What Has Always Been Between Us

Fanfiction
Title:	What Has Always Been Between Us
Author(s):	Helen
Date(s):	2001
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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What Has Always Been Between Us is a Kirk/Spock vignette by Helen.

It was published in the print zine First Time #52.

Summary

"Kirk awakens while Spock is attempting to remove his memories of Rayna and finally confesses to him of his love."

Reactions and Reviews

This is good, one of those premises I believe I've not read before. The opening line is Kirk's "If only I could forget" after the Rayna situation, and we get Spock's thoughts and feelings as he observes Kirk's pain. Spock begins to do the deed...and Kirk wakes up. So ifs an interesting scenario, that Spock doesn't make Kirk forget.

And I like how Kirk explains to Spock: I need to forget in my own way; and, I was desperate to love Rayna, to break the ties growing stronger between us (between Kirk and Spock). I do like good explanations of Kirk's apparently falling in love with women. Of course, in the case of Rayna, it was her Spock-like qualities that Kirk fell for so much.

You know me, I thought it could have been better without explaining their feelings so much in both their heads, but I love the idea of this story, and it ends with a sweet, slow intimacy, quite nice.

"What Has Always Been Between Us" by Helen is a five page story which happens just after the incident with Flint and Rayna. I think this story would have been vastly improved if it had been developed into a twenty page story because things move a little too quickly the way it's presented.

When I sat down with this story, I was in need of something heartwarming and loving to kickstart me on a K/S afternoon. Helen provided exactly what I needed. Entirely wrapped around the "Forget" meld, the story probes the depths of Spock's feeling, how he loves Kirk and longs for him even as he understands his friend's despair over losing Rayna. There is great understanding of the Vulcan, and the turmoil he faces as he tries to determine what is best for his friend. This is what love is about. Spock never stoops to judge, no matter how much he is hurt by Kirk's indiscriminate behavior, he simply understands and decides to help in whatever way he can. In Helen's version, Kirk wakes before the meld is completed and speaks very gently, expressing his gratitude for what Spock is doing. He, also, thinks first of his friend. The gentle strength of the love both men have been concealing sets the tone for what must come. "What Has Always Been Between Us" is the perfect title.