Vulcan Pharmacology

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K/S Fanfiction
Title: Vulcan Pharmacology
Author(s): Islaofhope
Date(s): 2003
Genre: slash
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series
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Vulcan Pharmacology is a Kirk/Spock story by Islaofhope.

It was published in the print zine First Time #57.


"Kirk is volunteered by Komack to do a commercial involving a product for erectile disfunction."

Reactions and Reviews

Now here’s a unique way of getting our heroes together: Kirk is pressured into making a commercial for the 23rd century equivalent of Viagra, and fails dismally until Spock steps in. Can you think of anyone less likely to need this stuff than James T. Kirk? Nor anyone less likely to allow himself to be pressured into a situation he cannot manipulate, for that matter? Nope, me either. An original and amusing, if far-fetched, scenario. [1]
Who would ever have thought to make a drug rep a catalyst for Kirk and Spock? It's a different angle and one that is well worth reading. Starfleet appears to be working overtime in thinking of something self- deprecating for JTK to do. So, they give permission for a drug company to use him in a commercial. Bad enough in itself, to exploit a hero that way. But JTK is "up" for just about anything, so how bad can it be? Pretty bad when you consider that the product is a future version of Viagra.

Clear as it is that this makes Kirk uncomfortable, the whole story might have dropped dead right there. Enter Spock. Imagine Spock doing his best to explain to a stranger why Kirk isn't being too successful in pulling this off. Inwardly Spock cannot imagine an individual less suited to promoting a treatment for erectile dysfunction (itself not a humorous matter) than Kirk. He muses to himself that Kirk walks around his ship most of the time with a hard-on. Grin. Spock has noticed this, has he? Very, very clever from start to finish, this story explores how Spock is going to verbalize how he knows Kirk to be a poor candidate, and a miserable failure in exhibiting the sincerity needed to sell the product.

It doesn't take long for the sympathetic but frustrated female drug rep and video producer to notice the unexpected change in her star actor when Spock is present on the set. All of a sudden Kirk is his usual vibrant, virile self, exuding charm from every pore! This is nothing short of a great read! Very loving, well written and refreshing, this is K/S entertainment at its innovative best! [2]
The plot premise of this is silly. I wouldn't be surprised if someone on a K/S list somewhere dared somebody else to write a story about Kirk doing a commercial for erectile dysfunction, and this story was the result. If you're in a silly mood, you might enjoy the story. This comment has nothing to do with this specific story. It's just a comment for all First Time stories. I personally would enjoy the zines a little more if I didn't know that every story was going to be a first time and that every story was going to end happily. And, yes, I know there are others for whom this is a big plus. I think since the series is now up to 57—a number that defies logic and speaks volumes to the love women over the decades have felt for both Kirk and Spock—that perhaps it might be time to branch out a little. It personally is getting tiresome to me to pick up a First Time zine and automatically know two things about every story. Maybe Robin should allow a "not quite true First Time story" into some of the First Times and mark it with an asterisk so that readers who cannot face reading any thing NOT in the tried and true formula can avoid it. I personally think established relationships can be as interesting as first time encounters. After 57 zines (and how many other zine series—zines that were actually big zines of 150 plus pages—ever got this high????), it might be time to allow for a little more variety. I personally really like the other zine series of Merry Men Press simply because there is more variety and suspense. [3]


  1. from The K/S Press #86
  2. from The K/S Press #87
  3. from The K/S Press #87