The Hatstand Express/Issues 01-10

Fan Fiction Supplements · Issues 01-10 · Issues 11-23

Issue 1

The Hatstand Express 1 was published in spring 1984 and contains 40 pages.

front cover of issue #1, H.P.W.T. (photocopy)

back cover, issue #1, by H.P.W.T. (photocopy)

• the circulation was "around 20, mostly Australian"
• the deadline for Issue #2 was 1 July 1984
• the TOTM for issue #2 was "Where does Bodie come from and why does he behave the way he does?"
• this issue had three TOTMs: "Is the B/D relationship believable?," "Do Bodie and Doyle even like each other?," and "What do you like about the show?")
• the editor writes:

  Sorry to have to open our first issue on such a down note, but I owe each and everyone of you my apologies, especially the Australian fans, who are unfortunate enough to happen to reside in the same country as me. You see, gentle readers, the powers that be in British fandom have decided that because of my temerity, insolence, whatever, in daring to publish THE, ALL Australian fans (some of whom I've never even met and who don't subscribe to THE) will be cut out of, placed under embargo by, black-banned from, sent to Coventry by, excommunicated from, etc, the British 'hatstand' network in perpetuity. As most of you will know from my letters, I had absolutely no idea of the British fans' attitude, paranoia, possessiveness (or whatever it is that motivates them) when I started this venture, and I apologise for any hassles any of you may endure as a consequence of my actions. Not being able to contact all of you before publication, I took the liberty of assigning you pseudonyms until I heard from you personally to the contrary or advising your own choice of pseudonym. Again, I apologise for any confusion or inconvenience this causes, but I felt I couldn't make the choice of placing you in the same position of losing access to British stories. If any of you wish to withdraw your subscriptions because of the black-ban which threatens any subscriber to THE, please let me know and I will willingly refund your money... In addition, I have been contacted personally by a representative of Blue Jay Press, the apparent distributor of British 'hatstands', claiming exclusive rights to the word 'hatstand' and requesting I remove it from the title and contents of this letterzine. Without giving you my legal argument chapter and verse, I made reply to the effect that I do not accept their exclusive right to the word and refused to remove it from the title and contents of THE (I just know you would have loved receiving a copy that was heavily scored in the manner of censorship used by the armed forces!).... I would also be grateful if you would all do me a favor of not showing THE (or telling of its existence) to anyone who is either not already a confirmed B/D fan or who no involvement in another '/' fandom thank you. As you can see, my already active paranoia has now gone into hyperdrive - please fasten your seatbelts!...... Just call me "U.U." (Universe Usurper)** Alternatively, you can refer to me as "that leprous social pariah"!

• a fan writes:

  I must admit that it does make a nice change to have something originate here in Australia and not have to worry about overseas drafts and rushing to meet deadlines...

• an excerpt from a letter by "Harry" of Harry/Johnny, complete with exaggerated stutters:

  This is my first letter ever to a l-1-letter-zine- I had actually hoped that someone would get around to creating a H/J l-l-lettcrzine but I am beginning to think that will never happen. Where are all you H/J fans - how about it? (Did Ruth just faint?) why on earth anyone would want to create a B/D l-1-letterzine is beyond m-m-me. I mean these guys are t-two of the biggest wimps around.

• a fan answers one of the TOTM:

  ... I do agree that the feeling between them is not the same as that between (am I allowed to say this in this letterzine?) Starsky and Hutch. The Starsky and Hutch relationship is a LOVE relationship and, as one of those who does not believe in S/H until after SWEET REVEUGE, I'm going by aired StH, not fan S/H fiction... The Bodie and Doyle relationship to me had always been one more of respect than of love. They MUST have liked each other too though. You don't spend as much off time as they did with somebody you dislike. How many double dates did we see in the series?... I must say I don't believe that aired Bodie and Doyle actually LOVED each other. This is not to say that the relationship couldn't have been heading the way of B/D... I must admit however, that my observations of such scenes have been coloured by the reading of the myriad fan stories - specifically hatstands -- around. With the possible exception of BLOOD SPORTS which could have been the start of it all, I can't really say that I ever saw the B/D relationship in aired PROFESSIONALS. That was until I started reading hatstands.

• a fan says:

  What do I like about the Professionals? You mean besides the obvious visual attractions of Bodie and Doyle, I assume. I'm going to sink into a cliche and say the realism is its strongest point. I object to unrealistic violence in media. If we live in a violent world, and we do, and if it is to be shown on TV, then I want the ugliness spelt out. Gunshots are messy, knife wounds same, people who get beat up have swollen black and blue bodies and find it very hard to move. The Professionals managed realism as no other program I've ever seen and it made for a much better show. I also like the dialog and the working class elements.

• about the discussion topic:

  Terri Beckett claims they don't like one another. Much as I admire the lady I'm going to have to disagree with her stand. Using American standards of slush (which the truth be known I adore) no they aren't over demonstrative. But could you really see "Klansman" where Doyle is following the gurney down the hospital corridor with tears in his eyes cursing his 'half Irish-bastard' partner who might be dying on him. If that is not a demonstration of strong emotion I don't know what you're looking for unless it's pink valentines. On the other hand, in "Discovered in a Graveyard" when Doyle is the one gravely wounded the emotion is displayed in Bodie's overly-hardy tones when he assures Cowley his partner will make it. He refuses to accept a world in which Doyle is not a part. No, it may not be particularly demonstrative but, the love is very real.

• about the discussion topic, this fan touches on het Pros fanfiction and misogyny:

  Do I see the B/D relationship as believable? Well, it's like this folks. I write slash, I read slash, I enjoy slash but no way do I believe it. One of the earliest hatstanders had the notation, "Never in a million years, but if..." I like that attitude. The simple fact of the matter is, fan writers are so horrified of the specter of the dreaded Mary Sue they will not write straight fiction. I am lucky enough to have a collection of well over a hundred hatstanders. A female character of any age, or persuasion appears in four of them. That's right gang, four. I have come to the conclusion nobody out there likes women. I'm a woman and really very likeable. I think the ladies really need a little rehabilitation as our reputation, if one judges by fan fiction, is shit. What it boils down to, is, if you want to know something about these men's private side you'd better learn to believe in B/D. Anybody out there interested in straight stories as well as slash?

• a new fan writes:

  It seems hard to believe now, but only a relatively short time ago, I had virtually no knowledge of or interest in The Professionals. Now B/D has become an obsession, approaching and perhaps even surpassing my love for K/S. For this transformation, I'd like to thank the editor of this letterzine. For the many hours of videotapes, endless cups of tea, and all your kindness and hospitality, thank you Jill.

Fiction:

• Love is the Drug by Meg Lewtan
• Love Passages by Anonymous
• The Merrie Adventures of Bodiehood by Fanny Adams (as Araminta Carrington)
• Nothing so Dead as Yesterday by Meg Lewtan

• 

  from issue #1, by H.P.W.T. (photocopy)

• 

  from issue #1, by H.P.W.T. (photocopy)

Issue 2

The Hatstand Express 2 was published in July 1984 and contained 47 pages.

front cover of issue #2, H.P.W.T. (photocopy)

back cover, issue #2, A. Sheredan (photocopy)

• circulation may have been around 40 (based on the numbered copy count printed inside the letterzine)
• the deadline for Issue #3 was 1 October 1984
• a fan writes:

  I've been writing some B/D hatstands myself. I'm not too sure if they came out well in characterisation, but at least they got done, which is more than I can say for anything else. I find myself fascinated by Cowley (anyone else out there?), though not in the sexual sense (don't think he's fucking both or either of them), but in his reactions and his place in the show. A very interesting man...

• B/D?:

  ... I find the relationship B/D as viable on odd-numbered days, laughable on even-numbered days. Hmmm. Today is even. Well in that case, Doyle kicks Bodie in the balls and barely escapes with his virtue intact.

• there is a letter by "Harry" of Harry/Johnny:

  Anyway, enough of this shit. Johnny, stop worrying about other people's troubles and come back home to me. All this interest in those two queens is taking you away from me and I don't like it! I think I'll use your tapes and video for target practice. See what the effect the sudden impact of a slug from my new Magunm has on 'em. C'mon home, angel, before I really get mad.

• a fan comments about fiction in the previous issue:

  Araminta Carrington -- I dips me lid. I've read Bodiehood at least six times and still have hysterics. Our revered editor had to loan me her box of Kleenex so I could mop up the puddles the first time around. You've heard of tears of laughter? I have flood. I'm a hysterical giggler and that story set me off properly. It was WONDERFUL. More, more, please (as B said to D and vice versa... frequently.)

• another fan comments on fiction:

  ... I loved The Merry Adventures of Bodiehood. Nice fun and games and a mixed universe story. I laughed all the way thru.. I always imagined there would be a pre-"Mixed Doubles" story around, so was very interested when I got to Nothing So Dead as Yesterday. I love a nice long story... albeit I have to be careful if I read it on the tram, that no one is sitting next to me... And reading the other story, Love Passage... a story starting in the bedroom (where else) cuts out the working-up-to-it part!

• a fan named Karen wrote:

  I didn't want to get involved with THE PROFESSIONALS. In fact, I fought it for over a year, not allowing anyone to even try to convince me to take a look...I didn't need another fandom, said I. Well, so much for good intentions. It's all Vicki Hauk's fault, actually. At Cop-Con last October She asked me - as an editor - to look at a story she'd written and give her my opinion. That was very flattering, so I said sure, as long as she understood that I didn't know anything about the characters. I was fascinated. Intrigued. I wanted to know more... Bodie & Doyle were so different, and the relationship was more interesting than I would have guessed. I wanted to find out more, so I asked some questions and was shown some pictures and was handed a pile of B/D stories to read - kept we occupied the rest of the convention - and even got to see about 10 minutes of Bodie & Doyle (mostly Doyle) moving around. I was hooked. Didn't fight too hard, I admit. I guess the timing was right, or something.

• a fan writes:

  Do I think they're lovers? Oh of course I do. The feeling between them is strong, and there's a passion there, and yes, love. It shines out of Bodie-- you can tell he's crazy about Ray. Doyle is much harder to read, but I found that if you listen to his voice, his tone, rather than the words he uses, and watch his body language and face and gestures -- then you can see how much he cares for Bodie, in turn. I think with Bodie & Doyle the sex came first, before the love. It may have started out of curiosity, or convenience, or a moment of drunken playing around -- there are dozens and dozens of first-time stories in this fandom, god knows. But however and whyever it began, I think as time went on they did did fall in love with each other. It isn't the same kind of relationship Starsky & Hutch have, that's for sure, and we could discuss the differences forever. I think it's a long time before Bodie & Doyle can make any kind of commitment to each other -- maybe it never happens -- but the love is there. And I, for one, see it on screen.

• comments on fiction and a typo:

  All the fiction was wonderful, and Meg Lewtan never ceases to amaze me with her talent. Her Nothing So Dead as Yesterday unintentionally gave me the greatest laugh in the whole zine. Contained in that story had to be the most wonderful typo I've seen in ages. Forgive me Med and editors, but I just had to mention it. I'm referring of course to the scene on page 30 where Bodie has beaten the shit out of Macklin. So what did our intrepid 4.5 do? He walked over, "pulled Macklin off Bodie and laid him on the floor." Macklin should be so lucky!

• Fanny Adams writes:

  I have more story ideas for B/D than I ever had for S/H. I've finished more B/D since October (19 stories) than I've done in S/H in four years.

Fiction:

• Sleeping Bodie by Fanny Adams (as Araminta Carrington)
• Brave, or, Permission to be Admiringly Insolent by Frankie
• Call It What You Like by Meg Lewtan
• Mixed Doubles Doubled by Meg Lewtan
• Bodie's Background, a humorous speculation/bio by 3.4 1/2

Poetry:

• Good-by Marika by Sue Anne Hartwick
• Six Limericks by Meg Lewtan
• Seven Limericks by 6.9
• After the Rack by Meg Lewtan
• Bodievar by Meg Lewtan
• Graveyard Revisited by 4.5

Art:

• backover duo by Sheredan
• interior illo of Doyle by Jean
• interior illo of Bodie, Doyle, and Murphy by Jean

• 

  from issue #2, Jean C. (photocopy)

Issue 3

The Hatstand Express 3 was published in November 1984 and contains 65 pages.

cover of issue #3, H.P.W.T.

• the deadline for Issue #4 was 15 December 1984
• this issue contains a con report for 1984's ZebraCon, see that page

back cover of issue #3, art by Jean, "For all of us who are getting tired of see Doyle getting elfed-out, all the time..."

• the TOTM: "I am consistently unable to write a story where the lads tell George or he finds out about their relationship. I just cannot see him accepting the situation as easily as it is portrayed in some stories and I'd very much like to read other people's opinions on this subject," and "Decision time, folks. Name your favorite crotch shot. Yeah, yeah, I know there are soso many to choose from... be ruthless with yourself!"
• the editor writes:

  I am pleased to tell you that not ALL British fans hold with the 'closed shop' attitude adopted in some quarters of fandom. As proof of their willingness to share with other fans, two of this issue's stories were sent to us by British writers. To those concerned (you know who you are) my thanks for restoring our faith in the true spirit of fandom -- making friends and sharing. It is with no small modicum of pleasure and pride that I announce the debut of our very own detective serial. I know you will all enjoy the first chapter of Agent 3.4-1/2's "Death On The 9:13 to Birkenhead"...stay tuned for the next thrilling installment!

• a fan writes:

  I read Bodievar first... my praises to the poet!! I, normally, am just not your poetry sort of person; all those metaphors, and have to rhyme, which I invariably mispell anyhow... Bodievar, however, was SHEER PLEASURE from beginning to end.... It brought tears to my eyes.

• regarding art:

  THAT CENTERFOLD of Bodie, Doyle and Murphy MY GOD...it is such that, having looked upon it, I knew at last the Meaning of Life (and a few other things) and immediately cancelled my subscription to Meditation Monthly--after this drawing, who needs it??? Utterly gorgeous this is, and there'd better be more forthcoming from the artist, or I will be forced to show people MY rendering of the Evolution of the B/D Stick Figure, and that's been known to bring the entire SAS to their knees, howling for mercy. So beware:, and keep things like this coming. So to speak.

• regarding some fiction:

  Verily, Meg Lewtan is disgustingly talented, I only forgive her for being so talented because she made my day with CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE and MIXED DOUBLES DOUBLED (you know, Cowley was going to find out it was them and then they're going to be on guard duty... In the winter. On Baffin Island.' In a blizzard. Surrounded by rabid mechanical penguins. There's a Woody Allen film in there somewhere... I think I'll have to join the M. A. S. -- Murphy is gorgeous, and not enough use has been made of the dear boy, not by far. I can think of quite a lot of things he could do, but I don't think they're fit for publication, not even in something so broad minded as THE...

• a fan addresses another regarding het stories:

  Ah, my child. You have this tendency to rule out half the world. There are women out there, occasionally men have conventional relationships with them and while I absolutely adore hatstands, write them when I get the chance, and read them anyplace, anytime and by anybody unless forcibly restrained I also like straight stories. Don't hit me! Don't hit me!

• the recent ZebraCon:

  ....ZebraCon was fantastic, loved every minute of it. The atmosphere was absolutely electric. Didn't the Pros just walk away with it? I am so used to being in the minority it was a stunning revelation to find there were all those other nicely strange people running about. Turning you on to the Pros was the nicest favor I ever did myself. Your enthusiasms certainly can be infectious. Undoubtedly the highlight of the con was watching the original snakeoil salesman herself, [K B], conducting an auction. Ah, you do know how to separate women from their money, don't you? Showing all those lovely pieces of artwork to the panting audience, pandering to those with special tastes (God! You wouldn't believe what I paid for a Murphy). They say there is no substitute for experience, and you do, indeed, know how to run con.

• a fan praises some fiction:

  In my official capacity as Executive Vice-President, Far West Division, D.O.B.'s (Dirty Old Broads), let me congratulate you on your honest efforts to raise smut to a high art form. I absolutely loved Call it What You Like. You are obviously a woman of taste and discrimination and wrote a great story for the delectable Murphy. Perhaps just a few less tears next time? Have you noticed the oddity, in the few hatstanders who use Murphy, he has always ended up as Doyle's lover. Seems strange in view of the very special relationship between Bodie and Murphy. How's about this for a suggestion for the question of the month... Why do Bodie and Doyle have such an unusual regard for one another?

• hoping for more readers:

  THE got wonderful press at ZebraCon. Karen, Nancy, Sammie, and I all ran around pointing out that there were good things coming out of the south. I hope you get a ton more American readers. If we could just get enough people interesting, we could do this every month... wouldn't that be just WONDERFUL?

• regarding anonymity and art:

  As the editor of THE, Jill is very careful to preserve the anonymity of all contributors and, as one who needs to be anonymous, I am very grateful for her adherence to her principles. It does, however, leave me in the position of having use this method of saying thank you to the person whose first name adorns the wonderful centrefold in the last issue. The drawing was just beautiful and as a Murphy fan, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. My copy of THE is minus a page, as that glorious work of art is now framed. Whoever you are, Jean, your drawing lights up my life!!

• regarding Call it What You Like:

  Meg Lewtan is fixing to get hanged for Call It What You Like. That ending was a class A cop out if I ever saw one. Oh well, the woman can write so that forgives. She's a really fine writer. The B/D/M picture is (sigh) evil. That's a compliment, Jean. Frankie's Permission To Be Insolent is right up there with all the rest of Frankie's stories. Sigh, wish I could write like that. Araminta knows I kiss her feet in devotion and I enjoyed Sue-Anne's poem very much even though poetry usually wakes my eyes glaze over.

• [F A] writes:

  Stories. Many of you have asked me to copy them for you, or to loan you my copies to you can xerox and return them, whatever. First, I will not loan my stories anymore. It's too hard keep track of them when they're out of my hands. Second, I plan honoring all the commitments I've already made to copy stories, but I will not consider taking on any more until at least the first of the year. I'll notify you all through THE when I'm ready to resume copying. Please, please don't write and ask me to make exceptions since I can't. I don't have the time to stand in a xerox shop for hours each week. When I catch up, hopefully before the holidays, I plan to enjoy Christmas in peace and then I will consider taking on more people who need stories. The deal is this -- 3 cents per page plus postage. If you can find another supplier who will give you a better deal, take it. And those of you with extensive collections—give the rest of us break and offer to copy for the new fen, huh? Remember, if someone hadn't done it for you, you wouldn't have the stories today.

• a fan, [K L], writes:

  I have the time, the ability and the photostat machine to meet your copying requirements. For 5 cents a page plus postage I will copy stories. For a list of stories available (with number of pages for each story) please send a legal size s.s.a.e. or s.a.e plus 2IRCs... A postage rates list will also be enclosed. Where pages of stories or entire stories are illegible in original, these have been retyped.

• [K B] writes:

  I'd like to talk about fandom for a bit. Specifically, Pros fandom, which has been growing at an incredible rate recently. (Modesty does not prevent me from taking a tiny bit of credit for this, since a lot of those new fans discovered B/D at ZCon!) Well, everyone who finds this fandom immediately wants two things: a) all the episodes; and b) all the stories. A) isn't difficult to obtain; there are plenty of people with the episodes on tape, and since most fans these days seem to have at least 2 VCR's, copying tapes isn't really a problem. Stories, however, are. My most recent list, which will no doubt be out of date by the time you read this - contains almost 400 stories. That's several thousand pages, by conservative estimate, and my collection is by no means complete. I'm not sure anyone's is or can be, at the rate stories are being written. Jean and I are very lucky to have amassed such a collection in such a short, time, and I am immensely grateful to everyone who has been kind enough to send us stories. By way of saying THANK YOU - and to make a contribution of my own - I have been distributing (and will continue to do so) the 'Fanny Adams' stories free of charge to all who ask. It’s wonderful that so many people are writing, and willing to share their work. At the moment, that’s what this fandom mostly consists of, after all. But it does put a very heavy burden on those of us who have a lot of stories and are willing to xerox. It's not unusual to get a letter saying 'I have about a dozen stories, will you copy everything else?" And I'm not the only one who's been getting such requests. Mind you, I am not complaining. I love sharing what I have, and I don't mind copying stories for people at all. But it is getting out of hand. It's not a question of money (everyone pays 5 cents a page, no problem) or willingness -- it's simply a matter of time. With a xerox machine of my own (oh bliss) I might be able to keep up with all the requests, but with only an hour or two a week at the xerox shop it's just impossible. And I'm determined to fulfill every story request that comes in. I know what it is to be a new fan and be totally dependent on the kindness of other fans. What all this rambling is leading up to is this: there are about half a dozen people I'm currently in the process of copying stories for. It will probably take until November to at least finish that lot, and until then I cannot take on any more requests for copying. I'm must about snowed under with what I've already accepted! But be patient, Jean and I are currently in the process of putting together a ‘lending library’ of every Pros story we have. It’s a long, slow process, but once we have our entire collection copied, stories can be loaned out to anyone who wants them, a few at a time for a certain number of weeks, to be copied and returned. I think this system will work beautifully once we get it going, and it won’t be any slower, really, than waiting for me or Jean (or anyone else) to copy stories. And too, this way no money has to change hands. Let me repeat. I do not mind copying stories. I will continue to copy for all the people I currently write to/trade with. I am not refusing to ever copy for anyone else. All I am saying is that the sheer amount of stories – of paper – has gotten so large that this somewhat haphazard system isn’t working very well anymore. What we really need is a clearinghouse for stories, but in the absence of that I have some suggestions that will make things easier for all of us. 1) Keep accurate lists, preferably alphabetized, and if you're supplying other people keep accurate records. The index Jean is working on is fantastic -- I have my own set of file cares and they are invaluable. I also update my least about once a month or so to keep it as current and accurate as possible. Yeah, it's a lot of work, but with 400 plus stories floating around, good records are essential! 2) For heaven's sake, authors, title your stories!!! Any story that crosses my desk without a title will have one before it goes out again. Let's not make this any harder than it has to be, hmmm? 3) When typing a story, please keep in mind the fact that it vwill be copied many many times - leave margins, use a good ribbon, and if you're using the longer British paper, remember that when we copy it here we lose lines off top and bottom unless we reduce or copy on legal-sized paper, and not everyone can do that. Please leave space at top and bottom! Is there any good typist out there with time to spare and a masochistic nature who might be willing to re-type some of the stories that are almost unreadable??? 4) Are there others out there with large collections who might be willing to do some of the xeroxing? Right now the burden of xeroxing (in this country) seems to fall to just a few people...and we need help. It would be lovely, next time a new fan writes to me and wants all 400 stories, to say "I can't right now, but write to so-and-so, she has everything I do and can copy." And just for the record, one last time: I want to help everyone I can get as complete a collection as possible, and I will continue to do so. But it's just not possible to copy 400 stories for 5 new people each month. Or week. The 'lending library' is the best solution Jean and I have come up with. What do the rest of you think?

Fiction:

• Bodiederata by Miranda and Penelope
• Butch Bodie and Sunshine Lad by Meg Lewtan ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka Meg Lewtan")
• Withering Heights, or A Slow Deline into the Insanity of Slash by Meg Lewtan ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka Meg Lewtan")
• Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, Part 1 by Mosby Singleton
• Gone with the Falklands: Revised Again, or A Sheep Too Far by Mosby Singleton
• Hyperion to a Satyr, Part 1 by Sebastian (parts 2, 3 and 4 of Sebastian's "Hyperion to a Satyr" appeared in The Hatstand Express Fiction Supplement #3)
• Little Red Raymond Hood by Fanny Adams (as Araminta Carrington)
• The Portrait by Meg Lewtan
• Shirt Tales, Part 1 by Meg Lewtan
• Two in a Bunk (Is Worth One in the Hand) by Sebastian and HG - also published in HG Collected #2
• Yenta by Lainie Stone

Poetry:

• The Ex-Mercenary by Meg Lewtan
• Four Limericks by Meg Lewtan
• Thoughts on Facelift by Meg Lewtan
• Assault with a Friendly Weapon by Agent 6.2
• The Waiting Game by Agent 4.5
• Better Man by Sue Anne Hartwick

Art:

• front cover illo of Bodie and Doyle by H.P.W.T.
• back cover illo of Bodie by Jean
• interior illos of Bodie and Doyle respectively by Jean

• 

  interior illo from issue #3, Jean (photocopy)

• 

  interior illo from issue #3, Jean (photocopy)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

See reactions and reviews for Shirt Tales.

See reactions and reviews for Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead.

See reactions and reviews for The Portrait.

See reactions and reviews for Hyperion to a Satyr.

See reactions and reviews for Two in a Bunk.

Issue 4

The Hatstand Express 4 was published in January 1984 and contains 57 pages.

front cover of issue #4, H.T.W.P.

back cover of issue #4, Jean

• the circulation was now "a grand total of 60: 27 Australia, 26 U.S.A., 5 U.K., 2 Canada." (from the editorial)
• the deadline for issue #5 was March 15, 1985
• the editor says she will continue the letterzine for at least one more year
• the TOTM: "Do you see Bodie/Doyle during the aired series or did it begin afterwards?"
• the editor writes: "My thanks to Agent 3.4-1/2 for the wonderful incentive to continue publishing which she provided with her stunningly well written serial, Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead (I have to keep flattering her like this, or she may not send me the next installment...)"
• besides the editor, only one other fan comments about Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, saying, "I don't like serials"—this is probably due to the fact that chapter one was pretty tame and touched only briefly on Lewis and Shaw. Chapter two is different, with an alluded-to sex scene over the phone, Shaw's partner unnamed.
• a fan comments on her own fiction:

  Despite the threats of physical and psychological violence, persecution, abuse and name calling, I hereby declare my intention to remain steadfast, upright, strong and pure hearted. I vow I shall NOT reveal the ending of "Call It What You Like." Lynch mobs--form a line to the right. Thumbscrews and chains do not daunt me, force will never prevail (more, more, she pleaded). I will carry the last line to my grave! Do your worst, I am bloody (figuratively) but unbowed. (Now can I get back under the bed—I've only been out for a minute?) No, seriously folks, only one other person besides myself knows the ending, and she's the original clam: when it comes to details of plots of movies, books, etc. That person is not our revered editor -- she's mad at me, too. But I do thank you for all the (insert your own adjective) words.

• a fan is a fan of THE:

  The Hatstand Express is a blessingly beautiful addition to my fevered hunger.. And I'm looking forward to the next issue. It has yummy stories, clippings, shorts, fan news, as well as interesting topics (questions) brought up. It makes for good communication between fans.

• an American fan is omnivorous:

  I like to read both "/" end straight myself, Just anything about the two of them. And talking about straight, most of my friends that I have introduced to B&D lately have gotten hooked just as I am, but are mostly looking for straight stories since most of them don't like "/". But some of them are reading it anyway just to read about B&D. It is amazing what this fandom does and how it grows, considering that most fans here have never seen it off the air. Those of you who have are very lucky.

• a Scottish fan writes:

  Gee, I wish we had a Professionals con here. I've tried to stir up some interest but British Professionals fans seem content to have contact only by letter. Even Mixed Doubles has more US and Australian contributors than British ones.

• an Australian fan has some issues with terminology:

  How did they become the Pros, here it usually refers to prostitutes. The Profs was all right, and I do have a liking for Die Profis after searching magazine racks for German teenage magazine with photos. The Pros just rubs me the wrong way.

Fiction:

• Captives by Lois Welling
• A CI5 Christmas Carol by Meg Lewtan
• Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, Part 2 by Mosby Singleton
• Dynasty by Lainie Stone
• Pleasure Bent by Sebastian (online)
• Now Let's Get Really Tacky, part two: Shawderata (Or How to Lose Fans and Alienate People) by Bona Vacantia "(Advice to the Unworthy Department -- a treatise on the insecurity of an actor's life (inspired by Miranda and Penelope's treatment to the machismo of Bodie)"
• Don't Play It Again, Sam... I've Run Out of Kleenex ("Stolen from the Desk of Brian Clemens") by Meg Lewtan
• Gaslight is Better for Your Complexion ("Stolen from the Desk of Brian Clemens") by Meg Lewtan

Poetry:

• Two Years, Three Months by Sue-Anne Hartwick
• Six Limericks by Meg Lewtan
• When I Live My Dream by Jean Chabot
• After Elf by Jean Chabot

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

See reactions and reviews for Captives.

See reactions and reviews for Pleasure Bent.

See reactions and reviews for Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead.

Issue 5

The Hatstand Express 5 was published in April 1985 and has 58 pages.

front cover of issue #5, Jean. The back cover is identical to the front cover. A fan in issue #6 wrote: "I love the new cover picture of B & D. Jean does gorgeous work. If it wouldn't mean ruining the issue, I'd cut out either cover and frame it."

• this issue contained the note: "I've had it with the disclaimer! You all know this isn't a British zine!"
• the deadline for Issue #6 was June 15, 1985
• the TOTM is "How many times have we heard the cry, "But, that's not MY Bodie/Doyle/Starsky/Hutch/Hutch/Kirk/Spock, etc"? Well, folks, here's your chance... tell us about YOUR Bodie and Doyle."
• this issue has a section called "Trivial Pursuit" in which two fans answer Pros questions for those who do not have access/full access to all the episodes
• the editor comments on a subject of a bit of a conflict between circuit and "officially published" stories:

  AUTHORS: I have a slight problem. After every issue of THE, I get a number of letters, almost all of which contain words to the effect of: "Loved that story, but I'd read it before." While the amount I'm charging for THE barely covers my postage costs, people are paying good money to get their copies, and since they're most likely paying copying/postage costs for stories they get through the network, they are in effect paying twice for the one story. So I must ask you to please not send me stories that are already 'doing the rounds'. Fine, send the stories out via the usual methods once THE is in print--that way people will have the choice of getting the story (or not) -- if they already have THE). Subscribers are paying for THE 'sight unseen' and I think this double burden is rather unfair 'and is three month's wait before the stories go onto the network really that long a time to postpone? I'd really appreciate your cooperation here.

• a fan comments on Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead:

  ...I love Agent 3.4-1/2's story... but I'm afraid there is no 9:13 to Birkenhead... the government, in its wisdom, closed down and demolished our railway station years ago... all travel has to be done via Liverpool -- you may have heard of the place? Some lads whose names escape me came from there...

• yes, yes, the the editor must have had mixed feelings after reading (and typing up) this statement from a fan:

  I am bidden to tell you by one who wishes to remain incognito that your zine, while only being 'officially' received by five of us, is being read and enjoyed discreetly by more than that... and they wish to tell you the fiction section is very appreciated, especially Meg Lewtan's stories.

• a fan asks a question:

  I have a very serious question to ask : I'm not being sarcastic of anything, but where did the idea come from that there's anything FEMININE about Doyle? I've read stories lately that had him all but wearing a dress! I know he's slim, "exotic"-looking, sensitive, artistic, etc., etc, but but feminine? I realise some of the stuff I've read that so portrayed him was supposed to be humorous, but it still turns my stomach to see him depicted that way. There is nothing feminine about either of these guys and I think it's a dangerous trend to keep blatantly feminising one-half of ANY "/" pair. I can honestly say I've never seen any S/H stories that did that to the guys. I'd hate to think any B/D writers were helping to promote any stereotypical "gay"Images of either Bodle or Doyle!

• a fan protests:

  I do enjoy man/woman love stories, if they're well done, of course. But don't generalise -- we're talking about two specific men here and as far as they are concerned I'm interested in their relationship, not the superficial ones they have with women. MarySues are fun to read once -- sometimes, when they're not absolutely dreadful -- but I believe Bodie and Doyle belong together and that's the relationship I want to read about! That doesn't mean I'm not interested in hetero romances... far from it.

• a fan reminds others:

  Somewhere in these pages is an advert for Code 7 #5... ladies, I need stories! Any theme, any subject, as long as it's "Slash/" and hasn't been seen by anyone else.

• an announcement:

  The Hatstand Lending Library is open for business and is doing very well indeed. Thanks are due to many people who have helped with copying and retyping over the last few months. I have 460 stories in the Library at the moment, with more being added by the week, it seems. The set-up works like this: you may borrow up to 10 stories at a time for a 2-week period (3 weeks if overseas). No limit on number of pages, but please don't bite off more than you can xerox! Read them, loan them, copy them... but please get them back to me in 2 weeks time, but don't drool on the pages. I have been sending out Library packets free of charge, but it's starting to get out of hand -- 4 or 5 packages having to be mailed every week -- so I'm going to have to start asking the borrowers to pay for postage. I think that's fair. Anyway, you can write and ask for specific stories, or send me an SASE for a copy of the Library List (which is updated on the first of every month). I will fill your order as quickly as possible; if a requested story is out on loan, it will be included in the next packet. Any questions, just ask. I love organisation! I'm trying to get every story in the Library in as good condition as possible, hence the retyping. Stories that have been retyped or are in the process are: Scoring a Try, American Tourister, Deathgame, Blood Heat, Masquerade, Catharsis, Coldwater Morning, End of an Illusion, Again Blythe Spirit, One Good Turn, On Paper, Gruff and Grim, Just a Night Watching the Telly. There will be more... if any of you have an unreadable copy of any of these stories, you might want to the Library and get a better copy. I have over a dozen people using the Library right now, and they all seem to be happy with it -- it's sure quicker than waiting for me to copy for them, and easier on everybody all round.

• pseuds get in the way of fiction tastes, and of thank you's:

  I'd like to raise the topic of fiction in this fandom. I have just succumbed to an over-dose of this fiction, with the expected result: I'm addicted. Accustomed to Star Trek zines, I fidn the situation frustrating to say the least. With Trek, I learned to recognize the names (or pseudonyms) of authors, to know which zines contains stories that have been edited, which zine producers take the time to proof-read, and the type of story to expect in a zine. I've also tried (though not as often as I should) to write to editors and authors saying what I liked -- or disliked -- about a story. Then I found The Professionals and heard that there were stories. Only through perseverance and some very kind friends, did I tap into a supply of stories. Now, about 150 stories later, [Karen B] has a library list and [Karen L] offers photocopied stories from which I can choose. But how? Certainly not by author's name. Only Fanny Adams admits to what she writes and Pam Rose now has 2 stories making the rounds. (T.H.E. stories do have authors, but my problems are with stories not found in T.H.E., or any zine available, but with ones being circulated by other means.) There are certain stories from which I've derived a great deal of pleasure, each of which I've read more than once. I wish I could tell the author's this: even more, I'd like to read other stories by these writers. Some titles that I would recommend without reservations are: Rediscovered in a Graveyard, Injured Innocents, Cause for Concern, Kind Hearts, Strange Days Indeed, and Art Forms. Please could anyone suggest other stories by the others of the above?

Fiction:

• Apprentice to a Journeyman by Lainie Stone
• Bionic Golly versus Priapismic Monster by Sharon F ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka [Sharon F]")
• Bodie and the Beast by Fanny Adams (as Araminta Carrington)
• On the First Day of Christmas by HG (also in HG Collected #1)
• Pretty Bodie, or, The Best Little House in Parliament by Fanny Adams (as Araminta Carrington) (consists of one sentence: "On your backs, boys," Cowley growled.")
• Shirt Tales, Part 2 by Meg Lewtan
• Super Grass by Meg Lewtan
• The Ultimate Hatstand by Kathleen Clair

Poetry:

• The Cop from Snowy River by Meg Lewtan
• Premonition by Jean Chabot
• A Love Song from Bodie by Sue Anne Hartwick
• Two Limericks by Meg Lewtan
• Chemistry by Agent 1000.50
• Two Haikus by Agent 1000.50

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5

See reactions and reviews for Shirt Tales.

See reactions and reviews for Apprentice to a Journeyman.

See reactions and reviews for Bodie and the Beast.

See reactions and reviews for On the First Day of Christmas.

See reactions and reviews for Super Grass.

See reactions and reviews for The Ultimate Hatstand.

Issue 6

The Hatstand Express 6 was published in July 1985 and contains 58 pages.

• the deadline for issue #7 was September 15, 1985

front cover of issue #6, Jean. The back cover is identical. A fan writes: "Loved the cover -- that's the one Jean calls "English Muffins", isn't it?? (The title must have some significance, but when asked Jean tends to mutter something about marmalade and change the subject..."

• fans are asked to list their top ten Pros stories. In 1985, the vast majority of Pros stories were circuit stories. This is reflected in the list which you can see here.
• this is the first issue of The Hatstand Express that uses the phrase "the circuit"—up until now, fans used the terms, "the network," "the usual sources," and "making copies for people."
• the TOTM: "Name your 10 all-time favourite hatstands (if you can reduce your list of favourites to that small a number) and tell us why they're your favourites."
• this issue contains Open Letter to the Editors of All K/S Zines & All Other "/" Media Zines, which comments on The Great Australian Radio Show Fiasco
• this issue contains a recipe for "spotted dick," lots of chat about spotted dicks, and includes a story by HG called "Spotted Dick," all in reaction to a question regarding a Pros story Sue Booth, one which fans comment has lots of Americanisms
• from the editor:

  Your humble editor would also be most fascinated to hear other responses to Fanny Adams' question in this issue regarding the issue of zines in this fandom. I, too, am very ambivalent on the subject—despite my sympathies for the editors trying to accomplish what appears to be an impossible task, i.e. keeping a story under wraps long enough for it to make it 'sight unseen' to the pages of a zine (thank you, Meg—I light a candle for you every night) -- and I tend to agree with Fanny that zines may change the structure of the fandom. I have my own doubts as to whether zines are even feasible in a fandom that has grown ever larger on the basis of uncontrolled copying of stories to date...and, to play devil's advocate, why pay for zines when you can get stories relatively cheaply on the network? I hope you'll all let us know your views.

• a British fan (Terri Beckett) writes regarding the term "hatstand" and appropriation of that, and Pros fandom:

  ... I have just seen THE HATSTAND EXPRESS. And I was disgusted. No, no, not by THE -- but by the shabby way you and the Australian fans have been treated by Blue Jay Press and their adherents. So I decided to write to you, and the other Australian fans, in the hope of clearing up a few points. Firstly, as you rightly say, BJP have no copyright claim over the term 'Hatstand.' This term was in fact invented by me, while watching INVOLVEMENT. When Bodie and Cowley are discussing the 'vetting' of Ann Holly, you will remember, Cowley looks at Bodie and says, 'Well, we'll never have this trouble with you, will we?' Or words to that effect. I have witnesses to the fact that I shrieked with mirth and fell about, chortling the immortal phrase, 'That's it, Cowley said so! Bodie's as gay as a hatstand.' Now, I meant to say 'bent,' but I am known for mixing my metaphors, and the rest is history... In short, if anyone has a copyright claim over the term 'hatstand,' it is me. And I grant you full and free use of it for as long as you may wish it. So there. Secondly, the attitude of a few soi-disant fans in UK should not be held representative of British fandom. I can assure you that those few are in a very small minority—most of us are delighted by your interest and enthusiasm and wi11ingness to share. Please don't tar us all with the same brush? Those few have no right to tell you what you can or cannot write, or to critices gratuitously, or set themselves up as Arbiters of Taste. Believe me, there are many of us who will do our best to help, to offer comment, to de-Yank or de-Oz (as the case may be) your B&D or B/D writing, without fear or favour. Since Chris Power and myself have gone that route with our S&H writing, I know It's pretty-near painless.

• AN Other wrote about her thoughts regarding Bodie/Doyle:

  The Topic for Discussion in THE 1 was my assertion that B&D don't like each other. Mes amis, in first season, they didn't. That is a fact, and often the script was fighting the personal antipathy between the two. As the series progressed, however, I will concede that a tolerance matured into a wary friendship, and eventually they did 'like' each other. 'Love' is another matter entirely, and I hesitate to get myself in deeper than I already am, because I still don't 'see' B/D as a valid premise. That's a personal opinion. Everyone is entitled, right...? I can still read the fiction and enjoy it. I just don't believe it. Which makes it impossible to write it. I have to (a) believe in the premises and (b) like the characters I'm writing about. Which brings me to another misconception currently prevalent in BD fandom -- the notion that I hate THE PROFESSIONALS. This is not true. I don't hate them. I watch the show and enjoy it. I read the fanfic and enjoy it, and I appreciate Ray Doyle as much as anyone can whose heart belongs now and forever to a certain L.A. detective sergeant. So can we at least get this (you should pardon the phrase) straight? However, where it comes to Bodie... It's not his fault. The acting is too good. He reminds me too much of someone I once knew and cordially disliked. Sorry about that. A fault in me, no doubt, that I can't separate the two...

• a fan pleads:

  I'm pleased to see that there is some excellent straight B&D getting written at last. This is the nuts and bolts of the relationship, people. Let's not ignore it or put it down!

• regarding anonymity:

  I... wish authors would identify their writing somehow! I'm fairly new to this fandom, but I've already come across stories I love and wish I could read the author's other stories, if any.

• a number of fans plead for writers to pick a pseud and stick with using it -- Fanny Adams writes:

  I've asked a lot of you privately to please pick a pseudonym and use it on your stories...much good it's done me. Really though, with close to 600 stories floating around, it'd be very nice to know who has produced what, to be able to say "Oh, a story by Petunia Pencilshaving! I must read it", or "Oh, no, another piece of Petunia Pencilshaving's dreck. I think I'll save it until I feel stronger...or more desperate". Either way, if you're going to write more than one story, it's a nice thing to do for your readers. Considerate, you know?

• a fan writes:

  I'm curious about something that some of us discussed while at MediaWest Con. I happened to mention that there were certain folks who were adamantly opposed to having zines in this fandom, and one of the ladies in the room said that she was ambivalent about the idea herself. Well, so am I. I don't mean something like THE, but rather a regular fanzine liked Warped Space. I'm ambivalent because I know that despite all good intentions, it will change the structure of this fandom. I'm afraid that I'm going to end up paying good money for stuff I wouldn't xerox for myself if it came around on the circuit. I do think there are some positive points to the idea —- readable copies would be soooo nice. And then there is artwork —- always something to look forward to. (Okay, almost always. I'm more patient with mediocre art than mediocre writing because there are so few artists in fandom while everyone thinks she can write.) To be fair, I don't see zines undermining the fabric of fandom and ruining all our fun -— that would be ludicrous -— but I do wonder if BD fandom will be as much fun five years and fifty zines down the road. It hasn't stopped me from contributing to all the planned B/D and BD zines I know about, and I'm hoping to get Cat Tales Collected done by the end of the year, so you see, I am not against the concept...merely not totally for it. I assume that you zine eds are going to write fervent letters denying that zine publication will have any negative effect whatsoever, and in fact will prove, with evidence gleaned from the New England Journal of Medicine, that B/D zines will prevent cancer, heart disease and boils. Unfortunately, youze guys have this vested interest in zine production that makes your support a little suspect. What about the rest of you?

• regarding The Bullshitters:

  I have finally seen The Bullshitters! It really is amazing. I still haven't properly deciphered all of the dialogue, but it isn't really necessary. I laugh myself silly each time I watch it, yet I still get a warm fuzzy feeling each time they roll down that hill together. *Sigh* TV over here would probably never show something like that, unless perhaps on one of the pay-cable services. Ordinary broadcast networks would turn pale and sign against the evil eye.

• a fan comments:

  On the subject of B/D stories, like a previous correspondent I prefer those where the relationship is part of their lives, but not the most important part...or at least not the only thing they have going for them being that they are good in bed together. One of the problems with a lot of K/S being that you tended to wonder how they ever got out of bed long enough to do their jobs...latterly anyway. I agree with Sherry's list of stories that are really good...I seem to have read most of 'em...can also put in a word for one called Janus, a sequel to a story in a zine, can't remember the original story name, it's the one where Bodie has the dream of being in a previous existence, as a Roman in early Britain. [The story is "Leap In The Dark". Ed.]

• comments on favorite hatstands from Agent 15.8:

  On the subject of favourite hatstands, my two favourites are Rediscovered in a Graveyard and Masquerade...both two good LONG STORIES...I like a solid read...with the double bonus in Graveyard that you have two stories running concurrently and they are BOTH interesting. They also both have humour as well...which I Insist on if there's a lot of suffering along the way, and there's got to be some, after all. I'm a fan of Injured Innocents too, for the same reasons.

• comments by [O Y] on favorite hatstands:

  I thought I'd give you my list of 10 favourite hatstands—those in the know will recognise a preponderance of certain authors. Sorry about that, everyone else, it isn't that I don't like yours, just that these particular writers have something that appeals to my personal taste. They are not in order, I couldn't sort them into anything remotely resembling It, and it was sheer hell having to reject another nine that were firmly on my list of personal favourites. The Bal1 Was Good, B & D Beside the Sea, Scoring a Try, Two in a Bunk, Rediscovered in a Graveyard, The Anniversary, Blood Heat, Gruff 'n Grim, Honours Even, Where the Worms Are

• comments by Agent 74.2 on favorite hatstands:

  You have got to be kidding. I can list 10 favourite hatstands, but why? We'll all be typing for days. Rather than deal with each one specifically, I think what makes my favourite good stories is that they are fully developed, well rounded pieces where plot and character play a primary role. The sexual relationship, while not taking a back seat, is believable within the context of the story. In other words, you could remove the erotica and still have a story—not as much fun, I'll grant, but it is there. I like stories where they talk to each other, even if they are screaming or fighting. I like to learn about what they are thinking, what motivates them—in essence, why have they gotten to a point where they want to be lovers. On that basis, topping my list are "Rediscovered in a Graveyard" and "Injured Innocents". Multi-layered with a cast of believable characters and lots of texture. In no particular order, I am very fond of "Aurelian", "Art Forms", "Adagio", "Kind Hearts", "Endgame", "Brass in Pocket", "Painting the Clouds/Masquerade" and "Beggar's Banquet". Also, "Before the Time of Crossing" (Endgame sequel), "Of Tethered Goats and Tigers", "Nancy and Sammie's Pipe Dream" (plus the sequel/addendum), "Bondage" (breaks my rule about plot, but this one is fun), "Who Dares Drips", "Discovered in a Haystack", "Lightslide", "Scoring a Try", "Not Even Goodbye". Then there are some straight stories that are wonderful. Among them are "The Peanut Butter Connection", "American Tourister" and Fugue in V Minor". For those of you that can, beg, borrow or steal a copy of "Master of the Revels", an unfinished Zax story. I'd better stop—having far exceeded my quota. It's so hard to narrow favourites down to 10 and I hope I haven't offended by leaving anyone out. With stories coming out in such volume it's a wonder I can keep track at all.

• comments by Agent 6.9 on favorite hatstands:

  My list of 10 favorites, eh? Boy you love to pick the hard questions don'cha? OK, I'll try, but I guarantee it will change as soon as this gets posted. 1. Of Tethered Goats and Tigers (because it has plot!) 2. The Emma Series (ditto) 3. Adagio and Sequels (ditto again, also Doyle doesn't weep down Bodie's shirtfront in the nauseating way he does in other stories) 4. Endgame (hated it but can't forget it) 5. Scoring a Try (great sex!) 6. Master of the Revels (more plot, more sex, not finished...threatening letters to 'H.G.') 7. Cat Tales (plot, continuance, weirdness) 8. Who Dares Drips (I love footnotes—also plot—also sex) 9. Masquerade (a sight more believable than Painting the Clouds) 10. All of the Historicals (for one reason or another).

• comments by [M L] on favorite hatstands:

  My ten favourite hatstands follow but they are NOT, with the exception of the first, in any order of preference. However, as all my friends know, my all-time, ultimate, best-loved story is RULES OF THE GAME. Most hatstands are published anonymously as we're well aware, but I'm pleased to say I've met the authors and been able to thank them personally for the pleasure that story gave me. I've loved that story since I read it in 1983 and I've never changed my mind about it. Don't ask me why I prefer it to everything else, I don't KNOW why. It exists and I just do! WINE DARK NEXUS—a brilliantly researched, period piece. I've read a lot of Ancient History and the authenticity leaves me gasping. Who did all the work? AURELIAN—the fantasy element and the eternal battle between good and evil make a wonderful background for a first timer. LONG SHADOWS—mercenaries ride again, but there's an underlying tenderness in this story that is a powerful contrast t6 the setting. ENDGAME—is incisive, brilliant, and absolutely chilling!! Bodie is dangerously insane for all the right reasons. The logic of his insanity leaves my hair standing on end. Yes, I know it's a death story and I loathe death stories—but it's too good to be ignored. THEY DON'T ALL WEAR GREEN ON THURSDAYS—the title Is enough to send me into stitches (where does it come from and what does it mean?) but the story is an in-depth exploration of the beginning of a relationship. The fulfillment of Doyle's dreams is beautifully treated. I love the scene where he hesitates in the bathroom and is unable to take the final step. ART FORMS—the idea of Bodie writing poetry is highly unlikely to my way of thinking, but the author convinces me with a description of what he writes. The rest of the story is beautiful, especially the way Bodie visualises Doyle as a faun (oh dear, elves/satyrs/fauns...Sigh...my classical romantic streak convulses in ecstasy again). A DIFFERENT BEGINNING—this setting is quite believable given Doyle's idealism and the varying levels of corruption in the world's police forces. The story is restrained in its emotionalism and very convincing. BROWN STUDY—a hurt/comfort, first timer, but oh, so well written and very gentle. I'd love a sequel to this one. BODIEHOOD—I still laugh when I read this story. It's a collection of the best one liners in the business and hysterically funny limericks. It's the funniest hatstand alive! This list took me a great deal of time to sort out and because of the limit I've left out many others I really like. Not knowing the authors makes it difficult to say thank you to them. So, to all authors of hatstands, my heartfelt thanks and sincere appreciation for ALL the stories I've read.

• [A V] writes:

  Your request for a favorites list was irresistible—I love making lists. It was, really, pretty easy to do—I have only kept copies of the ones I've really liked, to all I had to do was go over my collection and pick out the best 10. It was a leetle harder to put them in order, as some I like equally as much... (1) END GAME—because it is The Best—best written, best story, best blatant heart tugger—just, the best. (2) MASQUERADE—well, what else! who, doing a list of B/D hatstands (or any slash stories, for that matter) could leave this big 'funny excellent story off the list. (3) TETHERED GOATS and TIGERS - again, it's a big meaty enjoyable read without much of the humour of Masquerade, but just as well written (4) WILD REALITY—one of the few 'alternate world' B/D stories I like—if I'm reading about particular characters in a particular setting I generally don't like them taken out of that setting—but WR is an exception. (5) FLU—a shorter but still enjoyable story and one that could very easily have been written as a straight story-even so, its mood and manner are excellent. (6) STORMY WEATHER - nicely done with lots of contemplation and a suitably English setting. (7) CAUSE FOR CONCERN—interesting construction, with the interphasing of CI5 memorandums and a strong story development. (8) UNFINISHED BUSINESS - amazing what can go on in a crowded room. (9) BETWEEN THE LINES—just 'cause it's good. (10) LONG SHADOWS—this one because it delves a little into Bodie's mysterious past as a mercenary. (I note with interest that all of the above stories are, in one way or another, 'first time' stories. I suppose I must like that 'moment of discovery'.)

• a fan writes:

  My favourite stories are ones where either their relationship is already established, or the story although a 'first time' goes beyond that into how the relationship progresses, such as Injured Innocents. I like stories where B&D going to bed together is a natural part of the story and not one where it looks as if a story has been woven around a bed scene—not that I've got anything against sex scenes—I love 'em! I like strongly written characters, and as I don't see their relationship as being all sweetness and light. I like the ones where things run anything but smoothly.

• regarding The Library:

  I know you're all just dying to hear how the library's doing... very well, thank you. Last tine I talked about sending out 3 or 4 packages a week, and 460 stories... well, it's up to 10 to 12 packages a week, and almost 600 stories.. .making it even more vital that when you borrow from the Library you return the stories within the 2 week time period, with postage! I must say, almost everyone has been very conscientious about playing by the rules so far. I appreciate it, and so do the people waiting on stories. Two requests: first, it's a good idea, as more and more people start using the Library, to send me a long list of requests. If you name 20 stories the odds are good that 10 will be in stock; but if you only ask for 10 don't be surprised if you don't get half of them the first time. Second, (this to authors) would you please keep the Library in mind when you send out your stories? When you're sending your latest around to your friends, drop a copy off to me too, if you can, and I'll certainly reimburse you. I've already had requests for 2 stories that I know are 'out' but that I haven't gotten yet, and I hate making people wait. Thanks! (And many many thank yous to all the people who have helped so much in getting this system set up - you know who you are. Much as I would love to take all the credit, quite a few people have had a hand in making the Library work, and I'm grateful to you all.... [regarding pseuds]: I wish authors would identify their stories too! I have a suggestion... each woman who has written more than one story could make up a list of her work and send it in to THE, with a pseudonym, and it could be done quite anonymously, if you like, by asking a friend to send in the list, and by keeping said list quite apart from letters or stories or anything that would identify the author. It would be a tremendous help both to the new fans who don't know what to ask for in the way of stories, and to those of us trying to distribute stories.)

Fiction:

• Attitude of Mind by Meg Lewtan
• The Blue Boy by Meg Lewtan ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka Meg Lewtan")
• Collinsderata by Bona Vacantia
• Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, part 3 by Mosby Singleton
• In Tandem--And So to Bed by O Yardley
• Junerling by Meg Lewtan ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka Meg Lewtan")
• Spotted Dick by O Yardley (possibly written in response to an American story by Sue Booth that featured "spotted dick," and was asked about in the previous issue)
• Zine-Ed-Derata by Bona Contention and Bona Vacantia

Poetry:

• Here There Be Dragons by Sue Anne Hartwick
• Green Cock of the Yellow God by Meg Lewtan
• Six Limericks by Lorna
• It's Always Us by Meg Lewtan
• Two Limericks by Meg Lewtan

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 6

See reactions and reviews for Spotted Dick.

See reactions and reviews for Attitude of Mind.

See reactions and reviews for Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead.

Issue 7

The Hatstand Express 7 was published in October 1985 and has 60 pages.

front and back covers of issue #7

art from issue #7

art from issue #7

• the editor says that as of the January 1986 issue, the new editor will be Sarah Leibold who will be also publishing Not Tonight Spock! at the same time; this transition may have been stalled off an issue, or the two editors may have worked on issue #8 together, as it isn't until issue #9 that the letterzine was a "U.S. publication"
• the deadline for Issue #8 was December 1, 1985
• the TOTQ asks if Bodie and Doyle are sexually exclusive to each other and if they are they "exclusively gay"
• many fans continue to address a topic from issue #6 -- their "Top Ten Favorite Stories"
• many fans are very unhappy with a RPS in general, and specifically a story printed in this issue called Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead; one fan furiously threatens to cancel her subscription, see that page for more
• a number of fans write of their impressions of the play "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"
• a fan writes of changes:

  Having lived through the joyous rise and exhausted fall of several letterzines and zines, I feel it is inevitable for a fandom to enjoy and suffer all the phases it goes through. There is no chance of avoiding change. The strong survive—adapt to the changing environment. Although the honeymoon may pass, the love lingers with a different depth. Like you, I want the opportunity to read everything, so will accept all the changes coming. Beats the alternative!

• a fan writes about the possibility of Pros zines:

  If they do them, I hope artwork will not play too big a part...so much of it in Trek zines for example is so bad...and as a friend of mine said about zines filled with wide white pages with one small poem crouched in the centre, "Very pretty, but we can't read white spaces." Feel the same way myself... I know what they look like, don't need an illo, and the words are the main thing.

• a fan comments on the recent Australian interview that many fans felt was too open and outed slash:

  Pity about the blabbermouth on Aussie radio. Why does one always come along to screw things up?

• Another fan has this to say about the radio interview:

  I'd heard about the Great Australian Radio Fiasco and was properly horrified, but consider this—what we do, no matter how we try to keep it quiet, can always be made public. Sure we can reduce the risk by not selling to/supplying known troublemakers, but trouble comes out of left field more often than not. What we do for the most part is pretty tame, really, and while the moral majority may look askance, and people like the radio interviewer may think we're all just a bunch of geeks getting our rocks off in weird ways, very little harm is actually done.

• a fan is grateful for some disclosure:

  Bless you, authors, who have given us some way to identify your stories. I appreciate the Story List section so very much - I don't really care how you identify yourselves -- everything I write goes under a pseudonym, too, but I want to know what pieces an author has written so I can be sure to collect all the pieces by my very favourites first.

• a fan offers another a favor:

  On the off chance you don't have all of the straight stories, ask Ed. for my address and perhaps we can work up some swaps. Anyone out there who has the gall to admit they write and/or enjoy mary sues, I'd love to hear from you. I am hoping this fandom will not condemn all straight stories as mary sue.

• a fan disagrees with another about whether Bodie is a "toucher" of others:

  I must beg to differ. Bodie NEVER touches anyone except Doyle, unless he wants something. Threat or persuasion but never, never, for the simple pleasure of touching or to give comfort. In 'The Gun', he never put his hand on what is presumably an old frlend/lover despite her distress until he has driven her away emotionally. Then and only then, does he offer comfort. Doyle on the other hand, is all over people. For him to offer comfort is instinctive, not reasoned. Well, differences are what is most exhilarating about fandom.

• a fan is conflicted about the idea of Pros zines:

  I'm a little troubled too, at the prospect of B/D zines. If zines are likely to mean a reduction in the number of stories that are passed around the circuit, I shall regret it very much. I enjoy putting my own ideas into words, enjoy even more sharing my ideas with friends, and if my stories give a much wider circle enjoyment as well, well that's terrific. But the best aspect of this fandom is the informality of it all - l love that and the way stories will arrive in ones, twos or threes, instead of me having to wait months for a zine. And although it's tempting to have a go at submitting to a zine, I don't think I'd like anything of mine tied up for very long. I don't write very quickly, but when I do finish something I like it to go out as soon as possible.

• more on zines, and this fan focuses on cost:

  On the topic of zines versus the circuit—zines do have the advantage of giving readable copies. I have not done a price per zine page comparison to the price per photocopy cost, so I can't figure if any price difference would enter into it. The circuit does give you the option of only paying for copies of stories you want to keep, assuming you are able to borrow and do your own copying. This is the first fandom I've encountered with the photocopy circuit, so I'm still not sure if I like this better or not. In its favour is the faster writer to reader time over the more conventional $10-20, year late, and two years after submission type zine. With THE [The Hatstand Express], coming out on an on-time quarterly basis, that does not affect its stories so much. I am a bit disappointed when I see reruns in THE, but since they are clearer copies than the originals I saw, and I've pre-paid for them at almost a postage only basis, I haven't minded so far.

• more on zines, with a focus on cost, a dislike of multimedia publications, and of getting Customs on their tail:

  I'm not in favour of [zines] at all. I cannot afford to buy zines produced outside Britain, partly because of my precarious finances, partly the exchange rate coupled with high bank charges for obtaining a foreign bank draft or money order. That means I'm going to miss out on a lot of stories that go into zines. Secondly, I'm not a multi-media fan, and would not even consider paying out money for a zine that was part B/D and part some other universe. Thirdly, zines may look pretty, but they carry an awful lot of dead weight: loads of white paper in between and around double-spaced type; decorations around the borders of pages! Artwork (unlike [name redacted]) I can just about put up with a mediocre story, I cannot stand indifferent artwork and the majority of artwork is, I'm sorry to say), and fancy covers with spiral binding that attract the unwanted attention of H.M. Customs & Excise. Those are just a few of the reasons I'm not in favour of B/D zines. With typewritten stories, they're unobtrusive. I manage to read quite a lot, thanks to the good offices of friends, and can xerox those I want to keep to read again. All for a relatively small cost compared with what zines would be. Nor do I have the annoyance, as [name redacted] remarked, only more politely, of having paid of lot of money for fifth rate material.

• more about zines:

  I think the advent of fanzines is inevitable, not only for the reasons mentioned last ish, but because that's what some folks do best -- pub fanzines. I'd be the last one to take that away from anyone because without my art and writing I'd be lost. Ye ed made a very valid point in the editorial--the major problem to be encountered by zine eds is keeping a story under wraps for the months it takes to bring it to publication. If we are going to have successful zines, and if we are not going to have a lot of gnarbling about spending $15 or so on a bunch of stories we've already read, we're going to have to alter the 'instant gratification' mentality we've grown into. We all have one person we trust, but often (almost always in fact) that person has at least one person they trust. Voila! Geometric progression strikes and we keep the Xerox executives In Rolls Royces and zine eds in a state of perpetual hysteria. I know of at least one proposed zine that is close to folding because they can't keep their stories off the circuit no matter how much they beg, plead and threaten. And that, dear friends, is precisely why I think that zine production is going to alter the structure that has formed this fandom - we're based on the idea of instant (or as close to as makes no difference) gratification, certainly more so than in a fandom in which zines are the primary method of communication. To be fair to the people who want to publish our scribblings and to those who are going to shell out hard-earned bucks to read the stuff, we have to make sure the things we submit are worth the time and trouble and money.

• on zines and some puzzlement:

  I'm sort of confused by the whole thing, I'll admit. From the beginning, I've always been puzzled as to WHY B/D (and B&D) fandom has never produced zines, the way that S/H (and S&H) fandom has always done. I agree that it IS nice to be able to read lots of B/D stories, relatively cheaply (we all know zines are sinfully expensive) BUT -- at the same time, I've always wondered about the Pro's writers themselves. Writing something for a zine automatically assumes you'll put more effort into it, consciously produce a better product --could there be a dearth of zines in BD fandom because the writers are just lazy, and only want to have a 'good time' with their stories? Let's face it -- I'm sure we've all read some wonderfully written B/D tales, but just as many more that were DOGS, right? If more and more zines started coming out, yes, I can see the 'structure' of this fandom changing--for the better, I think! Writers WOULD continually improve, hopefully--most of all, B/D fandom, which I see as being much too 'closed' and 'exclusive' (open only to 'insiders', to those 'In the know'), would become much more open to MORE fans who might otherwise have never even heard of it. If those presently in B/D fandom don't WANT 'outsiders' to find out about our 'little world', and if that is why 'private circulation' is preferred to zines--then, I'd worry about not only the future of this fandom, but also the structure of this fandom, itself. EVERY fandom needs 'new blood', and the 'old writers' always need a chance to expand and improve, as well--and the proliferation of zines could only help that.

• more about zines, and some points are cost, democracy, and "power games":

  I confess to being a hypocrite because I am beginning to find the idea of fanzines more and more distressing, and I'm still submitting stories for them. It will be nice to have illos, and nice print, and pretty graphics; but I will miss the easy sharing and the chance to read everything. $15-20 is a bit much to be shelling out continually for zines so I shall miss out on some that way and also we will miss out on some of the less than superb stories because if you're rejected by an editor, you're not really keen on passing the story around. Frankly, I love them all, good, bad and indifferent, and I would not be happy to miss even the worst story. On the other hand, as [name redacted] pointed out to me, zines are a lot more democratic, to get one you need only to cough up the money or goods -- there are no power games to be circumvented. However, I still would have preferred to keep the network. And if this sounds like mourning for something already past, I can only say, I hope not.

• more on zines:

  ... the controversy on zines VS the circuit. I put a fanzine out in the past and will be putting out a few in the - future but not B/D. I'm for the circuit - Not totally against zines, mind you, but quite upset by the recent lack of new stories on the circuit. I can understand that writers like editing and polished stories. But the circuit is more enjoyable, cheaper and keeps the excitement fresh. I think some people who are used to zine fandoms do not realise how DIFFERENT this fandom is due to the circuit. Many fans have never seen The Professionals due to the availability only by video tapes. Some have only the stories to go by. It is not a fandom based on the show like Starsky/Hutch or Star Trek, etc. This is the only fandom where it is only the writing that is making this fandom so popular. I'm not saying the show doesn't matter because it all starts with the TV show. But in this case only, the stories are what made this fandom breathe.

• on zines:

  As for the issuing of zines in this fandom, I can think of reasons both far and against it. I agree with you when you say 'why pay for zines when you can get stories relatively cheaply on the network'. True. But how many of the stories traversing the network have been copied so many times they are just about unreadable? Another reason is that a well-presented zine is so nice in itself that I would willingly pay the extra money for it. But the most convincing argument for the zines I can think of is the artwork. You must admit that there is not nearly enough good Profs art around, and the only place I can think of to get it is in the few zines that are produced. I think I would almost kill for a portfolio of work by Casey, or Pat Cash... or Lynn Henricks. As for them changing the structure of the fandom, I cannot see enough zines being produced, or being bought, to come anywhere near upsetting the network, can you? Try to imagine the number of zines it would take to rival the 600-odd stories circulating! who would buy them all? Where would one find the money to? So, on those arguments I will buy the zines that do come out, but my main source of fiction will always be the network.

• a fan registers her fears and displeasure about RPS in the Pros fandom:

  I think... the stories, in ANY fandom, that deal with a '/' relationship between real people. It's not only dangerous, but it's the height of bad manners and bad taste as well. Consider: how would you feel if you found out that people you thought were friendly were telling stories (true or not) about your sex life? Stories that could get back to your friends and families?... We may own the characters we write about, but we do not own the actors who created them. Friends, this is libel! You may say 'I'll just deny I wrote it', but that isn't necessarily a defence...it also isn't an argument. What it is is a spoiled child saying 'I can do anything I want to and you can't stop me! This very ish I find that "Death On The 9:13 To Birkenhead" is using the names of two very real people in a very questionable way. I have to say that I'm not only surprised it would be submitted for publication, but surprised that the editor accepted it. I'm rather disappointed all the way around. It's not a humorous material. It's deadly serious. If you've got to write the stuff keep it to yourselves and if you have to share it, why not have the courtesy to change the names. You can tell everyone who these folks are supposed to be, can't you?

• on zines and art:

  Back in the days of yesteryear, there were about 6 people who traded stories here in the States (and only about 3 of them were also authors), and there was never a question of zines. Now that the fandom has become so large I think it's inevitable that we're going to see more and more zines.... As a writer it sometimes annoys me that a scene I can see so clearly in my head can't have artwork. My art resembles arthritic stick figures and any similarity to face, body, expression, etc. is purely coincidental. But I love good art. And you don't usually get it with regular 'circuit' stories. Also, on the pro's side, I always hope (yes, sometimes in vain) that a story in a zine will have been edited, worked over a little at least, and presented in a readable manner.

• one reason circuit is better, and yet, not:

  Using a library system, one can order stories (though you may have to wait your turn, which can take a while) and either read and send them back, or copy to your heart's delight. Good readable copies that don't have one or more lines from the top and bottom missing are sometimes impossible to find. Also, a lot of people have told me they resent laying out a large sum of money for a zine when they are only interested in one or two stories contained therein. Personally, I don't usually have this problem as I want EVERYTHING. The 'circuit' has what is, for me, one major flaw. I find, especially lately as the fandom has grown so quickly, that the stories don't always get passed around.

• the circuit and cost:

  One question that was raised was: Who will want to buy a zine when she can get stories from the circuit? That source isn't free, and most of us don't have a chance to browse through and decide whether we want a story. We order blindly by title and pay the postage on stuff that, when we see it, wonder why anyone wasted the time, ink and paper to write and pass it along. If it comes from K.B.'s library, we can return it, uncopied, but still have to pay postage in both directions. Then too, photocopying isn't cheap, unless you're one of the privileged few who have access to a copier at work, and can sneak in a few stories when they come. I suspect that the existence of the circuit has given North American readers access to more stories by British authors than we would otherwise have enjoyed. Only one copy of each story needs to be mailed "across the pond" to someone who will make this story available to all who wish to read it. I'm well aware of the cost of mailing something from Britain, and this is certainly the most economical way for us to get these stories.

• a fan writes of the democratic nature of the circuit:

  I think we should remember one thing: a zine is under the control of the editor(s) and their concept and ideas will be what's presented. The 'circuit' embodies the idea most of us have been preaching since the beginning, and that is 'everybody has the right to write'. Everybody who wants to should be encouraged to write, and everybody who writes has the right to write what they feel is right!

• regarding the sexual exclusivity of the characters:

  I once said to [name redacted] that I thought that other men were the greatest threat to the B/D relationship while women were the major threat to S/H and I still believe this. The reason I say it is because for B&D women are easy to come by and disposable. We see that in the episodes, I think (and how about that for a TOTQ?) S&H have always seemed more serious about their relationships with women.

• regarding the TOTQ, a response that melds "slash" and "gay":

  B/D being "exclusively gay. No, I can't really see that. I can easily see both of them as being bi, though—in fact, if going by their general personalities in other areas of their lives is any indication, I think their sexual preferences would tend to be varied. Think about it—neither man is the type to settle into a boring, 'regular' routine of any kind—both of them thrive on constant variety, both of them appear to be very restless, and to grow bored easily. Maybe I'm just generalising too much here, but with personalities like that, it would just seem likely that they'd both want as much variety in their sex lives, too. Bodie's back ground is certainly colorful and varied (he might have had his first '/' experience in the mercs) - with all the 'jumping around' he's done, from career to career, it's easy to see he's not a 'settled' sort of man. Same for Doyle. We know he had a rough youth (his first '/' encounter likely happened then), but then he made a complete change to the 'other' side of the law-then, not even being a cop was good enough for him, he was wondering about joining CI5 when he was still in uniform! So, again, we see a man who's not likely to get into any sort of 'routine' lifestyle, and I think that would carry over into his sex life, too. But with all of this, while I see them both as bisexual, I think they both DO prefer men -- which is probably one of the reasons they were initially so attracted to each other.

• a fan writes:

  As for this TOTQ, are they exclusively gay? No chance. They happen to fall in love with each other as people and partners.

• a fan sees slash as a process and "phase":

  I've also always wondered why we all seemed to skip the 'preliminary' B&D phase of writing, and went right into B/D (I'm not condemning anyone—I started out the same way!) In S&H fandom, there were TONS of 'straight' zines, and we all went through that very vital period of development before delving into S/H - why the same thing wasn't done in B/D fandom, I still can't understand. The amount of published 'straight' B&D stuff has been negligible - why? Why have most of us in this fandom just ignored that phase of development?

• on zines and the responsibility of zine editors for the end of the circuit:

  As far as editing goes, lots of zines are TERRIBLE and have little or no editing at all. One-third of the B/D I've read is better than most of the K/S I've read over the last few years. So I don't really don't think zines are the answer to that... What about editors editing, for ghods sake? Well, that's another can of worms altogether of course. But I just hope the editors of a '/' B&D [zine] realise their responsibility in the disintegration of the circuit. Unless they support it by asking their writers to support it, I don't think I can support their publications! Both can exist side by side. As I mentioned earlier I can understand why writers like the zine bit; I do too. And it is up to the authors. So why not make everyone happy and support both?

Fiction:

• The Dark Side of Eden by Sharon F
• Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, Part 4 by Mosby Singleton/Agent 3.4-1/2
• Evening Song by Morgaine
• Housewarming by Lainie Stone
• In Tandem--And So to Wake by O Yardley

Poetry:

• The Iceman Cometh by Beejay
• New Protector by Meg Lewtan
• Haiku by Agent 1000.50

Art:

• cover by Jean
• interior illo by artist who signed with a horseshoe design with a T inside it

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 7

See reactions and reviews for Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead.

See reactions and reviews for The Dark Side of Eden.

Issue 8

The Hatstand Express 8 was published in January 1986 and contains 92 pages.

The number of subscribers is 83 (Australia - 28, US - 43, UK - 9, Canada - 3). The editor writes "A LONG way from the days when I thought I'd be lucky to make 20?"

front cover of issue #8 "aka OZ SWANSONG"

back cover of issue #8, "Black Silk" is the title, the artist is "SMcC"

• this issue has no official TOTQ
• while this issue, according to the editorial in the previous issue, was supposed to have been edited solely by Sarah Leibold, it may have been a slower transition than expected as Sarah states that issue #9 is the first "U.S." one.

• the editor, Jill T., writes about her decision to hand over the reins to Leibold:

  Fandom can be an incredibly time-consuming occupation! I also consider, since her stories were the reason I got into this venture in the first place, that Meg's stories must take priority over anything else. I've now reached the stage where I simply cannot give typing and editing them the time and effort they deserve And, faced with the alternative of doing THE or her stories, I'll quite happily admit her stories won hands down. (As an aside, any of my correspondents who may not hear from me for a while--there's your reason, I'll firstly be taking what I consider to be a well-earned holiday from fandom, and then I'll be diving head first into typing the 5 stories Meg mentions In her letter in these pages--what she didn't tell you is that 3 of them are 200+ handwritten pages!) Finally, I'd like to echo 6.4's plea herein that this line should return to a happier, lighter, friendlier note--both for Sarah's sake (typing depressing letters can be a depressing occupation, folks.) and for all of us. While differences of opinion are natural and expected, the way they're handled can have far-reaching consequences - it is possible to put your opinion across using non-emotive language and without being nasty or insulting. It also doesn't hurt to give fellow fans the benefit of the doubt... we're not all setting out to deliberately offend. While for the most part I would consider my experiences with THE to be entirely positive, there have been a very few incidents that have left a nasty taste...It may be human nature (I seem to recall reading somewhere that the human brain records bad experiences far more vividly than pleasant ones), but if someone asked me for my overview of the past two years, I'd have to say: "You can't please all the people all the time, but you can offend almost anybody, anytime, without even trying."

• a fan, [J T], writes a long letter addressing the increasing number of zines in this fandom:

  The subject of zines is one I've become very concerned with...forgive me if same of the following sounds slightly hypocritical in view of the publication you presently hold in your hot little hands... though I console myself (rationalisation rearing its ugly head?) with the thought that THE isn't a zine in the full sense of the word with its "no frills" format, emphasis on letters rather than fiction and the so-close-as-to-make-no-difference postage-only price... I must admit to feeling more and more distressed by the idea [of zines]. As I mentioned in the editorial for #6, I've been very ambivalent about the issue, but my attitude has crystalised very much on the side of wishing everyone would just forget about it. One fear is that zines may destroy the network. I'm hoping not, because I think the British won't get too far into the whole zine thing... On a purely selfish level, I'd much prefer to get the whole series of little fixes on a more or less regular basis than waiting months, even years, for zines. Maybe I've been spoiled. Another major reservation I have is cost. Overseas fans are virtually priced out of the market by zines. Recently heard the final overseas price of Discovered on a Rooftop. I WON'T be ordering it. I passed the stage about two years ago of absolutely having to possess every zine ever printed in K/S and S/H.... I still refuse to calculate how much I spent before I got to that point -- the days of paying US $120 for an auction copy of Thrust are over... Though what I'd do if kind friends ever got past that stage and I couldn't read them anymore? So far the only real advantage I can see to zines is readable copy. I'm in agreement with Felicity and others here; while I enjoy some artwork, I don't need it. It's just icing on the cake. Same for poetry, graphics, pretty covers, binding, etc. It's the cake, the stories, I'm interested in. I also don't totally buy the argument that "edited" stories in zine are intrinsically superior to "unedited" network stories. The other side of the coin is that network authors aren't being restricted by deadlines. If "quality" is important to them... they can take as much time as they like... They also usually don't write in a vacuum, relying on comments/"editorial" help from their friends. [snipped] ... I can't remember (with the exception of a couple of single-story zines) the last time I read a zine I completely enjoyed... maybe %25-%50 of it at the most.... Now, with network stories, if I don't like them I can pass them on to other people, or ditch them without incurring any great loss, but with zines that's impossible. And they all take up shelf space... you keep the dross with the gold... My next point is one that surprised even me (I wonder if I'm not becoming a reactionary in my old age) but I find myself remembering some of the words of the Blue Jay Press representative who wrote to me when I first started this venture. Something about not wanting this fandom to become too "organised" and "formalised." [snipped] The lack of formality has been one of the things I've enjoyed about this fandom so far. I have a sinking feeling that zines will formalise B/D in a way a lot of us will live to regret. [snipped] I especially worry about all the other things that zines bring in their wake... viciious reviews, infighting among the "entrenched" gropups with differing "philosophies," (Cowley forbid), Big Name Fan, all the problems of zines being late, rip-off allegations, etc. As anyone who knows me can attest, from Day 1 of this venture, I've lived in fear and loathing of it degenerating into a certain type of letterzine... the last days of the original S&H letterzine being a case in point. Don't know about y'all, but that l/z scared the pants off this timid little neo...

• [J T] also has these thoughts on zines:

  It also occurs to me that maybe the whole network thing came about because of the early writers' previous experiences in other fandoms. (I know this isn't the only reason... another being that the British have more to lose, being on the spot, than the rest of us if B/D ever becomes public knowledge. As an aside, I wonder If the explanation for the lack of 'straight' stories In this fandom isn't as simple as the majorlty of B/D writers being 'graduates' of K/S and other fandoms. i.e. the market was 'pre-conditioned' for slash.) I understand some British writers In other fandoms were really dumped on from a great height by American editors...and I also wonder how much that may have to do with the defensive "they're our boys" stance adopted in some quarters of British fandom? There also seems to be a fairly widespread assumption that everyone writing fanfic is or should be trying to go pro, interested in becoming a better and better writer, want feedback on their work. What about the people who are only writing for fun, for the enterta1nment of themselves and their friends and just like 'playing' with the whole thing? Does that make their writing somehow inferior or invalid? I know, for examp1e, that a lot of the stories on the network were written quickly as birthday Christmas presents, fan party entry 'fees' and so on and their quality may or may not live up to the standard of 'zine' stories (I, for one, think the majority of network stories stand up extremely well compared with zines)...but I am still grateful for having the opportunity to read them via the network. I agree with 6.9, I want the opportunity to read them all--good, bad or indifferent. Is the network going to become the 'ghetto" for stories that don't measure up to an editor's idea of 'zine' standard (assuming the writer doesn't go completely underground if the rejection is harsh enough as 6.9 points out is a possibility), those writers who view their writing as an entertaining hobby or those who, for whatever reason, aren't interested in submitting to zines? As an idle aside -- and I know I'm opening a real can of worm's (and I know it's not true in all cases)--I also wonder how much the 'contributor's copy' syndrome does to promote the quality of zines? And how much quality editors may sometimes sacrifice to reach a set page count? One more bit of further rambling on the subject of zines 'formalising' a fandom and then I'll leave you in peace... Once you start 'selling' a product, buyers immediately assume the right to comment on content/quality/etc. I'd refer you to recent discussions in Not Tonight Spock on LOC'ing, from both sides of the fence--buyers vs editors/ authors. This is yet another source of bitterness and controversy in other fandoms and it's another inevitable by-product of zines.

• a fan, [M], writes about her conflicting feelings regarding slash:

  As you can probably tell, I'm having internal struggles about the viability of the relationship [between Doyle and Bodie]. Mind you, it could be a good sign as I have no struggles about the Kirk/Spock relationship-- I simply do not believe it is even vaguely possible. In fact, I think it is downright silly and none of the stories I have read have even scratched that belief. After months of fury about the damage done to my Kirk and Spock, I can finally read them as erotica (if not awfully good stories) but believe in them -- NO WAY.

• a fan, [E T], addresses a fan's letter in a previous issue regarding the lack of zines, and straight stories, in Pros fandom:

  The British B/D network has always been very small, both writer-wise and readership-wise...I'm not one of the very early British B/D writers -- most of them have drifted out of it -- most but not all. But of the current UK writing group I am one of the earliest and not since the beginning have I felt the need to follow any rules. From the beginning, I wrote what I felt needed writing and then what the wicked/sexy/romantic side of me wanted to see on paper, firstly to satisfy my own fantasy needs and desires and secondly to entertain my friends. This is the basis of my writing and will continue to be so, not because I think I should constantly improve (although that will probably happen anyway, since I find nearly every story a hard slog) or because I think I should produce a nice copy with no typos, perfect punctuation, perfect grammar, perfect characterisations, etc, etc. The writing so far has been informal and a lot of fun because of it. If that translates into 'laziness' in some people's books, so be it, and if you want to start organizing a 'fandom' that's okay -- you won't hear any arguments from me (and how knows, I many even have a go at submitting myself!), but please don't expect everyone to begin following that 'fandom' as if nothing else exists. There is room for all of us, working together or side by side, without one side questioning the other's long or short-term intentions or abilities.

• [E T] said:

  I find that remark that some stories are 'dogs' uncalled for and rather rude. The very informality of B/D in the UK has meant that the enthusiasts who might lack the talent to be included in zines can send their stories to friends and not be rejected or asked for rewrites, but be encouraged. Not every writer who finds her stories enjoyed by others starts at the top, you know. Far from it. Many, me included I hope, learn from early mistakes and encouragement from friends, and that informality allows it to happen without killing the person's enthusiasm and enjoyment. Without those first shaky attempts and the subsequent enjoyment gained by the authors in proceeding them and others, the circuit would be a lot thinner than it is today.

• [E T] said:

  As for there being a dearth of 'straight' stories, I think you may be right, but the UK writers haven't ignored this aspect. We've written some and if we felt the need, we'd write more. We still might. But most of us seem to be happiest writing slash. It's as simple as that. That probably goes for most American and Australian writers as well, and I see nothing wrong with that. If that's too simplistic an explanation, well, the only other thing I can come up with is that for me personally, there isn't enough between the characters in a written straight story to keep me interested. If, in an ostensibly straight story, there's a hint of what may come later, then it's a different matter.

• [E T] said:

  It would be excellent if [circuit and zine stories] could co-exist. But I wonder about those writers who'd rather not be printed in zine-form, for whatever personal, valid and respected reasons. Do they sill freely share their own work but have to pay out hard earned cash for the zines? Bearing in mind the different background behind this network, if more zines are being produced and if at the same time there are stories for the circuit only, I guess there'll have to be more give and take, maybe a little more freedom of copyright, than in other fandoms/zines. That is, unless people can accept that they might begin to miss out on some stories...

• [E T] addressed "Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead":

  Points taken and understood, although they are irrelevant, following the revelations of the last chapter, but there is a very fine line being drawn here. Is there really, honestly that much moral difference between a humorous story that contains inferred same-sex, using real names, and that of a deadly series, very sexually explicit story, using characters who were played by and who look exactly like two real people? Also, if you're going to raise objects like this, consider: this newsletter together with the majority of its correspondents, is primarily interest in the "/" aspect, yet I have seen the actors' real names printed in its covers more than once. Again, I feel it's a very find line to be so moral over.

• [Agent 6.4] comments on the previous issue:

  The first thing to hit me was the really series (almost depressing) tone of the issue. This came as quite a shock because I had gotten used to it being light, fast-paced and witty -- especially issue #6. I was amazed by the amount of criticism (and is some places threats and bitchiness) there too.

• [Agent 6.4] addressed "Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead":

  ... I think a couple of people have over-reacted. Sure, it was foolish to use the actors' actual names. Remote as the possibility is it could lead to legal problems or at least a lot of unpleasantness. I did think of that when I was reading, but I was also laughing too much at the time to get upset or angry. That is the real problem -- Agent 3.4-1/2 did too good a job with the characters for comfort. It rather reminded me of The Bullshitters and as anyone who has seen it knows, the actors themselves get unmercifully rubbished and made fun of it... At least in that they took the necessary precaution of changing the names slightly to protect themselves and the actors. Still, no one had any trouble working out who "Martin Foyle -- An Actor of Rare Genius" was.

• [Agent 6.4] misses Meg Lewtan's contributions in this newsletter:

  I couldn't help but notice the lack of Meg Lewtan stories in the last THE. If it was an experiment to see what THE would be like without any it it, I will say it made a difference. I really missed them as she has a story-telling style like no one else's and I really like it. The first story I read of hers was in Magnetism, and, along with the story by Anna Vie in the same zine, I have her to thank for kindling my interest in the Professionals in the first place.

• [Agent 6.4] scolds another fan:

  I wonder if you meant to sound as nasty as you did. Last time I saw Karen Lewis she was still ALIVE and well, still working hard, and still trying to work out why she bothered at all to try and pick up the shreds of Magnetism as it had been and see if she could at least get it printed and out to the people who had paid for it and contributed to it three years ago. It wasn't even her zine -- or her mess -- but she put a LOT of time, effort and money into making something out of one of the biggest disasters since Pompeii. By now (the Post Awful and SAL willing) you will have a copy of the zine. You will have to let us know if it was worth alienating one of this fandom's hardest-working members. I certainly hope that other Aussie fanzines won't suffer because of Magnetism. It would be foolish for anyone to condemn a whole country because of one bad zine.... I am still buying zines from the US despite the fact that I am still waiting for zines I paid for over four years ago.

• a fan writes:

  I agree with Karen and others when they condemn putting the actors into "/" stories (or any other) -- definitely bad manners and probably libel (actually, definitely libel).

• this issue contains the last installment of Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead. It also contains this story's author, Mosby Singleton, letter saying she was leaving fandom due to the reactions to her story, as well as a long address to fans and fandom. Excerpts from her flounce are on the "Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhad" page, more general comments are excerpted below... :

  I I've been involved In the US end of Professionals andam from almost the beglnning-- I started writing about the lads in November 1981, and I first heard about them In June 1981. From that beginning, when, admittedly, there were about 6 of us B/D fans around--only three of whom were writing anything, the credo has always been: Anyone's welcome, and they can write and circulate what they will. That was the great thing about Pros fandom--a lot of writers got into it in the succeeding years who'd been scared out of other fandoms by the very same sort of pontifIcatIon that's beginning to creep into B/D--we got, as a result, good writers, bad writers, and indifferent writers, but whatever their capabilities, they weren't afraid to try something different. There are no tried and true guidelines and formula for writing in this fandom--except get in there and give writing a try. If there was any dogma, it was "Thou shalt let thy imaginatIon soar ...I remember very well how hopping mad all of us here just a couple of years ago when a British someone who purported to speak (or her entire country as a whole, no less, tore several of Fanny"s stories to shreds for no grounds whatsoever, and then proceeded to say that they were an example of why no Amerlean shouId ever write about a British show; obviously, we shouId realize we were all just Ignorant barbarian colonials with no feeling whatsoever for writing a story with a true British background! The consensus of opinion then, and certainly the letter I wrote to the Brit In question, was that no one had the right to tell any of us what we could and couIdn't write. Well, Pros is "big business" now, with dozens of people producing in American, England, and Australian combined. That's an unalterable fact, though I lament the passing of the time when I literally knew, or at least heard of, everyone on the circuit. However, being a realist, I know that keeping it small was impossible, and besides, the more, I thought, the merrier. What I see passing away, though, is the sense of being a rather part, at times fractious, but always friendly, "family." That familial feeling is going, perhaps has already gone, and we are in the process of becoming intense and cliquey about it all. I think this is a mistake, though perhaps it is inevitable. I don't like it, mainly because I know of several people, talented writers all, who have deiced to either leave the fandom or shelve their writing because they don't have time for the backbiting, the game playing and the power trips that some pole have been indulging themselves in lately.... [snipped]... All of this brings me to the "Shoot First and Ask Questions Later Syndrome." That letter you wrote to someone six weeks ago hasn't been answered because they are ignoring you. The copy of the zine didn't get lost in the mail -- it's being deliberately withheld. The credit on your story was messed up by a simple human error -- the editor planned it that way -- deliberately.... It is more likely that letter didn't get answered straight away because the recipient gets home from work between 6 and 7 pm every event, and between dinner and family and errands is so wipe out that by 11 pm all she wants to do is sleep for a year.... I'm not saying that a complaint should be made -- just that it should be done when there are real and rational grounds for it. And that may mean... gasp!... asking questions!... [snipped]... Cut your fellow fans some slack, give them some breathing space and benefit of the doubt. If we aren't capable of a little benevolence toward each other, then it could well be that we are the ones who are the mundanes after all.

• [M L] wrote:

  The worth of lines versus the worth of the circuit? That's a toughie for a TOTQ If ever there was one. I'd have to vote In favour of the circuit, although my circumstances as a scribbler of words on paper have been very different to most of the other folk who contribute to it. I know that my stories have been virtually exclusive to THE but that was because Madam Ed had far more confidence in me than I did and if the wanted to risk her sanity and her good name, well, who was I to argue? As with everything else, there are good and bad points to each side of the argument and my views are col oured by my own experiences. I doubt that I wouId have had the courage to submit any of my own work to zlne editors after I began to write B/D and the circuit is the perfect medium for the exchange of stories that are really very private expressions of personal fantasies. Also, I like to categorically rebut the statement that zines contain stories of fare better quality than the circuit and have a better standard of editing. They do not. I have seen a copy of one of my other fandom's stories and it contains some twenty to thirty typos, at least two unfinished sentences and misplaced words, and this is from a very experienced editor. So much for editing. Story choice and quality vary from submission to submission and often there are things I would never read in zines i.e. the K/Ser who delights in writing explicit and vicious episodes where Kirk and/or Spock is repeated raped and abused. Fortunately for us, that syndrome has not yet reached B/D and god forbid it ever does. I simply refuse to purchase zines when this particular author's name is advertised on the flyer. Price is also a decease factor in the argument against zines, especially for those of us Down Under.... [sniped] ...I don't know whenever this point was made earlier, but has anyone ever considered just how much the circuit encourages individuality? There are no formats, no set themes, no editor's preferences. It's just write as you please, when you please, and that kind of freedom results in an infinite diversity (told you I was a K/Ser, too) of subjects and themes and the worth of individuality is demonstrated repeatedly by each hatstand I've read. So, it's up with the circuit!

• [M L] also wrote:

  The I stop to think about the last two years I find that writing for THE has taught me a few things and one of them is that someone else's ideas are always different and intriguing. I look forward to reading every new story and, although my reactions may vary, I will never say that any story should not have been written because the characters don't fit my interpretation, or I don't like the premise... [sniped] ... I have also realized that there is a definite advantage in being able to laugh at myself, and avoid taking everything too serious, especially in fandom. (Yes, I admit that I lost sight of this fact for a while, due to factors beyond my control, However my sense of humor is resurfacing with a vengeance, so watch out!) When imagination supercedes reality, trouble starts and this is to be avoided at all costs. After all, being in fandom is a hobby, not a matter of life and death, isn't it?

• [Agent 6.2] wrote about zines:

  I do not agree about zines being more democratic -- in fact they seem to me to be just the opposite. Everything depends on the editors. ONE person's opinion, and from the way things have gone in other fandoms, that can prove to be pretty bad in some cases. I think zines are inevitable now that the fandom has gotten so big, but as for being democratic -- how can they be when only the people surrounding the editor and the editor herself have a say in what's published?

• [Carla] said:

  Zines v the circuit. I must say personally I prefer the circuit, for the simple reason of cost. It's much cheaper (and easier) to get a couple of hundred photocopied pages from America or Australia, which would bo a good number of stories and doesn't invite the eagle eye of HM Customs and Excise. BeautIful as zines may be they contain only a few stories, poetry and artwork which a I though lovely I can live without, and unfortunately a lot of white paper and pretty borders. I'd prefer to see the odd zine coming out with the majority of stories being on the circuit. I've also found I enjoy reading the first drafts, or the immediate response to reading a story, often better than the end product of numerous rewrites and the final polish; often these stories have a freshness and spontaneity which the zine stories lack--I think actually that's one of the reasons I've gone of* K/S, one story reads very much like another. I also think that these stories often make people respond by trying their hand at their own story.

• [S-A H] writes:

  What about the question of AIDS, in connection with B/D? The horrible but intriguing thought occurred to me -- what if, say Bodie really suspected strongly that HE may have picked I tup while in Africa? That's not far-fetched either -- some researchers have been saying the virus may have originated from there, and I think most of us go along with the idea that Bodie had a very "active" time in Angola. Ace of Spaces, in excellent story in Discovered on a Rooftop, is the best treatment of the subject I've seen yet. What would Bodie do? Even if he just "suspected," I mean the though of of him actually HAVING it is too awful to contemplate, but anything is possible. Naturally, since his "Angola" days, we all know he hasn't been a virgin, so there are potentially many more "partners" (male AND female) who he might have infected -- however since I very romantically like to think that he's found the "love of his life" in Ray, I 'assuming he'd be just a little more upset about the possibility of having infected HIM, that he would be about everyone else he's every had sex with.

• [S-A H] wrote:

  Both men are very strong, aggressive, competitive, and demanding sorts -- I always like to picture their first coupling together as two wild-cats, fighting for dominance, and finally coming to sort of a respectful balance -- the point is, I always felt these guys needed the sort of "power and aggression," and satisfaction, that only MALE SEX could give them.

• [H G] writes of zines:

  It's obvious zines will become part of the B/D fandom; with their arrival, fandom will change. It's happening already, or is it no more than coincidence that relatively few stories have appeared on the circuit over recent months? I have seen only one B/D zine. Along with some excellent fiction and artwork came some less excellent fiction and artwork, together with some impressive white spaces: in Britain it cost over $25. Some people can afford to pay that, once or twice. As any fandom grows, so does the demand for stories, and the number of zines will increase. Yet growth and improvement are synonymous; the mere fact that a collection of fiction, poetry, and artwork will appear between two covers is no guarantee of excellence. HM Customs and Excise, by the way, love zines -- why else would they keep them to read on their tea break? Will zines encourage new writers? I wonder. I knew several people who swore they wouldn't write a word and then contributed some gorgeous work to the circuit; I believe the informality of the circuit made it easier for them to take the plunge. The only requirement has been the ability to hit a typewriter key... [snipped] ... B/D fandom has suddenly blossomed, with the inevitable teething problems given the initial lack of "system" on the circuit. I accept I might be cushioned from reality, but it seems to me that these problems are being resolved through a mixture of goodwill, hard work, generosity, and nagging. The rules of the circuit are simple: don't circulate a story that has been accepted fro a zine, use a good ribbon, leave wide margins if British (maybe that's why British fans seem so preoccupied with white spaces in zines), then share it around. If you don't have access to a photocopier, lend your original story to someone who has; you'll get it back.

Fiction:

• Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, Part 5 (the end) by Mosby Singleton
• Dog in the Manger by Meg Lewtan
• Enchanted Castle by Meg Lewtan ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka Meg Lewtan")
• The Heir by Meg Lewtan ("stolen from the desk of Brian Clemens, aka Meg Lewtan")
• Ritual Cleansing by Meg Lewtan
• The Shooting of Agent 6.2 by Meg Lewtan

Poetry:

• Two Years and Three Months by Siame
• Let Me by Siame
• Cloud Man by Sue Anne Hartwick
• Four Limericks by Meg Lewtan

Art:

• cover by [L. H.]
• inside illo "Black Silk" by SME

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 8

See reactions and reviews for Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead.

See reactions and reviews for Ritual Cleansing.

Issue 9

The Hatstand Express 9 is undated but appears to have been published in April 1986. It contains 66 pages. It is the first issue of this letterzine published in the U.S. and is under a new editor, Sarah Leibold.

front and back covers of issue #9, (front by Jean) (back by an unknown artist)

inside art from issue #1, TACS

inside art from issue #1, TACS

• the deadline for the next issue is June 15 for LoCs and April 30 for fiction
• giving just a hint of the massive amount of drawerfic and privately-circulated fiction there is, a fan mentions a crossover circuit "novella" titled "The Second Time Around", in which Starsky and Ray get together after Hutch and Bodie die in separate accidents; she also mentions a sequel to, titled "With Both Feet on the Ground," that has over 200 handwritten pages
• the TOTQ: Does Doyle perm and dye his hair?
• the editor writes:

  Welcome to the first U.S. Issue of THE HATSTAND EXPRESS... The letter section this time is quite large with a wide variety of ideas and comments - which Is great. A large portion of the section is devoted to the subject of zines In B/D fandom. Although anyone who wishes to add additional comments to the discussion Is certainly welcome to do so, I do hope we will be able to go on to other topics in future Issues. I personally don't think either side is going to convert the other, and I don't want to ever run the risk of having lively discussion degenerate into personal criticism. Again, I want to state I am not calling a moratorium on the subject. Just suggesting that we have lots of other possibilities for discussion to explore.

• a fan answers the question of why there is so little straight fiction in Pros:

  As far as straight stories go—I've been writing Pros for about five years now, and almost all of the material I've done has been straight stories. But, because in the beginning, there was practically NO market for such things, as Agent 6.2 pointed out in her History of the Circuit, people either tended to write straight stories only for their own amusement (my case), or turned to writing "/" because that's where the audience was.".

• about zines vs. circuit stories, with an emphasis on how large the fandom had grown:

  As far as the zine vs. circuit controversy goes, I would have to agree with you about voting for the circuit—its encouraged many new writers to dig in, give writing a try, and in the process have a good time! I still have the very first, story list agent [name redacted] ever sent out (to all eight of us! then comprising the U.S. circuit)—it's got 13 stories listed on it! The last one she did was over 13 PAGES long, contained upwards of 600 stories, and went out to well over 40 people. I think the problem we've run into as far as the circuit continuing— at least in its old form, is that the sheer number of people wanting stories has become so large, it would be impossible for one—or even five people, working nonstop at copying and mailing (not to mention the expense involved with copies running 5 or 6 [cents] per page and postage costs skyrocketing) to get the stories out. Towards the end of 1984, when the story list had reached its largest proportions, [name redacted] and I were doing nothing else in our spare time except copy and mail... Perhaps what will happen is that a number of small circuits will evolve, and in this way the stories will get round, new (and old) writers will continue to be encouraged and to find their feet in the circuits' completely informal, depressurized environment.

• about zine and exclusivity:

  The exclusivity of zines is a fallacy. Zines are far less exclusive than circuit stories. Anyone can buy a zine, anyone can lend it to their sister or best friend or lover or funny uncle William. But the author who sends her story out on the circuit (not the library but the circuit, which is not quite the same thing, appearances to the contrary) can say 'this story cannot go to Wyoming,' or 'you can read it but not copy it,' or 'your eyes only.' Not very friendly, eh? But it'a being done. Ask around, and then tell me that zines are more democratic than the circuit.

• regarding zines and the threat of change to some fans' influence:

  I can't understand why people are so violently anti-zine. At times, I wonder if the hostility towards zines io not a result of misdirection. Much of the hostility seems to come from older fans who are watching their fandom grow beyond them. Zines, as a symbol of the new wave, provide a convenient target. What I don't understand, beyond the fact that you don't want change, is why you object so strongly to the new wave. Many new writers have come into the fandom bringing many excellent new stories with them. Surely you can't object to that? Do you object to the supposed loss of intimacy? Did you really know everyone in the fandom or did you just have your own little circle that is now no longer quite so little? Don't you find it stimulating to have new ideas, new perspectives, new stories? S/H fandom would kill for an influx of people into their ranks such as B/D has witnessed.

• about the circuit and the land of plenty:

  The circuit is not drying up. A host of the people who entered fandom in the last year or so were faced with a huge backlog of stories. The circuit seemed almost endless. But fans with a new fandom are a little like locusts, and the backlog never lasts very long... and perhaps it seems that the circuit is dying simply because there hasn't been a new story in a couple of months as opposed to the ten every few weeks from the library. It was always like that. Mountains of stories don't just appear overnight! Ask the people who were involved from the beginning and they'll tell you that the circuit as it exists now is the result of years of writing and collecting.

• [O Y], comments on the "editing" she and another BNF do for each other:

  No one, but no one is allowed to lay a sticky finger on anything I write. Occasionally [H G] gets to read my stuff in MS but has given this up since she made the mistake of teaching me shorthand which I have adapted so much that it is incomprehensible even to her. I listen to her comments with interest and (upon rare occasions) act upon her suggestions but that is all. In return I offer a few spelling corrections (I, of course, never make such elementary errors) and a few suggestions (if the story has come to a grinding halt and she is threatening to shelve it) all of which she ignores to produce something much better of her own. If you call this editing then so be it; I do not. In any case, 90% of the time we do not get to see each other's work until it is finished, in which event neither of us would presume to suggest that the other has got it wrong. Who the hell am I to correct the likes of [name redacted]?

• [O Y], writes:

  ... to the lady(?) who brought up the idea of Bodie suffering AIDS - I defend to the last her right to write what she likes. I only say that if any one is mistaken enough to give me the story to read without warning me first I shall write my definitive story of "Bodie has piles" (a hazard of gay sex that up to now everyone has happily ignored), send free copies of it to everyone I know in the hatstand world and never write another word of fan fiction. I got out of K/S because I was sickened by some of the topics that were beginning to emerge in that fandom.

• a fan comments on the increasing size of the fandom:

  Yes, knowing everyone in a fandom is special, and its passing lamentable, but there can be gains as well as the losses because the new people bring fresh enthusiasm and talent to the field. I am disheartened to hear that the writer of two high favorites of mine, Wine Dark Nexus and Descent to Humanity won't share her other treasures with us newcomers because of the antics of a few. Sad, that.

• [O Y], writes:

  ... on the subject of zines versus the circuit - again, of course, everyone is welcome to act as they wish, which they would anyway. I don't kid myself that anything I say is going to affect world opinion, I merely wish to state that I will not write for zines as I am still waiting for some of my K/S stories to be printed and I haven't written one in over 3 years. I need feedback a great deal quicker than that and have found the circuit to be a very satisfying method if dispersal.

• on zines:

  It looks like the zine vs. circuit debate could continue ad nauseam. I am still in favour of both ways to get new B/D stories. At least zines don't have black blotches covering key words, and the tops, bottoms and edges of the type are there to be read, rather than guessed at.... One plea to the editors: If you discover that a story you were counting on printing in your zine has suddenly appeared on "the circuit", please take it out of your zine, even if this delays publication. I feel cheated to find a long-available story in a zine I'd expected to contain all new material.

• a fan comments on the uproar in the previous issue:

  I have to jump in and give my 2 cents worth over the big discussion in THE18. I haven't even read quite all the letters, and I haven't read a word of the fiction yet, but I can't stand it. I wish most of [name redacted's] last paragraph could be etched in fire in front of every fan's face when they start going on these power trips. This is not the first fandom I've seen which has lost talented writers and less talented but equally devoted writers because someone has decided to play God. Maybe it's human nature to divide into cliques and convince everyone that those "in" are superior and those "out" are dirt, heaven knows I've seen it happen often enough outside of fandom, too: and maybe it's just another example of not-really-absolute power still corrupting absolutely. But how I hate seeing it happen in B/D fandom! I've made so many dear friends all over the world through this fandom that I hate to see it hurt so that others coming in even later than I did won't know the joy I've had from it. Take this letter as another plea for toleration and politeness. Sure, many stories are crap, but this is a great place to learn, to grow, and most of all to have fun. Let's never forget the fun... Please, let's not rip the heart out of this fandom just because it's grown so much recently. It is possible to disagree with another without stomping them flat, no matter how much fun sarcasm can be.

• more on the wank about Death on the 9:13 to Birkenhead, a fan addresses the author in what is one of the few more positive comments about this story:

  I hope that by now you have had enough personally delivered supportive comments, and that this issue of T.H.E. contains sufficient "don't go" messages that you will decide to return to the "land of B&D", at least after some time to let the hurt die down. Those who wrote to criticize what they felt you were doing had the right to raise the issue, as those who wrote had very strong feelings about the issue, but some could have stated their case in a less personal manner. Until that point, T.H.E. had not been a particularly critical forum. Lists and topics have been of best and favorite types, and disagreements handled in terms of "in my universe, it's this way, not that way". Aside from a few "where's my zine" comments to the two Karens, this was the first negative splash, and I think it stood out, and "sounded" louder than it should due to the over all light tone of the zine.

• a fan suggests a way of keeping the cost of zines down for some fans:

  On overseas zine costs—The local bunch here seem to almost rotate zine purchase (at least for Pros stuff). It's not organized, as such, but normally only one person is ordering a copy initially. It spreads the cost, and lets you order your own copy if you like one well enough to have your own (and if press run permits). From what I've seen here and in one other metro area, every zine (even T.H.E.) seems to get two or three other readers per copy. It still doesn't make it as cheap as the circuit, but it does bring down the cost per reader, as long as you do not have to have your own copy of everything.

• more on zines:

  The debate over whether zines have any place in B/D fandom seems to me a little premature. There are very few on the market and they hardly form any sort of competition for the circuit. I firmly believe there is room for both methods of circulating material. I enjoy what we receive in the pool, but I'm sure others would agree that the quality of some stories being distributed (and I refer here to typing, copying, etc., not content) leaves a lot to be desired: missing lines, poor reproduction, missing pages, do not add to my reading pleasure. Thanks to the library and the work of fans who are retyping stories, the quality has improved, but I do enjoy a story that is edited, corrected, properly typed, and shown in its best, overall light—this is, in zine format. I will admit zines are pricey—much of that can be blamed on zine editors who like BIG publications, but surely fandom has room for both forms of spreading joy to us fans? Let's not forget that two sources of B/D material can only be good.

• the topic: zines:

  And now can you all stand yet another comment on the topic of Zines And The Terrible Things They're Going To Do To This Fandom? I haven't said anything about it in print yet and there are a few comments I would like to make. Yes, obviously I'm biased. I'm a zine editor - and a good one. It's what I do, my contribution to any fandom I'm involved in. I'm damned proud of the 3 issues of CODE 7 I've produced, and I expect the next 2 (including the B/D one) to live up to my high standards of what a zine should be. I've been saying this for the last year and I'm going to say it again: the circuit won't die if we don't let it. Simplistic? Yeah. But I've talked to a lot of writers about this recently, and they seem to fall into 3 categories: 1) write for the circuit only; 2) write for both the circuit and zines; and 3) write only for zines. The latter is definitely a minority, by all appearances. There is no reason we can't have an occasional zine - hopefully containing well written, polished stories with beautiful artwork - and the circuit. As several of you said, they can co-exist. They have been co-existing...zines are not new. They've been around, even in this fandom, for quite a while. And I think they are a fact of life in fandom. Any fandom. It's also a fact of life that there good zines and bad zines. We'll have our share of both, no doubt. "Let the buyer beware" works in fandom as well as in real life. Some fans have stated that they will not buy zines. Fine, that's their right. What worries me is the unscrupulous fans who will not buy zines but will read them and xerox them. Unfortunately, fans are capable of doing that, some of them. And as someone who pours sweat and blood into every zine I produce, that angers me.

• more on zines with a focus on some fans' boycott proposal:

  I'd like to say that as a writer who has in little over a year produced 15 stories - some for the circuit, some for THE. and some for zines - I am really annoyed by the arrogance of those who would deny me the outlet of zines. I'm annoyed on my own behalf because by boycotting zines. you do deny me the opportunity to have my work edited, polished, illoed, presented in an easy to read, accessible format; you also deny we. the new wave writer who may not have the priviledge of knowing everyone in this fandom, the opportunity for feedback. I'm annoyed on behalf of those who only edit, or write poetry, or do artwork. Your arrogance in saying you'll boycott zines would deny those creative individuals an outlet; you would deny their right to contribute to B/D fandom, to express their viewpoints and love of B/D in mediums other than stories. It is the height of arrogance to say you only want stories. Fandoms such as B/D exist because creative people willingly ahare their talents to put your fantasies on paper. If you deny one segment of the creative community, you in effect denigrate the value of all creative efforta; you pass judgment on people's contributions before they've even been made.

• regarding zines and no frills:

  I'm not sure how many 'overseas readers' have seen recent British zines in S&H and Trek fandoms, but you'll find they're still photocopied or gestetner, little artwork and what there la simple line drawings, and the cost is relatively low. Much as I enjoy seeing the super looking American zines - few people in Britain anyway can afford them. I'm afraid the most important thing to me is reading the fiction not looking at the beautiful borders etc. I would rather see more no frills zines with an occasional 'special' than the other way round.

• one why one may write slash:

  Re: the reasons behind writing "/". I've also been reading S/H for years, but in the case of B/D I know that a large part of the attraction for me—aside from the sheer eroticism—is that I myself fancy Ray (LUST after Ray, actually!)—I obviously can't do anything about that, but through BODIE—I can! I think that fits in very well with [the] "Bodie-Sue" or "Doyle-Sue" theory, doesn't it?

• on zines and the circuit:

  What too many people are not taking into account with this zines vs. the circuit business, is that we are all spoiled. When most of us cane into this fandom there was a great backlog of stories out there - about 200 when I discovered it and about 700 now. Once we had gone through what was immediately available things slowed down. Sure, it was lovely to get 10-20 stories at a shot on a regular basis - and people are still doing that. The circuit isn't going anywhere. There are too many people who simply will not let it! And if the various authors are determined to keep it going, then we have nothing to worry about. Zines can - have - and should co-exist with the circuit. I think in this case we can have our cake and eat it too...perhaps not as often as we would like, but new flavours are constantly coming out.

• a fan writes of:

  the Library, ot the Monster That Ate My Living Room. Would you believe I have almost 70 subscribers??? I'm not sure I believe it. Apparently it's a roaring success, and I'm very grateful to all thoae who have participated and have helped by re-typing. The February List will be ready to go out by the time you read this, and all of you who subscribe should be getting your copy soon. I'm trying to start listing authors on the Lists, so the subscribers (especially the new fans) can ask for stories by their favorites, and will be going by the Lists printed in THE [The Hatstand Express] for the most part. If any author wishes a different pseudonym, or sees a mistake in the List, please bring it to my attention! Also, there are several stories I've received lately but have not gotten permission to loan them out via the Library as yet.

• a fan writes:

  Slash is a lovely word, isn't it? We all know what it means, and we don't have to say gay, or homosexual, or any other self-limiting word. Leave it to fandom!!

Fiction:

• One Night in Bangcock by [Sharon F]
• Soliloquy on Snow by Elaine Holden
• War Games by Meg Lewtan

Poetry:

• Twilight by Sue Anne Hartwick

Art:

• front cover by Jean
• inside illos of Bodie and Doyle respectively by TACS
• back cover drawing of Doyle [artist name illegible]

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 9

See reactions and reviews for One Night in Bangcock.

See reactions and reviews for War Games.

See reactions and reviews for Soliloquy on Snow.

Issue 10

front cover of issue #10, Jean

back cover of issue #10

inside art from issue #10, Ruth

The Hatstand Express 10 was published in 1986 and has 48 pages.

• the deadline for next issue is October
• the TOTQ: How do fans reconcile the two different statements by Doyle of how long he and Bodie have been together with how how long he's been active with CI5
• there is quite a bit of discussion on whether Doyle perms his hair, and if yes, why?
• Huggy Award winners are listed
• The editor asks: In regarding to the Huggy Awards:

  Should material that has been available on the circuit/through the library, then is published in a zine, be eligible for awards such as the HUGGYs in a "Zine" classification? Do you feel it matters at all? What do you think?

• fan asks writers to let her know if their zine fic can be added to the Library. She's asked and asked:

  ...but I've heard zip on any of the other stories. Either the authors don't read THE [The Hatstand Express] or don't give a damn - whichever, it puts me and everyone using the Library (over 80 fans now) in a bind. People want to read these stories... As a zine ed myself, I have a horror of putting in-print stories in the Library, but someone has to tell me whether or not they are in or out of print!

• a fan responds to another:

  Thank you for saying everything I've been wanting to say about this zine/circuit thing. You said it all a lot more eloquently than I ever could've. I've got my own view of the so-called "zine boycotters" - I see them as a group of spoiled children, children who've had use of a private and exclusive "playgroud' - and now they don't want to let the "new kids" in to play. It all seems so petty and ridiculous to me. I, too, resent those who say they "only" want to read stories -- thanks to the zines so far, I've gotten some beautiful B/D art that I never would've seen otherwise, and as far as poetry goes—I know I'm no great "poet", far from it, but since I don't feel my own B/D stories are good enough for any zine, my poems are the only real "contribution" I feel I can make to the fandom. I've got poems in most of the upcoming B/D zines, and if not for those zines, I really wouldn't have any "outlet."

• a fan writes:

  I am a zine person owing to the fact that I came into PROS fandom from another fandom. But I love the ideas of the libraries and the circuit. I do not think that zines are the only way to go... I am fascinated by the zine vs. circuit exchange and I understand that this has been discussed at much length. But I do have a two pence worth. I came into fandom originally as a STAR WARS buff when that fandom was already well established with zines, so that is my orientation, and indeed expectation, when it comes to a fandom... Second, I do not believe in the slash relationship for my universes or in any of my writing. But I read everything, enjoy most of it on some level, and think some of the best B&D fiction there is works from the slash premise.

• a fan writes:

  The exclusivity and lack of democracy [of zines] comes from the fact that while one can simply put a story out onto the circuit and have it be distributed far and wide -- if the author wants it to be so distributed; the fact is, in reference to your #9 comment that '...anybody can lend it to their sister or best friend or lover or funny uncle William...', if you don't have the right sort of 'connections' to borrow the zines from and you don't have the bucks, you can't get a zine. In addition, if you write a story, even a GOOD story, and it, for some reason, doesn't fit the zine ed's view of the universe, it'll get rejected; if it doesn't fit the theme of the zine, it'll get rejected; and if it isn't that good a story, it'll get bumped too. At least, with the circuit, the first timers and the stories that are, sometimes not quite zine quality, get an outing. These are the things, that to my mind... make the circuit (and the Library) more democratic and less exclusive that zines will ever manage to be.

• a fan weighs in on the zine/circuit discussion:

  When did anybody actually say they were going to boycott anything, let alone zines??? Have I missed something???... Since when is making the personal decision to NOT buy something (whether a zine or whatever it may be) such a big deal?? Either one wants all the nice zine extras and has the $ to buy them, or one does not. I also take exception to the notion that very few oldtimers are writing for zines. In the last couple of months, I have seen zines advertised containing stories and/or artwork by Fanny Adams, Lainie Stone, Meg Lewtan, Pam Rose, Ann Carr, [Jean C.], TACS, Willis, E.J. Pellham-Steward, to name only a handful, and those are ALL Old Time PROS people who got their start on the circuit, when the circuit was new... In any event, I agree with the Ed, the argument over zines is moot. Obviously, they are here, they have been here for a long time (Impact has been out of Britain for years), and they are not going to go away. So, relax and read whatever it is you enjoy!

• another fan writes:

  Zines are more democratic in that anyone who has the money can buy the zines; however, they are also less democratic because what is published is subject to the individual whims and policies of the editors. What you see on the circuit is dependent on 'for your eyes only' and 'read but don't copy', etc., but then those who don't wish others to read their stories don't send them to zines either. A zine doesn't spring forth by osmosis. What has always concerned me about the circuit, though, has been the potential for a resurgence of the cliques and "play by my rules" power games that were here in the early days. I do not wish to see that.

• a fan changes her mind:

  My former position in the zines vs. circuit debate was: I enjoy both sources of stories for different reasons and hope that both would continue indefinitely. Not any longer. I just discovered that despite the variously worded statements on the first page of most zines which say that the zine is produced for fun and not profit, this is not the case. I do not object to editors making a small profit—certainly better than taking a loss, and anyway, the money would likely be ploughed back into some fannish activity. I do object to profiteering by greedy fans who buy zines, then attempt to re-sell those zines at double or triple the original cost—even before the zine is out of print. I have been aware of this situation in the Trek and Starsky & Hutch fandoms. It is now happening with The Professionals. At least we have a choice in this fandom; editors don't need to labour so that someone else will profit. The circuit exists. Unfortunately, this is of no use to the poets and artists, but I'm sure that won't trouble those individuals who are the cause of this situation.

• a fan responds to another:

  I want to comment on your statements about xeroxing. Personally, I find nothing wrong in doing it as it's not illegal by any means, contrary to many fans misapprehension and ignorance on legal matters. Secondly, the sole reason for it is because people want to read the stories when they are unavailable. Most people buy a zine. Who would want to copy it when it costs less to purchase it? Now, with B/D we have the perfect way to get rid of this problem. After Cat Tales is sold out, why not put it out on the circuit? it would do away with the xeroxing at the moment and the big problem of the zine being resold at much higher prices. It won't affect your sales because a zine is better when it comes to quality. I've had to recopy many of my stories over a 2 year period but I have 10 year old zines that look brand new. You pay for what you get I always say.

• a fan finds the circuit zines to be an expensive way to deal with fiction:

  As far as postage is concerned, the circuit is pretty bloody expensive by comparison to zines, and since copying costs 10 cents a page, your 200 pp of stories, airmailed out, are going to set you back up to—$25 to borrow them, by airmail, $20 to copy them, and about $25 to send the originals back to the library. That's $65 for 200 pp of large print. Think of it as 140,000 words. A zine would cram that into 100 pp and mail it out on just 50 sheets of paper for bickies—so, of course, zines have a place in this fandom, even if it's only saving money for those of us who are getting ripped to shreds by the costs of airmail!

• regarding feminine/masculine and characterization:

  I've seen comments about Doyle being made over-feminine in B/D stories, from time to time, but I seldom see this in any of the reasonably good writing (meaning a large majority of it) on the subject. I suppose it depends on what a given reader interprets as stereotypically feminine, and my own interpretations are probably colored by my idea that very few behaviors are intrinsically male or female outside of cultural training. Still, we and the fictional setting of CI5 share a good many cultural preconceptions—but how accurate are they? Doyle is often shown as a manipulator, who can read people and handle them easily. He's also more controlled, less spontaneous, in his usual manner than Bodie is. These are psychological rather than physical qualities (or skills) and so might be considered feminine. However, self-control and people-handling are also required of any marketeer or leader, or detective, which hardly makes them female-only traits. Doyle is, if anything, the harder-edged personality of the two, more ruthless, a characteristic which is occasionally attributed to women but seldom as an aspect of femininity. Doyle is physically the smaller of the pair, granted, but someone has to be if they're not identical twins! Let's not make differentiation into a whole characterization. Then there's all that hair, and Doyle's undeniable tendency to move with what has variously been called grace, sex-appeal, or just plain flaunting. Body-consciousness is something we type as feminine, perhaps, but I think most of us see Doyle as more attractive and more noticeable as a man because of it. It works toward making the viewer aware of him, as a subtle form of aggression. This being virtually the only form of aggression which is traditionally allowed women (and not too "ladylike" or very "feminine" women, at that), it may serve to push Doyle toward being perceived as feminine. In the balance, however, the comment 3.4*3 makes, that Doyle is a fully-realized character, comfortable with traits thought stereotypical of the opposite sex (as well as comfortable with him self as a man), seems most accurate, he's a strongly-drawn personality, and only by the most artificial stereotype of a man as all brawn, no brains, no finesse, could Doyle be seen as not masculine overall.

• a fan, one who is mainly a gen and het fan, writes:

  One finale word and I'll let all of you get on with your topics. Regarding zines both "/" and straight: if the plot is the essential part of the story, I don't care whether the guys go for each other, or the bird of the moment. Plot, children, a good story sells me on a zine/story, not a mass of sexual exploits that no gay or straight could accomplish without injury to himself.... Both DISCOVERED IN A GRAVEYARD and CAT TALES have met that requirement, as well as some of the stories in the library, my personal favorite at this point in time (only about twenty read) being "Wine Dark Nexus.

• a fan wants to know why Doyle is more whumpable:

  I've only read about two hundred plus stories, and only a few of those seem to deal with danger, either physical and/or psychological, to Bodie. Most seem to be "get Doyle" stories. Unless it's drastically different in the stories I've yet to read it seems that Ray is in for a lot of anguish. What is it that makes Ray fair game for most writers, makes him the target for most of the beatings, rapes, torture, illness more so than his partner? Is he somehow weaker than Bodie, more in need of protection or does he just suffer with more style than Bodie? Or is it a plot device to learn more about Bodie through Doyle's suffering? Bodie is usually so reserved, it would be nice to see him loosen up more.

• a fan sees a downside to zines:

  Jeepers, where do they all end up!?! What are the chances that one will end up on Mr. Shaw's or Mr. Collins' doorstep? And what would said Shaw and Collins think?! I can't decide if they'd have a fit or just collapse laughing. I know that Shatner and Nimoy were (made?) aware of the K/S zines l-o-n-g ago (that's a relationship I just can't see, personally not like S/H and B/d which are obvious progressions of the on-screen characterisations, but, what the hell?), and came to terms with the idea that there's a bunch of loony females out there who have the darndest fantasies and type quite well, and are not bad with art pens and staplers.... Hopefully, Martin and Lewis would see the funny side of it, maybe shudder, maybe giggle, and turn a blind eye. Hopefully.

Fiction and an article:

• Maybe, poem by Sue-Anne Hartwick (22)
• I'll Come Alone by Jessica Wentworth (32)
• My Cousin Raymond by Jane of Australia (24) (part of the Rainy Days Universe)
• The Circuit by Agent 6.2 (29)
• Love in a Combat Zone, poem by Jean Chabot (31)
• Crash Diet by Meg Lewtan (34)
• Love in the Shadows by Sharon F (46)
• The Video Connection, article by M.J. Ritter (48)

Art:

• front cover illo of Bodie and Doyle by Jean
• inside illo of Doyle by Ruth
• back cover illo of Bodie by horseshoe with T inside it

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 10

See reactions and reviews for My Cousin Raymond.

See reactions and reviews for Crash Diet.