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It was published in the print zine As I Do Thee #10.
"Plagued by dreams haunted by visions of his unspoken love for his first officer, Kirk takes steps to 'work it out of his system' by visiting a very special pleasure house, not knowing that Spock has similar plans."
Reactions and Reviews
A great start to a haunting story as Kirk is plagued by dreams that are all twisted with sex and Spock's leaving him for Gol. Kirk wants so badly to tell Spock, but he doesn't and is only able to tell Spock to leave him alone. There's a wonderful moment when Kirk cries out in the middle of the night. Spock comes into his quarters, and after he leaves, Kirk was unaware that Spock could smell the scent of sex.
Some wonderful insights here as Kirk ponders his dreams and how they're part of him. "He hated them yet he loved them too. It was all he had. Spock was the other half of his soul."
The writing is really terrific and so many moments enthralled me. A particularly excellent scene took the place the morning following the night of dreams. "A new day and Starfleet's golden boy, galactic superhero and lost soul was on the bridge."
A lot of the strength in this writing comes from its simplicity. Sometimes I wonder at how strong a story can be when written with such sparseness instead of with flowing, flowery, abundant language. Spock is thinking about how he can never say anything to Kirk (and of course Kirk is thinking the same thing). Spock imagines that when his "time" comes again, he will return to Vulcan and be serviced by sterile females. "Spock knew he would never bond with a Vulcan, not as long as he loved Kirk, and that would be forever."
A fabulous Kay Wells drawing accompanies this story. It's a pen and ink of Kirk on his back. touching himself and the power and intensity just knock my socks off. The drawing itself is great, and made even greater when you read what it's portraying. Kirk has another dream and calls out in his sleep as he's masturbating. Spock comes in and stands there watching while Kirk ejaculates. Oh boy, what a carpet thrashing scene for me!
Kirk beams down to a planet where there's a bordello. Kirk is friendly with the madam and they have this long standing joke between them that if Kirk no longer wants to be a starship captain then he can certainly find work at the establishment. Even though it's a tease, in truth, the madam is serious.
Kirk tells the madam he wants a Vulcan male this time. Unbeknownst to Kirk, the madam knows Spock, who has patronized the establishment and has always asked for "an athletic blond human male". I love it!
Kirk finds a book of Vulcan poetry and is so moved, he starts to cry. He rereads it many times and it reminded me of us when we read a K/S story!
I know, I know Kirk is not supposed to faint. But he does and Spock is there and carries him to the bed. Sorry! I like it!In fad, I liked everything about this clever interesting story. 
I found it very believable that Kirk, believing Spock would reject any sexual desires he might be harboring, refused to tell Spock the contents of his dream. I also found it logical ('scuse me) that Spock would seek out a professional for sexual release. He's in an even worse position than Kirk is as far as having a relationship on the ship. Since his love is already tied up with Kirk, it seems natural for him to seek the "no ties" services of a professional.