Alternative: The Epilog to Orion
|Title:||Alternative: The Epilog to Orion ("Alternative 2/3")|
|Date(s):||1976 (around August)|
|Medium:||print zine, fanfic|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: TOS|
|Click here for related articles on Fanlore.|
Alternative: The Epilog to Orion (also referred to as "Alternative 2/3") is a Kirk/Spock slash 50-page fanwork by Gerry Downes. Cover and inside art (very simple line drawings) are also by Gerry Downes.
The novel itself is actually only about 12 pages of prose. The rest of the fanwork are multiple line drawings by Gerry Downes, and 21 pages of poetry. Downe's described it as: "... a celebration. It is primarily an examination and a revelation of feelings, a collection of poetry, line sketches, and short prose that, for all its fluid structure, does tell a story when taken as a whole." 
Very few copies of Alternative: The Epilog to Orion were ever printed. The originals were offset printed on pearl-gray paper, both covers and interior. Most of the copies in circulation are photocopies which Gerry Downes encouraged fans to make.
From an ad in The Halkan Council #20/21: "A new mature-theme zine from Gerry Downes. A different kind of love story for Starship Captain James T. Kirk and his first officer, Mr. Spock. You must state you are over 18 on your order." The price was $5, including postage.
This story was mentioned in The Development of the Kirk/Spock Relationship: Its Foundation in Fan-Fiction (1978).
Origins, Prequels, Sequels, and Inspirations
- Nebula of Orion (1976)
- Alternative: The Epilog to Orion (1976)
- Alternative: Continuing the Epilog to Orion ("Alternative 2/3") (1979)
- The Compleat Alternative (2006)
Gerry Downes also wrote a short (16 page) "Insert For Orion" which was never published but which still exists in copy form. It was meant as an insert to the first zine, and explores the consequences of Christine watching Kirk and Spock make love at the ship swimming pool.
The third issue of Mahko Root was to include a related story to "Alternative," a story called "The Third Stair," but the third issue of Mahko Root never made it off the ground. From Mahko Root #2: "Otherwise, Mahko III will include… "The Third Stair", a sidebar to Alternative by Gerry Downes and Laurie Haldeman, illoed by Gerry."
A fan in 2000 described a drawerfic she'd written in response to "Alternative: The Epilog to Orion," specifically addressing the genetic argument Spock makes for dissolving the bond. In this unnamed, self-described dark fic, Spock and Kirk are both married to women. Spock turned out to be completely sterile, and Kirk's sperm were altered due to the amount of radiation he had been subjected to during his years in Starfleet, and his children were severely disabled. Kirk's wife chose to devote her life to caring for them, and Kirk quit Starfleet to assist her. Kirk's subsequent dead-end job made him miserable. Spock, knowing he'd had a part in destroying both his own and Kirk's future, is also miserable. The author wrote the story, in part, to show the hubris of thinking there is a guarantee that a child of intelligent, gifted parents will inherit any of their abilities.
Discussed in Not Tonight, Spock!
Discussed in "Alternative" Thoughts"
In 1978, Gerry Downes discussed this zine and more in "Alternative" Thoughts.
Different Versions?It appears there are some early issues of this zine that include art that is much more explicit than what was sent to most fans. In Scribbling Women: Artists Talk Back, Leslie Fish said:
I know that the illos for ‘A Fragment Out Of Time’ and Alternative were really pretty innocuous, not definitively K/S, probably to avoid problems with the Post Office.” Now this is an interesting issue, because my copy of Alternative is, as Leslie says, “innocuous,” but Linda, my lovely assistant, has a copy with some rather less than innocuous images. I tried to discover whether there were maybe two versions, a US and an overseas one perhaps, but my investigations drew a blank, so it remains an unsolved mystery. Anyone out there know the answer?
The answer is likely that this fan is confusing "Alternative: The Epilog to Orion" with Alternative: Continuing the Epilog to Orion; the latter's art was much more explicit.
Contents: Prose and Poems
- Kirk/Spock (poem)
- Funny How Things Work Out (poem)
- So This is Love (poem)
- prose: Spock arrives at Kirk's quarters with a chess board. They both realize they want to be physically and emotionally intimate with each other, and sex ensues. They both appear to be very satisfies and happy about this new relationship.
- Perhaps Some Night (poem)
- Now I Know (poem)
- Maybe I Do Have Emotions (poem)
- How Can I Tell You? (poem)
- I Wish I Had Your Control (poem)
- The Reason (poem)
- Responsibility (poem)
- Who Would've Guessed? (poem)
- Just Between Us (poem)
- Reincarnation (poem)
- Shore Leave (poem)
- Memory Survives (poem)
- Facing Reality (poem)
- Second Thoughts (poem)
- prose: Spock tells Jim they need to break the bond both because homosexuality is not accepted in this universe, Jim's reputation is on the line. Also, they are both powerful, intelligent men who have a duty to pass down their greatness to their children. They break the bond, Spock tucks Jim into bed, and goes to deck 6 to get a meal.
- Jim (poem)
- two untitled poems
Some 2001 Comments by Gerry's Daughter-in-LawIn 2001, shortly after Gerry Downes' death, Jane of Australia re-issued this zine with its sequel. She described the story as follows [typos are hers]:
In 1979 this was daring stuff, although the story itself is pure-SF, and very good SF. Consider: On a mission of exploration near the Great Nebula in Orion, the mind of James Kirk is invaded by a strange and lonely creature, the consciousness of the nebula itself, an entity driven to desperation by its knowledge of impending mortality ... the creature is afraid to die alone, and it seeks through space for a friend, a mate ... a match. The invasion is very subtle at first, a heightened sense of perception, expanded sensory awareness—but when the Enterprise is close enough the creature takes its full possession pf the Captain and Jim must fight a mental battle to prsseve his integral identity.
He lapses into deep coma; Spock melds with him, joining McCoy to the meld also—they find themselves in a barren landscape .. the desert of Jim Kirk's mind. And they find Kirk, exhausted, near death from heat and thirst—in an attempt to turn the Captain away from his loyalties the creature has appeared to him as Spock, and has tortured him as Spock. Revived and strengthened by the presence of his friends, Jim determines that he must temporarily yield to the monster to fully understand his intentions and to devise a plan to counter them. The Enterprise is drawn into the heart of the nebula—for the creature has decided to destroy the ship and everyone aboard so that Kirk will have no choice but to stay with him forever.
The Captain comes to himself enough at last to rage defiance at the creature, promising that he will become a tormentor himself, or a devil, but never ever a friend, and that he will fight against the cretaure to the end of time itself if need be ... and when the creature leaves his mind, Jim Kirk is truly allone. Believing his ship lost and his crew also dead, he has no reason left to live ... but the Enterprise has not been destroyed ... Classic SF, very good Star Trek, exceptional writing in any genre ... and if you want more than that half-outine of the plot, guys, order up your copy of ORION AND EPILOG!
Because ALTERNATIVE's subtitle is "Continuing the Epilog to Orion," and the K/S relationship does indeed begin in the pages of that slim volume, before the meaty tome begins.
A [Gayle F] art plate opens the book, hinting at the glorious visual work to come. The pieces by Pat Stall are among the finest ever produced in this fandom. The book is vast, in reduced type and twin column format, and yes ... this is an "age statement required with order" piece!
ALTERNATIVE is a wonderful exploration of the anatomy of a romance—any kind of romance, but most especially the intimate relationship between two men. And it's set against the exotic SF backgrounds which made Star Trek a legend. Very soon ALTERNATIVE itself became a begend, and rightly so.After a long time in slumber, that legend is reborn.
Its Relationship to "Nebula of Orion"From 1987:
From 2007:The credit for the very first published K/S zine belongs to a very talented writer and artist from Alaska, Gerry Downes. From 1976 through 1979, she published an adult genzine called STARDATE: UNKNOWN. Five issues of this classic zine were produced and the stories therein hold up as well today as when they were first written. In the first issue, Gerry wrote a story called NEBULA OF ORION. In the story, the Enterprise is travelling close to the Nebula and the closer it gets the more Kirk's personality changes. He becomes angry without reason, suspicious of his friends, and a general tyrant to his crew. By the end of the story, we have learned that the Nebula is a living entity who is lonely and is seeking, through dreams, to turn Kirk against his crew so that he will leave the ship and remain with the Nebula. Spock, with the help of McCoy, melds with Kirk to drive the entity out. While in Kirk's mind, Spock inadvertently allows McCoy to see the depth of feeling he has for Kirk, he uses this love to call Kirk's mind back from the entity. While this is a gen tale, and there is no implication of anything sexual in Spock's love, it is the basis for the first K/S zine.
Having been converted to K/S fandom, Gerry decided to write a K/S story. She expanded on the NEBULA OF ORION story and ALTERNATIVE: EPILOG TO ORION was born. It was a small zine, only 50 pages of story, art and poetry, all by Gerry. It was published in 1976 with a small print run. In the disclaimer she refers to it as a speculative work of fiction. In the story, Kirk remembers what Spock told him in the meld and realizes that he also loves the Vulcan. When Spock appears at his cabin for a chess game, Kirk admits his feelings and leads Spock into a night of loving. During the lovemaking, they bond by mutual consent. After a few days, Spock has second thoughts and regrets the bonding. He fears the prejudice that they will encounter, and worries that it might affect Kirk's command. Kirk wants to complete and bond and make it permanent but Spock uses logic to dissuade him and offers to teach Kirk to build a mental wall between them. Although the bond cannot be broken, the wall will effectively separate them. After the wall is built, Kirk tests it by kissing Spock, and is satisfied when he feels no sexual desire. Spock knows that he will always love Kirk, but accepts the decision. The story ends here.
ALTERNATIVE met with such success (at last, K/S in print!) and such grumbling about the ending that, in 1979, ALTERNATIVE 2/3: CONTINUING THE EPILOG TO ORION was born. This double zine is much longer than the first - 135 pages reduced. Again, all work is by Gerry, except for the art which also features [Gayle F] and Pat Stall. In - Book 2, Kirk deeply regrets the loss of the bond and is increasingly unhappy with the status quo. Spock senses this discontent and debates his alternatives. Kirk expects Spock will transfer off the ship but when the Vulcan states he intends to stay, Kirk announces he will leave instead. , This statement startled Spock and forces him to examine his feelings more closely.' .They decide to try again for a meaningful relationship. At the end of Book 2, they have the relationship, but it is not yet all that either desire. Kirk is afraid that his love for Spock is destroying the Vulcan, and McCoy warns that Spock may not be able to handle the human side of love to which he has now been exposed. Spock spends a night with Christine while Kirk is entertained by Areel Shaw.
As Book 3 opens, Kirk and Spock have added jealousy to the list of problems they face. Kirk wonders why Spock is shutting him out and goes to his cabin. While seducing Spock, Kirk reaches out with his mind and Spock recoils in anger. He orders Kirk out of his quarters. Kirk later discovers that he has acquired the ability to withdraw into a trance-like state similar to a Vulcan healing trance, but cannot bring himself out of them when they occur. Spock, who has avoided Kirk except in the line of duty, offers to take the Captain to Vulcan for expert teaching by a Vulcan healer. The healer, when she finds out about the many melds Spock has had with Kirk, refuses to meld with the captain. No other healer will meld either and Kirk is given textbooks to study, so that he may learn the techniques himself. He goes to Spock's home to seek the Vulcan's "help. During a trip into the desert, they regain the friendship both had thought lost. Later, after returning to the house, Kirk gets Spock drunk and half-rapes him. Filled with remorse, Kirk seeks to leave, but Spock stops him, saying that Kirk had nothing that Spock had not 'also wanted. Kirk for the first time tells Spock that he loves him and all ends well.These are very shot synopses of the stories and there is much left untold. I heartily recommend these books to K/S fans as Gerry was an excellent writer. Also recommended is STARDATE: UNKNOWN #1 for the story NEBULA OF ORION which sets up the rest of the tale.
Gerry was the publisher of the gen zine Stardate: Unknown, and for issue 1 (1976), she wrote a short story titled Nebula of Orion.” Here is a synopsis of the plot: While on a mission to explore the nebula, Kirk’s mind is being subtly influenced by a mysterious force. This force, called the Entity, is seeking to control him. It rightly sees Spock as its greatest threat, and it attempts to make Kirk perceive the first officer as his enemy. Because this is so contrary to the way Kirk really feels, he becomes aware of the Entity’s presence for the first time. Kirk uses physical pain to focus his mind. The Entity fights back by forcing terrible nightmares on the captain, taking him to an imaginary desert world of the mind where Spock tortures and taunts him. Fighting the urge to kill Spock causes Kirk to withdraw from reality, descend into unconsciousness, and lapse into a coma.
Spock and McCoy discover the truth when they join with Kirk in a three-way meld. Spock formulates a plan: Kirk is to let the Entity take over his mind completely so they can learn more about it and its purposes. It even forces Kirk to “kill” Spock and persuades McCoy to cover it up. With the Entity firmly in control, Kirk takes the Enterprise into the nebula on a course designed to destroy her. Spock, now free to work undercover, finds out the Entity wants the ship demolished so it can have Kirk to itself. Spock discovers the Entity is the nebula, a sentient being, which fears its own approaching death and wants the captain as a companion.
Kirk, overcome by his own grief at the thought he has killed his friend, resists the Entity with all his formidable will and forces it away, only to fall into a coma from the strain and his own remorse. By the time Spock has taken the Enterprise to safety and returned to sickbay, Kirk is dying. In another three-way meld, Spock and McCoy must enter the captain’s mind, express their love for each other and for him, and rescue him from his feelings of guilt and despair.
Although it is not necessary to read this story to understand the events of Alternative: The Epilog to Orion, it certainly helps to know that the entire first part of the zine—thirteen poems and the first of two short stories—consists of Kirk’s visions as he recuperates in his cabin after the Orion incident. He fantasizes a future relationship with Spock, how their sexual relationship would work, what McCoy would think. The first story is Kirk’s daydream of how Spock would come to him, how they would confess their innermost feelings for each other, how they would bond and make love.In the second story, Spock does come to the captain’s quarters. He admits that he also feels desire for Kirk and that a partial bond has been formed because of the very deep melds they have experienced. They must complete the bond or break it entirely. Both men want the bond. Both men argue against it. Spock reminds Kirk about their careers, McCoy’s probable disapproval, etc., while secretly really being concerned about the captain’s individuality being lost and his freedom being compromised. Kirk agrees, but only because he would not push himself on Spock when it’s obvious to him that his friend doesn’t want him. Then Spock reveals the devastating news that they must never meld again because the bond would reform. In a meld they visualize a barrier that forms between them, and they break the bond. Afterward Kirk kisses Spock and feels nothing. The story continues in Alternative: Continuing the Epilog to Orion (1979).
Some 1978 Comments by the Author
One flaw in some of the stories that have been printed since ALTERNATIVE, and in some of the objections as well, is that these are 'homosexual' love stories. They are not, in the generally known sense of the term. Specific acts of intercourse may be labeled 'homosexual,' there being an infinite number of ways humanoid bodies can interact, but homosexuality, per se, involves a same gender sexual fixation -- in male homosexuality it's a male to male fixation -- and that is not in operation here. Kirk is profoundly heterosexual in his orientation, and Spock functions quite effectively with women whenever he chooses to do so. While they may eventually come to appreciate maleness as an erotic stimulus, the relationship does not begin that way. The emotional attachment and commitment come first, and anything else that may occur can happen only because of that attachment.
When ALTERNATIVE was printed, there were predictable cries of outrage from people who simply could not transcend the gender question, and protests from those to whom any work with an erotic focus is pornographic. Still, the initial reactions to ALTERNATIVE were generally about what I had hoped for. They showed that the majority of readers were willing to look beyond the surface levels of relationships. I was, admittedly, a little afraid to publish it -- by its very nature and theme, it is vulnerable to criticism. Even when finished, it was still open in structure -- perhaps too open; some readers to this day insist it is not really one story, but three separate endings -- and the poems themselves have a lyric simplicity, an idealism, even romanticism that leaves them utterly defenseless to anyone wanting to reject the theme -- they do not explain themselves; they simply are. There was also a furor over the price, though anyone who disliked the book could have a full refund . And in a way, perhaps it was just as well that it was expensive to produce; it kept ALTERNATIVE from being purchased from casual curiosity. Some readers thought it intensely masculine, some thought it far too feminine . The reaction here may very well depend on what the reader himself has brought to the work; it is difficult to remain outside this particular story, and if you are not comfortable being inside . . . Often the responses were touchingly candid; people were thinking, examining not only the story's characters and motivations, but their own feelings as well. "I know I shouldn't like this, but I do." was a common reaction. There was also the sentiment, "I still don't agree with the idea, but I like the way it was presented" and what is actually quite a tribute, "I don't like this idea, and I don't believe this could ever happen -- but while I was reading ALTERNATIVE ... I did." The most common response, and the one I still get most often as people borrow copies and pass around xeroxes is that, "I've lost count of how many times I've read this." To which I can only answer, "So have I."
There are other, more explicitly erotic K/S stories being printed these days, and I often hear from people who say that they can now read and appreciate the layers of meaning in these stories -- for them, ALTERNATIVE opened mental doors. The topic is receiving more serious analysis than was possible before, and I have made contact with a great number of thoughtful, caring people, who on an intellectual basis at least, have become friends.
The 2001 ReprintAccording to the Nut Hatch Press which republished the fanzines in 2001:
Love is clearly stated in that gen story, but is it deeper than friendship, brotherhood? At the end of the gen story the 'sub-plot,' or 'sub-text,' as we would call it today, has been broadly hinted at but not yet stated outright. That statement is made in the EPILOG TO ORION, which was published separately as a thin, and slash could be said to have begun!... In the interests if coherence, and especially for those readers who desure [sic] to collect only the slash part of this collection, we made the decision to combine NEBULA and EPILOG into one still-slender volume, and present the two together as a kind of prolog to ALTERNATIVE. It's just 80pp at A4, beautifully illustrated, a collection of prose, poetry and art, combined with Gerry's magic touch... The foundations for ALTERNATIVE are laid right here, and even if slash was not to your taste, the treatment given the relationship between ship's captain and alien commander is so delicate, no reader could fail to be touched.
Jim led their search at first until they both learned enough to be explorers in this strange new world of gentle dreamed-of pleasures and exquisite tender pain -- and was this all the sweeter now, for having been so long forbidden? Their love was joyously accepted, because they gave it to each other, and they cane at last to full complete discovery.
They found an empty universe, and filled it with themselves. Two, One and one. One.
It was a very special universe, gloriously different from any they had known before; and they gave it light and substance, joyful spinning galaxies filled with tender glowing stars. It was their own creation, borne of deep and selfless love. Borne of their special sharing, of their joy. And they laughed together in their creation, supremely happy with its perfection, with its pure and perfect balance, with their love.
"Captain." Spock's use of formal rank was deliberate, to help his words penetrate the desire that he could feel still huilding, becoming stronger with every passing second. "We must make a decision."
"Decision? What is there to decide?" Jim felt a small knot of fear start to grow, along with the heat. "If we're bonded ....."
"The bond is not yet complete," Spock explained. "We can make it so, make it permanent, or we can sever it and put it away from us. But we cannot, either of us, continue long in this condition."
Complete it? Yes, he had never wanted anything more in his entire life. And Jim Kirk knew what actions would bind them together, and he wanted that too. He tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. He was unsuccessful.
"What do you want to do?"
"The same as you. Complete our bonding, and share everything we've both been wanting."
Relief flooded Jim's face, but his smile was stopped while it was still forming by the Vulcan's next words.
"You do realize there are other considerations."
It was becoming difficult to keep control, even with the fear that was becoming more intense. Jim reached out and caught Spock's arms in a tight, desperate grip, inadvertantly letting the full force of his personality slam into the other man.
"What could be more important than what we want right now?"
This passion was too strong to suppress -- Spock let his shift to anger, an emotion that he could at least use and deal with.
"Will you try to think beyond this bedroom for one minute?" He was almost shouting, and he made no attempt to soften the impact of his words. "What about your ship? Your career? Are they worth nothing?"
Shocked by this uncharacteristic outburst of fury, Jim let his hands drop, restoring a slight measure of rationality to them both. "There's no regulation... " he began.
"No," Spock answered more quietly. It had been acutely painful for him to hurt Jim, even for a few seconds. "No, but is physical love between males accepted among humans among all humans?"
Jim hung his head and shook it slightly. "Not by everyone. But if we were discreet .... " he looked back up, his hope dying at the stern set of Spock's features.
"Jim, you cannot function as Captain of a starship unless you command respect. You have dedicated your entire lIfe to command. Do you truly want to risk damaging it, perhaps beyond repair? Think what you would be throwing away -- you owe yourself, and Starfleet, better than that."
Spock softened his voice slightly, but he was still insistent as he continued, "And there is something else just as important -- the question of offspring."
"What's to question?" Jim asked, puzzled. He was more than a little hurt and confused by Spack's continuing rejection. "There won't be any."
"Precisely. For either of us."
Jim made a small attempt at humor. "Well, there's no shortage of human beings in the galaxy." It came out bitter.
Spock took the sentiment seriously. "There is always a need for men like yourself, and never enough of them. You and I would have each other, but we could never leave anything of ourselves to continue after we are gone."
"Spock," Jim objected gently, "you don't even know if you can father children.""My fertility is uncertain," Spock admitted, "but I may be successful with a human female. In any case, I have a responsibility to try."
Sample Gallery of Some Interior Pages
Reactions and Reviews
- Open Letter by Winston A. Howlett Regarding His Review of "Alternative: Epilog to Orion" by Winston Howlett (1976)
- "Alternative" Thoughts by Gerry Downes (1978)
This is Gerry's answer to her own story in STARDATE: UNKNOWN. And as much as S:U was a wonderful surprise, this is a disappointment. It is well written, clearly printed and curious. Gerry combines narrative (with good dialogue) with poetry and very simple line drawings, chronicling Kirk and Spock's "discovery" that they love each other, expressing the love physically. I applaud Gerry for her excellent resolution of the "affair." For you Rod McKuen/Leonard Nimoy free verse lovers who think that Kirk-Spock love stories are all the rage, I recommend it. I personally find this type of story invariably disappointing, on two points. It is sad to see good writers fooling around with even more minute dissection of Kirk-Spock and navel diving instead of space exploring. And even if they grasp the sexual side and the explicit scenes are well done, it falls flat on characters and plot. Gerry's is non-explicit, dealing with sexuality thru metaphor, albeit interesting metaphor. the art is neat tho uninspired. And, Gerry, yes, the Kirk on page 13 is very nice, one of the best I've seen of that man smiling! Rating: Graphics 4; Content 4; $ Worth 3 (with a little 2).
ALTERNATIVE continues the thread of controversy introduced by Downes in the Kirk segment of STARDATE: UNKNOWN #1, Although embracing the concept of a homosexual love affair between Kirk and Spock, this is not a porn zine. The separate vignettes are tastefully handled; indeed, to some it may appear that Downes used a 'cop-out' ending to her tale. The artwork and storyline are subtly, poetically developed. There is eroticism, but a welcome lack of licentiousness.
It really should have been called 'Alternatives,' plural. It is not a story, but a series of vignettes, some prose, some verse, on the theme of bonding between Kirk and Spock and its possible effects. The bonding is the result of the mind link which occurred in 'Nebula of Orion' in Stardate: Unknown. At first glance, Alternative: The Epilog to Orion seems formless, but actually it follows a typical pattern of sexual fantasy. The first alternative is the obvious one, the one so many people are working on: Spock goes into pon farr while bonded to Kirk. But the creative fantasist is not content with a single possibility; Downes drops that and moves on to her main theme: a celebration of love between two strong men. Many of the vignettes give varying answers to the question, 'What is love?' Finnaly, as in all of those fantasies which we play variations upon for some time, the final alternative approaches reality. I say approaches, for of course these delicate fantasies cannot hold together at all in the harsh light of reality. Downes doesn't attempt to make them do so; she deliberately creates a separate mental world where all this takes place. Perhaps the best way to approach Alternative: The Epilog to Orion is to see it as a series of Kirk's fantasies while recovering from the Orion incident. In reality, he would never share such thoughts with anyone -- certainly not Spock -- and the final fantasy is his means of readying himself to return to duty. This is a fanzine by a woman, for women. If you are open-minded enough to accept the right of a writer to pursue this particular theme, you find nothing here to offend. Several of the drawings are more suggestive than the text, but there is NOTHING explicit beyond some kissing. No genitalia are either mentioned or shown; in the artwork they are simply not drawn, or covered by the pose. The most suggestive illustrations work by implication. In other words, the delicate balance of fantasy is held throughout; no harsh reality impinges upon this gentle world. If... sex experts are correct about the physical activities of homosexual males, then the harsh light of reality again reveals that Alternative: The Epilog to Orion is untrue. The emphasis is on holding, kissing, caring -- the activities WOMEN place most importance on. Alternative: The Epilog to Orion must be accepted as a woman's fantasy about a man's fantasy, if it is to be accepted at all. If you can accept the theme, and can appreciate Downes' delicate touch, you will appreciate Alternative: The Epilog to Orion. If you are at either extreme, however -- 'homosexuality is disgusting' or 'gimme those juicy graphic descriptions, drool, drool' -- this zine is not for you.
This is a type of story that has been tried before in fandom... unsuccessfully, I might add. It is a tale of a true, sexual relationship between Kirk and Spock. On this try, Gerry proves that it will still be a while before the art of writing homosexual love stories is at last perfected. Nevertheless, this tiny scenario, which would scarcely even call a short story, despite the 50-page bulk, does have a few excellent features. Perhaps the best feature of the zine is the way in which it is written. The tone and flow of the zine is fanciful and artistic using a scattering of different techniques to convey the total message: a whole series of poems in verse librre, a scattering of illos, many of them full paged and perhaps only a dozen full pates of straight dialog/narration. The poems are quite a feat in themselves. An individual free verse poem may not be much, but a whole series of them designed to fit into the story and work together is quite a job, and Gerry has done it well. As for the believability -- the story falls flat on its face. One of the few science fiction pieces I have ever read to deal with the subject of love other than heterosexual love in a credible manner is 'The Left Hand of Darkness.' by Ursula K. Le Guin. While I don't suggest that Gerry Downes' work should show the same quality as a professional writer, I DO suggest that it takes far more space than 12 pages of dialog to make homosexual love plausible to an audience living in a society where homosexuality is rejected by most. There isn't enough rationale, background, cultural framework, or enough of the characters' thoughts about the whole thing to give it the plausibility it needs. Although it may be written in a beautiful cycle... it's just not believable... but then it appears as thought the story was not developed for the purpose of being believable. Take it or leave it, I guess. Perhaps the greatest drawback of this zine is the fact that it isn't a whole story, only the ending to a previous one... and the price. I might understand the price a little steep to discourage younger readers, but remember that for $5 you can get several complete zines from other sources. The price for this is hardly worth it for only part of a story.
There are a couple of 'adult' Trekzines making the rounds these days that the producers are putting in covers that intentionally resemble plain, brown wrappers. From what I have heard of the contents, this kind of treatment would seem very appropriate. However, this one should have been wrapped in a Hefty Garbage Bag. Not to malign the appearance of this zine. Its pearl-gray pages, pleasant typeface, and interesting layout make it a nice-looking little one-shot. The artwork -- such as it is -- is competent and helps get the story's point across very adequately. And not to malign the structure of the writing. This literary effort has a plethora of love poetry which -- if it were written from a man to a woman, or vice versa -- would be some of the best writing in fanfic today. But the stuff is written from Kirk to Spock, and from Spock to Kirk, leaving us with the subject matter that I must take to task: homosexuality. 'Orion' is a story in Ms. Downe's zine 'Stardate: Unknown.' I have not read it yet, but some of my colleagues refer to it as an 'almost get-Kirk tale,' leaving our dear Captain in a psychological state that Mr. Spock sees as an opportunity to take his best friend in to a 'new and deeper relationship.' The result? 'Alternative' or 'Kirk and Spock Go Gay.' According to some of the latest social mores, 'Gay is Good' (Sorry, friend, not in this part of the galaxy), so I guess this type of literary exploration coming aboveground is inevitable. In fact, I hear that other zine writers are working on similar ideas. Fasten your seat belts and pass the Bromo; I think we are in for a rough literary season. The interior artwork of 'Alternative' is mostly simple line drawings, but they help greatly in removing any pretensions about where this work belongs: in a Times Square smut shop. I mean to cast no dispersions upon the author/artist. I truly wish her well... and hope she stays away from the scene where Uhura kissed Christine in 'What Are Little Girls Made of?' 
"Editor's note: Kathy came up with this little gem after reading Gerry Downes' ALTERNATIVE. Part of Gerry's response was the accompanying illo. Thanks a heap, you two!"
- "There was a ship's captain named Kirk"
- "Who developed a very strange quirk."
- "'Til once with with a leer,"
- "He pinched Spock on the rear"
- "And up did the Vulcan's brows perk?"
This is Gerry's answer to her own story in Stardate: Unknown. And as much as S:U was a wonderful surprise, this is a disappointment. It is well-written, clearly printed, and curious. Gerry combines narrative (with good dialogue) with poetry and very simple line drawings, chronicling Kirk and Spock's 'discovery' that they love each other, expressing the love physically. I applaud Gerry for her excellent resolution of the 'affair.' For you Rod McKuen/Leonard Nimoy free verse lovers who think that Kirk-Spock love stories are all the rage, I recommend it. I personally find this type of story invariably disappointing on two points. It is sad to see good writers fooling around with even more minute dissection of Kirk-Spock and navel [sic?] diving instead of space exploring. And even if they grasp the sexual side and the explicit scenes are well done, it falls flat on characters and plot. Gerry's is non-explicit, dealing with sexuality thru metaphor, albeit interesting metaphor.
I really feel that Gerry deserves credit no matter how you feel about ALT, whether you liked it or didn't, or felt the price was too steep, or the writing poor, or the subject matter terrible (I'm surprised not to have more from THAT angle of it -- most of the protests have been over price/quality, not contents), the credit that she deserves that 1) she actually had the guts to bring it print subjectwise... 2) she is, as far as I know, the first fan to guarantee that she would refund money to anyone who did not like the zine and sent the zine back to her... And she has had very few returned.
I have elected to scrap the last part of the ALT controversy. I am sitting here facing to long 'commentaries' -- one from Leslie, one from HOP. Frankly, I don't like them. I am, without reservation, utterly sick of this entire topic. I figure these two pieces would take something like six pages to include... I resent vehemently giving ALT that much free space in this zine. To me, everything that has been said about it has been tantamount to advertising, and considering how I feel about it, that is utterly ridiculous... Good or bad, it has secured its place as an Important Thing in Fandom. I don't think it deserves that place, and I am not going to contribute to its glorification any more. I don't like it. I don't care if it's supposed to be a serious extrapolation or a fantasy, I don't care how courageous it might signify that Gerry is. I'm sick of the whole thing.
Seven reviews were received, six reviewers out of the seven rated art, fiction and poetry, all seven reviewed the other categories. Art ranged from 5/9; fiction, 7/10; poetry, 8/10; covers, 4/10; binding, 5/9.
This 'zine was Gerry's second fanzine effort (the first being STARDATE: UNKNOWN #1, which is reviewed elsewhere in this issue), and is an epilog on a story that appeared in S:U #1.
This is "the erotic fantasies of a woman trying to imagine a male homosexual relationship in terms of what she/women enjoy," and is "the first to explore the topic." One reviewer states that "it is best to suspend one's sexual sensitivities and moral objections, but the 'zine "expresses deepest intimacy without being explicit." The bulk of the story is told in poetry form , and one reviewer wished that more prose had been utilized instead. The $5.00 price tag was also quoted as being a bit too steep.
Personally, I enjoyed the 'zine. I still don't know if I accept the basic premise, but I don't mind reading the stories! Men almost universally dislike this theme — I've asked many!This issue may be out-of-print. 
There seems to be missing what is the most important... we all have the right to try to produce, to create, Altho there are several people I may personally wish would never take up space in zines again, it is their right to do so. Even ALTERNATIVE has the right to exist - as much a right as I have to dislike it. And whether or not these various people wore good writers or not, I thinly it's a goddamn shame they didn't have the guts to face down the criticism and continue to produce - simply bocoz they enjoyed it so much. And there was probably someone out there somewhere who liked it. What fandom really needs is a more broadened understanding of very basic rights. The right to do something and the right to comment on it are equal, I just don't know where freedom of expression has vanished to over the years. 
Alternative 2/3 is very well written by one of fandom's most mature and capable authors. The style is taut, the pace fast or leisurely according to mood, the action gripping. One becomes very aware that the central characters are highly intelligent people engaged in a job which is both rewarding and dangerous - and just as in life, there is a leavening of humour among the drama' and the heartbreak. Who can ever forget the over-zealous crewman who self-righteously attempts to reveal to Kirk the shocking rumour that Mr. Spock has actually been seen holding hands with another man?
However, with all its undoubted excellence, I find this a cold story that does not evoke an emotional response in me, despite the emotional turmoils constantly taking place.
Having established as an inescapable fact that bonded Vulcans die simultaneously the writer then contends that the Enterprise needs either Kirk or Spock to command her, I find this argument unconvincing. It was surely a major oversight on the part of Starfleet that the Enterprise never had a competent Second Officer to replace Gary Mitchell. We cannot entirely blame Gerry Downes for this, but characters have successfully been added to the crew before by other writers and this problem could have received such a solution quite easily. I, for one, refuse to believe that either Kirk or Spock is so egotistic as to consider himself irreplaceable. Sadly, the compromise situation that is achieved here is demeaning to both men - a purely physical relationship that denies Spock's telepathic needs. Even more sadly, this Kirk never seems to be able to see how much Spock is hurting.
Eventually, the strains imposed by this something or nothing arrangement become so great McCoy suggests as a remedy that they should be less exclusive, Astoundingly, Kirk agrees readily to this and happily goes off for a brief tumble with old friend Areel Shaw, while Spook deliberately sets out to seduce Christine Chapel, an act which I find impossible to accept.
Not unnaturally, Christine eventually tires of being used so cold-bloodedly and leaves the Enterprise. My only surprise is that she goes along with it as long as she does. Her initial reaction on hearing of the new relationship between the two men is understandable and forgivable - her tacit agreement to be used as a kind of sponge to soak up Spock's excess sexual tension is not.
There is an abrupt break in the story here and when we take it up again we find the characters already plunged into a new and heartbreaking situation. The new story-line is not easy to follow and things would have been made simpler for the reader by being introduced gradually, by direct account, instead of in confusing and out-of-sequence flashbacks. It was never simple to sort out precisely what points the writer was trying to make in the first section: this second part is even more confusing. Formerly, the pair of them were trying to come to terms with incompatible physical, mental and emotional needss now, without having solved any of the original problems, they have to endure the added complication of the distressing mental state created in Kirk by an alien race who have destroyed his memory In a cold-blooded, utterly unfeeling stripping of his psyche. Spock has been able to supply him (through the meld) with the facts of who and what he is but the emotions and needs that made him that person have deserted him - he fears for good, Added to this, Spock is facing his second pon farr end has inexplicably never got round to acquainting Kirk with the fact that the only recorded male/male pairing in modern times ended in their violent deaths since the partner in plak tow could only react aggressively to his lover as a challenging male presence.
Spock throughout is pictured as oddly indecisive, quite unable to cope either logically or emotionally with the problems he faces. Kirk in the first section is chilling) in the latter half he is positively frightening in his coldness.It seems to me that the writer has introduced too many important and difficult issues into her story and has failed to suggest adequate solutions for most of them so that, although the excellence of her writing carries you swimmingly along, the cumulative effect is one of dissatisfaction. When you have come to the end and look back, it is difficult to discern by what path you got here - and almost impossible to describe to anyone else what the main theme of the story is. Many of the events taking place, while superb stories in themselves, have little relevance to the final outcome. Basically, Alternative 2/3 is not a novel, it is a series of barely connected episodes that, sadly, do not add up to-a coherent whole. 
I bet all of us have felt the frustration of encountering ill-informed attitudes based on stereotypes about gays -- or even about K/S. An anti-KS-er who claims that all K/S stories focus only on sex and turn the characters into weepy, hysterical, effeminate, and generally out-of-character souls has probably not read Alternative II/III. 
ALTERNATIVE 2 and 3 by Gerry Downes is on the whole well- written. I liked the inter-action between Spock and Sarek, between Kirk and Areel Shaw and between Kirk and the alien King, Aeris. These were high points of the novel for me. However I did have problems. There was a major amount of sexism in the novel mostly having to do with the portrayal of Christine Chapel. I admit that the only portrayal of Chapel I've read that doesn't offend me is in "Snake Pit" by Connie Faddis (NEW VOYAGES 2) where Chapel was an active hero. I also admit that Gerry is being faithful to the aired Trek version of Chapel, but I don't see why we need to perpetrate sexist images of women in fan fiction. If it's accurate to show Chapel as a weepy clinging vine, then let's dispense with the character all together. I for one would be pleased never to see her again if she must be written about in such a fashion.
I also noted sexism in Kirk's attitude toward fucking. K and S had done everything else except for Spock fucking Kirk, and Kirk thinks that he wants Spock to fuck him so that Spock can "know the pleasure that being male can give him". What does Spock experience when Kirk sucks his cock, the pleasure of being female? This only points to the absurdity of sexist categories. Then there was the jarring note in the Kirk-McCoy relationship when McCoy had to ask Kirk if he had raped Soock. A McCoy who'd believe that Kirk would rape anyone, let alone Spock, is beyond my comprehension. As far as the plot , was concerned, I found it unbelievable that Kirk thought his relationship with Spock so beyond words that he had nothing to say about it in his personal log. Many writers have based their stories on personal log entries and I don't think it makes the relationship any less sacred. The only reason I could think of for the existence of this plot device is to make things much more difficult for Kirk than they should be later on. This is called "contrived". Gerry Downes also seems to forget about shifts on starships at times. Many writers have this problem, but Downes takes this to an extreme when she blithely states at one point that everyone was asleep on board. Oh, indeed. Who's minding the store? If she had only thought a little, she would never have been so careless. Lastly, the pro-monogamy ending of the novel isn't congenial to me. I'm sure most other fans were happy with it, however.I'd say that ALTERNATIVE 2 and 3 isn't likely to be one of my favorites, but despite its faults it's definitely worth reading. 
ALTERNATIVE'S art, 2/3 especially, is wonderful. ALTERNATIVE is an experience one appreciates because it was the FIRST MAJOR K/S. If one is looking for a weil written traditional type novel, it's going to be a "downer", because it's not really even a novel. The Kirk and SpocK I think of is not her Kirk and Spock at all. However, Downes helped pave the way for later K/S. I love ALTERNATIVE on one level: on another ievel I was not satisfied because I had expected more.
As for realism (emotional not pornographic) I challenge anyone to read Alternative 2/3 and not find it emotionally relevant, and well situated in the context of a futuruistic society. Kirk and Spock deal with the difficulties of maintaining a relationship, struggle with the Vulcan Human complications and it is not an easy ride,. This is also one of the earliest K/S novels.
My first exposure to Slash was at the tender age of 17... walking into a Trek fans home for the first time, gazing in wonder at... gasp, my first Fanzine! I picked it up reverently...and then gaped in total amazement at what was within. I don't remember the title, but it was by Gerry Downes and the illustrations made it quite clear that Kirk was doing something to Spock, but I wasn't sure quite what! I was a very sheltered child...Catholic school and all, and not prepared for that sort of thing. Of course, my friend immediately hid the zine, and substituted Spock Enslaved for my reading enjoyment.
Groundbreaking K/S novella, the first and still holding up! 
This zine is totally awesome. I had a yen for some K/S h/c so I skedaddled to the annual Star Trek Creation Convention in San Francisco in its ever diminishing capacity. The west coast zine dealer Jim Rondeau was there, and I was able to get my hands on an original Nightvisions for $25.00 and Alternative for $10.00. It was the best investment I ever made. Alternative is a page turning novel. It is an even mix of Star Trek adventurous gen with a K/S relationship. It is tightly written and well fleshed out. (Did that sound right?) There is something in there for everyone. You have a developing K/S relationship, action and adventure, diverse characters, hurt/comfort, angst, Vulcans, all set in the canon universe. This is one of the best K/S novels I have ever read. It is right up there with my all-time favorites Broken Images, Bloodstone, and Lifeboat. This novel is a mega must read. A thousand raves around the world.
...Alternative? I do remember not really "seeing" the slash in it (and most of those early "slash" stories were a huge disappointment to later slash fans who finally obtained them), but I also have a vague recollection of some very plain drawings that seemed to indicate... something. Was Gerry toying with everyone? Or was it one of those "mass hysteria" situations where something got labeled out of the public's ability to brainwash itself (a la the War of the Worlds radio program)? 
Alternative: Epilog to Orion was interesting in that Gerry postulated a sexual interest but had Spock saying no, because they had a duty to the future to marry and have children. Which was, basically, still denying the theme. ... the snippet I wrote after reading -that-... [snipped]
Hell, *I* don't [want to reread it], and I wrote it! Both [Kirk and Spock are] married. Spock turned out to be completely sterile, which McCoy had known he was, and Kirk's genetic contribution was shot to hell and back because of the amount of radiation he had been subjected to during his years in Starfleet, so his children had every disability in the book - blind, deaf, an unmeasurably low level of intelligence, totally unable to walk - total vegetables, unable to communicate in any way; but medical science could and did keep them alive and when his wife chose to devote her life to caring for them he knew it was his responsibility to stay and help her. It separated Kirk and Spock permanently, took Kirk out of Starfleet into a dead-end, unrewarding job that bored him totally, completely destroyed his future, left him trapped in a loveless, worsening situation in which he had no hope at all of any sort of happiness, and at the same time left Spock feeling totally guilty, knowing that he had destroyed both Kirk and his own future and left Kirk blaming and hating him.Actually, I don't think I have [this drawerfic] any more. I wouldn't say it was even that well written because I don't *do* dark. It was just something I had to get out of my system because I don't believe anyone has a duty to the future - there's no guarantee that a child of intelligent, gifted parents will inherit any of their abilities. A duty to the present, yes, but not to the future.
[LoC for Nebula and Alternative: The Epilog to Orion]: I have head about these zines and stories for years, but never read them. According to Jenna (who has assisted me in the facts about this zine), Epilog to Orion is considered the first K/S standalone zine. Quite the accomplishment back then in 1976!
So they are really meant to be read with this genesis in mind–this was the very first time K/S had actually been published in a zine. Well, maybe the very first time, but certainly nearly so. The story of “Nebula Of Orion” is basically a gen story and concerns an entity mentally and emotionally attacking Kirk. I was never really certain what this entity exactly was—and that’s a major flaw—but that still didn’t stop my enjoyment of the story. It was quite well written especially for having been written in the dawn of K/S, and it involved lots of Star Trek- type of stuff with the ship, the captain, Spock and McCoy. Actually, McCoy features prominently as he helps Spock rescue Kirk, but there’s more than just a glimmer of K/S here. As an example, when Spock and McCoy go into Kirk’s mental landscape to save him from dying, Spock expresses his love and need for Kirk. McCoy questions him about it afterwards, but Spock doesn’t say much and the story ends. “Alternative”, which I guess was written not long after, explores K/S much more directly through a series of poems and vignette-type stories that tell a little about what happened after the Orion incident. These need to be read with the first K/S in mind—a time and place that was the first blush of K/S. Reading these brought back many memories of my just reading the words: “they kissed” and falling into paroxysms of pleasure. Jay hopefully won’t mind my paraphrasing her when she said that those days were like being newlyweds and now we are in established relationships (Jenna will like that!). It’s not that we’ve lost any love for K/S, we’ve just grown into a more meaningful and fully-developed relationship.At any rate, the Orion zines are definitely worth reading and having for your collection. Take the opportunity now that they’re being reprinted to enjoy some wonderful early K/S—for its historical value if nothing else! 
Alternative: Epilog to Orion, which first appeared in 1976, is generally hailed as the first K/S zine. Fortunately it was not my first K/S zine, or it would surely have been my last. To be more specific, the first book offers a tantalizing, but rather vague, glimpse at the sheer joy and wondrous possibilities offered by a telepathic and sexual relationship between Kirk and Spock, while the second, and much longer book describes a number of years in an actual, and frankly rather unpleasant, K/S relationship which develops. The first book was of considerable interest to me, foremost for being such a seminal work in the development of the genre, but also because it holds much of interest all its own. Downes is an incredibly lyric writer, and in fact breaks into verse at critical points in the narrative. Her prose is a delight. The last section of book one is an ecstatic fantasy sequence in which Kirk and Spock merge, with somewhat cloudy reference points to actual physical sexuality (the line illustrations in the margins leaving considerably less to the imagination). It ends, rather disappointingly however, with the declaration that such a relationship could never be, no matter how beautiful. This I took, ideologically, as being akin to going up to the water, putting your toe in, admitting that it is indeed fine, and then shaking your foot off and declaring that you don't care for swimming anyway.
Years and years ago, I bought the original set from the author. Like you, I was less than thrilled, for all the reasons you said you were. And I was depressed for weeks after reading it. At the time, I thought there must be something wrong with me, because everyone else I knew was giving it glowing reports. Like you, I couldn't stand Spock suffering or Kirk either for that matter. I also can't stand Kirk depicted in that way, unfeelingly subjecting Spock to so much emotional turmoil. Also, the Christine Chapel part of the story gagged me!... So, thanks for expressing the same thoughts I didn't have the guts to express publicly and kept buried for all these years.
Leslie Fish was a part of fandom so early on that there was no established artistic canon for her to draw on. She writes “I thought mine were the first distinctly K/S illos to be published, but I’m probably wrong on that. I know that the illos for ‘A Fragment Out of Time’ and Alternative were really pretty innocuous, not definitively K/S, probably to avoid problems with the Post Office.” Now this is an interesting issue, because my copy of Alternative is, as Leslie says, “innocuous,” but Linda, my lovely assistant, has a copy with some rather less than innocuous images. I tried to discover whether there were maybe two versions, a US and an overseas one perhaps, but my investigations drew a blank, so it remains an unsolved mystery. Anyone out there know the answer? 
One of my favorite zines was Stardate: Unknown, published by an Alaskan editor named Gerry Downes. In 1976, Gerry sent out a flyer for something new to the zine world...a fanzine called Alternative, which would explore the possibility of a sexual relationship between Kirk and Spock. The flyer was very timid, including lots of warnings, and reassurances that if you bought the zine and hated it or were offended by it, you could return it for a full refund. I read the flyer and thought, “Ooooh—interesting!” I immediately wrote a check.... Alternative set off a brouhaha! Gerry was lucky she lived in Alaska; there were so many infuriated, outraged people out for her blood. She was trashed in the letter columns of newsletters and fan club publications and denounced at conventions. I know she got plenty of hate mail. The zine itself, however, was a bit of a disappointment. As I recall, Kirk and Spock don’t stay together at the end—and I wanted that happy ending for them! I was left wanting more.
Gerry Downes broke new ground by publishing the first K/S zine, Alternative: The Epilog to Orion, in 1976. She printed only a very few copies (there was a HUGE risk to circulating porn with gay characters), and distributed them mostly to trusted fan friends in other states. She encouraged the recipients to copy the zine, using Xerox machines which were just becoming fairly widely available in print shops, and to circulate and distribute those copies locally....Gerry was a Renaissance woman, pioneer, and dear friend. She broke through a lot of barriers in publishing the first zine about the emotional and physical love between Kirk & Spock. We lost her too soon to cancer, 17 years ago this month. But her legacy lives on… 
- from "Alternative" Thoughts (1978)
- from MPH's recollection of a conversation on a private mailing list
- 2001 The Nut Hatch Press flyer
- from Ann Carver in On the Double #2
- from The K/S Zine: The Time of the Beginning 1976-1985
- website where it was sold in 2001; reference link, accessed 2.17.2011
- comments by Sharon Ferraro in Menagerie #10
- from Time Warp #1
- from The Halkan Council #22 (September 1976)
- from Spectrum #29 (1976)
- from Probe #9
- When readers wrote to complain to Howlett, the author of the above review, he responded with a multi-page letter in Probe #10 (Open Letter by Winston A. Howlett Regarding His Review of "Alternative: Epilog to Orion") calling homosexuality a disgusting sin against nature and God, that homosexuals were no better than perverts and were all child molesters. The editor of R & R later comments on this review and the letter in her zine: "Winston's reply to letters attacking his review of 'Alternative': the review was not a review but an attack, and the reply is a fine example of what happens when you let yourself think with your convictions instead of your intellect." from R & R #3 (1976)
- from a review in Menagerie #9 (1977)
- from Implosion #5: (1977)
- from Implosion #6 (1977)
- from Fanzine Review 'Zine #2
- comments by Mandi Schultz in Implosion #6
- from Communicator #9 (1983)
- from. K/S & K.S. (Kindred Spirits) #10
- from K/S & K.S. (Kindred Spirits) #16
- from The LOC Connection #40
- quoted anonymously from Virgule-L, November 1993
- comment on Virgule-L, quoted anonymously (May 15, 1993)
- comment by Caren Parnes on Virgule-L, quoted with permission (May 3, 1996)
- from The K/S Press #37 (1999)
- June 1999 comments at Venice Place
- comments on a mailing list, quoted anonymously (July 30, 2000)
- from The K/S Press #67 (2002)
- from The K/S Press #77, as part of a review of The Compleat Alternative
- from The K/S Press #80 (May 2003) responds to a less-than-positive review in a previous issue of the letterzine
- from Dribbling Scribbling Women: The History of Our Art (2007)
- from Legacy Interview with Kathy Resch (2007)
- from Fandom Grandma (Dee) at Spockslash