Let's Talk About Smut, Baby
| Meta | |
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| Title: | Let's Talk About Smut, Baby |
| Creator: | Dasha K |
| Date(s): | 2000 |
| Medium: | online |
| Fandom: | The X-Files |
| Topic: | |
| External Links: | Let's Talk About Smut, Baby, part one; page two page three |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Let's Talk About Smut, Baby is a 2000 essay by Dasha K.
It was linked at the X-Files website Working Stiffs.
The "Working Stiffs'" website table of contents titles it: "How do I make Mulder and Scully do the hoky-poky?"
Introduction
We call it erotica, filth, the nasty stuff, NC-17, but most of the time in the X-Files fan fiction community, we affectionately refer to stories that include explicit sexual content as smut.
I've been reading a lot of threads on various lists and message boards about smut-- what works, what doesn't, what is cliched, and I decided to do a little advice page about writing smut. The examples here are mostly about X-Files fic, but can apply to every fandom.
Some Topics Discussed
- smut
- her writing "credentials"
- some fic, rec, and non-fiction sites, including torch's fiction and Minotaur's Sex Tips for Slash Writers
- do you need to be sexually experienced to write good smut?
- safe sex portrayed in fiction
- other various hints
Excerpts
2) Why are you people writing all these dirty stories, anyhow?
Why do men like to download hot pictures from the Net? Most women are not wired to be as visual as men, thus the popularity of erotica with women-- although I know quite a few men who like it and excel at writing it. And as far as writing smut in the XF fandom, the show, while offering us an interesting bunch of characters, rarely shows us their sexual sides. Fanfiction is an excellent way to explore that avenue of characterization. We demand that the sexual tension be resolved and if Chris Carter isn't gonna do it, we've got computers and know how to use them!
3) Should I be worried that I'm, um, some kinda pervert if I want to write some smut?
Heck no. Writing smut is not only good writing practice, it is perfectly healthy. I know, I asked my shrink. It's also a great way to explore extreme possibilities that you could not imagine doing in real life. I know lesbians who write m/m slash and straight women who write f/f slash. Happily married women explore threesomes and nice boys at college have someone tying someone else up. In our real lives, most of us have happy, healthy relationships and sex lives that Ann Landers would have been proud of.
...I can't tell you how many smut stories have been written that seem to have made it onto the computer with the author only thinking, "I want to write some hot sex today." Not that PWP smut is a bad thing, but the best PWP (Plot? What plot?) smut has a kernel of an idea, or a theme behind it that drives the story. If Scully is tying Pendrell up, maybe this is a good time to talk about control. If Skinner is finally making the leap and sleeping with Kimberley, perhaps have it be about loneliness. And write with conviction. What I mean by that is that you should believe in your idea. The worst story I ever wrote (besides those early stories I'm trying to pull off the archives) was something I wrote as a gift for someone. I didn't believe in the implausible situation I put the two characters in, and tried to fake it by framing it as a dream sequence. In the end, I think I wrote a smut story that did not ring true to the characters.
5) What's with all those snarky Tab A and Slot B comments I hear bandied about town?
For most of us, if we wanted a straightforward sex story, we'd go to the store and pick up Penthouse Forum. In other words, try not to let your story become purely about the mechanics of the sex. The easiest way to avoid that is to remember the five senses. Try your best to invoke them all in a smut story.
Erotica versus Real Life:
Erotic fiction is not real life, we all know that, right? Right? We all pretty much want to read about sex that is better than what we're getting in our own lives. But let's get real here. There is a fanfic novel out there that is exceedingly hot but the thing that makes it unrealistic to me is that the characters have so many orgasms you'd need a scorecard to keep up. In one scene, Scully comes at least ten times, by my reckoning. I think this is taking the "better than real life" thing just a little too far.
Try to keep in mind the following:
[lists hints]
Too Original?
We all want to be original when writing fanfic smut. Basically, everything has been done before. But I've seen some authors take that desire to be original to such extremes that the smut scene loses all sexiness, at least in my opinion. What I'm not talking about is BDSM or anything like that, but smut situations that become laughable.
In one smut story I read a few months ago, the well-meaning author wrote an MSR first-time story. She got them into such a convoluted sexual position that I was completely befuddled, even after reading it through three or four times. I finally had to write a friend of mine, and he explained to me, step-by-step, what was going on. If you can't make your readers picture the scene on the first read through, you've lost your audience.
Another story I read had one character penetrating Scully with fruit and then eating it. I know some folks find that sexy, but I was just grossed out by that. It seemed unsanitary and unsexy, but that's just me. It took me out of the moment, thinking, "Damn, I hope he washed that fruit!"
Oh, and have you ever had sexual intercourse in water? Rumor has it, it doesn't feel as good as you'd think.
Rape = Sex and Love:
This is a topic that has the ability to make my eyes bulge out and my nostrils flare. There is many a fanfic story where Scully (or another character) is raped/assaulted/sexually tortured and this horrible occurance is used as a vehicle to bring her closer to a male character, such as Mulder or Skinner. This is a slight reworking of a romance novel device, where a woman is ravished and degraded, and needs the healing love of the hero to be made whole again. I have to tell you, this device makes me ill.
Rape is an act of violence against a woman (or a man). It is not romantic, it is not sexy. And a woman who has been raped is going to have some serious issues for years to come. It is not going to make her suddenly discover her love for Skinner. It is not going to make Mulder suddenly wake up and realize that he needs to be Scully's big protector. If you want to write a story about Scully (or someone else) being raped, feel free, but don't even try to make that your vehicle for the big romance. Not if you don't want some ugly email from me. If you're going to write a rape story, deal with the emotional consequences in your writing.
And if you disagree, don't try to argue this one with me. Nothing, I repeat, nothing will get me to change my mind on this subject.
Sweet Valley High or the X-files?
It's important to remember, when writing smut, that we're talking about adults. Mulder, Scully, Skinner, and Krycek are all in their thirties and forties. These are educated adults who have careers (even if Krycek's seems to be Professional Thug) and responsibilities. Just because they are having sex doesn't mean they are going to turn into blushing, giggly teenagers.
Nothing turns me off a romance/smut story more that having the characters suddenly acting like they had personality transplants.
Who are these people?
What you are writing is fan fiction. People want to read about Mulder and Scully or Skinner and Krycek doing The Beautiful Thing, not two random people having sex with each other. Truly great smut keeps the reader in the moment and the reader never forgets that he or she is reading about these two specific characters. Too many smut scenes I read lose the sense of character as soon as the clothes are removed. I could be reading about Jane and Ted for all I know.
After you've written your big smut scene, a little trick to do is to run a search and replace on your word processor. Replace Mulder with Mike and Scully with Sarah. Does the story still make sense? If so, you haven't really done your job as a writer of fanfiction. You may have written the hottest erotic story since Scheherezade, but it's no longer fan fiction.
Make sure your reader knows who you are writing about. The first thing to keep in mind is physical description. What does Mulder's neck smell like? How does Scully sound when she comes? How do Krycek's eyes look when he is truly aroused?
Another important thing to remember is history. These are people with powerful histories and back stories with each other. You've seen the episodes, right? Good, now put them to use. I'm not saying that you need three paragraphs in the middle of a sex scene about the first time Skinner saw Pendrell walk through the door, but this is a good time to be sneak a little history in the story, to keep your characters grounded in the show and their own life stories.
What do I call that thing anyhow?
I'll admit it. This is the part I've been dreading big-time. Yeah, you know what I'm about to talk about. The names for the sexual organs.
It all seems so simple in high school health class when we learn the words: vagina, penis, testicles, clitoris.
It's even more simple as we put mousse in our hair and whisper the dirty words before Calculus: pussy, cock, balls, tits.
But now you're writing smut and in a quandry. Which words to use? Some words sound too filthy, some too clinical, and some are just plain juvenile-sounding.
I feel for you. I frequently bang my head against my desk as I'm writing smut. It's a toughie and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if I really have any concrete answers for you, just a few little guidelines:
[some guidelines]
Having an experienced smut writer as an editor is a wonderful thing. When I wrote my first m/m slash story, I was terrified that the slash community would laugh their heads off at me. I happened to mention to Te, a writer of a lot of slash, in an email on another subject that I'd written my first boyslash, and she genereously offered to look at it. With much fear, I handed it over, and she came back with a whole lot of useful comments. It took the edge off the fear of posting my first slash.