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It was published in the print zine First Time #51.
"After Kirk and Spock return from the Shore Leave planet, they both use the lessons they learned while there to begin a relationship together."
Reactions and Reviews
A lovely story very nicely focused on the theme of not lettingthe past control your present or future.
Some of the sections were headed by cool quotes from famous people concerning the past I thoroughly enjoyed this story about Spock on the Shore Leave Planet exploring his past and confronting his future with Kirk.
Spock wants to find out why most of his thoughts and memories have to do with Kirk. He also must resolve something in his past so that he can move on in his life. This is accomplished in a very clever way- he goes to the Shore Leave Planet and conjures up Vulcan and his home mansion with Sarek and A m a n d a . I loved the scene of Spock with his parents and the question that Spock asks his father that he's wanted to know ever since he was a child.
I guess I shouldn't reveal all of it here, but I found this story to be beautifully focused on the theme of the past. I also loved the title that's used in the story relating to the incident when Yeoman Barrows is massaging Kirk's back and Kirk thinks it's Spock.
They speak to each other with such love and quality of caring—so ingenuous and darling.
All this emotion is in their lovemaking such as when Kirk gets some lubricant and at that moment remembers he'd used it on previous lovers so he feels guilty, but understands that he needs to "look to the future", not the past.A thoroughly enjoyable story.
This story nicely incorporates a Shore Leave Planet scenario and the little scene where Kirk thinks it's Spock giving him a backrub, when it's Yeoman Barrows. What a scene that was --what in the world were the writer and Gene R. thinking we would think about Kirk and Spock's relationship?
I personally don't care for the poetic or literary quotes at the beginnings of scenes, though I guess I understand why people want to do that. Also, there was some flawed grammar, although it didn't get in the way of enjoying the story, I didn't think. Especially as there was one beautiful error reference to Spock's "jaded penis."
The story brings up a specific element with regard to the Shore Leave Planet, which leads to the premise of the K/S exploration here. This has to do with people wanting to use the place to relive times of their pasts in order to heal, to leave them behind and get on with their lives. This was presented in a natural way, with Spock overhearing crew members talking about this. Finally then, Spock decides it might be worth his while and he goes down to the planet also, to resolve the unresolved things with his father.
But first, I loved the sad scene of Spock watching Kirk go off for his three days of leave to do who-knows-what. Whatever it is, it doesn't include Spock. Then when Kirk is leaving the planet and Spock is just going down, he declines Kirk's invitation to spend some time together.
Kirk's working through his past has to do with Ruth. Now I personally have never been able to abide this woman-a vapid little plastic doll.... But okay, Virginia gives a plausible scenario for her part in Kirk's past. Not only that, but his early love life gives us insight into why we see him as he is throughout the episodes, all his affairs with women. Best of all, by the end of his leave, he realizes with certainty it's Spock he really wants.
I love the stuff Spock deals with with Sarek. This is a great story for answering a lot of unexplained aspects of Spock's life. Just for one example, why Spock and Sarek never melded.
So, when Spock gets back, Kirk is resolved to express his feelings, and asks Spock to dinner in his quarters. I thought this scene tended to be over-explained, that Kirk's actions and dialogue were too obvious, having to do with Kirk trying to have Spock sit next to him instead of across the desk. It feels like this is one of those things where it's difficult for the writer to get them in the positions she wants them to be in, for the obvious, necessary reasons...and we end up with a passage or scene that's overdone. However, the accidental touching is nice; saying their feelings is nice; Kirk getting a kink in his back and Spock massaging him is nice.. .and it goes from there.
Sexy fellatio (but no, this Vulcan's penis is not jaded.) I did wonder (here's another question for the two-way LOC dialogue): why was the automatic, unspoken decision made that Kirk would fuck Spock and not the other way around? We're given no hint in their feelings about the relevance of one way over another.
But it's lovely sex with the right touch of erotic explicitness, and nice afterglow.I think this might be a first K/S story (or first in print, anyway), and it shows an inventive, thoughtful, K/S-loving writer.
This story "Backrub" which is 15 pages starts out with a quotation from Virginia Woolf. And throughout the story there are several other pertinent and interesting quotations. The story is set during the Shore Leave planet episode. Spock finallydecides that he will indeed take shore leave on the planet. Kirk is already there and having fun with Ruth. After his visit, Kirk decides that he can finally put Ruth behind him. Spock on the planet visits his parents. He discovers the real reason Sarek did not give his blessing for him to join Star Fleet. In the course of the visit, Spock tells them that he loves Kirk and receives their blessing.
Back on the ship, both men are mentally ready to announce their interest in each other. This happens, and the story ends with a very nice long sex scene.The author ties in the title of the story well. I just haven't mentioned that part in my brief LOC. This is a pleasant and interesting story.
What a promising title! That little almost backrub so familiar to us all has lingered in Spock’s mind. He realizes how much it bothered him as he stood there on the bridge, sensing Kirk wanted the touch to be his, wishing it had been his hands pressing into his Captain’s warm flesh. Jealousy is triggered b the knowledge that someone else would dare to assume that right. This is the springboard for all that happens.
I’ve always found it such a letdown in Shore Leave when Spock goes back to the ship alone and Kirk walks off into the sunset with Ruth. Here we are allowed to see the doubts Spock experiences over his reaction to Kirk, and they are very well portrayed. Kirk’s moment of dismay is so sharply felt, and quickly denied, when he learns Spock has plans that do not include his Captain. Interesting that even while Kirk entertains the replica of Ruth, his thoughts are constantly on his First Officer.There is a heartwarming exchange between Spock and his parents, conjured by his own hopes and created by the Caretaker. What a special moment when he reveals to them that he has found his T’Hy’La. All those things he longs to have from his parents: love, understanding, acceptance, and most importantly approval of his choice of lifemate, are his for the asking. There are many nice real life moments we share with Kirk and Spock as they return to their ship and begin the adventure of finding each other. Yeoman Barrows, you’ll never know what your simple gesture has ignited!