If You Had This Time Again

Fanfiction
Title:	If You Had This Time Again
Author(s):	dls
Date(s):	05/16/17-03/22/2019
Length:	268k/100 chapters
Genre(s):	M/M
Fandom(s):	Marvel Cinematic Universe
Relationship(s):
External Links:	"If You Had This Time Again". {{cite web}}: |archive-url= requires |archive-date= (help) on AO3
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

If You Had This Time Again (IYHTTA) is a completed Marvel Cinematic Universe fanfic by dls, a time travel fix-it Tony/Loki fic where Tony Stark is sent back in time from the end of Captain America: Civil War to the time period of the first Avengers movie.

IYHTTA is the first story in the Would You Do It All The Same? series. It is followed by Burn The Sky Down, a collection of Alternate Universe “what-if” scenes and These Days Are Ours, a collection of smut scenes, which go along with the original fic. Both of them are also complete. Dls credits her beta readers, nottotallyevil and arboreal, for being the reason she was able to keep to her weekly posting schedule for the fic.

The fic is extremely popular; as of April 2021, it had the highest hit count, second highest number of kudos and comments, and the fourth highest number of bookmarks out of all works in the Marvel Cinematic Universe fandom on AO3. It is also currently the most popular work out of thousands in the "Time Travel Fix-it" tag by comments, kudos, hits, and bookmarks.

IYHTTA is written in the third person limited point of view, in the past tense. It is told primarily from Tony’s Point of View, with occasional chapters from the point of view of other characters to explain things that are happening elsewhere in the story, and to show the other character’s thoughts and motivations. The fic is Team Iron Man in perspective, though it does grant each character a chance of redemption of varying degrees.

Summary

The summary on archiveofourown.org reads:

Tony Stark closed his eyes in a wrecked Siberian bunker and woke up on a demolished New York street. Four years earlier. [1].

If You Had This Time Again is a Loki/Tony Stark fic that rewrites the MCU from the end of the Avengers to the aftermath of Endgame. This fic focuses not only on how prior knowledge can help the protagonist navigate coming challenges but also how each change has unintended consequences as Loki cautions Tony in Chapter 4: knowledge prompts change, yet change negates knowledge. As the story progresses, it becomes more difficult for Tony to predict what is coming, and he has to react to the new developments using information that may no longer be accurate.

Borrowing from Doctor Who's concept of fixed points in time, most of the plot lines from MCU films still occur, but are brought forth or resolved in a different manner or earlier than expected.

Through this second chance, Tony finds new friendships and heals from the betrayal of old ones, faces old enemies and battles against new ones, finds a family of choice and learns that he is chosen by another - an Infinity Stone, one that holds dominion over souls and the final piece of Thanos' plan.

Fan Response

Comments

While of course there is a varied fan response to any work, those who read IYHTTA all the way through especially commented on the emotional pull of the fic, and the tearjerker ending.

yuuki_Illene says on the final chapter:

I'm..... going to re-read this and cry while doing it.

I loved this fic so much. For a long, long while. If I daresay, it is one of the best works of fiction I have ever read in this fandom. I clung to every update, I was so goddamn grateful that you kept to a schedule for weeks, and I fell long and deep into your writing.

I love the way you remade the universe and yet kept to it honestly. I love the way you developed the relationship between Loki and Tony so organically, something that was a joy to read because it was simple, it was wholesome, they made each other better and needed each other for what they were.

You made the previous toxicity fade away like you're bloodletting: the rebuilding of relationships, its strengthening... it's all so wonderful. It makes me wish so badly it was canon because I want all of them to find happiness, even if it was a small piece of it. You left no one untouched.

And this epilogue really tied things in nicely. The Futurist who succeeded. Who made a future for himself. Who lost and loved, who reframed reality.

An absolutely breath-taking read. Thank you for taking us on this journey.

"Part of the journey is the end..." yes? ^_^

If you asked me would you do it all again, rediscovering the world you created

The answer will be a hard yes. Always.

dls, you're an amazing writer and I will look forward to any and all works you've written :)) [2]

Fans also repeatedly noted how the fic was able to lift their spirits during hard times. RonneeM commented on chapter 100 that:

I started reading this fic with few expectations, thinking it might be good and keep me busy for a week or two. I had just read the first chapter when my world stopped as I received a phone call from 3000 miles away. My daughter had been in an accident and was being rushed into surgery. 72 hours, three surgeries, 20 plus phone calls, and far too much research into trauma, injuries and recovery later, I come to the end of the fic. It has kept me company, given my laughter, hope, relief, and pathos. I have read sections aloud to her as she slept because the nurses said she wanted to hear my voice and they needed her calm. I used this as an excuse to cry and weep. I have used it as a reason to have hope and to giggle inanely. This morning, as I reached chapter 89, my daughter was fully awake, coherent, and able to move her feet. Now, as she drifts back into sleep, I want to thank you for a long, complicated story that wove through the Marvel universes, dragging 1970's comic storylines, MCU themes, 1990's stories and more into one intricately woven tapestry. Your story fixed so many things that bothered me about the modern movies. Your writing kept me entertained when I needed it most and I could easily put it down when I had to deal with other things, only to pick it back up when I was in need of a break again. Thank you so much for sharing [3]

Likewise, Kelsey_writes_fanfiction calls the fic an ‘escape,’ commenting:

Dls, while I have never met you I feel the need to thank you for this writing. Reading has always been an escape for me and to be able to escape to such a wonderfully written world where there is such a thing as a happy ending has helped me through a rather dark spot in my life.

While I am sad to have finished this fic, the ending was so wonderfully written it was decidedly not a painful parting, though I did tear up a bit.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your world with us.

This is easily going to be one of my favorite stories.

Thank you. [4]

dls made sure to communicate with fans of her story. ace_aquila mentions appreciating this effort in a comment on the final chapter, even as they explain how the fic made them cry:

I'm not crying, you're crying

Tony taking comfort from knowing his friends are remembered is heartbreaking but beautiful. immortality is always something that gives a lot of feels and I appreciate that you prioritised the why of his decision. it truly makes this feel like his happy ever after

I really really enjoyed this story, your grasp of and respect for these characters (even the ones we don't like) is amazing. I liked the plot, the changes you made, and that they were made less to fix the outcome and more to let the characters heal and become better. it's a very character focused story, Tony centric sure, but while still showing all his relationships and doing so from multiple perspectives, and god I know I've said it already but I'm so impressed with how well you know them all.

all their separate stories felt meaningful and satisfying, with them making decisions for themselves and their own stories, never becoming just a tool or a step in Tony's story. (I mean, even the infinity stones got to be their own characters and make their own decisions) and I feel like every time I wished that something would happen to/with a character that ended up happening in a later chapter which truly goes to show you've managed to make me think and feel exactly as you wanted about each of these characters, to make me agree with every decision you made before I even read them.

I loved to see the easy, comfortable, and romantic relationship between Tony and Loki, as well as the supportive friendships around them, it was like a soothing melody woven into the intense plotlines surrounding it

did I do anything else this weekend? No

was it worth it? 1000%

so thank you very much for writing this absolute delight of a story and sharing it with us, you're a very skilled and dedicated writer

<3

ps. thank you also for responding to my comments, it's feels nice (especially because my anxiety often makes me hesitate to comment)

[5]

Adaptations

The fic is so popular, that many fans have helped create translations into other languages so that non-English speakers could also enjoy it. As of early 2020, the list of translations of this work include:

• Mandarin Chinese by Oxalis
• Polish by Every_Moment_Matters
• Russian by Isenbo
• Brazillian Portuguese by Thefoxandthewolf

A text-to-speech podfic was also created by saltyunicorn and can be accessed here.

Fan Works

IYHTTA and the discussion it inspired in its comments section led to the creation of several Recursive fanworks.

Rejection is Hard to Take by Krafter2014

Sometimes, things don't go Odin's way.

"Fanart for If You Had This Time Again". {{cite web}}: |archive-url= requires |archive-date= (help) by haigidal

Multichapter Panel Fanart of various scenes

Making it Grow by Taeryfai

Multichapter Fanart based on discussions in the comments of IYHTTA, including Guardians of the Galaxy

Deaths Merchant by Islenthatur and TheDarkestFallingStar

Left bleeding to death on what once was Titan; Tony drops to his knees and waits

Fandom Files Podcast

In February 2019, dls was invited to read part of IYHTTA at the 38:30 mark on the 73rd episode of the Fannish Podcast Fandom Files Podcast for their “FanFiction Theatre” segment. The hosts selected IYHTTA because of its popularity (particularly its high comment count). They interviewed the author about her fic, and had her to read an excerpt from the first chapter for their listeners.

When asked about the popularity of the fic, dls had this to say:

“I’m writing what I want to read, and I guess it’s nice that other people also want to read what I want to read.”

They also discussed the popularity of IYHTTA:

“Why do you think yours has so many comments? I mean like, what’s the character of the conversation? Are people asking questions, or…?” - Emily “Different writers have different preferences and time constraints, and I am of the mindset that I want to respond to every comment.” -dls

One of the hosts brought up Avengers: Endgame in their discussion, and dls lamented her pain for the characters lost in that story. She posited that those kinds of painful turns are part of what motivates people to write fan fiction.

“The reasons we write these things is so we can live in our bubble of denial, where everything is okay.”

This is, in fact, the explicit motivation dls had in writing IYHTTA. Early on in the segment, she says:

“I got into the Marvel Fandom, specifically the… MCU Fandom, the movies, after Watching Civil War, and I had a lot of feels about Tony Stark. So, i got into the fandom. The fic that you had mentioned was actually a kind of time travel, rewrite, fix-it, kind of, at the end of civil war.”

dls also used the podcast to shout out again to her betas:

“Just wanna say, this whole incredible journey where I’ve written like a quarter of a million words and I’ve kept up with my weekly updates for like a year and a half would not have happened without my two amazing betas nottotallyevil and arboreal.

Trivia

• According to the Author’s notes on the fic, the title comes from the song “Colours” by Emma Hewitt.
• The Chapter 4 Author’s Note says “the tentative plan is to wrap this up in 20 chapters.” This guess is a little low.
• IYHTTA is a rare (possibly only) fic that refers to Bucky Barnes as neither ‘James’ (his full name is James Buchanan Barnes) nor 'Bucky', but as JB. This led to a number of jokes making pop culture references about it.
• dls got into a ‘cliffhangar-off’ with another MCU fanwriter, STARSdidathing, leading to a high proportion of cliffhangars in the middle chapters. You can see discussion of it, among other places, in the authors notes of Chapter 35 of ‘’Sharpen Your Teeth’’
• One commenter asked permission to use IYHTTA as part of their computational linguistics research.
• The author, dls, has a "tumblr account". {{cite web}}: |archive-url= requires |archive-date= (help) where she can be contacted.
• On May 20, 2021, the fic was recced by Dais Johnston on Inverse: "Loki Book Club: 5 Strange and Chaotic Fanfictions You Need to Read Before 'Loki'". {{cite web}}: |archive-url= requires |archive-date= (help)

Further reading

• "11 of the Best Marvel Cinematic Universe Fan Fictions So Far". {{cite web}}: |archive-url= requires |archive-date= (help) by Megan Peters, comicbook.com, If You Had This Time Again is #9
• "5 strange and chaotic fanfictions you need to read before 'Loki'". {{cite web}}: |archive-url= requires |archive-date= (help) by Dais Johnston, inverse.com, If You Had This Time Again is the second listed