Acquainted with the Night (Star Trek: TOS story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Acquainted with the Night
Author(s):	Lyon
Date(s):	1986
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Acquainted with the Night is a Kirk/Spock story by Lyon.

It was published in the print zine First Time #6.

Summary

"Spock wakens Kirk from a nightmare and they are drawn together by their shared experience when Spock shows him the meld he had with Van Gelder while Kirk was being tortured on the Tantalus colony."

Excerpt

"He could not suppress a smile at the incongruity of their determined use of formal titles. "Spock ," he whispered again. " I think I ought to 'warn' you." He hesitated, clearing his throat unnecessarily. "I've never done this. With a man. Before." The Vulcan was silent, and Kirk watched the sharply carved profile assume an expression of judicial consideration. Finally Spock turned his head to meet the human's concerned, expectant gaze. "I have never done this. Before." "Oh.""

Reactions and Reviews

1996

From Kirk's point of view, you will never see a more protective Spock.

1998

This was an excellently written story about the aftereffects of Kirk's experience with Dr. Adams' Neutralizer. The writing was vivid, rich and deep (although there were some excessively long paragraphs).

Kirk has nightmares afterwards, with the vision of Dr. Helen Noel turning into Spock. Gorgeous moments between them, as Kirk wakes up with Spock restraining him. He had heard Kirk's cries and broken the doors open, rather than waste valuable time going to the bridge to override. So cool, so dramatic, so Spock of Vulcan.

Every little moment was highlighted beautifully-- for instance, Kirk's feelings as he asks Spock to just stay with him, as he deals with not wanting to be alone.

A major theme here is Kirk's essential loneliness and isolation--and Spock's. We learn about and understand this as a gut reality of Kirk's, going back to his youth, and ever since.

In a very simple but beautiful scene, Kirk is in his bed while Spock works at his desk quietly through the night. There are also those exquisite, tense moments I love, such as when Kirk comes naked out of the bathroom and Spock is there, and they just look at each other.

I adore, also, when Spock unintentionally makes Kirk laugh. So then finally Kirk can fall asleep, unspeakably comforted by Spock's mere presence in the other room.

Meanwhile, we also get some goings-on on the ship outside this little Kirk/Spock bubble, which makes it feel a more whole story. For instance, Helen Noel trying to see Kirk, and Spock's refusal to allow her to.

And underneath all this are moments of Kirk's arousal, looking at Spock.

But there are even deeper things going on. Kirk understands at one point that Spock, because of his meld with Van Gelder, knows exactly the experience he went through under the Neutralizer. A dramatic scene when Spock has a flashback of it, begins to sink into the torture, and Kirk has to shock him out of it. Of course they end up on the bed, and Kirk is naked...and there are beautiful, quiet moments of awareness between the two of them...and Kirk makes the move finally, and kisses Spock's neck.

Really fine words about the sharing of the secret of their loneliness. Very of-the-moment, Kirk not allowing himself to weigh all the considerations, but just follow his gut knowledge that he needs Spock, as close to him in all ways as possible.

But his need is not enough to bring them together. Just gorgeous is Spock's quiet self-inflicted torture, turning his back on this sharing that Kirk offers. He keeps trying to leave, but Kirk won't let him.

Beautiful, beautiful sex after a dramatic beginning--Spock uncharacteristically making the first move. Spock is inexperienced, and Kirk hasn't been with a man before. Some exquisite phrases here (as there are throughout the story), in Kirk's awareness, of being with a man's body...and hot, strong orgasms.

But there's more, when Kirk wakes up again after having slept a bit, and Spock is still there, and again tries to leave. Kirk has to convince him this was not just a one-time thing, not just a temporary fix for a moment's loneliness. There's a lot more, moments of action and feeling, details and subtleties, but I won't say them all. It all feels very realistic yet deeply emotional, too.

There is a lovely ending, quiet and thoughtful, in Kirk's reflection on Spock's "thoughtful lover's gesture," and Kirk's action in response to it. There is resolution as far as the Neutralizer nightmare not having any power over Kirk anymore, but otherwise it's an interestingly unresolved ending, though very satisfying. Their lives will go on, and we'll find out what happens next in all the rest of the K/S stories and in our own hearts and minds....

2001

"Acquainted with the Night" is ostensibly about the problems Kirk has after his experience with the Neural Neutralizer while on the Tantalus colony. Back on the Enterprise, he's having a nightmare and is woke by Spock, who had been walking by and heard his captain cry out. He asks Spock to stay with him and tries to sleep while his first officer works at the computer terminal.

It's at this point that you realize that, in reality, the story is really dealing with a problem that Kirk already had. Loneliness is not something Adam's created in him, but only brought to the surface was so much force that Kirk can no longer fight it off. It's been with him for a long time. As a young boy with ambitions no one understood, at the Academy, as he flew by all the other cadets in achievement, and then as captain, his position automatically creating a barrier between him and the rest of the crew.

The story very effectively shows all this from Kirk's POV, especially when, after finding out about the meld between Spock and Van Gellar, he realizes that Spock truly understands what he went through. Indeed, that he shares the same problem. That understanding is what finally breaks down the barrier that has kept him from realizing his love for Spock, and enables him to break down Spock's initial hesitation.

The love scene is gorgeously done. It's both men's first time, Kirk's with a man and Spock's literally. But they both have a pretty good idea what to do. Spock is written in such a way that you're not totally sure of what he's thinking, how he feels about what they've just done until, through the meld Kirk asks for, you know that Spock's feelings rival Kirk's.

It's not a long story, but one well worth reading.

2004

I and some of my K/S friends were discussing, "Dagger of the Mind" and it got me to pull out this story. It's always been my favorite among the stories that explore that particular episode.

As the story begins, we learn that Kirk's problems have not ended with the destruction of the machine. Powerful nightmares are shattering his sleep; nightmares of being back in that room, under Dr. Adams' power as he manipulates Kirk's psyche. But Kirk's psyche has some tricks of its own. As the dream progresses, the dark eyes, pale skin and blue uniform of Helen Noel are replaced by those of his first officer. Kirk wakes with a cry, only to find his wrists held by that selfsame man.

Spock has broken the door to Kirk's cabin in order to get to his captain's side when he hears Kirk's cries. They talk for a few minutes, but when Spock turns to leave Kirk makes a startling confession; he doesn't want to be alone.

Spock agrees to stay, after going to his own cabin for work he can do while in Kirk's quarters. Kirk is able to fall asleep but wakes to the sound of a woman's voice. It's Helen Noel and she wants in.

I love how masterful Spock is in this scene, taking control of the situation as he protects his captain. He denies her entry, sure that Kirk would not wish to see her. He's right. But when he returns to Kirk's side at his captain's call, he's unable to resist asking about the woman.

There's a slight reworking of what took place between Kirk and Noel. In this story Kirk does take her to his cabin, or goes to hers, it's not made clear. But too much alcohol interferes with his "performance." But the confession opens the door for Kirk to ask a question of his own. He wants to know about the meld Spock had with Van Gelder.

Through a complicated give-and-take of words, the two men are drawn together. They have both experienced the loneliness of that room; Kirk physically, Spock through the meld. And for both, the realization that that loneliness has always been there, buried deep until now.

The comfort of words gives way to the comfort of touch and they make love. It's a beautifully written scene, full of passion. Yet their newly-acknowledged love is very evident, there, and later, when Kirk insists on a meld.

You're left with the idea that they still have far to go to get to that place where everything will be all right. But they have started the journey.