Truth in Lies
| K/S Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Truth in Lies |
| Author(s): | Deanna Gray |
| Date(s): | 2004 |
| Length: | |
| Genre: | slash |
| Fandom: | Star Trek: The Original Series |
| External Links: | |
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Truth in Lies is a Kirk/Spock story by Deanna Gray. It was illustrated by I.M. Muller.
It was published in the print zine First Time #58.
Summary
"When Spock is unable to remember his life after the fal tor pan, Kirk lies to him about their relationship in order to get what he has only recently realized heʼs always wanted from his friend."
Reactions and Reviews
"Truth in Lies" by Deanna Gray is about 25 pages long. I expected to like this story because I like Deanna's writing, and I did.She provides an interesting concept—that Kirk will lie to Spock, something I find hard to believe. But she convinced me in this story that he would. Basically the story starts after Star Trek 2 when Spock is dead and then after a while jumps to after Spock has been recovered and is trying to regain his former self. The story ends sometime around Star Trek 4, if I remember my movies right. As usual this is well written and convincing. Spock and Kirk have various difficulties to face both together and separately. There's a lot of specific detail, and the story shows a lot of thought behind it.
I have one quibble. Twice in the sexual descriptions a cock is "stripped," and this is terminology I am not used to. I envision someone taking a knife and peeling the skin away from the penis. Needless to say, this image is not appealing. Is this a typo? OR is this some new sexual slang I am not aware of?
I recommend the story. There's a lot of plot and the sex when we get to the sex, except for the one quibble I have, is very satisfying, sweet and sensual. [1]
I've always believed that one of the greatest assets any K/S author could hope to have is versatility, the ability to write stories set in a wide variety of scenarios and still make those stories believable. When it comes to this particular author's work, she has proven time and time again she is possessed of this particular talent in abundance. Mirror stories, A/U stories, stories set in during TOS or the movies, no matter what genre she chooses, she never fails to create a tale that stays with the reader long after the story is read.Such is the case, once again, with “Truth in Lies”. Set in the timeline of the second and third movies, this story opens with Kirk alone in Spock's quarters shortly after the end of ST II. He is deep in mourning not only for the loss of his beloved friend, but for the fact they were lovers in every sense of the word except for the physical expression of that love. He makes a vow then and there that if by some miracle he is ever given another chance to have his Vulcan again, he won't let that chance slip past again. It is soon after that he is given that miracle—Spock has been returned to him, alive and well, although the Vulcan's memories of his past are hazy. Frustrated by his inability to remember, Spock comes to Kirk for help. And it is at this point where the title of this story rings true, for Kirk reveals a truth that he knows in reality is a lie. Yet despite the damage it would cause should the truth ever be known, he finds himself desperately living that lie since it has given him everything he always wanted. As time passes, however, Kirk is forced to face a painful truth—no matter how much one may wish it so, reality cannot be denied for long and a relationship cannot survive on a lie. Especially when that lie, in the end, achieves the opposite result it was intended for in the first place. He has no choice but to reveal the truth, a truth which threatens to tear his relationship with Spock apart, to the point where it may never be mended. With no one but himself to blame for the damage wrought by a lie he tried so hard to make the truth and knowing his actions could very well result in a permanent separation from his Vulcan, Kirk's only consolation is that he got his miracle—Spock was alive—and no matter what the future may hold, it is the one truth he will never have cause to regret. Fortunately, he soon discovers that Spock has his own truths, the most important being that he loves Kirk and wants nothing more than to make what once were only lies into a permanent reality.
Another remarkable, unforgettable story from one of the most versatile (and prolific) K/S authors around today. [2]
[art on page 84 by Muller]: This illo accompanies the story, “Truth In Lies”, and goes perfectly with the ending love scene of Kirk and Spock in bed. Very sexy! Lots of emotion going on in this scene. I love stories and illos set in movie arch. M.I. [sic] did a wonderful job with the faces and bodies. They are true to the fal tor pan time line. A keeper! [3]
He was going to tell Spock they were best friends, knowing each other and sharing their lives in a way very few ever did. But what spilled from his mouth shocked them both."We were lovers." Brown eyes widened and Spock swallowed again. What in all the universe had he said? After the fal tor pan, Kirk tells Spock that
they were lovers, but in truth, they were not. What will Kirk do now? And what will Spock do when he learns the truth? Another intriguing and very well done first time by Deanna Gray! [4]
I’m addicted to the tragedy of Genesis so the inclusion of Kirk’s grief got this off to the right start for me. The proposition that losing Spock has brought Kirk to the realization of just how much he loved his friend is exceptionally well-told. Following that, Deanna does not make things easy for Kirk and Spock or for the reader. We are put through a very demanding emotional wringer as Kirk makes a decision that is unworthy of him. He tells Spock a lie.There’s a good moral foundation here, reminiscent of the series, because when that lie is revealed, everything disintegrates. Spock turns from Kirk in a manner just barely short of cruelty. I admit that is unsettling for me. Necessary to the plot though it may be, it is agonizing to envision. I was glad to see the San Francisco bay scene with the whales included here. I’ve rewound so often to watch Kirk pull Spock into the water and Spock unabashedly cling to him. It always soothes me, perhaps more so here. I really needed it.
Their reunion contains everything I wanted to see from the start, but anticipation may have made it sweeter. I like this patient Kirk, this Spock who wants to be certain of his actions. I must say, though, once he reaches a decision he makes up for every second of lost time. The final union in this saga is one not to be missed. Together body and soul, for all time. [5]
This story is written with Deanna’s usual skill, but it has a darker view of Kirk than I am used to reading from this author. Her Kirk is usually a man of great integrity, honor and strength of character, but this Kirk is more flawed.After the Fal Tor Pan a confused Spock asks Kirk about their relationship. Very few of his memories have come back, but Spock does remember Kirk, and believes he is the key to unlocking the rest of his memories. Kirk has intensely mourned his friend, and had been devastated by his belated realization that he and Spock should have been lovers. When Spock asks Kirk what they were to each other, Kirk shocks himself by lying, and tells Spock that they had been lovers before his death. Kirk then makes love with him despite Spock being very uncertain and hesitant. I found it disturbing that Kirk would take advantage of Spock’s memory loss, vulnerability and confusion to take what he wanted, without thinking about what was best for his friend. And I wasn’t quite sure why Kirk thought this might be his only chance to be lovers with Spock and so was driven to lie to him more than once about their past relationship. Also, Kirk doesn’t ever seem to think about what harm he could be doing to Spock by giving him false memories instead of real ones. Kirk finally comes to his senses and realizes that he must tell Spock the truth, despite his fears that by doing so he will lose him forever.
Stories set after the Fal Tor Pan with Kirk and Spock finding their way back to each other are favorites of mine, so I enjoyed the plot. While I wasn’t happy with this Kirk and his deception of Spock, it made for a very interesting and different Kirk than Deanna usually writes, and resulted in a compelling story that had me racing through the pages to see how it all turned out. [6]