First Time (Star Trek: TOS zine)/Issues 1-10

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Issue 1

First Time 1 was published in 1984 and has 187 pages. It was nominated for a K/Star Award.

The front cover is by Gayle F. The back cover and interior art is by Vel Jaeger.

front cover of issue #1, 1st edition, Gayle F -- "Tenderness and passion, beautiful." [1] From A 2007 Interview with Robin Hood: "After paying $1600 to get the front cover of FT 1 printed and more for the zine itself, I looked for another printer." Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.
front cover issue #1, 3rd edition
back cover of issue #1, Vel Jaeger
From the editorial:
This is the first time I've ever tackled anything so difficult, so time consuming, so boring to my friends and so damn much fun.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the work included in this 'Zine' and I want to thank all of the contributers who were all without a doubt the nicest of people to deal with.

Remember,without them, we have nothing to read, so send letters of congratulations to me, I'll be happy to send them on. If you have any words of praise for the 'Zine', I would appreciate hearing them. (Obviously!)

On the other hand, please send your hate mail to David you-know-who. He needs it, I don't! One thing of importance: There is an abundance of poetry included. I feel that you would rather read than see graphics (however pretty) at the end of each story.
  • Two Solitudes - Alayne Gelfand (During a diplomatic reception, Kirk and Spock realize their feelings for each other. "Spock watched Kirk from across the room as he made his way through the crowd, greeting people, stopping for short conversations. As he progressed, Spock saw a pattern develop; people were moving back as Kirk passed, giving him space without conscious consideration. It was obvious that no one saw Kirk's 'do not touch' sign, no one that is except a very astute Vulcan.") (4)
  • Now, poem by Rhea Gowan
  • Newly Brave, poem by Kathy Tipton (15)
  • Sure, poem by Chris Waken
  • The Gift, poem by Rhea Gown (16)
  • Do Not Grieve, poem by Wendy Rathbone (17)
  • Inspirational Performance - Jaki Van Colan (Humor: "You can't do that! My fans will never stand for it!" said Jamie, tossing his head proudly. "Well I'd sure hate to lose three regular customers," retorted Derrold. "But that's the way it'll have to be if you don't shape up." He slammed the door on his way out.") (18)
  • Vacant Chair, poem by Lisa Joas (23)
  • Into the Sunshine - Sharlee Scott (Kirk and an amnesiac Spock are captured by Romulans, who, unaware of their identity, think Kirk is Spockʼs slave.) (24)
  • No Win Proposition, poem by Pam Smith (38)
  • Glory Gone, poem by Robin Hood (39)
  • Portions of Our Hearts - Tere Ann Roderick (After Deneva, Kirk must resolve his guilt over his nephewʼs and Spockʼs injuries. "Even a Vulcan needs help to recover from something like that he needs your help. ou're the one he allows to see his emotional side. He needs you." "Does he?" Kirk wondered. "Even after this? I failed him once already. Do you honestly think I can make him forget that? I can't.") (40)
  • Affair with a Unicorn, poem by Wendy Rathbone (63)
  • Meditation, poem by Alayne Gelfand (64)
  • At Night All Cats are Gray - Carolyn McTarrell (After the Babel Conference, Kirk forces Spock to explain what he would value over his fatherʼs life. "Well, I'm for sneaking out of here! What say we get back to our cabins?" He stroked his abused stomach gingerly, avoiding the healing knife wound on his side. "I'll order us something easy to eat and we can talk." Kirk's eyes softened as they registered Spock's continued unease. He knew something had happened when he'd been unconscious.") (66)
  • Antonyms, poem by Wendy Rathbone (75)
  • Life's Twilight, poem by Robin Hood (76)
  • Falling Tears, poem by Robin Hood (77)
  • Though Some May Wonder - Natasha Solten (Kirk helps Spock deal with the harrassment of crewmembers regarding his sexuality.) (78)
  • Music, poem by Susan Catlin (92)
  • Winter Wonder, poem by Lisa Joas (93)
  • Death Takes a Holiday - Susan Catlin (Alternate death scene to ST:TWOK) (94)
  • Why?, poem by Robin Hood (95)
  • Fantasies Dwell in Darkness - Lisa Joas (While sharing consciousness, Chapel sees Spockʼs fantasies and his love for Kirk. "Meld with me and save us both time!" Kirk was impatient. He wanted Spock now! Again terror threatened the Vulcan and he trembled.") (96)
  • Our Names in Dust, poem by Wendy Rathbone (106)
  • A Logical Man, poem by Wendy Rathbone
  • A Gift of Murder, poem by Dovya Blacque (107)
  • Is This Paradise, Or What? - A. T. Bush (While camping on the Shore Leave planet together, Kirk thinks itʼs an android Spock he makes love to. "He ran from the grotto and onto the beach and ran and ran until burning lungs and stabbing pains forced a halt. Finally collapsing, he beat clenched fists into the sand, physically venting his despair and frustration.") (108)
  • Desert Souls, poem by Pam Sith (135)
  • Shadows Beckon, Sunlight Calls - Kathy Tipton (Death visits a suicidal Kirk after Spockʼs eath and “burial” on Genesis.) (136)
  • He Sang One Song, poem by Rhea Gowan (142)
  • Shudders, poem by Robin Hood (153)
  • A Fool for Lesser Things - Toni Cardinal-Price (Spockʼs telekenetic powers acquired on Plutonius return while he sleeps and are turned on Kirk. "The cabin door opened and Kirk flew in, only to stop and abruptly say, "Oh, my God!" The Enterprise captain gaped at the sight before him. Spock's usually impeccable room was now a shambles.") (144)
  • Twilight Time, poem by Toni Cardinal-Price (164)
  • An Act of Love, poem by Wendy Rathbone (165)
  • Illusions of Grandeur - Pam Smith (Garth impersonates Spock and attempts to seduce Kirk while holding them prisoner. "Ah . . . Garth took your form in my prison cell and fooled me for a time." "He pretended to be me?" "Yes," Kirk nodded. "And made advances " "Advances?" Spock flushed darkly as the idea clarified in his mind. "You know a pass ?" "A pass," Spock echoed. "As in flirtation?" He gulped quickly. "Yeah, but heavier!" Kirk said grimacing.") (166)
  • Guardians, poem by Pam Smith
  • Lantern in the Dark - Chris Waken (Kirk and Spock are abducted by the now insane female Romulan commander and forced to have sex with her. "Lie down," the woman ordered. Kirk did as he was told, his eyes returning to Spock, trying not to beg but unconsciously pleading for understanding of what he was about to attempt. Spock put his soul into his silent answer, offering any and all comfort at his command. While there was nothing physical Spock could do, Kirk was eased and he suddenly shivered, feeling more than nude feeling naked.") (172)
  • Lantern, poem by Kathy Tipton (185)
  • Flickers, poem by Robin Hood (186)
  • Wind and the Wall, poem by Robin Hood (187)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

See reactions and reviews for Shadows Beckon, Sunlight Calls.
See reactions and reviews for Lantern in the Dark.
See reactions and reviews for Illusions of Grandeur.
See reactions and reviews for A Fool for Lesser Things.
See reactions and reviews for Is This Paradise, Or What?.
See reactions and reviews for Fantasies Dwell in Darkness.
See reactions and reviews for Death Takes a Holiday.
See reactions and reviews for Though Some May Wonder.
See reactions and reviews for At Night All Cats are Gray.
See reactions and reviews for Portions of Our Hearts.
See reactions and reviews for Into the Sunshine.
See reactions and reviews for Inspirational Performance.
See reactions and reviews for Two Solitudes.
[zine]: Part of the problem with this zine is the foreseeable result of the editor's request that contributors think up new & unusual ways to get Kirk & Spock together. The authors compiled, but it was often at the expense of believable characterization. In some instances, the authors didn't bother at all about characterization but concentrated solely on creating a set of bizarre circumstances. It is difficult, at this point, to think of any wholly new circumstances for a first time story. The best first time stories have depended not on gimmicks but on the author's ability to focus sensitively on the characters, their motivations & emotions. The zine has a handsome Gayle F cover & was obviously put together lovingly & with care. Nonetheless, there are many typos, spelling & grammatical errors. The stories are: Two Solitudes -- a confused, contradictory story in which Spock's nonsensical 'theory' about Kirk's behavior is an obvious device which the author uses to precipitate an unconvincing confrontation. I usually enjoy this authors work, but, in this case, she lacked any idea on which to build a story. Inspirational Performance -- this is really hopelessly silly. If the author meant it to be funny, it just didn't work out... Into The Sunshine by Sharlee Scott (14 pages) - in which Kirk & Spock fall into Romulan hands. Spock has had a blow to the head & lost his memory. Their captors assume that Spock is a Romulan & Kirk his slave. Kirk must convince Spock to trust him rather than the Romulans, in spite of Spock's physical resemblance to them. This story had potential & some really nice moments, but could have been excellent with some editorial help. It read like a first draft. Portions Of Our Hearts by Tere Roderick (23 pages) - With Spock's help, Kirk deals with his brother's death & his nephew's alienation. The characters bleed over into one another, as when the author writes about Kirk: "His inability to deal with Spock's injury hurt him far more than the deaths of his family, but he could not admit it. It made him too vulnerable...too Human." When did Kirk decide to give up his humanity? I always thought that was Spock's problem. Again, the difficulty here is one of characterization rather than the quality of the writing, which is good. Spock steps wholly out of character in a confessional sort of scene with Kirk's nephew wherein he tries to explain Kirk to Peter. The author has Spock take up her case for a Kirk who wants to eschew his humanity & emotions, explaining him to Peter in these terms: "He has been forced by his own code of honor to pretend that he can handle any situation without undue emotionalism. He has not allowed himself to be vulnerable." What code of honor is this, & what does it have to do with Kirk? I still don't know, & couldn't recognize the Vulcan-like Kirk portrayed here. This was a good idea which went awry due to the confused characterization. At Night All Cats Are Grey by C. McTarrell (10 pages) - The aftermath of McCoy's surgery on Sarek (Journey to Babel). Again, for my taste, the characterization is way off. Kirk DEMANDS to know what took place in a private conversation between Spock & Amanda (specifically, the scene in which Amanda slaps Spock), even threatening to ask Amanda directly when Spock refuses to tell him. This obnoxious, bullying, insensitive Kirk oversteps not only the boundaries of friendship but of civilized behavior as well. I fervently wished Spock would give this blundering boor the right cross he so richly deserved. Alas, the author thought otherwise! Though Some May Wonder by Natasha Solten (14 pages) - Spock seeks refuge in Kirk's quarters after his own are 'staked out' by shipmates intent on razzing him. If you can get past the premise that any of the Enterprise crew would have the nerve to tease Spock in this way, you will be amused. The love scene with which the story concludes is tender & very sensitively written. Death Takes A Holiday by S. Catlin (2 pages) - a vignette detailing Kirk's point of view during Spock's death in WOK. Fantasies Dwell In Darkness by Lisa Joas (11 pages) - Takes place during the time that Spock's essence is housed within Christine Chapel & Hennoch is occupying Spock's body. Both Henoch & Chapel are able to see Spock's fantasies about Kirk. This forces Spock himself to look at what he has tried to keep buried. The resolution of this excellent story is charming, & the whole is well written, showing the careful devlopment of a really good idea. Is This Paradise Or What by A.T. Bush (28 pages) - Kirk & Spock on the Shore Leave Planet, a theme done often but still enjoyable in the capable hands of A.T. Bush. Shadows Beckon, Sunlight Calls by K. Tipton (7 pages) - A confused, disjointed effort in which a weepy, suicidal Kirk is visited by a ludicrous personification of Death. A Fool For Lesser Things by Toni Cardinal-Price (21 pages) - Well written examination of Platonius' aftermath & how Spock's brief retention of his kinetic powers reveals his desires to Kirk. A good idea, with both Spock & Kirk right on target. Illusions Of Grandeur by P. Smith (6 pages) - Garth takes Spock's form & "makes advances" to Kirk. The story was too short for this premise to be developed in any but the most superficial way. The questions raised were too quickly & easily dealt with & resolved. Unconvincing. Lantern In The Dark by C. Waken (15 pages) - The Romulan Commander kidnaps Kirk & Spock & forces them to perform sexually. Sadistic & humiliating with an incongruously upbeat ending. This is of the if-you're-going-to-be-raped-you-might-as-well-lie-back-and-enjoy-it school of literature. There are approximately 24 pages of poetry. I particularly enjoyed Winter Wonder & Vacant Chair by Lisa Joas, Meditation by Alayne Gelfand & A Logical Man by Wendy Rathbone. The interior art is limited to a few pages which fail to illustrate the stories. While a great deal of this zine didn't please me at all, there were a few things I would hate to have missed. [3]
I'd like to comment on a K/S zine I read recently (my first), appropriately named FIRST TIME issue #1. I was immediately hooked by [Gayle F's] beautiful cover art, and the first two stories held my attention. "Two Solitudes" by Alayne Gelfand was a sensitively written and fairly believable vignette...until Kirk called his favorite Vulcan "Love". Somehow that didn't quite 'fit' in my mind, but on the whole I found their quiet hour of mutual discovery interesting. The humorous "Inspirational Performance" by Jaki Van Colan was delightful from beginning to end. I never stopped laughing (smirking?) at this dancehall Kirk and his Vulcan valet. The story was fresh, original, and well-written.

I thought too many of the FIRST TIME stories were direct take-offs from series episodes—"later that same day..." material—but perhaps that is the zine's format, and many fans might enjoy this.

The poetic gems by Wendy Rathbone deserve special mention, in particular "Affair With A Unicorn" which was wonderfully sensual and suggestive. [4]

Issue 2

front cover of issue #2, 1st edition, Vel Jaeger
back cover issue #2, 1st edition by Vel Jaeger
cover issue #2, 3rd edition
inside back cover of issue #2, poem by Ann, uncredited graphics
sample page showing font, graphics, and style

First Time 2 was published in 1985 and contains 145 pages. The zine is also known as "First Time Overflow" since it contained the fan fiction that could not be published in issue #1. (ex: First Time Overflow (1985, "third edition" 1988)

From the editorial:
Well, here we are again, about three months since the last one and another due in four....(did I say that? That scream you just heard was Vel's fingers falling off.)

There are numerous 'zines' due out this spring of '85 but it's still not enough. We NEED more, (that translates to I need more.) Writers, so what if your husbands have other ideas, your kids are sick or your cat had kittens. We accept no excuses. We want more!! (prettyplease?)

I want to thank my contributers once again for being masochistic and allowing me to flog them into producing what's enclosed within these pages....

[snipped]

...Now to the more mundane business...details, details....

WARNING!! Material enclosed is of an explict homosexual nature. (YEA!) AGE STATEMENT REQUIRED! (BOO!)

If this 'zine' infringes on anyone's rights it is not intentional, and we beg (cry, plead, snivel, whimper) for their pardon.
  • Settlin' In - A.T. Bush. (After VʼGer, Kirk and Spock talk out where their relationship need to go and finally decide to go forward slowly toward intimacy. Sequel: Settled. "I am going to learn how to be both Vulcan and Human, for that is what I am. I can only be Spock." Kirk swallowed hard, and felt his eyes overflow. It was what he had always wanted for Spock. "Ah shit!" Kirk leaned down, cradling the slick head in his arms "I've always wanted to hear you say that. I love you, Spock I love you you skinny little shithead Vulcan." "I am somewhat fond of you, also," Spock said finally.") (4)
  • More Than You Can Know, poem by Alexis Fegan Black (24)
  • A Touch of Jealousy by Kathy Tipton (After Spockʼs brain is returned, they discover a clone of him has been created to be a “teacher” to the Morg and I-Morg.) (26)
  • Forbidden Hour, poem by Wendy Rathbone (29)
  • Almost, poem by Robin Hood (40)
  • art by Carol Swoboda (41)
  • Between the Eyes, poem by Rhea Gowan (42)
  • Sigh Before Dawn, poem by Kathy Tipton (42)
  • Rare Breed, poem by Robin Hood (43)
  • And the Sailor Home from the Sea - Tere Ann Roderick. (Spock accompanies Kirk on his trip home to sell the family farm after the death of Kirkʼs mother. "Spock intoned, "You wished to speak with me? I also have need to discuss recent events with the Melkotians and the meld." Kirk was unnerved by Spock's lack of animation. He found his mouth drying up and with it, his mind. He was still fumbling for the right words when Spock continued his speech. "Captain, I regret any discomfort I may have caused, but I found no other alternative to the situation. I am aware that the imposition of my thoughts upon another being is shameful, even criminal on my world, yet, if I had not done so, you would be dead." That I could not allow. "The fact remains that I did 'take control' of your minds and now you are all suffering because of it.") (44)
  • Fragile Hearts, poem by Wendy Rathbone (56)
  • Tree in the Forest, poem by Robin Hood (57)
  • Search the Solar Winds - Pam Smith. (Kirk and Spock are abducted by an alien who needs their life force to survive, a force obtainable only during sexual intercourse. "You miserable rotten tease!" "Tease? I am afraid that I am unfamiliar with that term." Commander Spock of the USS Enterprise looked so indignant that his captain and friend, James Kirk burst out laughing as the two men faded into the cloud-like transporter beam, headed for the lush planet below. They materialized with the happy sound of Kirk's infectious giggle surrounding them and did not see the green warmth of Freitha that they expected, but an unfamiliar transported room. It was not a Federation ship. A deep-throated chuckle pierced the small room.") (58)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (63)
  • Never-Never Land, poem by Kathy Tipton (75)
  • Remember Me! - Chris Waken. (Spock is abducted by Klingons as he makes his way to Earth from Vulcan to reunite with Kirk after the far tor pan. "James Kirk's body was slowly, methodically humping the warm, welcoming flesh beneath him but as his mind suddenly skittered away, his instincts carried him on to climax. He stroked the contented sighing body and searched his mind frantically. There was a gaping area, a hole where his first officer and friend had resided. It was as if he were pulled through a vacuum crack in space. Spock had gone.") (76)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (86)
  • Wait for Me, poem by Pam Smith (99)
  • Blind Vision by Susan Catlin (100)
  • The Sting, poem by Robin Hood (101)
  • In the Lightning or the Dark by Tere Ann Roderick (After the incident with the Melkosians, Spock mistakenly believes that Kirk has as much trouble with the meld as McCoy and Scotty have.) (102)
  • Butterflies are Free, poem by Ann (112)
  • The Song, the Shadow World, poem by Rhea Gowan (113)
  • In the Desert I Learned of Heat - Natasha Solten. (One year after leaving for Gol Spock goes into pon farr and mentally calls Kirk, who also feeling the effects, goes to him. "He was walking in an inferno, one foot after the other. The floor of the desert burned through his sandals. Heat crawled beneath his robe, threatening to melt his skin. He looked up through blurred eyes at a red sky, his breath catching in a strangled moan. "Jim." He felt drops of water splash his cheeks.") (114)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (120)
  • Ultimate Betrayal, poem by Kathy Tipton (128)
  • art by Carol Swoboda (129)
  • Spock's Song by Robin Hood (Kirk and Spock are assigned a new ship after the destruction of the Enterprise and finally allow their feelings for each other to come out.) (130)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (134)
  • Reflections in a Golden Eye, poem by Susan Catlin (142)
  • Splinters, poem by Robin Hood (143)
  • Transcendence, poem by Pat Friedman (144)
  • Fire and Ice, poem by Ann (145)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

See reactions and reviews for Search the Solar Winds.
See reactions and reviews for In the Desert I Learned of Heat.
See reactions and reviews for Settlin' In.
See reactions and reviews for Remember Me!.
See reactions and reviews for And the Sailor Home from the Sea.
See reactions and reviews for Spock's Song.
See reactions and reviews for A Touch of Jealousy.
See reactions and reviews for In the Lightning or the Dark.
[zine]: SETTLING IN takes place after ST:TMP. Kirk and Spock meet alone for the first time since the emergency of V'ger. We see a tired, grateful, earnest Kirk And a changed, mellowed, slightly remorseful Spock face the misunderstandings which led to Spock's leaving for Gol. To watch as these two legendary friends come to terms with hurt and long-denied feelings is a joy. This is a pleasant read with some beautiful moments. A TOUCH OF JEALOUSY is something I never thought I'd see; a good story dealing with "Spock's Brain". After Spock has been restored to himself, a second Vulcan reading is discovered on the planet. Upon investigation, a fully functional, though still incompletely "programmed", duplicate of Spock is found. How Kirk and Spock deal with this new "life form" is the essence of this entertaining story. AND THE SAILOR HOME FROM THE SEA is a bit contrived. Kirk must go back to Iowa to deal with the selling of the Kirk homestead. He asks Spock to join him and the results of their visit are somewhat predictable but still enjoyable. SEARCH THE SOLAR WINDS is a terrific twist on the old vampire legends. Through methods unknown, Kirk and Spock find themselves aboard a strange vessel in the presence of a commanding being called Darien. It turns out that Darien is dying and only the unique "essence" which is the power of Kirk and Spock together can save him. This is a well-written, interestingly conceived story with a lovely ending. REMEMBER is a slightly improbable adventure which takes place after ST III:TSFS. Kirk is on earth, exonerated of all charges, while Spock is finishing up his recuperation on Vulcan. Through a series of circumstances, Kirk becomes aware that Spock is no longer on Vulcan and is in danger. Once found, it is discovered that Commander Kruge's brother has exacted his own type of revenge upon Kirk. The account of brutality relayed here is less than I've encountered in other stories, but it is still disturbing. IN THE LIGHTING OR THE DARK deals with the repercussions, or lack of, from Spock's mind-melding with McCoy, Scotty and Kirk at the OK Corral. The doctor and engineer are very disturbed by the encounter while Kirk seems to have had no ill effect at all... which leads both Kirk and Spock to suspect there is more between them than friendship. Nice story. IN THE DESERT I LEARNED OF HEAT is a beautiful pon farr story. While on earth, Kirk becomes aware that Spock is in need of him. Following his instincts, he travels to Vulcan and, unerringly, on to Gol where he finds Spock in pon farr. Natasha's version of pon farr is different from most in that Spock is far from violent. He is literally helpless as a baby. The ensuing love scene is very beautiful and also a typical of most pon farr scenes. This is a gentle loving, a gentle story. And the fact that the title is taken from a poem by Leonard Nimoy somehow makes it that mUch better. SPOCKS'S SONG is similar to SETTLING IN in that it deals with Kirk and Spock discussng the events that have led them to the place they find themselves after the events of one of the films, though, in this case, it is after ST III:TSFS rather than ST:TMP. In Kirk's cabin for a friendly game of chess, the two friends spend time reflecting over their lives together until an accidental brushing of arms sparks fires too long denied. The love scene is somewhat graphic, though by no means ugly. Even through the passion, what remains the main focus is the unique and undying friendship between these two. The poetry in the zine is mostly unremarkable with a few exceptions. MORE THAN YOU KNOW by Alexis Fegan Black is a lovely reflection by Sarek about his meld with Kirk and what he found in the captain's mind. FORBIDDEN HOUR by Wendy Rathbone is a beautiful delving into Spock's empathic response to Kirk's losing Edith Keeler. NEVER, NEVER LAND and THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL, both by Kathy Tipton, are nicely done though both are what I consider "death poems" and are very sad. The covers are by Jaeger, the inside art by Jaeger and Swoboda. [5]

Issue 3

front cover of issue #3, Caren P. -- "By now, you've noticed the covers. (I excel in understatement, don't 1?) Just in case you've torn the pages trying to see who the artist is, I'll save you the trouble. [Caren P] did the deed. Need I say more? (other than, have you ever seen anything more decadently beautiful?) My printer took one look at the originals and told me I was going to pay. HE was not going to run anything so wonderfully done at any less than EXPENSIVE!! (unfortunately he kept his word) He also stated that if he looked as good, he'd run around naked all the time and thought I ought to ask Mr. Shatner to autograph the cover, (wouldn't I just!!) Caren knows just how much her work means to me and I thank her again." [6]
back cover of issue #3, Caren P.
cover issue #3, 2nd edition

First Time 3 was published in 1985 and contains 189 pages.

  • Turning Point - Ann Carver. (After Spock is hurt during a planet survey, Kirk tricks him into going on shoreleave with him while they orbit Argelius. "Kirk! Call him off. Please!" Kirk hauled himself to his feet and moved quickly over to the pair. Spock hadn't moved a muscle since pinning the Commodore to the wall. He might have been a statue except for the trembling hand clenched into a fist and held stiffly at his side. "Spock!" Kirk grabbed the Vulcan's arm, feeling the tension in the biceps. Spock was a coiled spring, tightly wound, and needing only a slight twist to snap. "Spock." Kirk's voice was soft and soothing. "Let him go, Spock. He didn't hurt me. Let him go.") (6)
  • Vulcan Wings by Vel Jaeger (reprinted from Trekism at Length (26)
  • Lover of My Soul by J. Elizabeth Ginty (27)
  • The Hard Sell - Vivian Gates. (Humor: "Are you a tramp?" asked the Human suspiciously. "Certainly not," replied the Vulcan calmly in a low, pleasant voice. "Pardon me for taking refuge from the storm in your barn." He made a gesture towards the open door, outside where a forceful rain still pelted. "I was unable to attract attention at the house and so withdrew to this relatively dry location to wait for the storm to subside." The young Human still looked doubtful, so the Vulcan cautiously reached into an inner pocket and handed over a small imitation pasteboard object. "My card," he said.") (28)
  • Thistle in the Wind by Robin Hood (34)
  • Vulcan Nightmare by Vel Jaeger, reprinted from Trekism at Length (35)
  • Time Passages by Robin Hood (35)
  • Go Awaits by J. Elizabeth Ginty (35)
  • Always Something There to Remind Me - A.T. Bush. (Kirk muses about his and Spock first time after Spockʼs pon farr while Saavik pilots the Enterprise out of spacedock. "Admiral? Admiral?" Spock waited for Kirk to return from his reverie. The soft expression in the hazel eyes indicated that Kirk had been daydreaming . . . pleasantly. And Spock could fairly well guess what the subject had been. He sighed inaudibly, tempted to reveal immediately that he had also been indulging . . . frequently of late. "Yes, Spock? Captain?" Kirk corrected himself and pulled himself together. He eyed McCoy's amused, knowing grin. Of course, Bones knew all about them . . . always had . . . even before they had . . . ") (36)
  • The Dreamer, the Leader, and Me by Robin Hood (53)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (54)
  • The Hidden Path by Artemis (55)
  • Midnight Silence - Beverly Danielson. (McCoy intervenes when he discovers Spock upset over Kirk. "Never in my life have I had anybody cry on my shoulder like he did last night, much less a Vulcan. Showed me something in him I'd only suspected. He thinks it's completely hopeless, and made me promise not to tell you. Without really considering you, I did. Obviously, now I think I was wrong to promise." Kirk had ceased his pacing and was standing quietly in the middle of his cabin. "Why are you really here, Bones?" (36)
  • Wind from Tomorrow by Robin Hood (59)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (60)
  • Silver Bells by Ann Carver (61)
  • Charade - Tere Ann Roderick. (After using a drug to become young again, Kirk passes as the Spockʼs slave on a Vulcanoid planet. "Oh, you know . . . a slave . . . cherished and all that jazz; the usual." Kirk bantered on, pretending not to notice the interest in the dark eyes. "The only slave that is cherished in this society is a sex-slave," the Vulcan commented drily, his eyes fastened somewhere near Kirk's bare midriff. "Unfortunately, you are a little . . . ah . . . old . . . for that." "OLD!! Why you . . . . " The sputtering roar dispelled any illusion the captain might have created with his costume.") (62)
  • Fire Below by Susan Catlin (92)
  • The Devil Within Me by Artemis (93)
  • Property Rights - Vera Barga. (After VʼGer, Spock discovers that Kirk has been tattooed with Spockʼs name. "I talked about him a lot, I guess. Lori made him, our friendship, a focal point for her anger and blamed him for our falling apart." Jim let a foolish grin cover his face and wafted his hands in the air to punctuate his words. "How was I to know she'd earned extra money when she was a cadet applying tattoos?!" "What I'd like to know is WHY you held still for it?") (94)
  • I Love You by J. Elizabeth Ginty (101)
  • The Confidence - Alexis Fegan Black. (McCoy wonders if Spock will finally tell Kirk the secrets that McCoy saw while carrying Spockʼs katra. "Go to him, Spock. Go to him now, while the desert is cool and the distance from Death's darkness isn't quite so great. When you've had time to think logically, you'll lose your nerve. You'll start to slip once again into your Vulcan lifestyle . . . and maybe there won't be any more chances. Don't waste this life. And don't be afraid. Somewhere in all this darkness, somewhere in a quiet room in this great stone mansion, you'll find someone else shivering, Spock. You'll find someone just as terrified as you.") (102)
  • In Between by Kathy Tipton (105)
  • Blind Date - Brandy Amber-Allen. (Spock wins Kirk as a date when a ticket for the drawing is bought in his name. "Captain." Spock had recovered some of his lofty dignity. "It would appear that we are on the receiving end of a joke. While I did not, certainly, subscribe to the gambling that has of late consumed the interest of this crew, it would appear that . . . somehow . . . I have drawn the winning ticket." And as visible proof, he lifted a hand bearing the stub of that very same ticket. "WHAT?!" The smaller man collapsed in laughter, hugging his ribs and bent double with his mirth. "Y-you mean y-you're my d-date?!" he sputtered.") (106)
  • Soft Desire by Robin Hood (116)
  • Fingers by Tere Ann Roderick (117)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (118)
  • Of Joy Past Now by Vel Jaeger (119)
  • Remember, Remember Me - Natasha Solten. (Kirk prays for Spock to remember their love after the fal tor pan. "Your father's words echo. "He must not be disturbed. His mind and body must rest for the healing process to be complete." That was all he said but I read between the lines. If you were disturbed, or even if you were not, there was no guarantee you would completely recover. Memory is a fleeting concept. You might remember everything tomorrow. Or you might not remember for a hundred years. Choked at the thought, my knees give way. I kneel, hands twined in your robe. I don't know if I can live any longer with this pain. Oh, Spock . . . you must remember, remember me!") (120)
  • Two Suns by Susan Catlin (122)
  • The Wild Side by Pam Smith (123)
  • Long Way Home - Ellen Thacher. (While visiting his farm, Admiral Kirk and a young drifter he hired are attacked after leaving a party. "Nothing, just talk." "Right, but what talk?" Kirk was going to insist. "You know. After all, you do hang around with the Vulcan an awful lot," he said in a melodramatic voice. He stopped to see if Kirk would let it go. He wouldn't. Scott swallowed a groan and continued, knowing that to keep on avoiding the subject would only cause Kirk to think the worst. He spoke quickly, attempting to keep his voice light, not wanting to give the rumors more credence than they deserved. "Okay, rumor has it that there might be something between you and Captain Spock. You know, you save his life, he saves yours. And then Genesis. . . . ") (124)
  • art by Vel Jaeger (167)
  • Voice in the Dark by Robin Hood (188)
  • Full Circle by J. Elizabeth Ginty (189)
  • covers by Caren P.

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

See reactions and reviews for Long Way Home.
See reactions and reviews for The Hard Sell.
See reactions and reviews for Turning Point.
See reactions and reviews for Always Something There to Remind Me.
See reactions and reviews for Midnight Silence.
See reactions and reviews for Charade.
See reactions and reviews for Property Rights.
See reactions and reviews for The Confidence.
See reactions and reviews for Blind Date.
See reactions and reviews for Remember, Remember Me.
[zine]: Edited by Robin Hood, (not a pen-name), this is the third issue in one year of a K/S zine containing only stories that detail unique, different ways of getting Kirk and Spock together for the first time. Before reviewing the stories, though, I must say that the editorials should not be skipped. Robin's humor is worth the chuckle you'll get reading them. "Sky At Sunrise" and "Dark At Moonrise" are two poems by Natasha Solten written to go with the covers, exquisite nudes by Caren P. The poems are filled with interesting images and compliment the cover drawings which capture the atmosphere of tender, erotic intensity. "Turning Point" by Ann Carver. Spock convinces Kirk to go on shore leave with him (for Kirk's own good) and they meet Matt Decker (before "The Doomsday Machine"). There is more than meets the eye here in a story with some surprising twists. "The Hardsell" by Vivian Gates is a satire on the alternate universe story. Kirk is a farm-hand, Spock, a traveling salesman. It is completely unserious and even a little amusing. "Always Something There To Remind Me' by AT Bush is a flashback story about Kirk's and Spock's first encounter yet the main story takes place during the events of TWOK. Well written but has no plot. "The Hidden Path" by Artemis. A wonderfully touching vignette about what went on in Sarek's mind as he read Kirk's mind during the Sarek/Kirk mind-touch in TSFS. "Midnight Silence": This short story involves a conversation between Kirk and McCoy about Spock and his feelings and could easily be a prequel to the real first timer lurking in between the paragraphs. "Silver Bells· by Ann Carver is a hauntingly eloquent poem expressing perfectly the feeling of loneliness when a friend or lover dies. "Charade" by Tere Ann Roderick. This is basically a slave-story, except that the whole plot is an undercover charade on the part of Kirk and Spock who are investigating the problems of a planet of Vulcanoids. The characters are one-dimensional and the culture offers some interesting, but brutal distractions. "Property Rights" by Vera Barga. This little story is post ST:TMP and is about a tattoo in a compromising place and the problems Kirk has hiding it. It is a little unbelievable but cute with a good ending. "In Confidence" by Alexis Fegan Black. An excellent stream of consciousness monologue from McCoy's point of view after the events in TSFS. McCoy, who held Spock's katra, knows the deepest secrets of a Vulcan heart. "Blind Date" by Brandy Amber-Allen. To boost morale, a raffle is held aboard the ENTERPRISE. One of the prizes is a blind 'date' with the Captain. The reader won't be too surprised to find out who wins, but Kirk sure is. How he handles the situation makes for interesting and humorous reading. "Remember, Remember Me" by Natasha Solten. This vignette, from Kirk's point of view, shows his loneliness after the fal tor pan and fear that Spock may not remember everything they were to each other. In a touching scene, Kirk goes to Spock against Sarek's orders, in the middle of the night, and discovers the truth of how much Spock remembers. "Long Way Home" by Ellen Thacher. This novella (64 zine pages) has Kirk as the main character and is set in his hometown in Iowa where he has come on leave. The writing is well done, but the events that occur stretch believability, And the way Kirk handles himself emotionally during a crisis strays from the characterization of him we've all come to know and love. However, there is a reason for Kirk's off-beat behavior in this plot and if you just keep reading you'll discover the big, dark secret. [7]

Issue 4

back cover of issue #4, Christine Myers
front cover of issue #4, 1st edition, Christine Myers -- a variation of this art was used as the front cover of Plak Tow #7 -- from the editorial: "That's right! I conned one of the best Gen Zine artists. Told you I sniveled well!"
cover issue #4, 3rd edition
interior art from issue #4, Gayle F

First Time 4 was published in 1985 and contains 195 pages. A variation of the front cover was used on Plak Tow #7. Interior art by Marilyn Cole, Gayle F, Christine Myers, Caren Parnes, C.A. Pierce, Vel Jaeger.

  • First Time, poem by Pam Smith (1)
  • First Time, poem by Jean Schnedler (4)
  • Looking Outward Together - Natasha Solten. (After Miramanee dies, Spock follows Kirk into the woods where he tries to console his friend and Captain. "He turned questioning eyes on me, stared at me intently for a moment before nodding in understanding. "It's like choosing between death or torture. The lesser of two evils." He gnawed thoughtfully on his lower lip, stared again at his lap and the leather pouch there. "You know, when I found out we would have a child, I . . . I was so happy. I thought she will be like Miramanee, the wind, the rain, the beauty of nature . . . and I would teach her everything I knew. Or he would have been . . . again like her, dark and mysterious. I kept seeing your face but I couldn't remember your name. I would have named him after you, Spock, if I had remembered.") (also in Charisma #7) (4)
  • Passed My Way, poem by Ellen Thacher (9)
  • Heart of Winter, poem by Pam Smith (11)
  • Diamond Dust - Indra. (After a long period of stress Kirk and Spock decide on a link, but trouble occurs when Kirk is made aware of the sexual aspect of it. "On the last night of the second week Kirk put down his book and looked at the slim figure seated on the floor in front of his chair. Spock was absolutely still and Kirk realised with a sudden shock that his friend was deep in a meditative trance. He's meditating! Meditating completely! And I'm here while he's doing it! It's so private . . . . Yet he's doing it and he knew I was here. He must have begun deliberately. I've seen him in melds and helped him out of more than one when he needed it, but he's never let me see him meditate properly. He's so deep, too. Must be right into the lower levels and very vulnerable when he's like that. I must be careful not to disturb him.") (12)
  • "Along Came a Spider"- C.A. Pierce. (A new female crewmembersʼ attentions make Spock nervous, so he goes to Kirk for advise and gets more than he bargained for. "She took the report and he almost let go before her clawed hand could take it. He wanted no 'accidental' contact. She nodded, her eyes again doing their torture. Then Spock sighed and slumped when the turbolift closed. He sat at his station, wondering how he would get rid of her. I do not wish to put a smear on her record as she is a very good worker, but she must learn to respect . . . superior officers. Because she comes from a planet where men are sexual objects . . . Spock flinched, does not give her the right . . . ") (38)
  • Discovery, poem by Jean Schendler (43)
  • Nessus' Test - Faille. (Kirk and Spock are “test subjects” when they suddenly find themselves in a doorless room, in the power of a omnipotent being. "Come on, Spock . . . cheer up. We're not down for the count yet. The Enterprise is probably on our trail right this minute." Kirk patted Spock's knee, consolingly. His words sounded hollow, even to him. The solar system they had been exploring was very large and there were several habitable planets. And they had no idea of the range of Nessus' transportation device. They were, in fact, very short on any information. Kirk remembered only that he had been standing beside Spock at the science console when a blinding rainbow-flash had filled his eyes. The next moment, he and Spock were in the rapidly-becoming-odious cell.") (44)
  • Fades the Light, poem by Lisa Jas (69)
  • What Have I Done, poem by Pam Smith (71)
  • Oh What a Tangled Web - Vera Barga. (Unable to confess his feelings to Spock, Kirk goes to a bar where patrons wear “illusion necklaces” to hide their identity, unaware that Spock has followed. "He looks so damn innocent. What DID he find out? What the hell could I have revealed to a touch telepath while I made love to him? Calm down, James T., panic won't get you anywhere and you had better be far away fast. Kirk grabbed his tunic and pants, hastily pulling them on. You don't know that he read you. You don't even know for sure that Romulans are telepaths. He might not be a Romulan, could be a Vulcan. Sure! Tell that one to High Command. Jim unlocked the door and checked the hall before making his way as unobtrusively as possible to the changing cubicles. I feel like a thief. Espionage 101. Sorry, sirs. I thought I was screwing a Vulcan, wasn't my fault I gave my libido free rein. Doctor's orders you know. You see, sir, I have this thing about my first officer ...RIGHT!! SPOCK!! I've been down here for HOURS!! I can't face him now!!") (72)
  • This Funny Feeling, poem by Donna Vanderlaan (3)
  • A More Interesting Game - Donna Vanderlaan. (While playing chess, Kirk dares Spock to a wager where the loser must answer any question asked by the winner. "Do you mean that we should play for . . . credits?" The Vulcan tried not to appear scandalized. "No, Spock, that's too ordinary. I have an idea though. How about something more threatening . . . like the loser has to reveal something that he wouldn't want the other person to know. Something he wouldn't normally talk about?" Spock raised both brows as he thought about this new puzzlement.") (4)
  • Earth's Son, poem by Lisa Joas (99)
  • Remember, poem by Ann Carver (101)
  • Skeletons in the Closet - Brandy Amber Allen. (Kirk is unusually withdrawn, so McCoy orders Spock to go with their captain to Earth following Kirkʼs motherʼs death. "Damnit, Spock, what do you want from me?!" Kirk whirled around to face his friend In facing the Vulcan, however, this close to the edge, it was like standing aside looking on as he lashed at one who understood. Though the Vulcan's face remained unmoved, Kirk saw the hurt his words inflicted. Why am I doing this? he asked himself. To Spock!! Look at him, standing there, taking it. I love him and yet I attack as if it was his fault! But Kirk couldn't stop the awful rage once it had begun. It only seemed to intensify until he felt smothered. "Okay, you want to know what's bothering me . . . fine! First, though, I want you to take a look. Take a real good look at the man you see standing in front of you. This man's a fake, Spock, nothing more than an empty shell! I'm not who you think I am. My life has been nothing more than an elaborate masquerade!") (102)
  • Salt Wind, poem by Robin Hood (123)
  • Ebb Tide - Tere Ann Roderick. (On shore leave Kirk and Spock discuss a future together and how to deal with the problems being together will bring. "Kirk pulled back as though the well-known face had suddenly transformed into a mugato, his own features showing his dismay. "Then . . . you DON'T . . . . " He could not say it . . . not now. He'd been a fool to think that Spock might feel 'romantic love' for him, especially after the Vulcan had used the example of the family unit. He thinks of me as a brother. I must've shocked him out of his skin when I touched him. Shit! How the hell do I explain it? Jim started to get to his feet, but strong arms prevented him. "T'hy'la, do not regret this desire. I am honored that you . . . find me acceptable. I would be pleased to . . . serve.")
  • Wind and the Lion, poem by Robin Hood (145)
  • Fantasy Out of Hand - Alexis Fegan Black. (Forced on shore leave by McCoy, Kirk spends the night alone, eventually realizing his desire for Spock. "What was it about Spock's company that made everything seem all right? Was it the Vulcan's dependability, the fact that Kirk knew he could rely on him in a crisis? No . . . there were plenty of reliable officers on the Enterprise. Those who weren't didn't last more than a week. It was more than that, more than just the fact that Spock was a good second-in-command. Was it because the Vulcan represented security? A stable friendship which didn't depend on social niceties and artificial masks? Well . . . that was part of it, Kirk knew. With Spock, he didn't have to constantly play the role of Captain Kirk. With Spock, he could relax, could curse at a faulty dilithium crystal or spout philosophy in the wee hours of the morning all without feeling that some form of social judgment was being passed in the Vulcan's mind.") (146)
  • Savage Again, poem by Chris Waken (163)
  • A Privacy of Storm - Lyon. (While on a planet survey, Kirk and Spock take shelter in a cave during a storm, where Kirkʼs fear of thunderstorms creates the situation that brings them together. "They had known the possibility existed that they would be trapped, but could not have known it would happen so quickly after beaming down. The bizarrely erratic atmospheric conditions on the planet, and the fluctuating radiations of its dying sun, had both intrigued the Enterprise scientists and presented a problem, complex and dangerous, for her transporter engineers. McCoy had peevishly labelled it "just another Go-At-Your- Own-Risk pleasure jaunt." The Vulcan had volunteered to take charge of the small survey team, and at first Kirk had seemed uncharacteristically content to let him do so. But another offhand, mildly critical comment by McCoy appeared to prompt the starship's captain to abruptly change his mind, and join the landing party.") (164)
  • Chain of Bells, poem by Robin Head
  • Absence, poem by C.A. Pierce (194)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

See reactions and reviews for Diamond Dust.
See reactions and reviews for Oh What a Tangled Web.
See reactions and reviews for A More Interesting Game.
See reactions and reviews for Ebb Tide.
See reactions and reviews for Along Came a Spider.
See reactions and reviews for Fantasy Out of Hand.
See reactions and reviews for A Privacy of Storm.
See reactions and reviews for Looking Outward Together.
See reactions and reviews for Nessus' Test.
See reactions and reviews for Skeletons in the Closet.
[art by Gayle F on page 157]: This is a lovely illustration of Spock poised about to enter Kirk and Kirk's legs in the air, and his feet touching Spock's shoulders. This is an especially difficult posture for artists to render without confusing the anatomies of the two figures. Gayle managed it very well. The swirling star pattern in the background is evocative of the fantasy mood. The layered starburst pattern on Spock's hair echoes this background. There are hearts in each corner of the frame. Normally, I might consider that too sweet, but in this case it struck me as just right for the particular piece. [8]
[zine]: Unfortunately, I got to FT4 after the original print run had sold out, so I didn't get a chance to have the covers. (I have seen a friend's, though). It's my understanding that the editor replaces covers with facsimiles to help differentiate from the original. While I comment that practice for those of you who have originals, I am most sorry for myself. FT4, as with all the FTs, begins with an amusing editorial. The editor asks/begs for comments and with off the wall statements, I'm certain she must get them. They are certainly uncommon as far as editorials go. This is not to say that the entertainment is only on that page: to the contrarwith interesting stories that span a wide spectrum. Something here for everyone. LOOKING OUTWARD TOGETHER by Natasha Solten. This first story, very short and very hard hitting. Written in the I form as only Ms. Solten can, it grips you gently by the throat and brings tears to the eyes. DIAMOND DUST by Indra isn't quite as inspiring as he other works, but it is a soft, introspective piece that many will enjoy. ALONG CAME A SPIDER by CA. Pierce — very light weight, with touches of humor that really didn't appeal to me. NESSUS' TEST by Faille. A well-written story, both interesting and refreshing. I've not heard of this author before, but look forward to more from her in the future. A MORE INTERESTING GAME by Donna Vanderlaan. A very short, enjoyable story. Better written than many of Ms. Vanderlaan's works, it seems smother, and just as usual, the idea is novel. If this is a new style for her, I applaud her and hope she continues it. SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET by Brandy Amber Allen. If you can get past the obvious pen name, the story is well worth reading. It's a little harsh, but Ms. Allen's handling of Kirk's pain and past is very wrenching and, of course, our Vulcan solves all the problems. Now to the "shining" pieces in the zine: FANTASY OUT OF HAND by Alexis Fegan Black. While the light-hearted tone and playfulness of this story may fool some readers, underneath is a very loving Kirk. The idea is very original and extremely well written, and I won't give the plot away. This must be read without prior knowledge. A PRIVACY OF STORM by Lyon. I have no idea why this story wasn't at least nominated for a K/Star Award. True, it is a bit of a cliche, but with one tiny swallow of belief set aside at the beginning, the rest of the story grips you by the proverbial balls. It's one of the most well-written stories I've read in the last 3 years. Both characters are 'in character' and totally satisfying to the romantic as well as the adventuresome of the fans. An absolute must! I'm really looking forward to reading more of 'Lyon's' work. The artwork, while scant, is extremely appropriate and well done. Even Ms. Jaeger's work, which can be somewhat overpowering at times, is some of her best; and the cover by Christine Meyer has Spock looking at us as if we were... a naked captain stretched on his bunk. Gave me goosebumps! Wonderful! Ms. Cole's art is striking and, once again, slavish and exciting. The poetry is, to me, outstanding. Almost every poem, even if it's not 'great poetry', gives me a chill. It's a pleasure to read poetry and not dread it — Jean Schnedler's work, in particular, is quite nice. The editor seems to be very careful in her layout of the zines, and they all have a contiguous flavor that's refreshing in this day of 'one shot' zines. FIRST TIME makes quite a statement for quality and punctuality as well. (I've never received a zine faster). Spiral bound and almost 200 pages — well worth the money. I can't wait to get my hands on another! [9]

Issue 5

front cover of issue #5 by Caren P.
back cover of issue #5, Caren P.
front cover of issue #5, 3rd edition

First Time 5 was published in February 1986 and contains 193 pages. It was nominated for several K/Star Awards. The editor was Libby West. Cover art is by Caren P. Other art is by Marilyn Cole, Vel Jaeger, Chris Soto, and Shellie Whild.

The disclaimer on this issue:
Other than filching basic material from the 'big bird', none of the authors published here meant to do anything other than entertain the perverted readers. (That's those of you who are reading this now! Caught you didn't we??) If your mother or husband saw the covers, well, that should teach you to read this in the closet! Serves you right! Warning: This zine contains EXPLICT homosexual material. If you're not into this, keep your cotton-picking fingers off! Try harlequin instead.
  • First Time, poem by Chris Waken (1)
  • A Thought for Christmas - Ellen Thacher. (Spock gives Kirk the reliving of any memory he wants as a Christmas gift and Kirk picks the smile Spock gave him after the Koonakalifee. "Christmas. Spock almost hated the word. The humans on board the Enterprise were exuberant. Even more so than usual and the first officer, Spock, considered taking his back leave, effective immediately, and staying on Vulcan until the illogical holiday was past. True, the whole crew wasn't caught up in the frivolous insanity but most of the personnel were human and the ship's captain, James Kirk, most certainly was. I cannot leave, Spock thought glumly. It would wound Jim. He adores this time of year and cannot accept that I do not. Spock heaved a deep sigh and jerked violently, almost breaking his knee on a table leg when Dr. McCoy spoke from behind him.") (4)
  • Spiritus, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (8)
  • Lesson in Faith, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (9)
  • Logical Decisions - Faille. (Spock is driven into pon farr by flowers on the planet he and Kirk are forced on when fleeing the Klingons. "Kirk had been ordered to present his prize scientist and the device to a designated test site, which necessitated a rendezvous in space and a longer trip on the Lexington. In other words, Kirk had unwittingly cornered himself and Spock most successfully.") (10)
  • Dark Ember, poem by Robin Hood (55)
  • On Our Beach - Vera Barga. (Kirk and Spock meet and make love the day before Kirk takes command of the Enterprise, though neither knows the others identity. "Chris was leaving; Chris Pike, his captain. Spock had followed this human's lead for many years. Formulating his opinions on ones he saw held true for Chris. All these years Chris had treated him like a real person, a person of worth despite his heritage.") (56)
  • The High Price of Love - Ann Carver. (Missing for six months, Spock is found in a pleasure house by Kirk and McCoy, addicted to a drug that causes uncontrolled arousal. "Lt. Rivers looked at Kirk and shook his head in wonder. "Captain Kirk, I've been using this enhancer for many years and this is the first time I've ever seen it give a true likeness of a person without requiring any changes. A remarkable feat of memory." Kirk blushed self consciously. "It's easy to describe Mr. Spock. He's a unique individual." "Well," the lieutenant said, slapping his thigh. "It's time for me to get to work. Don't worry, Captain, we'll find your Mr. Spock.") (68)
  • Words, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (113)
  • First Thought, poem by Donna Rose Vanderlaan (115)
  • High Time - Jenny Starr. (During a bachelor party Kirk is slipped a drug that erases inhibitions. "One of the reasons the recreational drug Speed-o-lite has been popular throughout the Federation for the past five years or so, is its remarkable ability to remove inhibitions and provide its partakers with an evening of fantasy-fulfilled abandon, while allowing said partaker to awaken the following morning with a crystal-clear memory of all that took place and a complete absence of residual effects.") (116)
  • The Fall, poem by Natasha Solten (131)
  • Where You Find It - Zoey Brook. (Running from the Klingons, Kirk and Spock take refuge in a cave, unaware of the alien life force watching and protecting them. "Scotty! Did you hear me?! Get the ship out of here. This place is crawling with Klingons!" Kirk grabbed Spock by the arm and dashed for the cover of the slim trees.") (132)
  • Barbs, poem by Robin Hood (155)
  • Rivers Run to Seas, poem by Lisa Joas (157)
  • The Wall - Kathy Tipton (novella). (Spock is injured while on a survival test with Kirk and is unable to enter a healing trance due to his preoccupation with Kirkʼs nearness. "Now? Do you really mean that they want me to go now? In the middle of the hottest contest for new territory we've seen in years? Shit! Bones, they've got to be kidding! Haranranth. Fuck! We'll die there! The average temperature is 100 at least, and the opposite in the evening. What the hell kind of test is that?") (158)
  • The Burial, poem by Natasha Solten (191)
  • The Pain of a Sunset, poem by Natasha Solten (192)
  • I Loved You Even Then, poem by Donna Rose Vanderlaan (193)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5

See reactions and reviews for The Wall.
See reactions and reviews for Where You Find It.
See reactions and reviews for On Our Beach.
See reactions and reviews for Logical Decisions.
See reactions and reviews for The High Price of Love.
See reactions and reviews for High Time.
See reactions and reviews for A Thought for Christmas.
[zine]: This is a K/S "first time" zine, with clear, easily read print, offset, spiral bound, and covers by Carol Parnes. The zine is a nice balance of stories (some delightfully long) and poetry, and the poems always complemented the stories they came before or after. The art is wonderful. The portrait of Kirk and Spock by Chris Soto is lovely, and Parnes' covers are, too. Marilyn Cole has a beautiful Spock. The poetry is some of the best I've read. Donna Vanderlaan's "I Loved You Even Then," is touching, fresh, and mystical, and accompanied by a darling illustration of Spock as an elf. "Rivers Run to Seas," by Lisa Joas, another of my favorites, is full of strong, wonderful, moving images and is accompanied by a very nice illo by Vel Jaeger. "Spiritus," by Tere Ann Roderick, still moves through my mind; it is a haunting and lovely poem of deep spiritual need, and loss. As for the stories: "A Thought for Christmas," by Ellen Thacher, is a non-explicit, implied K/S, piece, with a comfy, cozy feel to it. It takes place at a Christmas celebration, and Spock finds he is out of ideas for gifts for JTK. He gives him a special "thought" for Christmas. I thoroughly enjoyed this; you too will like it if you're a romantic. "Logical Decisions," by Faille. Spock has developed a new cloaking device for a whole planet, and he and Kirk must try it out. They end up in a shuttle, chased by Klingons, and have to land on a lush planet. There are scenes of Kirk with a berry-stained face, and a shy Vulcan with a very disturbing problem. I cannot go into depth here about some of the marvelous images, scenes, and ideas, but I read it much too fast. "On Our Beach," by Vera Barga, is a very refreshing, very different story. Spock and Kirk do not know each other. Kirk is the new captain of the Enterprise, and Spock fears his life is changing in a negative way. He was close to Pike, like a son to a father, and feels he is isolated again. Each man, before duty, takes the evening off to try to relax and pull things together. Kirk goes one way, Spock another, but they find each other. There is a wonderful, realistic meeting and chat on a waterfront. They spend the night together, then, the next morning, on board the ship, the new captain and first officer "meet". Great story. "The High Price for Love," by Ann Carver. It's difficult to pick a favorite, but this is definitely in the running. Spock is abducted and taken into slavery with the help of an illegal drug. McCoy and Kirk find him, and the rest is a moving story of love and friendship as the two work to save Spock and help him through the terrible withdrawal from the drug. I loved it. "High Times" by Jenny Starr, is another story about the the effects of the drub but in a more humorous way, showing what happens to the captain and crew of the Enterprise when they are affected an inhibition-blocking drug. Of course, our sensuous captain seduces his first officer. "Where You Find It," by Zoey Brook, is an adventure K/S story with Klingons, wild country, and a stranded Jim and Spock. They are not aware of it, but one of the natives of that planet is very aware of, and interested in, them. This is neither story nor a villain-alien story. In fact, this alien saves the lives of both men, separately, and more than once. This is a a story for those of you who want just a little explicit and a lot of adventure. "The Wall" by Kathy Tipton would have been longer if I had had a say. Starfleet has required that Kirk and Spock go on a survival trek on a hostile and very hot planet. They are to travel on foot to a mountain called The Wall, which is a very descriptive name. They have a terrible struggle, and Kirk is in bad humor, grumbling all the way. I found his complaints hilarious, and yet I was very sympathetic toward him. This is my image of Kirk: impatient, candid, yet determined to do his duty. Spock has to try to calm his disgruntled captain. The images are so well done, I actually got thirsty reading this story. The second half of the story takes a more serious turn, and becomes more thoughtful. I liked seeing them off the Enterprise for a while. For me, the zine is well worth the price. I would recommend it for the fine writing, poetry, art, and easy-reading print — the editor gives you the choice of two print types, 15 or 12 pitch; please specify when ordering — as well as for the variety of stories — adventure, explicit, implied, romantic, humorous. There's something here for every taste! [10]

Issue 6

back cover of issue #6, Caren Parnes
front cover issue #6, 1st edition by Caren Parnes

First Time 6 was published in June 1986 and contains 179 pages. It was nominated for a K/Star Award. The zine contains art by Barbara Walker, Shellie Whild, Chris Soto, Caren Parnes, Jackie Zoost, Dragon, and Christine Myers. This issue marks the debut of Chris Soto's published art.

From the editorial:
Well, # 6 is here and I have several wonderful stories for the contest zine (#7) and I have heart stopping covers for number 8 due in Feb. (8!! she screamed, beginning to quiver.) I really was only going to do one zine, to prove that it could be done on time and still be a decent zine. I have you, my readers, to thank for convincing me that First Time is a 'decent zine.' I have no idea how we got up to #6, (don't forget 'The Poets and I' either!) but then I've been told I have a mind like a sieve anyway. I think I sound like the woman who got pregnant and had no idea how! (Janet tells me that it's my ego and your wonderful letters.) Believe it or not, each one is a stroke, be it little, or one of the wonderful 5 pages detailed reviews that some of you are kind enough to send. Each one is a stroke and let me tell you, that's what makes this worth doing.
The editor's disclaimer:
Oh well, personally I don't give a flying &$^$^%* who this zine insults. It was done, in its entirety, with love, respect and if they can't tell that, then they are not important enough to matter!!
  • The Look of Eagles, poem by Pam Smith (1)
  • Hide and Seek - Natasha Solten. (What starts out as a lesson in masturbation turns to shared passion after Kirk questions Spock on why heʼs been avoiding him since his pon farr. "My heart jammed my throat. He had hit a nerve: the truth. I should have expected it. Jim always gets straight to the point, and quickly. He detests game-playing when the stakes are high and serious. I did not want to lie to him, therefore I did not answer.") (4)
  • Past and Future Perfect, poem by Jean Schnedler (13)
  • Much Like My Own, poem by Jean Schendler (13)
  • Settled - Marie Surah. (Kirk and Spock continue the realignment of their relationship after VʼGer as they plan a shore leave together. Prequel: Settling In. "Kirk woke gradually and stretched all of his sleep-relaxed muscles, one-by-one. He yawned several times, his mind still numb with drowsiness. Then, he remembered . Kirk chuckled softly, wondering what Spock's reaction had been to waking up in bed with his captain naked as the day they were born.") (14)
  • Drought, poem by Natasha Solten (39)
  • A Letter Never Sent, poem by Natasha Solten (39)
  • In the Mind's Eye, poem by Lyon (40)
  • Riders on the Wind - Ann Carver. (A/U: On an unknown planet, two riders appear to the natives near where two starfleet officers died in a shuttle crash. "Grandmother! Grandmother!" the young girl cried as she raced into the house. "I have seen a marvelous thing!" "And what is that, my child?" Two men on great white stallions, riding the crest of the hills." "What is so unusual in that?" the old woman asked, knowing already the answer. "They wore no clothes.") (42)
  • Pairs, poem by Lisa Joas (45)
  • Patience and the Mulberry Leaf by Tere Ann Roderick (After his pon farr, Spock and Kirk discuss becoming lovers but Spock asks Kirk to take 10 months to be sure of his choice.) (46)
  • Flames, poem by Jean Schnedler (63)
  • The Bare Truth - Donna Rose Vanderlaan. (Kirk tricks Spock into visiting a nudist colony. "I've never seen a Vulcan nude," one of them said. "Maybe they don't even have sex organs. How about it, Kirk?" "I really don't know," he thoughtfully answered. "I never thought about it, just assumed they were like anyone else never bothered to look it up and, come to think about it, I've never seen our first officer undressed." The subject changed and was forgotten, but the idea had been planted.") (64)
  • Afterglow, poem by Jean Schnedler (78)
  • The Second Door, poem by Natasha Solten (79)
  • Heartlights by Roberta Haga (2 weeks after becoming lovers, Kirk and Spock accept an undercover mission where Kirk must be changed into a female in order to trap a smuggler.) (80)
  • The Prince of Darkness, poem by Pam Smith (100b)
  • The Offering, poem by Natasha Solten (121)
  • The Butterfly -- or The Moth, poem by Jean Schneler (122)
  • Desert Rain, poem by Kathy Tipton (124)
  • Night Rose - Jenny Starr. (In his journal Kirk relates how on a diplomatic mission on Argelius, he finds Spock at a gay bar and how both confess their love for each other. "I have to get this down somewhere. Somewhere in words, somewhere on paper where I can see it. I don't know. Just so I can convince myself it really happened, I guess. So I'm writing it here in my personal log. Not the taped personal log but my own handwritten one. The one Starfleet doesn't know about.") (126)
  • Through the Rain, poem by Robin Hood (149)
  • The Deadly Cycle by Theresa Hernandez (Spockʼs POV after the Koonakalifee as Kirk prevents his suicide by giving himself to Spock.) (150)
  • Acquainted with the Night - Lyon. (Spock wakens Kirk from a nightmare and they are drawn together by their shared experience when Spock shows him the meld he had with Van Gelder while Kirk was being tortured on the Tantalus colony. "He could not suppress a smile at the incongruity of their determined use of formal titles. "Spock ," he whispered again. " I think I ought to 'warn' you." He hesitated, clearing his throat unnecessarily. "I've never done this. With a man. Before." The Vulcan was silent, and Kirk watched the sharply carved profile assume an expression of judicial consideration. Finally Spock turned his head to meet the human's concerned, expectant gaze. "I have never done this. Before." "Oh.") (150)
  • Asylum, poem by Susan Catlin (177)
  • First Time, poem by Lyon (179)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 6

See reactions and reviews for Heartlights.
See reactions and reviews for Acquainted with the Night.
See reactions and reviews for Hide and Seek.
See reactions and reviews for The Bare Truth.
See reactions and reviews for Riders on the Wind.
See reactions and reviews for The Deadly Cycle.
See reactions and reviews for Patience and the Mulberry Leaf.
See reactions and reviews for Night Rose.
See reactions and reviews for Settled.
See reactions and reviews for The Deadly Cycle.
[zine]: Last month, desperate for KS, I plunged my hand one night into the bookcase that holds all my KS zines. Somehow I pulled out FT 6. It got me through the night and took me down memory lane on a nostalgic trip. The stories were typed, the print very light, there were a few typos that had been corrected by pen. It was so enjoyable! It brought me back to those years when I worked like that, cutting and pasting and scotch-taping all the pieces together and then running off to the printers to meet a deadline for a story submission. Those were the days! And reading it made me so happy to have this glorified typewriter that is my old computer. I just want to say the stories were wonderful, sweet and simple and such fun to read. [11]

Issue 7

front cover of issue #7 by Gayle F. Some art reviewers have appreciated the curves and sinuous lines of the bodies. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.
back cover issue #7, 1st edition by Gayle F.. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.
inside art from issue #7, artist unknown

First Time 7 was published in October 1986 and contains 200 pages. It is labeled as a "Contest Zine." The contents were initially published without artist or author names (revealed in issue #10).

The front and back covers are by Gayle F. The interior art is by Chris Soto, Amason, and Shellie Whild.

  • Empire Reflections - A.T. Bush (p. 4-23). (M/U: Pike is dying, so he sets up Kirk to be the next captain of the Enterprise with Spock to support and advise him. Kirk strode briskly around the busy bridge collecting and correlating ship's reports while Captain Pike indolently lolled in the command chair his still injured leg elevated on a temporary stool. Kirk carefully avoided bumping the hazard. He was new to the ship and still on 'probation.'")
  • The Gamblers - Dovya Blacque (p. 24-36) [also in Shadows in the Rain]. (A month after Psi 2000, Kirk discovers that Spock never received the antidote for the virus and indeed, does not desire to. "In the near-darkness of his cabin, Spock remained still, uncertain what even the most minute movement on his part might set in motion in his suddenly rebelling system. He didn't notice the green moisture pooling in his palms from bitten nails; he didn't notice the swelling of his lower lip where he continued to bite himself; he didn't notice the fever and sorrow building to the breaking point. He didn't notice as tears steadily streamed down his cheeks . . . ")
  • Still Waters - Alexis Fegan Black (p. 37-49). (About to leave Vulcan after the Koonakalifee, Kirk learns that Spock is to bond with another Vulcan woman once they return from the Altair ceremony. "I have been matched to T'Sheir." It was a statement of fact which made Kirk blink as he stood looking at his first officer in the turbolift. A cold feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, gradually working its way up to his throat. But instead of the response he had expected, Spock replied coolly: "My matching to T'Sheir had nothing to do with T'Pau." He paused while Kirk felt his own heart racing. "The decision was mine."
  • A Study in Green - Augusta Elton (second place winner) (p. 50-74). (After Spock links with the Medusan Kolos, Kirkʼs jealousy threatens to drive Spock away, until he finally admits to what he is feeling. "In the place where Kirk would have expected the fireshrine to be, stood a satiny metal box. The lid must have made the tiny noise he heard, for it was open slightly and from beneath it flooded the quaking, pulsing blue radiance which he had somehow confused with the flickering red flame. As he watched, realizing what it was, the lid began to rise and the intense blue glare brightened and spilled a light too bright to see over the sleeper."
  • The Taking - Charlotte Frost (p. 76-88). (The day after his contact with VʼGer Spock goes to Kirk, his intent to make his captain his lover. "Humans call it 'turning over a new leaf.' Vulcans use no such phrasing, for Vulcans, as a rule, do not make a practice of changing their philosophies. But I am only half-Vulcan, and that admission no longer brings me shame."
  • Bright Star - Roberta Haga (first prize winner) (p. 90-109) (The day after she graduates from Starfleet Academy, McCoy tells Kirk and Spockʼs daughter about her parents, their lives and death together. "T'aiya was quiet for a moment, then she gathered her courage and asked the question she'd held in for years. "You knew my parents, Bones. Why have you never told me of them?" The blue eyes were steady as he answered. "I've waited for you to ask about them. You never seemed interested T'aiya, your father was Spock . . . "
  • Eternity's Child - Jenny Starr (p. 124-166). (When accidently placed in 20th century America instead of ancient Greece, Kirk and Spock hide in a deserted lighthouse until theyʼre to be picked up. "The pre-dawn stillness was broken only by the sounds of quiet voices and bird calls. As the voices drew nearer, even the birds hushed their strident singing to listen to the rise and fall of the words of these interlopers into their early-morning domain. "Eddies of time be damned, Spock. I still don't understand how we could have undershot our target this much.")
  • When the Skies Fill With Sand - Natasha Solten (p. 168-190) (Spock takes 2 weeks leave on Vulcan, and when Kirk joins him he learns the reason for the leave is that Amanda has died. "Vulcan sends greetings and welcome," Uhura said, turning from her panel. "Acknowledge." Kirk waved his hand and swiveled back to face the dry, desert planet before them. It swam in shades of red and orange, swirling as though huge winds buffeted the surface. Over one tiny quarter of the sphere, a grey sheet clouded the atmosphere, dulling the sharp patches of red that bled through orange and ocher masses. Sand storm, Kirk mused, staring at the blotch. Vulcan rain, he thought, a touch on the poetic side, when the skies fill with sand and flood the streets with dust.")
  • The Heart is Forever - Theresa Hernandez (p. 192-199). (After the fal tor pan, Spock goes to Kirk, who has been unable to come to terms with his grief. "He comes here every day at this time to be alone. A man has a right to solitude and I have respected his privacy thus far. But today I have followed him down this winding path unable to any longer keep my distance. A cluster of palm trees hide me from sight; trees transplanted from another world. A gift from one desert to another. Brought from Earth by Sarek, to make a Human wife smile. Love has many forms of expressing itself. How long it took me to learn that lesson . . .")
  • Thrednody, poem by Janis E. Laine
  • Separate Secrets, poem by Lyon
  • Keeping Busy, poem by Roberta
  • The First Time, poem by Leslie Fish
  • Love's Children, poem by Shllie While
  • A Call to Your Heart, poem by Theresa Hernandez
  • Damn You, poem by Roberta
  • Through the Fire, poem by Leslie FIsh
  • NIghtdance, poem by Dovya Blacque
  • Another Wasted Day, poem by Mary Williams
  • Only You, poem by Theresa Hernandez
  • To Hold a Snowflake, poem by Donna Rose Vanderlaan
  • The Charmer, poem by Mary Williams
  • Reasons, poem by Vera Barga
  • His Eyes, poem by Mary Williams
  • Fire in the Rain, poem by Alexis Fegan Black
  • It's Raining Again, poem by Vera Barga
  • Silent Running, poem by Chris Soto (first place winner, with a 75% vote)
  • To Be the Last, poem by Roberta
  • Need, poem by Vera Barga
  • I Had a Dream, poem by Ann Carver
  • A Definition, poem by Shellie Whild
  • In a Rainforest, poem by Vera Barga
  • Sole Blame, poem by Roberta
  • Iowa October, poem by Alexis Fegan Black
  • The Little Things, poem by Donna Rose Vanderlaan
  • Passions, poem by Dovya Blacque
  • Prisms, poem by Dovya Blacque
  • Safari, poem by Janis Laine
  • The Sad Smile, poem by Donna Rose Vanderlaan

Art:

  • Daydreams by Shellie Whild
  • Young Warriors by Dragon
  • Eridanian by Jackie Zoost
  • Midnight Ramblings by Vel Jaeger
  • A Taste of Wine by Gayle F
  • Memories by Shellie Whild
  • Star Prince by Chris Soto
  • Bold by Jackie Zoost
  • Two Vulcans by Dragon
  • Obession by Vel Jaeger
  • The Reaper by Chris Soto (first place winner)
  • Lion Eyes, by Lyon (may be a poem, rather than art)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 7

[zine]: First Time 7 is a contest zine, containing the entrants to be voted upon by the readers. Voting is over, the results are in and will be announced in First Time 9. As this is a contest issue, there are no authors, poets or artists names listed.

My vote for best story went to WHEN THE SKIES FILL WITH SAND. Now, I'm pretty sure I know who the author is and, since voting is over, I could make the guess here, but it would be somewhat embarrassing to be wrong in print! Anyway, my guess is that Natasha Solten wrote this lovely story of Spock's return to Vulcan for 'personal reasons', as he tells Kirk...and is quick to assure his captain that he is not returning for 'health reasons' . Two weeks after Spock has returned to Vulcan, the ENTERPRISE arrives in orbit and Kirk beams down to Sarek's home, unannounced. The situation he discovers is very poignant, the insight into Spock's upbringing, his life an Vulcan and his relationship with his parents very touching. I could take a guess at some of the other authors represented here, but the above mentioned author is the only one I feel confident about! Other stories include STILL WATERS, an extremely well-written story dealing with Spock's discovery that he really doesn't want that Vulcan female he's arranged to be bonded to. THE GAMBLERS, a post-NAKED TIME story working on the premise that Spock never received his shot curing him of the disease. A well-written, well-told but somewhat uninspired story. A STUDY. IN GREEN, in which Kirk deals with his rather unbelievable jealousy of Kolos as regards Spock. This one bothered me in the depiction of Kirk. I just can't see the author's viewpoint, her interpretation of his reaction to the offered premise. THE TAKING is a very unusual story. It's told first person, present tense from Spock's POV and is somewhat reminiscent of a medical text in it's explicit, enact accounting of each move Spock makes in his seduction of Kirk. But it has its points! BRIGHT STAR bored me badly. This is the tale of Kirk and Spock's daughter whom Kirk bore after having changed into a woman through The Procrustean Petard. She's been raised by McCoy, unaware of her parentage, because both Kirk and Spock were killed when she was only an infant. Sorry, boring. ETERNITY'S CHILD is a very well-written story that many metaphysical possibilities but doesn't quite follow through with them. I enjoyed it, however. The last story, THE HEART IS FOREVER, has completely left my memory.. .which says enough about the story! And poetry. . .have we got poetry! There are 32 poems entered in the contest, many completely unremarkable, several exceptional. SAFARI is a masterpiece of rhyming prose. I'm not a fan of rhyming poetry, but this one is so well done, the rhyme so well thought out, that even I like it! PRISMS, THE SAD SMILE, and LION EYES are my favorites. There is also a Dovya Blacque poem on the title page that is not in the contest. Whatever you like in poetry, you're sure to find an example of it somewhere in this zine! On to the art. The [Gayle F]covers, which are very explicit and very lovely — especially the back cover — are not in the contest. Having an eye for art and artists, the entrants in this phase of the contest are much easier to identify. Represented here are Shellie Whild, Dragon, Jeager, [Gayle F], Soto, and a few I can't identify. My vote for best art went to "Star Prince", a Soto piece. There is a wide variety of art entered, it will be interesting to see who's won!

This is a very unusual volume, yet it holds up well to the First Time name and the usual quality that goes with it. This is a recommended read, even if you can't vote anymore. Besides, once the results are printed, it might be just as much fun to go back and see if you agree with those results or would have picked something else. A good read, a recommended zine. [12]
See reactions and reviews for Bright Star.
See reactions and reviews for The Taking.
See reactions and reviews for A Study in Green.
See reactions and reviews for Eternity's Child.
See reactions and reviews for The Gamblers.
See reactions and reviews for Still Waters.
See reactions and reviews for When the Skies Fill With Sand.
See reactions and reviews for Empire Reflections.
See reactions and reviews for The Heart is Forever.

Issue 8

First Time 8 was published in November 1986 and contains 176 pages. It is a novel by Kathy Tipton called "Time Enough."

front cover of issue #8, Chris Soto
back cover of issue #8, Chris Soto

The covers and art are by Chris Soto.

Publisher's summary: "A story about Kirk's realization of his feelings for Spock. When an alien female is hired by Starfleet as a private security officer, Kirk is incensed and confused. With unusual delicacy, the mysterious woman weaves her way into Kirk's heart. Evil is afoot, along with sex and murder. Kirk must choose between the lovely alien and the Vulcan..."

Summary by Gilda F: "The Enterprise is used as transport for a new weapon and Kirk finds himself first at odds, and then in an affair with the head of security for it."

From The Zine Connection #34: "An alien, female private security officer is hired by Starfleet. Kirk is incensed and confused. With unusual delicacy she weaves her way into the heart and soul of the ship and into Kirk's heart to join our Vulcan there. But there's only room for one...."

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 8

I enjoyed most of this zine, though I have a few nits to pick; my first complaint is that there was no suspense as to who the villain was. I had a very good idea who it was as soon as the character was described. (LOC for the author -- next time have another heavy who it might be.) I also had a few qualms about the violence against the female character in the story, and that the outcome of this is what gets Kirk and Spock to acknowledge their feelings. A brief synopsis so everyone won't yell at me: Kirk receieved orders from Star Fleet regarding an upcoming mission in which Spock is to be in charge and any information is to be revealed on a 'need to know' basis. A terrific female character is introduced (an alien) which causes sparks to fly among Kirk, Spock, and McCoy (jealousy). There are Klingons, an open planet, and an interesting device which requires the user to have great PSI ability. There is one wonderfully erotic love scene between Kirk and Spock towards the end of the zine, and a nice love scene between Kirk and the female character. One other small complaint; can we please have a little less guilt regarding Kirk and Spock? I am tired of the breast beating that goes on between those two. The story is structured quite well, and was a fun read. I will continue to look for future stories from this author. [13]
TIME ENOUGH is 176 pages of very good story telling. Unlike many K/S novels, the story here does not depend on misunderstandings between Kirk and Spock, one of them being kidnaped, one of them being tortured or any of the other more common devices used to stretch what would have been a good short story into a novel. In TIME ENOUGH, every word is needed here, there is no 'blank air'. The plot is a complicated one involving a secret device/weapon, visiting security consultants, the alien inventor of the device, secrets held and secrets revealed, interwoven emotional tangles and more than a little tension and angst for our beloved captain. The aliens in the story, notably Rayya, are very well written and very believable. Played against the other alien present, A' SxT, Rayya is especially intriguing and 'real'. A security consultant of the highest degree, Rayya is also an excellent plot device used to display Kirk's and Spock's unusual closeness. She is also, in the end of the story, the cause of much anxious page turning on my part. The resolution of the entire situation is so fast paced, so tense, and I became so caught up in it, that I found myself both wanting the story to end so I could know how everything turns out and not wanted the story to end so I could experience the adrenalin rush along with the characters a little longer. But, once reached, the resolution holds up very well to the rest of the story and is very satisfying. The K/S element is touched on throughout the entire novel with hints and shy eye contact, but the 'heavy stuff' comes at the end, where it receives full attention from both the author and the reader. Coming at the end as it does, the love scene in TIME ENOUGH is like a long bath after a difficult day; its a reward for having made it through the emotional roller coaster of the rest of the novel. The art in TIME ENOUGH is all pencil work by Chris Soto. Being an avid fan of Chris' work, I was a bit disappointed in her art here. Most of the drawings are very stilted with little or no emotion evident. The one piece I did like, the Kirk on the cover, was unsupported by the rest of the drawing. Personally, I much prefer what I've seen of Chris' pen and ink; there seems to be more depth to the drawings, more emotion in the eyes. The art doesn't detract from the story, but it doesn't enhance the story either, which art should do in a novel. TIME ENOUGH is a very good, satisfying read. In the past, I've been disappointed in most of the K/S novels I've read. Not so with TIME ENOUGH. lf you're looking for an enjoyable read with good plot, good characterization, and good K/S, I can whole heartedly recommend TIME ENOUGH. [14]
One well-plotted, well-paced K/S novel I've enjoyed lately is 'Time Enough.' It is unusual in that it doesn't even read like a K/S novel until the final chapter. Most of the story centers on Kirk's relationship with the female character of an independent security agency that has been assigned to the Enterprise. I found it fast-moving, suspenseful, and well-written. The story does have some flaws, most notable, Kirk appearing weak and somewhat childish in a few spots, but overall, I found it a very good read. The cover and interior art by Chris Soto were the best I've seen from her. [15]
Although many fans would be bothered by the fact that neither Kirk nor Spock even think in terms of sex with each other until very late in the novel, that didn't bother me. The K/S resolution was much more intense because it waited until the end. My problems were with other aspects of the novel. For instance, TIME ENOUGH deals with a device that can only be utilized by individuals with high telepathic potential, and its main use seems to be as a weapon. Kathy should have shown Spock in inner conflict about using his abilities that way. Then there's the sloppiness during the shore leave. They had a shore leave for appearance's sake, but it made no sense to have no security whatsoever on a planet crawling with Klingons. Surely they could have had an out of uniform security detail inconspicuously tailing Kirk and Rayya. So it was Kirk's fault that Rayya was kidnapped. He should have thought about protection measures. Also, the Klingons could never have transported Rayya's dress and hair aboard the Enterprise—not because the ships were moving, but because their shields were up. You can't transport anything through shields. Later Kirk and Spock were able to transport aboard the Klingon vessel to rescue Rayya. It was too convenient that the Klingons had let down their shields because they were far away from the Enterprise, but they weren't far enough away to be out of transporter range! I'd really like to see more careful plotting. [16]
A short time ago I read this story and I was fascinated by the writing style of Kathy Tipton. She gives the characters such life. The gripping story (telling us about a new weapon, a mysterious inventor, A'SxT, and a beautiful woman called Rayya) is written like a puzzle: you can't stop reading, because you keep wanting another piece to look at the whole picture! I like the description of A'SxT with his unusual eating habits ("CRUNCH...CRACK", p. 68) and the characterization of Rayya -- a strong woman, who has much in common with Kirk. The weak point (in ay eyes) is that it is -- aside from the beautiful happy ending on the last pages- - rather a K/R (R [equals] Rayya) than a K/S story! I miss the thrilling feeling (regarding Kirk and Spock) in the rest of the story. It is depressing to read about 160 pages until I get to the point where the two are really interested in each other. I mean, not necessarily the sex (of course, I like this too...), but the warm feelings between the two of them. Well, they thought about each other, but that was too subconscious. [17]

Issue 9

back cover of issue #9, Chris Soto
front cover issue #9, 1st edition by Chris Soto -- "I did want to say something about Chris Soto's art work on the cover of issue #9... I didn't get a chance to talk about them in my editorial. I know by the time you read this that I will have reveived [sic] numerous loc's about their beauty... (haven't I just!!) Chris is a marvel, so easy to work with, fast, and so wonderfully good. (witness the art if FT8(. Thanks Christine. I've been accused of keeping her chained beneath my bathroom sink (along with others) What can I say. It's true!. And I don't regret it. I'm a hog, and I've learned to live with it." [18]


First Time 9 was published in January 1987, is 182 pages long and contains 12 stories plus many poems and illustrations. It was nominated for at least one Surak Award.

From the editorial regarding art:
Zines cannot be done without these people. Go through a zine and look at what makes it worth looking at (not the reading, that's the authors [sic] duty) what you think is pretty is the artists in whatever form they take and while I don't always have a lot of art, I do try to have art worthy of being looked at. Thank you all.
From the editorial regarding disclaimers:
Ah... the disclaimer (yawn). Now, what can I say that's new and different?? I have it! I don't care who this insults (with the exception of Mr. Shatner, Mr. Nimoy and of course, Mr. Roddenberry) But if I'm ever taken to court (or you see me on entertainment tonight) I'll deny that that I had anything to do with this!
  • First Time (poem) by Susan Catlin (1)
  • Now or Never by Venisa Duvetyn (4) (Spock goes to his captainʼs cabin in the middle of thenight with plans to remove his link to Kirk that drew him from Gol.)
  • Reflections in a Looking Glass (poem) by Theresa Hernandez (10)
  • art by Chris Soto (11)
  • Watching the Sunrise - Vera Barga. (Kirk finds that his sexual orientation has changed since his tranference with Janice Lester and that his love for Spock has expanded to include sexual desire. "Now that the situation was over, he was required to analyze it. How had it affected him his command his relationships with the crew and his officers? Starfleet did not require this, he did. . . ") (12)
  • art by Jackie Zoost (17)
  • Drink to Me Only - Leigh Biedeaux. (While waiting for Spock to join him at dinner, Kirk uses his drink to fantasize about being with Spock. "Kirk hurried into the bar, taking a moment to shake the raindrops from his hair, wiping the water from his face and gold-clad arms and chest. Only then did he look up to get his bearings. "Wow!" came an appreciative exclamation. This isn't your run-of-the-mill bar. Or restaurant either, for that matter. . . ") (28)
  • Dear Mentor (poem) by Ciana Sepulveda (32)
  • art by Chris Soto (33)
  • Possessed! - Augusta Elton. (Kirk is angered by Spockʼs fleeting thoughts during their meld of what it would be like if Kirk remained trapped in Janice Lesterʼs body. "What did it mean, that look? I cannot match it with any expression I have ever seen. It had, in its characteristics of narrowed, darkened eyes and set lip, the expression of anger, yet it was not anger alone; it had a mixture of . Of betrayal, yes. I have seen that looking out through the eyes of another recently.") (34)
  • art by Chris Soto (37)
  • Face to Face - Pat Charles. (Kirk has two weeks to lose the weight he gained while he and Spock were on a diplomatic mission. "How can you have gained that much weight?" demanded Doctor Leonard McCoy. "I've only been away a month, and look at you." He prodded accusingly at the captain's well-covered ribcage. "What have you been doing . .  ?") (54)
  • art by Dragon (67)
  • Alien Seas (poem) by Lisa Joas (71)
  • Autumn of My Life (poem) by Pam Smith (72)
  • art by Shellie Whild (73)
  • Private Moments - Charlotte Frost. (McCoy orders Kirk and a still disturbed Spock on medical leave after they are rescued from the Klingons who beat and tortured them. "Kirk was unable to suppress a groan as he attempted to straighten himself from his sagging position. Everything hurt. But most annoying was having his hands chained together above his head. He had been in that position for countless hours, and any weight taken off his weary feet put even more unbearable pressure on his weary arms.") (74)
  • art by Dragon (99)
  • A New Technique (poem) by Ciana Sepulveda (101)
  • art by Tina (102)
  • Shadow Dancing by Theresa Hernandez (103)
  • Pillow Talk by Roberta Haga (104)
  • Through Raindrops and Sunshine - Sandee Maxwell. (Spockʼs reality or Kirkʼs dream in an alternate universe. "Keen blue eyes took in the haunted features and the too-lean frame of the approaching figure. The past five months had taken their toll. McCoy understood how the Vulcan felt. There had been nothing that they could have done, however, to prevent the tragedy. His duty, though, was to the living. It was time for them to put the past into perspective.") (108)
  • Night Visions (poem) by Karn Wills (114)
  • art by Shellie Whild (114)
  • Meaning, the Unknown (poem) by Jean Schnedler (115)
  • art by Shellie Whild (115)
  • Call Me Jim! by Michelle Baker (116) (Kirk wonders if Spock truly remembers him as they become acquainted with the Enterprise-A.)
  • art by Alayne (119)
  • First Time, Last Time, Forever (poem) by Roberta (123)
  • art by Shellie Whild (123)
  • Treasures of the Heart (poem) by Donna Rose Vanderlaan (124)
  • art by Shellie Whild (124)
  • Star Tripper by Dovya Blacque (A/U: One year after Spock takes a position on Vulcan at the end of the 5 year mission, he returns to Earth and finds, through Kirkʼs neighbor, that Kirkʼs lonliness surpasses his own.) (125) (also in Shadows in the Rain)
  • art by Gayle F (143)
  • Memories and Pledges by Natasha Solten (Kirkʼs anger over Spockʼs remark regarding their mission in Earthʼs past brings about a confrontation. ) (144)
  • art by Chris Soto (146)
  • Storm Warning (poem) by Dovya Blacque (151)
  • art by SBL (151)
  • Souis (poem) by Lisa Joas (152)
  • art by Chris Meyers (152) (name is spelled this way on the TOC)
  • Crying in the Rain (poem) by Robin hood (153)
  • art by Shellie Whild (153)
  • And Mate in One - Roberta Haga. (Spock starts sending Kirk confusing messages of a personal nature while on a mission away from the ship. "Captain, I trust this message finds you well. I am extremely sorry to have to report that due to equipment malfunction, the research has been delayed and now looks to need an unspecified amount of time to complete." A pause Kirk heard a deep breath. "T'hy'la, my dreams are filled with you, and though my days are busy, there is a second in every minute when I think of you. This is our first time apart, and I have discovered the true meaning of the words I miss you. Spock." Kirk keyed the computer to put the message into his personal file. "What the fuck is he talking about?" he murmured.") (154)
  • art by Christine Meyers (163) [name is spelled this way on the TOC]
  • The Fourth Horseman (poem) by Karn Wills (182)
  • Such is Love (poem) by Roberta (183)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 9

See reactions and reviews for Drink to Me Only.
See reactions and reviews for And Mate in One.
See reactions and reviews for Private Moments.
See reactions and reviews for Star Tripper.
See reactions and reviews for Memories and Pledges.
See reactions and reviews for Call Me Jim!.
See reactions and reviews for Through Raindrops and Sunshine.
See reactions and reviews for Face to Face.
See reactions and reviews for Possessed!.
See reactions and reviews for Watching the Sunrise.
See reactions and reviews for Now or Never.
[art by Chris Soto on page 33]: What would seem a simple picture; Kirk and Spock in silhouette as Spock remembers his lover after the fal tor pan. But in front, Saavik watches her mentor. Her gaze is caught by the two men as they are drawn to each other. And her eyes are filled with wonder. The balance of the two, Kirk and Spock almost ethereal, Saavik solidly substantial, is perfect. [19]
[zine]: First Time #9 was presented in January of 1987. With its outstanding Chris Soto covers that no one will be able to match (although many will try) it is another good read in the First Time line.

The zine begins with a Janice Lester take-off story. I happen to love that episode, perhaps because it allowed Mr. Shatner full rein, and he did a wonderful job playing a woman in a man s body. The story is by Vera Barga. I like her work, don't love it, but it was entertaining.

The second story, DRINK TO ME ONLY by Leigh Biedeaux (a less than original pen name) was light fluff. Not badly written and a good last line.

POSSESSED, the third story, is by an author I've not read before (one of Ms. Hood's stable?) While I did receive unusual feelings reading the script, I thoroughly enjoyed the different phrasing of the author. Truly different writing. It is another Janice Lester story, and as opposite from the first as trees and bark. Worth reading if only for the writing style alone.

THROUGH RAINDROPS AND SUNSHINE, by Sandee Maxwell, was a story from Spock's point of view, a dream, that surprised me. ! haven't seen Ms. Maxwell's work before except for numerous dull poems. This story had a distinct flavor of a poet but wasn't poetry. Very refreshing and a different look at our Vulcan.

CALL ME JIM by Michelle Baker. The line we were all looking for from the fourth movie. Trust it to show up in FT. IT is the first end of Trek 4 that made it into print, and a completely logical one at that. With the one piece of art, by a new artist (Alayne — new artist? Old writer?) it is very enjoy- able.

Speaking of STAR TRIPPER by Dovya Blacque is a sweet mood piece of Kirk and Spock reunited after a long separation, written in Ms. Blacque's poetic style. Exactly what you've been looking for before the fire with a bottle of wine, the zine and yourself.

MEMORIES AND PLEDGES by Natasha Solten is a Trek IV story, but taken from the middle of the movie and it's wonderful. I won't tell you more than that, you have to read it.

...AND MATE IN ONE by Roberta is the most innovative story I've read in awhile. A captured Spock sends a very interesting communication to a puzzled Kirk on board the Enterprise. The fun is when Kirk gets over his short embarrassment and realizes that the Vulcan is truly in trouble and not just out of his head. I really like Roberta's writing and seem to find the best of it in FT — one reason I keep reading FT's first.

The art in FTs are normally very good — if the editor can't find enough good art, she doesn't use filler. Sometimes makes for a bare zine, but at least there's no bad art. With lovely work by Shellie Whild to complement poetry and such, to the magnificent covers by Chris Soto (who has outdone herself this time), the zine is impressive. The covers alone are a statement and must be seen — both front and back Her inside work ?s equally as good. There is one Spock, taken from Trek IV, that stops your heart A very nice nude by 'Tina', whose style I don't recognize, but if she's willing to do nudes, I'd love to get to know her. [Gayle F's] is very nice — what else? A great Christine Meyers was in this K/S zine as well. Besides Tina, there was a new artist, SBL, with an unusual style. Very interesting.

The poetry was superb. Karn Wills is becoming known to me and ! really like the down-to-earth feeling in her work. And Jean Schnedler as well. I don't get to see her work as often as I'd like hut what there is is excellent. My favorite poetry in the zine is Ciana Sepulveda and Theresa Hernandez jointly. Wonderfully reminiscent of Robin Hood's or A.F. Black's hard-hitting short prose type of poetry.

With one slight problem with a couple of pages missing from one of the stories (and the editor sends along an explanation with the missing pages), the zine is good looking; slick without being expensive.

Well worth keeping for your collection![20]

Issue 10

back cover of issue #10, 1st edition by Gayle F. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.
front cover issue #10, 1st edition by Gayle F.. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.

First Time 10 was published in April 1987 and contains 177 pages. It was nominated for at least one Surak Award.

The front and back covers are by Gayle F. The interior art is by Dragon, Sharon Delon, SHaga (sig on illo on page 158, not credited in the table of contents), Chris Soto, Shellie Whild, and Jackie Zoost.

  • First Time, poem by Susan Catlin (1)
  • Mercy - Mara Lynn Cade (Kirk thinks heʼs killed Spock when they are taken prisoner and Spock is surgically mind-wiped, but after being rescued, he finds that Spock is alive but still a slave. "Spock!" Kirk's cry was an involuntary response of relief. The past six days had been a nightmare of not knowing, of fearing the worst. But the dark head did not lift at his call. It remained bowed over their captor's feet. Fear surged anew within the imprisoned captain. What had Raetivar, the self-proclaimed ruler of this private planetary hellhole, done to Spock?") (4)
  • poem by Roberta (41)
  • Eye of the Tiger, poem by Sharon Delon (43)
  • Green-Eyed Monster - Mary Urbanski (While at a diplomatic party, Kirk is upset by the attention given to Spock by the females of the planet and then by the crewwomen on the ship. "Bones, where have you been hiding all evening?" "Been right here . . . . " Spotting a vacant table off to one side, the doctor gestured toward it with his hand. "You look beat, Jim. Car to sit for a spell?" Kirk smiled wearily. "Sounds good." The captain dropped himself heavily into the huge chair. Everything on Akhtar was oversized. It had to be. The planet's inhabitants were all towering. The average height of an Akhtarian was eight feet. The fact that his feet dangled over the edge of the chair, unable to reach the floor by a good foot, only served to lengthen Kirk's ever-mounting list of irritations. He began a slow boil.") (44)
  • poem by Roberta (66)
  • The Search for Spock, poem by Natasha Solten (67)
  • Memory Again, poem by Natasha Solten (67)
  • Should I Follow My Head or My Heart? - S/K (After Spock is hurt in an accident, Kirk realizes his feelings for him and giving them an added push, McCoy sets up shore leave for them together. "His face contorted as he stared at the screen before him. Quickly, the shock changed to anger when he realized the intrusion into the medical records of the Enterprise personnel files and, worse yet, his own personal files. The screen scrolled down the list of attempts to break his access code, numbering at least one hundred. Some of the attempts were close, too close for comfort as far as the doctor was concerned.") (68)
  • Death of a Friend, poem by Natasha Solten (reprinted in More Missions, More Myths #8) (87)
  • Amor Vincit Omnia - Pat Charles (Kirk and Spock plan on becoming lovers during their next shore leave but are thwarped time and again by circumstance. "The gazed at their surroundings. "Not quite the luxury I had in mind, Spock. Functional is about all you can say for it." "It is perfectly adequate for our needs, Jim." "Guess so, but there's not much privacy." "Regretfully, not as much as in our original accommodation." And you can read into that whatever you want to hear, thought Kirk. Enigmatic Vulcan!") (88)
  • Touchstone, poem by Susan Catlin (108)
  • Captain of My Soul, poem by Janis E. Laine (109)
  • Desert Rendezvous, poem by T'hera (110)
  • Desert Dreaming, poem by T'hera (111)
  • The Variegation Complication - Ande Hughes (Spock is helped to escape from the Romulans by a shapeshifter from another galaxy, here to study the life forms of this galaxy. "Images faded in and out. Laughing, sneering faces. Hate! Pain! It seared through his mind, red hot, tearing at his thoughts. Probing, pulling, trying to get . . . . No! his mind screamed. They will never find out. Control! More pain, deep, ripping, digging, trying to reveal what he kept hidden from them.") (112)
  • Feathered Fronds, poem by Sharon Eldon (131)
  • The Bravest of Men - Dovya Blacque (Kirk is depressed and on edge and when Spock finds out why, he offers a “logical” solution to both their needs. "Spock watched as Kirk exited his bathroom draped in a large, green robe and plopped sulkily into the chair opposite him. The moment Spock had entered the cabin, he'd sensed tension in the air . . . and had smelled the lingering tartness of male.") (132)
  • Into Love - Roberta Haga (McCoy badgers Kirk into going on shore leave with Spock so they can both be laid, but when Spock is told he suggests a unique solution. "I don't care what you don't wanna do. It's either that or a battery of tranquilizers. And THEY go on your medical record, Captain. Now get out of here and do as you're told. And take Spock with you," McCoy called after the retreating gold back. "Maybe getting him laid will get you in the mood. He's not in much better shape than you are!") (138)
  • Kirk and Clouds, poem by Diane Seaton (174)
  • Circles, poem by Ann Carver (175)
  • Caged, poem by Kathy Tipton (176)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 10

See reactions and reviews for The Variegation Complication.
See reactions and reviews for Mercy.
See reactions and reviews for Into Love.
See reactions and reviews for The Bravest of Men.
See reactions and reviews for Should I Follow My Head or My Heart?.
See reactions and reviews for Green-Eyed Monster.

First Time 11-63

References

  1. from The K/S Press #9.
  2. from a February 21, 2013 email from Vel to Mrs. Potato Head, quoted with permission.
  3. from Not Tonight, Spock! #9
  4. from Treklink #3
  5. from Datazine #39
  6. from the zine's editorial
  7. from Datazine #39
  8. from The LOC Connection #9
  9. from On the Double #1
  10. from Universal Translator #31
  11. from The K/S Press #124 (2006)
  12. from On the Double #2
  13. from Datazine #47
  14. from Datazine #49
  15. from Treklink #8
  16. from The LOC Connection #17
  17. from The LOC Connection #37
  18. from the editor in First Time #10
  19. from The K/S Press #77
  20. from On the Double