Shore Leave (US convention)/2000

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Convention
Name:	Shore Leave (US convention)
Dates:	July 2000
Frequency:
Location:	Baltimore, Maryland
Type:
Focus:	multi-fandom
Organization:
Founder:
Founding Date:
URL:
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Shore Leave is an annual fan-run convention that takes place in Baltimore, Maryland, USA.

wraparound cover of Shore Leave #22, Tye Bourdony

It was founded by the Star Trek Association of Towson which continues to run it. The first convention took place in 1979; the con was still running as of 2025.

The con's focus was initially on Star Trek, but it has since broadened to include other science fiction media.

2000: Shore Leave 22

The co-chairs were Kett Kettering and Marilyn Mann.

The 40-page program book wraparound cover is by Tye Bourdony.

Guests were Howard Weinstein, Marjean Holden, Lawrence Montaigne, Joan Winston, Jacqueline Lichtenberg, Denise Crosby, Gerrit Graham, Claudia Christian, Jesco Von Puttkamer, Tye Bourdony, Ann Crispin, Roberta Rogow, Keith R.A. DeCandido, Michael Jan Friedman, Richard Herd, and Peter David.

Guest Changes: As always, there are a few changes from our earlier schedules. Mark Goddard and Marj Dusay had to cancel because of personal and professional commitments. We are pleased, however to introduce Marjean Holden of Crusades, and Lawrence Montaigne from Star Trek TOS. This is Lawrence's first convention, so let's all give him a warm Shore Leave welcome!

A memorial celebration of the life of Marion McChesney will be held on Sunday from 11:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. in the McCormick Suite. All are welcome.

From the program book:

Twenty-two years ago a small group of Trek fans decided

to put on Shore Leave, a small convention devoted to their passion, Star Trek. Some said that they had to be crazy. Was it crazy to put on a convention for a cancelled TV show? Maybe....

Was it crazy to think that Jesco von Puttkamer from NASA would be interested in coming as a speaker? Well, maybe ....

After a few years the small group had increased the size of their committee. They decided to invite Trek actors to what had become a modest little convention. Were they crazy to ask? Maybe a little....

While at the convention they decided that some of them should sing songs with the lyrics changed to Trek themes. This singing is called Filk. Crazy? Perhaps....

They decided to have a contest to see who had the best costume. Was this crazy? We don't know....

They wanted the opportunity to gather in small rooms and debate who's better - Kirk or Spock? Some said that they're better "together". Crazy? You be the judge....

The convention volunteers were told that they would get no pay, have no time to see the celebrity guests, work all weekend without breaks, and have to pay for their own hotel rooms. In exchange they wouldn't have to pay admission to the convention. Of course, they wouldn't be able to SEE the convention. Were they crazy to agree to this? Most definitely....

It was decided that the convention should embrace the concept of IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations). They would welcome everyone at Shore Leave. It wouldn't matter if you were black, white, brown, yellow, green, blue, Vulcan, Klingon, or Romulan. In more recent years others were invited to join including, but not limited to Trill, Ferengi, Artificial Lifeform, Betazoid, Bajoran, Cardassian, Talaxian, Ocampan, El-Aurian, Founder, Centauri, Nam, and some, but not all, Borg. All the different cultures, religions, shapes and sizes came together for one great weekend long party. Was this crazy?

Yes all of these things are crazy. But why be mundane and miss out on all of this fun? We are still crazy after all these years and we wouldn't have it any other way!!!

2000: Programming

• Showcase: Con Play: "TrekFanatic" ("Satiric Park presents The Not Ready For Paramount Players in 'Trek Fanatic' Baltimore's own parody troupe has produced over thirty shows (lately under almost that many names!), including 'Fandom at the Opera,' 'My Fan Lady,' and 'The Little Half-breed.' Names may change, but the quality never seems to vary. (We didn't say it was good quality, we just said it didn't vary!) This year we present our 33rd convention showcase, one of our most ambitious efforts to date, 'TrekFanatic'. It seems there's this Trek Cruise ship, which they say is unsinkable, on its maiden voyage. Suddenly, it slams into... well, now, that would be telling, wouldn't it?") (see for more information on the con's skits in general)
• Showcase: Con Skit: Opening sketch: “The Sith Sense,” Episode MST-ed: TOS: “The Paradise Syndrome” by Mystery Trekkie Theater (see for more information on the con's skits in general)
• Writing Fan Fiction Sans Mary Sue ("How to avoid some of the common pitfalls found in fan fiction. Hosted by Ann Zewen and Orion Press.")
• Sulu and the Excelsior ("Should Trek go "back to the future"? Do the fans really want a series/movie with Captain Hikaru Sulu and his starship, Excelsior? David Brewer, Randy Hall, Lorenzo Heard.")
• Roswell That Ends Well ("Where can the storyline go? Wayne Hall.")
• Crushes: Which Characters Give You Shivers? ("'Fess up! Sometimes we watch to stimulate more than our intellects! Let's dish our faves! Elizabeth Gorman.")
• LEXX Education ("Can a dead man, a sex slave, a robotic head and a former second-class courier make a difference in the universe, or will they blow up every planet they encounter? Wayne Hall, Lorenzo Heard, Stella Sutkiewicz.")
• Janeway/Chakotay: The Best Command Team Since TOS? ("Does this team share the best command chemistry since classic Trek? Why? Why not? Olivia Jackson.")
• From Yar to Sela ("The many faces of Denise Crosby. Randy Hall, Lorenzo Heard.")
• No More Now and Again? ("Will it return on another network? What will happen to Michael Wiseman and his family? Let's talk! Randy Hall, Wayne Hall, Justine Randt.")
• Stargate SG-1: The Gou'ald, the Bad and the Ugly ("Stargate SG-l has interesting plots, believable characters and a mythology that works. Can they keep it fresh? Randy Hall, Wayne Hall, Marc Villa.")
• How Should Voyager End? ("How should Voyager spend it's final season? Lorenzo Heard, Abby Lindstrom.")
• Farscape: Zhaan With The Wind ("Let's talk. Stephannie Baldau, Joan Winston, Annie White, John White.")
• The Internet's Influence on Trek ("How is this powerful communications medium affecting Star Trek and it's fandom? Geordi Padovan, Zachary Zulkowski, Alex Rosenzweig.")
• Keith R.A. De Candido & Bob Greenberger ("What's Coming in Books and Comics? A preview from the guys who know.
• Babylon 5 Remembered ("What did we like best: What do we miss the most? Could the magic ever be repeated? Michael Schilling, Annie Wheeler.")
• Keith R.A. De Candido & Bob Greenberger ("What's Coming in Books and Comics? A preview from the guys who know.")
• Masquerade 101 ("Learn what to expect ifyou plan to enter this year's competition. Learn the nitty gritty and general costuming information as well. Bring your questions!")
• Presentation 101 ("Award-winning costumers will be on hand to share tips on presenting that costume. Need some help for this year's presentation? Helpful suggestions are free of charge!")
• Masquerade Critique ("Find out how and why the judges made their choices at last night's Masquerade.")
• Costuming on the Cheap ("You shouldn't have to take out a second mortgage to finance a costume! Learn some penny-saving tips from the experts or come and share your own!")
• Is X-Men a Marvelous Movie? ("Will the X-Men be faithful to the comics? Or will it crash and burn as many Marvel movies have done before? Randy Hall, Wayne Hall, Dave MacPherson.")
• EFC: Zo'or Loser? ("Gene Roddenberry's Earth: Final Conflict is undergoing big changes next season. Who is staying? Going? Wayne Hall, Annie White, John White.")
• If You Had Seven Days.... ("What would YOU change in the last seven days? How might it affect your life? The world? Blair Learn.")
• Stargate SG-1 ("An open forum on this fandom phenomenon. Nancy Hunter, Judy Fabina.")
• Farscape ("Is it "Muppets in Space" or the best new sci-fi show to come along in years? Mike Schilling, Marianne Glad, Nancy Hunter, Barbara Kelley, Mary Anne Espenshade.")
• First Wave: Then Say Goodbye ("Come discuss this show about paranoia, the paranormal, and a pair of guys fighting foes who can look like anyone as they infiltrate all levels ofsociety. Wayne Hall, Lorenzo Heard.")
• After Voyager, Another Series? ("Do we want more Voyager? Geordi Padovan, Mike Schilling, Zachary Zulkowski, Andrea Marie Mueller, Olivia Jackson, Alex Rosenzweig.")
• The Thrillogy is Gone ("Will The Pretender, Profiler and The Others turn up again? Stephannie Baldau, Justine Randt, Annie White, John White.")
• Klingon Feast with Richard Herd ("Join L'Kor and the Imperial Klingon Battle Fleet for a Klingon Feast on Friday evening in "Frankie & Vinnie's". Singing, Klingon Poetry, Humor, Weapons and Fun are on the menu, as well as a variety of exotic alien dishes. There is nothing else like it. Click here for more information and the registration form for the Klingon Feast.")
• Roddenberry's Andromeda ("Gene Roddenberry is becoming the hardest working dead guy since Elvis! His latest stars Kevin (Hercules) Sorbo and a cast of aliens making the universe safe for "the Federation"! Let's speculate! Randy Hall, Wayne Hall, Lorenzo Heard.")
• X-Files: Where's Mulder? ("Will this be the last season--again? Will Scully get a new partner? What about the The Lone Gunmen and the spin-off show? Randy Hall, Lorenzo Heard, Annie White.")
• Buffy and Angel and Reilly: Oh My!! ("Relationships in the world of Sunnydale and L.A.-- and where they should--or shouldn't go! Marianne Glad, Holly Love, Cher Schleigh.")
• David Batchelor - Science Programming: The Lifecycle of Stars
• Kirk Borne - Science Programming: Cosmic Train Wrecks: Hot Galaxy Collisions
• Helen Hart - Science Programming: The Sun's Neighbors
• Leslie Katzel - Science Programming: Longevity
• Mario Livio - Science Programming: Beauty and the Accelerating Universe
• filk (Roberta Rogow, Greg Baker, the Denebian Slime Devils)

2000: Gallery of Ephemera and Samples from the Program Book

• 

  from the 2000 program book

• 

  from the 2000 program book, tribute to Marion McChesney

• 

  from the 2000 program book

• 

  from the 2000 program book

• 

  from the 2000 program book

• 

  from the 2000 program book

2000: General Con Reports

[...]

We woke up bright and early and got breakfast. I had my cel phone with me, waiting for a call from our very own Lynn, who would be meeting us at the convention. We got ourselves registered for the convention and started going over the schedule, trying to figure out what panels we would go to. Nothing was open yet, so we just sort of wandered around until...

10AM: Farscape Panel: For those who don't know, Farscape is an original SF show on the Sci Fi Channel. It has some distinct similarities to Space Cases: it's a crew full of misfits of different races on an alien living ship a long way from home, most of them hoping to get home and learning to live and work with each other. The room wasn't actually set up for the panel when we showed up, with splinter-covered tables with no tablecloth scattered around the room, and very few chairs. It took us a little while to get things organized. A few pieces of interesting gossip about the show that came up (which, like all gossip, may or may not be true): 1) The second season was late because of Star Wars II -- Lucas decided to film in Australia, and the only studio in the country that was big enough to accommodate him was the one where Farscape films. Oops! So the studio kicked Farscape out. When Lucas found out about what happened, he reached into his deep pockets and ponied up the money to build them a new studio. 2) Creation Conventions pulled a slimy one. For those who don't know, Creation is a company that runs science fiction conventions all over the country. They do it purely for profit, not for the love of the medium, and their conventions are about as cold and heartless as you would expect from such a source. But they get all the big-name stars, because they've got the big bucks, so they tend to squash the fan-run conventions. Many people in the SF community refer to them as "Cretin Cons" both because of the people who run them and the kind of people who tend to go to them. Anyway, word is that a group of fans decided to create the world's first Farscape convention in St. Louis, put the money down to reserve a hotel, and a week after they announced it on the Internet, Creation announced that they were having a Farscape convention the same weekend in Los Angeles, and that they were going to have EVERY member of the cast there. Slimy. The fan-run convention may have to declare bankruptcy. Rumor has it that when the cast found out about what happened, two of them burst into tears.

[...]

11AM: Nothing really big going on, so I spent some time talking to Lynn and cruising the dealer's room a bit. My favorite things in the dealer's room are Nancy Leibowitz's calligraphic buttons (I could spend hours reading them) and a guy who has a lot of exotic stuffed animals (there is a red panda finger puppet beside my computer monitor that I got from him). After a while, Lynn went off looking for some other friends. I was going through the buttons, trying to find some for my co-workers. For Ken in Technical Support: "Will answer stupid user questions for food." For Ron in tech support: "What part of NOT SUPPORTED didn't you understand?" For Lori the schedule manager: "I love deadlines. They make such a nice whooshing sound as they go by." For me (training director): "Experience is a lousy teacher. It gives you the test first and the instructions afterwards." I got to talking with Nancy, and the next thing I knew, it was 12:15PM. Oops! The Peter David panel started at noon! Gotta run....

When I arrived in the Belmont Room 15 minutes late, the room was packed. Literally. The room was far too small, and had a large table in the back. It was standing room only and way too close for comfort, because SF fans are not known for personal hygiene. When I arrived, Peter was doing a reading from his forthcoming book, Apropos of Nothing. He's been talking about this one for a while now, because he's been having a hard time selling it. It's not a Star Trek novel, and Peter is mainly known for writing Trek novels. The publishers who were willing to publish it were going to pay him as if he were a first-time novelist, arguing that Trek readers only read Trek novels (loud groans of disagreement from the audience full of Trek readers as Peter said this). But he finally got Simon and Schuster to pick it up and pay him properly. Keep an eye out for this one, it sounds like a lot of fun. It's a fantasy novel set in a medieval period and it's full of puns: it's the story of a young squire named Apropos who is squire to Sir Umbrage, and it sounds like it's going to skewer the stereotypical notion of chivalrous knights. Parts of it reminded me a bit of Don Quixote. In fact, there was even a knight named Sir Vantes (ie, Cervantes, the author of Don Quixote). He said he wants this book to do well so he can go [obscene gesture] to the people who said that his fans wouldn't buy his non-Trek novels.

Peter talked about seeing the movie Galaxy Quest with other Star Trek authors and similar type people and they all loved it. The scene that seems to have most stuck with him was the one where the fanboys go onto the Internet and download the ship's specs.

[...]

1PM: Gerrit Graham speech -- Gerrit was one of the headliners of this convention. Most recently, he's been working on Now and Again, the show where John Goodman's brain is implanted in a Superman-like body. That series was recently cancelled, and he spent a lot of time talking about that. A lot of it was painfully reminiscent of Space Cases, in that petty network politics seemed to be involved and the suits didn't seem to know what a good product they had on their hands and didn't allow it to live up to its potential. His most interesting comment, "Show business is a lot like government, but show business is better because sometimes show business makes money; government never does."

2PM: Denise Crosby speech -- Denise was originally known to fans as Tasha Yar (and her daughter Sela) from Trek's Next Generation, but more recently she is known for her work producing Trekkies, a documentary about Star Trek fandom and convention culture. It was interesting to hear the fans' reactions to Trekkies: about half of them loved it and thought it was an accurate portrayal; about half thought that it focused too much on the weirdos (e.g., "slash" fanfiction -- explicitly sexual fiction that usually involves same-sex relationships between major characters on a series). I'm definitely going to have to rent that movie... She talked about the movie Galaxy Quest and the similarities between that movie and Trekkies (although GQ was fiction while Trekkies was fact). She said that the re-writers of GQ attended a screening of Trekkies to get ideas and to help them understand the fan culture. She also said that Alan Rickman (the Shakespearean actor who played an alien on the fictional TV series) reminded her of Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard).

3PM: Claudia Christian speech -- for some reason, I don't have much in the way of notes on her lecture. Claudia played Ivanova on Babylon 5. She's very different in person than her character: very goofy and funny, and quite crude in her humor. Maybe that's why I don't have much in the way of notes: I'm not sure how much of it was appropriate. I have some notes about her talk on Sunday afternoon, which I will reproduce there.

4PM: Buffy and Angel panel: A fan discussion of last season's Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel series. Everybody was pleased about the smooth transition that the Buffy series made to college life, opening up whole new dramatic ideas like the Roommate from Hell and the first beer bash. Fans were ambivalent about the season finale. I was surprised at how many Angel fans there were there. I always thought Angel was generally inferior to Buffy, but many people thought it was better than Buffy. Most thought it was a mistake to get rid of Doyle, although some liked what they've done with Westley. There was some speculation about the real reason for Doyle's departure, but most of it was contradictory. Suffice it to say, nobody actually believed the story that the show was spreading around: that they intended to kill off Doyle from the very beginning.

5PM: Whose Trek is it Anyway. A group of fans doing improvisational comedy based on Whose Line is it Anyway, but with a science fiction theme. There is an old saying, "Dying is easy; Comedy is hard" and this panel proved it by dying instead of doing comedy. The people on this panel are amusing people, but I don't think they realized how difficult improv is, and most of it fell flat. In fact, some of the most amusing things were simply the ideas suggested by the audience. For the A-Z sketch (where they do a scene and each line has to start with the next letter of the alphabet): an audience member suggested that they have Qui Gon Ginn and Obi Won Kenobi arguing about whose light saber is bigger. When they got to Film and Theater styles, and the moderator asked for a suggested situation, a person in the doorway said, "I'd like to see Chuck in the Green Room at 7:10." No, this wasn't actually a suggested situation; it was a member of the convention committee who wanted Chuck to be in the Green Room at 7:10. Still, it probably would have been funnier than some of the stuff that they did. Lynn and I sat through about 40 minutes of this before we gave up.

[...]

We planned to get back by 8PM for the Masquerade (costume contest), but we were running late. This turned out to be a good thing, because the masquerade was also running late. Masquerades always run late, but this one was pushed even later with a half-hour memorial tribute to an important member of the Baltimore fan community who died recently.

9PM: The masquerade started. Peter was one of the judges. When he was announced and came out on stage, he called out "Never give up!" to which the audience all replied "Never surrender!" (it's a Galaxy Quest thing--if you haven't seen the movie, rent it. NOW!)

Some of the more amusing costumes from this masquerade: Renaissance Barbie, complete with her box, which talks about the companion dolls: Christie the Moore, Monk Ken and baby sister Typhoid Skipper. There was also a great little skit based on Star Wars, in which young Anakin is caught between the two opposing forces in his life: the Jedi (singing to him "In the Jedi," based on the Village People's In the Navy) and the Sith (singing "S-I-T-H" to the tune of the Village People's Y-M-C-A). The judges got so into the performance that the started doing the hand gestures for Y-M-C-A. This was one of the bigger masquerades I've ever seen -- over 45 entries.

While the judges were making their decisions, a comedy troupe called Luna-C did a few sketches. My favorite sketch was a sort of crossover parody of Voyager and the movie In and Out. If you've ever seen In and Out, there is a hilarious sequence where the main character buys an audio tape to teach him how to be a "real man." In this parody, B'Elanna Torres is listening to a tape on being a "real Klingon."

Tape: Repeat after me: Kill them all!

B'Elanna: Kill them all!

Tape: Fire all phasers!

B'Elanna: Fire all phasers!

Tape: Let's be reasonable and make a treaty.

B'Elanna: Let's be reasonable and make a treaty.

Tape: That was a trick.

You get the idea. The ultimate test (in In and Out, it was listening to disco music without dancing) was to stand in a pile of tribbles and not pet the cute furry things. Suffice it to say, B'Elanna failed.

They also had a drawing for a charitable raffle. They called out the numbers and told everybody to check their tickets. They just forgot one minor detail: they didn't turn on the lights, so nobody could see their tickets! After a few minutes of everybody shouting "lights!" they got the picture and turned them on. Nobody in the room had a winning ticket. Suzanne threw her tickets away. Unfortunately, nobody mentioned that these same tickets would be used in a raffle the next day. Very unfortunate, because one of Suzanne's tickets was a winner the next day, and she threw it out and couldn't prove it. Oops.

Normally, there is a dance after the Masquerade, but the Masquerade wasn't over until about midnight, and I was way too tired to stick around. We said goodbye to Lynn (who could not stay for Sunday) and called it a night.

9AM: Well, Sunday morning got off to an awkward start. Nothing on the schedule until 10AM, so Suzanne and I were sort of wandering around, waiting for something to happen, looking for something to do. As we passed by the Hunt Room (one of the main convention rooms), somebody walked into the room and we saw something playing on a video screen. Cool, we thought. We walked in to see what was going on. Peter was on stage, doing a sketch of some kind. We realized almost immediately that it was a rehearsal for Mystery Trekkie Theater, scheduled to start at 10AM. Oops. I turned to Suzanne and told her we probably weren't supposed to be there. Somebody came towards us and was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. I walked over to him. Ahem. Suffice it to say, he told me that we definitely weren't supposed to be there. Oops.

10AM: OK, it's finally time for Mystery Trekkie Theater. Some idiot got the bright idea to publicize a V convention in Los Angeles by putting flyers on all of the chairs. Unfortunately, everybody thought that this meant that the chairs were reserved, and they all sat in the back of the room! Those of us who knew better removed the flyers.

Mystery Trekkie Theater was running a bit late due to technical difficulties, so Peter entertained us. First he did shadow puppets. "This is a dog barking at a car. This is a dog run over by a car." Gee, where have I heard that before? <grin> Peter talked a bit more about Overload. He described it as "Lifeboat in space." He said that Tony Dow (Wally from Leave it to Beaver) was the director of the movie as well as an actor in it, and it was hard taking script notes from him, because in real life, he sounds just like Wally. Tony would say something like, "Gee, Peter, the story arc doesn't pay off on page 84 like you said it would," and Peter found himself turning into the Beaver and saying, "Aw, gee, Wally, I'll try to do better next time!"

Peter told amusing stories about working with George "Warlord Shank" Takei (who appears in Overload). He explained that George talks very slowly, which affords him maximum screen time. It takes George a minute and a half to say dialog that would take another actor a minute. When they first had him on Space Cases (I think Peter was talking about On the Road to Find Out here), they had to cut part of the first act to fit in all of George's material, because George took too long to say the dialog, and he was just too good to cut. The cast was very OK with this, because they were all so excited to be working with "Mr. Sulu!" Peter also told stories about the way people treat George. When Peter came to Canada and had to pay his $100 fee at customs for a working visa, the customs people absolutely refused to walk outside and get the money from the people who were there to pick Peter up, and they also refused to allow Peter to go outside and get the money from them. He had to pay out of his own pocket. But when George came, whole different story: the customs guys came outside to where Peter was waiting for George and said, "Are you here to pick up Mr. Sulu?" When they went to a restaurant six different waiters came out to serve them, just so they could get a chance to meet "Mr. Sulu." When it was time for dessert, and George asked what they had for dessert, a light went on in the waitress's eyes and she said, "You know, the chef is very proud of his desserts. I'm sure he'd love to come out here and tell you about them." You knew that the chef was sitting in the kitchen grumbling, "how come I'm the only one who doesn't get to meet Mr. Sulu!"

Peter said he is tired of people asking if he's writing any new books, so he's decided that his answer will be, "No, I've decided to stick to writing old books, because it's much easier that way. I'm working on Huckleberry Finn right now."

Finally, Mystery Trekkie Theater started. Of course, I had already seen half of the opening sketch. Oops. Well, anyway, there is creepy music and a scared kid. They show scenes from Star Wars on screen, with characters dying, and as each one dies, somebody in costume as that character shows up on stage (also, a puppet of Yoda was floating in back). Finally, Peter comes out and asks the kid, "What do you see?" He says, "I see dead Jedi!" And a logo appears on screen for "The Si th Sense." Everybody groan with me now. Then the people on stage start complaining about how this whole sketch is just a setup for one bad pun. Peter says he thought it was timely, but these are last year's movies. In fact, one of the cast says, this is last year's sketch! Peter didn't show up for Shore Leave last year, so there was no sketch! Then they start making fun of Peter's previous sketches: "South Trek only worked because of a guest appearance by Bill Mumy!" says Peter's sister Beth (she promptly gets a pie in the face). The other cast members want to re-do their classic sketch River Borg. Then Boris (from Bullwinkle) appears, saying that the sketch is off to a Rocky start. <groan> Hmn... well, it's always a dangerous thing to do self-referential humor about how bad your own humor is. There's a fine line between saying you're bad and actually being bad. I think Peter managed to stay on the right side of the line with this sketch, but just barely.

The episode that the MSTed was The Paradise Syndrome from the original series. That's the episode with the American Indian culture on a planet that's about to get nailed by an asteroid. Lots of good stuff in here. At the beginning, they show a scenic river shot. "New Jersey and You! Perfect Together." Peter starts reciting the moose business from the opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When they find the obelisk, Kirk asks Spock what it is. "It's a large metal thing; what part of that didn't you understand?" I think the biggest laugh came at a scene where they show Kirk, Spock and McCoy at the edge of a lake. The shot is taken from behind, over their shoulders, looking onto the lake. One of the MSTers comments that they are peeing in the lake. The second biggest laugh, I think, came when Kirk's Indian girlfriend asks how Kirk's shirt is removed, since it has no lacings. "Usually, it's ripped off in a fight." Another big laugh: Kirk's Indian girlfriend says, I bear your child. "Yeah, you and half the other women in the quadrant. You're not getting a penny out of me!" Some running gags: every time somebody puled a communicator out of his back pocket, the MSTers commented that he had to scratch his butt. Kirk loses his memory in this one, and every time he says "try to remember" or "I can't remember," they sing "... the kind of September..." They also had a lot of gags about Shatner's priceline.com commercials: when the Indians bring him some food, someone says, "look how much we saved when we named our own price on groceries!" Kirk's girlfriend says she knew that Kirk would save her people... "money on airline tickets." Kirk asks McCoy to help his girlfriend, who has been injured. "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a... oh, right."

No panels that interested me between the end of MST and Peter's chat at 1PM, so I just cruised the dealer room for a while.

1PM: Peter David speaks (again): Peter has two new books coming out in September, including New Frontiers, and a third in November. There is going to be a hardcover New Frontiers (remember back when the powers that be said Trekkies wouldn't buy books that weren't based on an existing TV series? HA!) Also coming soon, the third of the Centauri Prime series, which will answer all of the unanswered questions left open in Babylon 5 relating to the Centauri Empire. It includes within it many of the scenes that were included in flash-forwards in the B5 series, and explains things like what's the deal with David Sheridan. The book is "official" because the outline came from JMS. Peter was asked if there was any chance if the book would be made into a movie. "About as much chance as pigs flying out of my ass."

[...]

He talked about going to the screening for the Lost in Space movie. That's the screening, the one with the cast. It was awkward to be candid with them because... well, it sucked.

Bill has always wanted to do a follow-up to Lost in Space. He had a comic, but the publisher went belly-up, and nobody else wanted to publish a half-finished product. They were going to do something on Space Cases: have the Christa find a planet with a man in his 40s named Bill, a man known only as "the doctor" and a robot, and a family in suspended animation that is not seen. They would find a way to get back to Earth through some kind of spatial portal, and basically, only one of the two ships could get through at the last minute, and the crew of the Christa would let the family go instead of them, because the family had been stuck away from home so much longer. Nickelodeon scuttled this idea, because they didn't think anybody was interested in a 20-year-old TV series. A year later, the movie came out. Peter then recited the litany of Nickelodeon mistakes on SC, which I think most of us already know: Weird Al wanted to appear on the series, but Nick didn't think kids knew who he was. They were going to have most of the B5 cast do cameos for scale (i.e., real cheap) in one episode (probably LDC, though he didn't say), Nick refused. Peter talked about this stuff with some additional details in his But I Digress column...

[...]

2PM: Claudia Christian's Sunday lecture. She did an episode of Highlander that was basically a test pilot for the series Raven, but they decided to go with a different actress because they thought she "wasn't pretty enough." She gloated about the fact that the series tanked.

[...]

About the sex dance that she did in one episode of B5, she explains that she asked JMS to let Ivanova loosen up and have some fun. This episode was his response. Nothing was choreographed for her, so she deliberately did the stupidest thing she could think of, thinking they would never use it. JMS said, "fine." Oops.

3PM: Denise Crosby's Sunday lecture. Most of this was more love/hate the Trekkies documentary, although she did tell a rather amusing story about Patrick Stewart's first experience with an earthquake. They don't really have those in England. He had just bought a new car, and was driving to work when an earthquake hit. When he got to work, he complained loudly about what a piece of junk his new car was, it rattled all the way to work, he was going to take it back to the dealer. Then the cast explained that there had been an earthquake while he was driving in. "Oh... an earthquake... so that was an earthquake..."

4PM: Finally! The Never Give Up panel about Galaxy Quest. Actually, it was hard to avoid comparing GQ's treatment of fans to Trekkies' treatment of fans. Interestingly, most people at the lecture seemed to think that GQ was a much more accurate portrayal of fandom, even though it was fiction and Trekkies was a documentary. The fans were pleased with the way that fans were portrayed in

GQ. They thought it was a pretty accurate portrayal of a commercial convention (the kind that Creation runs). Everybody seemed to have really enjoyed that movie. There was some degree of ambivalence about the way fans were portrayed in Trekkies.

2000: Con Reports by K/S Fans

Note that most of the art auction reports, skits, art show, and discussions described by K/S fans in the letterzine, The K/S Press and Usenet (specifically alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated) did not happen in public venues, but instead at the annual K/S Press room parties and other places. In fact, many K/S fans did not attend much of the official programming, but were there as part of a "con within a con."

FRIDAY: Hooked up with gracious roomie K1of7 and we all went to the K/S Press party on Friday night. Met the incredibly beautiful Hafital! Met the incredibly beautiful Kaki and got to revisit Liz,

Islahope, Animasola, T'Anneli! The K/S Press people did their play "Cinderspock." It's all about Spock's huge cock, and, if you are in the mood, it's incredibly liberating (I remember feeling that way the first time I saw it), but it's like the Eleusinian mysteries; I mean you have to go through this whole song and dance as an initiate in the Eleusinian mysteries and, at the end, the secret of life is revealed and it turns out to be one big huge man-thing! ....

SATURDAY. Went to panels, but the panels that weren't slash-related were teeming with the Nattering Nabobs of Nerd Narcissism (I include myself here)....

Since I want to break into the zine world in the WORST!!!! way, I also hung around in my anti-enticing way at the K/S Press table. There was going to be a K/S panel that evening, so, using all the negative charisma I could summon, I asked the K/S Press people if maybe we could talk about really important things THIS TIME. (I am so horrible!) I wouldn't have done that, but I'm just the worst at small talk. <pausepause> "Have you made any funeral arrangements yet?" <sighheartrendingly> "Hey, the judge made my sentences concurrent, instead of consecutive! Isn't that the funniest!"....

The rest of Saturday night is a moral kaleidoscope of watching Imperial Storm Troopers do the macarena, dancing with Islahope and T'Anelli, discussing the incredible freight of the world's burdens with fellow Libra Animasola, and drinking, drinking, drinking.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation: After various Fun Car Things I drove to Philly, picked up Judith, and we hit the road to Maryland. I was rooming with Liz Ellington, who hadn't been to a con in quite a few years. There are always a whole lot of things to do at SL: listen to official guests, go to panels, spend money at the dealers' room, schmooze with friends, dress up and do role-playing, watch videos . . . All I did was schmooze and spend.

The K/S Press Party was Friday evening, and I hung out there a little bit, but mostly there was a party in our room featuring the two extant Sentinel bloopers tapes and a showing of "Blind Man's Bluff", an ep which is the Sentinel equivalent of "Operation: Annihilate!" ASCEM attendees included Islaofhope, Hafital, Kaki, CatMoran, Laura JV, Virginia Sky, Liz, Judith & me, and at least one lurker. We talked, joked, awwwed at the cuddly bits on the Sentinel tapes, and generally had a great time until about 1 AM.

Liz & I both discovered that we had a lot of catching up on sleep to do. We were slept for 9 hours that night, and then napped for 2 hours in the afternoon -- it's amazing how relaxing it can be not to have anyone to take care of.

Killa was there (she missed last year) and Hafital, Isla & I had a nice talk with her, outside to take advantage of the unusually pleasant weather. She's been doing a lot of work on music videos with TJonesy, including two great K/S vids so far: "When I'm 64", and "Dante's Prayer".

The TSU Party Saturday night was in Isla & Hafital's spacious room. Food mostly by Judith "Have Food Processor, Will Travel" Gran. Various things were read aloud, including: "Burnt Sugar," by Hafital -- you should have heard the collective intake of breath at "four fingers," when we got the first hint of where this was going. the beginnings of a totally stellar spackle of "Menagerie," by Jane (jat). The crowd cries out for more! Tuppertrek, by Kaki -- very amusing. "Paradise," by Isla -- I think she's gotta decide if this is serious, or parody/farce, pick one and stick to it. my essay on "The Learning Curve", which is now going to be re-written thanks to people's comments. Chapter One of The Novel That Ate Laura's Life, a Star Trek/Sentinel crossover that has my toes curling in bliss. There was other stuff, too, my brain just didn't absorb it all. Not least because there we were, talking and talking, and all of a sudden it was 5 AM. So after a few hours' sleep we packed, ate, and drove home -- having only two really close near-death experiences on I-95 dodging cars and lawn furniture (the latter in the left-hand lane, no less)

I'll leave the TSU Party egroup active so we can use it to plan stuff for Friscon, the next major item on the collective social calendar: I believe various of our European friends will be there, in addition to Greywolf and other denizens of western North America. I'm assuming I'll be there, though since last year's Friscon was known in my house as "Mommy's Midlife Crisis," I can't guarantee anything yet.

Here's a mini con report as I'm swamped today and can't go into much detail.

Well friday started out with me renting a car and having my first solo driving experience in Manhattan. I managed not to kill myself and get my butt off towards Maryland without to much hassle (phew!).

As soon as I got there, I met up with the lovely and talented Islaofhope, with whom I was sharing a room, and we promptly hit it off. We spent most of the weekend attached at the hip and giggling ourselves silly. It was fun. We bought lots of zines (including Greywolf's latest)and chatted with other K/Sers at the KSP party where there was some great art work and some FABULOUS songvids by Killashandra and T'Jonesy. <waves to Killa and T'Jonesy>

Saturday was the ASCEM read-aloud party which was a blast and literally lasted until the wee hours of the morning. Food and much conversation, stories and laughter. It was great. I read my new K/S which will be posted sometime this morning for y'all to read and enjoy.

All and all, it was a wonderful weekend. I met some incredible people and made some new friends.

And now I've got to finish my fuck fest stories...

hafital, exhausted.