The Hatstand Express/Issues 11-23

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Issue 11

cover of issue #11 by Jean
inside art from issue #11, TACS

The Hatstand Express 11 was published in 1986 and contains 48 pages.

  • deadline for next issue: fiction (December 5, 1986) LoCs (January 25, 1987)
  • a fan has a question about art:
    All the zine and circuit discussion got me to thinking about circuit stories and artwork. Is there any reason that stories on the circuit shouldn't have artwork? Granted it wouldn't be as extensive or well-reproduced as art in a zine, but it'd be nice, wouldn't it? I talked to TACS about this and I think she agreed with me. (You did, didn't you, dear?) The major problem seems to be convincing an artist to illo your story. However, if any of you have even marginal talent as an artist you can throw an illo or two into your stories and send it round. Or do as Meg Lewtan did in "Camera Shy" and xerox some photos to go with your story. That was a lovely touch; wish I'd thought of it. Let's see some more imagination on the circuit—poems, artwork, photos. I'm currently working on a story for the circuit and I really want to send along some illos when it goes into the library.
  • an isolated fan writes:
    This is one of my first ventures into organized fandom. I've been reading fanzines for about six years now and finally discovered the Pros about 18 months ago. For all of you long time fans, count yourself lucky. If someone introduced you to Pros fandom or you were lucky enough to discover it yourself years ago all I can say is that you have a heck of a lot better contacts than I ever have had. For the last three years I have lived in a state (Idaho) where not only have they never heard of the Pros, they've never heard of Doctor Who. Media fandom begins and edits with Star Wars and Star Trek. IF they ever find about '/" half of the people in the state will die of shock and the rest of them will march around the capital building to protest it. So far I've yet to find an organized science fiction group in my part of the state, though rumor has it that in the northern part of the state they actually have enough people who are willing to admit that they read speculative fiction that they actually put on a small convention once a year (MOSCON in Moscow, Idaho). As far as a group that can intelligently discuss media I have to wait until I can afford to attend my once or twice yearly conventions out of state. I fell backwards into Pros fandom—and it was a lot of hard work. I first read Pros fiction in a media zine that 1 had purchased because of another fandom. The best story in the zine was Pros. It then took me six months to track down anything about the series and the actors (I finally resorted to inter-library loan books). My major breakthrough was at a SF convention near Portland, Oregon--I found the series novelizations, a few months later I came across mention oi the lending library and THE HATSTAND EXPRESS in an Australian media zine. Pros fandom has given me a much needed inspirational boot to my creativity. For the first time in eight years I'm trying to write a short story. So far I've completed half a dozen poems (they not not be great, but they are all mine). I can understand why older fans might want to stem the rising tide of neos who are gravitating into their fandom. Small, exclusive groups are very cosy. But is it fair to penalize someone just because they don't have your contacts or luck in discovering the Pros?
  • the fan who runs the Library is worried about too much exposure:
    You've seen an ad for the Library in a straight zine? Where? Please tell me, in private if you like, be cause there shouldn't be any advertising for the Library anywhere. It's gotten way too big, and I don't want to advertise in print. Word of mouth is enough, as I have almost more members than I can handle anyway. POTSTAND (out of California) was running an ad last year, but that was supposed to have been cancelled.
  • about the total package of the zine as opposed to circuit stories, that the zine was more than just a collection of stories:
    If reading the stories was all I cared about, then I might wait until I can get them via the circuit. But I enjoy the total zine experience: the artwork, the design, the layout, the carefully chosen mood of the zine, the carefully charted emotional ups and downs of the stories... you miss all that by just getting the stories all by themselves. And as a zine ed, of course I hope other fans feel the same way. [1]
  • a fan sees three generations of fans in the circuit:
    ... the old-timers [four names redacted] and some of the Brits, and the second wave (1982/83 as you said) like me and [name redacted] and a whole lot of others, and then the third wave, even bigger, which is happening right now.
  • One of the topics of discussion was Fanny and Karen explaining why they decided to allow Pros circuit stories that had been republished in fanzines to be eligible for the Huggy Awards in the zine category:
    Karen and I both felt this was fairer to the authors. Presumably a story that has been published [in a zine] has also been edited and rewritten....We also decided that once a story was published [in a zine] it would no longer be eligible for the circuit award...Once in a zine, then, a story outgrows circuit status as far as the Huggy's go.
  • Another topic raised was the question of profit in fandom:
    While much of the [recent debate and ire has been] directed at those who resell [fanzines], I'd like to mention the fact that there are some people making huge profits on the selling of their own zines...This irritates me as a fan because I am supporting someones' hobby..My own [hobby] is costly enough, thank you...I find myself in the curious position of consciously deciding not to buy certain zines because I know the editors are over-charging...Upsetting as this may be, it further hurts me as a writer. I've long felt that writers receive the least in fandom, particularly now when very few offer what a writer really wants most - comment [or feedback]. Many artists earn some money from auction, sale or print selling of their work...But writers and poets receive no financial benefit from fandom....We as fans deserve better from one another, but unfortunately as long as there are hungry fans out there, there will be greedy people who capitalize. It amazes me that more of you are not upset by these practices.
  • a very, very well-known fan, Jane, writes of her displeasure regarding the zine Professional Junkies:
    I read PROFESSIONALS JUNKIES the other day and am quite literally ready to yell. Between Page 3 and Page 5 via the medium of a 'Treatise' that set out to explain what the show and characters were all about to fans who have never seen it, Ed. Keeper angered and hurt me deeply with her remarks about Doyle. I ask you to bear with me for a page or two's letter of content as there is a statement that ought to be made, I think in the interests of this fandom itself. There are many fans of Martin Shaw and Ray Doyle out here, and I don't know how they're supposed to react to the description of him as (here compacted from various paragraphs and parts) a slovenly, 5'6" clone of Starsky who dresses like a tramp and has a face rendered ugly by deformity. All of us know how wildly incorrect this is: the raggy jeans and such were replaced with clothes, in the 1980/81 seasons, which made him the picture of elegance; he's listed as being 5'10" — the actor is 5'8" by his own admission; and the cheekbone is simply broken -- a 'deformity' is a tragic disfigurement one is born with! Good lord, the choice of Ms, Keeper's words! How cruel it was to Martin Shaw himself to say these thing, dismissing all his physical attributes, grace and flair; it would hurt him, I'm sure, to read this, and I only hope he never does... Language-analysis goes something like this. One dislikes the B/D relation
ship and is enchanted by Bodie, as much as this is basic... Therefore, unconsciously recognizing Doyle's inherent physical beauty, one just as unconsciously fears that the B/D relationship will come to pass. Then, as a form of self-protection,
 one transforms the Doyle brand of beauty into — the words tell it all. Slovenly
 deformity. This way, how could Bodie possibly fall in love with Doyle? And we're safe... The B/D relationship will never happen! It's entirely subjective. and ought to be kept OUT of zines, especially in editorial sections! Or people, like myself, are going to get hurt, and pretty bloody angry. This fandom could rip itself to shreds through the medium of zines -- PROS JUNKIES is The Zine That Cured Me Of Buying Zines, unless I've seen them or had them recommended or know the editor personally. That much money, to be exposed to cruelty, I can do without spending! And cruelty I can live happily without. Suffice to say, I've changed my mind about the wisdom of zine producing. [2] At least the circuit is informal, and you haven't got Editorial Opinion rammed down your throat. Zines have a way of formalising things — the Editor Is Right, and if you disagree you're an idiot! I just hope Martin never gets hold of a copy of JUNKIES, because with his much lamented capacity for insecurity, the words 'slovenly' and 'deformed' will hurt him a lot... There could be a ruination afoot in this fandom — and such zines and editors as Keeper and her effort would be the cause of it. Editors should be GAGGED as soon as they've finished typing the stories and pasting in the art.
  • a fan explains how long it took her and how difficult it was to even find Pros fandom, and while this fan loves fans sharing, she has a complaint:
    I think that the lending libraries do a great service to those like myself who are late to fandom, or for those who have read almost everything and need a new source to feed their habit. I do object to the informal circulating of zines that have not yet gone out of print as this practice seems to have killed an Australian media zine I greatly enjoyed, Syndicated Images.
  • a fan writes:
    I can understand why older fans might want to stem the rising tide of neos who are gravitating into their fandom. Small, exclusive groups are very cosy. But is it fair to penalize someone iust because they don't have your contacts.
  • a fans explains some security measures regarding control:
    More than one writer has learned that the only way to keep her story off the circuit until it's appeared in a zine is not to let that story out of her sight — except for the one copy she sends to an editor. It is then up to that editor not to let the story out of her sight until the zine goes to the printer. If she wants a scene to have illustrations, then she only sends that scene to the artist. And if you think this sounds like high level espionage, well, it's not fiction.
  • a fan writes:
    Does the certainty, or at least the suspicion that a story will eventually wind up on the circuit keep people from buying zines? And does it upset those people who have already bought the zine? Since I can only speak for myself. I have to say maybe....Though I haven't bought a zine in a long time, I'd say that my criterion would be the quality of the zine and the price. If I thought the former was high enough, and the latter reasonable. I'd buy the zine even if I was sure I'd see the stories circulating afterwards. As I've said before, I mainly object to paying outrageously high prices for zines loaded with stories that haven't changed appreciably after spending any number of years on the circuit, overproduced zine zines which the reader pays for useless frills and huge hunks of white space (and no. I'm not saying that I think margins and half-tones and colout covers are a waste. I like a pretty zine as much as the next person, but I feel a little common sense goes a long way in zine production.) Would I be upset to see the stories on the circuit later? Only if I felt I'd been ripped off the begin with. [3]



  • Tiger/Lily by Sue Anne Hartwick
  • Raymond by Jatona P. Walker
  • Hadji Bodie by Jatona P. Walker


  • front cover by Jean
  • inside illo of Bodie and Doyle by TACS

Discussion (letters of comment)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 11

See reactions and reviews for Shirt Tales.
See reactions and reviews for My Cousin Raymond.

Issue 12

The Hatstand Express 12 was published in 1987 (the deadline for material was January 30th) and contains 52 pages of PROS discussion, English newspaper articles about Lewis Collins & Martin Shaw from 1986-87 & fiction.

covers of issue #12, front (Jean) back (flyer)
cartoon from issue #12, Karen Eaton
  • The TOTQ for this issue "has to do with fannish writing. Do you see any trends in current writing, any irritating habits that authors seem to have, themes you sight like to see covered in stories that haven't been addressed?"
  • a fan addresses the TOTQ, and she ties it in with zines:
    TOTQ: In the last six months or so I've not actually read a lot of PROFFS material, although I have been buying the zines, so I can't really discuss any trends in the writing. What I can say I like is the way the majority of the zines are presented. I love the way they look. Some of the best artwork I've ever seen has been in these PROFFS zines. And I don't really mind paying dearly for them (sometimes $(AUST)45.00 each), as long as it doesn't become too regular.
  • a fan writes of her dislike for labels:
    How many writers bend over backwcrds to assure their readers (and themselves, I suspect) that B&D may sleep together but they're not (shudder; Gay. No, they're not necessarily gay, even if they sleep together, but they sure aren't straight either. In the case of pair-bonding, all labels are ludicrous, so why bother? I can't see either of them being the types to engage in endless pointless dialogue on this subject (or any otner, for that fact), and I hate being subjected to the same. Neither do I see either of them, no matter what their preferences, being effeminate. Please don't confuse homosexual with effeminate. Please stop turning Doyle into a Gothic heroine in blue jeans.
  • a fan comments about rape in fiction:
    Rape is not glamorous, romantic or a viable way to begin a relationship. If you like rape stories, fine, I have no quibble with that. Just please don't try to convince me that it's Not All That Bad, really, with somebody you love; or that it's a crime of passion. That's bullshit. Rape is a power trip. It's an ugly act committed by people in pain.
  • a fan has a problem with this topic is fiction:
    ...not all mercs are slavering rapists who jump every one who comes within fifty yards. It would be impossible to build a functional fighting unit with a group of men who didn't trust each other. The Game may be real (and I've heard it said), but that doesn't mean that they all play it. And it certainly doesn't mean that they play it within their own units.
  • one of the fans who runs the Huggy Awards thanks others for their input and suggestions for improvement regarding the subject of circuit stories and zines (separate categories, more categories...) and writes that it would be impossible, citing time and energy, to tease them apart for the purposes of categorization:
    In the long run, we're going to get flak whatever we decide because you can't ever please everyone in a group. So in this case, we're going with what we believe to be the right way of doing it.
  • a fan, acting as a go-between, explains why another fan's fiction will no longer be on the circuit library:
    [D] won't have any more stories on the circuit, since she made the mistake of letting her much-too-early efforts out on it in the first place; I know personally that she has now improved to the point where another zine editor (who does NOT work with "media characters") and who is, herself, intimately acquainted with the British lifestyle, has praised [D's] most recent work as "having the British dialogue and situations down pat." But her stories will no longer be available for the circuit.
  • a zine ed comments on profit in fandom, and begins by saying she doesn't think most zine eds make any money, and in fact, lost money:
    I would like to say that editing a zine is hard work and takes lots of time. Okay, so do writing and drawing, I grant you that. But to me (and here is another arguable point) there is not as much sheer creative reward in editing... It is hard to put this into words. I enjoy editing and publishing. I wouldn't do it if I didn't. But for pure sweat and endless exasperation, there is nothing like it. My point is: I do not condone making huge profits from fandom. But I do believe that a skilled editor who can produce a good zine for a still-decent price deserves what compensation she can get. If I feel that a zine costs too much, I will not buy it. If I feel I have gotten my money's worth, I don't care where the money goes... The same goes for anyone running a con, in any fandom. (I do not know if anyone can make a profit at this, either.) I certainly do not want all the work and headaches and will gladly pay someone else to do it!
  • regarding zines, the "tight control" some fans felt they had to use on their fiction to avoid exposure before publication, and how it affected one artist:
    I had occasion in the past year to illustrate a story which was given to me in pieces. I only got to read the scenes that the editor wanted illustrated. I understand that this was because the author was still rewriting and these scenes were definitely finished. Although I agreed to do this, I would not do it again. Because I had only read pieces, I did not understand the "spirit" of one of the scenes I was supposed to be doing, and ended up with an illustration that did not really say what the author intended. Through no one's fault but circumstance, a very good illo — one that I was proud of — was not published. The experience was difficult and the outcome even more difficult. I hope I never have to inflict these restrictions on an artist that I use. Maybe I will regret this, but I think I'd rather regret it than insult a talented friend.
  • gay/slash and the fiction:
    Slash stories as a category seem to ignore the gay milieu more often than not, though B/D pays more attention to this than any other fandom. In spite of the reasonably frequent nods toward the social taboos involved in being gay, it seems to me that B/D writers are missing an opportunity to use this as a source of tension, plot complications, and whatnot—it's at least as much a part of their probably surroundings as old merc friends of Bodie's or ex-convicted criminals revenging themselves on Doyle.
  • a fan writes of her dislike of:
    The slam-Ann-Holly story, and a general negative treatment of women. I know that it's hard to create well-rounded, believable female characters when the main focus of your story is the relationship between two men, but it can (and has) been done. And I don't understand the tendency to write Ann as the biggest ballbusting, castrating bitch in the Western World.
  • a fan writes a long, long letter about how American writers of Pros often mess up with vocabulary and more (no chipmunks!):
    I have to admit that American usage and phrasing in what is supposed to be a British setting does aggravate me and often distracts me from the story I'm trying to read. Some British readers seem able (so they say) to block out the offending word/phrase in their minds and substitute the British one, but I find instead that I'm brought up short and lose the flow of the sentence because the word or phrase jars... I don't think there's any straightforward answer to getting round the culture/language problem. Probably the best solution is the one given in an earlier T.H.E.: find a British writer with the time, ability and inclination to 'de-Yank' (horrible phrase) any Hatstand (and mo, I'm not offering). Other than that, listen to the way language is used in The Professionals both in terms of words and phrasing, and in pronunciation. The only aspect that's missing is the use of four-letter words, and the reasons for that are obvious. The onus is really upon the writer of a story: how concerned is he/she to make it read as authentically as possible.
  • a fan comments on the differences in zines and their content and use of white space:
    I've now read quite a number of Professionals zines, British, American and Australian (and one Canadian) and I would argue that British zines win hands down in terms of most reading matter for least money. I'm not concerned here with the merits or otherwise of the writing, it's just that while British zines are not lovely to look at, there's plenty to read in them. I would find most fault with American zines: they're expensive to buy and have too much blank paper in them. Perhaps they are intended for a home market that can afford them, or if not, they soon will be, for they are already beyond the means of many readers in Britain, and possibly Australia, too.
  • regarding the distribution of out-of-print zines:
    I don't mind if zines are circulated once sold out. After all, friends lend zines others can't/won't buy, so there's no difference there. Surely the aim is to gain as wide a readership as posible and hopefully give people enjoyment. I would admit that I probably wouldn't buy zines if I knew I could wait and read them on the circuit...
  • several fans bring up Master of the Revels and its nomination for a Huggy Award and point out it isn't a Pros story -- one fan agrees and adds one other thing:
    I also have a question to raise concerning the 1986 Huggy Awards, in particular the list given in T.H.E. 10 for Professionals fandom. I don't know the rules governing the awards and I certainly have no axe to grind. I have also expressed my view to the author concerned. Why is "Master of the Revels" given an award in the 'Professionals' section? It's a superb piece of writing and I'd like to see it given any number of awards but a) it is not a Professionals story in any sense for Zax is not Doyle nor is Galen Bodie and b) it is, as yet, unfinished.
  • fans discuss other, smaller, circuit libraries:
    ... the other library [name redacted] mentioned is located in the depths of the east coast. I didn't know there was a third going until your LOC mentioned someone in Detroit. I can't put you in touch with the east coast effort because I haven't had a chance to check in with the person doing the copy distrib. I do know she's trying to keep things small, so her apartment isn't overwhelmed with the operation.
  • a fan disagrees about the reason for a zine's demise:
    I've seen Syndicated Images's impassioned editorial about the circuit ruining his business (I bought my copy, incidentally), and while there may be a grain of truth, I'm dubious that a Pro's, and essentially B/D, circuit it entirely responsible for stifling a zine which is mixed-media, less than 20% Pro's, and not B/D at all. He's continued with an all Pro's zine, I notice. But do try to apply a soupcon of conscience to zine-copying of in-print zines, folks. I do agree with the principle.
  • the librarian for the circuit library writes:
    I've just been informed that a zine called SYNDICATED IMAGES out of Australia was running the ad for the Library - as far as I can remember, without permission. Would the editor/publisher(s) please drop the ad? Thanks.
  • a fan comments on the editorial in Professional Junkies, as well as comments by another fan in an earlier issue of "The Hatstand Express":
    I've got to admit, I'd more or less just skimmed over that "treatise" in PROFESSIONAL JUNKIES, until I read your LoC last time—I went back and really read the "treatise" then, and I can see why you're angry... I think Keeper's problem is that she probably hasn't seen much of the series to start with, and so she may have made the mistake of assuming that she could characterize B&D as sort of "S&H CLONES"—and we all know you can't do that! She probably went by the reasoning (using S&H as the "models") that the "shorter, curly-haired" partner is automatically the "slovenly, poorly-educated and poorly-bred one"; and so that would mean, naturally, that the "taller, straight-haired one" just HAS to be sophisticated, "better bred and educated"...
  • regarding the controversial editorial in Professional Junkies and fannish divide over characters:
    I am afraid I didn't read the particular editorial in PROFESSIONALS JUNKIES that you are so adamant about, so I won't address that specifically. But I would I like to say that I have not seen any schism in this fandom between Bodie fans and Doyle fans, although it is obvious with many writers that they have a preference. I hope that it will never happen. My enjoyment of another fandom was affected because of a split like that. I think most people like PROS for the Bodie and Doyle relationship, whether they believe in slash or not, and this in itself should prevent any sort of split.
  • another comment on the Professional Junkie's editorial:
    I also agree, in the main with the points you make about Professional Junkies description of the characters. Possibly you're overreacting, however. If anything, fandom alrady has a degree of bias toward Doyle, which a bit of inaccurate physical description of the character will not change. There's no lack of interest in Bodie either, obviously, and my own favorite (though I admit Shaw is extremely watchable) is the gestalt of CI5 and the individuals that make it up. Fandom can survive its indiscretions best by ignoring them.
  • a fan writes an open letter (4 pages long, single-spaced) that addresses the long letter in the previous issue, the one dealing with the editorial in Professional Junkies:
    To: [Fan A] in Australia, [Fan B, an editor] and all Professionals fans and fair-minded persons. I was asked to read "[Fan A]'"s letter, (and not by [Fan B]), which had been put on the circuit either by [Fan A] or in her name ([Fan A's], that is). This "letter", which is hardly that as much as it is an attack on what was an honest attempt to further a fandom, deals supposedly with a treatise on the Professionals, which was published in PROFESSIONAL JUNKIES, a fanzine put out by [Fan B]. I do not know [Fan A], or who she is, although cowardice is the only reason I can think of why a simple editorial letter should need a pen name. I've met [Fan B] briefly. I am a Pros fan who likes both Bodie and Doyle, and since I've no need to be anything but objective I will answer [Fan A's] letter. First, let's face reality — Ray Doyle is the product of a clever writer and a damn fine actor so Ray doesn't care much what we say about him. To be so "hurt...deeply" on behalf of a character that isn't real hints at a problem a professional of another sort should see to... [Fan A] claims that her quotes are "compacted". This is wishful thinking. Her quotes are grossly misquoted and out of context. [Fan A] could work for a newspaper slandering politicians she's so good at pulling the words that fit her interpretation and ignoring the actual context which may vary that meaning... [Some other points of the letter: a suggestion that Fan A can't tell the difference between the actor and the character, that Fan A's use of the phrase "tragic disfigurement" as insensitive and "a gothic romance novel description," Fan A's concern for Martin Shaw/Doyle's feelings but having no such regard for fellow fan (Fan B) was callous, that the zine (which never mentioned slash) has no slash in it because it is a "USA tradition not to put them together" in the same zine, that being "deformed" doesn't mean nobody will love you, and that Fan A takes things way to personally].... [Fan A] hated the treatise but never mentions if the characters are accurately portrayed in the stories. Even that would only be her opinion, anyway. Her ability to accurately and fairly critique is questionable. No, on the "circuit" you don't get Editorial Opinion, just letters pretending to be the answer to Editorials. Unsigned letters at that.
  • another fan adds her agreement to the open letter:
    I should like to add my endorsement to the previous LOC. [Name redacted] has stated everything that needed to be said, therefore I second all her motions. As a friend of [Fan B], I should like to add that I am appalled that a fellow Pros fan would attack her so. She is one of the most considerate and "professional" people you'd want to find in any fandom. As a brand-new Pros fan I sincerely hope that there are very few like [Fan A] out there, lying in wait for me. I'm a zine editor, too, you see, and apparently "[Fan A]-types" eat us for breakfast. Oooo, I'm goose-pimply all over!
  • (Fan A) who wrote the originally impassioned letter regarding the treatment of Shaw and/or Doyle in the Professional Junkies editorial responds to some of the criticism she has received:
    Pardon Me For Breathing. That ends "it" before "it" starts - but I can assure you [three names redacted] and I checked and doublechecked every item, and those Americans who tell you we are in error (much less that the letter is "littered" with errors, to quote [name redacted]) are up the proverbial gum tree. However, it is STUPID to be unhappy over words spoken or written in anger 8,000 miles away. I've voiced what I think and feel - and enough is enough. If people react badly, they are free to do so - as I was free to react so to [zine editor's name redacted] idiotic writings... But it has to stop. So let it. Some people will hate me - I can live with that (there are people I hate too, albeit not many), and... 1987 is a new year. Time to bury old grievances and look to the future, right?!


  • Grave Concern by Polly Anderson
  • Zebra Crossing by O Yardley - Party Spirit #8


  • The Wounded Hunter by Diana Romero
  • Loving Warmth by Diana Romero
  • filk "Raymond" to the tune of "Brandy"


Issue 13

The Hatstand Express 13 as published in 1987 (the deadline for submitted material was April 30) and contains 34 pages. The editor notes that the next fiction supplement (#6? #7?) will be out in mid-July and that the deadline for the next regular issue is August 7th.

front cover of issue #13, art by Jean
cartoon from issue #13, Karen Eaton
art from issue #13, TACS, Facelift (Zax and Bodie)
  • the TOTQ: discuss these episodes: Killer with a Long Arm, Servant of Two Masters, and Wild Justice
  • a number of fans, including the author, comment on Sharper than a Serpent's Tooth
  • a fan writes of the type of stories which "slam" women:
    I can't stand slam-women in general and Ann Holly or Kate Ross in particular stories. I swear some writers sound like they hate women, and I do not like that at all. The line I find truly offensive is: "No woman could ever..." Met them all, had the character? "No woman had ever..." is fine. What a difference a word makes! The first example sets me foaming at the mouth, the second implies a loving relationship between the two men.
  • regarding Americanisms in Pros stories:
    I certainly sympathize with the Brit readers running across Americanisms in a story set in Britain, but the reverse can be equally jarring for us. It's nice to say we should get our PR stories vetted, but who is going to volunteer? My British friends aren't Pros fans, and some of my Pros-fan friends have no British friends at all. Now what? I don't know, either, but I suspect there aren't enough willing British fans to go around, so that doesn't strike me as the solution. After all, British fans don't always get their stories set over here checked by Americans. Vas & Dex come to mind. Great stories - beautifully written - fine work all around - with some whopping non-American words included. I smile at them and read on. The goofs don't make me turn off on reading the stories even though I suspect these writers would find Americans jumping at the chance to vet their stories if the job was offered. But if the writers would rather not do that, it's find with me.
  • a fan gafiates:
    Well, it's been six years for me of Pros fandom and I've finally come to the end of it. I've had a lot of fun, made a lot of friends, met some really interesting people and I wouldn't have missed the six years for the world; but I'm plain tired out and I think it's time for me to step away from B/D for awhile and see what else I can do. Thanks to everyone, you've all been fantastic. Thanks for the strokes, the suggestions, the warmth and the fascinating insights into human nature. While I will not be active in B/D anymore, I'll still be around and I hope someday to come back to it when I'm rested. Anyone who needs to get in touch with me can do so through the library. Loved it all and I love you all.
  • a fan defends Master of the Revels as "Pros":
    Classifying "Master of the Revels" is arguable... but one consideration is that it is very nearly unique. It's based on a Martin Shaw role that is not Doyle, true, but the characterization of him in the story, and the introduction of another character (not from Facelift) who is closely analogous to Bodie in both looks and personality, mean that "Master" is playing off the Bodie & Doyle characters we see in Professionals, much as some fantasy-premise or historical B/D stories do, in which the characters may be renamed and to some extent reshaped by their new environment. If "Wine Dark Nexus" is a B/D story, surely "Master of the Revels" is. I could wish the story were finished before it's judged [for The Huggy Award)- I could wish the story were finished, since cliffhanging for so long is strenuous! — but it's hard to say it is not a product of and for B/D fandom.
  • a fan comments on a piece in the last issue, one written communally:
    Individually, I've enjoyed the work of many of you (probably all of you), but the combination of your styles results in a rather... patchy... story that irritates by its inconsistent plot, improbable characterization, frequent use of cliche, and general air of unintended farce. Possibly the farce was intentional, cone to think of it, but for the rest, none of the component writers have, to my knowledge, produced so regrettable a tale before. I blame the collective chemistry. You are welcome to blame my poor sense of fun for this evaluation. I should mention that the collective authorship are no doubt to be credited with the story's having a plot, however inconsistent, and noticeable characterizations, however improbable. Clearly there is talent going to waste here.
  • a fan, [S-A H], takes a fair amount of offense at another's complaint that American writers were culturally careless with language:
    ...oh, please, please PLEASE forgive all us poor, dirt-scratchin,' dumber-'n-chicken'shit hick Yanks for ever daring have the balls to even attempt writing Pros stories! You know what kills me about Brits like you who scream so loudly about the American writers? -- I can recall very clearly years ago in the 'glory days' of S&H fanfic, that I had the misfortune to read quite a few horrendous stories by BRITISH writers. Stories where S&H sounded as if they'd just rolled out of a pub in Soho (when Starsky started saying things like, "Oh, no! Somebody nicked me car," I knew it was time to quit.) And the British "descriptions" of Southern California geography were...hysterical, to put it most kindly (there was one famous story in which S&H were being held prisoner in an abandoned garage in the middle of the desert. Great detail was given as to how the walls were seeping moisture, and how terribly damp it was in there. In the middle of the desert. Right.) And those are just some of the lesser foul-ups. Yet — to my knowledge — all that time, not one American fanfic writer or reader ever condemned the British writers for their pathetic efforts. Seems to me, [name redacted], that some people on the other side of "THE POND" could take a lesson from American generosity of spirit. Glass houses, and all that.
  • another fan takes a more humorous approach to a fan's complaints of Americanisms in Pros lit:
    Thanks for the list of Britisisms. I will try and keep them in mind, although to be perfectly honest worrying about dialect usage in stories that take a perfectly straight cop-show clone and make it into gay elves in Ancient Crete after the nuclear holocaust (and I liked that story) strikes me as straining at gnats and swallowing camels.
  • a fan writes on another's comments regarding the differences in American, British, and Australian zines:
    ... I'm sure all the artists and poets over here [the U.S.] who put so much time and effort into work for zines will really appreciate your oh-so-tender remarks about the artwork and poems in zines. Actually, If I'm going to pay mega-bucks for an over-seas zine (the postage prices alone are killers), I want something that's going to look and feel like a ZINE -- with nice covers, nice bindings, illos, poems, READABLE type & printing—in other words, a QUALITY product that looks as if somebody actually put time and effort into it. NOT something held together with two staples and a prayer, with virtually unreadable, too-light print that looks as if somebody knocked it off in their basement in one night. Nowadays, if I want an overseas zine that IS really a zine, I'll buy an Australian one—the best overseas straight and "/" PRO's stuff is coming out of Australia these days. (I realize all of this will automatically get me declared "persona non grata" in England, but, what the hell?—it's safer these days to stay at home, anyway).
  • while almost all fans require other fan's initial correspondence to, at first, go through the editor, who in turn, acts as a communication clearinghouse, a fan provides her actual address:
    I'm getting sort of tired of all this "cloak-and-dagger" stuff".



  • Still Crazy by Sue Anne Hartwick
  • Blind Run by 4.7
  • Gypsy Bodie [anonymous]


  • cartoon by Karen Eaton
  • Bodie by L. B.
  • Zax and Bodie by TACS, Facelift

Issue 14

The Hatstand Express 14 was published in 1987 (the deadline for submissions for this issue was August 7; the editor said she'd hoped to have it out by ZebraCon) and contains 55 pages.

front cover of issue #14, Jean -- the back cover is by Jean as well, and is the art used as the front cover for a number of previous issues
  • the TOTQ: fans are asked to discuss some episodes: Klansmen, Everest Was Also Conquered and Hunter/Hunted
  • the editor writes: "Last year at our peak our subscription base was 99. As of this date, it is 70."
  • the editor encourages fans to buy their own subscriptions, as she need $360, or the equivalent of 20 subs to continue the letterzine, and she writes of some issues that may affect the future of this letterzine:
    ... as of right now I am unsure if I will be able to complete a full 6 issue subscription of T.H.E. for this year. The problem is very simple - lack of money. As of this date, I do not have enough funds to publish a full 6 issues. The most that will be possible is certainly 4 issues and possibly 5, but no more. The main problems have been an increase in my costs and a drop in the number of subscribers; our subscription base has dropped substantially... Last year at our peak our subscription base was 99. As of this date, it is 70. Some fluctuation in subscribers is normal as I m well aware. I've published a letterzine in another fandom for a number of years and I realize how readership patterns can vary. However, in this instance, it is not simply or totally a matter of people dropping out of fandom and no longer reading the zine. I am well aware that a number of fans read T.H.E. who do not subscribe to it. I know there are consortiums of fans (composed of as many as a dozen people) who buy one copy of the zine and then copy it for all. How do I know? I've had more than one fan tell me directly that this is how they obtain a copy of HATSTAND. Anyone who has spoken to me on the subject of T.H.E. knows I hold a very relaxed view about the zine. I have always stated once an issue is out of print that anyone is welcome to copy it, with permission from the authors. However, the fact that people are copying the zine before it is out of print is depriving it of the subscription base necessary to publish it.... I have no intention of letting T.H.E. fold without a fight. The overwhelming feeling I have always received from fans is one of support and genuine enjoyment of T.H.E.
  • a fan comments on the issue of Americanisms in Pros fic:
    As for the particular S&H story [name redacted] mentions, I, too, have read it. It is so appallingly inaccurate in every respect that I find it hysterically funny. American fanfic readers and writers may have maintained a polite silence over that and similar pitiful efforts; their British counterparts have not been so reticent in expressing their views on such material. Badly written stories are just that, wherever they originate.
  • a fan comments on another's opinion regarding zines:
    As far as zines are concerned, we are obviously looking for different things from them. All I'm interested in is 'a good read" and no amount of prettifying will compensate for lack of reading material, I'm not terribly bothered if a story is printed on less than top quality paper and the staples are coming out of the zine. As long as the story is legible and the layout reasonable, that's what matters to me. As I said in my previous letter, why should I pay out hard-earned money for typos, large blank margins and decorated borders, not to mention all the spelling errors, grammatical inaccuracies, idiosyncratic punctuation, artwork in which the identity of a character is questionable and stories in need of a thorough edit? As a writer, I do not take kindly to an editor re-typing my work with her own incorrect punctuation and spelling, nor would I feel pleased to discover that my submission would not be printed until some two years after I'd written it. [4]
  • regarding artwork, a fan writes:
    As for artwork, I find 99% of it indifferent to mediocre. I can read a poorly written story and either dismiss it completely from my mind, find it unintentionally funny (there are some wonderful examples in Professionals fandom), or can see good points in it the writer didn't develop. Bad artwork, however, totally ruins a story for me. I cringe whenever I see a travesty of a well-loved face. I have even removed artwork from my copies of stories because I've found it so displeasing to the eye. Again, that is purely personal reaction and obviously other people may not agree. I should like to point out to [name redacted] that I'm paying money for a zine which, if it is coming from abroad, is very expensive. Therefore I expect a good standard, not poor artwork included a) because we must have artwork to accompany a story b) to give so-and-so a chance to show what the artist can do. Remember that with a zine, an editor will often ask for changes to be made to stories submitted; that is not often done with artwork. I refuse to accept the latter as something sacred that must be included whatever its shortcomings.
  • fan asks:
    Can anyone tell me how many other lending libraries besides Karen's there are? I've heard rumors of at least five more, but no one seems to know any names. Please, pass the secret on!
  • a fan complains:
    I am becoming increasingly aggravated by the portrayal of Doyle as childlike, female, fragile, too beautiful for his own good. I'm guilty in that I cannot depict him in my the tough man I see him to be in the series, but I hope I haven't yet turned him into the equivalent of a Barbara Cartland heroine. I certainly don't recognise the waiflike creature who is loaded down with jewellery and weeps every five minutes and who is into organic food/vegetarianism that I keep reading about. I agree ... Bodie is tough, probably tougher than Doyle in terms of physical strength but Doyle is the dominant half of the partnership. When it comes to character, he can run rings round his partner.
  • a fan expresses her strong preferences:
    I'll say one thing, even if a story had nothing BUT B&D screwing each other through the mattress - giving each other head, I'd still rather read that than some nauseating MARY SUE story, which is what you find all too often in the "straight" fiction. Those don't have any "plot", either, other than to get the "heroine" into the loving arms of one (or both) of the guys, but nobody ever seems to mention the lack of "plot" in these little Harlequin barf-bag gems.
  • on British zines, and a fan's exception:
    I'd like to qualify something I said last issue about the British zines. I stand by what I said about the produc tion qualities, which are for the most part horrendous, and do not seem to justify exorbitant postage prices (read: you feel ripped off). BUT, there are always exceptions, of course, and I should've pointed out last time, in the interest of fairness, that I've found at least one British zine of consistently high quality: THE SMALL PRINT, a "straight" PROs zine ... There's never much artwork, but what there is, is excellent, and the stories are always well-written, and you can READ the print. Somebody obviously takes great care in putting the product together, unlike too many other U.K. productions I've felt have "ripped me off.
  • on British fans' lack of resources:
    As to the quality of British zines, the fans are not to blame. None of us are rich enough to own our own printing works, and the only explicit British zine ever to be printed professionally - not B/D I hasten to say - involved its editor in so much hassle that the rest of us have wisely avoided the situation since. Over here we cannot even go into a photocopying place and do large amounts of copying for ourselves. Places where one does ones own cost nearly double and I doubt whether anyone would wish to pay for the product at those prices.


  • Bruises by Debra Hicks
  • Dam Burst by O Yardley - Party Spirit #14
  • Decision Making: A Dialogue by Anonymous Thirteen
  • The Rack Revisited by Raist
  • Serendipity by TWEP - GEN
  • Visiting Hours by O Yardley - Party Spirit #13


  • Inspired Silliness by Galina
  • Foolish by Sue Anne Hartwick
  • Wall of Glass by Diana Romero
  • White Lies by Debra Hicks
  • Sweet Revenge by Diana Romero
  • Haiku for Ray by Bodie - by Sue Anne Hartwick


  • front and back covers by Jean
  • cartoon by Karen Eaton
  • interior illo of Doyle by Tammy
  • interior illo of Bodie by Tammy
  • interior illo of Doyle by horseshoe with a T inside it

Issue 15

The Hatstand Express 15 was published in 1987 (the submission deadline for this issue was November 28, 1987) and contains 69 pages of PROS discussion, newspaper articles/play reviews, a Karen Eaton cartoon, & fiction.

  • the TOTQ asks fans to discuss the episodes: When the Heat Cools Off, Look After Annie, and Blind Run
cover of issue #15
  • [S-A H] addresses [O Y]:
    This is the last I'm saying on the subject, then I'm letting it rest. Did you honestly think that no-one would react very "strongly" to Felicity's very "strong" LOC? I refuse to apologize for being "rude and impolite" to someone who's all ready got that particular market cornered. Contrary to what Felicity said last issue, I had no trouble reading—and understanding all too well—her previous LOC. If all she was trying to do was answer a "perfectly valid question" from one of my "fellow countrywomen", why did she find it necessary to reply in such a hostile way? Her remarks about the American writers (and zines) were thoughtles, harsh, and crude; how did she expect us to react to her tone? Her LOC should've come with a "Warning" sign as to hostility content alone. Not to mention insensitivity. No one is entitled to that, either. Somebody mentioned last time that she's tired of seeing Doyle portrayed in fanfic as "female", or "waifish", -or "childlike", etc. I agree he's none of those things; in a lot of ways, he's a lot tougher, and a lot more ruthless, than Bodie is. But I really believe those "characterizations" of Ray came about, probably at least partially, in reaction to his portrayal as a guttersnipe in too many other fan stories. INJURED INNOCENTS and BEAR NECESSITY and A NECESSARY EVIL come to mind as being the worst offenders in that category; I was ready to throw those stories across the room before long. If Doyle was such a sloppy, uncouth low-life, with no class or style, it's a miracle he ended up with as many women as he did on the series (I don't recall any of his women looking as though they'd just rolled out of a gutter, either); if he had no brains or intelligence, it's a wonder he went as far as he did at the Yard, and was ever picked for CI5. He's not a weepy little flower, but neither is he thickskinned or crude; he's a man who's not afraid to show his emotions, not afraid to cry; a man who cares too much about too many things for his own good, and is too easily hurt, too ready to take on guilt (THE RACK, DISCOVERED IN A GRAVEYARD, NO STONE, YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT); if anyone has any "rough edges", I think Bodie should win, hands down. The differences in their background are great; Ray had to have still been in art school when Bodle was a mere. When Bodie was in the SAS, Ray was a cop—the experiences aren't even comparable. And if, as so many fan stories would have you believe, Bodie is actually the last word in "refinement," he certainly seems to have hidden it well on the series, too (Ray's remarks to Bodie in FUGITIVE, about Bodie never reading, and never going near a library; Bodie's lack of "artistic appreciation" in IT'S ONLY A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE). True, Bodie could be keeping his "light hidden under the bushel", but the fact remains that just as many, if not more, fanfic writers are guilty of portraying Bodie as some sort of super-cultured, smooth "James Bond" type, as they are of drawing Ray as either a guttersnipe—or a helpless, ethereal creature. Both extremes are as wrong for Doyle as they are for Bodiet we either see Bodie as an unrelenting "predator" with no conscience or morals...or, as the urbane, oh-so-refined last word in elegance and style. Writers who portray them in one extreme or the other are probably the ones with a marked preference for one character over the other; therefore, the "unfavored" character must necessarily come out looking a poor second-best, in order to make his partner look that much better. GOOD writers avoid that trap, regardless of which of the lads they prefer.... [many comments about specific episodes snipped]
  • [S-A H] adds:
    Before I close, I wanted to say that I do enjoy THE very much, and if it had to come out four times a year instead of six, that'd still be better than not at all. Also—much as I like to write letters for THE—I wouldn't miss the letters that much, sad to say. People have gotten too snipy and bitchy lately (I know, look who's talking, right?) In my own defense, though, I've found I usually only get "snipy and bitchy" in response to something rotten that someone else has all ready said; I've got this bad habit of not being able to keep my mouth shut when someone else comes out with something outrageous. Unfortunately, a lot of other people have my same bad habit, but...that's human nature, folks. I'd be just as happy, or even happier, if THE was all fiction—stories, poems, hopefully even some artwork. The first thing I read in the regular issues is the fiction, anyway, and I've gotten to the point now where I can hardly bear to read the letters, knowing someone's probably getting nasty about something-or-other. It'll be interesting to see what other people think about this. I always enjoy the fiction in THE, except for PARTY SPIRIT stories (and not just because O. Yardley writes them, either). They're just not my cup of tea. I find them tedious, repetitious, and boring.
  • [S-A H] said this regarding an early Starsky & Hutch drawerfic:
    Mysti—almost forgot! I don't have that British S&H story I talked about last time. I read it years ago—think it was in '79 or '80—and a friend of mine loaned it to me. It was never in any zine that I know of, but I think the title of the story was "After Hours" or "Late Shift", or something (it was "straight"). I don't recall the author's name, either, but it was probably a pseudonym, anyway (smart move on the author's part!--oooh, that was mean!). Anyway, I know that doesn't help much, but that's all I got. I wished I would've made my own copy of it, too, just for the humor value of it (it's a great spirit-raiser, especially if you're recovering from the stomach-flue, or such!). Oh, and by the way, thank you for writing to THE and saying that you agreed with what I said re: Felicity's comments. Lots of people wrote to me privately to tell me that, too, but nobody else saw fit to say it in public. It's appreciated, believe me!


Issue 16

cover of issue #16, Jean
1988 list of O Yardley's fiction
1988 list of O Yardley's fiction

The Hatstand Express 16 was published in 1988 (the submission deadline was March) and contains 42 pages.

  • the deadline for the next issue is mid-August
  • this issue has one piece of fiction: by O. Yardley ("Beneath Your Station" - Party Spirit 20) and one poem, "Sapphire and Jade" by Lily Fulford
  • a fan comments on Chalk and Cheese:
    This is an addendum to the LoC I've already sent, and I thought it was important enough to write to T.H.E. This is prompted by my reading of the story, HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN, which appears in the current PROs zine, CHALK & CHEESE #1. I'd like this to be an open plea to all zine editors in the future: PLEASE, editors, when a story is actually a torture/wallow epic, PLEASE have the honesty and integrity to label it as such in your flyers and your ads! [for more, see that page]
  • the editor writes:
    I have made it a policy in the past to interfere as little as possible with any submissions sent to the letter portion of T.H.E. Beginning with this issue, and from now on, I am announcing a new policy for the letters. While I will continue as much as possible not to make any changes in letters which arrive for publication, I will, when I deem it necessary, edit any submissions which I believe to contain personal attacks on other fans, overly excessive criticism, etc. I will, of course, inform the letter writer of any cuts made in their letters, and I will do my best to leave all submissions untouched. I have received a number of notes from fans voicing concern about what they see as the increasingly personal tone of some comments and criticisms in T.H.E. and this policy is designed to keep discussion at a maximum and personal comments at a minimum. If anyone has any questions or comments about the new policy, please let me know and I'll respond to you as best I can.
  • a fan writes:
    The first B/D story I ever read was Crying for the Moon - which I was reading because it was a S/H story - and I had no idea who these two were, but knew that I had to find out. Which happened when I attended my first Z-Con. What a revelation! Of course, I had to join the library - and one of the first stories I got was What the Thunder Said. After that I knew I had to get my hands on anything by Fanny Adams, and by Araminta. How do I feel about her work? The woman knows which buttons to push. I've laughed out loud at Babysitter Boogie, cried at What the Thunder Said, and enjoyed Cat Tales immensely. She's one of the few authors whose work I return to again and again, getting the same pleasure on the first or fifteenth reading of a story. When I see a story by Fanny, I know that the characterization and plot will be valid, and that it will be a believable story. So, thank you, Fanny, for the many hours of reading pleasure you've provided, your work is appreciated.
  • a fan asks about a proposed zine:
    Just one more question: can anybody tell me what's happened to the proposed B/D zine JOURNAL OF THE PRIAPISMIC MONSTER? It was due out ages ago, and I only heard from the editors to tell me they were using my poems, but then that was it. Has it been cancelled? Anyone heard anything?
  • a fan wants to know more (though her use of S&M appears to describe torture than BDSM):
    I have a burning question to ask of you authors who write your S&M epics with such devotion and glee: WHY? If you supposedly "love" these characters, why put them through such humiliation and degradation in your stories? If this is how you treat characters that you "love"—how do you deal with those you hate?! I have never understood this, not in all the other fandoms I've found it in: SH, HARDCASTLE & McCORMICK, SIMON & SIMON...etc, etc. If you authors could explain to me the thrill and satisfaction you get from writing this stuff, I'd be very happy to be enlightened!
  • a fan analyzes the pair:
    I agree... that Doyle is the dominate half of the team, a condition I think would extend into the bedroom. While both of them are very aware of their sexuality, Doyle is the more aggressive of the two, Bodie the more romantic. Bodie may be the first to admit to being in love with his partner, but Doyle would be the one to do something about it.
  • a fan complains about a lack of communication:
    Oh, I understand that everyone gets busy... but does it take that long to sit down and write a letter - one sentence, page or several? And, to add to this, there are such incredible lengths. Now, I know that I am definitely slow at communicating/letter writing if work gets hectic or other problems come up - however, as soon as humanly possible, I get some kind of message off to let the person(s) know...hey, I have not forgotten or 'pardon me, but what did you want from me or I promise to send?' But, that kind of communication should be mutual. If I send that kind of note, I would deeply appreciate some kind of answer back...especially to let me know if you got the letter (we all know the reputation of the post awful)...or what. I would truly help, and I try to impress this upon any fen meet, if you do not hear from me within a reasonable length of time, keep writing and reminding really upsets me when people think 'Oh, another one...I'll just give up...'... As to those writers or artists I have written and never heard from... I have been taught that it is common courtesy to respond of some kind... even a short 'Sorry, I'm busy and really can't take up a correspondence' ...or 'I'm really lousy at writing letters'...even a 'I really am not interested in writing to you for (blank) reason'...would be appreciated. Now, no disrespect to your right not to respond, but, would a letter take that much time to acknowledge?
  • a fan crabs:
    I see by the list of Huggy Award winners in the last issue of HATSTAND that the Fanny Adams/[name redacted] Admiration Society was out in full force at Zebra Con. There is so much excellent work being done off-continent by British and Aussie writers, I was disappointed to see them represented so sparsely in the awards list.
  • a fan comments on what she feels to be differences in standards and behavior with zine publishers:
    I would like to comment on what a pleasure it is to deal with British and Aussie zine publishers. One gets significantly quicker turnaround from England and Australia, and when these ladies advertise a zine, they actually have it available to mail. They are not as blase as many of their American counterparts and have sound business integrity: there are no empty promises with regard to promised deadlines, they will answer correspondence, and zines arrive so promptly (a month later), I don't really mind that international postage is so expensive. Over the years I have grown weary of being "taken" by zine eds this side of the pond who had more initial enthusiasm than stamina and staying power, and were resultantly unable to produce the advertised product, despite my contribution of "reserve" money, which unsurprisingly was never refunded.
  • a fan writes her opinion of some fiction, plus a request to those using photocopiers:
    "Way of the Samurai" is a superb piece, demonstrating fine characterization, especially that of the fascinating adult-child Bodie. I did not mind that there was no plot evident in this piece. Its sequel, however, I found to be irrelevant to my B/D fannish interests and completely uninteresting. I am in this fandom to read Bodie and Doyle, not two other characters. The CAT TALES series I have always found vaguely depressing and, truthfully, I never made it all the way through the CAT TALES zine. The EMMA stories are okay, but I've never felt the need to take copies after reading them. For the most part, Fanny's sense of humor is a little off the wall for my taste (and I consider mine is pretty weird); her operatic spoof La Triviata Pursuitto left me cold. Although, I will mention that I found her Bodie and the Beast to be hilarious--I loved it. In ending, I have a request for those writers who are using printers to produce final copies of their stories. Could you please use "letter quality" or, at least "double pass" to do it? I often receive stories that were originally printed "single pass" on a dot matrix printer, and are now third or fourth generation photocopies. Consequently, they are very faint, and it detracts so much from the story when it is difficult to make out the print. Also, to anyone making photocopies, could you please remember to clean off your photocopier's glass plate, if necessary: smudges left behind propigate themselves on subsequent photocopies made from them.
  • a fan writes:
    When we first started reading B/D, there was a backlog of several hundred stories that had been circulating within a very small group of fans for several years. Until fairly recently, we've been getting a mixture of new stories from experienced writers, new stories from brand new fans and stories that have been lying around in slush piles for ages. I find that just lately things have slowed down dramatically. Original ideas are harder to find simply because so much has been done already. Fans are notorious for writing first time stories and there are only so many ways two people can decide to have sex together. I don't think time has been a factor to fanlit in general so much as it has been to certain writers in particular. Take Lainie Stone for example. Though her early work is sometimes awkward, if I could turn out first drafts like the ones she produces these days, I could die happy. Then there are people like Marion Kelly who couldn't turn out a bad story if you held a gun to her head. I suspect she's always been that good.
  • a fan comments on the quality of slash stories in Pros as opposed to other fandoms:
    About the same as any other fandom, I think. A lot of writers have come here from Trek (as they did in S&H fandom) and brought their writing skills with them, but there are a lot of new writers here as well. Content can be illustrated to some degree by saying that many writers left Trek for S&H because they were drawn by the desire to write about human beings in the twentieth century where there are no easy answers, no deus ex machina to intercede at the eleventh hour. I think the same can be said about Pros, though the genre to which it belongs is more spy than cop, and, therefore, just a little closer to the realms of fantasy than S&H.

Issue 17

cover of issue #17, Jean

The Hatstand Express 17 was published in 1988 (the submission deadline was August 8) and contains 44 pages.

NOTE: some of letters, portions of letters, and part of O Yardley's interview were missing from this issue. The editor apologizes for this error in issue #18, and includes those portions there. For continuity on Fanlore, these missing portions of the letters are included below but will be in ITALICS.

  • a fan writes of her preference for this letterzine's focus, one that seems counterproductive to the focus of letterzines in general:
    Please keep your letters brief so that there'll be room in each issue for more than one story. It's bad enough having to wait for the rest of the "Party Spirit" series when it's obviously been finished, but only one? And no other stories either! Not fair at all.
  • a fan responds to another regarding awards:
    Re: your comment on last year's Huggy's, may I point out that Meg Lewtan -- an Australian -- won as many writing awards as Fanny did? And say what you like (or dislike) about her writing, can anyone deny [her] place as one of the best artists this fandom has seen? Well, there's one thing I've learned in 8 years of Huggy Awards: no matter how they are formatted, Someone Will Bitch. And no matter who wins, Someone Will Bitch. I agree that there has been a lot of outstanding material out of Australia this year, and I would hope to see that reflected in the Huggys... but I have no control over the results. As always, it's up to the fans to vote the way they want to.
  • a fan responds' to another's comments about her zine, Cat Tales:
    Yeh, we were trying to meet a deadline, and you're right about CAT TALES being rushed there at the end. That zine could easily have been (and perhaps should have been) twice as long - but we wanted to get it out on time, and, quite frankly, we were both getting a bit tired of eating/breathing/sleeping CAT TALES, and wanted to go on to other things. Still, I don't feel we compromised ourselves - no, not everything is neatly tied up at the end, but that's life, isn't it? Personally, I would have liked to delve more into the uses and abuses of power, but we had to stop somewhere. At least most of the relationships were worked out, and the characters were learning to deal with it all, by the end. Still, when I re-read the zine, I wish there was more.
  • an organizer of ZebraCon says they are sold out (150 registrants):
    Does anyone have any panel suggestions? I still want to do a song tape session on Friday night...but I need song tapes! If anyone has one they'd like to bring (or send), please get in touch with me right away.
  • an organizer of ZebraCon also comments on that con's format of no celebrity guests, wanting to keep it friendly and relaxed:
    Ladies, ladies. That's very flattering, but no way in hell. Star cons and fan cons are very different animals, and I don't want ZCon to ever be anything but a place for fans to get together, let down their hair, and be themselves. Meet new friends, have a good time, no pressures, no hassles. Having a guest star changes the nature of a con tremendously, and brings a whole new set of problems that quite honestly, I don't want to deal with. Besides, both these fandoms are predominantly slash, and how can we have a fun, relaxed con while denying what we're all about? I am thrilled that ZCon has such a good reputation, but we will never have a guest star. Period.
  • a fan is worried about a writer becoming discouraged:
    I have long appreciated O. Yardley's prolific contribution of stories to this fandom and I hope that she has not been negatively influenced by the comments made about some of her works a couple of issues back. It would be an immeasurable loss to PROFESSIONALS fandom should O. Yardley elect to no longer submit stories to the HATSTAND EXPRESS or to the circuit, due to disgruntled remarks made by a single individual.
  • a fan, [R K], liked Hatstand Express Interview with Fanny Adams:
    I found the writer profile on "Fanny" fascinating. I've known the lady for years, but there was so much more here than I'd ever thought to ask. So much I agree with, so much I feel I learned, so much to encourage us all... Fanny knows how much I enjoy the body of her work. It was interesting to me to learn which stories she herself enjoys most and least. I want to reassure her that I was very impressed with "What The Thunder Said" even though it is very painful, because it is also encouraging. As romantic as the notion of killing oneself after the death of a loved one might be, learning to live is harder. Accepting that Bodie would not uant Doyle's life wasted is a burden he takes on and manages, and there is enough loving magic to ease the pain for us all.



  • Believing by Diana Romero
  • Discovered in an Aquarium by Elaine Leeke
  • Love is Made by Diana Romero

Issue 18

The Hatstand Express 18 was published in very late 1988; the editor calls it a "holiday issue." (the submission deadline was 20 November 1988) and contains 52 pages of PROS discussion.

This issue also contains some letters that were supposed to be in issue #17, as well as some missing portions of the Hatstand Express Interview with O Yardley. For the purposes of continuity on Fanlore, the missing portions of those letters are included in the previous issue.

cover of issue #18, artist not credited
  • from the editor:
    As I said in the last issue, I want to give you a brief report on the financial health of T.H.E. The selling of back issues at ZebraCon did help somewhat, but I am simply still not totally sure that a full 6 issues can be printed on the available monies. I am very hopeful that this can be done and I should know for sure by the next issue. I am also still open to feedback and opinions on the idea of changing T.H.E.'s format to all fiction when the next cycle of issues begins. Please do let me hear from you.
  • [F A] addresses [D V S] about Cat Tales:
    I was particularly interested in your comments on Cat Tales, but I can't help but feel that calling it a 'religious tract' does it and me a disservice. To write such a tract, an author must be one of three things: Committed to the subject of the tract. Committed to the effect of such a tract. Well paid. I think we can eliminate #3 as a possibility. As to the other two, all I can say is that I have no vested interest in manipulating my readers into believing in magic, Faery or the Power of Love. I don't believe in the first as set forth in C-T, have no evidence of the second and the third is my own business. C-T was written to explore some themes which I still find fascinating. In this case, at least, it's best if you don't ascribe any other motives to it. However, since you and Susan both felt I was writing propaganda (which is what religious tracts are), I'll have to be very careful in the future, won't I?
  • [F A] addresses [D V S] about other topics:
    What really set me thinking, though, were your comments on Samurai. And the more I thought, the more I felt that your argument was specious. On a purely superficial level, the alternate universe label must be enough to validate the changes I chose to make in the Pros universe. This is not the universe as set forth in the series, though there are points where the two overlap. Arguments based on the series become invalid when you deal with alternate universes. If I wrote an alternate universe story in which Doyle died in Graveyard, would it be an invalid story? Of course not. It's an alternate universe - a place for exploring ideas and themes which cannot fit into the aired series. However, even if I hadn't been writing a.u., I think the argument that Bodie doesn't walk like a martial artist is still invalid simply because you're confusing the real limitations of an actor with what you perceive to be the limitations of a fictional character. You're also confusing the responses of a real martial artists with those responses demanded by the script, the director, the stunt nauseam. If, in any of the episodes, it had been stated that Bodie had never formally studied any martial art, Samurai as a series-based story would have been invalidated. As it is, several episodes do suggest Bodie has at least a passing familiarity with Martial arts. Consider the scene with Shusai in Wild Justice. Television work doesn't demand the illusion of truth. It simply requires that the vast majority of viewers accept most of what is said and done in each episode. One hopes for continuity, certainly, but even programmes which are models of good continuity can fall down on important details. I remember that "Starsky and Hutch" (in which the continuity was superb) contained a major glitch which fans argued about for years. Hutch's ex-wife was called 'Susan' [5] in the pilot, but when she showed up on the show in the third season, she was called 'Vanessa.' I appreciate your taking the time to make your comments which in turn made me think about what I'd written. I enjoy that sort of feedback.
  • [F A] writes further about feedback:
    If I may hard back to #16 for a moment. Thanks to everyone who commented on my work. I was particularly pleased to find "What the Thunder Said" mentioned several times since, as I indicated in my interview, I'd previously received so little feedback on that story. [T]: I'm sorry you didn't like "Pas de Deux." My caveat at the beginning of the story was intended to warn off readers like yourself who want "to read Bodie and Doyle, not two other characters." Let me be perfectly frank with you and anyone else who had a similar response. Don't bother to read any more in the Fox and Wolf universe. You won't like it.
  • [K] comments on letters and interviews in this letterzine:
    Regarding whether the letters section should be kept or not, my preference is Yes, since I have always enjoyed reading them. Maybe it's not so much that others don't enjoy reading them as well, but just tough to get motivated to write them. [S B], When you requested that letters should be shorter, did you mean the fan letters of comment or the interviewees' letters responding to questions? If you meant the latter, then yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly, I took great exception to the first interview: the writer seemed to go on and on, and on, and on...resulting in only two very short stories being included that issue. Otherwise, if you were referring to long letters of comment, then I disagree, since they seem to be so thin on the ground these days. O. Yardley's interview was an entertaining read, betraying a charm of personality and furnishing an interesting and amusing insight into her writing methodology. It's too bad that she seemed to feel the need to mitigate her statements and opinions with little one-liners at the end of some of her responses, as if in fear of other fans taking exception to an expression of her own point of view. Her interview was just the right length.
  • [Agent 7] talks about the decline in letters to this letterzine:
    I have a sinking feeling that as with other previous interviews, my letter will be one of only a very few. I am quite upset by the fact that so many care so little about the people who are the core of fandom. Without writers where would we be? What would we have? Certainly not the 1000+ stories on the circuit and in zines. Is it that difficult to take five minutes to write a note of thanks to the people who give us all so much? You don't have to write an analytical treatise; a few words about which stories you like would suffice. We are fortunate that fandom's writers don't take the cavalier attitude so many fans have taken when it comes to letting an author know her work is enjoyed. There are those who communicate directly with their favorite writers, but so many of us say nary a word. Here is an easy way to say thanks. It's a shame so few have taken advantage. [6]
  • [Agent 7] addresses another fan, [F A]:
    [Fanny]: In her comments about "Cat Tales" in issue 17, Karen says you were both tired of the story line, etc. By opting to publish at that point rather than putting the material away till it was again fresh or of interest, you*ve done yourself a great disservice. This is hardly the course that should be taken by someone who wants to be a professional writer. Writing takes enormous discipline; to publish prematurely reveals a lack of discipline. You've shown in your interview that you think a great deal about what you write; you've analyzed your writing skills well. That you would publish before a story is really ready is thus disappointing. I do not profess to know all that was involved in your decision to do this; only you know why, but I hope you'll resist that fatigue next time, keep the story till you're ready to finish it.



Issue 19

cover of issue #19, Jean
a 1989 list of Lainie Stone's fiction

The Hatstand Express 19 was published in 1989 and contains 45 pages of PROS discussion.

  • the editor writes:
    Welcome to T.H.E. #19. This issue includes an excellent interview with Meg Lewtan and a great assortment of fiction. I want to thank all those who contributed to this issue - you've insured another good zine. I also again want to emphasize to everyone that contributions are not only always welcome - they are an absolute necessity. With the shift in format to all fiction beginning shortly, there is a very real need for stories, poems, limericks, etc. for THE. One statement I made in the last editorial that I wish to correct concerns the maximum page count. With the expanded format, THE will be able to accommodate stories up to 50 or so pages single spaced. (In the last issue, I stated the zine would be able to handle stories of that length double spaced.) So please all you fannish writers (and prospective writers), do keep THE in mind for your B/D creations. They will receive a loving home, I guarantee it.
  • there is a long interview with Meg Lewtan which is here, also see Hatstand Express Interview with Meg Lewtan
  • this issue contains only two LoCs; both are about Meg Lewtan's work, see her page




  • front and back covers by Jean

Issue 20

The Hatstand Express 20 was published in 1989 (submission deadline was July 20) and contains 47 pages.

front cover of issue #20
  • this issue contains an interview with Lainie Stone, see Hatstand Interview with Lainie Stone
  • the editor writes:
    I again ask (plead...beg) all of you fannish writers out there to consider T.H.E. as a possible home for your work. With the change in format from primarily a newsletter to a fiction zine, contributors will now receive a free copy of the issue in which their work appears. As stated in #19, I can print stories with a single spaced page count of 60 to 64 pages.
  • a fan writes of Lainie Stone:
    Many of the stories written by Lanie Stone are among the best in fandom. She has a knack for crafting real characters and poignant moments in a short space. "Jon," "Secrets," and "The Watcher" all tell their tales in strong, clear language that holds the reader in its spell. "Apprentice to a Journeyman", one of the hottest few pages in fan lit, and "Brass in Pocket" contain some of the most memorable moments. Who could forget Doyle in the gold silk robe pondering the matter of his appearance. In addition, many of Lanie Stone's stories seem to reflect a willingness to attempt something new, be it in format - "Conversation on a Sinking Raft," "First Week Thoughts," "First Week Thoughts Five Years Later"; universe - "Aurelian," "Rachid"; or in the past or future Bodie and Doyle might expect - "Rules of the Game," "Charity Never Faileth," "Braille," "Brown Study," and "Heat." Certainly many of the classics or must-reads are found on the list of her stories - "Aurelian," "Brass in Pocket," "Apprentice to a Journeyman," "Brown Study," "Crystal Magic," "Heat," "Rachid," "Rules of the Game," "Secrets," "The Complete Turn-On," "The Watcher," and "Yenta." Her skill for storytelling and shaping memorable characters and fleshing out Bodie and Doyle with different characteristic . combinations, in treating unusual subjects has enriched fandom greatly and given us all some of our most memorable reading experiences.
  • another fan writes of Lainie Stone:
    As I looked over the list of stories that Lanie Stone has given fandom, I realized how many of my favorites were there. She has truly given me many hours of fannish reading enjoyment. I think one of the reasons for this is the many different Bodies and Doyles she has given fandom in her work. In each of her stories, I have found some new aspect of both characters exposed and explored. Certainly the Bodie and Doyle seen in such diverse stories as "Art Forms," "Brass in Pocket," and "Sapphires at Midnight" are all different, yet totally believable, characters. Lanie shows fandom a Bodie and Doyle who are flawed, vulnerable men - and I always find myself most fascinated by those stories which tell of our heroes in just this way. I must admit that it has always been a nice bonus that Lanie writes excellent (translation: very HOT) sex scenes when the story calls for them. Certainly "Apprentice to a Journeyman" is one of the best and hottest stories of its kind in fandom. It's impossible for me to select my "favorite" Lanie Stone story. But, in addition to the stories I've already mentioned, some of my other favorites are: "Brown Study." "Five and a Half Months," "Rules of the Game," and "Braille." I also have enjoyed Lanie's forays into historicals (these 'alternate' Bodies and Doyles are always such fascinating men!), with my favorites being "Aurelian" and "In His Majesty's Secret Service."
  • a fan posits that the Pros fandom "began with "/" stories and eventually "straight" stories were written, a backward progression compared to that In other fandoms," and asks another fan if she ever felt an urge to write a purely straight story. The reply:
    I started out with straight stories. Back in the far beyond there were several straight stories written, but we were told quite firmly to write slash or don't bother so, like all good hacks, we shrugged and wrote for the audience. It's actually come full circle.
  • a fan comments on whether Pros fiction has changed over time:
    I can't honestly say I think stories have improved overall. Some authors have improved tremendously, but on the whole the mix of good, bad and mediocre doesn't seem to have changed much.


  • Waiting by Anonymous (A post-FALL GIRL story)
  • The Sweet Tooth, or, Consequences of a Sweet Tooth by Jatona Walker

Issue 21

The Hatstand Express 21 (the submission deadline for this issue was January 1990)

  • this issue announces a writing contest -- the results are in issue #23


Reactions and Reviews: Issue 21

See reactions and reviews for Shirt Tales.

Issue 22

cover of issue #22
back cover of issue #22

The Hatstand Express 22 was published in August 1990 and contains 50 pages of Pros discussion, newspaper articles, a 5-page profile of an Antiquarian Man "Martin Shaw", an interview of Kate Nuernberg, and fiction. The zine was printed with blue ink on white paper, making it difficult to read. It also changed to letter-size.

  • Hatstand Express Interview with Kate Nuernberg, see that page
  • the editor writes:
    Welcome to T.H.E. #22. This issue, as you will see, is a bit of a return to the "old" HATSTAND format. Included is the last in our series of interviews. This one is with Kate Nuernberg, well known in fandom as editor, writer and artist. I appreciate her willingness to be a part of this series. My thanks to Sandy who kindly typed this interview. I want to say a very special thank you to Sharon for all the many hours of work she has put into this series of interviews. They were all fascinating and interesting, and I appreciate the time and effort she put into the project. At this time, and after a lot of thought and discussion, I have made a decision about the future of THE HATSTAND EXPRESS. For some time now, there has been a problem obtaining sufficient contributions to ensure HATSTAND is the size I feel it must be to justify its price. Looking ahead, I seriously doubt if a guarantee could be made of sufficient material to keep the zine going beyond issue #24. In view of this, and since it has been a growing problem over a long period of time, I have decided that HATSTAND will close down after issue #24. I am confident that enough material can be collected to fill these two issues.
  • a fan writes of her first reaction to Bodie/Doyle, her answer:
    Negative. I have a prejudice for straight stories. If there were more straight stories in this fandom, I might never have read a slash story. I'm not sorry I did. Some of the best stories in this fandom are slash, and I would hate to have missed them. (I love a good historical.)
  • "*Penny Pinching by Darien" is an article about buying zines in the Pros fandom; it includes hints to save money:
    Have you ever looked at the ads for B/D zines with lust and longing, but sighed regretfully after you'd totted up the cost? Have you been flicking through the library list hoping for a story to lose yourself in -- and that means novel length -- or at least longer than 100 pages? There aren' t many, and most of them have been around for a while. So, you return to those tantalising ads for Australian zines and wonder, again: Should I really risk $40.00 for an unknown product that I may never see? How many times — in how many fandoms -- have we sent hefty 
deposits for zines that must have ended up in that Great-
Printing-Shop-in-the-Sky? Well, they certainly haven' t ended up 
in our mail boxes. I've done all of the above but I do like to give editors a chance, so I ordered Book of Strife from Tanglewebb Press in Australia, and was relieved to learn that their printing place is still anchored to this earth, for the zine arrived. It was packed in a sturdy envelope, and appeared much quicker than I'd expected, based on advertised printing date. When the flyer came for Rainbow Chasers, there was no doubt in my mind. I could not pass up a novel by "H.G." However, each dollar saved is another dollar available to spend on the gorgeous 8x10 colour prints of "the lads", or those fantastic posters Sharon has been selling. So I began looking for ways to economise...and there are several that I found: 1. Club together with friends and send one money order (or bank draft) to cover the whole zine order. There is only one bank conversion fee per m. o. , whether it's paying for one zine or 20. 2. We found, after enquiring, that 3 zines delivered to one address will reduce the postage cost per zine by about $4.00 each. 3. We also learned that paying for 1st class postage is unnecessary. We paid the "SAL" rate and our 3 zines arrived in 2 weeks to the day, according to the postmark. This saved another $4.00 per zine. [snipped] Were the zines worth all this effort? Definitely, despite the lack of proof-reading which meant that there were some very strange words in the text. The zines are nicely bond, the type face is clear and not micro-print. Both novels were "good reads". Book of Strife was a fantasy set in the future, and both the characters and their world were well-thought-out and well-developed. Rainbow Chasers was a beautifully written, alternate universe story that was most difficult to put down. Ray Doyle was justifiably arrogant and independent, and his encounters with the devious George Cowley were pure delight. All the characters were three-dimensional. The humour, at times subtle, was there as it is in the best of the TV episodes. I have no hesitation in recommending this'story to everyone, though I don't know if any copies remain unsold. It would be worth asking about when writing to learn the prices of the next zine to be published by Tanglewebb Press.
  • a fan writes of the first Bodie/Doyle story she'd written:
    The first and only B/D story I ever wrote was "Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth." I did it when a non-slash friend said "I will if you will." (She never did.) I think it rings false because I never quite believed in the situation. I'd like to rewrite it now and take the slash out, just to see what would happen. Or leave the slash in and write a sequel. Or give better reasons for the sex scene. I'm not sure Doyle would react to Richard the way he did and then turn around and bed Bodie.... "Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth" stirred up the most controversy. It's definitely one of my early pieces and could use a lot of work. It think it deserves a sequel, as well.
  • a fan tells why she writes fanfic:
    I write because I'm a fan. I don't have anything to say, and feel no compunction to write otherwise, though I've always enjoyed it. I write because there are only so many filmed episodes of The Professionals and I want to see more. I write because I have a roommate and friends who bug me about it. I write because I want to see what happens next.
  • about the urge to write a "purely straight story":
    I consider myself to be a straight writer. I think I would write a slash story if my characters led me to it, but so far they have not. I would not, and have not, hesitated to include homosexuals or bisexuals in a story.
  • why so many historicals in the Pros fandom?:
    The Professionals universe, as portrayed in the aired episodes, is a very harsh reality. A lot of writers like to see Bodie and Doyle in a world where there can be a "happy ending." Reality is too much with us in our own lives, but since we can't have special powers to change things (or money, talent, or circumstances), we endow our favorite non-real characters with these powers. Also, with two great actors like Martin and Lewis, who can resist casting them in a lot of different roles (and, by the way, let them "dress up'1 in beautiful or unique costumes)? It's also a case of writing what you like, and the genre of action/adventure with a lot of character thrown in can be very demanding — especially if you'd rather be writing something else.


  • fiction by Anonymous



  • front cover of Bodie and Doyle by MZ
  • back cover uncredited

Issue 23

cover of issue #23, M.Z.
cartoon from issue #23
flyer for Pros fic favorites

The Hatstand Express 23 was published in 1990 (submission deadline was August 30) and contains 60 pages. It is the last issue.

  • the editor writes:
    I also want to announce that this is the last issue of THE HATSTAND EXPRESS. I am closing this zine own with the publication of this issue. This decision is one I've given a lot of consideration and thought. I have really enjoyed doing THE and have especially enjoyed the opportunity it has give me to meet so many other fans. However, contributions to the zine have continued to dwindle throughout this past year and many of the functions which it once served in fandom are now also being done by other fanzines.
  • this issue contains no LoCs, but instead "consists of the stories which were received in response to the writing contest announced in issue #21. Four very different visions of the front cover artwork were received and I hope you enjoy them all. In addition, we have the wonderfully funny play [L S] wrote for last ZCon. I want to say a very grateful THANK YOU to the writers who so kindly gave of their time and creative energy to make this issue so special."
  • a fan, [S S], asks for fan suggestions for favorite Pros stories (see image). The results were to be completely anonymous and wouldn't be printed in any zine. They were to be available, after the New Year, to anyone sending an s.a.e. The activity was "just for fun."

Continues the fiction:


  1. This is also one complaint music fans have regarding the decline of the album/LP as opposed to buying single tunes.
  2. This fan goes on to edit and produce a vast number of Pros zines...
  3. This reasoning is also that of fans fifteen or so years later as they wait for stories to time out before they appeared on the internet.
  4. This last statement addresses the subject of the expectation and desire for "instant gratification," a topic that, fifteen years later, fans of printed zines complain that netfans are prone to.
  5. This fan mis-remembers: it wasn't Susan, but Nancy.
  6. from The Hatstand Express #18
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