ASCEM History ... before we loose it...

Meta
Title:	ASCEM History ... before we loose it...
Creator:	original poster was Stephen Ratliff, includes other posters
Date(s):	February 15, 2008
Medium:	online USENET post
Fandom:	Star Trek
Topic:
External Links:	ASCEM History ... before we loose it...
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

ASCEM History ... before we loose it... was a 2008 series of posts that discuss early ASCEM history.

Some Topics Discussed

• TSU
• LiveJournal
• various fans
• mailing list culture on ASCEM
• ASCEM

Excerpts

[Stephen Ratliff]:

You see, I marginally fall in what you might call the founding group/generation of writers and participants on ASCEM. (I say marginally, because though I was an ASC* Admin at the time of ASCE and then ASCEM's founding, I didn't really get involved in ASCEM until Ned Fox's departure from the Golden Os Team)

I remember many of the mentioned writers and personalities in Jen's post, and some not mentioned. Ruth Gifford, Jungle Kitty, and Alara Rogers are some of the writers who remember my worst mistakes ... not just writing either. Of course, having been more involved in ASC until recently vs my ASCEM time, a lot of that is ASC memories, but ASC is family to ASCEM. I'm not sure exactly what type of relationship, but definitely family.

ASCEM is in many ways a family. We grieve with thee when things go wrong, we throw virtual parties when someone has something good happen to them ... to say nothing about the Awards Dinners. Every once in a while we'll have an annoying little brat come through, but they'll grow up eventually, and in the meantime, well, the username is amusing, and the stories they write are charming from a certain point of view. This is a group devoted to infinite diversity in infinite perversion, after all. We laugh, we cry, we wonder about our sanity, and most important, we care.

That can't always be said about groups ... it's why ASCEM survives though.

But history is fleeting ... and no one ever knows everything.

[Jen]:

When I was in my freshman year on ASCEM the senior class consisted of Ruth, Wolfie, OdoGoddess ([...]), Carolyn Fulton, Kat Ramage, JungleKitty, Jonk, Helmboy (I think), Doc Mary Curtin, Anne in Chicago, Althea--basically read a TSU and those are them.

My peers were Sophie (BGM), Olivia Monteith, Cam Burnell, Agincourt, Robin Lawrie, Sileya, Charlene, Mark, Arachnathe, Van -- hell, read two TSU's: Funeral for a Smutter Gone Wrong and The Big Party. I have just about every active poster and lurker listed in those two stories.

Back in the day, man, ASCEM could get up to 300 or better posts daily. And the smut! Good stuff. Jane St. Clair wrote this one Seven/Janeway/Paris thing for the Small Screen that to this day takes my breath away. And anything with Ruth and Veronica as a writing team--holy...the most hilarious thing I ever read in my life was this P/Q thing they wrote where Picard wakes up in 1990-something near the drive through of a fast food joint. Oh my GOD!

My talent back then was humor and diffusing tense situations with some well placed smart ass-ness. You know that's why I wrote the first TSU but there were other stories I wrote which very pointedly referred to minor dust ups and what not. For the most part things were really nice back then though; most of the dark stuff happened behind the scenes.

Alexis is the unsung hero of ASCEM. She started it and she and Ruth kept it rolling. None of us ever knew how hard they worked or what bullshit they kept off list--I had no clue until they made me co-mod. I won't go into that here because a lot of it is personal, but I would like to point out that this was waaaaay before yahoogroups and robomodding. They had to figure it out on their own and moderating ASCEM was a big job. I spent way more time than I should have because I had no idea what I was doing and moderating sometimes took four to six hours a night.

After Ruth left things got really hard and weird juju happened behind the scenes. The stress got to me, I was very sick and didn't know why and suddenly I was the enemy because I was a mod and people wanted their smut and if they didn't get it they wanted to know why we were falling down on the job. The final straw for me was when some anonymous person called my ISP and told them I was a spammer for some unknown reason and Dina had to spend three hours trying to get my internet service back so I could mod the list. That's when I quit and Dina and Ned rescued me from certain doom.

That was the dark side, but things were also very good too. ASCEM started getting very cliquish before me and my cohorts played the TSU game. TSU encouraged these battling groups to interact and play together. Lines blurred, people began to write outside their fandoms, and we got to know one another personally. Lifelong friendships were forged, some blossomed into marriage, some became lovers, some relationships ended here. It was a little like Camelot for me. There was this golden, shining moment that lasted a few years but like all good things it has to end. When people who are very different come together there is sometimes friction and that's basically what let to the old guard packing up and moving on.

My original exit from ASCEM was less than graceful I will admit. I can give you the excuse that I was extremely ill to the point that I actually went to bed and took a nap and woke up more than two days later if that says something. I just couldn't deal with the stress of moderating and my failing health so I had to get away for a while. I honestly thought I was going to die and almost did when my doctor prescribed two medications that didn't mix well and I nearly had a heart attack. I even left Fuh-Q while I dealt with getting better and it was during that time I met Chris and got married. When I returned to Fuh-Q I discovered that the Camelot Crew had left ASCEM shortly after I did. Some left for other fandoms, some left because ASCEM had soured for them, and some just got real lives while I was getting mine. Fuh-Q was still there though and they welcomed me back like I'd never left and caught me up.

I was a little scared to come back I'll admit, and the few 'old' writers I still keep in touch with have various reasons for staying away. I think it's because there is a danger to being that close to that many people. You become emotionally invested in it and it becomes more than just a simple trek list. It's like dealing with family and having a big, huge family who live in one another's back pockets all the time is stressful but time and age have taught me a few things. I see now the mistakes that were made and I made a few of them and witnessed most of the rest. If I could do it all over again though, I'd still let it play out the way it did.

Nowadays people don't go to ASCEM the way they used to. LiveJournal is safer for them. They control the tone, they say what they want and walk away, there's no sense of community or crowding and everything is nice and neat.

I hate LJ for that very reason. Here, for better or worse, there is a more personal aspect to everything. You are forced to use a certain amount of respect and etiquette and we do crowd each other but that's not a bad thing. I think if I was to point out what went wrong with ASCEM was that it relied too heavily on the people in the background. I think that if we had Yahoogroups and better software then, Ruth and the rest would still be here. For that side of things it became more of a job and a chore than a hobby. Another thing that went wrong is we lost our boundaries a little. A few people started wanting to live their stories and some mistakes were made that hurt people. I wasn't one of them but I was friends with all those involved and I saw how it tore everyone apart. It wasn't just one person or one couple but in a weird conglomeration of events everything went wrong at the same time and a lot of tears were shed. Ruth left, a lot of people left, and it really hurt me to see it happen.

I also want to say this; yes, the old farts like me wrote some pretty memorable stuff, but that doesn't mean we're better than this group here. History only matters when it begins to repeat and I'd love to see another Greywolf or Ruth rise from the ranks, but you guys have the potential to be even better than they ever were.

Don't be afraid to be friends. Don't be afraid to take risks or communicate or stretch your abilities. Take pride in your work--yeah, the drabbles are easier but do they satisfy you? Do they challenge you? Be playful with your writing and find ways to connect with one another. Always say thank you to Stephen and the others and think JFK the next time you want to complain about a lack of smut or feedback; Ask not what your mod can do for you but what you can do for your mod.

Treat people here like you would treat people in your real life. Use netiquette and remember: you are typing. You have a chance to think about what you are saying and the tone you are using before you hit send.

Self edit. Self edit your personal correspondence and your smut equally.

Use common sense. Remember there is someone out there. You are not living in a vacuum and there are real people at the other end of the line. Words contain power. A misplaced word can cause more pain than a well placed fist.

Whoopee Goldberg has this great thing she says about the power of words. It goes something like; The filthiest word in the English language is one we use everyday. It isn't censored, or banned, and no one ever gasps when it's said in mixed company. The word is stupid and when you tell a child they are stupid they carry it in their hearts just like some people carry love.

THINK!! THINK!!! THINK before you write. You may think you are just writing for yourself but you aren't. Writers, even the ones 'playing' at it have an awesome responsibility. I think that's what really defined these historic smutters Stephen referred to. The each felt pride in their writing and they knew they had a responsibility not only to the fandom and the characters, but to the reader to get it right. I don't know how much I should say because I have noticed that (and I mean no offense so please don't yell at me) some of you don't take constructive criticism well.

The first rule of writing is learn to accept rejection and criticism. If you can't then maybe your role in life is to read, not to write. I have gotten my ass handed to me a million times and each time I shake the dust off, clear my mind, read the crit, and move on taking all of it to heart. I learn and by learning I evolve. With that said, let me give you an example of some forms of irresponsible writing.

I know for a fact that there are at least five active members of ASCEM who have undergone sexual abuse including rape. I don't need to say who, that's no one's business, but I've also seen an emerging trend--not just here but in many fandoms (Sentinel, NCIS, etc) of writers using rape as a romantic device. Someone gets raped or almost raped and saved, then almost raped again and saved, and so on. Obviously it's a hero fantasy and the writer doesn't mean to offend, but think. If you write about rape then write about it. Put yourself in the character's place. Empathize with them. Realize that this affects people and if you choose to approach this subject matter take responsibility for it and really write.

The thing that sets slash apart from other forms of fanfiction is the emotional depths we explore--it's not just about sex. In fact, sex is not the point. Your favorite writer might have wrote about sex, but the sex wasn't what they focused on. It was the emotions the sex was built upon. Sex and Slash are 99% mental, 1% physical. What emotion are you trying to convey with this experience?

Another big oopsie that I, myself, am often guilty of is shifting POV. Look at the stories you consider 'classics'. What do they have in common? What makes them so powerful? Point of View. Pick one character and write from his or her POV. Only one character at a time. For Ruth it was Picard, for Greywolf it was Spock most of the time, JungleKitty liked Kirk, I like Garak, Charlene writes from Julian's eyes and so did Olivia and Sophie. Get into that character's head and write the ever living shit out of that thing.

Now, here's the biggie--never get so involved with your character that the lines blur and you begin writing about yourself. You have to keep an emotional distance from your characters. You have to follow the train of thought to it's logical conclusion even if that means writing something you don't want to see happen. Remember, Gene Roddenberry used Star Trek to mirror events and issues happening in the here and now. Life isn't always fair and sometimes you have to show that.

The thing that set those writers apart is that they instinctively knew that. They understood the power they commanded when they created a story which is why when I mentioned the story Basilisk by Carolyn Fulton numerous people here remembered reading it even though it was written more than 13 years ago.

Thirteen years. Think about that.

If the point of history is to learn from it then take the good and apply it to your writing. Thirteen years from now some other person is going to say, "So and so is the greatest fanfic writer of all time! I still reread such and such every chance I get!"

That's power. That's history. THAT'S what Sileya and Stephen are talking about when they mention preserving ASCEM's history. I thought of Ruth Gifford when I wrote the G/B Mysteries. I thought of Sophie and Greywolf and I wondered if they would read it and like it. It was important to me to write something worthy of competing with their work. I don't know if I succeeded but it gave me a goal. Take your favorite fanfic, read it, dissect it, figure out why you like it so much, then do what they did...only better.

[Vanasati]:

I also remember Judygran, SamK and Killashandra and Kira-Nerys.

And wow, it still amazes me when someone give my name within that list. I remember having some kind of Hero-Worship when it came to Killa, Jungle Kitty, Greywolf and you too, I loved the stories so much.

Then I went to Friscon with Ara (Arachnethe2) and we met lots of people from ascem there personally, and that was what really made ascem family for me. Dina Lerret, Jungle Kitty, SamK, Judygran, Jonk, Greywolf, Erik Red Fish, Mary Ellen Curtin, AKite, Karmen Ghia and Minotaur, those are the ones I remember being there.

It was like meeting old friends and spending time with them was really great....

There come some more names to mind: Islaofhope, Hafital, JSCavalcante, Kaki, Saavant, Animasola, Fizzbin, Jat Sapphire, Jess in England, Liz Ellington, Rae Trail, Scarlet, Selek, Miss Sunbeam, T'Pat, Varoneeka, Wildcat, Sydvick/Istannor, all great writers. And the wonderful feedbackers too, like Pam the Feedback-Queen :-)

I am sure there are more waiting to be mentioned by someone.

Wildcat and T'Pat were very gracious in beta reading my very first story for me and Rae Trail wrote my very first enthusiastic feedback. I'll never forget that....

I just don't get into LJ, it confuses me a lot.

So, sometimes I miss being an active part of ascem, but for some reason I am mostly lurking these days, but I am here again, and in all the time is was not, I still couldn't bring myself to unsubscribe, even if I didn't read the group anymore.

I still have my TSU T-Shirt and the "Vulcan-Science-Academy" Sticker I got at Friscon survived from being taken off of my old car and moved to my new one. It has now accompanied my every drive since 9 years :-)

[Jen]:

>I don't even remember what exactly was the reason it went all so sour, I only remember fighting.

It was a lot of stuff that all went down at the same time. The reason Ruth left was like the world's worst kept secret and it bothered a lot of folks and then the anneinchicago listmom upset. I'm not going to go into it out here because it's all old news and I managed to remain friends with everybody by not choosing sides or being judgmental but Ruth's exodus was the beginning of the end.

Not to take too much credit but when I became a mod out of necessity because Ruth left I was so overwhelmed with the job that I couldn't write TSU anymore and TSU was the way we diffused a lot of stuff. Then a new group came in that didn't have the same set of values or know the rules of engagement we had developed. They were brash and didn't care about the older writers. They all came at once and treated ASCEM like a prison yard where if you knocked down the big guy you'd get respect. I suspect after seeing some of the ways LJ users treat each other that's where they went. <grimace> They liked to start fights and when you tried to diffuse it they'd get dirty. See my being reported as a spammer as an example.

Then there was the robomodding issue. Several people wanted to 'buy' ASCEM from us and pay to have it robomodded. They meant well but we never wanted to leave the survival of the group in any one person's hands and back then robomodding was expensive.

It was a lot of stuff basically.