First Time (Star Trek: TOS zine)/Issues 51-60

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Issue 51

front cover #51, IM Mueller -- "Boldly striped robes, heavy Arabian nights looking background. Add to this the look of complete concentration on the face of warrior Kirk and you have the beginnings of mystery and the lure of the unusual. Something missing? Ah. Spock, with the same flowing robes and an even more exotic look, caresses Kirk’s face with long, sensitive fingers. Kirk responds by touching them with just the tip of his tongue, tasting their forbidden flavor. This is an excellent rendition of how Kirk and Spock might look in an alien land, or a shared fantasy." [1]
covers of issue #51, IM Mueller (front) Linda Wan (back) -- about the back cover: "I sense a lazy summer afternoon in this private moment. Kirk is stretched atop a most-contented Vulcan, who has let a special smile escape as he dreams of the love they’ve just shared. Kirk sleeps too, wrapped tightly in the arms of his beloved. In deference to his heritage, Spock is covered by a blanket (not to mention a very muscular human). Kirk, however is exposed, his leg thrown casually over his lover, his balls delightfully visible between well-built thighs. So sensual! Gives me goosebumps!" [2]

First Time 51 was published in 2000 and contains 190 pages. Front cover by IM Mueller, back cover by Linda Wan, interior art by T'Shairen and Shelley Butler, poetry by Susan Sicafoosh.

  • A Day in the City by S.R. Benjamin (p. 4-19) (Kirk and Spock make love while in New York of the 1930ʼs, but problems arise when they return to the ship and their own time. "That was most disturbing. I was resting on the bed after finishing the last mnemonic memory circuit. I must have fallen asleep and dreamed. It felt very real, especially the physical contact. I am sure this cannot be the beginning of pon farr. It is a good thing that Jim is out with Edith Keeler.")
  • The Letter by Helen (p. 20-21) (Kirk send Spock a letter he wrote 30 years before and asks that if Spock feels the same way, to come to him. "He walks on the beach in the early morning, a daily ritual now. He looks forward to greeting the quiet dawn, a chance to think, to remember days past when he lived out among the stars. When he was young and strong... the universe stretched out before him and what his small contribution might be.")
  • Backrub by Virginia Sky (p. 22-37) (After Kirk and Spock return from the Shore Leave planet, they both use the lessons they learned while there to begin a relationship together. "There is a saying, 'You can never go back.' The past is past and nothing can be done to change it, not even God according to the philosopher Agathon. but what if one could step into the past... not the 'real' past but a facsimile. All the 'what ifs?' could be answered once and for all.")
  • Sadness, Loss & Love by Deanna Gray (p. 38-106) (The crew of the Enterprise meets up with the monsters of Alien. "Spock moved swiftly through the empty corridors of the Enterprise-A. His sure, steady pace gave the impression he had a purpose, an illusion he was trying to maintain. In the eight days since departing spacedock with a finally, fully functional vessel, he had taken to walking the halls late in ship's night. He grudgingly admitted his nocturnal travels through the great starship were becoming a habit.")
  • Ravage by Shelley Butler (p. 108-137) (Kirk is twice raped by Kor while he and Spock are on Organia, the entire consequences of which donʼt become apparent until theyʼve been back on the ship for a few days. "Spock looked stunning. Or so Kirk thought as he stood in the council chambers on Organia. Maybe a strange thing to think about his first officer, but then he'd been plagued by so many strange thoughts the past few days. About Spock.")
  • Tirizandi (The Matchmaker's Art) by J.S. Cavalcante / J. Hunter (p. 138-190) (After confessing their love, Kirk and Spock decide not to act on it out of fear of how Starfleet and their crew would react. Prequel: The Tirizan. "Oh, thank you. Well. I'm required to make a... what Terrans call a log record, or some such. Ha H. I could give them a log record. Oops. Please strike that last sentence. Anyway, I understand that for now, this is my personal log record, so I must record everything that happens, and I can be absolutely complete here. I'll edit later.")

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 51

See reactions and reviews for A Day in the City.
See reactions and reviews for The Letter.
See reactions and reviews for Backrub.
See reactions and reviews for Sadness, Loss & Love.
See reactions and reviews for Ravage.
See reactions and reviews for Tirizandi.
[inside back cover art by Susan Siccafoosh]: This little bit of musing by Kirk is nicely done. It is filled with a sense of happiness, which is what the human feels after a particular shore leave in which he and Spock made a startling discovery. It has a feeling of expectation, promises made and promises to keep, “for the rest of our lives”.[3]
[art on page 108, “Organian Episode” by Shelley Butler]: Not just art, but color artwork. A rarity for obvious reasons. But this picture demands no less, as it depicts Kirk and Spock from Errands of Mercy. They never looked better than in this episode, and of course this picture is a perfect compliment to the Errand story, “Ravage” which it accompanies. Kirk is obviously distressed in the picture, something we did not see in the episode, but which is a must for the trauma he underwent in “Ravage”. His hair is damp with perspiration and clinging to his forehead, further evidence of his physical and emotional state. As always, he has turned to Spock his eyes searching for understanding. Spock is intense, his look radiating concern for his human. Seeing this picture is enough to make you go back and re-read the story, it is that compelling. [4]
[art -- page 36 by T'Sharien]: This is a very sexy, abstract line drawing of Kirk doing Spock in the face-to-face position. The flowing lines nearly blend the two bodies together and the feces are hidden, but we know who is who by the differently shaped ears. However, I could also tell by the hair and bodies too. The form on top is bulkier, as Kirk would be, and the long, slender legs on the form beneath is very much Spock. The style of the drawing is different from what we may be used to in K/S but I really like it and can't help but stare every time I see it. And, well, Kirk doing Spock is a good reason too! I look forward to more from this artist in the future. [5]

{{Quotation| [art]: Oh, my goodness! There is some fantastic art in this zine! I'm still riding the high from Shore Leave and haven't settled down long enough to actually read the stories at this writing, but the art is glorious and worthy of immediate comment.

IM Mueller— This artist has arrived on the scene fairly recently, and has rapidly grown to be a favorite of mine. She just continues to get better and better. She has four pieces in this zine plus the cover, and I find it amazing that each one is done in a different style. Usually ifs relatively easy to identify each of our treasured artists by their style alone. Not so in [[IM Muellers] case.

Let's start with the cover. There's a sense of an alternate reality about it; another time and place. Wispy veils of material, bold stripes. Let your imagination go, and perhaps you're seeing Kirk and Spock dressed in robes emerging from a chieftain's tent in the Sas-i-shar Desert, or maybe that's a couch with soft pillows. I know that sounds very strange, but that's what kept me intrigued with this picture.Spock is perfect. Kirk less so, there's something wrong with the mouth and chin area, but I found myself returning to this piece over and over again.

(Facing page 19): Next up is a lovely, soft piece that reminded me instantly of The Southern Cross's work. High praise indeed. Spock and Kirk are curled together on a bed, relaxed and replete after lovemaking, (or so my imagination tells me.) They are in the captain's or first officer's cabin as stars are visible outside. Spock's head is resting against Kirk's ample chest, and a look of serenity suffuses his face. Kirk's arm surrounds him. Kirk's expression is harder to read. Protectiveness certainly, and maybe a hint of possessiveness as well. Lovely.

(Facing page 88): Now for something completely different. This is a pen and ink drawing of Spock in a ST II uniform with his body in profile, head facing the viewer. Some sort of alien creature that he doesn't seem to see is menacing him. This part of the drawing looks like a wood cut although I know ifs probably impossible to mix media that way. The sense of danger is quite remarkable and made me immediately want to read the story this picture illustrates. Wow!

(Facing page 100): Of [IM Mueller's] pictures, this one is my favorite. Kirk and Spock are kissing on the bridge. Unlikely, I know, but boy, does it work here! Done in soft pencil with beautiful detail. There's a lovely, strong emotional feel to this. Very passionate with a sense of urgency about it, as if the ship were in immediate peril and they must express their hidden feelings for each other before another minute passes. Again it was the art that made me want to read this story to see if my imaginings proved justified.

(Facing page 105): Spock penetrating Kirk as seen from the side. Spock's hips are raised off the bed with the force of his thrusts. Kirk's head is thrown back in pleasure. Long lines of their bodies. Soft shading. Very nice.

T'Shairen: Two pieces appear from this new artist, and I hope to see more of her work very soon. These are pen and ink line drawings, which appear deceptively simple, but they are not. (Facing page 36): Kirk and Spock entwined, faces hidden. I love the way Spock is curled around his captain. (Page 107): This piece illustrates a poem by Susan Sicafoosh and shows a pensive, mostly naked Kirk draped in some sort of sheet or robe. What this artist can do with a few simple lines is amazing.

Shelley Butler Two lovely pieces from one of fandom's best artists. "Organian Episode" (Facing page 108): I felt as though I had been given a gift as I scanned through the zine and discovered this excellent color drawing of Kirk and Spock from Errand of Mercy. Can anyone do texture as well as this artist? The shine on Spock's hair. The folds in Kirk's shirt. The concerned expression on his face, complete with wayward curl on his forehead, (although depicted here as a loop.) There's also an unusual background. It appears almost as if there is a mataroundthe picture.Very striking.

"And How Was Your Day?" (Facing page 139): A wonderful head shot of Kirk. Awry expression is on his face. It looks as though the artist caught our captain just as he was about to pull one of his delightful bluffs. Brought a smile to my face. Linda Wan: I am so glad to see more work from this talented artist. I became a fan after seeing "Want a Bite?' She improves with each new piece. This back cover is a very fine rendition of Kirk and Spock comfortably resting together after lovemaking. There is a very endearing soft smile on Spock's face. The couch on which they're reclining is boldly striped and echoes the stripes from the front cover, giving a very nice feel of completion to the zine. I can see why Robin paired the two drawings.

And speaking of Robin.... I'd just like to thank her for the way the art was presented in this zine. Each piece of interior art, but for one exception, was presented without a backing page of text to distract the eye. (The exception was TSairen's drawing on page 107 which illos a poem.) Thank you, Robin. We can't say often enough how much your efforts are appreciated.

The art in FirstTime 51 is a feast for the eye! [6]}}

[art]: AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY? by Shelley Butler. Shelley Butler has done a pencil face of young Kirk which, also, includes his shoulders/top of his uniform. This is an extremely nice Kirk. Very realistic. He's looking right at you (the viewer) and has a hint of invitation there—as if he's saying, "Spock? Are you interested in a 'game' other than chess?" I've seen this before, I think, so this may be something I have a print of. I'm not sure.

INTERIOR ART by T'Shairen (P. 36) T'Shairen has done a very nice impressionistic (not sure if that's really the correct art term) drawing of Kirk and Spock nude engaging in a sexual act. Ifs a simple pen— and ink line drawing which is not realistic, but conveys realism just the same. It's Kirk "doing" Spock and not vice versa which was my original assumption. You can only tell who is who by looking at the ears because both faces are hidden. I think this is a very powerful piece. Ifs often more erotic to leave a lot of the imagination, and this leaves us with a lot to think about.

INTERIOR ART by IM Mueller (P.19) A beautiful drawing. These are lovely nude bodies and the faces are pleasing. It's really "soft" yet fully defined. [IM Mueller] is an interesting artist, what I've been seeing of her so far, as she draws in many styles. This is not to diminish her work in any way by comparison, but this drawing reminds me of both Gayle F's and Marilyn/Elaine Cole's work.

INTERIOR ART by IM Mueller (P. 100) I love this drawing in particular because I am always truly turned on by men in uniform kissing. The original series uniforms were not very military, so that doesn't have quite the same effect on me as this does. Plus, thi drawing being the older characters is a turn-on, too. (And this one reminds me some of Chris Soto.) [7]
[art]: ORGANIAN EPISODE by Shelley Butler. Gorgeous, gorgeous. Thank you, Shelley (and thank you Robin for wonderful art-printing in this zine). I absolutely love Kirk and Spock in Organia episode. I'll get to this ravishing "Ravage" story later, but this drawing is ravishing, too. A difficult medium executed so beautifully, but most of all, the soft, touching moment between Kirk and Spock. INTERIOR ART by T'Shairen (P. 36) I really like this very much. A vibrant, abstract-y line drawing of Kirk fucking Spock. I keep staring at it, fascinated.... I want to compare this with Shelley's drawing and [IM Mueller's](p. 19) ... because what's so interesting is the totally opposite styles, from the soft and muted grayish of [IM Mueller's] drawing to the harsh, jagged black-and-white lines of this one, to the vivid color photographic style of Shelley's...and they're all so very much K/S. Ifs a nice analogy with K/S in general, our preferences and diversity. I so appreciate our "new" artists and admire their talent. And our established artists as well, of course. [8]
[art]: page 18 by IM Mueller -- Ah, the idea of Kirk, leaning against a pillow, Spock nestled against him – a pose often written but that I’m not sure I’ve seen drawn before. It’s brought to life here for us in great detail. Modernistic windows speak of a rendezvous in an elegant shore leave hideaway or perhaps on a luxury space cruiser. I love the way both men’s eyes are closed in satisfaction, their hands clasped against Spock’s chest.

art page 36 by T’Shairen -- Very sensual line drawing. This has so much momentum, the figures almost writhe on the page, locked in ecstacy. You can feel the heat and sense the passion in every stroke! I really like looking at this, as it seems to just come to life for me. What a pose!

art 88 by IM Mueller -- This is very dark – as it should be. It perfectly matches the very dark and terrifying events portrayed in the accompanying story. The likeness of Spock is good, the alien adequately repulsive. I’m not sure about Spock’s expression, as mine would be pure terror. But, he is a Vulcan, and a handsome one at that.

art page 100 by IM Mueller -- Without a doubt, this is worth the price of the zine. Daring to do a kiss is one thing, but an embrace, on the bridge, in full STII uniform is scandalous! And it is done with such feeling! I enjoy the Kirk and Spock of this era, love the way they look in their maroon and gold. And I daydream about them holding one another, kissing in just such a way. Now I have seen it, and I am so privileged to have done so. It is everything I expected and more. This scene is part of “Sadness Loss and Love” by Deanna Gray. It is so meaningful when you know the dialogue that fits it so perfectly: “We are on duty, Sir.” “Yes. We are.” My favorite line from this zine with my favorite art. Now, don’t you just have to know more?

art page 105 by IM Mueller -- Even as I said I loved the artwork in which Kirk and Spock were clad in their handsome uniforms, I knew that the next Muller picture in this zine was something to be adored in much a different way. This is exquisitely done and extremely explicit. XXX rated you might say, and yet in no way could it be offensive, because it depicts love in its oldest form. To say that Kirk has impaled himself upon Spock, to say that Spock lifts his hips to bury himself as deep as possible in his lover is acutely inadequate. There is sensitivity here, and feeling and a kind of magnetism that you simply must see to appreciate. [9]

Issue 52

First Time 52 was published in 2001 and contains 170 pages. The front cover is by Fiona Graves, the back by IM Mueller. Additional interior art by GOS and Virginia Sky.

front cover #52 -"These covers feature complementary poses of Kirk and Spock, done by two different artists using a stipple technique. Spock's bare backside (partially covered—not too modestly—by his hands) graces the front cover and on the back cover we have a lovely view of Kirk's naked groin (partially covered—not too modestly—by his hands). It's a great opportunity to compare the styles of two wonderful K/S artists, which is, of course, the only reason I have spent so much time studying both drawings so carefully." [10] Another fan writes: "Hmmm... so what can I say about them without giving too much away? Well, Spock has the cutest buttocks I have ever seen! And Kirk's thighs are to die for! I bow to the talent of these two artists!" [11] Another fan writes: "The front cover to FIRST TIME 52 is by Fiona Graves and is a rather lovely B&W stipple picture (if that's the correct word). Fiona Graves is a favorite artist of mine. I wish she did more pictures. It's a picture of Spock's bare behind. Basically you see the bottom of his shirt and his buns with his hands clasped together. It's a really nice picture with a lot of depth to it. It must have taken hours and hours for Graves to have done the dotting for the blue of the shirt. It makes me wince just to think of it. Of course, this doesn't HAVE to be Spock, but WHO else would be on the cover of a K/S zine in a science blue shirt? [12]
issue #52, back cover by IM Mueller --"The back cover to FIRST TIME 52 is by IM Mueller is a B&W companion piece to the front cover by Fiona Graves. It is more explicit than the front cover, but then that's mainly because men's fronts tend to have equipment. This is the lower part of Kirk's shirt and his genitals which are almost discreetly covered by his hands. Guess his hands aren't big enough to do the job. Obviously this is a fantasy Kirk since this person has a very slim waist and very nice thickly muscled thighs. No way is that the actual Kirk from the TV series. [13]
  • The Vulcan Survivor by Lucia Palude (p. 4-46) (The Enterprise runs across a distress buoy that leads them to a 16 year old crash site where they find one survivor, a now grown male cousin of Spockʼs.)
  • What Has Always Been Between Us by Helen (p. 48-52) (Kirk awakens while Spock is attempting to remove his memories of Rayna and finally confesses to him of his love.)
  • Personal Devil by Deanna Gray (p. 54-77) (The Enterprise is granted shoreleave on a starbase commanded by Finnegan, Kirkʼs old nemesis who starts right up where he left off and finally drives Kirk to make a bet he immediately regrets.)
  • A Vulcan's Lament by Julie (p. 78-83) (After the koonakalifee, Kirk wakes Spock from a nightmare of Kirkʼs death and demands that Spock put back the link between them that was broken when Spock thought he had died.)
  • Golden Silences by Autumn Hill (p. 84-85) (The shared quiet times between the command team of the Enterprise disappears, and returns only after Kirk is injured.)
  • The Little Things by Rosemarie Heaton (p. 86-101) (McCoy is concerned when he discovers that Kirk and Spock have just become lovers.)
  • Paradise (also called (What Can I Offer?) by Islaofhope (p. 104-131) (After Spock is released from the spores of Omicron Ceti 3, he rapes Kirk in the transporter room, something they must deal with as they become lovers while transporting the colonists to the nearest starbase.)
  • Destiny's Way by Jennifer Andon (p. 132-170) (Their relief at Spockʼs aborted pon farr is short lived after Kirk turns up missing and Spock discovers that the link they shared has turned into a mating link.)

Poetry

  • Love of My Life by Helen
  • Liquidity by S.R. Benjamin
  • First Best Destiny by Spock
  • That Night by Helen
  • Brothers by Robin Hood
  • The Stage by Robin Hood

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 52

See reactions and reviews for The Vulcan Survivor.
See reactions and reviews for What Has Always Been Between Us.
See reactions and reviews for Personal Devil.
See reactions and reviews for A Vulcan's Lament.
See reactions and reviews for Golden Silences.
See reactions and reviews for The Little Things.
See reactions and reviews for Paradise.
See reactions and reviews for Destiny's Way.

Issue 53

First Time 53 was published in 2001 and contains 182 pages.

close up front cover #53
cover of issue #53, G. E. Mills & Rena Osborn
  • Something Deep Inside by Islaofhope (While filling in as starbase commander, Kirk meets and woos a woman, even though he and Spock were approaching a new level in their relationship after VʼGer.)
  • End Games by Karla Kelly (Kirk and Spock participate in Vulcan “games” but become the target of terrorists after they begin to win.)
  • Jury Duty by Corey Fauer (Kirk and Spock serve together on jury duty at the same time that Kirk is trying to discuss expanding their relationship.)
  • One So Close to You by Elise Madrid (Kirk discovers that Henoch and Sargon had a relationship when Spockʼs body is taken over by Henoch.)
  • Sweet Surrender by Deanna Gray (Spock discovers a way to catch “scenes” from another dimension, and discovers a Kirk and Spock who live as master and slave...and as lovers.)
  • Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow by Kathy Stanis (Spock begins acting strangely after returning from Sarpeidonʼs past.)
  • Report From The Rim by Carolyn Spencer (A prisoner is interviewed concerning the incarceration of two starfleet officers and what he saw of their relationship.)
  • The Equation by Corey Fauer (2 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 53

See reactions and reviews for Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow.
See reactions and reviews for Report from the Rim.
See reactions and reviews for Something Deep Inside.
See reactions and reviews for End Games.
See reactions and reviews for Jury Duty.
See reactions and reviews for So Close to You.
See reactions and reviews for Sweet Surrender.
See reactions and reviews for The Equation.
[art by The Southern Cross on page 179]: This is a color pencil or a color pastel by The Southern Cross. It's of Kirk's and Spock's faces with their eyes closed. Kirk looks as if he's about to kiss Spock. This is a very nice picture. Both faces are excellent. [16]

Issue 54

First Time 54 was published in 2002 and is 222 pages long. It was a contest zine and contains no interior art or poetry.

front cover of issue #54, Shelley Butler -- "I can't say enough about those front and back covers of Shelley's. Her creations have always given me palpitations and these were no different. What power emanates from the eyes of those two amazing men, as portrayed by Shelley's magically gifted fingers! They seemed to be alive, actually gazing at me and only me, right at that moment before I dived into those mesmerizing pages. I know from what Pat Stall used to say, that it is especially difficult to get James Kirk just right but Shelley has done it. I'll never know how but she is simply a master." [17]

"Now that is simply... perfection. The best rendition of Kirk I've ever seen from what must be the best shot of him in the whole TOS. Shatner at his absolute handsomest. It makes my heart twist a little to think I'll never get to see him look like that in the flesh. I took to keeping the zine next to me whenever I read another zine and when they mention how good-looking Kirk is, I look at this portrait. I melt just a little every time. Strong decisive features with soft skin and sexy eyes and that lock of hair... *sigh* [18]
covers of issue #54, Shelley Butler -- "It’s difficult for me to LOC art, but I just wanted to write and add my praise to everyone else who wrote in about the First Time 54 cover art. These have got to be two of the best pictures of Kirk and Spock I’ve ever seen. I love the way Kirk looks about to smile, and the way that lock of hair hangs down onto his forehead. It’s so realistic that I wanted to brush it back into place. The picture of Spock is great, too. I love Spock’s eyes, and also the way his hair is drawn. These both are so true to life, it’s absolutely amazing they are Shelley’s first K/S art." [19]
  • Animal Magnetism by Anne Elliot (p. 4-16) (The new shipʼs cat fall in love with Spock, just as Kirk gets up the nerve to express his feelings for his first officer.)
  • Field of Screams by T. Jonesy and Cordelia Naismith (p. 17-26) (reviewed in the letterzine K/S Press, here) (In order to decide which ship gets shoreleave on Wrigleyʼs, KIrk is charged with getting together a baseball team to beat the one from the other ship.)
  • A Bond Unto Death by Ariadne (p. 27-42) (Kirk begins acting strangely towards Spock, only to regret his actions when it finally alienates Spock from him.)
  • Gorgeous by Kathy Stanis (p. 43-49) (Kirk and Spock must dress like women in order to fit in at the diplomatic reception being held for them on a female-dominated planet.)
  • Mirrors by Elise Madrid (p. 50-75) (Kirk and Spock are captured by a young man from Vulcanʼs hidden tribe.)
  • Moments to Remember by Roberta Haga (p. 76-80) (Reunited after Gol, Kirk decided to tell Spock of his feelings.)
  • Here on Earth by Dovya Blacque (p. 81-99) (Kirk refuses to take no for an answer when Starfleet offers Spock a ship after the five year mission and Kirk insists on keeping the Vulcan at his side.)
  • Living My Dreams by Lady Charena (p. 100-103) (A/U: When Spock and his family are set to return to Vulcan, he must leave his young lover to his future dreams, dreams that would be destroyed if he and Kirk were to bond.)
  • All That I Have to Give by Islaofhope (p. 104-112) (After a disastrous mission where several cadets lost their lives, Spock believes Kirkʼs anger is directed at him as captain of the ship until the Admiralʼs tears tell him otherwise.)
  • Nome by Katherine Cooke (p. 113-123) (On a new world, Kirk and Spock are forced on a pilgrimage after the death of several natives by Kirkʼs order when he believes them hostile and fears for Spockʼs life.)
  • Loss of Innocence by Lani (p. 124-144) (Kirk is upset when Spock is assigned a covert mission to steal the Romulan cloaking devise, but more upset when he discovers that the Vulcan female agent on the case wishes to bond with his first officer.)
  • A Second Chance by Shelley Butler (p. 145-151) (While Kirk is missing when his shuttlecraft is thrown off course, Spock is visited by a Kirk of seventeen years before.)
  • Freely Given by Jenna Hilary Sinclair (2nd place) (p. 152-177) (On a planet where a kiss between men is the norm, Spock uses the information gleaned from a shared kiss to decide whether his desire for Kirk could ever be returned.)
  • Hope and Wishes by Heidi Manzone (p. 178-179) (Kirk resolves to tell Spock of his feelings for him.)
  • The Ultimate Gift by Virginia Sky (p. 180-185) (Randʼs determination to get over Kirk, and her subsequent transfer, are the catalyst for Kirkʼs realization of his love and need for Spock.)
  • Dearest Blood by Carolyn Spencer (3rd place) (p. 186-196) (Kirk refuses to rebond with Spock after the fal tor pan in reaction to Spockʼs breaking of it the first time to keep Kirk from following him into death.)
  • Flesh and Blood by Deanna Gray (1st place) (p. 197-222) (Spock is picked as a subject to have computer components integrated into his brain in order to enhance the communication between the two.)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 54

See reactions and reviews for Freely Given.
See reactions and reviews for Field of Screams.
See reactions and reviews for A Second Chance.
See reactions and reviews for Animal Magnetism.
See reactions and reviews for A Bond Unto Death.
See reactions and reviews for Gorgeous.
See reactions and reviews for Moments to Remember.
See reactions and reviews for Here on Earth.
See reactions and reviews for Living My Dreams.
See reactions and reviews for All That I Have to Give.
See reactions and reviews for Nome.
See reactions and reviews for Loss of Innocence.
See reactions and reviews for Hope and Wishes.
See reactions and reviews for The Ultimate Gift.
See reactions and reviews for Dearest Blood.
See reactions and reviews for Flesh and Blood.
See reactions and reviews for Mirrors.
[cover art]: The front and back cover of the zine First Time 54 have 2 of the most beautiful portrays of Kirk and Spock I had ever seen. The front cover is an exquisite illo of a close-up of Kirk's face. Shelley captured the essence of The front and back cover of the zine First Time 54 have 2 of the most beautiful portrays of Kirk and Spock I had ever seen. The front cover is an exquisite illo of a close-up of Kirk's face. Shelley captured the essence of those illos were the FIRST K/S art that Shelley ever did? Only one word can describe them: F A S C I N A T I N G !!!! [20]
[zine]: WOW!!!! Robin has the most BEAUTIFUL taste in artwork. But then since I can't stop looking at these covers by Shelley Butler, I guess I've just given myself a compliment too. Please, please tell me that Robin has had extra prints made for selling?!!! I definitely would love a set. Thanks for saving them for this zine. When Robin first got them, this first example of Shelley's work, it must have been orgasmic for her. I know I get a special thrill every time I see her work. I sometimes wonder what I'd give up to be able to draw like that.

Despite what Robin says in her editorial comments, I've looked and can't see any size type that she needed to apologize for. Hell, it's bigger than the fine print on medicine labels, so that's an improvement right there. I really like the ballot. Certified yet. Cool! And Robin is right in what she said with the first line of the editorial. And I'm glad to see that she hasn't lost her touch when it comes to the opening poem. Loved this one.

Congratulations to Robin on another beautiful zine. [21]
[zine]: This may sound like overreacting but it's how First Time 54 hit me—right in the heart!. I've never read a zine I enjoyed as much as I did this one, The Contest issue. Every one of the stories was top-notch. I didn't run into one instance of any kind of violence—actually that's true in most of the FTs but I know of a few instances when that wasn't so, and I didn't like it. This zine was so different: all the stories made me melt, they were so sweet, moving and romantic. Some of the ideas were ingenious but even the tried and true ventures (which I myself use over and over and how can that be avoided?!) were presented in unique and loving ways. The characterizations of Kirk and Spock were so true to...well, my ideal...that it was as if I were watching an episode on TV, except for the addition of those wonderful sexy parts I always wished had actually been on that small screen. The caliber of the writing was the highest and I didn't even mind the lack of interior art, I was so eager to devour one story and get to the next. The grammar in these "best efforts' was excellent too, something that's very important to me. It made the reading experience a real joy, and that's despite the formatting error. That snag was easily taken care of by Jenna's 'drawing a line across' instructions she so helpfully gave in last month's KSP. And thanks to her for that!

I can't say enough about those front and back covers of Shelley's. Her creations have always given me palpitations and these were no different. What power emanates from the eyes of those two amazing men, as portrayed by Shelley's magically gifted fingers! They seemed to be alive, actually gazing at me and only me, right at that moment before I dived into those mesmerizing pages. I know from what Pat Stall used to say, that it is especially difficult to get James Kirk just right but Shelley has done it. I'll never know how but she is simply a master.

Well, I was so impressed and happy in my reading that I hated to come to the end of it. And choosing the best of the best stories was extremely difficult. I felt they all took the prize in one way or another. But I wrangled and finally got it narrowed down, regretfully leaving out some of my other favorites. The Contest was an extraordinary idea and I really hope the editor conducts another one very soon if it will result in another champion zine like First Time 54. Thanks, Robin! [22]
[zine]: Some of the best writing in k/s is in this zine.

Totally awesome front and back covers, gorgeous portraits of Kirk and Spock by Shelley Butler. There is no interior art. There's no room with 17 stories! Some stories I liked, some I didn't like, and some I LOVED. It's that simple for me. What's nice is that each story is different, so there's something for all K/S tastes here: Some stories are h/c centered with original characters added to enhance the plot as in Mirrors. Another story is set in the first year of the five year-mission in which we see Kirk and Spock through the eyes of Janice Rand, The Ultimate Gift. Although personally I see the fellows getting together much later into the five-year mission, it was still a very nice read. And two stories were just plain fun to read, Animal Magnetism and Field of Screams. I love K/S humor if done right. If you like stories set in the movie arc, as I do, and more relationship focused, there are a few of those as well. One is a lovely first time with two very satisfying love scenes and a sweet ending, All That I Have to Give. Another is an established relationship story, yet tells us of Kirk's and Spock's "first time" as they reunite. It's a very powerfully written piece as well, Dearest Blood. There is also an AU that, while not my cup of tea, (I'm just not into teen K/S) is well written and bitter-sweet, Living My Dreams. And one very dark story that again, while well written, is just not my thing, A Bond Unto Death. But to each his own. My personal favorite was Flesh and Blood. After I read it I wanted to read it again. It encompasses all the elements of a really good K/S story to me: friendship, angst, originality, trekkie plot, h/c, both physical and emotional, but in small doses, not over-kill. I felt as though I was watching a classic trek episode while reading it as Kirk and Spock are, to me, so recognizable here, and are written like men. I know that sounds odd, but I hate it when Kirk and Spock come off as feminine! There is some lovely sex in this story too. I have to admit, I prefer a penetration love scene in a long, angsty story like this one. I like the feeling I get, the completion between the fellows, and when it's Kirk penetrating Spock, as is done here, even better! Sometimes a story will build up to what seems like it will flow into some great lovemaking, only to fall short of what I expected. Not so here. The lovemaking between Kirk and Spock is very satisfying and definitely lives up to the story.

Of course there are more stories in the zine besides these, but you can see, by some of the ones mentioned here, that it's a very mixed bag. I can say that I liked about half the stories. I can't wait to see who the authors are. Just when I think I know...I don't! But that's half the fun. Also, I think it's neat that the zine is reasonably priced considering how many stories it contains. [23]
[zine]: I'd like to thank Robin, Shelley, and Jenna for putting the names of the writers and the top three winners of the contest zine First Time 54 in August's KSP. I was really curious about this. I rated ALL 17 stories in order and kept my ratings. I only voted for one of the eventual top three winners—Deanna Gray. She got 1st and I had picked her 3rd. What interested me the most was that in my personal rating of all the stories that my top 9 stories had six people I knew I liked. And also included the other two winners—Jenna Sinclair and Carolyn Spencer. Only three names were new names to me. But two of those three new names, I picked as my personal 1st and 2nd favorite—Elise Madris and Anne Elliot. What I had originally expected is that I would automatically pick the people I have always liked. And that turned out to be both true and false. Of the stories I put in the bottom half, stories 10-17, there was only one old familiar name that I was shocked to see there—Kathy Stanis. Never in the world could I imagine me not liking a Stanis story very much—and here I had done it. Why? Because I didn't like the basic plotline. So I guess that proves to me that although I do have writers I really tend to like whether I know they have written the stories or not, I am also very much into the actual story concept/plotline. I had previously always thought I was more impressed by individual writing style, but I guess that is not as true as I thought. Interesting enough, the top three winners are in the last five stories. I am wondering if that influenced the voting any? I do read a zine from front to back, but in this case I rated each story as I read it and kept changing the ratings as I read each succeeding story. (And actually this was easier to do than it sounds.) Thus the final stories didn't bear more weight because I remembered them better which I suspect might account for most people finding their winners in the final stories. Perhaps that accounts for the fact that my first and second choices were in the first five stories? But that is something we will never know. It's too bad that you can't do contest zines in jumbled up order so that there are four different orders of the stories, thus assuring that some stories don't get undue advantage or disadvantage by their placement in the zine. Anyway, congratulations to Robin and ALL the writers in First Time 54 for a good job. I thought this zine as a whole was outstanding and that the writing was of a uniform good quality whether I personally happened to like the individual story lines or not. And it was great fun to rate the stories and then see how my vote compared to the overall vote. [24]

Issue 55

covers of issue #55, C.L. Meyer (front) & IM Mueller(back) -- "Again another stipple cover (I assume - it looks like the same technique as the front cover to my untrained eye) with what look like millions of tiny dots! Spock is reading in bed, nude (his groin is discreetly covered by a sheet so we see just a hint of pubic hair), and guess what he is reading? First Time 55, which has the front and back covers shown, and of course the back cover is of Spock reading FT 55, and so on. What a clever idea!" [25]
front cover of issue #55, C.L. Meyer. -- "This is a serious Kirk and Spock, both in three-fourths profile (if that's the correct term) done in ink stipple. The faces are not looking at each other, although perhaps Spock might be looking at Kirk. Both faces are put above books and documents. Kirk's face is slightly off, in my opinion, but Spock's is great. The eyes have life and sparkle in this drawing which is something that always attracts me to art. Frankly, I could have done without the "arty" effect of Kirk's ear sticking beyond the border. This lacks symmetry. If Kirk's normal rounded ear protrudes, I would think that the artist would have extended Spock's more elegant elongated ear as well. But that's a minor quibble. I do like the smoke or flames or whatever it is that is swirling about at the bottom going beyond the borders. It's a little touch but it makes the picture nicer. Over all, this is a very good cover, even though it's not perfect." [26]

First Time 55 was published in 2002 and contains 169 pages. The front cover is by C.L. Meyer.

  • Lost Now As Love Tightens by Islaofhope (reviewed in the letterzine K/S Press, here) (Kirkʼs meeting with Helen Noel at the shipʼs Christmas party is the catalyst that forces Spock to finally try for what he has long desired.)
  • The Teacher by Lani (Spock almost leaves the Enterprise after being given an ultimatum by Kirk, who has been angered by Spockʼs repeated withdrawals.)
  • The Spell by Cervelle Marais (Kirk accidentally catches Spock masturbating to the blues.)
  • Evolving Toward Forever by Elise Madrid (Kirk is unprepared for the side-affects of bonding with Spock when they go from friends to bondmates without first being lovers.Sequel: The Exile.)
  • Twenty-Four Hours by Helen (reviewed in the letterzine K/S Press, here) (Finally lovers after VʼGer, Kirk muses over the last 24 hours from the bed he now shares with Spock.)
  • Gold and Silver by Deanna Gray (Spock must find a way to keep Kirkʼs personality from being completely buried by the physical changes being wrought in him by their captors, aliens who need information from the human to overthrow the Federation.)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 55

See reactions and reviews for Lost Now As Love Tightens.
See reactions and reviews for The Teacher.
See reactions and reviews for The Spell.
See reactions and reviews for Evolving Toward Forever.
See reactions and reviews for Twenty-Four Hours.
See reactions and reviews for Gold and Silver.
[front cover]: This is a serious Kirk and Spock, both in three-fourths profile (if that's the correct term) done in ink stipple. The faces are not looking at each other, although perhaps Spock might be looking at Kirk. Both faces are put above books and documents. Kirk's face is slightly off, in my opinion, but Spock's is great. The eyes have life and sparkle in this drawing which is something that always attracts me to art. Frankly, I could have done without the "arty" effect of Kirk's ear sticking beyond the border. This lacks symmetry. If Kirk's normal rounded ear protrudes, I would think that the artist would have extended Spock's more elegant elongated ear as well. But that's a minor quibble. I do like the smoke or flames or whatever it is that is swirling about at the bottom going beyond the orders. It's a little touch but it makes the picture nicer. Over all, this is a very good cover, even though it's not perfect. Kirk's cheeks don't protrude that much around the lip area-or, at least, it doesn't in most pictures I have seen. I'll admit that it is possible that this drawing might be accurate, but it doesn't look like the Kirk face I'm used to seeing. Anyway, I have three new zines stacked on my desk right now with the covers staring back at me, and this cover is by far the best cover of the three. [27]
[cover art]: This is a lovely piece, done by an artist new to K/S, I think (sorry if I’m wrong about that). It’s a stipple of Kirk and Spock’s faces, and it’s incredible to me how dots can be made into such a wonderful picture. A really nice piece. I hope to see more of her work. [28]
[interior art by IM Mueller]: I don’t know if it’s proper etiquette to review a piece of art that appears in my own story, but I have to say I love this picture. It’s hot, erotic, passionate, hot, fantastic and oh, yes, hot! I look at this and I swear I think I can see them moving. It’s that good. I think it’s one of [IM Mueller's] best, one of my favorites certainly. A big thank you to both [IM Mueller] and Robin for the privilege of having it in my story. [29]
[art by IM Mueller on page 168]: Whew, this picture is hot! I certainly agree with Cathy, who LOC’d it last issue, that when you look at it Kirk and Spock almost appear to be moving. It’s like a freeze frame - Kirk is paused mid thrust for a brief moment and about to resume any second. And the picture perfectly describes the action in Cathy’s story and is a wonderful accompaniment. Since Cathy writes some of the hottest K/S love scenes I’ve ever read, it’s fitting that such an erotic picture illustrate her story. [30]
[front cover art]: The front cover to FIRST TIME 55 is by CL Meyer. This is a serious Kirk and Spock, both in three-fourths profile (if that's the correct term) done in ink stipple. The faces are not looking at each other, although perhaps Spock might be looking at Kirk. Both faces are put above books and documents. Kirk's face is slightly off, in my opinion, but Spock's is great. The eyes have life and sparkle in this drawing which is something that always attracts me to art. Frankly, I could have done without the "arty" effect of Kirk's ear sticking beyond the border. This lacks symmetry. If Kirk's normal rounded ear protrudes, I would think that the artist would have extended Spock's more elegant elongated ear as well. But that's a minor quibble. I do like the smoke or flames or whatever it is that is swirling about at the bottom going beyond the borders. It's a little touch but it makes the picture nicer. Over all, this is a very good cover, even though it's not perfect. Kirk's cheeks don't protrude that much around the lip area-or, at least, it doesn't in most pictures I have seen. I'll admit that it is possible that this drawing might be accurate, but it doesn't look like the Kirk face I'm used to seeing. Anyway, I have three new zines stacked on my desk right now with the covers staring back at me, and this cover is by far the best cover of the three. [31]
[back cover art]: Is this cute or is this cute? Again another stipple cover (I assume - it looks like the same technique as the front cover to my untrained eye) with what looks like millions of tiny dots! Spock is reading in bed, nude (his groin is discreetly covered by a sheet so we see just a hint of pubic hair), and guess what he is reading? First Time 55, which has the front and back covers shown, and of course the back cover is of Spock reading FT 55, and so on. What a clever idea! [32]
[front cover art]: Holy cow. This is one fantastic cover. It is light and airy—sorry that's what comes to mind when I look at it. The time and patience involved in stippling the entire illo is mind boggling. I certainly would not have the patience to execute such a gorgeous cover. The beautiful details like the book and papers, and their faces—almost so dead on. Excellent illo, quite a talent. It's too bad this artist didn't do a back cover for FT 55. I bet it would have been awesome. Keep on drawing. I certainly look forward to more of her artworks. [33]
[art on page 38, apparently uncredited]: This is a very nice drawing of Spock and Kirk, both naked, hugging. Spock’s eyes are closed and his head is resting on Kirk’s shoulder. The expression on the Vulcan’s face is very peaceful. The artist has captured both men’s bodies perfectly: I love the fact that you can see the point of Spock’s hip, and that his arms are nicely formed but not overly muscular--a very true-to-life depiction. Even though Kirk’s face is not visible, his body is drawn so accurately that there is little doubt of its owner’s identity--although, if one has any lingering doubts they are definitely dispelled by the stray lock of light-colored, slightly wavy hair falling over Kirk’s forehead, which is just barely visible beyond Spock’s nicely pointed ear. All in all, a very sweet drawing that just radiates contentment. [34]
[front cover]: What a wonderful treat to see these covers, which, as Robin explains in her “Editorial Comments,” were Shelley Butler’s very first K/S drawings! Kirk’s portrait is on the front cover, and Spock’s is on the back. They are both wonderful, but I have to admit that I prefer the back cover, partly because I am such a Spock fan, but also because Shelley has captured such a perfect look of longing in Spock’s gaze. Looking at this portrait, it’s very, very easy for me to imagine that Spock is staring at his captain, thinking to himself “Will he ever be mine? [35]

Issue 56

First Time 56 was published in 2002 and contains 162 pages.

front cover of issue #56, I.M. Mueller -- "I may not have read this zine yet, but I've seen these covers! Gorgeous! The front cover has a lovely design—a decorative border with a beautiful uniformed Kirk standing arms akimbo (love that word!) while a bare-chested Spock looms large in the picture. There’s some sort of amulet or jewel in the center against a starry sky and what looks like Vulcan ruins. And I especially like the use of First Time 56 in the design itself. " And -- "
cover of issue #56, I.M. Mueller (front & back). -- "The back cover is equally inventive and creative. Kirk and Spock making love floating in a star-filled sky. Really good faces and a lovely pose. [IM Mueller] is so prolific and yet just about every piece she does is so well done. I could never invent poses like she does—she is immensely talented." And -- "Really interesting pose—Kirk lying on top of Spock, both nude and floating in a sea of stars. Very different. I also like how Kirk is caressing Spock's chest, and Spock has one hand curved around Kirk's neck." [36]
  • Deflectors Down by Katherine Cooke (p. 4-32) (Right after his problems with Janice Lester, Kirk must deal with a matriarchal society contemplating joining the Federation...and with the dawning realization that he wants Spock. Sequel: Starbase Eighteen.)
  • To Live Forever by Cerebo Pantano (p. 34-47) (Spock recounts to Kirk a previous encounter with a man who may have been like Flint, immortal.)
  • Tonight You Are Mine I.M. Mueller (p. 48-51) (Kirk and Spock journey to the place of mating on their bonding day.)
  • What a Day for a Daydream by Ariadne (p. 52-74) (Kirk and Spock are unaware of the bond they share until TʼPau decides to take things into her own hands.)
  • A Matter of Biology by M.E. Carter (p. 76-132) (Spockʼs pon farr returns while the ship is orbitting Altair 4, and Kirk is unwilling to contemplate Spock turning to a stranger.)
  • Permanent Exchange by Animasola (p. 134-149) (Kirk must work past Spockʼs objections to a sexual relationship between them after their mutual feelings are seen in their meld during the cloaking devise incident.)
  • The Test of Time by Elise Madrid (p. 150-162) (Rapid aging from radiation poisoning seems to create problems in Kirk and Spockʼs new relationship.)
  • Silver and Gold, a poem by ?
  • Desert Heat by Anne Jackson (won a Philon Award)
  • four poems by Christine Krumbholz ("Valentine from a Vulcan.", "1:47 am," "Course Change," "Untitled")

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 56

See reactions and reviews for Deflectors Down.
See reactions and reviews for To Live Forever.
See reactions and reviews for Tonight You Are Mine.
See reactions and reviews for What a Day for a Daydream.
See reactions and reviews for A Matter of Biology.
See reactions and reviews for Permanent Exchange.
See reactions and reviews for The Test of Time.
[front cover art by IM Mueller]: What a beautiful and creative cover illustration. There’s so many neat touches that I really liked—such as the way “First Time 56” was incorporated in the design; or the unusual perspective of Spock being in the foreground and so much larger than Kirk, and the angle of his head. I loved the way his ear is drawn to fit into the right corner at a slanted angle. And I liked the outline of the picture—it looked like a frame. Plus the mysterious and exotic looking amulet... in the center of the picture. IM Mueller often has the most unusual ideas for drawings and poses, and has unique little decorative touches in them as well. [37]
[zine]: Zine editors -- please consider your readers when choosing font size and type. I'd much rather have normal looking, normal size font that I can easily read and than a more different, more interesting font that gives me eyestrain and headaches. [She goes on to specify the lines and poems that were sometimes incomprehensible.] [38]
[Pensive: art by Shelley Butler] Oh, wow, another beautiful Shelley Butler color picture. Kirk and Spock are having a serious discussion, it looks like. As usual, Shelley's Kirk is so perfect—I love the hair, and how she draws his long eyelashes. The texture to her art is amazing—the way she draws the wrinkles on Spock's tunic makes me feel as though I could reach my hand out and touch the picture and I would feel the velour material. Another winner for Shelley! [39]
[art by [IM Mueller] on page 53]: I'm a big Kirk fan, so appreciated this picture of Kirk in shorts, sitting with one knee drawn up. I liked the shoulders, and the contemplative look on his face. [40]
[art by IM Mueller on page 53]: A lovely Kirk—his face is especially well portrayed. Really nice pencil work, and, as usual for this richly talented artist, a different and unique pose.[41]
[art by Animasola on page 148]: Another one of Animasola's distinctive pictures, with the shaded pencil (or charcoal?) technique. I like the pose— Spock is clasping Kirk tightly to him, with his eyes closed. I also like the play of muscles shown in the drawing, and the fire god in the background. [42]
[art by Animasola on page 148]: I love this dynamic drawing—filled with emotion and energy. Spock clutches Kirk in a fierce way and the feeling shows on his face. I adore the thick woven blanket that Kirk holds around them. And it's always a pleasure to see them with a background and a setting. Kirk's profile is really good—especially difficult to draw him with his head back like that. [43]
[art by IM Mueller on page 153]: Ahem, what an erotic picture! Kirk and Spock are both nude, both erect, and Spock sucks Kirk's nipple as Kirk arches back in Spock's arms. I really liked this one. Very hot! [44]
[poem: Desert Heat]: I really, really love this poem! It's Philon Award is well deserved as Anne uses structure, words and images to create a beautiful and compelling poem. The structure is so clever, as Anne uses repeating lines but with subtle changes in some of the words to reveal the progression of the relationship between Kirk and Spock. I loved how the first line of each of the six stanzas was a variation on 'The Captain's eyes are desert landscapes". The change in these first lines from 'The Captain's" to "My Captain's" to "My lover's" cleverly shows the change in Kirk and Spock's relationship. I loved all the descriptions of Kirk's eyes in the second line of each stanza, such as burnished bronze, copper gleam, and liquid gold. Wonderful images that evoke Vulcan's landscapes are used in these lines too, and so appropriate since the poem is from Spock's POV: "the tarnished brass of whirling sandstorm", or "the honey glow of sands in sunlight. The third sentence of each stanza shows us Kirk's changing moods and feelings, from "He is angry" to "He is content" to "He is joyful" to "He is in love", with a shift in the last stanza to show his union with Spock: "We are as one". The fifth sentence of each stanza also shows us the progression of their relationship as we see Spock's reactions to Kirk, moving from "I long to touch" and "I long to stroke" to "I cannot control my longing" in the fifth stanza, to the last two wonderful lines: "I need not deny my longing. And am made breathless by his burning gaze." [45]

Issue 57

issue #57, back cover by I.M. Mueller
front cover of issue #57 by CLM

First Time 57 was published in 2003 and contains 183 pages.

  • Vulcan Pharmacology by Islaofhope (Kirk is volunteered by Komack to do a commercial involving a product for erectile disfunction.)
  • A Common Odyssey by Elise Madrid (Kirk and Spock end up in a Romulan prison after the ship they are passengers on is taken by Orion slavers.)
  • The Sleep Over by RAC (After Spock is psychically attacked, his descent into pon farr brings to the surface his attraction to Kirk.)
  • Walls by Autumn Hill

Art:

  • Hold On by I.M. Mueller
  • Wishing by I.M. Mueller
  • My Best Friend - Jimmy by I.M. Mueller
  • My Best Friend - Spock by I.M. Mueller
  • Art by Liz

Poetry:

  • Silent Gifts by Robin Hood
  • Now by Robin Hood
  • A Gift Returned by Robin Hood


Reactions and Reviews: Issue 57

See reactions and reviews for A Common Odyssey.
See reactions and reviews for Walls.
See reactions and reviews for Vulcan Pharmacology.
See reactions and reviews for The Sleep Over.

Issue 58

First Time 58 was published in 2004 and contains 188 pages.

close up cover of issue #58
cover of issue #58, IM Mueller
  • If You Could Read My Mind by Ariadne (p. 4-13) (As he pulls Spock away from Nomad, Kirk catches a disturbing image of the two of them in Spockʼs disjointed thoughts.)
  • Father of My Fathers by Gigi Pinckney (p. 14-49) (Kirk and Spockʼs relationship from the first five-year mission to VʼGer.)
  • Playing Footsie by Anne Elliot (p. 50-62) (As Kirk and Spock begin their love affair, Spock realizes that the part of his body he most wants to keep hidden is the part that Kirk most wants to explore.)
  • Truth in Lies by Deanna Gray (p. 64-88) (When Spock is unable to remember his life after the fal tor pan, Kirk lies to him about their relationship in order to get what he has only recently realized heʼs always wanted from his friend.)
  • Just a Simple Word by Anne Elliot (p. 90-118) (A chance encounter in a Jeffries tube brings drastic changes to Kirk and Spockʼs relationship.)
  • In the Season of Renewal by Elise Madrid (p. 120-156) (Kirk returns to Earth to oversee his motherʼs funeral just as Spock has retreated from his life. Sequel: Betwixt Man and Angell.)
  • "The Road Not Taken" by Brianna Falken (p. 158-188) (After his argument with McCoy while in Kirkʼs cabin, Spock orders the Enterprise out of Tholian space, sacrificing his captainʼs life for the ship.)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 58

See reactions and reviews for If You Could Read My Mind.
See reactions and reviews for Father of My Fathers.
See reactions and reviews for Playing Footsie.
See reactions and reviews for Truth in Lies.
See reactions and reviews for Just a Simple Word.
See reactions and reviews for In the Season of Renewal.
See reactions and reviews for “The Road Not Taken”.
[art on page 84 by IM Mueller]: This illo accompanies the story, “Truth in Lies”, and goes perfectly with the ending love scene of Kirk and Spock in bed. Very sexy! Lots of emotion going on in this scene. I love stories and illos set in movie arch. M.I. [sic] did a wonderful job with the faces and bodies. They are true to the fal tor pan time line. A keeper! [46]

Issue 59

First Time 59 was published in 2005 and contains 160 pages.

back cover by Shelley Butler
front cover by Shelley Butler
  • The Sound of Silence by Anne Elliot (p. 4-20) (When Spock is temporarily made deaf and almost unable to speak by an infection, Kirk decides itʼs the best time to say what heʼs longed to say to Spock without fear of the Vulcan actually being able to hear him.)
  • Outside of Time by Autumn Hill (p. 22-27) (As Kirk and Spock join their bodies and minds, memories from both their lives are relived..)
  • Vulcans Do Not Lie by Marrianne (p. 28-39) (In order to discourage the advances of the Ricordian ambassador, Spock tells her that he and Kirk are bonded.)
  • Parting in Space by Cendra Morton (p. 40-59) (As the marriage between two crewmen unravels, Kirk resolves to make his feelings known to Spock..)
  • Hear the Colors by Ellen Thacher (p. 60-74) (After Kirkʼs brush with death, he seems to come to a decision, one that Spock has both feared and hoped for.)
  • Starlight Dreams by Sue Cameron (p. 76-90) (Kirk is worried about Spock after the Vulcan admits to be experiencing undue fatigue.)
  • Past, Present and Future by Susan Sicafoosh (p. 92-97) (Spock reveals his changing relationship with Kirk in a letter to his mother.)
  • What Men Want by Robin Hood (p. 98-117) (Spockʼs concentration is being disrupted by the thoughts heʼs picking up from his captain.)
  • Burden of the Heart by Erin Tooley (p. 118-160) (After an attack at a Starbase, Kirk and Spock are justifiably sceptical when their main suspect proclaims that he is from the future, sent back to prevent Kirkʼs assassination.)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 59

See reactions and reviews for The Sound of Silence.
See reactions and reviews for Outside of Time.
See reactions and reviews for Vulcans Do Not Lie.
See reactions and reviews for Parting in Space.
See reactions and reviews for Hear the Colors.
See reactions and reviews for Starlight Dreams.
See reactions and reviews for Past, Present and Future.
See reactions and reviews for What Men Want.
See reactions and reviews for Burden of the Heart.
[art by Shelley Butler, "Embraceable You"]: This is really nice. Both men are unclothed, and Spock is embracing a seated Kirk from behind. I love to see them both in a quiet moment like this. Kirk looks as if he is about to kiss Spock’s arm, and the expression on Spock’s face is so full of contentment and devotion.

I also liked the fanciful border of leaves and vines, especially the way they seem to fade out on the right side of the picture. Very effective use of light and dark. The wedding ring on Spock’s left hand so eloquently tells its own story of a half Vulcan who has never truly belonged anywhere finding a home and a love to call his own.

Lovely work, Shelley. [47]

Issue 60

First Time 60 was published in July 2006.

covers of issue #60, Liz Woledge -- [front cover]: "Ah, a lovely color composition by Liz! I really like pictures that are composites of various scenes. This one is similar, in a way, to the CGA done by Helen on the back cover of Kindle My Heart #2, but of course this is hand drawn and the approach is different. But here we see in the center the major picture of Spock from his time on Gol, his head bowed, his eyes closed, obviously thinking of something.... (I really love the wispy ends of his air in front of his ear that Liz has drawn for us to enjoy! And the look on Spock’s face.... How did she find that reference to draw from? A mixture of contemplation, guilt, and regret. It’s really all there.) The rest of the picture tells us what he is thinking of. Immediately over Spock’s head is a collage of images showing his relationship on the Enterprise with Kirk. There’s one of them playing chess from Where No Man Has Gone Before, there’s the reunion “Jim!” scene from Amok Time, there’s the Kirk-holding-Spock scene from The Changeling, there’s the melding scene from Spectre of the Gun, (I used to amuse myself while in high school by writing down the names of the episodes, in order, from each season, and while that knowledge occasionally eludes me in these advancing years, hey, I’ve still got most of it!), and finally there’s one we didn’t see on the television screen, one of Kirk holding Spock with Spock’s head on his shoulder. So that’s what Spock is thinking of. Ah, but there’s more! Liz added a smaller picture of Admiral Kirk from The Motion Picture timeline to the upper left. The background reds/oranges/yellows of the recollection collage merges right into Kirk’s profile, as it also curves around Spock’s head on Vulcan. So the artist is telling us that each man is thinking the same thing at the same time, remembering their time together. This is a great example of a good composition in a picture, one that can be appreciated not just for how well the artist has drawn the images but also for the story it tells. Great job, Liz!" [48]
  • Blame It on the Computer by Jimmi Folger (Too often trouble on the Enterprise seems to have a computer at its core.)
  • Honeymoon by Shelley Butler (After Kirk persuades Spock to go no vacation with him, the two men are stranded on an uninhabited planet after their small ship encounters an ion storm.)
  • Trying Times by Elise Madrid (Kirk and Spock know they want to be together, itʼs the getting there seems to be their problem...and then things only get worse.)
  • Shadows on the Stars by Khiori (Kirk has trouble accepting Spockʼs death, as well as his return to life.)
  • Slaves to Each Other by Deanna Gray (Kirk is suspicious when the Orions allow the Enterprise to assist in rescue efforts after one of its planets is destroyed.)
  • Hell for Leather by Anne Elliot (Kirk asks Spock to join him while he spends time on the Shore Leave planet, but with the strange proviso that he never leave Kirkʼs sight.)
  • A Storm is Coming, poem by Kelly Reiger

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 60

See reactions and reviews for Blame It on the Computer.
See reactions and reviews for Honeymoon.
See reactions and reviews for Trying Times.
See reactions and reviews for Shadows on the Stars.
See reactions and reviews for Slaves to Each Other.
See reactions and reviews for Hell for Leather.
["Slow and Sweet" -- art by Khiori]: Oh, so nice! This is a really interesting piece as I am pretty positive that it is hand-drawn, and yet it also has the look of a CGA composition. Here we see Kirk and Spock, naked, one of my favorite subjects! Spock is stretched out on his back, presumably in bed, and over him is Kirk. Kirk is kissing Spock’s chest just above the left nipple. Again, this is so interesting in what we don’t see. We just are able to glimpse Spock’s nose and lips, but nothing more of him is visible. And there’s an extremely interesting cut-out along the line of Spock’s side, closest to the viewer. It’s raggedy and presumably that’s the line of sheet/comforter/blanket bunched against him. I think. Not really sure. Each time I look at this picture it does take me a few seconds to orient myself to what the picture is actually showing me because of this raggedy line, but despite this I really like this artistic touch. There’s a lot of tenderness evident in Kirk’s kiss, and also in the way Spock’s arm comes out of the side of the picture to rest on the back of Kirk’s head with his fingers curved. And there’s a lot of erotic possibility in the way the swell of Kirk’s pectorals are pressed against Spock’s body. It’s a very intimate pose, really well composed and so well drawn that, as I mentioned, I wasn’t sure if this was hand drawn or CGA. Great job, Khiori! [49]
["Slow and Sweet" by Khiori]: Not too much to say about this piece except...wow! Kirk is on top of Spock (Yes! My favorite position!), and is gently kissing that magnificent Vulcan chest. Only the lower part of Spock’s face is visible. He is lying on his back, one hand languidly stroking Kirk’s hair. I know the moment this illo is meant to show is the beginnings of the passion between them; a slow unhurried exploration of Spock’s body by Kirk. But to me the lack of urgency suggests more the repose and quiet adoration of sated bodies. Either interpretation is possible. One of the joys of art to me is that we can see different things in it.

Technically the illo is rather unusual. The pencil? shading is expertly done, and I love the white layer of sheet that hides part of Spock’s body. It actually becomes part of the border of the illo. The play of dark against light is vivid and draws the eye to the swells and recesses of their two bodies. Whew! Got hot in here for a moment.

The picture is full of emotion and intimacy. I love it [50]
[art: front covers]: The talented Liz has contributed full color covers that tell quite a story. On the front we see Spock at Gol, his head bowed as he remembers his life with Jim Kirk. Chess games, melds, compassion and love are all depicted. Kirk, in his TMP uniform, reminisces on the back cover. Interesting his images of Spock are all nude while Spock’s all recall a fully clothed Kirk.

Marianne Muller has no less than six illustrations in this zine. Kirk and Spock in cowboy garb is a fun fantasy. Next is a look at Spock and Kirk contemplating making love, I suspect – with an insert that brings them closer to the deed. I like the way they look into each other’s eyes. This is a difficult pose, but it works. Ah, she’s done one of Spock lying atop Kirk – with Kirk’s head buried in a pillow. This is a nice one! I love seeing them in the aftermath of love, clearly what the artist intended here. A miniature image of a nude K&S accompanies a poem about a frolic on the beach. I love the look of Kirk here, sprawled in abandon, while Spock looks away very thoughtfully. Two of Marianne’s pictures accompany the Deanna Gray story “Slaves to Each Other”. They are in a different style, but I’m no artist so I can’t tell you the difference except to say the first of the two is very contrasty. They are standing together in one view, Kirk looking troubled, Spock looking at Kirk with obvious concern. More subtle are the lines of stress in their trousers that show both in a state of arousal. In the second picture, they appear to have decided what to do to relieve that problem, as they are pressed close, chest to chest and groin to groin in a very loving pose.

Khiori has illustrated her own story, “Shadows Over the Stars”, capturing an intimate moment very nicely. Spock is surrounded by lush softness almost like a cloud, while Kirk kisses his way down the Vulcan’s chest. Yum! Spock’s fingers entwined in that soft human hair don’t hurt a thing either. [51]

References

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  18. 4 September 2009 Master List of K/S Favorites *Updated Nov 19, 2013*, Mary Monroe
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