirk alive, Spock replaces the broken link in Kirk's mind with one from his own. "He's asleep!" McCoy pressured the hypo into Kirk's carotid artery. "What is it?" Kirk rubbed sleep from his eyes. Spock's too-quiet voice answer his question. "It is now 11:37, Captain." "What?" "You... uh... overslept, Jim," McCoy offered. "Overslept? I don't oversleep.") (141)
  • Endings and Beginnings by Carol A. Pierce (190)
  • Chess, poem by Patt (190)
  • Prince of Dreams/Fantasy, poem by Natasha Solten (192)
  • The Light of a New Way, poem by Dovya Blacque (193)
  • For J.T.K., poem by Cyrni Asher (194)
  • Watcher, poem by Dovya Blacquw (195)
  • Under the Twin Moons by Angel C. Soie (While visiting a new colony, Kirk is thrown from a moving vehicle, and combining his longing for Spock with the American Indian colonists, Kirk dreams of himself and Spock as Indian warrior lovers.) (196)
  • Shower Fantasies, poem by Natasha Solten
  • Provocation, poem by Patt
  • Now, poem by Patt
  • Contrasts, poem by Gene S. Delapenia
  • Exchanged, poem by Robin Hood
  • A Private Little War, poem by Andrea Arat (inside back cover)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

See reactions and reviews for Endings and Beginnings.
See reactions and reviews for Little Sorrows.
See reactions and reviews for Starlight on Shadows.
[art by Marilyn Cole on page 39]: I can't get enough of this gorgeous, half-naked, wistful-eyed Kirk. He's there to illustrate a poem of Natasha Sotten's, Silent Pose" „ He is posed to dress/yet frozen/caught in some memory/lost to years, and the silence/of his thoughts/..." And Marilyn Cole has caught that look exactly. Kirk is seated, a sheet casual thrown over his naked lower body, shoulders slightly lumped, his whole posture and features expressing loneliness and longing. Yet, at the same time, the lovingly detailed muscular chest and arms give him a look of strong-willed strength and, need I say it, sexiness, Especially since the sheet doesn't so much conceal as draw attention to a certain part of his lover body... (After all, concealment is what sexiness is all about, no?) [12]
[zine]: Each AIDT gets better and better, and the first is not bad. This zine is 223 pages, filled with the usual collection of interesting choices and extremely well put together. Time and effort is employed from the beautiful cover by [Gayle F] clear through to the interesting Kirk on the back cover by Jaeger. The Editor has stamped her zine with care. Even the borders are a statement, done by the editor herself, they are refreshing and a change from what sometimes seems to be the same book half of all editors use for graphics. The stories also show her editorial policy: No undue violence or mayhem allowed. The first story -- 'Outside of Time" is one of Ms. Hood's best. A sensitive investigation into Kirk's feelings taken from the end of the third movie. It also gives interesting insights into Amanda's character as well, Very well written, it give us a believable Kirk and a commanding Spock. No whimps here. A must! A tiny story by Faris Vincent, 'Where The Ice Breaks' is written in the 'I' from, which I happen to love if it's well done. This vingette is wonderful! Strong and sentimental at the same time. 'When Tradition Fades' by Faris Vincent, gives an insight to a very untraditional relative of Spock's who, of course, manages to bring the two friends together. It's fun to see more of Vulcan. There are several very nice stories within the body of the zine, C. Pierce and Maria Surah to name two but "Little Sorrows', a very long story, is the culmination to a very entertaining zine. The story by Dovya Blacque, punctuated with Ms. Decker's art, is a different story in this day and age of reused story lines. Extremely well written, it's explicit enough for anyone and yet written with the gentle caring that Ms. Blacque usually shows us. The poetry is quite good, well above average. It's not surprising because the Editor is an excellent poet herself but it is refreshing to read Tere Roderick, Robin Hood, Patt and others work that is so nicely done and very effective in making you 'feel'. There's nothing worse than reading a poem and yawning. Not so here. Very few yawns. The art too, is getting better and better. Borders by Shellie Whild and Caro Hedge, nicely highlight each poem and Jackie Zoost is steadily improving in her efforts as well. AIDT 4 is well worth the price to have a good read and feel that all involved loved KIS in the tradition that we look for.[13]

Issue 5

front cover of issue #5, Marilyn Cole, "The Strength Behind Arthur"
back cover of issue #5, Ann Mara Crouch

As I Do Thee 5 was published in 1986 and contains 215 pages. Artwork by Marilyn Cole, Caro Hedge, Chris Soto, Jacquelyn Zoost, Maureen B., Alayne, Shellie Whild, Ann Mara Crouch, and Gayle F.

From the editorial:
As you can see, AIDT US is not a novel by Dovya Blacque. Dovya didn't get off her ass to write her novel this summer. I kept her too busy going to conventions with me. We'll see what winter will do for her -- and will keep all available appendages crossed!

What AIDT is is a nice combination of different types of stories, quite a few of which present an unusual or different interpretation of Spock. I didn't solicit 'strange Spock' stories, they just found their way here...and I'm glad they did. I hope you find this issue as pleasing as I do. And, as usual, I'm interested in hearing your opinions of the contents of the zine.

As I've traveled around the country to various conventions, I've found a strange occurrence. There are people out there, mostly pro-dealers, who are trying to sell MKASHEF Enterprises publications, as well as other presses work, at outrageous prices. I'm talking $30.00 for AIDT #4...which, like all of my publications, is still in print. #4 sells, from me, for $17.00. I do not condone these people doing this nor is it done with my approval or foreknowledge. The only authorized dealer of my publications (other than individuals selling their own copies, etc.) is DATAZINE. I don't like seeing anyone cheated, so be aware that there are individuals out there trying to pull the proverbial wool over your eyes.
  • Editorial, art by Caro Hedge (3)
  • Fear of Falling by Natasha Solten, art by Caro Hedge (4)
  • Twix't Night and 'Morrow by Robin Hood, art by Chris Soto (A long talk and a soak in a hot spring together after the events in STAR TREK III reveal more to Kirk and Spock about themselves and each other than either could ever have suspected.) (5)
  • Cities by Natasha Solten (17)
  • Stalemate by Faris Vincent, art by Caro Hedge (18)
  • Time Passage by Charla Menke (Kirk, presumed dead in a battle with an alien vessel, suddenly finds himself 13 years in the future where he encounters a much changed Spock and a fiery red-head who is a catalyst in putting Time and History to rights once more.) (19)
  • Coming to His Senses by Marie Surah (A bump on the head switches realities on Spock. Is it only his imagination telling him that he and Kirk are lovers? Or is it true?) (39)
  • Jade by Pam Smith, art by Shellie Whild (59)
  • A Motionless Army by Natasha Solten, art by Jacquelyn Zoost (61)
  • Cruising by Tere Ann Roderick, art by Caro Hedge (62)
  • The Air is the Air the last-ever written story by Vivian Gates (re-printed by permission) (also printed in Alien Brothers). The story also appeared as a separate "hand out" with an issue of "Act Five" when it was first published. (63)
  • Firewatch by Natasha Solten, art by Caro Hedge
  • Compensation by Dovya Blacque, art by Maureen B. (The sequel that Vivian Gates invited someone to write at the end of her story "The Air Is The Air." Having convinced himself that he has come to terms with the newly discovered facts about Spock, Kirk sets out to enjoy his shore leave... only to run into Spock and his companion. The unexpected results lead Kirk to rethink his decision regarding his first officer.) (77)
  • A Few Too Many by A.L. Hughes, art by Alayne (Spurred on by McCoy's drunken inquiries into the private lives of Vulcans, the captain and first officer of the ENTERPRISE spend a long evening together, probing and discovering many new aspects about each other... and themselves.) (117)
  • Awakening by Natasha Solten (126)
  • Burning Blue by Dovya Blacque, art by Caro Hedge (127)
  • Shadow Land by Pam Smith, art by Shellie Whild (129)
  • Here and Gone by Faris Vincent, art by Caro Hedge (130)
  • The Thought That Counts by Jenny Starr (131) (Spock is unsure of what to get Kirk, his lover of two weeks, for his birthday until he overhears Kirk tell McCoy that he wished Spock would take the dominate role in their lovemaking.)
  • War-Fire by Tere Ann Roderick (151)
  • Sky Hunter by Lisa Joas, art by Shellie Whild (153)
  • The Tails of Comets by Dovya Blacque, art by Jacquelyn Zoost (155)
  • Cold by Faris Vincent/Warmth by Faris Vincent, art by Caro Hedge (156)
  • Setting the Magic Free by Roberta, art by Alayne (After V'ger, after reconciliation, after settling back into the routine on the ENTERPRISE, the question of why Spock left the ship—and his captain—still remains. Spock's answer, Kirk's discoveries and revelations, and McCoy's interventions prove to one and all that the more things change, the more they remain the same.) (157)
  • A Sudden Freedom by Roberta (214)
  • Reflections of a Prophet by Tere Ann Roderick, art by Caro Hedge (215)
  • Contest (art by Gayle F) (218)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5

See reactions and reviews for The Air is the Air.
See reactions and reviews for Compensation.
See reactions and reviews for Setting the Magic Free.
See reactions and reviews for Time Passage.
See reactions and reviews for Twix't Night and 'Morrow.
See reactions and reviews for The Thought That Counts.
[zine]: Once again, AS I DO THEE is an entertaining read and a wonderful zine to look at and appreciate. Though the art work is fairly sparse, what is here is mostly very good, beginning with the marvelous Marilyn Cole cover and finishing with a scrumptious Gayle F which is the subject of the AIDT writing contest, results of which should be printed in AIDT #6. The outstanding feature in this issue is the long-awaited sequel to Vivian Gates' story "The Air Is The Air" written by Dovya Blacque. The sequel, titled "Compensation", takes up where the original story left off, with Kirk facing a very difficult-to-accept discovery about Spock and a resultant decision that is equally as difficult. Ms. Blacque does a simply wonderful job of writing the characters originally written by Ms. Gates. The continuity is excellent, the plot is plausible as well as highly entertaining. Also, Ms. Blacque has written one of the best original characters I've read in a K/S story in a very long time. For those readers who never read "The Air Is The Air", it is reprinted, in its original, unedited form just before "Compensation". "Twix't Night And 'Morrow" by Robin Hood is a nice little moment between Kirk and Spock after the events on Mt. Seleya. This story made me feel like I was peeking through a key hole, had there been a key hole in the story to peek through!, which is not necessarily a bad thing. An entertaining piece. "Time Passage" by Charla Menke is more what I would consider a 'relationship' story rather than strictly K/S. We're presented with time-travel, altered universes, altered Spock, and a difficult decision for both Kirk and Spock. Good read from a new writer. "Coming To His Senses" by Marie Surah is a light-hearted story which poses the interesting question: What is reality and what is illusion...or rather, what is true and what is the result of Spock hitting his head in a fall from a Jefferies Tube. Very cute story if a bit on the silly side. "A Few Too Many" by A.L. Hughes is another brief moment between Kirk and Spock, in this case, aided by a bit of alcoholic lubrication. This has some very amusing moments. "The Thought That Counts" by Jenny Starr gives us a newly together Kirk and Spock, a Spock who is faced with, giving his lover a birthday gift. With his usual flair, he finds an answer, one that is warm and fun and gives us a very good love scene. This is not the newest plot, but it's the best I've seen it done. "Setting The Magic Free" by Roberta is a very long story, but well worth reading all 59 pages. I'm not sure what to say about the plot, there doesn't really seem to be one to speak of other than the ins and outs of Kirk and Spock getting together.. .with a little help from their friends. I liked this story, once I got past some of the more saccharin moments. As I said, it's worth reading. There is, as usual in AIDT, a plethora of poetry. I'm really not much of a poetry reader, myself, but I did like "Fear Of Falling" and "Cities" by Natasha Solten, "A Quiet Corner In Hell" by Meg Fine, and "Sky Hunter" by Lisa Joas quite a bit. I've already mentioned the best art, Marilyn Cole's cover and the Gayle F at the back of the zine, but also well represented are Chris Soto (notably on page 5) and Alayne, who's work I've never seen before, on pages 120 and 160. All in all, this is a wonderful zine. I highly recommend this issue, you're guaranteed a good read.[14]

Issue 6

front cover of issue #6 by Southern Cross. This art, described by one reviewer as "strikingly disturbing", is similar to a piece by the same artist published three years earlier in Nome #7, see that page.
title page of issue #6

As I Do Thee 6 was published in 1987 and contains 172 pages. It includes contest winners. It has art by Ann M. Crouch, Shellie Whild, Caro Hedge, Gayle F, Chiya, and Jacquelyn Zoost.

  • Notes on Burning by Natasha Solten, p. 5-15 (While Spock fights the early stages of Pon Farr, a small pocket recorder quietly takes in all his thoughts, his frustrations, his fears, his dreams...)
  • The Source by Natasha Solten, p. 15
  • Take the Haunt, Eidolon by DeAnn Winter, p. 16
  • Walk the Battlements, Revenaut by DeAnn Winter, p. 17
  • The Phoenix by Sue Cameron, p. 18
  • Nolo Contendere by Addison Reed, p. 19-21 (As Kirk and Spock take their leave of Sarek in the UFP Council chamber, Leonard McCoy has a chat with Gillian Taylor about the facts of living in the 23rd century...)
  • Evocation by Shellie Whild, p. 21
  • Night Thoughts by D.A. Martin, p. 22
  • The Bridesmaid by Roberta, p. 23-32 (Overhearing a conversation she wasn't meant to, Christine Chapel learns a secret she wonders if she can live with...)
  • First Move by Bonita Kale, p. 32
  • Contest Winners, art by Gayle F p. 33 (writers were asked to interpret an illo by Gayle F)
  • Rites by Jenny Starr (first place contest winner), p. 34-77 (After he and Spock become lovers, Kirk accompanies him to Vulcan to celebrate the kaswan of Spock's young cousin who wishes to be a starship captain and does not what the bond his parents have set up.)
  • Denial by Bonita Kale, p. 77
  • March Hare by Tere Ann Roderick, p. 78
  • Aftermath of the Intruder by Marie Surah (second place contest winner) p. 79-124 (An epidemic is raging as the Enterprise reaches the Benecia colony with Janice Lester adding problems for Kirk who is suffering after effects from the transference and entering a new relationship with Spock?)
  • Spock's Promise by Tere Ann Roderick, p. 124
  • Dreams of Sand by Sandee Maxwell, p. 125
  • Feathered Things by Faris Vincent, p. 127
  • Lovesick by Tere Ann Roderick, p. 128
  • So Close and Yet So Far by A. L. Hughes (third place contest winner), p. 129-143 (Stranded, holed up in a cave, Kirk suffering from fever due to injury, Spock finds his mind, his desires wandering in directions he had never before considered...)
  • Expressions by D.A. Martin, p. 144
  • Flying High by Karn Wills (honorable mention contest winner) p. 145-158 (Kirk and Spock join the "Mile High Club"!)
  • The Art Within by Ann Mara Crouch (honorable mention contest winner) p. 159-160 (Spock holds his secrets close and hidden...)
  • In Lonely Hours by Sandee Maxwell, p. 160
  • A Beach to Walk On by Mara-Lyn Cade (honorable mention contest winner) p. 161-168 (Drink may not be the answer to Kirk's problems, but it's certainly a conduit for his escalating emotions for his first officer... )
  • Short and Sweet by Roberta, p. 169-172 (honorable mention contest winner) (McCoy keeps having dreams of Kirk and Spock making love and finally realizes that they are using a meld while they make love and that he is picking it up while he sleeps.)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 6

See reactions and reviews for Aftermath of the Intruder.
See reactions and reviews for Rites.
See reactions and reviews for Flying High.
See reactions and reviews for The Bridesmaid.
See reactions and reviews for So Close and Yet So Far.
See reactions and reviews for The Artist Within.
See reactions and reviews for Nolo Contendere.
See reactions and reviews for Short and Sweet.
See reactions and reviews for A Beach to Walk On.
[zine]: As usual this issue of AIDT is loaded with fulfilling stories and above average poetry... But it was hard for me to get past the strikingly disturbing Southern Cross cover. Admittedly, after having read (and re-read) the accompanying poem - "Reunited" --by Faris Vincent on the inside front cover, I understood the cover drawing more and my view of it changed. Now, after having had the zine for several months, find it hard to believe that the cover ever bothered me. Now, I think it's without a doubt the most stunning AIDT covecover stock which gives the zine a different, sharper look. AIDT #6 is also the contest issue, the results being printed inside. The contest was for a drawing that had been printed at the back of AIDT #5 and the results are very good and very diverse considering the drawing is basically a 'Kirk and Spock on a beach' scene. The first place winner is RITES by Jenny Starr, a story that takes place on Vulcan and concerns the planet's lore and mysticism and reminded me not a little of Picnic At Hanging Rock", the Peter Weir film. This is a beautifully creafted, excellently written story. It's no surprise that it took first place. Second place was taken by Marie Surah with AFTERMATH OF THE INTRUDER. This story is so long that that editor printed it in smaller type than the rest of the zine, a slightly annoying fact, but one I easily found I could live with considering the story. This is a complicated plot that deals with Kirk's nightmares after Janice Lester. A day's leave from the ship, some expected discoveries between Kirk and Spock, and some last minute dramatics make for an engrossing, entertaining, loving story. SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR by A.L. Hughes wouldn't have been my choice for 3rd place, but it's still a nice little story. Stranded by circumstances that left me a bit bored, on a planet alone, Kirk and Spock have to deal with mysterious mineral properties in the native water that bring out the beast in both of them. The writing is standard, the story a bit re-hashed, but a nice, inoffensive read. My pick for 3rd place would have been the first 'honorable mention', FLYING HIGH by Karn Wills. This is an oddity in an issue of AIDT, a story with deliberate humor. I found the situation (Kirk and Spock addressing the sexual tension between them while aboard a commercial shuttle flight) perfectly amusing. This is a funny story without it being insulting to the characters as so often happens with humor in K/S. A good story, one that deserved a bit more attention from the judges of the contest. There are three more 'honorable mention' stories. THE ARTIST WITHIN by Ann Mara Crouch is only one page long, but is very heart-warming, very tender and very sad. It is also beautiful and very well done. It's not easy to evoke the emotions Ann did in only one page. A BEACH TO WALK ON by Mara-Lyn Cade deals with a Kirk who is haunted by nightmare/dreams that he and Spock are lovers. His answer to the situation is to go on shore leave and become so drunk that Spock has to come fetch him. The result is a nice comfort scene but hardly an earth-shattering story. SHORT AND SWEET by Roberta is very cute, involving McCoy in Kirk and Spock's lovemaking in that he's drawn to their as yet un-bonded minds that are broad casting loudly whenever they make love. This is indeed a 'short and sweet' story. The last three stories are not contest entrants. The most unusual piece in the zine is NOTES ON BURNING by Natasha Solten. From what I gathered my second reading of the story, we (the readers) are 'listening' to a tape recording of Spock's thoughts, frustrations, and accidentally recorded conversations during the onset of pon farr. This is a lovely piece, very experimental in style, very delicate in the handling of a touchy subject, and something pon farr stories rarely are, tender. Natasha also brings to this story the lyric quality of her poetry. I loved this story. NOLO CONTENDERE by Addison Reed is a sort of 'missing scene' from STAR TREK IV; McCoy explaining to Jillian the facts of life between Kirk and Spock in the 23rd Century. Since I was one of those people who saw no attraction between Kirk and Jillian in the film, I was somewhat bored with this story, but as is only two pages long, I easily survived it! BRIDESMAID by Roberta deals with an already bonded Kirk and Spock who accidentally let Christine Chapel learn of their relationship. I liked this story mainly because it gave us a Christine who is strong and mature, not the simpering idiot of the series. While this story is nothing particularly special, it's a nice read. As I said, there isn't much poetry to speak of, but what there is is very good. Aside from the beautiful cover, there is little art in this issue but it is far from a dull looking zine. Between the story borders by Chiya, the poetry borders by Ann Crouch and Caro Hedge and the art by Shellie Whild, Jacquelyn Zoost and Gayle F., this issue holds up next to any past issue. It is a slick looking zine, a wonderful read; as always, a highly recommended purchase.[15]

Issue 7

front cover of issue #7, Gayle F -- "The [Gayle F]cover looks like a 'just after' shot of the goings on in the contest illustration in AIDT #5. It's, as always, beautiful... even if horizontal covers tend to make me slightly crazy for some unknown reason." [16]
inside back cover of issue #7, Shellie Whild (the back cover itself is blank)

As I Do Thee 7 was published in 1987 and contains 170 pages. * Art: by Chris Kemmerling, Chris Soto, Shellie Whild, Jacquelyn Zoost, Gayle F., Dragon

  • Flight of Fancy, poem by Sue Cameron (4)
  • A Rare Storm by Dovya Blacque (On shoreleave together, Kirk makes known his contentment when he's with Spock, and his need to finally give himself to one person) (5)
  • Revolution, poem by Laura Thomas (25)
  • A Very Private Fire by D.A. Martin (Dissatisfied with the Ruth replicant, Kirk beams back to the ship and persuades Spock to go back with him to the planet, resolved to finally tell him how he feels about him.) (26)
  • Pathway to Pon Farr, poem by Sandee Maxwell (38)
  • That Makes the Man by Yvonne DeChine (After their run-in with V'Ger, Kirk finally decides to confess his feelings to Spock after he is hurt while on duty.) (39)
  • Bond-Brothers by K.L. Fidelius (Having turned to one another for many things after being stranded on a class M planet, Kirk and Spock discuss Vulcan legend... and Vulcan reality... ) (65)
  • Once and Again, poem by D.A. Martin (77)
  • Passion in the Touch of a Friend by Tere Ann Roderick (On a very cold planet, with Spock suddenly coming of age, the command team of the ENTERPRISE learns much more about one another than either had ever suspected...) (78)
  • Irony, poem by Sandee Maxwell (87)
  • To Face the Music by Greta Foulard (After the fal tor pan, Kirk wait for Spock to remember their relationship and love.) (88)
  • Some Dream, poem by D.A. Martin (94)
  • The Sweetest Sound by Roberta (Having beamed down to where Spock is heading a scientific landing party, Kirk finally asks the question that has been burning in his mind and heart for some time... then beams up before Spock can even form an answer...) (95)
  • Burden Not Our Remembrances by David Alexander (Staying in a house that belongs to a friend of Kirk's, Kirk struggles over Spock's lost memories of their love affair since the fal tor pan.) (107)
  • Future Haunts, poem by Anne Fitzgibbons (123)
  • Impasse by Addison Reed (Kirk and Spock are forced apart while a Starfleet investigation occurs dealing with ship relationships on the Enterprise.) (124)
  • The Valley of the Blue Sun by Robin Hood (On a planet with suddenly hostile inhabitants, Kirk and Spock find themselves fleeing further and further into the hostile terrain of the bitterly cold mountains... to the most impossibly beautiful valley amid the snow, a valley with inhabitants who have forgotten how to feel...) (139)
  • Dark Dreamer, poem by Sandee Maxwell (169)
  • Open Flight, poem by Robin Hood (170)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 7

See reactions and reviews for A Very Private Fire.
See reactions and reviews for Impasse.
See reactions and reviews for A Rare Storm.
See reactions and reviews for The Valley of the Blue Sun.
See reactions and reviews for The Sweetest Sound.
See reactions and reviews for That Makes the Man.
See reactions and reviews for Bond-Brothers.
See reactions and reviews for Passion in the Touch of a Friend.
See reactions and reviews for Burden Not Our Remembrances.
See reactions and reviews for To Face the Music.
First of all, though it may seem differently, I am not on the payroll of MKASHEF Enterprises! I just like this zine and have happened to review the past several issues.

AIDT #7 is a bit of a comedown from the past several AIDTs, but not really much of a disappointment.

The [Gayle F] cover looks like a 'just after' shot of the goings on in the contest illustration in AIDT #5. It's, as always, beautiful... even if horizontal covers tend to make me slightly crazy for some unknown reason. The inside back cover is also lovely. Shellie Whild is getting better by the day. The rest of the art is a nice selection of Jacquelyn Zoost, Sarah B. Leonard, Dragon and Chris Soto.

The first story is by the now-admitted editor of AIDT, Dovya Blacque. A Rare Storm is typical of Dovya. She manages to tell an emotional story with beautiful images without really writing a plot. This is a shore leave story and is one of her better efforts.

A Very Private Fire by D.A. Martin is also a shore leave story and is nice, but unremarkable. That Makes The Man by Yvonne DeChine is an unusual account of Lieutenant James T. Kirk's encounter with a man named Timothy and how that man comes to effect his life. The K/S is nicely woven into the story, even if the entire premise is a bit stretched at times.

Bond Brothers by K.L. Fidelius is a story about Kirk and Spock being abandoned on an uninhabited planet. Nothing remarkable about the plot, the writing or the handling of the subject matter. This was not my favorite story in this issue. Passion In The Touch Of A Friend by Tere Ann Roderick is a story of discovery while Kirk and Spock are stranded overnight on a very cold planet. Again, an unremarkable story, but not a bad read.

To Face The Music by Greta Foulard is a very short, very nice post-STAR TREK 4 story that deals with the scene where Kirk looks up to see Spock standing on the mountain. A very nice piece.

The Sweetest Sound by Roberta is just that, sweet. It's cute and somewhat original in concept. Kirk beams down to where Spock's on planet survey and asks him a question that sends Spock into a whirl. I think the story ended far too soon!

Burden Not Our Rememberances by David Alexander started out very nicely, very interesting but fell away toward the end. This is a ghost story of sorts, but I never once felt truly interested in what was going on (though I am a fan of ghost stories). Spock seemed very out of character, which was not a result of this being a post-STAR TREK 4 story as much as the writer's poor grasp of the character. Not a story to skip, but not a story to linger over or read more than once.

Impasse by Addison Reed is an upsetting story in that it presents a situation that deals with bigotry within the upper reaches of Starfleet and the Federation. I disliked the premise of the story, but I can't fault the very capable writing which evoked such a strong emotion in me... and it is a fairly happy ending. The best story in the zine, in my opinion, is The Valley Of The Blue Sun, perhaps one of Robin Hood's best stories. Kirk and Spock are stranded in a strange valley in the mountains of a hostile planet where the inhabitants have forgotten what emotions are. Through a series of events, not only do the inhabitants learn what emotions are, Kirk and Spock get together! Robin rushed the ending a bit, and Spock's trans- formation is also a bit rushed, but this is a very good story, a good read.

As an aside, I'm going to mention Dovya's editorial. Usually, I wouldn't deal with an editorial as that is the editor's opinion and is not subject to anyone 'editorializing' in a review. However, this editorial consists of a recommendation of a tape called 'Whales Alive' which is music and dramatic readings inspired by STAR TREK 4, music composed by Paul Winter, reading by Leonard Nimoy. I took Dovya's recommendation and absolutely love this tape. So, not only do I recommend AIDT #7 as a decent read, I recommend "Whales Alive' as a highly inspirational work of art. [17]

Issue 8

front cover of issue #8, Merle Decker, was previously published as interior art in issue #2: "The cover this time is a reprint of an illustration for From the Fields which was printed in AIDT #2. While I don't mid reprinting one of my favorite drawings, I would have preferred having something new for you. But... there aren't any artists out there doing K/S anymore, are there? You-whooo! Artists! If you're out there, let me hear from you. Send me copies of your work so I can see what you do. I need you! I'd like to thank Merle -- who will know I've reused this illustration whens she receives her copy of this zine! -- for the beautiful drawing. I've had it for several years and it's one of my favorite things on my very crowded living room walls." -- from the zine's editorial
back cover of issue #8, Shellie Whild

As I Do Thee 8 was published in 1987 and contains 178 pages.

The artwork is by Merle Decker, The Southern Cross, Ann Mara Crouch, Jacquelyn Zoost, Caro Hedge, and Shellie Whild.

Regarding the story "Odd Man Out":
[from the editorial]: Lynn Shomei is a hard-core McCoy fan.... so I'd like to give you a little fair warning that her story deals with intimacies between Spock and McCoy as well as a K/S situation. I know some people don't care to read anything but K/S and have complained in the past when they've come across a variation of the K/S theme in a K/S zine. So, be warned. BUT, I suggest you don't skip this story as it is very, very good.
The editorial also addresses being "right" and "wrong" in fandom:

"We are not going to kill today."

Strange title for an editorial? Maybe, but it's what I find myself repeating over and over to myself lately. It seems that more and more, fandom is becoming an obstacle course of what is "done" and what is "not done." Behavior and opinions dictated to all of fandom by a select, self-appointed few.

What brought this on? A lot of things. The air of what's best and what's not, the feeling that if you (generic) speak up and say you don't car for something that is "popular" you are a mental deficient, the sense that there are all these "unwritten rules" of fandom. Lately, everywhere I turn, someone seems to be telling me I shouldn't feel this way or I shouldn't say that, or I'm wrong about what I'm thinking. Well, there simply is no "wrong" or "right" when it comes to opinion, there is simply "popular" and "unpopular."

In my opinion, it would be very nice if we (fandom) could remember that the heart of what we are doing in Star Trek, IDIC and Nome (the concept, not the zine), meaning that our differences -- whether of opinion, belief, skin color, or sexual preference -- should make us stronger, not weaker and fragmented. Tolerance, if not acceptance, should be an active part of everyone's dealing with the rest of fandom.
  • Wastelands by Dovya Blacque (poem) (inside front cover)
  • Second "AIDT" Writing Contest (art by The Southern Cross used as the cover of issue #6 is the prompt) (6)
  • The Richest of Men by Shellie Whild (poem) (6)
  • Tight Spaces by Alexis Fegan Black (Trapped in a tunnel, different and unexpected pressures come into play for Kirk and Spock, causing each to undergo his own type of metamorphosis... leading to a confrontation neither had ever expected.) (also in Speed of Light) (7)
  • On Having and Wanting, poem by D.A. Martin (42)
  • Is the Honeymoon Over? by A.L. Hughes (Kirk is taking Spock for granted, so Spock takes McCoy's advise and starts ignoring his lover.) (43)
  • The Spell/Resurrection, poem by Sharon Pearson (61)
  • First Contact by D.A. Martin (poem) (62)
  • Call Me Jim, art by Bonita Kale (64)
  • By Dawn's Light by Addison Reed (Kirk's mother returns earlier than expected knowing that her son has come home to visit.) (65)
  • Convalescing by Charlotte Frost (Stricken by a rare and debilitating type of Vulcan flu, Spock is helpless while Kirk deals with the disappearance of their bond, a lieutenant with a crush on Spock, and the not-so-simple ins and outs of nursing a very ill Vulcan...) (67)
  • Hidden Truths, poem by Bonita Kale (112)
  • Integration, poem by D.A. Martin (113)
  • Chrysalis/Shadow, poem by Sandee Maxwell (114)
  • Journey by Kate Lloyd (What happened after the end of Journey To Babel? This is one possibility.) (115)
  • Door, poem by Kate Lloyd (115)
  • Caverns of Wind, poem by Jane Fury (126)
  • Odd Man Out by Lynn Shomei (Spock has waited a long time for Kirk to come to him, to admit his feelings. It's been a long, difficult wait... during which the Vulcan has turned to another friend for comfort and understanding. Now it's time to leave that comfort, to say goodby to one friend and hello to another. Non K/S story.) (It is a truly loving, caring relationship far both men, but they knew from the beginning that it would end when Kirk realized his love for the Vulcan. That time has come and Spock plans for one last very special night with the doctor.) (127)
  • Rex, poem by Anne Fitzgibbons (135)
  • Vulcan Ice, poem by Ann Fitzgibbons (136)
  • Collision Course by Addison Reed (There has been a misunderstanding between Kirk and Spock and neither one is ready to confront the other. Meanwhile, an adventure develops involving a non-member planet that has suddenly asked for UFP assistance. The ENTERPRISE responds only to find a trap waiting.) (137)
  • Voyager, poem by Dovya Blacque (inside back cover)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 8

See reactions and reviews for Convalescing.
See reactions and reviews for Collision Course.
See reactions and reviews for Odd Man Out.
See reactions and reviews for Tight Spaces.
See reactions and reviews for Journey.
See reactions and reviews for Is the Honeymoon Over?.
See reactions and reviews for By Dawn's Light.
[zine]: I have always appreciated the general good quality of AS I DO THEE. The cover illustration on #8 by Merle Decker, was used as interior art in an earlier issue of AIDT and looks beautifully against the green background. Dovya Blacque's editorial contains some encouraging words about IDIC concepts as applied to fandom. TIGHT SPACES by Alexis Fagen Black is the first story in the zine. Kirk and Spock get trapped in a tunnel on a planet. Kirk acquires acute symptoms resulting from claustrophobia while Spock acquires a sudden problem with his 'biology'. Naturally, Kirk is the only available answer to the problem and the story goes on to tell about how both deal with the incident after they are rescued. The familiar Pon Farr premise is saved by Alexis' excellent writing talents, and offers some interesting insights into Kirk's personality. I found A.L. Hughes' IS THE HONEYMOON OVER? very entertaining. As the title implies, the story involves Spock's confusion over Kirk's sudden nonchalant attitude towards their relationship. After obtaining some sound advice from McCoy, Spock uses some psychology on Kirk to bring him back to his senses. CONVALESCING by Charlotte Frost was my favorite in the zine. Spock gets a form of Vulcan flu and becomes extremely ill. With the deterioration of his body and mind, the bond between himself and Kirk disappears which is a natural result of this illness. Kirk is also confronted with a crewman who has fallen in love with Spock. The story is a very sensitive one, and I felt it brought out the qualities that make the relationship between Kirk and Spock so special. JOURNEY by Kate Lloyd offers a continuation of an episode, after McCoy has 'the last word' in sickbay. Although the connection with the episode pleased me, it wasn't one of my favorite stories in the zine. The evolution of Kirk and Spock's relationship just went too quickly for me in this one. ODD MAN OUT by Lynn Shomei is, as the editor warns in the editorial, a K/S/Mc story. These types of stories generally do not appeal to me, but this one is extremely well written and effectively disturbing. The ending kind of leaves you up in the air, though, and I would like to see a sequel to it. COLLISION COURSE by Allison [sic] Reed is a K/S action story. Kirk and Spock have a misunderstanding between them which threatens to destroy their newly evolved relationship. While Kirk suffers over this, and Spock retreats behind his barriers, the Enterprise is asked to aid the inhabitants of the Planet Hestriades in the capture of a group of rebels from the planet. The rebels are called the Skee and they have gone against the Hestriades' directive which states that no inhabitant of that planet is allowed to leave its atmosphere, The plot was interesting with the elements of Kirk and Spock's relationship well worked into it and the characterizations were believable. The poetry in the zine is good, as well as two short pieces; one is entitled FIRST CONTACT by Martin. This is a very short dialogue piece which I found to be especially endearing. I wished it could have been longer. It's simplicity and innocence somehow brought back the mood of the old K/S fiction. The other short piece, DAWN'S LIGHT by Allison Reed, is again, very heart warming, and involves Kirk's mother's initial realization of Kirk and Spock's relationship. One the whole, I think AS I DO THEE 8 is well worth the purchase.[18]
[zine]: The first thing that struck me about this zine was the beautiful cover Illo by Merle Decker, which was originally printed in AIDT2. It is a portrait of a pensive and very slim Spock wearing a long black robe, sitting in a window staring out at the desert, a forgotten book in his lap. It has always been one of my favorite illos by this talented artist, and I'm glad the editor chose to reuse it... To sum up, there is something here to please everyone. With its deep green textured covers, attractive story borders by Caro Hedge, and non-reduced print, this zine is pleasing to the eye and a definite must for any K/S fan. The artwork is sparse, but who cares when the stories are great. The best I've read in a long time. Highly recommended.[19]

Issue 9

back cover of issue #9, Chris Soto: "Most gorgeous Kirk and Spock portraits, in tuxedos. Flawlessly done, in ink, such strong black and white. An ironic thing about these depictions is that Spock the non-Terran looks so at home in a tuxedo, with his classic elegance; and it's Kirk who shouldn't but does look more out of character in a tuxedo, and this is a turn-on." [20]
front cover of issue #9, Chris Soto. "Mention these covers to anyone who’s seen them and call them the “tuxedo covers” and they’ll gasp with pleasure. It’s worth it to get the original of this zine just for the covers. A sophisticated, elegant tuxedoed Spock with a hint of haughtiness and power graces the front. A boyish, handsome Kirk, looking as if he’s a little too young to be wearing such sophisticated attire, graces the back cover. Both are surrounded by a black background which lends an air of mystery and strength to these drawings." [21]

As I Do Thee 9 was published in 1987 and contains 152 pages.

This issue includes fiction contest winners; fans were to write a story interpreting an illo by The Southern Cross -- that illo was used on the front of "As I Do Thee" #6, see that issue above.

  • Voice of Smoke, poem by Dovya Blacque (inside front cover)
  • Touchstone by Robin Hood (4)
  • Just for Old Times' Sake by Addison Reed. (Humor: After Kirk and Spock retire, McCoy makes a surprise visit to their home on Vulcan.) (5)
  • Disorderly Passions, poem by Linda Frankel (12)
  • Barely Blue by Robin Hood (When Spock is unable to decelerate after their run-in with the Scalosians, Kirk recelerates to be with him while hoping to find a solution before Spock dies.) (13)
  • Uncharted Worlds, poem by Ellen Morris (31)
  • First Place: Out of the Rock by Martha Selena Brown (After V'ger, Spock has difficulty dealing with the lessons learned from the probe. For Kirk, a new understanding of his friend and of himself leads him to help Spock acclimate to his new-found self.) (33)
  • I Am the Captain, poem by C. Evan Wood (50)
  • Second Place: In His Image by Charlotte Frost (The transport of a rare and precious collection of sculptures opens new images to Kirk's mind. And after meeting the eccentric Vulcan recipient of the shipment, both Kirk and Spock discover they have a lot to think about.) (51)
  • Sunrise/Nightfall, poem by Ellen Morris (71)
  • Defense, poem by Martha Selena Brown (73)
  • For Me, poem by C. Evan Wood (74)
  • Third Place: Lion Heart by Tess Aigner (Unknown aliens choose Spock as the target of their experiment to test human limitations. This particular test: to judge and measure the length humans will go to for the ones they love.) (75)
  • Time Colors, poem by Lonetta Ives (82)
  • Honorable Mention: Anchorage by Addison Reed (One summary: The Klingon Bird of Prey floats in San Francisco Bay. The crew watches with held breath for the whales to emerge from the hold where they were trapped. Time slips by and the whales do not appear... and neither does Admiral Kirk... Another summary: Kirk almost drowns while releasing the whales from the bird-of-prey but is drawn back from near death by his bond with Spock which also releases the rest of Spock's memories of their life together as bondmates.) (83)
  • Spirit Wind by Greggia Seta (Back on Earth after Spock's refusion, Kirk finds a letter delivered before Spock's death predicting the events leading to that death and what followed.) (99)
  • Love Storm, poem by Linda Frankel (108)
  • It Can Always Get Worse by Ursula Tulle (Kirk begins having nightmares of losing his ship shortly before the fateful cadet cruise that will take Spock's life.) (109)
  • Let Me Stay, poem by Cybel Harper (115)
  • New Light, poem by Dovya Blacque (117)
  • Perfect Pain, poem by Robin Hood (118)
  • Secrets in Stone by D.A. Martin (Hearing rumors that Kirk and Spock are lovers, an artist friend of McCoy's creates a statue of them, but after McCoy sees it he tries to hide it from them, unaware that the rumors are true.) (119)
  • Orbit, poem by Natasha Solten (137)
  • Reunited, poem by Faris Vincent (reprinted from "As I Do Thee" #1) (138)
  • Waiting for the Sun by Faris Vincent (Spock seems unable to let go of his unemotional way of life after V'Ger and Kirk finds it harder and harder to let things continue as they are.) (139)
  • With You, poem by Cybel Harper (149)
  • Only You, poem by Rhea Gowan (151)
  • From Your Dreams, poem by Dovya Blacque (inside back cover)
  • Art: by Chiya, Arleen Geller, The Southern Cross, Leigh Wyatt, Virigina Lee Smith, Chris Soto and Jacquelyn Zoost

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 9

See reactions and reviews for Out of the Rock.
See reactions and reviews for Waiting for the Sun.
See reactions and reviews for Secrets in Stone.
See reactions and reviews for In His Image.
See reactions and reviews for Barely Blue.
See reactions and reviews for Just for Old Times' Sake.
See reactions and reviews for Spirit Wind.
See reactions and reviews for Anchorage.
See reactions and reviews for Lion Heart.
[zine]: Most of the stories in this zine were contest entries, stories based on a drawing by The Southern Cross. The drawing is very mysterious, a dark, organic place, or at least Spock seems to be half in the dark, and Kirk is the light. The interaction between them—Spock reaching out, Kirk holding and looking down at Spock's hand—is equally mysterious, and so is very open to interpretation. It's so interesting to see how the same visual is interpreted by different writers; K/S'ers sure do have fertile imaginations.

"OUT OF THE ROCK" by Martha Selena Brown was the first-place winner. It takes place just after the Vger incident. This was so rich, and got to my heart, the re interpretation of lines from the movie and the exploration of the "this simple feeling" scene. The interpretation of the drawing in this story was a fantastic dream-sequence, Kirk's dream, of pulling Spock out of rock, but then Spock is bleeding to death and rfs up to Kirk to help him grow new skin. Spock in reality is needing to learn to live with his feelings and Kirk will help him learn the human ways of dealing with feelings. Melds are used in an interesting way here, for Kirk to "feel" things and show Spock how he deals with it. McCoy is there, to observe and scan, and there's a cute ploy he uses that stimulates a very real feeling in Kirk, and Spock of course gets the message. Some really lovely scenes, their discovering their love and acting on it. Beautiful. Here's a line I loved, about Kirk: "the one part of him not trembling and uncertain." And one of Spock's: in their lonely years apart from each other, on Gol, he dreamed not of Kirk, but of "everything cool and life-giving, and told myself I hadn't dreamed of you." Nice sex, fine intensity, but one thing I personally never care for in K/S sex is sucking cock "like a baby at the breast." We could just say it's like sucking a breast if we want to, but not like a baby doing so.

"IN HIS IMAGE" by Charlotte Frost was the second place winner. In this interpretation, the Enterprise is transporting some statues by an Andorian sculptor. So it's a live Kirk touching a statue of Spock. I could really see this in the drawing. We get a look into the sculptor's life and obsession with Vulcans, and Spock in particular, with an in-depth exploration of the sculptor's sexuality, and Spock's. We learn of the sculptor's very unVulcan Vulcan lover. All this makes Kirk of course want to learn. more; he pushes to get closer to Spock. Beautiful' overtures by Kirk. A flaw, I felt: in their dialogue in these scenes discussing their friendship and what's happening between them, they speak in past tense. This is happening now, and has been happening ever since they met, and they wouldn't speak of the dynamics between them as if they're in the past. "I longed lo see something in you that you always denied me." "Such feelings frightened me; I did not know how to deal with them." These would be better said in past-perfect tense, or present tense. "I have longed,.." "Such feelings frighten me..." This leads to a clear realization and acknowledgment of their feelings, then an intense quickie because of course they can't stand to wait one minute longer. Nice story.

"ANCHORAGE" by Addison Reed was an honorable mention, which I liked maybe the best, as a story, though admittedly the interpretation of the drawing was a bit thin. This is a unique repetition and mirroring of the scenario of McCoy trying to prevent Kirk from going in after Spock in the radiation chamber. This time, Kirk is drowning in the cargo hold of the Klingon ship crashed in the bay, trying to free the whales, and McCoy is holding Spock back: he's been down there too long; he's dead already, etc. I love the echoes of all the things McCoy said to Kirk then, and is saying to Spock now. Really powerful stuff. All of it is lovely, the recapturing of moments in ST3 and 4. Clinging to the ship, Spock sends his essence down into the water after Kirk. This is the drawing interpretation, Kirk picking this up in his dying moments. Of course he does not die. Then when the skies have cleared.... Spock is finally back in his right mind, and Kirk knows it, knows Spock remembers their love. That night, at the apartment, the night before the hearing of the Federation Council, nice, nice, they fall into each other's arms. The sex is intense and wonderful, a touch of desperate. I love how Kirk feverishly wants more, more, though Spock is as fully inside him as he can be. A very powerful, beautiful release for Kirk, after his months of anguish.[22]
[zine]: I am very fond of AS I DO THEE. They are on time and consistently look good. AIDT 9 is no exception. When the zine fell out of the envelope, I held my breath. There was the most magnificent Chris Solo pen and ink illo of Spock centered on black, wearing a tux! The execution is one of the best I've seen of Chris's. She certainly can't be surpassed when she works in this medium. There is a matching Kirk on the back, but unfortunately the pose the artist used has been done too many times. Nothing could touch the Spock anyway. There. How's that for a beginning for a zine? AIDT 9 presents the contest winners from the last zine. While I don't agree with the order that the judge placed the stories in, they are good K/S and that's what I read a zine for. If I get a good all around package thrown in, fine, but let's remind ourselves that color covers and fat zines printed on thick paper with wide margins doesn't get us reading material. It just builds our biceps carrying it around. Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a tangent. Inside front cover is a Dovya Blacque poem. Fitting since the editor is a true poet. Wonderful images and even better poetry. Makes you want to paint. Being a poet, the editor takes great pains to keep the majority in her zines far above standard. The zine begins with a Robin Hood poem, TOUCHSTONE is in my opinion, one of the very best she's ever done- Gave me chills. JUST FOR OLD TIMES SAKE is 'cute'. I'm not fond of 'cute', but many readers are. It's written well and does place McCoy in a fun situation. BARELY BLUE is one of the few stories about "Wink Of An Eye" I've ever read. Very interesting idea. The plot takes place after Deela Is gone, leaving Spock still excellerated and unable to "slow down". McCoy searches for an antidote and Kirk excellerates too be with Spock. Well written with its different approach. What I've come to expect from Ms. Hood- Too bad there wasn't an illo. Seems like there should have been one. The first place winner of the contest stories is OUT QF THE ROCK and It was very well written. A post VGer story. Explicit enough for the most jaded readers, yet filled with the love and relationship that we must have in good K/S. I would have placed the story second, though. LION HEART -- short and very intense. That was the problem. Too short. In 8 pages I felt as it I'd run a marathon, and poor Kirk! He was put through the wringer! If you need that zine, this is the story- It's third place position seemed about right. The writing was very competent. From a new writer? Not a lot of sex, but tons of emotion. My pick for first place would have been the honorable mention, ANCHORAGE. A post Trek-IV story. Good plot, competently written. Long enough to get into and yet not over-written. I like Ms. Reed's ending to the movie much better than the one released to the general public. The other two honorable mentions by Ursula Tulle and Greoata Setta were barely worth mentioning. A story not in competition. SECRETS IN STONE was much better. A statue of K & S as lovers comes on exhibition and McCoy sees it. Everyone knows they're lovers? Right? Wrong! Kirk and Spock didn't know yet! Well written. ORBIT, a poem by Natasha Solten is wonderful K/S and even more exquisite poetry. A must. WAITING FOR THE SUN by Farin Vincent - loved the last line. A nice finish to a nice story, full of nice images. DREAMS DROWN, a nightmare poem by Ms. Hood that makes you want to pat the bed to make sure that your mate is still there. The zine closes with the pen & ink Kirk in the tux, leaving a very satisfied feeling in your mind. A nice, clean, tight, tidy, well-edited zine - exactly what I paid my $15.00 for! [23]
[zine]: Like Elizabeth Bennet, "I dearly love a laugh," and I found agood one in AS I DO THEE #9. Addison Reed's "For Old Times Sake" is a double entendre vignette (that's not giving anything away; it isn't a punchline story) that sends me into hysterics every time I read it. The zine is a contest issue. The Southern Cross illustration that inspired the contest was ambiguous enough to lead the entrants in several interesting directions. We are also given stories and poetry that aren't based on the illo. It's a good issue for poetry. I was especially impressed by "Let Me Stay," by Cybel Harper, strong emotion in simple words. The covers are beautiful Chris Soto head shots of Kirk and Spock in white tie; my only complaint is that I would have put Kirk on the front and Spock on the back, so as to face each other when the zine is spread. On the other hand, what do I know? Joey Brook's "Icons" in AS I DO THEE #10, introduces a Vulcan woman who's changed her name and broken with some, but not all, of the Vulcan tradition. The focus of the story is Kirk and Spock, but Nan-Fee is more than a deus ex machina; she's one of the most likeable Vuleans I've met.[24]

Issue 10

back cover of issue #10 by Kay Wells
front cover of issue #10 by Marilyn Cole -- "The cover art. I've been calling it "unidentifiable hunks on steroids, since the resemblance to Kirk and Spock is faint at best. Cover art should be a good likeness." [25]

As I Do Thee 10 was published in 1988 and contains 172 pages. It has art by Marilyn Cole, Ellen Morris, Dragon, Virginia Lee Smith, Kay Wells and Shellie Whild, and story borders by Caro Hedge.

The zine's dedication: "This is dedicated to STAR TREK… in its only original and immortal form…"

From the editorial:
This MIGHT (I stress might became if I can't come up with an excellent title, I'll forget about it) be the last issue of AS I DO THEE. It just seems that #10 would be a very good place to stop. The guidelines (you know: no undue violence, slavery, mayhem, torture or rape, not to mention death) ate getting just a little bit restrictive. I had this great (and I mean great) 'death' story that was submitted (nearly the only story that was!) to the now defunct RETURN THE DAY that I would have loved to have, printed in AIDT but I had to turn down because of the guidelines I've set up up for this zine. Soooo... I thought a new zine might be in order. Which brings me to the point…. I am open to suggestions for titles for my new zine. Although I would like to break with present guidelines, that doesn't mean I'll start taking all kinds of nasty stories that have Kirk and Spock raping and pillaging one another. No, the new zine would stick to the same basics as AIDT, but wouldn't be as restricted. So, write in with those title ideas…. As you might have surmised from the dedication on the title page of this issue, I am not a fan of (I can't even bring myself to put the words on paper!)… that 'new show'. I won't go into it here, the topic has been covered fairly well in several other places. Suffice it to say that I've given it a good try. I really have! I watched the first 10 shows. But, last weekend, as I sat there trying to watch yet another ripped off plot, I simply couldn't take it anymore. To say I'm disappointed in this… travesty is to understate my position severely.
  • A Gift from the Past by Cybel Harper (Wandering around San Francisco, Spock comes upon an art gallery in which he discovers a most unusual piece of art... and piece of his lover's past...) (5)
  • Duet, poem by Robin Hood (10)
  • A Small Glitch in the System by Martha Selena Brown (Everything was running smoothly aboard the USS ENTERPRISE, everything that is except the usually legendary rapport between her command officer and his first officer. Ever since NOMAD, nothing had quite been the same…) (11)
  • Deliverance, poem by Shellie A. Whild (31)
  • Heaven or Hell, poem by Dana Austin Marsh (32)
  • A Sudden Waking by Dana Austin Marsh (Kirk is confronted by Spock's bisexuality when he runs into Spock and his payed companion-a Kirk lookalike, causing Kirk to withdraw from Spock until he can come to terms with his own feelings.) (33)
  • Reaffirmation by Elizabeth Scott (Different planets breed different cultures, different desires... Established lovers, Kirk and Spock learn to adapt to and deal with their many vast dissimilarities…) (57)
  • Red Fog, poem by Robin Hood (62)
  • Green Fog, poem by Robin Hood (63)
  • Distant Thunder, poem by Linda Frankel (64)
  • Thief of Dreams by Robin Hood (In his dreams, James T. Kirk is chased by a nightmare vision that, even upon waking, he can't quite seem to shake. With the help of his first officer, he faces the reality brought to him by those visions in times of slumber…) (65)
  • No Power, poem by Cybel Harper (86)
  • Icons by Zoey Brook (A Vulcan female who has rejected the ways of Vulcan causes problems for Spock.) (87)
  • The Night Men, poem by Robin Hood (117)
  • Your Lightning Smile, poem by Linda Frankel (119)
  • Creation, poem by Cybel Harper (120)
  • Fog by Dovya Blacque (Kirk takes shelter in a doorway when he becomes lost in the fog during a storm and meets, and has an intimate encounter with, an unseen stranger who reminds him a lot of Spock.) (also in Shadows in the Rain) (121)
  • Lost Souls by Kay Wells (Plagued by dreams haunted by visions of his unspoken love for his first officer, Kirk takes steps to 'work it out of his system' by visiting a very special pleasure house, not knowing that Spock has similar plans…) (139)
  • Home Early, poem by Dana Austin Marsh (inside back cover)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 10

See reactions and reviews for A Sudden Waking.
See reactions and reviews for A Small Glitch in the System.
See reactions and reviews for Home Early.
See reactions and reviews for Lost Souls.
See reactions and reviews for A Gift from the Past.
See reactions and reviews for Icons.
See reactions and reviews for Reaffirmation.
See reactions and reviews for Fog.
See reactions and reviews for Thief of Dreams.
I cannot recommend AS I DO THEE #10, which suffers from bad editing. The editor confesses in the editorial that this is the tenth AIDT in four years, and the speed with which these are assembled shows in the final product. I have some suggestions for a better zine:

1. The cover art. I've been calling it "unidentifiable hunks on steroids," since the resemblance to Kirk and Spock is faint at best. Cover art should be a good likeness.

2. Typographical errors in the text are a major source of confusion. The reader doesn't expect perfection; zines are, after all, amateur publications. We can all easily overlook the occasional "teh" for "the" and other minor typos. However, the only proofreading in this zine seems to have been done by word processor. A spell-check program cannot detect an error such as "them" for 'then* or "feel" for "fell" should have been. Typos of this sort are more than a minor irritant, they turn sentences into nonsense. The reader loses whatever "spell of stopy* the author had created while reading and rereading a line in an effort to comprehend just which word is incorrect and what had originally been intended. Amateur authors need help, not hindrance. A human being to sit down and read the stories (it seems so simple, doesn't it?) would have solved this problem.

3. Our hypothetical human proofreader would have also noticed that half of the stories have the same plot. It's a good idea to have Kirk learn through nightmares that he's been suppressing his love for Spock, but does one zine need four versions of it? A fifth story provides a little comic relief (however unintentional): Spock, wide awake, spends most of the story convinced he's dreaming! There are more common themes: in two stories Kirk and Spock visit houses of prostitution and in three we are told that the bridge of the ENTERPRISE is no longer a fun place to be. The last story in the zine contains tension on the bridge, a house of prostitution, and Kirk's nightmares! Sort of a condensed version of the rest of the stories.

4. AIDT#10 suffers also from intrusive story borders. There's a fan, a candle that is easily 2" tall, and a bottle-and-pillow composition. These are all lovely images, but they serve as yet another element which detracts from the stories. Story borders "finish" a page of text nicely, but the wide, one-column format of most zines is difficult enough for the eye without overly elaborate artwork vying with the typos for the reader's attention.

None of these elements would have been as distracting if the stories had been stronger. Unfortunately, there's nothing new or freshly written here. No one story "grabs" the reader's attention (although "Fog" has some interesting elements). I ordered this zine because of the flyer, which was beautifully written. I liked the fact that there was no violence (which is becoming all too common in K/S zines), but was disappointed by the sameness of the stories and the overall quality of the zine.[26]

References

  1. from The K/S Press #23
  2. This story may have been the story that was the subject of the The Great Australian Radio Show Fiasco. The story was excerpted and read on the radio was either the "Edge of Certainty" in "As I Do Thee #1" OR "From the Fields" in "As I Do Thee #2.
  3. Sadly, this redacted name here kinda ruins the rhyme ...
  4. from On the Double #7/8
  5. from Not Tonight, Spock! #5
  6. from Not Tonight, Spock! #6
  7. from Not Tonight, Spock! #6
  8. from Datazine #39
  9. from Universal Translator #30
  10. from Not Tonight, Spock! #9
  11. from On the Double #2
  12. from Come Together #26
  13. from Datazine #43
  14. from On the Double #1
  15. from On the Double #3
  16. from On the Double #4
  17. from On the Double #4
  18. from Datazine #49
  19. from a much longer review in On the Double #6
  20. from Come Together #30
  21. from The K/S Press #21
  22. from Come Together #30
  23. from On the Double #6
  24. from Treklink #13
  25. from Treklink #13
  26. from Treklink #13