British Takeaway

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Title: British Takeaway
Editor(s): Kate Nuernberg & Deborah Kay Goldstein
Date(s): 1985-1992
Medium: print
Fandom: The Professionals
Language: English
External Links:
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British Takeaway is a series of The Professionals zines first published in 1985 by Kate Nuernberg.

The zine sometimes appears on fans' Desert Island lists.[1]

Genre and Style

The Hatstand calls these zines primarily gen with a few slash and het stories.[2]

Palelyloitering calls them slash.[3]

The editor, in an ad in The Hatstand Express #12, calls them "mixed straight & slash zine, fiction & non-fiction."

From an ad in July 1993 in GAZ: "BRITISH TAKEAWAY is a PROS zine, predominantly straight (some slash)."

The series was very carefully edited, and bore a distinct editor's tone throughout, aided no doubt by the fact that Kate also did a great deal of the writing (though less as the series continued).

Kate is also an artist, and did some beautiful portraits throughout the series, as well as the cover art.

She also published LOCs (which was common in SF zines, but less common in media zines) which encouraged people to send LOCs, which in turn encouraged writers to trib to her in the hopes their story would get commented on.

Although it had a reputation for excellence (winning multiple Fan Q awards),[4] the series was also seen by some as rather 'dry': despite being slashy, British Takeaway didn't publish PWPs, and her own stories tended to be G-rated. She once turned down a story that she said was "well-written, but sordid."[5]

"Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood Series"

British Takeaway is known for a long-running crossover series between The Professionals, and The Good Life (aka Good Neighbors), a British sitcom set in Surbiton.

This series was called Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood.

General Reactions and Reviews

I wish I could share everyone else's enthusiasm for BRITISH TAKEAWAY, but the zine left me cold. Not that all the stories weren't well-written, and not that the artwork wasn't top-notch, but the subject matter itself disappointed me so much. I like reading "relationship" stories about the guys—THEIR relationship—not Bodie separately, or Doyle separately, involved with a "cast of thousands." Yes, I realize they don't live in a vacuum, but I prefer the zines... [in] which there were still plenty of "supporting" characters, but the guys' relationship with each other was still kept firmly in the foreground. I also don't like stories or zines in which one of the partners is largely ignored, as Bodie seemed to be for most of BRITISH TAKEAWAY (except the last story). And I'm a Doyle fanatic, too! [6]

I second the recommendation, by the way, of BRITISH TAKEAWAY, which looks at the characters in a number of different lights, all thoughtful, and all in good prose. That none are (quite) "/" seems irrelevant; they're good stories.[7]

Another terrific zine is BRITISH TAKEAWAY. I can't tell you how many times I've reread "Doyle's Neighborhood". Even though I'm a Doyle fan, my only complaint is that there wasn't enough Bodie. But that shouldn't stop anyone from reading this zine. I have heard rumors that the story may be continued. I sure hope they are true.[8]

There are about 8 or 9 stories in the Pros/Good Neighbors cross-over universe. They are called "Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood" and appear in "Bitish Takeaway." They are written by Kate Neurenberg and while they aren't slash, they are some of the finest writing in the fandom. Very strong on characters and the relationship between Doyle and Bodie.

Briefly, Doyle has been invalided out of CI5 and moves to Surbiton. His neighbors are the characters from the "Good Neighbors" TV series. Doyle is angry and bitter about his injury and takes it out on Bodie who is still in CI5 and repartnered with Susan. It is a very realistic view of what would happen in that situation in real life.

Doyle gets over his anger and comes back to CI5 in the computer section where his street knowledge is invaluable. Cowley is always in the background spinning his web and making plans, which include interesting things for Doyle.

The series isn't finished. Kate says she has about three more stories to write but she has taken a hiatus from "British Takeaway" for a while. Let's hope she finishes up the series soon because, IMHO, is is great writing. [9]

A class act from first issue to last, and the home of one of my all-time favorite fan fiction series, "Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood." [10]

About Copying this Zine

British Takeaway is one of the few zines that can be freely copied. Even after reprints were being offered, the publisher announced in DIAL #13 (2000):

Some of you may have heard that the British Takeaway series of zines are now being sold via Agent With Style. If you like your zines brand-new, all well and good - the BT series certainly contained some excellent stories and gorgeous artwork, and though they're mostly gen, they're still well worth reading. But if you're on a tight budget you might also like to know that at Zebracon, Kate N (their publisher) gave carte blanche for anyone to copy her zines. So if you've been holding back from copying a friend's, er, copy, by concerns about not infringing on the publisher's rights, go ahead and do it.

Issue 1

front cover of issue #1, Kate Nuernberg
back cover of issue #1, Kate Nuernberg

British Takeaway 1 was published in September 1985 and contains 198 pages.

The art is by Jean C., Kate Nuernberg, and Ruth Kurz.

  • Tender Mercies by Kate Nuernberg (sequel to the episode, "Backtrack") (3)
  • Steele Across the Water by Kate Nuernberg (11)
  • Introducing Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood) (48)
  • Oh! To Be In Surbiton (Now that Doyle is Here) by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #1) (49)
  • Overkill by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #2) (79)
  • Victims of the Vines by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #3) (82)
  • A Harmless, Necessary Cat by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #4) (107)
  • Last Post and Chorus by Kate Santovani, art by Jean C. (118)
  • Catspawn by Kate Santovani, art by Ruth Kurz (146)
  • Sharper than a Serpent's Tooth by Kate Nuernberg (a sequel, "Custody" by Gerry Stout, is in issue #3) (158)

Issue 2

front cover of issue #2, Kate Nuernberg

British Takeaway 2 was published in 1987 and contains 129 pages.

The art is by Kate Nuernberg, Karen Eaton, Ruth Kurz, Sheila Willis, Marilyn Johansen, and Dani Lane.

From the contents page: "Word processing by George of the Jungle, a colour computer with Telewriter-64 software."

  • Reflections Across a Grave by D.C. Black (10)
  • Rumours, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (17)
  • Valentine by HG (slash) (18)
  • Secondhand Emotions, story by Kate Nuernberg (22)
  • Credo, poem by Emily Ross (31)
  • Early Grave by Patricia D'Orazio (32)
  • CI5: Certain Ambiguities, article by Barbara T (48)
  • Baby, It's Cold Outside, article by Joan Renner (3 pages) (52)
  • Star Bangled Spanner, poem by Barbara T (55)
  • Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood, intro and the story thus far (56)
  • Two Kinds of Trouble by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #5) (58)
  • Especially at Night by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #6) (93)
  • No Money Down by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #7) (98)
  • Trial and Error by Viv Alexander (107)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

I want to also say how much I did enjoy BT#2, and how vastly improved I found it to be over BT#1, mainly because B&D were TOGETHER for nearly all the stories in #2, and there was an emphasis on THEIR relationship this time (even in the "Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood" stories), unlike issue #1. Ironically, I hadn't even planned to get #2 at all, since #1 disappointed me so much, but thanks to a friend picking up a copy for me, I changed my mind. It's a good zine, and the story "TRIAL AND ERROR" by Viv Alexander is the highlight, and the cover art alone is gorgeous.[11]

Issue 3

cover issue #3, Kate Nuernberg

British Takeaway 3 was published in 1988 and contains 183 pages.

The art is by Kate Nuernberg, Daphne Hamilton, Tammy Lomas, Gerry Stout, Ruth Kurz, Dani Lane, and Jean C.

From the table of contents: "This zine is dedicated to George of the Jungle, a Radio Shack color computer who gave his life so that BT#1, #2, and #3 could live."

From a note by Nuernberg in issue #4:

The artwork not in pen is either pencil or coloured pencil. It was not screened, just photocopied. This makes it darker, so it looks something like charcoal. The printing process can make illustration lines (and type faces) heavier or lighter, or just the same, depending on the amount of ink on the rollers of the press. It's a crapshoot. [snipped] Regarding the art for "In Good Conscience": I had a photo of young Gordon Jackson from one of the Pros annuals.

From the editorial:

A few words about other matters. Last issue, I upset people by using their Letters of Comment. I also upset people by not using their LoCs. I hope I have solved that problem this time. I think there is much good discussion here that is worth passing on. If you feel strongly about this , please let me know.

I do not usually single out certain authors or stories in my editorial, but I do need to make a few comments. If you have read the table of contents, you will note that Gerry Stout's Custody is a sequel to one of my own stories. I consulted with Gerry on some of Bodie's background that was not clear in Serpent's Tooth. Other than that, this story is entirely Gerry's own -- from inspiration to completion. I am gratified that she thought enough of the original to write this one.

  • Vinegar and Salt, editorial
  • Debts Paid in Fire, fiction by Helen B. (8)
  • Fire and Ice, poem by Marcia Brin (15)
  • Piano E Largetto, story and art by Gerry Stout (slash) (16)
  • The Beginning, poem by Elaine Leeke (18)
  • In Good Conscience, fiction by Marguerite Krause (het) (19)
  • Stakeout, poem by Elaine Leeke (26)
  • A Visit from Home, fiction by Helen B. (29)
  • Pensees Perdues, poem by Emily Ross (33)
  • Another Doorstep, fiction by Valerie De Vries (34)
  • Lost Among the Stones, poem by Barbara Staton (52)
  • Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood, an introduction, the story so far (52)
  • Diving in too Deep, fiction by Kate Nuernberg, art by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #8) (54)
  • Land of Confusion, fiction by Kate Nuernberg, art by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #10) (58)
  • Cat Lover, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (102)
  • In Anger, Comfort, fiction by L.S. Willard (103)
  • Patterns in Walls, fiction by Debra Hicks (crossover with the short-lived televisions series, "Sable," which in turn was based on the comic book series, "John Sable, Freelance.") (105)
  • Custody, fiction by Gerry Stout (sequel to "Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth" in issue #1) (slash) (115)
  • Temper, Temper, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (127)
  • Been So Long on Lonely Street, fiction by Emily Ross (another segment of this is in Cold Fish and Stale Chips #7) (128)
  • They Do Not Love Us, poem by Marcia Brin (133)
  • Dialogue At a Rescue, poem by Marcia Brin (134)
  • Credo, poem by Emily Ross (137)
  • Unquiet Mind, poem by Daphne Hamilton (138)
  • Heart of the Lion, fiction by Patricia D'Orazio (het) (139)
  • Cat Tail Musings, poem by Barbara Staton (181)
  • Fantasy Man, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (182)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

See reactions and reviews for Heart of the Lion.

See reactions and reviews for Diving in Too Deep.

See reactions and reviews for Patterns in Walls.

See reactions and reviews for Land of Confusion.

[zine]: Okay, I'm including this [on my list of top favorite 5 fanzines] because I love Patrica D'Orazio's 'Heart of the Lion.' I think it's one of the best gen stories I've ever read: satisfying on both an emotional and intellectual level. The zine's got a couple of clunkers, but that's more a matter of taste (as in "Thai food" versus "Mexican," not "Good" versus "Bad"). The stories themselves are all well-written, and the art enhances the effect.[12]



In "Debts Paid in Fire" by Helen B., the pickup of a returning British agent in neutral Switzerland leads to flashbacks for Doyle of an earlier lifetime in which he was burned for being a witch. A GEN story.

"Piano E Larghetto" by Gerry Stout is a first-time slash story set slightly in the future, when Bodie and Doyle have been partners for ten years.

"In Good Conscience" by Marguerite Krause is a HET story written in the pov of Annie Irvine of the episode Look After Annie. Annie reflects on her life, the choices she made, and the reasons she didn't marry Cowley.

Helen B's "A Visit from Home" focuses on Bodie, who, in the aftermath of Doyle's being severely injured, possibly mortally, searches for Doyle's mother, whom Bodie discovers is a tinker who can tell fortunes and the future. Doyle doesn't appear in the story much, being in hospital throughout. The story is GEN.

"Another Doorstep" by Valerie de Vries is a CI5-based GEN case story in which Bodie resigns, but Cowley treats him as if he were undercover. Features a very protective Doyle.

"Diving in Too Deep" is part of Kate Nuernberg's Mister Doyle's Neighbourhood series, which is overall GEN. Some readers, however, perceive a slashy feel in this particular story.

In Kate Nuernberg's "Land of Confusion", the tenth of her Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood series, Doyle goes undercover on a case to catch a major criminal despite his crippled leg, and Bodie isn't happy with the situation.

Patricia D'Orazio's "Heart of the Lion" is a HET story featuring Doyle/OFC (original female character) and Bodie/OFC.[13]


At a time when being let down by zines is becoming all too common, along comes BT#3 to cheer us all up again.

Starting with the interesting covers with the "Give blood" poetry, right through to the new computer problems Debbie talks about it's a good zine. I have way too much to do, and should not be taking time out for reading, but I did not put this one down until I finished it.

As always my favorite part is the Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood section. I do like that series of stories, realistically approaching the psychological as well as physical problems of an injured agent, and how it affects not only him, but all his friends as well.

"Hostages". An interesting idea. Bodie, Cowley...Twit. Yes, all of them hold Ray hostage. More on that in its turn.

"Debts Paid in Fire" - a nice "ghost story" to whet our appetites. Poignant drawings.

"Fire and Ice" - Searching no more.

"Larghetto E Piano" - A quiet drifting into love.

"The Beginning" - Always nice to think about - and one of my favorite illos.

"In Good Conscience" - An interesting view of the Annie Cowley loved. Like the illos of Georgie.

"Stakeout" - Loving poem, clever illo.

No comment on all the jokes. Most are groaners.

"A Visit From Home" - An interesting view of Doyle's mother, especially since most of fandom is into the Tarot. Her card designs are different and the bibliography appreciated.

"Fensees Perdues" - I especially like this poem as well as its illos. Both capture the characters as we know them. "Tomorrow I'll be gone."

"Another Doorstep" - A good story and an especially nice Bodie illo on p. 48.

"Lost Among the Stones" - Can't give up with a partner waiting.

"Diving In Too Deep" - I was glad to see Ray face that room again, and also glad that Bodie needed to come back, needed Doyle when things got rough at work.

"Land of Confusion" - This is the story where they all learn that Doyle's limitations are not to be feared. I love the fact that he thinks he failed, until Bodie convinced him otherwise. Teamwork! I like the Susan illo on p. 67 as well as all the rest. This is a good blend of CI5 and characterization.

"Cat-Lover" - Another fitting illo.

"In Anger Comfort" - A good explanation for post-Marikka actions.

"Patterns In Walls" - I'm not familiar with Sable, but you don't need to be to read this.

"Custody" - Not a very pretty picture for Bodie.

"Temper, Temper" - They deserve each other. Nice illo.

"Been So Long on Lonely Street" - A believable alternate universe nicely illoed by Jean.

"They Do Not Love Us" - Yes, wolves. The negative illos are appropriate.

"Dialogue At A Rescue" - Double act.

"Unquiet Mind" - Always agonizing.

"Heart of the Lion" - This long story held my interest. I like the interrelationships, and I like the characters. And again, it's well illoed, capturing the essence of the scenes.

"Cat Tail Musings" - Our favorite cat.

"Fantasy Man" - No news this.

As always BRITISH TAKEAWAY delivers—a good zine and on time, a delightful rarity!

Thank you, Kate and Debbie and friends. Much appreciated.[14]


I just received BT3 and I love it. Plenty of good reading for the price. I an getting a little turned off on some ST zines that are getting to be too fancy for too much money and have very few stories. Fancy artwork is all well and good but I for one prefer a good selection of stories.

My favorites tire Been too Long on Lonely Street, They Do Not Love Us, and Jane's poems. Is this the Jane of the Raven stories?

Custody is good too, particularly as it is told from Cowley's viewpoint. (Cowley vs. Richard Bodie is intriguing.) I particularly like to see stories told from other viewpoints than B and D. It makes a welcome change.

By the way the negative images work well with They Do Not Love Us. The artwork as a whole is well done and fits into place contrasting and complimenting the story or poems (particularly Jane's.)

I have finally acquired a tape of B and D episodes through the kind offices of someone. It is about 4th generation but at least I am finally able to view some episodes. I've only seen about four episodes at MediaWest Con although I've been buying zines and reading library stories for two or three years. Finally I am able to make a better judgment on characterizations and to discern what comes from the series and what is the author's own invention. For instance I knew who Claire was and the references to the Parsali affair make more sense (Heart of the Lion) to me. It gives a better perspective on the artwork, too. Your Doyle on pg. 99 is particularly good.

I enjoy the neighborhood stories because the basis is very realistic (an incapacitating injury is all too likely) and because the Good Neighbors series was shown on our PBS station. It is a strong gripping storyline and Susan is one of the finest female characters in fanfic. She is handling a very difficult situation and doing it well. No easy copouts. She and Evan show your talent for developing three dimensional people instead of two dimensional characters. Your people are real and I feel that I know them. Keeping Susan in balance must be difficult but you do it so well that it almost seems effortless.

Heart of the Lion is absorbing and certainly action/emotion filled. The idea of her being Cowley's partner and his reason for not partnering married men and Doyle's personal life were so interwoven that I don't know how to describe it. Every aspect of that story supports the whole equally. Caliban is an excellent character. I don't see Doyle as quite that desperate for a home life in Involvement but that is a matter of perspective.

Originally this was going to be a short note accompanying an order. It has turned out a little longer than expected. Two more points and then I'll quit. One, I think the zine is well arranged. The stories and poems are evenly distributed and balance the mood well. Too often the effects of good editing are overlooked in LOCs except in relation to the stories themselves. You two put a lot of thought and effort into the arrangement of this zine and it shows. Good editing is often rarer than good writing. Second, I did have a problem with the print going into the binding. I may put this book in a 3-ring binder to make it easier to read. Effective cover.[15]


...I absolutely loved [the zine] except for the white cover. In less than 24 hours it looked like we'd used it to play football. When we get some laminating film at school, I'm going to try going over it with an art gum eraser and laminating it, but I'm afraid it'll never be the same. Except for that, it was great.

As far as the artwork went, I like yours best, especially the ones facing pp. 14, 22, 33, 56, 67, 107 and the Bodie in the last one is my very favorite. Next to your drawings I liked Tammy's, but I thought she worked a bit too much on the faces. I like all the poems except Fantasy Man. They were all very well written, including that one, but I prefer poems about the characters rather than a person's reactions to the characters. I didn't have any special favorite among the poems.

Now the stories.

Debts Paid in Fire. I like this a lot. I enjoy fantasy and thought it was very clear.

Piano E Larghatto. I truly admire people who can tell a story in two or three pages. It is totally beyond my capabilities. I thought this was wonderfully tender and very touching. It really appealed to me.

In Good Conscience. An O.K. story. I didn't dislike it, but I doubt I'll ever re-read it. It didn't do anything for me, though generally I like her writing very much.

A Visit from Home. Very good, especially Bodie's reactions. I can see Doyle as a tinker.

Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood. I'm liking this more and more as it goes on. At first, I didn't particularly like the basic premise, but I liked the stories a lot, but the deeper into it you get, the better I like the whole thing. I very much liked the idea of Bodie coming over to be with Doyle after his operation was over instead of staying with Susan and the others, and I like Doyle going undercover and finding it too much for him and the end, with Bodie's last comment as just perfect. "I said you weren't ready, yet"

In Anger, Comfort. Nice. I liked the bit about the gun not being loaded.

Patterns in Walls. I liked the story but would have liked it more if I'd seen any shows from the other universe. Are there any tapes around, do you know, that I could get copies of?

Custody. I have mixed feelings about this. I wasn't sure I agreed with the ending of Serpent's Tooth (BT1)—I've tried it once and didn't like it, everything can just go on as it was before, and I like the thought of there being conflict that Ray, especially, had to deal with, but I'm not sure the way to solve it was to go to bed again one last time and then turn it off again—though I'm not really sure how I would resolve it. I have a feeling this is a story I have to read a couple times before really deciding if I like it or not.

Been Too Long on Lonely Street. An interesting alternate way for Bodie to join CI5.

Another Doorstep. I like this. It was a good action-adventure. I can see Bodie's reasoning in resigning and not telling Ray, but I'm not sure I agree with it. But I did enjoy the story.

Heart of the Lion - Extremely well-written, but I got to the end and just thought "Oh". I didn't really have positive or negative feelings about it, and I'm still not sure how I feel, though I think it's more positive than neutral, now. I wouldn't have wanted him separated from Bodie, but I'm not sure I liked him losing the girl, either; though I could see her point of view. I think this is another I'll have to read a couple times before making a final decision on.

Anyway, I enjoyed the zine very much and am already looking forward to #4. ... Please, though, no more white covers.[16]


I anticipated a good read in BT3. I certainly wasn't disappointed. Some stories in particular packed such an emotional wallop that I needed a break to read something in a lighter vein. Diving in Too Deep and Land of Confusion were up to your usual standards, i.e., high. I missed the Goods, but like more of B and D. Sorry that there was not more of your writing in BT3—never satisfied! I hope you plan to continue Doyle's neighborhood by the way.

The rest of the stories all had something to recommend them so I'll just pick out my favorites. Gerry Stout's Larghetto E Piano (Slowly and Softly?) and her excellent Custody. Like a number of other fans I did feel Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth ended a little too abruptly, although I loved the story and Custody was an excellent sequel. I liked Debra Hick's Patterns in Walls but as I'm not familiar with Sable. I was a little lost there. Marcia's Dialogue at a Rescue was a nice lighter piece. Marguerite Krause's In Good Conscience was also a change of pace and a good background filler. I especially like Emily Ross' alternate universe Been So Long on Lonely Street. However, most of the above were overshadowed by Patricia D'Orazio's magnificent Heart of the Lion—wow!—what else can I say.

I'm not a poetry buff so although I found it all very readable I don't feel I can comment. I did like most of the art very much. Your young and old Cowley and the very expressive portrait of Doyle between pages 98 and 99 being among my favorites. [Jean C] and Ruth Kurz are also good, as always, as was Tammy Lomas who is new to me.[17]


I think I'd better report this container of British Takeaway to the Health Department due to suspected Salmonella poisoning. There were three different people throwing up! Good stories, but I have to admit to having a "ye gods, not another one" reaction ... oh, well!

The Neighborhood stories took an interesting twist this time. Back to the action-adventure orientation of the series. The only way that Bodie (yes, computer, that is a word, so don't beep at me!) and Susan are going to straighten out the who would you save—who is your partner problem is when Bodie and Ray realize that they have to admit to themselves and each other that they are friends, without needing the excuse of partnership for their relationship. Come on guys, you might as well admit it.

I had a bit of a problem with Heart of the Lion. Mostly accepting the premise of not partnering married agents. If someone's family is in danger, how he or she reacts wouldn't depend on having a partner. They'd be just as prone to betraying a whole group. As for not reacting fast enough to save a partner, Doyle proved that wouldn't be a problem and besides, I should think it would depend on the partner's decision on whether he trusts the married individual any more. The rest of the story, however, was very interesting, especially Claire's reaction to seeing Doyle right after the action for the first time.

In Good Conscience was interesting. It was too easy to see Annie in a bad light. Marguerite does a nice job of making the reader see the other side. I liked your illos, also. Like the young George. Debts Paid in Fire Interesting idea. Visit from Home was unique with a totally different approach to Ray's background. Another little piece of Bodie's prejudices chipped away. I also liked Another Doorstep, although I question Cowley's decision to send Ray on this. (Gasp! Question Cowley? Heavens!) Anger and Patterns were both good exposures of Bodie's insides. Somehow Lonely Street struck me as something that could have gone into BT3 1/2. Just my taste, I guess. And then there's Marcia Brin. I've always liked her Star Wars stuff and her Dialogue is hysterical. Hits the two dead on!

Couple of questions: the art work not in pen ... is that charcoal? Didn't look like half-tones. I liked your Bodie in particular. To me, that's what he'll look like when he's about 45 or so, and goes to that party and sees that beautiful blonde widow across the room I did find the blanks on the reverse sides of the illustrations a bit disturbing when they landed on the right side.

... The 'zine looked good, and had a lot of good reading in it. It was a little darker in tone than the others, and it will be interesting to see what the reaction will be. I'll also be interested in the reaction to Custody. (Is it my imagination, or did the printing process make the illustration lines heavier?) [18]


Got my copy of BT3. The binding is unusual, but at least there are no brads to pull out. What made you choose white for the covers? My preference is for color. I really liked your layout and design. The continuing theme? Motif? (I don't know the word in artist's lingo) at the top of the regular sections (Table of Contents, LOCS, editorial) is nice.

The 'zine is definitely longer than the previous issues. I don't plan to comment on everything, by the way, just those things that stick in my mind. First, last, and middle, is Heart of the Lion. One of the best stories I've ever read, in any universe. Corazon/Jess is fascinating, and I'd love to read more about her. Could you, perhaps, coerce Patricia (hold a gun to her temple, chain her to her typer. Threaten to tickle her) into a sequel or, preferably, a prequel? Maybe a story from CI1, or about Jess and the younger Doyle. It was also very nice to see Dr. Ross presented in a professional, sympathetic manner.

Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood is, as expected, very good. It was nice to see Doyle back in action, and to see that he's not completely ready to go back on the streets. The reality of this series, with its not-so-nice truths, small triumphs, and large doses of hurry-up-and-wait, is wonderful, after the saccharine romanticism some stories I could name. Where are you planning to take Doyle? Did Cowley have an ulterior motive in wanting to talk to Doyle EVERY morning? Is he thinking: maybe, just maybe, I could groom this scruffy young hothead to take my place? At least he has the gimpy leg.

In Good Conscience didn't sit well, but only as regards to Marguerite's timeline. I always had the impression that George got his wound in the Spanish Civil War, and yet he appears newly wounded after WWII. Annie is very interesting, and I can see her growing up to become the firebrand Annie we see in the episode. However, I can't see her growing up to accept a black lover. She seems a bit (ha! too close-minded for that. I wonder what happened in the interim?

I'm not a / fan, but I did like Emily's Been too Long on Lonely Street, and the wonderful [Jean C] illos. I got absolutely NO impression that there would be any further sexual interaction between Bodie and Doyle, which is unusual for a / story, in my experience.

I thought the contrast between Sable and Bodie, in Patterns in Walls, interesting. Sable is critical of Bodie for using a loaded gun. But if Sable ever came up against the kinds of people Bodie faces, not only would he (Sable) be dead, he'd be mincemeat. They live in two different realities, and really have no right to criticize each other.

Poetry: Layout and artwork as a whole are superb. The illos used are so different -- but go with the mood of the poem so well. I especially like the reverse images used with They Do Not Love Us.

General comments last, it seems, rather than first. I'm disappointed in your LOCs policy. I think if people don't have the courage of their convictions then they shouldn't write letters for publication, i.e., either say you don't want it printed, or leave your name on it. An alternate is initials, if you feel you must protect your commentators. I suppose this will show up minus any I.D., but you can't really put in one letter with a name attached.

Strange as I may seem, I have read and enjoyed the editorials and co-editorials in all three issues. I am interested in the things that the editors like to tell us about their 'zines, and how they got them to us. Does George the Second still work for CI5? And what will you teach your elves for the next issue? How to do a 'zine for themselves? Congratulations on your Fan Q award. I plan to nominate BT3 for next year—unless BT4 comes out soon enough that I have to choose between the two [19]


Nothing like being two months behind on my correspondence. Sorry.

Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed British Takeaway 3. Your lines are wonderful! (I'm glad BT 2 won at the cons—it deserved to.) I can't think of anything about BT 3 that isn't praiseworthy. It's a beautiful line, very professional (no pun!) and all the stories are excellent—well-written with the characters and their relationships treated beautifully. I enjoyed the variety of stories as well—occult, alternate universe, action and relationship—everything an addict could desire between two covers. The poetry and artwork were an additional treat. All your contributors are very talented people!

And special compliments to you for Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood and your beautiful artwork throughout the zine. Your drawings capture people's expressions

so well. I particularly liked the one of Bodie on page 56-7. It's perfect; that's exactly the way Bodie will look as he matures. As for Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood, it's possibly the best collection of Pros stories in the fandom. You handle the complexities of life, the characters and the intricacies of their various relationships with such insight -- I literally find myself holding my breath from the intensity of the emotions the stories evoke. Many, many thanks.[20]


I don't usually write LOCs, mainly because, if I like or dislike something all I know is I like it or not, and can't ever quite put my finger on what's good or bad with it. But I wanted you to know how much I loved BT 3. so here I am. You did good, Kate. This is perhaps the best of the three, in all respects, at least from my point of view. I don't think there was one story that I did not enjoy in the xine, and for me that has got to be some kind of a record!

You know, I think I talked to you a bit last year about Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood. I know I've always had problems with it, but it seems as if every time I read it, I like it a bit more, even though it is basically not my kind of story. You write so well, though, that for the most part I was able to see past all that and learn to enjoy the story. But with Diving in Too Deep and Land of Confusion you surpassed even my requirements. I loved them both! The main reason, I think, was because in Land, at least, Doyle got on with things, he just didn't sit around and moan and bewail his fate as he seemed to do in the two previous BT's. He wanted something and he got out and fought to get it, and get it, he did. I heard a wonderful comment by a friend which I'm going to tell you, hoping you don't take it the wrong way. The comment was this: Doyle was upset and worried because he felt he couldn't be as good as he was before, but in Land of Confusion he goes undercover, gets caught, gets beat up and has to be rescued by Bodie, which for him is the normal state of affairs. So what's he worrying about?

I also liked Heart of the Lion, with reservations. I think the most glaring problem I had with that was the fact that it ended too abruptly. I felt there was stuff to be worked through with both Bodie and Doyle, not the least of which was Doyle having to come to grips with Claire leaving him. I mean, if that were me, at the very least I'd be furious that someone had the balls to make that kind of a decision for me. And I think they both had to come to grips with the problems they had during the whole affair; both Bodie and Doyle seemed to have some pretty large insecurities about each other. Has or is Pat writing a sequel? That's the way it felt to me, that there was a sequel someplace in the offing. Yes or no? P.S. I forgot to add how much I loved all your art - - like your writing, your artwork gets better and better.[21]


Time for a proper LoC on British Takeaway #3.

For starters, the artwork was uniformly excellent; stylistically I have a preference for [Jean C] and editor Kate, but all of the art complimented the words it accompanied. One question: why wasn't all of the art for the various poems credited in the table of contents? I didn't always see signatures, and it would be nice to know who did what throughout the line. My absolute favorite pieces, when it came to capturing the mood of the moment in a given story, were those following pages 22 and 98 -- perfect!

Next, poetry. Again, so much good stuff to choose from! Temper, Temper and Unquiet Mind caught some very important points quite effectively; at least that was my gut reaction. The best giggle was Jane's Fantasy Man. I bet it struck home with an awful lot of us!

Now for some of the bigger stuff.

Patterns in Walls was a nice adventure, but whether because it involved a character (Sable) with whom I was unfamiliar, or because it was set outside Britain, it didn't have the sense of atmosphere that can make or break a Pros story. Instead it became simply a Bodie story. Which is fine, if that was what the author was aiming for.

Another Doorstep, in contrast, had GREAT atmosphere! Throughout I got the sense of this being how a show would have gone, if it had been an aired episode. Occasionally some of the characters' emotions seemed to get a bit too heavy too quickly, but that's maybe a matter of personal interpretation of how each of these men would react to a given situation.

Debts Paid in Fire bothered me on a couple of counts. First, we've been given CI5 as a distinctly domestic operation; the thought of Cowley being allowed, not to mention encouraged, to send two of his agents onto the Continent rings false. The elements of reincarnation and psychic knowledge work well enough, although even here there was a certain falseness, this time in Ray's excessive loss of self-control, and approach toward blind panic. I would have thought him enough of a professional to either keep his fears in check, or announce himself unfit for the mission. Going on when he was so panicked would endanger the assignment, and more importantly, his partner. Finally, the mission itself was handled far too sloppily. They had reason to expect treachery, yet Cowley sent just the two men, and then first Doyle and then Bodie let themselves get caught by the bad guys! And THEN Mulner messes up, quite conveniently, in not killing Bodie outright -- not that the use of a nutter isn't valid, but in this particular story it's just one too many lucky breaks for Bodie and Doyle. Too many coincidences that all combine to allow them to survive. Maybe that's the supernatural at work again; Bodie and Doyle were "meant" to survive, because the village owed Doyle a life. But the end result for me was that the entire story seemed too contrived.

Custody was enjoyable. The effect of the switching points of view was interesting; good in sight into each man's motivations. I certainly grew to hate Richard Bodie, as the author intended! Even if the story as a whole had not been a good read, it would have been worth it for the final scene, in which Bodie's "adoption" by a new father is made crystal clear. "Hey, dad, may I have the car?" indeed!

Diving in Too Deep and Land of Confusion were wonderful, in the tradition of the Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood series. Hard to pinpoint the good bits, there were so many; what sticks with me is the sense of REALITY, the feeling that, yes, this is how these people would actually behave. Doyle's desperate need to be an agent, in effect a whole person, again; Bodie's fears for his friend's safety; the tightrope act Cowley is doing, trying to use Doyle to best advantage for CI5 as well as do what's best for the lad himself; very, very good stuff. Perhaps it's the sense of accurate psychology that makes it so satis fying. There are no easy answers to any of the prob lems, no straightforward speeches in which one char acter reassures another and makes everything all right. Real life ain't like that, and neither is this series! Another attraction is the always subtle, underlying hints that much of what Doyle is going through is an echo, a reprise of things that happened to Cowley thirty years before. This leaves me, at least, intensely curious as to just how Cowley DID cope with his disability, especially when he gives one of his concise statements about what sorts of things Doyle can do; for instance, that he can be too careless, too cautious, or find the appropriate mid dle ground and do the job right. Just what sort of experience is Cowley speaking from? That he IS speaking from experience is perfectly clear. The reality enters into it when we realize that Cowley's not apt to give away any details! In most situations that's not part of his personality, or his relationship with his subordinates; but it sure makes for fascinating speculation! So, the stories stick in my mind, which is one of the highest compliments a reader can make.

All that being said. Heart of the Lion was my absolute favorite in this issue. Again, it's difficult to focus on details when the whole fabric is so good, so rich, so fascinating. I enjoyed the multiple layers, the constant comparisons: between Maxwell and Cowley as controllers; between Doyle and Cowley as agents, feeling the need to protect their partners from their bosses; between Sam's marriage and what it did to him, and Doyle's plans with Claire and what that grows to mean for Bodie. Everything is very intense, and again that sense of reality, that this is precisely how these people should behave given their characteristics and the circumstances of the story. All of the stuff about partnership and what that means to people is powerful and right. I think it's my favorite because, even more so than Kate's series, it leaves me wanting more! Patricia does realize, I hope, that she didn't end the thing? She's left-Doyle still determined to beat the odds, beat Cowley, convince Bodie, find that perfect woman who he's sure is out there somewhere, and have it all. More important, she's left us Corazon. A partner for the Controller of CI5!! The implications are staggering. The way this story is written, there seems no possibility of Corey just fading into the woodwork, out of her George's life; he wouldn't allow it, even if she would. They've both been waiting too long for her to finish Vagrin, end the thing she's set out to do. So what happens now? I really want to know.

Please keep up the good work, you and all of your authors and artists and poets. I greatly look forward to another issue as soon as you can get one together! Thanks! [22]


Most of the stories in BT3 emphasize the partnership theme, as well as covering sundry points of how CI5 can or should operate. The majority of the stories are remarkably well-written, too. Some stand outs are In Good Conscience, which is very intelligent writing, not only in showing the characters' brains but in making their basis for argument clear to the reader. How Cowley came to set up CI5 and run it is one question, occasionally addressed, but why is more rarely asked.

Another Doorstep shows different flavors of idealism and activism well, opposing them with terrorism. The Tanmy Lomas illos are nice here, and indeed all the art in the tine is quite good. The graphics and layout of the poetry pages are especially striking (including the cover); you accomplish a great deal without halftones or color. This may be a classic example of the zine that doesn't need to resort to fancier art styles, having raised black- and-white to a sophisticated level entirely on its own merits.

The continuation of Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood is fully up to the previous quality, and I'm glad to see the development of Susan, as Bodie's working partner in parallel with Doyle's recovery, step by step. The "feel" of solid CI5 background is still there, and is only less surprising in this third zine because several other contributors have learned to do the same thing—to everyone's credit. Even Custody, which is, to me, disappointing as a sequel to Serpent's Tooth, doesn't omit the structure of detective plot, CI5 having to function within a complex of governmental agencies and offices, the theme of partners having to work together for their lives, whatever they do off-duty. I don't entirely agree with the characterizations in Custody, which are less three-dimensional than several of the zine's stories manage. The derivations from Serpent's Tooth are visible, however.

I enjoyed the Sable crossover, which even with the need to include a second universe's characters managed to focus on the realities and ambiguities of outside-the-law enforcement. Sable's attitude toward guns, contrasted with the CI5 team's, makes one more point that is well-thought-of on the topic. Dialogue at a Rescue was also most enjoyable, very neat humor based on the personalities—the best kind.

Heart of the Lion is another don't-miss story. You were right -- I should have read this before the Huggies. D'Orazio has caught the theme of partnership and undercover work acutely, and squared it. Corazon is one of the scariest characters I've met in a long time, in pushing human endurance so far, in being able to go further into both physical and mental exhaustion than most of us ever understand.

Helen B.'s two stories mix the characters with magic, or rather, metaphysical as well as worldly balance factors. And doesn't lose Bodie and Doyle as personalities while she's doing it. Altogether, it's a really extraordinary collection of stories, well packaged in just about any sense you care to name.[23]


I found Debts Paid in Fire an interesting change from the usual run of stories, if just a little spooky. I'm not convinced either Doyle or Bodie would be as psychic as the story suggests, but given the premise, the story works well and I quite enjoyed reading it. Larghetto E Piano - well, you know me. I've got a weakness for stories like this - beginning of relationship stories - and this one is nice, if a little too short for my liking. I suppose it's more of a vignette han a story. But I want to know what happens next, so ask Gerry to write about where they go from there. Marguerite Krause's story In Good Conscience provided a fascinating glimpse of a possible young George Cowley through Annie's eyes. I'll have to go back and watch "Look After Annie" again, now that I've read it, and see if I agree with her. And your portraits of Cowley and the young Cowley opp. page 22 are terrific. How do you, as an artist, man age to take a picture of Cowley as we know him and then make it regress so that it is as he must have looked? (Or were you able to find a picture of a much younger Gordon Jackson to use as a guide?) As I've said to you, I'm usually not much attracted to the artwork in zines, but this one is really good.

A Visit from Home is interesting as a possible background for Doyle, but it's not the one I've al ways thought of him having, so maybe I'm not so at tracted to this story because of that. It is, however, interesting because of its use of/reference to the Tarot. Another Doorstep is great to read, partly because of its use of Bodie's known background to justify his present actions, and partly because it shows Doyle working with Murphy, so we see a bit more of him for a change. It's a good characterization of Doyle too - worried, frustrated by his inability to find/contact/explain Bodie's actions - and then getting himself into the thick of it to try and rescue Bodie from what appears to be his own foolishness in resigning, even though he doesn't know why he did it. Yes, I really liked this one, and re-read it more than once. Tammy's style of illustration is appealing, and I especially like her Doyle opp. page A2.

And so to Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood, I'm glad you are continuing to write in this alternate universe - it's part of my reason for continuing to get B1 (though not the only one). The first story. Diving In Too Deep shows well how in spite of Doyle officially being no longer Bodie's partner, Bodie still relies on him for emotional support, rather than his new partner, Susan. ...Your Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood stories seem to me to show the gradual development of an emotional relationship which might or might not spill over into something more physical. Ideally, I'd like to see Bodie move in with Doyle into Surbiton, even if not necessarily his partner again, but I'm a sucker for a romantic relationship. Forgive me, please, if I've read more into your series than you' ve intended - it's just the way they come across to me. And your illo of Bodie opp. page 56 (drool, drool!)... The second story in the series this time round seems very different, but a logical progression from where the series is going. I like the idea of Doyle being allowed to try himself out as an undercover agent again (very reluctantly on Cowley's part) and not quite being able to cope. Obviously, he's not as physically well as he needs to be, and needs to learn that without that physical edge, he may not get back into the streets the way he used to be. Bodie's concern for Doyle is very evident, and adds a lot to the action of the story. And I really do enjoy the little glimpses we continue to get of Doyle's Neighbours from "The Good Life".' Please, keep writing the series - though I don't know how you find the time!

In Anger Comfort is a nice little postlude to "Fall Girl" - a vignette again showing the emotional dependence of one on the other which might or might not be extended one day. The Sable/Professionals crossover is a good story - I suppose my enjoyment of it is hampered by the fact that I've only ever watched about two or three episodes of Sable, and didn't enjoy them enough to persevere with them. But as a story, it reads well and has some excellent action scenes in it, especially p. 109-111. I like your Bodie/Sable illo opp. page 106 too, especially the Bodie - he's so lifelike.

Been So Long on Lonely Street is really inter esting as a beginning story - "How Bodie came to join CI5" - though I've always gone by the one written by Brian Clemens himself, which has Doyle's first as signment being to collect Bodie so that the two of them can break a siege situation. But it's a realis tic possible beginning, and I enjoyed reading it.

And so to the two stories I liked best of all. I was really glad to find that Custody was a sequel to Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth because I had really enjoyed that when I first read it. The picture it presents - both stories present - of Bodie's family are chilling, and a very plausible reason he would want nothing to do with his family if he could possibly avoid it. Cowley is nicely protective of Bodie when his father appears on the scene - Bodie's father is drawn almost as the villain in a Victorian melo drama - nice touch, that. Interesting that Doyle and Bodie have to try to work out the sexual side of things together and are then able to exorcise that aspect of their relationship - that works well in this story.

And of course, the other favorite story this time round is Heart of the Lion. The back history of the founding of CI5 and its companion departments is excellent, and the mere idea that there is still an agent on the street undercover from ten years ago, bent on revenge, is a fascinating twist. The story is really well-written, nicely balanced with characters who existed in the series and ones who didn't. And the interaction of characters, Bodie with Corazon and Doyle with Claire and, of course, Bodie with Doyle and both of them with George Cowley makes really good reading. Good action, too.[24]

Issue 4

front cover of issue #4, winner of a Huggy Award, artist is Kate Nuernberg
back cover of issue #4, Kate Nuernberg

British Takeaway 4 is undated (published in 1989) and contains 228 pages.

The EXTENSIVE art is by Maureen B, Karen Eaton, Daphne Hamilton, Ruth Kurz, TSL, Dani Lane, Adrian Morgan, Kate Nuernberg, Sheila Paulson, and Alisa Schnaars.

It was the winner of a 1990 Fan Q Award and a 1989 Huggy Award for best Pros zine. Art on page 103 by Kate Nuernberg won a Huggy Award.

There are many lengthy letters of comment in this issue that address the previous issue. All of them are printed without names or any other identifying information, something unique. This appears to be result of an editorial decision stated in issue #3.

From the editorial:

[from Kate]:

First, congratulations to Patricia D'Orazio and Emily Ross for their Huggy Awards. It is contributions like theirs, and those from all my talented writers and artists, that help make British Takeaway the zine that it is. I thank them all for their hard work and especially their creativity. BT#3 won a Huggy for best Pros zine at ZebraCon in 1988, and a Fan Q for best miscellaneous zine at MediaWest in 1989. Thanks also to our readers who continue to vote for us and write to us. We wouldn't be here without you, either.


This issue of British Takeaway could aptly be subtitled "In search of the Perfect Zine." With a new computer and word processing program (we were just learning the basics for #3) we were able to do a much denser page. With more material per page, this means fewer pages and (hopefully) a cheaper zine.) We have also tried to leave more white space in the bindings.

Unfortunately, that led to a new game called "Magical Mystical Margins". I apologise for the look of the thing this time. Life's like that. (You get very philosophical the week before the zine goes out. Now where's my copy of The Tao of Pooh?) Let us know if any of your pages are too terrible to live with. Not to single out anyone's story, I have to mention that Patricia D'Orazio has every intention of writing a sequel to "Heart of the Lion". But "Damaged Goods" is not it. Instead, it is a prequel in that same universe. I'm sure you will enjoy this one, too.

My own "All Poetry is Difficult to Read" in the Neighborhood Universe comes out of sequence. There are about a thousand stories in this naked city as to the reasons for that. but I won't go into them here. For reasons that may be obscure to the reader and only important to the author, this particular story is located between "Diving in Too Deep" and "Land of Confusion".

There is no lyric on the cover of BT#4. This is not because we didn't try to think of one. My sister and fellow-fan (and joke perpetrator) came up with the best answer: "Take This Job And Shove It".

Someone asked when to send SASEs for #5 if I didn't want them now. I just didn't want to deal with them and orders for #4 at the same time. You can send them now, or any time until next August. I Id love to have a stamp from you all.

I would like to take this time for a special thanks to my co-editor, roommate, and friend, Debbie Goldstein, for her patience and work with me to teach me the new computer. Whatever she was doing, whenever she heard a small voice from the workroom crying "Debbieee...", she would come running. How wonderful. Thank you.

So why are you still reading this nonsense when there's a whole zine to enjoy?

From the editorial:

[from Debbie]:

[much about WordPerfect 5.0 snipped]

More compliments go to our work gang. Two of them have voluntarily learned a lot about WordPerfect, so we will be able to have typing, spell-checking, and printing help in the future. Assuming they want to come over here and confront George in his own office. And our third "slave" would also be learning except that she never knows what she's doing (and when!) at the office. It's a little difficult to schedule fandom when you can be called in at any time.

Don't forget to look into Cold Fish and Stale Chips, if you just have to have more Pros. This companion zine is for unfinished this, thats, and the others, and has a lively letter column discussing the unfinished items. Issues 1 and 2 are available, and 3 is planned for November. SASE Kate for more information.

  • Editorials (unnumbered pages)
  • Letters of Comment (1)
  • cartoon by Karen Eaton (7)
  • To Forgive the Soldiers by Debra Hicks, art by Dani Lane (9)
  • Ash Wednesday, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (18)
  • Sanctuary by Thomas, art by Daphne Hamilton (slash) (20)
  • Masquerade, poem by Elaine Leeke (24)
  • Start with a Mirror by Helen B., art by Maureen B. (25)
  • Considered in a Hospital, poem and art by Daphne Hamilton (44)
  • After the Fall by Marcia Brin, art by Alisa Schnaars (47)
  • Lord Acton Redux, poem by Marcia Brin (52)
  • When I'm Sixty-Four by Ruth Collerson, art by Adrian Morgan (55)
  • a page of Pros riddles, plus answers (70)
  • Recollection, poem by Elaine Leeks (72)
  • Damaged Goods by Patricia D'Orazio (winner of a Huggy Award) (75)
  • Playing with Fire, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (96)
  • All Poetry is Difficult to Read by Kate Nuernberg, art by Kate Nuernberg & Ruth Kurz (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #9) (98)
  • Something Unspoken, poem by Rachel Duncan (113)
  • Quicksand, poem by Rachel Duncan (114)
  • Ghosts Appear and Fade Away... by Kate Nuernberg, art by Adrian Morgan (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #12) (115)
  • The Professionals First Form Reader, vignette by Paula Smith, art by Karen Eaton (122)
  • Fallen Angel by Elaine Holden, art by TSL (125)
  • Ivory Towers, poem by Marcia Brin (winner of a Huggy Award) (134) (134)
  • Dog in the Night by Marguerite Krause, art by Ruth Kurz & Sheila Paulson (winner of a Huggy Award) (138)
  • Wild Fancy, poem by Emily Ross (228)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

Enjoyed meeting you (briefly) at ZCon, as well as being mistaken for you several times. Congratulations for all the Huggys—well deserved! Don't remember whether I told you or not, but I thought British Takeaway 4 was excellent throughout and entirely enjoyable. My personal favorite story was Start with a Mirror by Helen B., but Debra's To Forgive the Soldiers (she's developed very fast into a really good writer), Tricia's Damaged Goods, and Marguerite's Dog in the Night were also particularly excellent and memorable. And Paula's Professionals First Form Reader was very very funny. I enjoyed most of the poetry also, and usually I find about 98% of poetry totally forgettable. If BT continues to be this high in quality, I won't even notice or care that it is mostly not even slash.[25]

I very much enjoyed British Takeaway 4. For one thing the art was spectacular. The standouts in a great issue were [Maureen B], Daphne Hamilton, Ruth Kurz, Adrian Morgan, you. Sheila Paulson & of course Karen Eaton's hilarious cartoons. My absolute favorite pieces were Karen's bedtime thoughts on page 7, your Bodie p 17, Adrian Morgan's Bodie p 58 (saw the original at Calicon 8 was outbid on it -- double and triple damn!), and your sleeping Doyle with Twit in his hair. Lots of honorable mentions including several wonderful Cowleys (p 188& 49 esp).

I won't comment on the poetry as it's not some thing I know much about except to say I didn't dislike any of it -- which, in case you didn't know, is high praise from me. I'm afraid my taste runs to stories & art more than to poetry.

The stories were uniformly good, not a true clinker among them. That's highly unusual. My taste tends to be picky & even the best of zines usually has at least one story I truly dislike.

My favorite story was When I'm Sixty-four by Ruth Collerson—but I'm a sucker for romance. I also enjoyed Sanctuary by Katharine Scarritt; All Poetry is Difficult to Read, and Dog in the Night by Marguerite Krause. I'd like to see more about Krause's new Alpha Squad. I'd also like to see more in Patricia D'Orazio's universe about Corazon, Cowley, and Bodie. Wouldn't mind stories about what Doyle was doing back in England during the same period of time. I still wonder where you're taking the Bodie-Susan-Doyle triangle in Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood. I get the impression that there are changes around the corner but I don't know precisely what.

I'm looking forward to BT5.[26]

I was able to read through a copy of BTf4—my Congrats to all involved. Quite a good effort over all. For me the strongest story was Start with a Mirror by Helen B. Unfortunately it didn't encompass quite as much story as I would have liked and left us hanging just when I really wanted to know what was going to happen. Otherwise very nicely thought-out and executed.

When I'm Sixty-four was good, but rather flawed, as much as for characterization as anything else. The problem with slash stories is that one must convince the reader that these two people—whom we know so intimately (or think we do)—could evolve into this kind of relationship. That's a large stumbling block to begin with. It can be gotten around very quickly by simply stating that one or both of the lads is that way inclined and or various, obvious reasons have kept the truth well guarded. This one, however, tended to unlikely conversations and rather stilted situations. Nevertheless, being a sucker for a love story, I'm easy, and went along fairly willingly.

The Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood stories were, as usual, unusually compelling. The first I found much more enjoyable, simply because I prefer to read about B&D. You're teasing, Kate, and I'm wondering when we're going to have a more serious sexual tension develop between the lads. It's been seen before in earlier Neighborhood stories, but am I wrong, or does it seem to be ever-so-slightly escalating? Hope so.

After the Fall was true to both Bodie and Cowley, and their never elaborated but very apparent understanding of one another. Would love to have seen what happened afterward, when Bodie made his peace with Doyle.

G.A. Bodie? Since Doyle is more frequently accorded this role, this was an appealing turnaround for Bodie to play guardian angel in Fallen Angel, and nicely done, too.

Using WordStar, I'm envious that Word Perfect should have a UK usage checker. Aren't computers too bloody wonderful for words? [27]

What it is to order a zine and know that you will enjoy it, because it will be a quality product, before you receive it! Ouch—terrible sentence but you know what I mean: BT4 was excellent. The covers were a nice change of pace although I usually don't like to see the actors, as opposed to the characters, associated with a zine. Karen Eaton's cartoon was a delight, as always and there was a good variety of quality art. There was also a nice variety of poetry on which I never feel competent to comment. I'll try to be a little more loquacious regarding the stories.

To Forgive the Soldiers—Debra Hicks -- I really liked the way Debra brought forward some of Bodie's mysterious past, and how she man aged to interweave B8D's determination to aid and protect each other—beautifully in character.

Sanctuary--Katharine Scarritt -- For such a short piece it still seemed to have all the elements required for a satisfying love story.

Start with a Mirror--Helen B. -- When I started to read this I thought 'Oh no I don't want to read about anti-gay Bodie -- I don't like those stories' (guess who's a / fan) but it turned out to be beautifully written. There was a reason behind the prejudice and it wasn't carried too far so it became a very believable story.

After the Fall--Marcia Brin -- A very good post Marikka story and 'what was said when Cowley followed Bodie'. I like the blank scenes filled in especially when it is well done.

When I'm Sixty-four--Ruth Collerson -- I'm afraid this just didn't work for me. There was a lot of soul-searching but somehow the emotions didn't come across and I can't pinpoint why. I'm sure there will be many who will disagree as it was well written but it just didn't touch me.

Damaged Goods—Patricia D'Orazio -- This prequel was as good as the main event. It was an excellent portrait of a very young Bodie and a believable explanation of his intense loyalty to Cowley later on.

Doyle's Neighborhood--Kate N. -- I'm really hooked, on this unlikely series. Our PBS station (Seattle's that is) has just re-run 'the Goods' and I have finally captured the episodes on tape so they were fresh in my mind when I read these 2 stories.

All Poetry -- Barbara is the most appealing character so it makes lots of sense that there would be competition to do something special for her birthday.

Ghosts Appear -- A nice 'filler' type of story with a good psychological angle.

Fallen Angel--Elaine Holden -- Why is it that some writers can use these delightfully whimsical ideas and make-them work while most just fall flat. Needless to say Elaine is one who can make them work and I loved it.

Dog in the Night--Marguerite Krause -- What a super mystery story—peeling off layer by layer it seemed you would never reach the heart and kept you reading on. Not to mention the two seeming red herrings at the start that had you wondering just where they fitted in. I liked the introduction of the two newer agents—B&D can't be everywhere at once and the Murphy/Tanner romance was also a nice touch to complete the story.

Well now I'm off to re-read BT3!

Congratulations to everyone involved with BT4— it's a first class zine.[28]

First and foremost, it's a great read, and the artwork just gets better and better. You and Debbie and George (as in Cow ley, but god rest poor George of the Jungle's soul) have done a marvelous job, together with your willing(?) slaves. Congratulations to all involved. Now to some detailed comments—print some or all or none, as it pleases you.

Cartoon, p. 7— Always loved K.S. Eaton's cartoons but this is particularly good—words, expressions (esp. Ray in the last frame), the lot.

To Forgive the Soldiers— A not too gentle sidelight on Bodie's time in Africa—makes you see perhaps why he's always been so unforthcoming about it. And you wonder, can he learn to forgive him self as well as them? Interesting to see Doyle finding the possible way to release Bodie, both literally and figuratively. Good, tight writing, as always from this author.

Sanctuary—For some reason, this doesn't really get to me. Is it too short? Is there not enough background? Is there love or only lust? I just don't know.

Start with a Mirror—This I did like—well-plotted, plausible, looks inside the characters as well as at their surface actions. The two-facedness of Christopher Powell is particularly well-drawn. Love the illo of a saddened, pensive Doyle on p. 29. It hurts to see Doyle coming to terms with his illusions about his ex-lover, let alone his shock about Bodie's past. And for Bodie, finding a way to hold onto his friendship and maybe more with Ray—can he do it? Does he really want to? His first choice is to opt out. Please, Helen, -- where do Bodie and Doyle go from here? I can hardly imagine it would turn into love's young dream—more like a Force 10 gale. The final twist, that the case really concerned a double agent and the security of the na tion, is beautifully thought out.

After the Fall—Nice to see Cowley interacting just with Bodie for a change—both characters seem very true to the aired series.

When I'm Sixty-four— I like Adrian's line drawing of Bodie and Doyle thirty plus years on, though I'm not sure Bodie would really go bald. And I like the Bodie further on in the story—the completed one from CF&SC#2, though I still think he should be a Puritan.

Damaged Goods— A good story, if you can accept the premise that Cowley was A) in Africa earlier as Major MacGregor and B) met Bodie there. I can't quite imagine even a young Bodie as helpless as a kitten. Cowley's thoughts of Bodie as a wolf-cub he intends to tame are more likely. Nevertheless, well written, good action and some very interesting minor characters, especially Mile Nick Fanchon. But as a story in the Heart of the Lion universe, I'm prepared to suspend disbelief and enjoy it for what it is—a well-written A/U story. One thing bothers me, though; if Bodie had seen photos of Corazon then, how come he didn't recognize her at some stage in Heart of the Lion? Or had she changed so much? (Read the description of that photograph and then go back and read the description in Heart, and figure how many years there wer in between, plus the unlikelihood that Bodie would even think of making a connection. Kate)

All Poetry is Difficult to Read— I love the Neighbourhood stories. They just get better and better. I thoroughly enjoyed the series "The Good Life" (UK title we saw it under here), and besides, Penelope Keith has always been one of my favorite actresses. The characterisations of these four—Tom and Barbara Good and Margot and Jerry Ledbetter—continue to grow more rounded and the interaction between them and the CI5 people is a delight to read. Love the idea of Ray taking Margot on for the right to throw Barbara's birthday party and involving the whole neighbourhood. And I love the illo of Twit nesting in Doyle's hair, too. Plus I,laughed my self silly over the party scenes in the pub. Terrific!

Ghosts Appear and Fade Away— Bodie and Susan, from Susan's point of view this time. She's becoming a really well-rounded out character (no pun intended) too, now. Nice additional insight,into what makes Bodie tick. I especially like the contrast between the way Bodie and Doyle used to wind down and then the way Bodie and Susan go about lit. Bodie cares for Susan as a partner now, accepts her as once he didn't, and they've got a better chance of staying alive because of it.

The Professionals First Form Reader—Love it, love the humour. What's the original, please, and where do I find it? I like the illos too, especially the hatstand.

Fallen Angel—A lovely gentle tongue-firmly-in-cheek fantasy—Bodie as a guardian angel?! And better yet, Bodie as Doyle's teddy bear???!!! Thanks for this one.

Dog in the Night—Virtually a psycho-drama—plausible, very readable, kept me on the edge of suspense all the time. Couldn't put it down. Very well plotted, realistic style of writing and a satisfactory conclusion. Besides, I like long stories. And I love Kate's Cowley, Bodie and Doyle illos (pp. 189, 211, 225).[29]

I took the opportunity over the holidays for a more leisurely read-through of all the 'zines I've ordered from you (having tried to read all of them at once when I first got them) and it only reaffirmed my original delight with the quality you and your writers, artists, etc., strive to achieve.

I will be the first to admit that in most of the other fandoms I've been into I was less than impressed with the poetry that I read but I have been so moved by the poems in the BT series! Case in point was Marcia Erin's Ivory Towers. By the time I finished that one I had goosebumps on top of goose-bumps and immediately grabbed for my copy of Involvement to watch it all over again!

I find I also read the slash stories with a bit more relish than I used to. Maybe I had just gotten tired of all the let's write sex for the sake of sex stories I'd been bombarded with lately. The fact that the stories in your 'zines have plots and actually deal with characters and the changes they go through -- including the moral implications -- was a breath of fresh air! fl great example, I thought, was When I'm Sixty-four which really had me in stitches at some points because the stages that Bodie and Ray went through with the "should I tell him how I feel? What if he rejects me" phase and then Doyle's process of acceptance reminded me a lot of what I'm going through now with a guy I've known for a long time and we're just starting to notice that things have gone much deeper than friendship. I easily saw myself in Bodie's shoes and him in Doyle's! I only hope my situation works out so wel1!

Damaged Goods was an excellent first meeting of Bodie and Cowley. Having noticed how loyal Bodie seems to be to his boss and how he seems to get away with just that little bit extra insubordi nation at times makes Damaged Goods a very believable premise!

I had to scrape myself off the floor after cracking up so badly over The Professionals First Form Reader. "Mad-dog killer bloodbeast"! Oh yeah!

I couldn't put Dog In The Night down! Well- paced, suspenseful and full of action all the way through! And Murphy finally got a girl! Anyone that good looking should really give Bodie and Doyle a run for their money in the women department.

The Mr Doyle's Neighborhood series has got me well and truly hooked! I always liked "Good Neighbors" to start with and the thought of Margot put ting up with Bodie's brashness tickled me right from the start. But then what did you do? You added one Evan Dowling in the oh, so sexy, form of Rod Stewart! Needless to say I have devoured every chapter more than once. I did have a question over the "fling" that Ray had with Susan. Is anything going to come of this? I can't believe that some thing like that would just drop into the background when it seemed like they both got something emotionally helpful out of it when they needed it most. I can't see Bodie getting involved since she is his partner now but I think she and Ray could do well for each other! And more action for Ray, please!

Elaine Holden's Fallen Angel was one of the most emotion packed pieces I have read in a long time. I had no trouble at all envisioning the different "pairings" of Doyle and his guardian angels through his growing up. I was in tears when Cowley turned back into the hospital room and instead of his two hardened agents he saw the young Doyle with his angel bear. Thank you, Elaine! Beautifully done!

I could probably go on forever about each and every story I've read but would run out of superlatives and compliments long before I ran out of stories, poetry and artwork. (Speaking of which, Kate, I showed your picture of Twit in Ray's hair from the All Poetry is Difficult To Read chapter of Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood to a friend who has never seen the series or read any of the fan fic and she loved it! She also took my 'zines so she could read the series. She's a cat lover herself and has three of her own who do silly things like that all the time! By the by, she loved the series, too!) Keep up the good work! I'll be looking forward to the publication of BTjfS![30]

The covers are fantastic! And the artwork throughout is well placed and enjoyable, my favorite being the cat in Doyle's hair. Adorable! I also love KS Eaton's cartoons. (I own several originals and lots of prints.)

To Forgive the Soldiers-- Quite serious. "Punishing yourself for your past..." Well handled.

Ash Wednesday-- More serious thoughts. Doyle's hardest on himself.

Sanctuary-- I'm glad they didn't agonize too long before accepting love.

Masquerade-- Shut up, Bodie. No, talk out loud this time.

Mirror-- Blood and guts -- and love.

Hospital-- Poem and portrait -- both powerful.

After the Fall-- Good understanding between Bodie and Cowley.

Lord Acton-- He'll never see Green's face.

64-- Too much. Too much talking, too much to believe, too much out of character. Sorry.

Puns-- groaners as usual.

Recollection— more agonizing, poor baby.

Damaged Goods-- Now here's a story I really like! I don't know that it fits into the series -- did he really know Bodie back then?—but it makes a great "what if" or "alternate universe" or whatever. The characters feel and sound right to me. Good job.

Playing With Fire-- Her loss.

All Poetry-- As usual, my favorite part of the zine. I'm glad to have this segment as it fills in a lot of important points we were only guessing at before. The whole birthday idea is handled with interest, something not easy to do without any CI5 activities involved. Many good bits. "On 'is 'orse..." I can see Doyle reciting that! Bodie- Tom's poem. And the cat in the hair.

Something Unspoken-- Ah yes, still needed, always. Quicksand-- He understands, but it doesn't make it easier to help Ray.

Ghosts-- More good stuff. I like Susan. She's good for Bodie in this "universe." There is no question of Doyle's importance in Bodie's life, but there is room for Susan, too. A strong character worthy of Bodie.

First Form-- Paula and Karen together. Delightful!

Fallen Angel-- This is different. Not bad!

Ivory Towers-- I'm not sure Anne and Geraldine are the villains this paints (and very well) but the poem speaks to those unaware of the wolves attacking their fragile towers.

Dog-- I had trouble getting started, but once into this I found it interesting. Characterization and dialogue are good. It was obvious that a LOT of work went into it.

As always, Kate has delivered a quality zine, when promised. Thank you! [31]

British Takeaway 4 only arrived yesterday but since ray only two times to do things are now or never I thought I had better send this today.

I obviously haven't read the whole zine yet but I do have a few comments.

I enjoyed after the Fall. I found all the agony in When I'm Sixty-four very overdone. While I have an exceptional tolerance for fantasy and whimsy I did not like Fallen Angel. I think it may have something to do with Bodie's narrative style, which seemed very flat and uninteresting. I enjoyed the start of All Poetry is Difficult to Read but I fell asleep before I finished (Nothing to do with the story it was. about 3 A.M.) and have to finish it after this letter. Lord Acton Redux was well done and I loved the title. So far my favorite story is Start with a Mirror but I have a problem with it. The writing was excellent and the characterization was very good but I am not sure if I quite understood the climax, the scene where Bodie shoots Powell. Everyone later says that Bodie had saved Doyle's life. Well he obviously did but that could not be the reason he shot. From the description of the scene Powell was nowhere near Doyle when Bodie shot him since Bodie doesn't see Doyle until after he killed Powell. Strangulation is not something you can do long distance. Why not simply say, "You're under arrest, raise your hands" or the equivalent? The only answers I can come up with are 1) revenge which I tend to discount since Bodie doesn't appear to believe Doyle is dead, 2) jealousy, which may or may not be sexual in origin; Bodie just may not want Doyle to be close to anyone except him or 3) a pathological over protectiveness which leads him to kill someone who had he lived could have harmed Doyle emotionally and career-wise. In any case the man was a walking time-bomb.

Cowley's reaction is even stranger. He never seems to ask Bodie how a naked man armed with only piano wire could have constituted a such a threat to a man a room away that Bodie had to kill him immediately rather than arrest him (I realize Doyle was not a room away, but that was the scene Bodie had set up). Of course considering Bodie's well aired opinions of what should be done to Cowley, not a very likeable character in this story, he may have decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Of course I may be completely misreading the story but I am puzzled.[32]

British Takeaway #4 was an excellent read throughout, as I'd expected it would be. Fine stories, fine poetry, captivating artwork! My favorite illustration is Sheila Paulson's on page 53; come to think of it. Lord Acton Redux is also my favorite poem in this issue. The voice is very characteristic Cowley, the images strong, and the subject thought-provoking. I always appreciate poetry that sticks with me, and this piece does just that. Also very effective for me were Quicksand and Ash Wednesday.

The First Form Reader is great on an entirely different level; very accurate as humor can be, and very funny!

To Forgive the Soldiers was enjoyable because for once we got to explore the possible levels of guilt Bodie might feel. The interaction between the partners was very believable; Bodie so stubborn, and Ray reasonable and determined to believe in Bodie even when Bodie can't. The supporting characters were also good, especially the crazy woman and her well-presented grief.

After the Fall was short and to the point, just as it needed to be. Bodie's mood after the death of Marikka is a complex topic to handle in and of itself; adding to that the also slightly puzzling question of just what sort of relationship exists between Bodie and Cowley makes for a densely-packed couple of pages. But Marcia covered a few intense moments of conversation and racing thoughts very well.

When I'm Sixty-four had me smiling again and again as the lads stumbled through their courting ritual under the omniscient gaze of their boss. The presentation of Bodie and Doyle as lovers was less successful for me in Start With a Mirror, possibly because it relies so much on the idea that Ray has had 'bisexual inclinations', as Cowley so briskly states it, all along; something I never saw in the character as presented during the run of the TV series. The story was certainly well-written, but that mental block on my part made it less enjoyable than others in this issue.

In contrast. Fallen Angel was such a delightfully, lightly woven mix of fantasy/theology with hard, Scots common sense reactions to the highly unbelievable that I was able to drink in every word!

Both of the Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood offerings in this issue were excellent. Seeing how Susan and Bodie are developing a relationship was very satisfying; two real, strong-willed individuals forging a partnership. Entirely different from what Bodie had/has with Doyle, but important and valuable nonetheless. All Poetry is Difficult to Read is definitely a multi-level story. All the stuff surrounding Barbara's birthday party and the goings-on that lead up to it provide lots of lighthearted, warm and neighborly feelings for the participants as well as the readers. But underneath there are hints of Doyle as the odd man out, as someone not sure how to deal with his present loneliness. So the overall tone of the story for me was rather bittersweet. I continue to look forward to future installments!

The last thing I'll mention in detail is the thing I most enjoyed reading in this issue, Pat D'Orazio's Damaged Coeds. This story has stayed with me on several levels. First and foremost, Pat's handling of the characters is right on the mark for me, from beginning to end. Voice, gestures, attitudes all ring true. Second, she gives us a nice, solid feeling for what both Bodie and Cowley could well have in their pasts, all of it fitting nicely with what we're given in the TV episodes. The idea of Bodie as MacGregor's batman explains a great deal about the hints of affection we later see in Cowley, even when (or maybe especially when) he's most exasperated with 3.7; it also explains the familiarity beneath the respect in Bodie's attitude toward his boss. Third, and this is the nicest thing I can think of to say to Pat, is that the STORY is just plain great! Neatly plotted, intriguing characters, plenty of action, complications just where they will do the most harm to an already tricky mission, questions of morality and honor and friendship -- everything a story could ask for. Damaged Goods is a fine, fine piece of work, and I really hope I'll have a chance soon to read more of Pat's writing!

So, thanks once more for a wonderful 'zine![33]

Issue 5

British Takeaway 5 is undated (published in 1991) and contains about 150 pages.

front cover of issue #5, Kate Nuernberg
back cover of issue #5, Ruth Kurz

The art is by Billie Phillips, Ruth Kurz, Kate Nuernberg, Marj Ihssen, Tami Vermande, Andrian Morgan, Daphne Hamilton, Sheila Paulson, Dani Lane,Suzan Lovett, and TSL.

From the zine: "This zine is dedicated to our weekly meetings."

From the zine:

My undying gratitude, a free copy of the zine, but no salary, to my elves Alisa Schnaars, Emily Ross, and Cathy Stoecker for their hard work and support in all areas of producing this zine, including typing, collating, and mailing orders. Now get back to work. Special mention to Emily, my veteran screw-post shopper. Also huge thanks to Debbie for computer help, especially in converting the disks so many of my wonderful authors were able to send. For hole-punching (not to be con fused with cow-punching or cattle rustling) above and beyond the call of duty. And for owning enough metal shelves to collate on.

The editorial:

Congratulations to everyone who participated in British Takeaway t4—writers, artists, readers, and voters. We won a couple of Huggys (did you know that a comput er spell checker hates the word "Huggy"? Know what the first choice is for an alter nate? "Haggis." Cute, huh?) and a couple of Fan Q's, all to be shared by the multi-talented contributors. I'd like to note that Professionals fandom had a category all their own at MediaWest Con this year -- we're usually in "Miscellaneous". I think this is significant for two reasons -- 1. we had enough quality zines published, representing diverse tastes, to fill a category, 2. because of a change in rules, there was no "Miscellaneous"!

And thanks to all of you who contributed to BT#5; for your hard work and responding to deadlines; for being supportive and helpful; for taking criticisms and comments as welcome suggestions and not gospel.

I don't like to single out one contributor, but I must admit to a bit of prejudice. My sister, Salleee Budddd (she told me if I used her real name, I had to spell it wrong. She obviously didn't notice the credit page in the last sine) wrote the joke page. She is not a Pros fan (I'd like to think she's a fan of mine), but since she started it all four years ago with her Doyly-cart pun, she has contributed to every zine. In case you're wondering what madness lies here, I included her letter in toto (except for a comment about my mother).

I have to say something about the format of this zine. The stories and poems are listed in order on the table of contents, but without page numbers. This is because each story is numbered as an entity unto itself. You'll notice that titles appear at the foot of each page. This is to help you locate things. It is not impossible. Please don't make wax effigies of me and stick little pins in them. I have enough troubles right now as it is. (Have you ever lost a dental filling eating scrambled eggs? Only this morning, and only the last in a long line....) There was one over riding reason for this -- I could photocopy each story as it was completed and not wait until August to do it all. This spread out my payments and keeps my checkbook happy. It also spread out the work.

Life as we know it got a little trickier this year, and I anticipate even trickier things to come. I will be moving in September or October and changing jobs (obviously). I don't know where yet, so I can't include a change of address here. Anyone that you know who might be planning on ordering a BT/S, urge them to do so ASAP.

I am also putting British Takeaway on hiatus. Yes, I am planning on continuing, but I don't know when yet. I want to have more time to write, working on my own stories, instead of all the endless details that go along with producing a zine. (I'd like to finish The Neighborhood sometime in this century) I will notify people through adzines and my own letterzine when I plan on producing BT#6. Please do not send unsolicited manuscripts until you hear from me. I will take SASEs for this purpose, if you like, and will always answer an enquiry.

I hope to have more contact with fandom, through my writing, not less. And I, along with everyone else, am looking forward to Zebra Con 10!!!!

Nightmare on Morgan's Street is part of an ongoing series by Elizabeth Gibson. The other stories in this universe are in the lending library. They are The Letter, Over the Edge, Deathstroke, Nightmare on Morgan's Street, and Foxhole in a Lake Cabin.

  • LOCs
  • Odds Even by Kris Brown (11 pages)
  • The Guardians, poem by Emily Ross
  • Blood Still Cries by Debra Hicks (slash) (12 pages)
  • Edges by Kate Nuernberg (3 pages)
  • Somebody Who Cares, poem by Rachel Duncan
  • Tyger, Tyger by Marcia Brin (7 pages)
  • River on the Edge of a Graveyard, poem by Emily Ross
  • Pick Up/Put Down, vignettes by K.D. Swan (5 pages)
  • Forbidden Fruit, poem by Emily Ross
  • Home for Christmas by Sheila Paulson (20 pages)
  • Nightmare on Morgan's Street by Elizabeth Gibson (12 pages)
  • Where No Flags Fly by Linda Terrell (5 pages)
  • Amo, Amas, poem by Rachel Duncan
  • And What I Have Failed to Do by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #13) (10 pages)
  • Hostages to Fortune, poem by Emily Ross
  • So Much for Wishes by Ellis Ward (slash) (11 pages)
  • Culpability, poem by Emily Ross
  • Strange Interlude, jones by Salleeee Buddd, cartoon sent by Eileen Roy
  • Over the Rainbow by Emily Ross (2 pages)
  • The Strength to Care by Robin Goodfellow (some fans defined this story as slash) (28 pages)
  • Someone I Used to Know by Rachel Duncan
  • Predators by Ruth Kurz

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5

See reactions and reviews for So Much for Wishes.

See reactions and reviews for The Strength to Care.

[Tyger, Tyger]: As a public service to all "/" fans, I present here a list of the TEN WORST MARY SUE STORIES IN PRO'S FANDOM, AND HOW YOU CAN AVOID THEM. I'm not listing the author's names, though... in most case they've all ready done that themselves, and I can't see compounding the guilt. So, without further ado: [...] Another first-person Mary Sue. Another total lack of credibility.. Another waste of zine-space. [...] [34]

Issue 6

front cover of issue #6, Kate Nuernberg
back cover of issue #6, Kate Nuernberg

British Takeaway 6 was published in fall 1993 and contains 295 pages. Art by Sue Williams, Kate Nuernberg, Sheila Paulson, Ruth Kurz and Baravan. Two cartoons by Karen Eaton.

From an ad in July 1993 in GAZ: "A lady in turmoil, an agent in the bedroom, a conversation in the restroom, a burglar in Serbiton, an ex-cop in limbo, dog in the kitchen, a child in danger, a woman in a health food store, a controller in ropes, a partner in grief."

The pages in this issue, like the preceding issue, are not chronologically numbered.

Sadly, this issue does not contain any letters of comment.

From the editorial:

BRITISH TAKEAWAY #6 is no longer a rumor.

Over the last two and a half years, the best laid plans of mice and men gang agreed all over the place. In the beginning, I had a little trouble getting contributions; as you can see, that turned out not to be a problem. When Robin Goodfellow sent me her wonderful Winds of the Old Days, I knew I had a zine. Then this thing got bigger and bigger, and that became part of the problem.

Some terrific people sent me their stories on disk, and that really helped out. Then my computer went on a strike and decided not to read some of those disks. Problem again. Solved simply but not easily by retyping the stories. Thank goodness Robin's 90-pager was not among them.

[some personal info snipped]

yeah, I forgot—put out another zine, which I won't mention here. Yes, I will. PLAY IT AGAIN #3, my Quantum Leap zine, will be coming out at the same time this one does ($19.00 including U.S. postage)

Then I got writer's block. The Neighborhood story here is not the one I was going to write. It's the one I was able to write. For those of you to whom I described certain events that were going to happen in this story -- they still will. At some future date. And I hope the implications of that statement will make a few people happy.

Before you decide this editorial is going to turn into one big whine session, let me say one more thing: the zine is going to press today. Now let me recognize my contributors. All of them possessed infinite patience in waiting for me, responded quickly even when I didn't, and were a joy to work with. I apologize profusely to those of you who contributed early and whom I didn't keep in touch with ~ H.G., Marcia, Emily, Alys, Joan, Rachel ~ this is getting embarrassing ~ Linda, Karen, and Ruth.

A few comments about what you see here. Sue Williams is a new fan to the Professionals and is in that enviable position where she is getting to know the shows and the stories. She's an excellent artist ~ and she writes, too! A rare animal. Hello, Sue.

It's very exciting that some of the material was started in Cold Fish & Stale Chips. H.G.'s Open Book will be familiar to some of you, though she finished it in a new direction.

We got a sampling of Linda's haiku, which she has expanded to include every episode. Fascinating reading. Emily's Metal Fatigue appeared unfinished in CF and Shoshanna responded with some ideas. I'm sure that dialogue was interesting (these are two of the smart est ladies I know) and we get to see the results.

Kate Santovani wrote a sequel to her Walking Through the Broken Glass which got started in CF. 'Broken Glass,' by the way, is available in digest form for $4.50 from Poison Pen Press, [address redacted]. I recommend it, though you don't have to read it to enjoy 'Did She Mention My Name?' This latter was a special treat for me since one of the characters from Broken Glass—Ray's sister Meg—is introduced to the Neighborhood. This is unofficial alternate universe, although she did discuss it with me while she was writing. I hope she continues to write these (she promised!).

Well, all the stories, poems, bits and pieces do speak for themselves. So I'm going to let them.

Thanks to all of you who wrote or called in the last months with your support. It was very much appreciated.

  • Open Book by HG (slash) (14 pages)
  • cartoon by Karen Eaton (I page)
  • Hard-Learned Lessons by Londa Pfeffer (21 pages)
  • Metal Fatigue, poem by Emily Ross and Shoshanna (1 page)
  • Winter Rain by Alys (2 pages)
  • Fate is the Hunter by Sue Williams (16 pages)
  • Haiku by Linda Terrell (7 pages)
  • cartoon by Karen Eaton (1 page)
  • Risk Management by Salazar (2 pages)
  • With a Little Help by Kate Nuernberg - Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #11 (34 pages)
  • Incident in a Field Hospital in Spain, poem by Emily Ross (1 page)
  • Did She Mention My Name? by Kate Santovani (this is a sequel to Walking Through Broken Glass, and it uses a character from Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood Universe.) (31 pages)
  • Guilt Trip by Marcia Brin (3 pages)
  • To the Pure by Joyce Strohm (44 pages)
  • Overheard in the Rest Room by K. D. Swan (1 page)
  • The Ocean, Midnight Blue, poem by Rachel Duncan (1 page)
  • Dialogue in a Hospital Room by Marcia Brin (3 pages)
  • Lament for bagpipes and tapdancer, poem by J.M. [35] (1 page)
  • Winds of the Old Days by Robin Goodfellow - (slash) (91 pages)
  • Contributor's Copy, poem by J.M. [36] (1 page)


  1. ^ Close Quarters Desert Island Episode/Zine/Fic dated July 18, 2009, Archived version.
  2. ^ Hatstand Slashcity's entry, Archived version accessed April 4, 2012.
  3. ^ Paleyloitering's entry, accessed earlier.
  4. ^ Fan Q awards site
  5. ^ Personal correspondence with Alys and Alyx
  6. ^ 1986, from The Hatstand Express #11
  7. ^ from The Hatstand Express #10
  8. ^ from The Hatstand Express #10
  9. ^ quoted anonymously from Virgule-L (Oct 18, 1994)
  10. ^ quoted anonymously from Zine List (2003)
  11. ^ from The Hatstand Express #14
  12. ^ from Psst... Hey Kid, Wanna Buy a Fanzine? #4
  13. ^ from The Hatstand
  14. ^ from Ruth Kurz, comments from The Hatstand Express #17 (1988), also printed in full in British Takeaway #4
  15. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  16. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  17. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  18. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  19. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  20. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  21. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  22. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  23. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  24. ^ from an LOC in "British Takeaway" #4
  25. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  26. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  27. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  28. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  29. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  30. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  31. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  32. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  33. ^ from an LoC in "British Takeaway" #5
  34. ^ from Short Circuit #4 (January 1991)
  35. ^ This may be HG, as J.M. is a pseud HG used in The Small Print.
  36. ^ This may be HG, as J.M. is a pseud HG used in The Small Print.