The Bizarro Zine

Zine
Title:	The Bizarro Zine
Publisher:	Ashton Press
Editor(s):
Date(s):	1988-1992
Series?:
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Blake's 7
Language:	English
External Links:
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

The Bizarro Zine is a gen Blake's 7 anthology. The covers are by Leah Rosenthal.

It has a sister zine called The Bizarro Coloring Book.

NOTE: This page is about the zine series. For more information about this fan-created 'verse, see Bizarro Universe.

Summary

Summary from a distributor, Agent With Style:

Think Blake's 7 zines are too dark? Think they take themselves too seriously? Come read a series of parodies written by Ann Wortham and Leah Rosenthal, two of the best--and most hysterical--writers in this fandom! And find out just why Blake likes those ducks so much.

Slight Variations

From the editorial in issue #3, first printing:

For those of you who have always suspected, the answer is yes. We do slightly change and update the text of some of these BIZARRO classics on reprinting. These changes are usually very minor, and I don't think anyone except the serious aficionados of BIZARRO 7 (talk about a non-sequitur!) would notice the variations. Still, they can be fun because they often modify and satirize the original jokes themselves.

General Reactions and Reviews

Unknown Date

I cannot begin to describe how wonderful these are. Even people who never heard of B7 like them. Part of what makes them so funny, I think, is the completely deadpan approach to the wacky Bizarro Seven universe. The accompanying visuals help, too.

1990

One of the things that I think sets the BIZARRO stories apart from the other humorous &/or satire-parody series is that they are stories in their own right, with an internally consistant universe of reference points and realities. The people are as fully characterized as they are in many 'real' stories; Avon's accepting that Vila gets lonely fits and putting up with his chattering, as one example, yet It's all so marvelously skewed—in the middle of something serious, Vila's list of things not done yet include attending a NASFIC Con. (I think I have, once or twice. I think he'd have a riot; Vila'd fit into the fannish-party mode really well. My favorite illos included the concert scene with Avon in long hair and Roj looking like Springsteen; Avon throttling the bejesus out of Terrlck; Servalan wearing a pound of soot and a vicious look after the Blake twins from Hell blasted Space Central; and the mutoid troopers waiting patiently while Louise (she is a riot—I can see why Blake wanted to go to Cygnus Alpha) blasts Travis across the room.

I discovered BLAKES SEVEN this summer as it completed its final run on Channel 28. With a bit of calling around, I've managed since to see the whole series and stumbled upon BIZARRO along the way. I love BIZARRO. Your Avon is almost more wonderfully attractive than Paul's! I'd hate to see them meet the original versus the BIZARRO. Whew. And your Blake's definitely funnier than you-know-who. Gad, I miss them all.

I just finished reading BIZARRO ZINES #1 and #2, which I had picked up-at a convention a couple of weeks ago. You almost got me arrested, I was laughing so hard in a public place! They were great! I especially loved what you did with Jenna and Cally. All too often authers ignore them to concentrate on Blake and Avon. Thanks again for noticing the ladies! The illustrations were great, too. The Liberator in the parking lot was gut-splittingly funny...I am enclosing a s.a.s.e. so you can let me know when (I hope) you will publish BIZARRO #3...The zine that will rescue us all from our lack of things to laugh at in life!...I also await (with barely concealed skin rash) the BIZARRO COLORING ALBUM...

A friend of mine introduced me to zines a few months ago and now the addiction is insatiable. But to make matters worse, she let me read BIZARRO! I may have to sue you and Ann for internal injuries! Words fail me in really expressing my feelings about BIZARRO but thanks for creating it. What really amazes me is that no matter how "off the wall" the situation, I can see the "real" characters acting that way. With a whole new issue of BIZARRO

I may O.D...but laughing isn't a bad way to go...

1992

"There are now 4 volumes of the collected Bizarro stories, originally scattered through many op zines. This is the most alternative of alternative universes. It is absolutely hilarious, and must be seen to be believed. The illustrations by Leah R. are part of the experience."

1996

Bizarro is hilarious if you have the same sense of humour as the writers, and are familiar with the old movies they're cheerfully ripping off and poking fun at. It would probably pay to borrow a copy first or just buy one issue, and if you roll on the floor laughing at that one, then you'll roll on the floor laughing at all four. They are some very good cartoons in it.

2003

What's the first zine you read? Name the fandom if you can't name the zine.

One of the four Blake's 7 Bizarro zines by Leah Rosenthal and Annie Wortham, can't remember which one. I laughed so loudly and helplessly it unnerved the cats who fled the room. I bought the rest, two of them second-hand I think. Some of the humour is too American to really fit the British B7 (Halloween I ask?) but in this case they're so funny I just don't care.

2016

The tone of Blake's 7 was often dark, frequently even tragic. Unsurprisingly, much of the fiction of B7 fandom echoes this tone. Except for the wacky, subverted, Looney Tunes version to be found in Leah and Ann's Bizarro 7 Universe. These zines (and the delicious cartoon stylings of Leah Rosenthal) prompt the hapless reader to chuckles, snickers, snorts, and outright guffaws. They are a hoot, and I treasure their irreverence.

Issue 1

The Bizarro Zine 1 is a compilation of cartoons from other zines and 59 pages long. It was published in January 1988.

front cover of issue #1, Leah Rosenthal, note about the gold seal: "Authentic editions of this fanzine bear a color cover with an embossed gold seal. If your copy lacks either of these, it's a bootleg and should not have been sold to you because the people who worked so hard to produce it for you never got a penny for their efforts (and in some cases, will find it difficult to pay back the printer). If there are any subsequent printings of this volume, they will bear differences to distinguish them from the first edition; these differences will be noted on this page."

front cover of issue #1, Leah Rosenthal

back cover of issue #1, Lucy Carr

flyer for issue #1

All illustrations by Leah Rosenthal unless otherwise credited. The back cover is by Lucy Carr.

The zine is online here.

• Editorial (2)
• Interest Deferred, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("Vila pays a visit to a Federation bank -- and changes the destiny of the entire galaxy.") (reprinted from Prime Time #1) (4)
• Deductions, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("It's tax time on the Liberator and Fearless Leader is having a little trouble coping.") (6)
• The 12 Days of Christmas, filk by Cindy Henry and Kathy Coy (reprinted from Shadowstar #21/22) (9)
• Sundae Bloody Sundae, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("Avon is in a bad way and Blake and crew make a horrifying discovery about the computer expert's sick compulsion.") (reprinted from Magnificent Seven #3) (11)
• Take Me Out of This Series, filk by Celeste Hotling and Leah Rosenthal (14)
• Salvaged from the Liberator, illo by Leah Rosenthal (15)
• Wiener Take All, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("Horror reigns as Blake is bitten by a were-dachshund and Avon must seek a cure before Fearless Leader seriously embarrasses the Rebellion by eating his crew.") (new to this zine) (16)
• Yule Be Sorry, filk by Celeste Hoatling (36)
• Dancin' in the Streets, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("An 'innocent stop at a bar' with Vila is an oxymoron.") (reprinted from Southern Lights #2) (39)
• Salvaged from the Liberator, illo by Leah Rosenthal (In some issues/editions? At least one has "Avon Operations Manual" instead, see image below) (46)
• Trick or Treat, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("Blake has a plan to steal a vital piece of secret information from Space Commander Travis. Unfortunately, it's in Travis' apartment.") (reprinted from Scenario #2) (47)
• Salvaged from the Liberator, illo by Leah Rosenthal (56)
• Return to Whoopie Three, fiction by Ann Wortham, Leah Rosenthal, and Michele Rosenberg ("Break out the bright tropical shirts and pack your suitcases! An epic excursion jaunt to the vacation spot of the galaxy offers lots of fun for our rebel heroes. It also throws them into a bizarre series of misadventures.") (reprinted from Fantazy #3) (57)
• Private Eyes, fiction by by Leah Rosenthal ("That vital piece of secret information surfaces again to dramatic consequences!") (reprinted from Scenario #2) (84)
• Salvaged from the Liberator, illo by Leah Rosenthal (85)
• Story Hitlist (list of Leah and Annie's fiction and non-fiction published, and submitted, to zines) (86)

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

• 

  from issue #1

The Writers' Comments Regarding Specific Stories: Issue 1

[INTEREST DEFERRED: When a zine editor crisply informed us in '85 that they 'disapproved of B7 humor in general and BIZARRO in particular, we took it as a challenge. The result was this little tale, which is by far the most staid, calm and serious of all the BIZARRO stories. Yes, it is in the saga, and by far the earliest in the timeline written thus far. We do play earlier ones however, including the notorious TWO YOUNG and our BIZARRO pilot, THE BACK WAY. Well, the original disapproving editor rejected the story anyway, which is just as well because it turns out she's never published her zine since. INTEREST DEFERRED appeared in the genzine PRIME TIME #1, sans any illos, in 1986.

DEDUCTIONS: First appearing in the genzine SHADOWSTAR #21/22 in 1986, this is among the earliest of BIZARRO stories written. It also has the distinction of having been adapted to more mediums than any other BIZ7 story. Apart from the usual readings and the fictional version itself, DEDUCTIONS is featured on the upcoming BIZARRO audio tape (with Lois Indelicato doing her definitive vocals on the duck-loving rebel leader) and in 1987, this story was also adapted to script form for a SCORPIO Con contest. Readers seriously wishing to stage a performance of this story should contact Annie. Also their therapist. We might be persuaded to yield up the script format but it's far more likely that we will protect you from yourself...

TRICK OR TREAT: This was also an 'early' BIZARRO effort, although it doesn't take place early in the timeline. One giveaway is the complete absence of any mention of web-footed waterfowl in the original appearance of this story. It made its debut in the genzine SCENARIO #2 in June, 1986, and the mysterious redhead who makes such a fleeting appearance in Travis's bed developed into the one-and-only Lulabelle...not just your ordinary floozy, by any definition.

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAE: This infamous little vignette was born out of too many serious B7 stories where the poor computer expert seemed to be allergic to everything. The 'bit' about Avon's fondness for ice cream is actually in the series itself, or it was supposed to have been. In the original script of GAMBIT, there was apparently a scene cut where Avon had just discovered the concoction and is gorging himself on it to the point where Vila warns him he'll make himself sick. A single legacy of Avon's addiction to this dessert remains in the episode, however. Sharp-eyed viewers with a good copy can spot the empty parfait glass in one shot of the table in the gambling casino. It's probably part of the contents of this glass that Avon Is spitting...and they did leave in the line where he claims that he's going to be sick. Obviously, Avon wasn't completely cured of his addiction, despite the radical treatment Cally gives him in this story...as subsequent BIZARRO tales prove. SUNDAE BLOODY SUNDAE first appeared in MAGNIFICENT 7 #3 in 1986.

RETURN TO WHOOPIE THREE: This one was born out of personal experience. The Authors decided to do all of the amusement parks and attractions of Florida in the space of one week's vacation. At least, it felt that way! Anyway, this is the longest BIZARRO story thus far, and still one of my personal favorites. Believe it or not, this story was written in about a week. You see. there was this deadline we had to make for FANTAZY #3 in 1986. Because of FANTAZY's limited size format and the short timeframe, illustrations never accompanied the original version. This story introduced the popular B7 fan euphemism "Little Delta's Room".

PRIVATE EYES: By contrast, one of the shortest BIZARRO tales. It was generally meant to accompany TRICK OR TREAT as an epilogue, and immediately followed that story in SCENARIO #2 in 1986.

DANCIN' IN THE STREETS: The inspiration for this story is obvious to anyone who's watched MTV in the past couple of years. The concept is totally ridiculous, of course. I mean, can you see Avon standing on a stage, imitating some late rock idol? uh, you can? You've seen it? Well we hadn't, way back in '85 when we wrote it. DANCIN' IN THE STREETS debuted In SOUTHERN LIGHTS #2 in 1987.

WIENER TAKES ALL: Appears for the first time anywhere.

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

"INTEREST DEFERRED: When a zine editor crisply informed us in '85 that they 'disapproved of B7 humor in general and BIZARRO in particular', we took it as a challenge. The result was this little tale, which is by far the most staid, calm and serious of all the BIZARRO stories. Yes, it is in the saga, and by far the earliest in the timeline written thus far. We do play earlier ones however, including the notorious TWO Young and our BIZARRO pilot, THE WAY BACK. Well, the original disapproving editor rejected the story anyway, which is just as well because it turns out she's never published her zine since. INTEREST DEFERRED appeared in the genzine PRIME TIME #1, sans any illos in 1986.

DEDUCTIONS: First appearing in the genzine SHADOWSTAR #21/22 in 1986, this is among the earliest of BIZARRO stories written. It also has the distinction of having been adapted to more mediums than any other BIZ7 story. Apart from the usual readings and the fictional version itself, DEDUCTIONS is featured on the upcoming BIZARRO audio tape (with Lois Indelicato doing her definitive vocals on the duck-loving rebel leader) and in 1987, this story was also adapted to script form for a SCORPIO Con contest. Readers seriously wishing to stage a performance of this story should contact Annie. Also their therapist. We might he persuaded to yeild up the script format but it's far more likely that we will protect you from yourself...

TRICK OR TREAT: This was also an 'early' BIZARRO effort, although it doesn't take place early in the timeline. One giveaway is the complete absence of any mention of web-footed waterfowl in the original appearance of this story. It made its debut in the genzine SCENARIO #2 in June, 1986, and the mysterious redhead who makes such a fleeting appearance in Travis's bed developed into the one-and-only Lulabelle..-not just your ordinary floozy, by any definition.

SUNDAE BLOODY SUNDAE: This infamous little vignette was born out of too many serious B7 stories where the poor computer expert seemed to be allergic to everything. The 'bit' about Avon's fondness for ice cream is actually in the series itself, or It was supposed to have been. In the original script of GAMBIT, there was apparently a scene cut where Avon had just discovered the concoction and is gorging himself on it to the point where Vila warns him he'll make him-self sick. A single legacy of Avon's addiction to this dessert remains in the episode, however. Sharp-eyed viewers with a good copy can spot the empty parfait glass in one shot of the table in the gambling casino. It's probably part of the contents of this glass that Avon is spitting...and they did leave in the line where he claims that he's going to be sick. Obviously, Avon wasn't completely cured of his addiction, despite the radical treatment Cally gives him in this story...as subsequent BIZARRO tales prove. SUNDAE BLOODY SUNDAE first appeared in Magnificent Seven #3 in 1986.

RETURN TO WHOOPIE THREE: This one was born out of personal experience. The Authors decided to do all of the amusement parks and attractions of Florida in the space of one week's vacation. At least, it felt that way! Anyway, this is the longest BIZARRO story thus far, and still one of my personal favorites. Believe it or not. this story was written in about a week. You see. there was this deadline we had to make for FANTAZY #3 in 1986. Because of FANTAZY's limited size format and the short timeframe, illustrations never accompanied the original version. This story introduced the popular B7 fan euphemism "Little Delta's Room."

PRIVATE EYES: By contrast, one of the shortest BIZARRO tales. It was generally meant to accompany TRICK OR TREAT as an epilogue, and immediately followed that story in SCENARIO #2 in 1986.

DANCIN' IN THE STREETS: The inspiration for this story is obvious to anyone who's watched MTV in the past couple of years. The concept is totally ridiculous, of course. I mean, can you see Avon standing on a stage, imitating some late rock idol?... uh, you can? You've seen it? Well, we hadn't, way back in '85 when we wrote it. DANCIN' IN THE STREETS debuted in SOUTHERN LIGHTS #2 in 1987.

WIENER TAKE ALL: Appears here for the first time anywhere.

If your favorite story has not appeared in this Volume, it's probably because A) it's still in print elsewhere B) we didn't have enough room or C) we didn't bloody well feel like it, okay? Seriously, we intend to keep gathering and releasing BIZARRO tales but bear in mind that we will always wait until they have gone out of print first, out of courtesy to zine editors...so you will probably not want to wait that long to see them! Our thanks to the many zine editors who've hosted our stuff, and granted permission for reprint.

I recently got my BIZARRO ZINE #1 back from a friend who had borrowed it about 5 months ago. In doing so, I had to re-read It again. Yes, re-read again. I guess I am a glutton for punishment. I would like you to know that I enjoyed the zine Immensely. The tongue-in-cheek humor had be laughing (and dancing) in the streets. (Pun definitely intended.) My family is immeasurably grateful that this zlne has brought me out of Innumerable bad moods (If you think Avon shoving Vila out an air lock is bad behavior...)

I loved BIZARRO ZINE #1, which arrived yesterday. It had a very corrosive effect on my determination to finally get some work done on my dissertation, but I don't consider the time I spent reading it wasted at all--I can't remember when I've laughed so hard at something I've read. I particularly like the way you (plural, to include your collaborator) highlight the inherent comedy of B7 characters and situations without making them stupid or parodies. It's hard enough to be funny, without undercutting the reasons people love B7 in the first place. And the illos can practically stand on their own—those are always the first thing I look at in a zine, and in this case I was nearly hysterical before I ever read a word. Congratulations, and keep it up!

Issue 2

issue #2

flyer for issue #2

The Bizarro Zine 2 is subtitled "Nova." It was published in January 1989 and is 122 pages long. This is a collection of 7 stories interspersed with 7 cartoons.

The zine is online here.

From the editorial:

Welcome back! Hope you all had a spiffy year and that you'll find an annual dose of merriment inside these pages. First off, a great big THANK YOU to all the fans who helped make VOLUME #1 a tremendous hit. To someone more used to a sedate print run of 200 per issue (WIDE OPEN SPACES), the 500 copy sell-out of BIZARRO ZINE #1 was staggering, to say the least. It was also delightful listening to Bizarro-isms creeping into common usage during the past couple of years. Annie and I take no blame for ruining the reputation of a perfectly good species of bird for you all. Mankind has been picking on the hapless duck for a long, long time. Face it; the duck is Nature's comedy relief.

Some readers may wonder why Annie and I are stern about protecting the use of Bizarro in fanlit, even from those who are so appreciative. Unhappily, there is good reason. Rather than go into a lecture, I'll cite an example for you of what can happen. A friend of ours who also writes B7 literature composed and wrote a terrific B7 story with a smashing original idea to it. This friend submitted the story for publication, but there was a long delay before the zine went to press. In the meantime, another fan who had been temporarily rooming with our friend read this story, and she loved it too...so much so, in fact, that her admiration compelled her to write a sequel, without the consent of the Author. I suppose she regarded it as a tribute or something. Also without the consent of the original Author, this admirer submitted the sequel for publication in another zine. It was published long before the original story finally saw print! Needless to say, this is only one way in which the best of intentions can lead to the worst. The highest reward that any writer should expect is that people come to trust their work enough to keep giving them a try. To keep reading. Many, MANY thanks to you all for your appreciation. We notice, and it helps keep us going.

You'll know that this is an authentic copy of BIZARRO ZINE #2 by the color cover; bootleggers are far too cheap to bother. The first print run of January, 1989 is 400 copies.

• Editorial (2)
• Letters of Comment (4)
• One Alpha to Go ("Avon is abducted. Unless Blake and company can rescue him, he is doomed to be the main attraction and chief bon-bon at Madam Kat's House of Alpha Delights.") (5)
• Intergalactic Velvet ("Blake isn't going to miss this famous annual horse race, and he isn't going to lose--even if it means Avon has to ride his nemesis, Homicide the horse.") (From the editorial: "A small bit of trivia: the cartoon at the end of INTERGALACTIC VELVET was the very first BIZARRO 7 illustration I ever did, back in October 1985. It actually predates BIZARRO itself and was an experimental piece.") (16)
• Galactic News (30)
• Relativity ("Blake and company meet one of the principal reasons why Kerr Avon is screwed up; his brother Terrick, who seems to have arrived to finish the job.") (32)
• White Noise, filks by Roxie Ray and Cathy Boudreau (46)
• Bonk the Seven ("Get-um stories are great -- but what happens when everybody's hurt and there's nobody left to comfort?") (47)
• Rebel Radio ("Blake believes that music hath the charm to make the masses rebel, and sets out to assemble a massive pop concert to broadcast across the Federation…with the Liberator as the stage.") (50)
• Absence Report by Michele Rosenberg (68)
• The Bizarro Zone ("An ancient evil returns from the mists of time and invades the Liberator. Orac grows legs. Giant demons lurk the corridors of the ship. Can Zen be exorcised in time?") (69)
• Galactic News (83)
• Galactic News (84)
• Voice From The Pest ("Rebellion or no rebellion, Blake's most terrifying arch nemesis -- his ex wife -- insists that he take the kids this weekend. This gives Space Commander Travis a brilliant idea.") (85)
• Galactic News (122)

• 

  copyright printed in issue #2, first page (some issues, not others?)

• 

  copyright printed in issue #2, second page (some issues, not others?)

• 

  inside issue #2 -- From the editorial: "A small bit of trivia: the cartoon at the end of INTERGALACTIC VELVET was the very first BIZARRO 7 illustration I ever did, back in October 1985. It actually predates BIZARRO itself and was an experimental piece."

• 

  from issue #2

• 

  from issue #2

• 

  from issue #2

• 

  from issue #2

• 

  from issue #2

• 

  from issue #2

• 

  from issue #2

The Writers' Comments Regarding Specific Stories: Issue 2

ONE ALPHA TO GO: This was the story that introduced the 'Silver Alpha' concept. In a universe that seemed populated by attractive individuals (maybe they exile the ugly ones to Maalodar?) let's face it — Kerr Avon stood out like a petite four amongst the donuts. It stands to reason that with all those greedy characters in the Federation, someone's going to try to capitalize on such a resource. Making their first appearances here were also Madam Kat and Shooghin the Bounty Huntress, who are actually based on Katrlna and Susanne of HELHOUND fame. The sort-of sequel story, LITTLE ORPHAN ALPHA, will be featured in VOLUME #3. ONE ALPHA TO GO made its debut in the genzine PRIME TIME #1 in May of 1986.

INTERGALACTIC VELVET: One of the earliest Bizarro tales written, it's also a favorite with readers. It was here that we got our first glimpse into the weird and tormented family life of Kerr Avon, mostly through his weird and tormenting elder brother. The name "Terrick", like Avon's allergies, was not a Bizarro invention. It was a sort of tradition in B7 fan literature that had gained general acceptance through common use (rather than any evidence in the actual series). In fact, the bit about the allergies had become something of a cliche even back before the 'second wave' of B7 fanlit — and far be it from us to ignore such a tempting target. As for Terrick...well, we figured somebody like Avon deserved Somebody like Terrick. NOBODY deserves Homicide, however, who first appeared here. Believe it or not, this animal actually exists, and has received many awards for his high marks in dressage (the horsie equivalent of 'good manners'!). It was with some gleeful irony that an unsuspecting actor was persuaded to ride said horsie for our back cover photo. INTERGALACTIC VELVET first rode forth in SOUTHERN SEVEN #l in November, 1986.

RELATIVITY: ...And so did this story. Terrick Avon turned out to be wildly popular with readers and truth to tell, we're rather fond of the suave sadist ourselves. Rest assured that he will keep returning to bedevil his younger brother and the universe in general for 'seasons' to come. The 'Hells Alphas' were first mentioned here too.

BONK THE SEVEN: Confess—how many of us savor the really juicy get-ums? Most of us quail and moan at the onset of a headache, but we think nothing of putting the characters we're supposed to adore through the most unbelievable torment to break through to their tender, bunny-fur-lined inner psyches (apologies to Kathy Cox). So, what would happen if everybody has been hurt, and therefor a slight technical problem. There's nobody left to comfort. OUTLANDS first introduced this story in its Volume #10 - 1987.

REBEL RADIO: For some reason, modern music and 87 seem to go together — particularly a lot of the current popular New Wave music. This is probably because many of the lyrics dolefully angst about insurmountable social issues, political activism and very difficult relationships nowadays. Anyway, back in 1986 when Annie and I did this story, we took our cue from all the gigantic music benefits that were running rampant at the time. For the record, "Wink and Oink" actually exist; they were based on the rock group Blancmange, we appeared briefly on a TV screen in the Disney movie FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR. Although the group has disbanded (they were too volatile and unstable to exist for a sustained length of time), their albums are still very popular. This story is another popular favorite with readers, originally appearing in ALMOST ANYTHING GOES AROUND TWICE, which has been in continual reprint since July 1986...we like to think the story had something to do with it. And in case you were wondering...yes, Avon's daddy was listening. He is not pleased. Stay tuned!

THE BIZARRO ZONE: It's one thing to write a silly story. It's another to watch in fascinated horror as tne actor who 'presented the character re-enacts a scene from that story onstage. Those who attended SCORPIO CON 4 in '87 witnessed just such an inadvertent staging of the 'exorcism' scene from this story (and several others) during the art auction. Not something that we'll ever forget! This tale pays partial homage to GHOSTBUSTERS, one of the classics of recent filming comedy, and also to POLTERGEIST. Hmmm. Americans seem to be hung up on dead things lately, don't they? 'Porkchop' makes his first incarnation here as Vila's childhood nemesis. THE BIZARRO ZONE first appeared in B7 COMPLEX #9 in August of 1986.

VOICE FROM THE PEST: This one's brand new. Hope you enjoy it!

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

The sillier the concept, the more likely it is Rosenthal and Wortham have already done it. Bizarro #2, the one where Blake finds the galaxy’s largest transmitter dish, and Avon convinces him to intersperse the speeches with a charity concert so the galaxy doesn’t get bored and fall asleep. (Avon having been a rock star in his youth.)

...There's no such thing as too much BIZARRO 7. They may not all have me laughing out loud, but they are always good for a smile, and the best B7 spoof around, maybe because—lunatic as they are—everyone is still in character. And it'll be nice to read some of the installments I've missed.

The stories are GREAT! I loved finding out that the Liberator is a garbage scow, and the werewolf story was hilarious. I hope you will be doing a second volume"! Your editorial states that you two authors actually have this series planned to go somewhere, and I'd love to see where it ends up. (where else? Gauda Prime. —Ed.)

BIZARRO #1 now has a home on my bookshelf crammed there between all 16 issues of B7 COMPLEX (the most I've ever bought in one swelled foop!) and everything else B7-1sh I could lay my hot little paws on...In looking through the zine for the um-teeth time, my favorite stories are DEDUCTIONS and SUNDAE, BLOODY SUNDAE. It was a tie. The best illo (not the cover or the photographs—or ads for that matter) was undoubtedly on page 20. Page 29 ran a close second. But you know what they say: 'close only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades'.

About a year ago, I was visiting a buddy of mine In Florida, we were driving back from Omnicon when she handed be one of her many zines and, snickering, told me to read this one story. It was THROWING IT ALL AWAY. I laughed through the whole trip back and demanded to see every other BIZARRO story she had—unfortunately she only had a few more. Well, I went back to see her again this year — Omnicon again, only Paul Darrow was there this time (yay! Yeah, it is weird when Avon starts writing get-Avon stories, isn't it, but it's nice to see one of the stars being a fan, too) — and oh, fabulous day, I saw the first BIZARRO 7 collection. First zine I bought in years—I am not, overall, a major zine fan, but BIZARRO's special. I have had more fun reading it— probably most of all because your caricatures are so right on target; they're almost not caricatures at all-Vila writing trashy novels fits perfectly, and Avon's passion for ice cream, well—I've always thought Avon had a closet sweet tooth. And Leah's cartoons are priceless (good cover too, by the way)...So yes, I would like notification of Volume 2 (my s.a.s.e. should be in here somewhere). And what's this about audio tape? (I'm working on it. —Ed.) Are you going to be putting that out anytime soon, or were you dangling it just out of reach to torture us. Also, how about a collection of your "Tour of Duty" quotes—I'm still laughing over the one about the gas cap being loose. Yes, you've got a hungry fan here; I enjoy BIZARRO even more than the original series (and I liked the series a lot), and I look forward to seeing more of it in the future.

Like you, I've gone through a lot of B7 fan fiction in the last year-or-so (post discovery of B7). You're right—the stuff is, for the most part, grim. Interesting to read once, but not something I'd want around the house. The BIZARRO stuff, on the other hand*, I can reread frequently, which is why I bought your zine...what I find really Interesting about your writing (and not just the BIZARRO stories—SEASON OF LIES also, for one) is that the dialog Is right. When a fan writer (or a pro, come to that) is believable for me, I can "hear" the actors saying the lines. This happens frequently with your stories—frighteningly often, with the BIZARRO ones. I love it! Anyway, keep up the good work and all that—you're definitely appreciated out here in the wilds of L.A.!

I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed VOLUME #1. I read it on the train into the city one day and the person next to me became so intrigued with the pictures she asked where she could buy it. I let her read It over my shoulder (I'm not about to lend it out to anyone yet, not even if they are in the same room). I loved INTEREST DEFERRED. It will be something to help me to chuckle when I'm doing my banking. I couldn't stop laughing over WEINER TAKE ALL. I gave my students some free reading time but I kept laughing so hard they couldn't read. I had to put the zine away and read something more mundane like King Lear. A few months ago I had read DANCIN' IN THE STREETS. I think it's still my favorite. Just to Imagine Avon and Vila belting out songs...1 just love it. Thanks again for putting all the stories In one place. Now when I want to get cheered up after a particularly bad day teaching, I only have to go to one zine instead of half a dozen.

Quite honestly, BIZARRO ZINE #1 saved me from getting very nervous on the way back to St. Louis. Coming to DSV was the first time I've ever flown anywhere, and when the pilot on the return flight announced that there was going to be a slight delay because of poor weather conditions (freezing rain and fog in St. Louis) I almost lost what few marbles I possess. Thank God for some highly diverting reading matter—by the time we actually got off the ground, I was all but rolling in the aisles. I loved WEINER TAKE ALL, what with Travis and a hairy Blake and all...also Avon's family physician...and that incredible shower scene (love the little "A" on you-know-who's skinny little rump). Also really liked RETURN TO WHOOPIE THREE. It's getting to the point where I enjoy ORAC and Zen's verbal duels as much as Vila's and Avon's. The little filler bits scattered throughout the entire zine are fun and totally unexpected, popping up just about anywhere, including in the middle of the usual flyers at the back.

I just finished reading BIZARRO ZINE #2 and I had to write and tell what a great Job you and Ann have done. As a matter of fact I laughed so hard I scared my dog. When I read that you plan to reprint the first Issue if the demand is great enough, I had to write and reserve one. It appears I've managed to get hooked on BIZARRO 7.... Thanks for all the laughs!

BIZARRO ZINE #2 is wonderful! I laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks, I also had to chase my 15 year old son around the house to get it back from him—so here are two s.a.s.e.'s; one for me and one for him. He can get his own BIZARRO ZINE (motherly love goes only so far).

Your BIZARRO ZINES are just the thing I need to counteract the gloom-and-doom present in the original B7 series. There's madness in your method—and I love it! The very first one I read was "Rebel Radio", in its original appearance. I found it hilarious—but forgot it afterwards. Thought it was a one-shot. Then, I discovered "Intergalactic Velvet" and "Relativity". The laughs started in earnest! I was hooked—especially by Terrick's ability to drive everyone, even the egotistical ORAC to homicide. DALLAS, DYNASTY and KNOTS LANDING have nothing on the tales of the Avon family! I'm eagerly awaiting the reactions of Avon's daddy when he discovers he has a new son: Vila! That just might eclipse the Nova revival! I'm also wondering if you'll be having a future story detailing Jenna's and Vila's raid on Servalan's library to get that remaining copy of Rebel Without His Clothes. Sounds like just the gift that lovely smuggler would like to have! One other request: if Avon and Vila belt out songs again, how about the Steenite Roj joining in? That should clear the whole planet of ducks!... I'm glad you're collecting the BIZARRO stories. While I was a bit disappointed that Volume #2 consisted mostly of stories I'd already read, "Voice From the Pest" made up for 1t. I loved Avon's reactions on discovering the real basis of his encounters with Blake. I also enjoyed his winning ways with Roj Jr. and Rojina at bedtime; if you can't beat them, terrorize them! Needless to say, these two little monsters could present a whole new front to the Federation. I wonder how Servalan would fare against them? She'd probably run, screaming for her life!

Finished reading BIZARRO ZINE #2—Bravo! I laughed myself sick at the spell for giant duck exorcism. And I have a new all-time-favorite story now: "Relativity" (you'd better reprint the story with Avon's family hunt soon or I'm going to be unhappy)... So I'm sending another s.a.s.e. for whenever you decide to do #3 ... As a devout Holmesian (or is it Sherlockian? I forget), I would like to know if Blake ever reads Hound of the Baskervilles... Are you only going to do one volume a year? Gad, must I wait that long?

I laughed so loudly while reading BIZARRO ZINE 02 that my mother started to worry about me. The stories are terrific! I loved the foreshadowing (a mark of quality literature, as Berke Breathed points out). "Bizarro Zone was wonderful. How else would you exorcise a giant duck? "Voice From The Pest" is my favorite (although I love then all). So the great hero Blake started his career of rebellion so he could get away from his ex-wife, who, doesn't care what he does to the Federation as long as he pays his child support. I also liked Mutoid Troopers Bodie and Doyle, and the revelation that Vila was the real father of Travis's children!

I thought I would write and let you know what I thought of Bizzaro #2. First of all I want you to know that it took me a week to read it and it's all your fault. I was reading along -- minding my own business when suddenly I hit page 49. There was Servalan in a diamond-studded diaper. I went into hysterics and had to stop reading. And for two days, every time I even though about picking the zine up again, I'd start to snicker. So on the fourth day I was finally able to overcome my hysterics and read the rest. Also, the Sesame Street reference about ducks and saxophones on page 57 was a riot... as was the rest of the zine!

Thank you, thank you, thank you...and 'gromek' ever so much for sending me that copy of BIZARRO ZINE 02. While not a fan of BLAKE'S 7 to any great degree, I have enjoyed some of the shows and hope to catch up on certain ones I have heard about or which have become (in)famous in the annals of B7 fandom. I have been aware of the twisted tales created by yourself and your partner-in-literary-crime Ann Wortham for a couple of years, ever since I found some issues of B7 COMPLEX at a convention. This was followed by a fan I know sending me some examples of your other sagas in the lunatic zone In exchange for [some] of my own twisted tales, which I have a feeling you have had to have seen...at the very least if you have kept up with Jeff Morris's zines. I hope so, but of course, I can't be sure...I've been having this mind-wipe problem lately, you see. You guys have got me hooked on your sagas, especially after such tales as "Wiener Take All", "Dancin' in the Streets", any of the ones that look at Avon's family (loved the bits with "Daddy" in "Head Over Heels"!) and "Kind of a Drag". Keep wondering If Avon will eventually display vampiric tendencies somewhere along the line ala "Daddy"...? ... The stories collected in BZ #2 made me regret that I missed the originals...

Issue 3

front cover issue #3

inside back cover of issue #3

back cover of issue #3

The Bizarro Zine 3 was published in 1990 and contains 122 pages of reduced print.

The color cover is by Leah Rosenthal. All the stories are by Leah Rosenthal and Anne Collins Smith unless otherwise indicated.

The zine is online here.

From the editorial:

Howdy, y'all! Welcome back. Once again, many thanks are due to the multifarious readers (at last count, over 600) that helped BIZARRO ZINE #2 become an even bigger hit than #1. We keep going back to press for reprints of both...

For those of you who have always suspected, the answer is yes. We do slightly change and update the text of some of these BIZARRO classics on reprinting. These changes are usually very minor, and I don't think anyone except the serious aficionados of BIZARRO 7 (talk about a non-sequitur!) would notice the variations. Still, they can be fun because they often modify and satirize the original jokes themselves.

• Editorial (2)
• Letters of Comment (4)
• A New Leaf, story (7)
• Little Orphan Alpha, story ("In a concert of bad timing, Blake mindwipes and retrogresses back to his youth as a street thug, just as Avon is abducted by a bounty hunter and ends up back in Madam Kat's. Total mayhem ensues.") (8)
• Kerr Maverick, filk by Leah Rosenthal (27)
• Duped Again, story ("Some of Liberator's crew are laid up at the Clonemasters hospital. Their physician is a madman with half his face in a mask and their candy-striper is a madman with one of his eyes in a patch.") (28)
• Detour, story ("It was only a scratch--or so Avon thought. (46)
• Throwing It All Away, story ("Depressed over the death of Gan, Blake runs away to Spitworld. There, completely soused, he and Travis set off on a series of drunken adventures together.") (48)
• Put Down the Duckie, filk by Anne Collins Smith (65)
• Sweet, Savage Soma, story ("Nobody really understands Jenna's fondness for lurid romantic literature. Nobody, that is, but one other member of the crew.") (66)
• Silver Alpha, filk by Mary Orwig (69)
• Head Over Heels, story ("The annual Avon family dinner and glix hunt proves to be almost too much for Blake and his followers. Will Vila be eaten by the carnivorous glix? Will Homicide finally even an old score with Kerr Avon? Will Supreme Commander Servalan finally get her hooks into Avon, for that matter? Or is she more interested in Vila...? And then there's… Daddy. Bizarro 7 all the way.") (70)
• Homicide, filk by Kim Wigmore (91)
• Against All Odds, story (92)
• Send Me the Bill, collage (98)
• Kind of a Drag, story ("Another brilliant plan by the intrepid hero of the rebellion involves lots of make-up and a lovely number from the Liberator's wardrobe room. And Avon.") (reprinted from Southern Lights #3) (100)
• 5th Season Openers, article (112)
• Hit List 1990 (115)

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

The Writers' Comments Regarding Specific Stories: Issue 3

HEAD OVER HEELS: Originally appeared in SOUTHERN SEVEN #1. This is by far one of the most popular BIZ 7 tales. Readers will be either pleased or horrified to know that we will be encountering the Avon family en masse again in future stories. And don't be smug. I dare anyone of you out there to tell me that you don't feel a wee bit uncomfortable about introducing your friends to your own families...although thankfully, not many of us have Terricks to worry about.

A NEW LEAF: A little 'what if' excursion involving Roj "you are what you read" Blake, and the dangers of travelling with him. Also appeared in SOUTHERN SEVEN #1 in November, 1986.

DETOUR: This inane shortie first appeared in B7 COMPLEX #8 in May, 1986. Like BONK THE SEVEN of last issue, it was provoked by exposure to far too many Avon 'get-urns'...and probably staying up too late one night at some con or something.

SWEET, SAVAGE SOMA: Hey, a guy with as many smarts as Vila Restal doesn't just come along 'for the ride'. Not when he's travelling on a ship like LIBERATOR, with a batch of characters like Blake's crew. If he has any sense at all, he does what you or I would do...write about them! First appeared in B7 COMPLEX #12 in July, 1987.

KIND OF A DRAG: Upon seeing the illos for this story, a certain actor's wife was heard to comment to a certain actor, "Look dear. you have a lovely bosom..." I didn't hear much of what followed, as I was crawling under a table at the time. We get to meet Lulabelle Travis once more in this little romp, as well as several other Federation...er, figures First appearance in SOUTHERN LIGHTS #3, back in May, 1987.

FIFTH SEASON OPENERS: First appeared in SOUTHERN SEVEN #1 back in November 1986. It was one of the first B7 pieces we ever did, and I don't need to point out how we got 'inspired' to write this feature. I do recommend you read it again...we've updated it a bit (heh heh)...

THROWING IT ALL AWAY: I confess that this is another one of my personal favorites. It is also one of the most 'important' BIZARRO 7 stories in terms of set-up for events to come in this whacky little universe. Many thanks are due to Deb Walsh, who was kind enough to offer me the use of her excellent layouts for this and the other two B7 COMPLEX stories in this issue for reprint. THROWING IT ALL AWAY first appeared in B7 COMPLEX #10 in January, 1987.

DUPED AGAIN: Is our brand-new BIZARRO bon-bon. Hope you enjoy it!

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

See reactions and reviews for Kind of a Drag.

Loved BIZARRO ZINE #3--it came at a real good time, too. I needed something to cheer me up. Some things make me laugh, but they also make you feel empty inside; Bizarro's just plain, good-natured fun (It also reminds me that while I got into B7 1n the first place because of Avon—didn't we all?—the more I'm exposed to it, the more I prefer Vila, and the more I prefer other people who also prefer Vila. Strange, yes?)...Ah, you printed "Head Over Heels," As much fun as I anticipated it would be. I look forward to seeing more of the Avon family. And it was nice to see "Throwing it All Away" again; "Relativity" has edged It into second place in the running for my personal, all-time favorite (nothing can beat the en masse, simultaneous decision to throw Terrick out the airlock), but it's close. "Fifth Season Openers" reminds me to ask you, any chance of printing some of those "Tour of Duty" quotes? Everything else is great fun, as always...

I very much enjoyed BIZARRO #3, especially, of course, "Head Over Heels." Terrick was his usual charming self. I must protest the violent ending, though...how could anyone muss my honey, especially a self-righteous rebel like Blake?! I shall have to report you to the Jesse Helms Committee Against Abuse of Cute Blond Guys. *Ahem* Getting back to the zine, the color cover illo was perfect. The new, improved "Fifth Season Openers" and "Duped Again" were other highlights in this firth of mirth.

BIZARRO ZINE #3 arrived not long ago, and I wanted to write and let you know how much I enjoyed it. I loved the cover! And what a nice surprise to find the drawing you did for me on the first few pages. You included some of my personal favorites—particularly "Sweet Savage Soma" and "Against All Odds", and one I'd not had a chance to j read before--"Little Orphan Alpha." I especially enjoyed your newest one "Duped Again". It was great read aloud as a "bedtime story" by my friend Kaye while we were at ORAC. She even does a great French accent. Now we know the great secret of the Clonemasters was a Xerox machine in the basement. I wonder why two of those nurses seem; somehow familiar... Also, thanks for reprinting the "Fifth Season Openers". We were in hysterics over those, and particularly appreciated the updated revisions. By the way, your "Send Me the Bill" feature prompted me to send along the enclosed clipping from a mail order catalog—the perfect gift for the rebel that has everything, the Quacking Duck Telephone. I'm also looking forward to the BIZARRO COLORING BOOK, although I think I'll have to order at least two copies—one for myself and one for my youngest son, who keeps trying to color in the drawings in my zines. (He's also the one who loves your Silver Alpha drawing--"Look, Mom, Avon's got buns!" I think there's something not quite right about that child...)

Okay, this is probably gonna sound strange, but hey, what the hell, I'll tell you anyway: Up until MEDIAWEST'CON X, I had absolutely no interest in BLAKES 7—I'd never seen an episode and didn't know Thing One about the show, and I was all prepared to hate it. Then, I picked up a copy of BIZARRO ZINE #3 at the aforementioned con, and all was lost. I've been converted! To BIZARRO 7, if not BLAKES 7 (I still have yet to see an actual episode). I confess, I originally bought the zine solely for the incredible artwork (which I greatly admire, but that almost goes without saying—*bow, scrape*). Then I started thinking, hey these illos are a hoot, but I haven't got a clue what's going on in them...so I had to break down and read the stories. I had the best time with that zine— it was a total scream, even without prior knowledge of the B7 characters. Now that's good writing, when the authors can make stuff crystal clear to an utterly ignorant reader like myself. But the even greater accomplishment is that reading it made me want to watch B7! {This is too scary.) I like the way you write Vila—I've heard people who have watched the show say Vila's a sleazeball, but he's turned out to be my fave BIZARRO 7 character. So sue me! Of course, I still don't get a lot of the references (like this weird duck thing Blake's got?) but there are enough that I do understand to make it well worth the time (I love the "Suzi Lovett border" reference In "Duped Again"!).

Issue 4

front cover issue #4

back cover of issue #4

The Bizarro Zine 4 was published in 1992 and contains 116 pages.

• Editorial (2)
• Letters of Comment (6)
• Serving Under Servalan, filk by Jane Mailander (8)
• The Heat Is On, fiction ("The Shatae slavers were once only a legend, but Blake and his crew, not to mention Servalan and Travis, soon have reason to believe in them when they are all taken prisoner. Will Avon survive being "mated" to Peggy Sue Servalan? More importantly, will the crew survive having to eat Servalan's cooking??") (9)
• Good To The Last Drop (33)
• Vila Don't Lose My Number, fiction ("Crockett and Tubbs pick up an odd, shady little character on the streets of Miami.") (35)
• Mutual Policy, fiction ("After two years with a crew like his, you'd think Blake would have taken out some insurance.") (44)
• Un-zine (list of zines that do not exist) (46)
• Cash On Deliverance, fiction ("Vila's addiction to the Dome Shopping Club channel may be the Liberator's ruination--or it's salvation.") (49)
• All I Need is a Miracle, fiction (54)
• On the Flight Deck, filk by Leah Rosenthal (to the tune of 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred) (57)
• Still the Dead, fiction ("A blood-sucking horror haunts the house where a stranded Blake and his crew are spending the night. To make matters worse, Avon's got a cold. Hey, we've got a sense of priorities, here!") (58)
• Passing the Quakers (64)
• Suit Yourself, fiction ("Vila has destroyed the contents of the wardrobe room on Liberator. He and Avon are sent to Pennyworld, an enormous planet-sized mall with a credit card and a mission….") (66)
• Dancin' With My Duck, filk by Leah Rosenthal and MR (to the tune of Bruce Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark) (75)
• Hernia, fiction ("Destiny comes calling for Blake in the depths of the forest--and he mindwipes.") (76)
• Bizarro!, filk by Anne Collins Smith (to the TV theme song of "Zorro") (79)
• Bad Bad Rebel Scum, filk by Jane Mailander (to the tune of "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" by Jim Croce) (80)
• Gumbit, fiction ("A secret recipe for Time Lord brownies, Reptilian clean freaks, Orac as Tupperware and homicidal chairs. The Bizarro 7 version of what happened on the Rink.") (81)
• "The Place Where Blake Is", filk by Anne Collins Smith (to the tune of "My Fair Lady") (97)
• Duckie To Quack, filk by Anne Collins Smith (to the tune of "Ticket To Ride') (99)
• Seems Like Old Times, fiction ("It was only going to be an innocent evening of fine dining at Woodyfroom's Place. That was before Tarrant went berserk with the cocktail umbrellas and Dayna started stealing the silverware and stuffing it down her cleavage.") (100)
• In the Hair Tonight, filk by Anne Collins Smith (to the tune of Phil Collins "In The Air Tonight") (110)
• Stray Thoughts, fiction ("What if Spock recaptured the wrong katra atop Mount Sileya on Vulcan?") (111)
• Can't Compute, filk by Leah Rosenthal (to the tune of Phil Collins "I Can't Dance") (114)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

Even as I'm typing this letter, I'm listening to sniggers and choked laughter from my co-author, Peter as he is reading Bizarro Zine #4. Still the Dead and Seems Like Old Times are my favorites; behavior such as the kind displayed in S.L.O.T. makes it very easy to understand Avon's actions (such as they may be) on Gauda Prime...