Fictional Character Crushes

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Title: Fictional Character Crushes
Creator: Cassandra Claire
Date(s): May 5, 2003
Medium: online
Fandom:
Topic:
External Links: Fictional Character Crushes; archive link for page 1 (of nine pages)
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Fictional Character Crushes is a 2003 essay by Cassandra Claire.

The posted essay has 485 comments.

The vast majority of crushes mentioned in the comments are crushes on males.

Fictional characters crushes, and on whom? Oh, and MOVIE AND TV AND CARTOON AND COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS DO NOT COUNT. Nothing with a visual. Book characters only. Historical figures count only in fictionalized versions.

Claire's Crushes

See essay for the explanations.

Excerpts

Now, the fictional character crush is a special kind of crush. It is, of course, one-sided, but strangely satisfying for all that. It says a lot about you. (There are the kind of people who crush on Harry, and the kind of people who crush on Draco, and the kind of people who despise them both and crush on Snape, because they like punishment. And then there are the kind of people who crush on Ron - poor, deranged souls.* Like cat people and dog people, they are all lovely people, but - different.) Crushes on fictional characters can turn out poorly to the accompaniment of much heartbreak - sometimes they die (Sidney Carton, A Tale of Two Cities); or they marry the wrong person (Laurie in Little Women) or they become so hideously badly written that you forget why you ever liked them in the first place (Lestat, The Vampire Chronicles.) Usually, however, they're the most enduring kind of crushes there are. :D

*joking. back, Ron fans. Back.

Some Fan Comments

There are nine pages of comments; these are all from the first page.

[goseaward]: Bran in The Dark is Rising is definitely crush-worthy. Although slashing him with Barney or Will can be a lot more fun than crushing on him. Anyway, he's also a musician: nothing's sexier than a Welsh lap harp.
[anonymous]: How can we be talking about Diana Wynne Jones without talking about Mordion (Hexwood)? He's amnesic, he's tormented by guilt, he has superhuman powers, he looks good in a camel coat. What's not to like?
[jennybunny]:

Heathcliff is the sexiest thing to ever happen to literature. Those poor Bronte sisters make the evil men so sexy.

Jonas from the Giver was one of my first crushes. I loved it when he went on the sled ride. I want his fictional babies.
[cliz]: My brother was a huge fan of Animorphs as a kid and managed to get me to read them - and despite the fact that I am four years older and wiser, I was sucked in. I always liked Tobais, but it was hard to crush on the poor guy, seeing as how he ate fieldmice for breakfast. :)
[dayafternext]: Mordred is a sickly evil little blond boy. I love sickly evil little blond boys!
[longtimegone]: From the age of 9 I had a crush on Rhett Butler. Yeah, so he was an ass. He had ungodly amounts of money and just didn't give a shit. Except about Scarlett. She screwed up and lost the man that loved her passionately for exactly who she was warts and all. As I grew older, I began to respect him for leaving her. He'll always have a place in my heart no matter how cheesy it may be for me to love Gone with the Wind as much as I do.
[royokoblue]:

So with ya on the Heathcliff love. I *heart* anti-heroes.

Oh, and of course, also shared Draco-love, shared old-school-Lestat love. When I was 13, I had a healthy appreciation for Benedick from "Much Ado About Nothing." Iago from "Othello" too because good villains have such irresistable charisma. *g*
[cyclogenesis]: Phineas in A Seperate Peace, by John Knowles. Because Gene loved him, and god, so did I.
[ajectivegirl]: ...though I can't remember his damned name. He was Laura Ingalls Wilder's long term grow-up-with-him ride in sleigh with him have his bebbies boy toy from, virtually Little Town on the Prarie to his death. Ah, I found it! Almanzo! Isn't that sexy? I wanted me my very own prarie boy when I was in grade school, and it never quite delivered. Pa, as well, in these books, was the stoic sexy provider and I STILL haven't tasted real venison.
[squigeon]:

Damn fictional crushes...

I crushed Colin from The Secret Garden, too. Him and his screaming. Hahaha...and I was even YOUNGER than 10. Like...around seven, maybe. Must reread that book soon.

Mr. Darcy. Well, that's a given. Despite the fact that I hated the book Pride and Prejudice (I'd appreciate it terribly if you would simply not kill me. Thanks.), I still wanted Darcy. Oh, yes.

Holden Caulfield from Catcher In the Rye. Ah, the angst. His love for Phoebe. How he wandered the streets pretending he had just been shot in the gut for NO REASON :D

James Nightshade from Something Wicked This Way Comes. Come on...I was, like, TWELVE. Don't give me that look. He was described as the boy who ran like a kite flew. And he had dark, curly hair with green eyes. I'm a sucker for the combo.

And, of course, Harry. AND Draco. Here's the main reason I ever started reading slash...I mean, if I can't have either, then they can sure as hell have each other. I'll live through them in some twisted little way. Awww...theirloveissovicarious!

There are more, but I can't think of them at the moment since most happened right when all my pubescent hormones were kicking in and most anything with a dick seemed crushable. But I'm certainly not above fantasizing...just nothing suiting my tastes has come along lately. I need to go to the library :P
[resmiranda]:

Urg. Embarrassingly enough, Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy back when I was twelve years old. I don't know what I was thinking, but the three arms and two heads was basically 5/12ths of a threesome (if you count major body parts... maybe 5/14ths...*ponders*) Anyway, apparently I was fond of potheads....

So cool you could keep a side of meat in him for a month! So hip he couldn't see over his pelvis!
[smallrodent]: I had a crush on Silk from the Belgariad as a kid, and also on Ramses from the Amelia Peabody series. There's something about those rogish types...
[inteligrrl]:

Sherlock Holmes because damn, that much brain in a guy will always be hot. Emerson, Ramses and the Master Criminal from the Amelia Peabody series, each for many different reasons and because they embody all the various combinations for my ideal guy. Mr. Knightly from Jane Austen's Emma. - yet again too many reasons to count. Mr. Travilla and Mr. Dinsmore from Martha Finnley's Elsie Dinsmore series. He was always the loveliest character. Professor Behr and Laurie from Little Women. Uncle Mac, Cousin Mac, Charlie, and Arthur from Eight Cousins and Rose In Bloom by Louisa May Alcott.

Why yes I've always had a thing for older men, why do you ask? *g*
[kalari]:

Yay! Yayayayay!! SOO glad someone mentioned the Master Criminal! I've always loved him...and even more so loved Sir John Smythe from the Vicky Bliss series, because he IS the Master Criminal...only not forbidden (let's face it, Amelia is going to have serious guilt issues if she ever acts on her feelings for the MC). Also by same author...Riley from Into the Darkness What can I say? Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters writes men the way I like them - sexy, dangerous, badboy, and deeply in love with the heroine.

Also have to agree on Rhett Butler and Mr. Darcy...have long maintained that these two are the two sexiest men in Literature (I don't, by any stretch of the imaginations have delusions of Elizabeth Peters being literature, much as I love her).

Oh, yes, and had the obligatory Legolas phase in high school. Come on! He's an ELF-PRINCE! How can you NOT?
[heidi8]:

: notes total lack of Outsiders characters on there.

Of course, my grandest S.E. Hinton crush was Tex. Poor ickle wooblet.

Cassie says I am weird for having crushed on the blind boy in The Cay. I was 11. I was at a miserable summer camp. It happens.
[kitsune13]:

Dude, Alexander was a sexy mofo. Heathcliff, too, in all his puppy-murdering glory, stalking across the moors, throbbing with elemental passion, ready to rend the fabric of death itself to find his beloved... er. Sorry. Having a moment. I read it at age 12, also. *g*

I was a Dickon-fancier myself; have you ever read Return to the Secret Garden? Despite fun slashy overtones, it's absolutely wretched: miserable, trite bollocks that has Mary marrying Basil and Colin and Dickon opening a gardening business, for gods' sake. *shudder*

Other crushes: Sport (Harriet the Spy and sequels), Anne of Green Gables, Turtle (The Westing Game) Simon from Joan Aiken's James III series, FredandGeorge, and this is rather bizarre, but the Bursar from Discworld. It's the dried frog pills, man.
[anonymous]: i am proud of my now-slightly-wrong childhood crushes! *holds head up high*
[llemma]:

And Gilbert! From Anne of Green Gables.

And whatsisname, the guy she sleeps with to spite Jondalar, from the Clan of the Cave Bears series. Though I guess he counts under my rubric above.
[anonymous]:

Count me in too! [Luthe] always kinda reminds me of Isaac Hanson, with all that long curly hair . . . forgive me, I'm a Hanson fan. But that hall, and that lake, and that whole thing with Aerin in "Hero" . . . wooh!!

I crush on way-too-old blond curly haired mages. Yipes.
[zorb]: Very much with the Mr. Darcy. Shexy bastard, he is. I also have a huge crush on Shakespeare's Prince Hal (it counts!) because he just rocks the world. Paul, from Dune, because when I read it I had a crush on a guy who could have been him. And in the HP department, Harry's my guy, because I'm all about the dark-haired geeks. He's also very much in the "Wah you poor thing let me hug you!" category, along with Remus.
[cirakaite]:

Bran from TDiR, of course- and Will, but he always reminded me of my brother, so it wasn't a real crush.

Tannim, from Mercedes Lackey's SERRAted Edge- fast cars, magic, and eternal self-confidence. I can't even remember what he was supposed to look like, but I fell hard.

Anita Blake, because she's Anita. The last book effectively killed that crush, and I am in mourning. It's been replaced by Jason from the same books :P

Beatrice, from Much Ado About Nothing for the obvious reasons that had nothing to do with Emma Thompson.

And many, many more. Including Jaenelle from the Anne Bishop Blood books, and Seregil from Llyn Flewelling. But funnily enough, none of the HP characters, unless you could fanon incarnations.
heidi8:

: again ponders survey about whether there is a correlation between angst over the laurie/amy marriage and SHIPping in HP


Heidi, who crushed on Laurie for about 2/3 of the book, then lost it upon realising that he's actually an utter idiot
[moony]:

*ponder*

I had a crush on Michael Mouse from Tales of the City. Of course it was futile but not because he was fictional, but because he was gay. But I didn't much care. He was just the cutest thing I'd ever read.

I also suspect that when I was about six or seven I had a thing for either Atticus Finch or Boo Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird. Atticus was just so *together* and wise and effortlessly cool, and Boo had all that tragic, secret history going for him. I blame him, actually, for the next crush I list.

Remus bloody Lupin, I am so in love with the man I can hardly stand it. He'll drive me to the nutbarn, he will. Tragic! Complex! Calls Snape 'Severus' and is sincere about it! Knows his Dark Arts! Gnah. Sex-ay wolfy come to mama.

Ah, and I have dual crushes on Aziraphale and Crowley, from Good Omens. They're my handbasket in which I sit merrily and await the flickering flames of doom. Because they're ethereal! And snarky! And they saved the world and rode around in a Bentley and got pissed a lot. What's not to love?

Mmmmmm. Ourloveissofictional.
[leikelar]:

First of all, I have to ask, who could not love Mr. Darcy? I think I've read P&P 10 times, not counting the times I've gone and read just the scenes with Darcy in them. :D I definitely crushed on him for a looong time.

Another other fictional crush that comes to mind at the moment is Adam Eddington from Madeleine L'Engle's A Ring of Engless Light, Troubling a Star, and Arm of the Starfish. Cute, intelligent, mysterious, deep - who could beat that? I still think I'm crushing on him, 'though I've passed him in years, I think. :)

When I was younger, these was also Shasta (aka Cor) from A Horse and his Boy (Chronicles of Narnia). That was always my favorite book, and I thought Shasta was so cool! And then, he ends up being a prince! How great can it get? :)

And finally, Harry and Draco, of course. Who I love more varies from day to day, but I love them each in their own ways. :)
[anonymous]:

How can anyone not love Adam Eddington? I always thought Zach was a spoiled rich kid. Yeah. Idiot. But of course, both are dead sexy if you picture them. *sigh* I liked him when i was 10, I still like him in high school.

Shasta? But..but..he's so..annoying! How can you like him? I always loved Eustace. How cool is he? Sword fighting, saving Jill..everything.

Yes, I agree. Both Harry and Draco. Draco being the drop dead gorgeous one, Harry being the ikkle cutesy one. *drools*

And didn't *anyone* ever have a crush on Aladdin from the Disney series/movie? Come on. Despite the fact I haven't read the book, you all know you did.
[anonymous]:

Nat from The Witch of Blackbird Pond - it's the sailor thing.

Christopher from The Perilous Gard - he's so sulky.

Inge from Quest for a Maid by Mary Frances Hendry - she's just awesome, she kills lots of people, she's good, she's evil, she's good again.

And definitely Ramses and the Master Criminal from Amelia Peabody, but not Emerson...he's too...manly.

And most of the others already posted too. Oh yeah, Mr. Knightly too *swoons*.
[anonymous]: Quest for a Maid: definitely Peem. He's just so sweet with the hidden love

References