One So Close to You
|Title:||One So Close to You|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
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It was published in the print zine First Time #53.
"Kirk discovers that Henoch and Sargon had a relationship when Spockʼs body is taken over by Henoch."
Reactions and Reviews
This story takes one of the ST episodes and gives it an interesting K/S twist. It's amazing how our K/S writers can manage to find a K/S angle to almost every episode! I liked the structure of this story, which is told in a series of scenes set before, during, and after the events portrayed in the episode "Return to Tomorrow" . Kirk learns that Henoch and Sargon were lovers before Sargo fell in love with Thalassa, and then narrowly escapes a rape attempt by Henoch in Spock's body. Kirk also learns from Henoch that Spock loves him. This disclosure, plus Spock's near death, provide the final motivation for Kirk to tell Spock his true feelings for him. The POV is Kirk's all the way through the story until the final scenes where Kirk reveals how he feels, and kisses Spock. Then we switch to Spock's POV for the steamy little love scene that ends the story. Although I liked these scenes, and finding out how Spock felt about Kirk and their link, I really would have liked to have Kirk's POV at the end, too. The author did such a good job of showing us Kirk's thoughts and feelings all the way through the story that I felt a little bit cheated by not knowing his thoughts once all his dreams were realized. However, I did really enjoy the story, which is the first one by this talented new writer. 
Before the Sargon/Henoch incident happens, Kirk wants to tell Spock about his love. But he can't yet, and decides "He would tell him tomorrow."
After Henoch occupies Spock's body and attacks Kirk, Kirk regrets he didn't say anything and thinks he might never have the chance again. This is a wonderful premise and done nicely here except it's not shown fully enough. The story really needed more—Henoch is interrupted in his pursuit of Kirk and then that part of the story is over.
An element is even left hanging as Henoch threatens Uhura. And the scene literally ends with Kirk thinking how he must avenge Spock. I would have loved to have seen what happened!Then there's a lovely scene where finally Kirk tells Spock about his feelings and a short, but sweet sex scene ensues. 
There are a few stories around the deal with the aftermath of the Sargon episode (Return to Tomorrow), and I like the way it‘s used here. Elise Madrid is probably better known for her engrossing longer stories, and I have the feeling that this story is perhaps one of her earlier efforts, besides it being quite short.
I really like the earliest scene where Kirk is hovering on the brink of a declaration, deciding, at the end of it, that he ―would tell him tomorrow.‖ A lovely echo of the title of the episode around which this story is built. I also like the earliest image of that scene, where they are playing chess but Spock is taking an unusually long time to make his move, and that gives Kirk a chance to ―watch undisturbed.‖ I can definitely relate to staring at Spock! When Kirk later confronts Henoch in Spock‘s cabin, I was on the edge of my seat and very unsettled as to what was happening—and finally grateful that the worst did not. There is an unusual transition in that scene that made me wonder if perhaps some sentences or paragraphs of the story had been inadvertently left out in the printing? Anyway, the transition to Henoch being called away to Uhura‘s call is a bit rough but still effective. (There‘s also a typo in the sex scene where what should have been seconds is minutes instead, which is really a really long time for Spock to ponder.) I really like McCoy‘s speculation that Spock‘s sharing of consciousness with Christine might further her ambitions of snaring him as a lover. I shared Kirk‘s reaction: no way! Instead, I much preferred Kirk‘s solution to finding Spock a lover: asking Spock ―do you ever wonder about us‖ as an entrée to a serious discussion about their relationship. Sargon‘s unexpected resuscitation of Spock is a natural push into K/S, I think, and Elise exploits it well in this story. One problem that I have with this story is that it shifts point of view (pov) from Kirk to Spock for the last two pages. Since the story‘s emotional set up is in Kirk‘s pov, I really think it should have continued that way to a conclusion, to an emotional satisfaction. The first 80% of the story makes us yearn for the cessation of Kirk‘s uncertainty and yearn for the fulfillment of his dreams. By switching to Spock‘s pov, we don‘t get that except from a distance, and so we‘re denied of the emotional intimacy the story might have had.But overall, another engrossing story from Elise Madrid, whose stories I am always pleased to see in a table of contents! 
- from The K/S Press #61
- from The K/S Press #63
- from The K/S Press #94