If Ever I Would Leave You

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	If Ever I Would Leave You
Author(s):	Kay Wells
Date(s):	1990
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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If Ever I Would Leave You is a Kirk/Spock story by Kay Wells.

It was published in the print zine First Time #26.

Summary

"A/U: A year into the 2nd mission, Kirk & McCoy go to a Vulcan awards ceremony, not realizing that Spock has left Gol and will be there, reigniting Kirkʼs pain at the loss of Spock and his undeclared feelings for him."

Reactions and Reviews

This alternate version of ST:THP was admirably consistent in depicting Kirk's sense of desperation at being without Spock for a year, though I also think the commodore was a tad on the whimpy side. This story was well-focused and I liked all the little mysteries that kept popping up. The illo on page 152a was a poignant portrait of Kirk's despair.

This accomplished writer didn’t quite make me believe in this particular scenario involving a long- parted Kirk and Spock. Kirk’s long-standing depression created by the belief that Spock is irretrievably lost to him—deep in the mountains of Gol—is wrenching. However, his reaction to finding Spock at a VSA awards banquet only to learn that Spock spent but a few months at Gol just didn’t convince me. It seems stilted and rushed when they do converse and everything comes together far too quickly and effortlessly for all the things that have passed between them in the interim. There was some good dialog, especially between Kirk and McCoy, but it needed—and deserved—much more of the author’s time to make it right.