First Time (Star Trek: TOS zine)/Issues 21-30

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Issue 21

back cover issue #21, 1st edition by Kay Wells
front cover issue #21, 1st edition by Kay Wells

First Time 21 was published in March 1989 and contains 185 pages. The interior art is by Deeb, Dragon, Judy, Carol Pierce, SBL, Kay Wells, and Shellie Whild.

  • Sleeping Beauty - Natasha Barry (A meld while Kirk is in a coma reveals his affair with Mitchell to Spock. "Sleeping Beauty," McCoy opined as he contemplated the serene visage of his captain. "Aurora was awakened by the kiss of the prince," Spock supplied absently, not really intent on the nonsensical observation. McCoy objected, "But only after she'd been sleeping for eighteen years." Offhandedly, he couldn't recall a modern case of coma lasting that long.") (4)
  • The Kindling, poem by Michelle Perry (17)
  • Save the Last Dance - Kay Wells (Misunderstanding at an all-male club. "Spock waited outside the room. And waited until he thought even his hair was beginning to tingle with the aura of energy that was seeping from under the door. Should he buzz? Or wait further? He shifted from foot to foot and waited.") (19)
  • Stranger Games - Jane Elza (Lt. Kirk enters a chess tournament and is attracted to the present champion, Spock. "I wish I'd never agreed to do this," Kirk grumbled. "There are other things I'd rather do this leave than play chess." Mitchell's answering leer almost cheered Kirk up, but his words brought back the pressure, the feeling that Gary had manipulated him, again, into doing something he didn't feel was right.") (38)
  • The Thawing, poem by Michelle Perry (39a)
  • 'Neath the Glimmering Stars, poem by Janis E. Laine (39b)
  • Angel Unaware - Pat Charles (A temporarily assigned crewman desires Spock, kindling feelings of jealousy in Kirk. "Kirk looked up, surprised. It was unlike Spock to defend, so readily, a crewmember of whose appointment he had been so disapproving. Or maybe it wasn't; he was always scrupulously fair. And so was the young man fair.") (40)
  • Rainy Day - Emily Adams (Kirk and Spock find each other while walking in the rain. "Come on, let's walk in the rain." He started to reach out to me and flashed that grin he knows I can't resist, then just as quickly aborted the gesture and returned his hand to his side. "Don't," I said quietly. The smile faded. "Don't?" he questioned. I could see the thoughts running through his mind: don't touch, don't smile, don't talk? What did I do?") (54)
  • Love Fantasy, poem by Michele Perry (59)
  • Omen, poem by Janis E. Laine (60)
  • Ambition, poem by Dovya Blacque (61)
  • Keep the Dream- Tere Ann Roderick ( (Kirk Goes AWOL from a conference after Spock and the Enterprise are reported missing. "If anyone on the Enterprise could prove helpful to these . . . gentlebeings . . . it was Spock. So why was the Vulcan serving as Acting Captain on the Enterprise while he stewed on this starbase? Spock. That was a whole other problem. The truth was, Kirk didn't know what his Vulcan was up to and he missed him.") (62)
  • Puzzle Pieces, poem by Cybel Harper (113)
  • Swan - Charlotte Frost (novella) (Just as Spock and Kirk begin a relationship, Spockʼs cousin commits suicide. "Outwardly, the slim form standing before him looked as calm and efficient as always. But Kirk had known his first officer for three years, and there was a tension in the tall frame that automatically put the captain in a contrasting, casual mode. He looked up from his paperwork and smiled. "What can I do for you, Spock?" The other's voice was hesitant, yet determined. "I wish to speak with you about a . . . personal matter.") (114)
  • The Chev'el and the Rose, poem by Jane Fury (inside back cover)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 21

See reactions and reviews for Swan.

See reactions and reviews for Angel Unaware.

See reactions and reviews for Sleeping Beauty.

See reactions and reviews for Keep the Dream.

See reactions and reviews for Rainy Day.

See reactions and reviews for Stranger Games.

See reactions and reviews for Save the Last Dance.

Issue 22

front cover issue #22, 1st edition by Lori Lee -- "The front cover features three impressions of Kirk: from Where No Man Has Gone Before—a beautifully captured cocky grin; from the episodes in general—he’s more serious now, you can see the weight of the decisions he’s had to make in his eyes; and from the movies—there’s definitely a gleam in that gaze, and I also see a measure of peace as well as determination. It’s hard to pick which rendition I like the best, they are all excellent. Also very effective are the three backpieces chosen to complement the portraits: a chess piece, a stone lintel from Amok Time, and a picture of the Enterprise going down in flames from STIII: TSFS." [1]
back cover issue #22, 1st edition by Lori Lee -- "The back cover features three impressions of Spock: from Where No Man, the episodes and the movies. The oldest and youngest Spocks are the best of the three, the series Spock seems too lined and dark. And the composition of this pictures can’t quite match the front cover, as the three accompanying objects (two chess pieces, the Guardian, the torpedo tube from STII) seem to clutter rather than complement." [2]

First Time 22 was published in July 1989 and contains 185 pages. Interior art by Deeb, Dragon, LAM, SBL, Chris Soto, Kay Wells, Shellie Whild.

interior page from issue #22, SBL for "Sandpaper and Salve" -- note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized. -- "This is a simple line drawing of two men making love, presented from a rather, uh, unique perspective. All you see are the spread legs and the equipment ready to be, uh, inserted. Oh, heck, this isn’t a family letterzine, the fellow on the top is basically ready to lower himself on the penis of the lucky one on the bottom. No facial features anywhere to be identified, this one could be used for just about any fandom. It was a shock to turn the page and see it. And yet.... Got to admit I like it! I feel as if it must be Spock on top. The cant of the shoulders reveals my lithe Vulcan, not to mention those luscious long fingers which have come around to hold Kirk’s penis to steady it before penetration. Yes! I would be interested in hearing other folks’ opinions about extremely explicit drawings in K/S zines. Do you like them or not? This one certainly qualifies." [3]

From the editorial: "It's the fourth of July and I've decided to do this zine for Shore Leave just next week. Why, you ask?… Because I have a story from Star Trek V and I want to get it out before the market is flooded. The story is Ellen Thacher's 'what's missing in this movie.' Other than these few missing scene's [sic] she feels the movie was more than presentable and knows that you all will be writing furiously."

  • Think of the Future Tomorrow - Natasha Barry. (At a diplomatic conference, Kirk meets his Klingon roommate from the Academy. "The party was a rare occurrence for Kirk. He ordinarily didn't attend them, feeling that more than six people in one room was a waste of an air pocket (you just couldn't get anything done). But his most recent love, 'the lovely Ruth' as he called her, had insisted. Wanting to please Ruth, especially when he knew he wasn't the only man bidding for her favor, he had allowed himself to be coerced into making an appearance.") (4)
  • Force Majeure, poem by Michelle Perry (19)
  • An Evening in a Forest, poem by Rachel Cavendish (20)
  • The Missing, poem by Dovya Blacque (21)
  • Purgatory - Jane Elza. (Spock transports to an A/U where he and Kirk are not friends. "Spock stared at the blue shirted Vulcan before him himself, and yet, not himself. "Fascinating," the twin murmured. "Spock?" It was Captain Kirk, leaping from the center chair, looking from the Vulcan at the science station to Spock standing in the center of the bridge. Suddenly dizzy, Spock felt himself swaying. The ion storm had twisted reality and stripped him of his controls so that when he slipped to the floor, all he felt was surprise.") (22)
  • Slow Poison, poem by Rachel Cavendish (27)
  • Siren Song - Kay Wells. (When a Vulcan hybrid infant is brought on board, Spockʼs shields are weakened when he must aid the child. "Sulu, maintain present position." "Aye, Sir," answered the helmsman. "Spock?" "The storm has passed, Captain . . . . " The dark eyes revealed an outer calm; the inner man quailed.") (28)
  • Perspective - Pat Charles. (An ambassadorʼs homophobic remarks cause Kirk and Spock to advance their plans to be together. "What do you feel?" "My feelings are not a subject for discussion." "As in there aren't any to discuss?" In the quiet of his quarters Kirk recalled the snatch of conversation and, with guilt, the fact that even in the midst of his grief for Chekov, he had been fervently hoping that McCoy's statement was untrue. Then later, in the O.K. Corral itself, he had been shown, he thought, some grounds for being optimistic.") (52)
  • Sandpaper & Salve - Elizabeth Scott. (When several crewmembers die, Spockʼs attempts to comfort Kirk escalate into passion. "Damnit, Sulu. What the hell's going on here? I order warp speed and you sit there chewing on your knuckles. If the Klingons had been on our tail, we'd all be space dust by now. When I ask for warp, I want to feel this ship move! Do you understand, Mister?" "Yes, Sir!" Sulu responded smartly. He wiped at the sweat on his forehead and wondered if someone had drawn a bulls-eye on his back. James Kirk, cheerful and efficient, was difficult enough to please. James Kirk, moody and dictatorial, was impossible.") (80)
  • Tail Chasing - Emily Adams, Marian Flanders. (While sharing a room, Kirk asks Spock to think about how a relationship would be between them. "The Ontarion behind the desk of the dilapidated hotel desk looked up, his whiskers flicking with nervousness. "Yes, Sir," he said, the structure of his mouth giving him a lisp as he spoke Federation Standard. "Room 311." The whiskers flicked again. "Enjoy your stay . . . . " His eyes followed the pair to the lift.") (96)
  • Surprise, poem by Emily Adams (111)
  • Making a List - A.T. Bush. (Spock compiles a list of marital candidates as his next pon farr approaches. "McCoy found himself reading a who's who of Starfleet's female career officers. He ate in silence until he thought he had figured out why Spock would be rating women. A mathematician wasn't needed to count to seven for him. McCoy watched Spock precisely spearing perfect squares of yellow-colored food. "Seven years," he voiced, barely audible.") (112)
  • Making Music, poem by Cybel Harper (136)
  • The Nature of Stars, poem by Dovya Blacque (137)
  • Night of Honor - Sarah B. Leonard. (Spock trades himself for Kirk and McCoy as Talʼs prisoner and is tortured for his part in the death of the female commander. "Every crew member on the bridge turned to look at the Vulcan, all of them wondering the same thing. The Captain and Dr. McCoy had not returned from a routine trip to Starbase Nine. No one had heard from them since they had left the Medical Supplies office almost two days ago. They had not reported to the transporter station and they could not be located anywhere on Base Nine. They had vanished without a clue.") (138)
  • The Pain - Ellen Thacher. (While on a camping trip after Sybokʼs death, Kirk opens up to Spock about his pain following Spockʼs “death.”. "Gentle words hovered in cool air and then fell into a well of friendly warmth as the Vulcan spoke to his friend. "I am grateful that Sybok could not . . . touch your pain." James Kirk smiled ruefully, hunching his shoulders against the breeze. "You and me both! I don't think I'm ready for anything like what might be sitting in the back of my mind." The human cocked his head and adroitly changed the subject because he knew exactly what was hiding in his psyche." (176)
  • Twilight & Dusk, poem by Rachel Cavendish (183)
  • Color of Love, poem by Roberta Haga (interpretation of the two covers of this zine) (184)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 22

See reactions and reviews for Siren Song.

See reactions and reviews for Purgatory.

See reactions and reviews for Perspective.

See reactions and reviews for Tail Chasing.

See reactions and reviews for Think of the Future Tomorrow.

See reactions and reviews for Night of Honor.

See reactions and reviews for Making a List.

See reactions and reviews for The Pain.

See reactions and reviews for Sandpaper & Salve.

[zine]: I recently took considerable pleasure in re- reading this zine from Merry Men Press; I hadn’t read it in years and didn’t remember very clearly what was in the zine. To my delight I came across several stories that I had always wanted to find again, in particular Night of Honor by Sara B. Leonard and Perspective by Pat Charles. The zine was published in July 1989 and can still be ordered from Robin Hood of Merry Men Press. The stories and art are presented in order. I review all of the stories and a few of the pieces of art. [see her comments on the art above, and see individual pages for her fiction comments] [6]

Issue 23

back cover issue #23, 1st edition by DEW
front cover issue #23, 1st edition by DEW -- "Those eyes caught my attention, mysterious and inquisitive, introspective and outgoing—true windows of their souls." [7]

First Time 23 was published in 1989 and contains 182 pages. Interior art is by Deeb, Dragon, Susan K. Dundas, SBL, Kay Wells, and Shellie Whild.

  • First Star - Lurae Brisley (Kirk is injured when taken as a hostage shortly after VʼGer, so McCoy sends him and Spock on shoreleave for him to recuperate. "James Kirk, looking more like a beachcomber than the captain of a starship, sat lost in thought. Wearing cut-offs, feet stuffed into soft sandals, he shivered, in spite of the hot sun that beat down from a cloudless sky. Mentally, he scolded himself for not working harder on those Vulcan disciplines.") (4)
  • Loneliness, poem by Cybel Harper (19)
  • Eavesdropper - Gena Moretti (After Kirk and Spock are in a prolonged meld , Spock finds he is able to alter Kirkʼs behavior and read his thoughts. "Okay, Spock, I've got him now. Come on, let go. I can take care of him if you'll just let go! Please boy, you're exhausted! That's it, end the meld. Easy, easy now. You're both gonna be fine. You leave everything to me. Attaboy, Spock, now you just sleep and rest. Rest.") (20)
  • The Offer - Judith Coventry (Kirk is raped during the “Festival” of the red hour and begins to unconsciously blame Spock for not being there for him and for the love and desire he has been hiding from himself and Spock. "I asked you for a simple explanation, Spock." The tone was deadly. "And I believe I have given it, Captain." The Vulcan appeared outwardly calm but felt the combination of anger and concern for the human warring inside his chest. "Is that what you call it?" Kirk was out of the command chair and at the railing below the science station. He lowered his voice so only the Vulcan could hear. "You're of no use to me anymore, since I can't trust you to help me. Don't bother to deny it either!" he hissed.") (30)
  • A View from the Tower - Emily Adams "(Kirk and Spock take the final step to love after climbing to the top of a tower together. ". . . 328 . . . 329 . . . 330. "Three hundred thirty!" Kirk announced with a flourish and stopped at the head of the steps, bending over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "Precisely," Spock agreed, stepping up beside his captain, the long climb not having affected him. Kirk looked at his friend with amusement. "You knew what I meant! That means you counted too!" He laughed delightedly, if somewhat breathlessly.") (40)
  • Separation, poem by Jean Schnedler (57)
  • The Merry-Go-Round - Telana Wells (Kirk, Spock and McCoy go to a carnival when on shoreleave and Kirk and Spock find themselves growing ever closer,unaware that the crew think they are lovers. "In the space of a heartbeat, Spock's anxiety peaked. "Jim?" He stepped closer, reaching a hand toward his fallen captain. Quick as a snake, Kirk grabbed the outstretched arm and flipped his unprepared first officer, pouncing on him and pinning him with his whole body. Spock raised his head up enough to look his victor in the eyes, their faces inches from each other. "That was somewhat unethical, Captain.") (58)
  • Shackle, poem by Rachel Cavendish (95)
  • Addiction - Gena Moretti (After Kirk initiates Spock into the pleasures of a footrub, Spock wants him to show him other “areas of pleasurable sensation”. "McCoy had brought along some 'sipping' brandy for himself and Jim to enjoy, as they lounged among the big pillows, looking at space, talking and just being together. McCoy stretched and idly remarked, "The only thing needed to make times like this super perfect is something warm and soft to cuddle.") (96)
  • You Are, poem by Cybel Harper (102)
  • Passion Play, poem by Rachel Cavendish (103)
  • Shadow Dancing - Jane Elza (Two [[bonded Vulcan ambassadors come aboard the Enterprise and while there ask Spock to set up a time for them to perform a prereform dance. "Captain Kirk was looking at him again. Spock could feel it. During the briefing, Kirk seemed to be looking down at the file before him on the table, but the Vulcan knew differently. And now Kirk was looking at him from beneath his lashes, studying him, watching him with that curious expression that had been on his face since Sabir and Sulandr.") (104)
  • Trust, poem by Cybel Harper (111)
  • Raemose - Anna Parrish (Kirk must try to hide his true feelings from Spock he discovers while injured, and he is held by Spock until help arrives. "Captain," Spock said, cool and dignified, distant. "I have come to tender my resignation." I fell from the ropes in my hurry to get to him. As he moved forward, I scrambled to my feet. "You can't! I won't let you!" "Captain? I do not understand." He was clearly puzzled. "I thought you were happy here," I said in pain. My hands were clutched behind my back for it I did not keep them there, I would touch him. "Why?" I stepped closer and was surprised to find he was avoiding looking into my eyes. "Spock?" "Captain, I . . . . " He stopped, startled, disturbed. He finally said, "My reasons are private." (112)
  • Freedom, poem by Rachel Cavendish (125)
  • Blind Fool - Kay Wells (When McCoy sends a new officer on the Enterprise-A to talk to Kirk about the price of command, Kirk realizes the price he himself has payed. "Does Spock know this information is in the computer?" Kirk asked, a real fear beginning to show in his eyes, and a knot forming in his throat. "Of course," McCoy blurted. "He was instrumental in obtaining it after . . . . " Kirk's stricken look jolted the doctor into revealing the last bit of information in a more compassionate tone. "It was only through Spock's insistence probably with a little help from Ambassador Sarek and Admiral Sarnin that it was made available to command personnel and not just doctors." "That was " The stark realization hit Kirk, cutting off his words in mid-sentence. A stabbing pain gripped his stomach and he suddenly felt very alone and very old. "That was for my benefit," he started again. "He was hoping I'd see it twenty years ago." He hung his head but not before McCoy had seen the pain in his eyes. "Jim." The doctor spoke softly. "He's never rebonded. There haven't even been any pre-bonding arrangements made with anyone.") (126)
  • Once More... In Standard - Addison Reed (Kirk tries to give Spock lessons in seduction when they are given the orders to go after the Romulan cloaking device but realizes his true feelings and is afraid of what Spockʼs reaction will be. "Am I to be made aware of that plan, Captain?" "I'm afraid you are the plan. And that's the part of this whole scheme I like the least." Bouncing to his feet, Kirk threw his hands in the air, addressing the walls on each side of them as he paced. "Oh, they aren't asking much this time. First of all they want me to take the Enterprise across the Neutral Zone and into enemy territory without so much as a 'kiss my ass' and then, just because you share ancient amnesty, they expect you to sweet talk a Romulan Commander into handing over the Empire's newest defense technology.") (146)
  • The Light, poem by Rachel Cavendish (177)
  • Where We Have Been, poem by Janis E. Laine (178)
  • One Who Waits, poem by Srhah Comers (180)
  • Hibernation's End, poem by Rachel Cavendish (180)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 23

See reactions and reviews for Blind Fool.

See reactions and reviews for Once More... In Standard.

See reactions and reviews for First Star.

See reactions and reviews for Raemose.

See reactions and reviews for Shadow Dancing.

See reactions and reviews for Addiction.

See reactions and reviews for The Merry-Go-Round.

See reactions and reviews for A View from the Tower.

See reactions and reviews for The Offer.

See reactions and reviews for Eavesdropper.

Issue 24

back cover issue #24, 1st edition by Lori Lee
front cover of issue #24, 1st edition by Lori Lee

First Time 24 was published in 1990 and contains 165 pages. The covers are by Lori Lee. Interior art by Susan K. Dundas, Caro Hedge, Kay Wells, Shellie Whild.

From the editorial:

Again, welcome to FIRST TIME 24. If it weren't for you, the avid (read - sweaty palmed perverts) there wouldn't be any more of these zines. There are times when it gets rough (like you heard 4 people are furiously making copies and passing them around). Not that I really mind people who can't afford it reading a friends zine, it's the copies that hurt business so much. Ah. well such is life. At least I know that people like the zine. Okay, sit down, it's that time again. The dreaded LOC time. You're not writing enough of them. At least every contributor in this zine should write an LOC and you know it! Shame on you!

  • Promise of the Winds by Elizabeth Scott (Spock see a Vulcan Scientist thru pon farr while he and Kirk are stranded by a dust storm. "Maybe you can talk some sense into him, Spock. They can't budge him off the planet. Of course we could just haul his behind onto the shuttle, but I'd rather he come willingly." Spock untangled long legs and rose from the briefing room chair. "Has he given a reason for his desire to stay, Captain?") (4)
  • Facade, poem by Rachel Cavendish (19)
  • Courtship by Gena Moretti (Spock decides to “court” Kirk as a bondmate. "Spock of Vulcan sat at his personal computer in his quarters, fingers steepled before him. The incident of T'Pring, and his aborted pon farr, was six months behind him. Theoretically, he had six point six years to take steps to insure his life during his next time. He hoped that would be long enough.") (20)
  • Play Me, poem by Cybel Harper (32)
  • The Promise, poem by Cybel Harper (33)
  • Roller Coaster by Telana Wells (After being trapped for two years in an A/U, Kirk and Spock return to an Enterprise where only eight days have passed. "The first sight Kirk beheld when rematerialization was complete was the broad smile of Doctor McCoy's face. "Jim!" The older man rushed forward then hesitated. "Jim?" The two men on the transporter platform hardly resembled the dashing young Captain James Kirk or his formidable Vulcan First Officer.") (34)
  • Lonely Corridors, poem by Michelle Perry (66)
  • Star Fire, poem by Cybel Harper (67)
  • Unfinished Business by Ciana Sepulveda-Mitchell (Post ST5: In the Observation Room. "Ship's evening, all is calm and quiet as I walk the corridors. The Federation representatives are safely back on Nimbus III. Scott's even got the ship nearly up to standard.") (68)
  • Risk Worth Taking by Kay Wells (While drinking, Kirk accepts McCoyʼs and Scottyʼs bet that he can seduce Spock. "Fine," Kirk laughed. "So pick someone." The doctor studied his glass, thinking. Scotty roused from his stuporous state and said quietly, "Mr. Spock." The other two men turned and stared at him mutely. Finally, McCoy said, "You can't be serious!" "Why not?" Scotty said drunkenly. "He says he can seduce anyone . . . .") (70)
  • Sing Song, poem by Kelly Graves (89)
  • The Candidate by Marion Flanders (Spock returns home with Kirk and McCoy to find a new bondmate. "As she descended the steps she found herself gripping the balustrade with more force than was seemly. Taking a deep breath, Amanda slowed her pulse slightly before returning to Sarek's side. "Do you think you will be able to find a suitable match in time?") (90)
  • Candles in the Night, poem by Rachel Cavendish (103)
  • The Hidden Room by Anna Parrish (On the Shore Leave Planet, Kirk is with Spock thinking that heʼs an android. "How perfect you are," the Kirk said. He bent down to taste the shivering body, to adore Spock with his mouth and tongue as well as his hands. "You're beautiful," he murmured, "even if you're not real.") (104)
  • Battle Grounds, poem by Rachel Cavendish (111)
  • Nightmare in Parallax by Susan K. Dundas (After 20 years a bond forms between Kirk and Spock and during a mission they are tortured by the Vians. "Captain." Lal spoke from close by now. "Are you willing to talk now?" Kirk blinked in the brightness but still could not look up, voice tight as he demanded, "Don't torture me in front of Spock. Do whatever you're going to do to me, but don't force him to watch.") (112)
  • untitled poem by Kelly Graves (151)
  • After Paradise, poem by Rachel Cavendish (151a)
  • Loaded Dice by Susan K. Dundas, Caro Hedge, Kay Wells, Shellie Whild Emily Adams (Kirk makes sure Spock knows which answers are his on a questionnaire about sexual habits. "The first step is a questionnaire. The questions must be answered honestly, but they will be completely anonymous. As the study progresses, you may be asked to participate in a number of situations and again answer questions on the results. It is guaranteed there will be no mandatory physical involvement nor will anyone be required to do anything that is against his moral character.") (152)
  • Music of the Stars, poem by Pam Smith (164)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 24

See reactions and reviews for Promise of the Winds.

See reactions and reviews for Courtship.

See reactions and reviews for Roller Coaster.

See reactions and reviews for Unfinished Business.

See reactions and reviews for Risk Worth Taking.

See reactions and reviews for The Candidate.

See reactions and reviews for Nightmare in Parallax.

See reactions and reviews for The Hidden Room.

See reactions and reviews for Loaded Dice.

Issue 25

back front cover issue #25, 1st edition by DEW: "The covers! Mesmerizing is what they are -- and I'd gladly have paid the price for then alone (yeah, even Kirk's portrait alone). His quiet, thoughtful expression -- the one we all love -- where that boyish twinkle is barely visible, is perfectly captured by DEW, Spock's look has the same introspection, laced with a trace of curiosity, probably as to what his human's thinking. And that is left to wide open speculation. Perfect!" [8]
front cover issue #25, 1st edition by DEW: "What a beautiful Kirk—Outstanding! The back cover was also VERY authentic and accurate, almost like a photograph." [9]
cover of issue #25, 2nd edition

First Time 25 was published in 1990 and contains 184 pages. The covers are by DEW. The interior art is by Dragon, Susan Dundas, and Kay Wells.

  • Such a Little Thing - Elizabeth Scott (Spockʼs 2nd Pon Farr approaches and his plans to go to Vulcan to be castrated are thwarped when Kirk goes with him. "Kirk tried to lighten his voice and realized he was holding his breath. He let it out slowly, hoping Spock hadn't noticed. "What will you do after the bonding?" Spock blinked. He thought for a second to allow Kirk the erroneous conclusion. It would certainly ease the exit.") (4)
  • A Glass of Brandy - Sharon St. James (While on shore leave, Kirk inadvertently mixes alcohol and pain medication, causing him to confess his feelings for Spock to McCoy. "As Chief Medical Officer, I thought I'd seen it all. But after the past few days, I've had a change of mind. Jim Kirk is not only the captain of this ship, he's one of my best friends. We always look forward to shore leave, especially the first night when we can have a couple of drinks, kick back a little.") (26)
  • The Waiting Game, poem by Rachel Cavendish (41)
  • Wishing Well - Karla Kelly (Leaving a diplomatic conference, Kirk and Spock walk back to their hotel and passing a wishing well, each makes a wish. "James Kirk glanced at his first officer and swallowed the comment he had been about to make. Instead, he flashed a rueful smile at the Suari Councilor and pointed out that Federation protection did not require that Suar contribute troops to a possible war necessarily. Kirk's smile might have been directed to the Suari, but his attention was focussed, as always, on Spock.") (42)
  • Candles in the Dark - Rachel Cavendish (p. 49) (poem)
  • Beautiful Truth - Jean Gabriel (After almost telling Kirk of his love while melded with Kollos, Spock becomes distant and asks for a transfer. "The Vulcan's face broke out into a big, beautiful smile, momentarily stunning the captain. Kirk stared dumbly. You know, he's quite a handsome man. And he's looking right at me, almost as if…") (50)
  • The Light, poem by Cybel Harper (73)
  • Antidote - Kay Wells (On a landing party Kirk inhales a drug that makes people believe their greatest wish is true, so he returns thinking he and Spock are lovers. " . . . was very interesting, wouldn't you say, Dr. McCoy?" James Kirk was commenting as he materialized onto the transporter pad. "Indeed," remarked the doctor, sneaking a look across the chamber at the ship's first officer. Refusing to rise to the bait with a rejoinder, Spock merely raised a brown, not turning to look at either man.") (75)
  • Thin Ice, poem by Rachel Cavendish (99)
  • Bed Song - Sarah B. Leonard (Arriving before their reservations, Kirk and Spock must take rooms in a cheaper hotel, where Spockʼs squeaking bed keeps Kirk awake all night. "No, no, no. Get up and get out of here now. Before he wakes up. He didn't move. And he knew he wouldn't move. He knew he would sit here forever, for all eternity, staring at the curve of Spock's shoulder, the soft, shiny black hair, the elegant pointed ears, the shadows of Spock's spine that disappeared under the sheet.") (100)
  • Broken Bonds - Scott Hunter ("My friends . . . . " Kirk's words were cut off abruptly. "They're all dead. No one could have survived that explosion." Feeling the tug on his shoulder, Kirk let himself be pulled to his feet.) (118)
  • Unwilling Dies the Rose - Janis E. Laine (Kirk is still enthralled with Helen Noel when they leave the Tantalus colony, and it soon begins to undermine his command. "Ship's log, stardate 2757.6. First Officer Spock recording. It has been brought to my attention that no log entry has been made in the past 49.7 standard hours. A summary of the ship's activities . . . has been prepared as an addendum to this entry.") (146)
  • Book Mark, poem by Rachel Cavendish (184)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 25

See reactions and reviews for A Glass of Brandy.

See reactions and reviews for Unwilling Dies the Rose.

See reactions and reviews for Broken Bonds.

See reactions and reviews for Bed Song.

See reactions and reviews for Antidote.

See reactions and reviews for Beautiful Truth.

See reactions and reviews for Such a Little Thing.

See reactions and reviews for Wishing Well.

Issue 26

front cover issue #26, 1st edition by Chris Soto: "Not only are these covers two of the best, most detailed portraits I've ever seen, but they so accurately reflect our heroes from the fifth movie. I'm amazed." [10]
back cover issue #26, 1st edition by Chris Soto: "Again, her photographic art just makes you shake your head in wonder, how can anyone get such perfect likenesses. I've repeated my words or praise for her work until those poor words are in rags. May her drawing materials and abilities last forever!" [11]

First Time 26 was published in September 1990 and contain 167 pages.

  • To Have It All - Judith Coventry. (Kirk returns home for his motherʼs wedding. "The older man stared down at his folded hands a moment then pushed to his feet. "You won't believe me if I tell you." "Dammit, Bones." Kirk's agitation rose. McCoy turned. "Let me rephrase that. Jim, I don't think I'm going to tell you." He smiled impishly.")
  • Whispers - Karla Kelly. (After VʼGer, Kirk proclaims his feelings when he and Spock have to share a cabin on the Enterprise. "Kirk's whispered confession caressed the Vulcan, gently stirring the embers of hope. Through slitted eyes, Spock watched his captain watching him. There are no words to describe your beauty, Spock thought, taking great pleasure in the play of light and shadow over the expressive face. What can I do? How can I say the words you need to hear?")
  • Pandora's Box - Telana Wells. (A keepsake box from McCoyʼs future contains “movies” showing Kirk and Spock as a couple. "James Kirk rounded the corner in corridor 4B at his usual determined pace, almost plowing over his Chief Medical Officer. "Bones, keep to the right!" Kirk sternly reminded him of the procedure to avoid such collisions while firmly clutching the doctor's arms to keep him upright. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I think so," McCoy grumbled, righting himself. "Where are you going in such a hurry, anyway?" "Science lab. Spock should have the preliminary report on that object we recovered orbiting Alpha Epsilon V.")
  • Watchfire - Susan K. Dundas. (When abducted from a planet in the Neutral Zone, Kirk and Spock bond to keep Kirkʼs mind safe from their Romulan captor. "Kirk sat in the chill of the little room. Arguments, pro and con, struggled against each other. He knew a little about Vulcan bonding and marriage practices. Teasingly his mind immediately taunted him with a vision of a sexual encounter with his best friend. He was not disgusted by the concept of sex between them, but neither had he ever actually considered the possibility. Now he was...")
  • If Ever I Would Leave You - Kay Wells. (A/U: A year into the 2nd mission, Kirk & McCoy go to a Vulcan awards ceremony, not realizing that Spock has left Gol and will be there, reigniting Kirkʼs pain at the loss of Spock and his undeclared feelings for him. "Kirk hated the new uniforms. Not only were they uncomfortable, but the dull bluish-gray was just that dull. About as dull and meaningless as his life had become. One year into a second five-year mission and all his former enthusiasm was drained, to be replaced by a lethargic and unenthusiastic concession to routine. He rarely thought of anything more than just getting through another day. "You still miss him, don't you?" the doctor said softly, bringing the captain back to the present. "I think I always will," Kirk responded, unable to hide his deep sadness.")
  • Time Enough - Robin Hood. (After the death of Sybok, Kirk and Spock reflect on their relationship while resting in Spockʼs cabin. "We've talked about Gol before. It's long behind us. If there is blame, then it's both ours and we can call it a draw. And we've talked about Genesis as well. You had no choice in that matter. You didn't ask to . . . die." "But I left you." The simple sentence was a soft wail. Kirk rebutted swiftly. "And you could say that I left you by letting you go.")
  • POETRY by Rachel Cavendish, Ciana Mitchell.
  • COVERS by Chris Soto.
  • ART by Susan K. Dundas, Kay Wells.

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 26

See reactions and reviews for Watchfire.

See reactions and reviews for If Ever I Would Leave You.

See reactions and reviews for Time Enough.

See reactions and reviews for To Have It All.

See reactions and reviews for Whispers.

See reactions and reviews for Pandora's Box.

[zine]: I just picked up FT 26 and SSII at a con and felt compelled to comment. I'll comment on the bothersome story first in FT 26. The Wanderer [sic], by Susan Dundas, disturbed me immensely. It was far too well written, as is frequently the case, and the story line far too hurtful. The story was too rough for me. So be it, in general. The First Times are more gentle. I'm certain that this is a one time aberration of the editor since the rest of the Zine was the sweet, well-written first time stories I've come to expect from merry Men Press. To Have It All from a new writer, Judith Coventry, is a delightful trip home to Earth. A story of Kirk's mother's second marriage and Spock's appearance there. If Ever I Would Leave You by Kay Wells is a good example of First Time stories. Strong, well-written and very steamy. Ms. Wells is fast becoming a main stay in KIS fandom, and certainly one of my favorites. Time Enough by Jane Fury is a Star Trek V story, which leaves you with a better understanding of the movie and a very warm spot in your heart. But all are surpassed by my favorite story, Pandora's Box. An innovative story, nicely-written, by Telana Wells, that delves into Kirk's and Spock's life in another universe via old holograms. Or is it another universe????? ... Poetry, and as the editor states truly 'kleenex poetry' by Oana Mitchell and Rachel Cavendish framed by exquisite Chris Soto covers enclose another good example of First Time. [12]

[cover art]: Absolutely magnificent, especially the portrait of Kirk. She has captured the mature man just perfectly. I know nothing of line and form, shape or texture, but I know when I see a look in the eye that says Kirk, that says strength and vulnerability, and especially maturity. This is the man who has grown, and learned from his mistakes, someone who is willing to be more open than he was in the past, but still has the steel strength of will from his youth. That's what those eyes and that face say to me. This is the best older Kirk portrait I have seen, and I really envy the lucky person who has the original hanging on their wall. Interested in a trade? [13]

[covers]: What’s the first thing you see of a zine? The covers, of course -- and these are spectacular! Spock exudes stoicism from the front cover, showing the maturity and the uniform of the post-Genesis era. Ahhh, but the back.... Here’s Captain Kirk at his very, very best! The Eisenhower style jacket that we got to see so little of just does wonderful things for him, especially in the talented hands of Chris Soto. Oh, Chris, I hope that some way you know how much your legacy means to us all. I love Kirk’s hair in this portrait. I want to touch it! And it’s so realistic I know exactly how it would feel, soft but springy, thick and just a bit unruly. Great stuff! [14]

[covers]: FIRST TIME 26 has a wonderful Chris Soto matching set of covers done in 1990. These are pen and ink portraits which include the shoulders, and the time is somewhere ST IV to VI, I believe. The front cover is Spock, facing to the right, looking straight at the viewer with one eyebrow raised. The back cover is Kirk looking at the front cover of Spock since he is looking to the left. This Kirk is gorgeous and is quite realistic, very true to life. Anyone looking at it without the clue of the uniform would know it's Shatner. Spock is well done, too. The two covers alone are worth the price of the zine. [15]

Issue 27

First Time 27 was published in December 1990 and contains 194 pages.

back cover of issue #27, Marilyn Cole. The front and back covers illustrate the story, "A Wing and a Prayer." -- "... for those of you who haven't already seen FT 27's covers, they are wonderful. Spock on Pegasus i.e. Kirk reflects the power and energy of both rider and horse." [16]
front cover of issue #27, Marilyn Cole: "Marilyn and I see eye to eye on the way a man's body should look, especially as long as you're dreaming and can have everything you want. Although, come to think of it, with the model she uses, she doesn't have to do much dreaming or compromising. She does a mighty fine horse." [17]
  • The Best Man - Kay Wells (p. 4-35). (Spock has Sarek find him a new bondmate after TʼPringʼs rejection and asks Kirk and McCoy to accompany him as “guaranteers” when his warrior bonding is to take place. "Striding purposefully across Sickbay, James Kirk walked into the office of his CMO and appropriated a glass and a bottle before sinking unceremoniously and uninvited into a chair.")
cover issue #27, 2nd edition
  • Academy - Susan Peacock (p. 36-44). (While teaching at the academy, Spock comes to aid of a young cadet being beaten. "It was very quiet, a welcome relief to the still figure sitting in the dark amphitheater, alone. There were so many people . . . correction . . . so many humans around during the day that his ability to meditate was severely compromised. He should be able to concentrate, no matter what the distraction.")
  • Games of Chance - Karla Kelly (p. 45-49). (Death and Luck take turns wagering on Kirk and Spockʼs lives. "Lady Luck smiled at her companion. Taking the dice, she rolled and turned to the 'board.' On the planet below, Spock shouted at his captain. "DUCK!" The crude, three-blade weapon whizzed within inches of the blond head. Kirk threw his first officer a look o gratitude and turned back to the fight.")
  • The Proper Motivation - Judith Coventry (p. 50-91). (McCoy is kidnapped while he and Kirk are on shoreleave but the investigating officer is paying more attention to Kirk than Spock is comfortable with. "Kirk rolled to his side; he was going to be sick. Without glancing at the person lying beside him he said, quickly, "outta my way Bones." Pushed to his feet, and headed for the bathroom on wobbly legs.")
  • A Wing and a Prayer - Charlotte Frost (p. 94-125). (When Kirk is rude to a merchant while on leave with Spock, the man turns him into a winged horse and itʼs up to Spock to find a way to return him to his true form. "Jenrae's bulky frame sank into the chair behind the counter. Two more minutes. Then he could close and begin his vacation. The distant clouds had promised a storm all day and business had been slow, de spite having a Federation starship orbiting above. But Jenrae's disappointment at the small number of customers wasn't as great as his anticipation of returning to his family's castle. There would be much work to do, but it was work he enjoyed. His whole family had taken pride for generations in the raising of the Bulos.")
  • One Tin Soldier - novella - Ciana Mitchell (p. 127-193). (Kirk is raped and tortured, and unable to deal with the trauma, finds himself avoiding touch and tempting fate while old memories surface of a previous violation. "He forced himself to sit up. The stone wall felt cold against his sore back. Every muscle ached, every limb was covered with bruises. His hair was matted with dirt and stiff with dried blood. Since the last beating, the pounding in his head had not stopped.")
  • POETRY by Rachel Cavendish, Cybel Harper, Susan Peacock
  • COVERS by Marilyn Cole.
  • ART by Emily Adams, DEW, Dragon, Chris Soto

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 27

See reactions and reviews for A Wing and a Prayer.

See reactions and reviews for One Tin Soldier.

See reactions and reviews for The Proper Motivation.

See reactions and reviews for Games of Chance.

See reactions and reviews for Academy.

See reactions and reviews for The Best Man.

[art on page 89a by Chris Soto]: This picture falls into a category of art which I like to call "Pillow Pictures', I sure wish I could add this work to my collection. I've mentioned before that I know so very little about art that I feel quite awkward commenting on it. But occasionally I try if a piece is really striking. I guess I like this picture because Spock looks so much like himself. His expression is a combination of peace and intense incredulity, as if he's saying to himself, 'How is it possible for me to love so much?" The intensity of his feeling is almost painful. Kirk is thinking much the same, but he's expressing the thought in his typically more flamboyant fashion. Anyway, they're both in the grip of strong emotion, and the way they're holding on to one another reinforces that impression. I find a curious dichotomy in this picture. My first impression was 'Oh, good, another peaceful pillow picture.'... It was only upon closer examination that I saw that the peace which I expected through the setting, (the two of then in bed holding one another) was belied by the intensity of the emotions conveyed by their expressions. There is tension between the expectation and the reality, there is tension in the emotion displayed, and there is even tension in the way each of the men is experiencing their emotion alone, with eyes closed, even though they are touching intimately. I wonder if this is what the artist intended?... Unfortunately, some of the effect of this piece of art is lost because there is text printed on the other side of the page and it bleeds through quite obviously. I understand that there night be technical reasons for printing art in such a way, but I wish an exception could have been made for this rather exceptional artwork. [18]

[art]: ...for those of you who haven't already seen FT 27's covers, they are wonderful. Spock on Pegasus i.e. Kirk reflects the power and energy of both rider and horse. [19]

[art on 43a]: Love this illo of the aovie Kirk and Spock being 'cozy' with their clothes on. Kirk's expression is particularly revealing. [20]

[art on 89a]: This illo of Spock sleeping on top of Kirk defines what K/S means to me. I believe it is the most heart-warming illo I've ever seen. How can words say aore than their expressions do? [21]

Issue 28

back cover issue #28, 1st edition by DEW
front cover issue #28, 1st edition by DEW
cover issue #28, 2nd edition

First Time 28 was published in 1991 (apparently in June, the same time as "First Time" #29) and contains 189 pages. The covers are by DEW and the interior art is by Fiona Graves.

  • When He Smiles - Roberta Haga (Spockʼs statement of “being happy” after Omicron Ceti cause Kirk to rethink his idea that Spock might love him. "I have nothing to say about Omicron Ceti Three, Captain. Except that . . . for the first time in my life . . . I was happy. Kirk practically ran from the bridge.") (4)
  • False Starts - D.A. Martin (Twice, Spock removes the memories from Kirk of their lovemaking because of Kirkʼs reactions of guilt and shame. "Jim Kirk rolled over in bed, reaching to still the soft-voiced, but insistent, alarm advising him it was time to rise and shine. A moan of pain slipped past his lips before he was really awake enough to feel the stiffness of abused muscles. It took a few moments to remember the cause, a workout with Spock the night before.") (14)
  • The Long Road, poem by Robin Hood (25)
  • Love Letters in the Sand - Gena Moretti (While McCoy sleeps, Kirk and Spock declare their love by writing in the sand when on shore leave together. "The three of them, Kirk, Spock and McCoy, were indulging in one of life's lesser, major pleasures: playing hookey from work. "What's in the water?" "Numerous small aquatic creatures. Jim, please do not go swimming. We are not familiar with their eating habits, or this ocean's tides and the bottom undercurrents along here. Can you not just enjoy a walk along the beach and lying on the sand?" Kirk smiled into the serious brown eyes. "Of course I can. You will join me, won't you, first officer?") (26)
  • A Perfect Mate - Anne McClean (Kirkʼs inability to be faithful causes Spock to call off their affair after leaving Flintʼs planet. "Yes. She had been . . . beautiful. Even he, a Vulcan in his despair, had been forced to recognize that fact. And Kirk had found her so…") (32)
  • When All Else Fails, poem by Kelley Graves (64)
  • No Win Situation, poem by Kelley Graves (65)
  • Lovers Embrace, poem by Kelley Graves (65)
  • Talisman - Theresa Kyle (Kirk and Spock meet in Pikeʼs home before Kirk takes command and remember back to their affair as cadets. "Jim Kirk didn't have second sight, like his best friend Gary Mitchell, but he knew from the look on Morrow's face that the dream he'd dreamed since he was eight years old had come true.") (66)
  • The Best of Me - Jennifer Cobbing (After the Klingon Peace Conference,Kirk thinks back to when he first met David and when he and Spock first came together. "We are on course to Science Station Mendel following a distress signal received a short time ago. Communications were so garbled we were unable to ascertain the exact reason for the signal, but there appears to have been an explosion aboard the station and there are casualties.") (100)
  • The Decision - Jean Gabriel (After Sybokʼs death, Kirk asks Spock why he never told him about his brother. "Kirk shook his head in disbelief as he sat in his cabin. After everything that's happened and what he said on the bridge of the Klingon ship, I was sure he would come to me. Drifting in his mind, Kirk remembered his joy at seeing Spock in the gunner's chair. He remembered being held in the strong grip. He remembered…") (152)
  • Random Words, poem by Robin Hood (167)
  • When Tomorrow Comes - Charlotte Frost (Kirk is about to tell Spock of his love when Spock is abducted. When heʼs found, Kirk is afraid that Spock would now be repulsed by that love. "Kirk stepped into his cabin, grateful for the hiss of the door that signaled privacy. It had been difficult getting away from her, but he'd finally managed. Princess Duora was a woman accustomed to getting what she wanted. And she had wanted the famous starship captain, if only for a night.") (168)
  • When He Smiles, poem by Roberta Haga (189)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 28

See reactions and reviews for The Decision.

See reactions and reviews for The Best of Me.

See reactions and reviews for A Perfect Mate.

See reactions and reviews for Love Letters in the Sand.

See reactions and reviews for False Starts.

See reactions and reviews for When He Smiles.

See comments for When Tomorrow Comes.

See reactions and reviews for Talisman.

Issue 29

front cover issue #29, 1st edition by Caren Parnes: "These covers are lovely. They are Caren Parnes' usual "photographic" style, but the backgrounds are black which I don't think is unusual for her. The front shows a young version of our lovers; the back, an older version. I prefer the back as Kirk really looks quite handsome in this one. These are the same covers as on THE POETS AND I. They deserve repeating.
back cover issue #29, 1st edition by Caren Parnes -- "These lovely covers were done to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Star Trek and published in 1991. If you are familiar with this artist‘s work you know how fabulous she is. I don‘t know what I can say about these pieces except these are more of the glorious same. The front cover shows us a very young captain and first officer just starting out on their legendary journey. Behind them rides their ship, truly a silver lady. From the innocence depicted on their faces, they don‘t know yet where this command will take them, what hardships they will endure, what triumphs they will share, what trials will turn trust into love. The back cover gives us Kirk and Spock as admiral and captain, circa Star Trek II. The viewer can see the experiences—both good and bad—that lights their eyes, the quiet comfort they take in each other, and I fancy I can see the love they have found as well. Behind them is the refitted Enterprise. I wish I could reach into the picture and tell them that though there will be grief to come, they will also find each other again. Thank you for these, Caren. [22]
cover issue #29, 2nd edition

First Time 29 was published in June 1991 and contains 189 pages. The front and back covers were originally used for the front and back of the zine The Poets and I in 1986.

From the editorial:

29, eh, and rising? (intriguing image). I'll be mailing out FT 28 this week, still getting ready for the 25th anniversary in June, with every intention to be well out of the path of other editors thundering into the printer and working on Playfellows II.

Hopefully, you'll notice covers that you may or may not have seen before. If you're a poetry buff, then you'll have seen them, (but one more time won't hurt any of us) if you haven't, aren't theypretty? Caren Parnes at her best. I throw away tremendous amotints of covers (printers charge regardless of amount run) and I've never been able to throw these away. And since they were used on 'THE POETS & I', in a limited run, and I couldn't bring myself to trash them and this is for the 25th anniversary and the pictures span from the old series into the movies.... Oh, well, you get the idea, don't you? (Perverts you might be but not stupid) And we can't forget the talented (short), feisty (bitchy), busy (frantic) Kay Wells, whose lovely art within adds so much. In fact, you won't be able to forget her (at least not for a while), her Mirror novel, GAMBIT is in my hands and will also go to printer next month, (just think of it as a dearth of Kirk's and Spock's.) A story of both universe's. Haven't you ever wondered what happened to the Mirror pair? Well, it's twenty years in the futvire and you're going to get to know!

Let's not forget the new authors within. Anne McClean (dear Kirk, I hope I have her name spelled correctly!) She is a very talented new baby writer and as such will certainly expect your comments.

You know what means. You either have to write me or subscribe to TLC. Get the addresses from FT 27. (What? You don't have it!!! -- Go stand in the comer and think of a nude Spock for 15 minutes) And of course, you must never forget the ah... older, wiser, aging writers that have been delighting you since you found K/S heaven. If you don't comment, then there will be NO zines! GET BUSY AND WRITE AN LOC! You can send it in the form of a review to a number of addzines, you can send it to me but you have to do something, (trying your own talents might help -- hint, hint.)

There are other new writers within: which brings me to this months (okay, this hour's) screw up: Will anyone who knows two women whose pen names are Lynn Thomas and Elizabeth Kay, please let me know who the hell they ready are so I can get them their 'trib' copies??????

God, I do love fandom.... Sigh.

Okay, enough drivel....

  • Wildest Dreams by Elizabeth Kay and Lynn Thomas. (Kirk seduces Spock on the Shore Leave planet, unaware that there are programming problems and that the Spock he seduced is the real one. "James Kirk beamed down to the shore leave planet alone. He'd had no intention of staying for leave, merely to survey the various beam-down points for the crew. He signed heavily. He didn't often argue with Spock, but when he did, it was always a doozy.") (4)
  • art by Dragon (The editor's note in the table of contents: "sorry about the sign, the printer struck again!) (10a)
  • Three D, poem by J. Mercedes (16)
  • Dance Lessons, poem by Rachel Cavendish (17)
  • A Glitch in the System by D.A. Marsh. (The Enterprise causes malfunctions in her systems in order to bring Kirk and Spock together. "Half-opened eyes did not see how the dim light cast shadows to the right, making the figure on the bed seem larger than life. It was as well. Such a sight would only add bitterness to frustration as sweaty fingers finally gave up the effort and moved away from organs that refused to swell.") (18)
  • art by DEW (32)
  • Star Child, poem by Annie Fitzgibbons (33)
  • A Thought in the Dark by Jamie Erin Mason. (Through their link, Spock reads Kirkʼs desire to be dominated and so goes to his room to oblige him. "Kirk tosses and turned restlessly. Unbidden, the day's events returned to his mind. Spock's long fingers closing on the enemy's shoulders in a painful pinch that had the being screaming before it had mercifully fainted; Spock's powerful grip locking on a monstrous creature's neck and then severing it with an audible crack, accompanied by the grotesque grimace of agony. Why did his mind play these episodes again and again? Every time his mind's eye saw them, he grew increasingly fascinated, like a voyeur watching someone else's private eroticism.") (34)
  • Mind's Eye by Jean Gabriel. (Kirkʼs partial amnesia after hitting his head turns out to be hiding a night together with Spock to which he had reacted with guilt and shame. "Then, there's nothing physically wrong with me?" Kirk sat up on the edge of the table where he had been lying for the past thirty minutes or so while his CMO and friend, Leonard McCoy, tried to discover the cause of a problem plaguing the young Enterprise captain. "Jim," McCoy finally said, turning to star into the worried eyes. "I've checked you out for just about everything that might be causing this and I have to tell you that, while I can't be one hundred percent sure, there seems to be no physical cause for your impotence.") (38)
  • Heart's Whole, poem by J. Mercedes (62)
  • Seasons Change, poem by Cybel Harper (63)
  • Rumors by Karla Kelly (novella). Includes the trope Double Ridges. (Terrorist activities on Starbase 12 interrupt a planned “honeymoon” by Kirk and Spock and then cause a blackout through the entire base. "Damn! Damn! Damn! The captain of the Enterprise hit the bag again and again, oblivious to the stares of the few crew members who were working out in the gym at that hour. Why did I do it? Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! The heavy bag swayed under the onslaught. Sweat ran down Kirk's back; damp hair clung to his skull, dark brown against his skin. If only I wouldn't think of it. If only I could forget.") (64)
  • art by Raven (75a)
  • art by DEW (87a)
  • All Things, poem by Sarah B. Leonard (149)
  • A Perfect Arrangement by Anne McClean. (A soon to be appointed command team are on the Enterprise to study Kirk and Spock but turn out to have plans of “swapping” command partners. "James Kirk was in love. To anyone who knew him, it was blindingly obvious: his bouncy stride, his ferocious joviality, all spoke of a man totally content with his lot. But more than that, to those who knew him well, it was also clear that hebelieved this one might be special the relationship he had been searching for, perhaps all of his life.") (150)
  • Gentle Knight, poem by Anne Fitzgibbons (188)
  • Players, poem by Emily Ross (inside back cover)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 29

See reactions and reviews for A Perfect Arrangement.

See reactions and reviews for A Thought in the Dark.

See reactions and reviews for Wildest Dreams.

See reactions and reviews for Rumors.

See reactions and reviews for Mind's Eye.

See reactions and reviews for A Glitch in the System.

[art by DEW]: Oh, another pillow picture! I love them in general and this one is a particularly fine example. They’re both asleep this time, Kirk on his back, Spock on his side towards the viewer. Spock has the tiniest little smile on his face, and mussed bangs too, so we know exactly what has been going on before they succumbed to weariness! The view is from the waist up so the emphasis is where it should be.... They’re having sweet dreams. [23]

Issue 30

First Time 30 was published in 1991 and contains 183 pages. The covers are by Kay Wells. The inside art is by Fiona Graves, Billie Phillips, Sara B. Leonard, C. Meyers (NOT Christine Meyers), Kay Wells.

back cover issue #30 by Kay Wells -- "What can I say? This portrait of a young Kirk is without a doubt the best I have ever seen by an artist, in any zine. It is extraordinary, absolutely riveting to look at. The man's personality literally looks out to you from the page. I have enjoyed some of this artist's previous work, but this drawing surpasses by light years anything else I have seen by her. There just aren't enough superlatives to describe it." -- [24]
-- "It is a pencil drawing of Kirk and Spock from ST:TMP with the movie Enterprise on the bottom third of the illo. The likenesses are very accurate, the faces show the maturity of the older versions of K and S, yet there is a youthfulness and a vitality that shines through. The soft pencil technique makes it take on a dreamy effect as if looking at the drawing through a fine gauze. Kirk's eyes in particular are very lifelike staring straight at you, command persona intermingled with the sensitivity of the inner man. I was also very impressed with the rendering of the Enterprise. I have noticed that unless its an adventure genzine geared toward males and the more technically minded, few fan artists (and certainly in K/S) present detailed representations of space ships. Ms. Wells has done a wonderful job here. The ship is rendered in fine detail and proportion, it enhances the above portrayal of Kirk and Spock. I am continually impressed at the quality of art covers found on this zine and find the front cover and back DEW covers to be some of her best work. Thank you, Kay Wells, for helping keep the boys' love 'alive' for me." -- [25]
  • Fantasy's Fire - Judith Coventry. (Having declared their love, Kirkʼs reaction to the events on Gamma Hydra 4 threaten to separate him from Spock. "The wide grin lit up Kirk's face. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Mister Spock, but that sounds like a roundabout way of saying you love me, too." The only sign of Vulcan nervousness was an almost imperceptible hard swallow, but as usual, Kirk didn't miss it. "I . . . . " Spock cleared his throat.") (4)
  • The Puzzle - Karla Kelly. (After Kirk turns down the advances of a desirable female, Spock meditates on what this might mean in regards to Jimʼs relationship with him. "Spock sighed as the Argar stepped off the transporter platform. The look she had given the captain on first seeing him was unmistakable. Unable to see Kirk's answering glance, Spock could only assume history would repeat itself and that a physical joining between the two were inevitable. Hiding the pain that situation always caused behind his Vulcan demeanor, Spock politely followed the captain and Argar Gui from the room.") (18)
  • First Command, poem by Kay Wells (25)
  • Humbug - Elizabeth Kay, Lynn Thomas. (Kirk dreams of losing Spock while fighting for his life in sickbay from a viral infection. "James Kirk pressed his face against the bark of a rough-hewn tree limb, gasping for breath. His copper- brown hair in a tangle, falling into his eyes. He fought to banish the nightmare. It had plagued him for weeks on end, and now it seemed to grow and haunt his waking hours as well.") (26)
  • Measure of Friendship - Penny Wise. (While on sickleave together, Kirk and Spock attempt a brotherhood bond. "It's amazing how much we take for granted in friendships," McCoy drawled as they chatted comfortably in his quarters. "Expectations and assumptions we would never think to make of strangers of even just acquaintances. Take you and your assumptions about Spock, Jim.") (52)
  • The Oldest Story - Anne McClean. (After McCoy hears Kirkʼs confession of his love and desire for Spock, he fears for Kirkʼs well being when it turns out that Spock denies his own desire. "Would you care to order another refreshment, gentlemen?" With perfect obsequiousness, the most experienced waiter employed by the Andor Palace hovered nervously over the table at which the two Starfleet officers were seated, attempting to disguise his profound wish that he had not been the one to draw this task.") (62)
  • Catnip - Telana Wells. (After leaving Pike on Talos 4, Kirk has trouble forgiving Spock. "The tall Vulcan picked up his tray from the serving line and turned, relieved that no one seemed to notice his hesitation. His usual seat was unoccupied and available, and his usual dinner companions were already seated. Therein lay the reason for his indecision.") (100)
  • “Animal Passion” - Ellen O'Neil. (“While investigating the disappearances of Federation citizens, Kirk and Spock are turned into a lion and panther by the woman responsible. ‘Of course,’ McCoy mischievously added, pitching his voice low, ‘even the stud I used to be was never the stud some people are now.’ He poked Kirk in the ribs with a friendly elbow. Kirk smiled at the teasing, then darted an uncomfortable look at Spock.”) (134)
  • The Summons - Emily Adams. (On a diplomatic mission, Kirk suddenly feels drawn back to Earth, where he finds Spock entering pon farr. "Standing just beyond the door's sensors, Kirk scanned the room. Nostalgia washed over him as he took in the large lecture hall, empty now except for a slim figure bent over a table at the front gathering papers. How often had he entered this same room, arms filled with books and papers, mind overflowing with the now trivial facts of his schooling? He put the bittersweet memories aside and stepped further into the room.") (160)
  • The Legend, poem by Robin Hood (182)
  • When I look in Your Eyes, poem by Sue Cameron (183)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 30

See reactions and reviews for The Oldest Story.

See reactions and reviews for Fantasy's Fire.

See reactions and reviews for Measure of Friendship.

See reactions and reviews for The Puzzle.

See reactions and reviews for Catnip.

See reactions and reviews for Animal Passion.

See reactions and reviews for The Summons.

See reactions and reviews for Humbug.

[zine]: This is a K/S zine, edited by Robin Hood, and follows the established format for the series, containing short stories depicting various possibilities for the beginning of a relationship between Kirk and Spock. There are 8 stories in this issue, and they present a wide range of options, from pan farr to a semi-humorous piece in which an alien turns Kirk and Spock into a lion and a panther respectively. The time range covers from Kirk's first taking over command of the Enterprise, to his days as a Admiral. The stories are well crafted and constructed; I thought the most effective was 'The Oldest Story', by Anne McClean, in which Kirk confides in McCoy the progress of his long-standing and unreciprocated love for Spock, beginning with his first day on the ship and finding a resolution after the episode on Sarpeidon. The author very cleverly weaves in the events of the five-year mission, and handles a difficult form of construction with conviction. The zine also contains 4 pieces of poetry and 8 illustrations. The covers, by Kay Wells, are very striking, a beautiful rendition of the TMP Kirk and Spock with the Enterprise on the front, and a delightful portrait of Kirk on the back. [27]


  1. ^ from The K/S Press #45
  2. ^ from The K/S Press #45
  3. ^ from The K/S Press #45
  4. ^ from The K/S Press #45
  5. ^ from The K/S Press #45
  6. ^ from The K/S Press #45
  7. ^ from The K/S Press #20
  8. ^ from The LOC Connection #25
  9. ^ from The LOC Connection #20
  10. ^ from The LOC Connection #23
  11. ^ from The LOC Connection #29
  12. ^ from Datazine #63
  13. ^ from The LOC Connection #30
  14. ^ from The K/S Press #32
  15. ^ from The K/S Press #44
  16. ^ from The LOC Connection #26
  17. ^ from The LOC Connection #29
  18. ^ from The LOC Connection #32
  19. ^ from The LOC Connection #26
  20. ^ from The LOC Connection #26
  21. ^ from The LOC Connection #26
  22. ^ from The K/S Press #142
  23. ^ from The K/S Press #46
  24. ^ from The LoC Connection #34
  25. ^ from The LoC Connection #34
  26. ^ Chris Soto in The LoC Connection #34
  27. ^ from IDIC #22