Finding Himself

Fanfiction
Title:	Finding Himself
Author(s):	Minisinoo
Date(s):
Length:	c. 320,000 words
Genre(s):	Het, Mature, Drama/Angst, Romance, AU
Fandom(s):	Harry Potter
Relationship(s):
External Links:	Finding Himself at FFN Finding Himself at The Medicine Wheel Finding Himself at Ebook Library
Fic Cover
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Finding Himself is a Cedric/Hermione fic by Minisinoo, in which Cedric Diggory lives at the end of Goblet of Fire. It's probably the most frequently recced Cedric/Hermione fic. It has a sequel titled "Dulce et decorum est", and a third part that could be read on its own, I Hope You Dance [1].

Summary:

'The boy who almost died' has to figure out what it means that he didn't. Harry's tumultuous fifth year at Hogwarts is Cedric's seventh and final. Bound together by a shared trauma survived, both boys fall under Ministry fire and suspicion, and both undergo a 'deconstruction' of sorts in the face of that crisis. Who is Cedric Diggory? He must find himself amid rumors of war, the awkwardness of falling in love, and a crippling personal tragedy.

Author's Notes:

WARNING: This tale contains ADULT situations and imagery. Don't want to get too specific and give away surprises, but just ... be aware.

Characters: Like any novel, this one involves an ensemble cast, but the central protagonist is Cedric, not Harry, which naturally skews the focus so that some characters important to the books are less important here while others barely mentioned become significant secondaries. Nonetheless, the 'holy trio' remains central. At least initially, all romances reflect canon, and most will continue so -- with one important change (Cedric/Hermione alert).

Special Notes Relating to the Books & Films: Chapters 1-2 retell the end of Goblet of Fire with the AU shift, but the events as described are from the film, not the book, at least up to the point of divergence (after that, it's all different). Later chapters will be based on book 5. While this is a novel in its own right with an independent story arc, I consider it to 'run alongside' the main book and don't intend to engage in massive repetition of material from Order of the Phoenix. In short, it is assumed that readers have seen Goblet of Fire, and read Order of the Phoenix. Descriptions of Cedric and other characters' appearances reflect the films (where pertinent), but personalities are a blending of film and book. Events in the short story "The Way I See It" are assumed in Cedric's personal history, but don't play a large part in the novel -- Esiban aside.

Awards Won

• Quill to Parchment 2007: Judges' Choice (pairing), also runner up in Best Rare Pairings, Best Minor Character-Centric, Best Novel-Length
• The Goblets 2007: Best Non-Canon Romance
• Gilded Grangers 2007: Best Hermione-Hufflepuff

Comments, Recs & Reactions

2000s

[Bambu]
This is a deftly wrought novel-length work. Truthfully, I believe it’s the iconic story for this pairing. The plot is beautifully interwoven with JKR’s canon Order of the Phoenix and, in fact, enhances her linear progression exponentially. The distaff characters and Houses have been fleshed out, sufficient backstory has been added to enhance the tension line of the generational conflict, and the coming-of-age of a young man under extremely difficult circumstances is delicately and beautifully etched. For all of Cedric’s misery there is delight, for all his sacrifice there is reward … and he is indeed a noble, three-dimensional character.

I particularly liked the differences between Hermione and him in terms of their moral and ethical issues. The house-elves disagreement and ultimate lesson was well done. It was a running thread developed and resolved in a way that illuminated both the distinction between species and the taint of slavery.

Cedric’s friendships grew and strengthened through his falling in love with Hermione … a gorgeous parallel development. The romance was sweet and real and didn’t hinder Cedric’s or Hermione’s ability to be individuals, which is, in some ways, the most romantic story of all.

I highly recommend this story.

[that_writr]
This is the fillet mignon of Cedric/Hermione stories. C/Hr is a rarepair, but a fairly sizable one, and there IS no better example of the pairing than this AU novel. ...

This is NOT just a recasting of Order of the Phoenix from different points of view. She manages to both stay true to the canonical events of the fifth book AND add entirely new plot twists, including a fantastic power struggle between Head-Boy Cedric and Ministry-plant Umbridge. If you think you hated Umbridge in OotP, you'll DESPISE her after reading this. It's brilliant. Some additional pluses include a creative new magic using art/painting, which includes a compelling OC (Cedric's mum), plus the best use of Hufflepuff House I've ever read in ANY fic. Chapters 31-32 leave you cheering (and you'll never think they're the "left overs" again). Oh, and Cedric is in a wheelchair ... but it's not one of those Afterschool Specials, even while being very realistic. (What originally drew me to this story WAS the disabled aspect, because my sister is in a wheelchair. I'm very iffy about "disability fics," but this isn't one. It's got a disabled character, but it's not a "disability fic.")

Oh, yeah, the romance! :-D It's a really wonderful treatment of first love that builds naturally AND doesn't demonize any of the other characters (canon love interests) in the process. If you think "Hermione and Cedric?!?" going in, by the end, you'll have a hard time picturing her (or him) with anybody else."

[painless_j]
This story was my food and sleep for I won’t tell you how long (’cos I’m really weirded out with how long it took me to finish it in my current circumstances). It is a very long story though, and very… everything. Teen het relationships aren’t my thing at all. But I read minisinoo’s Harry/Cedric fic Nature & Destiny some time ago and liked her writing very much. So when I saw that this long fic was finished, I immediately bookmarked it. Took me long enough to overcome myself to actually begin reading, but once I started, I couldn’t help begging the time that I had to spend working or doing other stuff to rush by faster so that I could get back to living in this fic again.

As I said, it somehow has everything. It’s amazingly thorough and never boring! The author says: Like any novel, this one involves an ensemble cast, but the central protagonist is Cedric, not Harry, which naturally skews the focus so that some characters important to the books are less important here while others barely mentioned become significant secondaries. Nonetheless, the ‘holy trio’ remains central. At least initially, all romances reflect canon, and most will continue so—with one important change (Cedric/Hermione alert). Before reading it, I thought that speaking of one’s own fic as a novel with all that entails is a tad too ambitious, but now that I want to tell you something about it and can’t choose what to begin with or how even to approach it at all, I realise that no, it’s simply correct.

So whatever aspect you think of, you’re likely to find it in this story. Firstly, I’m truly impressed with how deep and interesting the characters are, including OC, such as Cedric’s mother or his Hufflepuff friends, or minor characters. They are real people, and those of them that are students are real teenagers. For me reading this story was rather like reliving my teen years—exasperating, confusing, intense, often defying logic and everything else there’s to defy, but lovely and funny too. Secondly, there’s some amazing magic, detailed and creative—in particular, wizarding art. Simply mind-blowing. ... The story is rich! Generous. I don’t have enough words to do it justice, and I’m not feeling up to speaking about Cedric or Hermione (or even Harry, for that matter) in depth. Just… OotP is my least favourite HP book but I was reading this parallel canon like addicted.

Of course there were things that exasperated me: the character of Lucy sometimes, and Hermione, and various teeny stuff. But it’s not bad exasperation. It’s a part of a whole compass of emotions and thoughts that the story evokes. And does it stay in your head! I doubt it can leave any reader unmoved.

Oh, there’s one thing I want to speak of specifically. The Hufflepuff house. I can’t say I’ve read many fics that focus on Hufflepuffs, but this is, as for me, the best representation of the Hufflepuff house I’ve seen. The scene where they cast the vote? Made me shiver in awe. All that chapter, OMG, I was so cheering!

Have I made you want to try it? Anyway, it has my highest rating, if that’s saying anything."

2010s

[gioia]
Minisinoo’s “Finding Himself” is more than a favorite story – it’s one which has impacted me so deeply that I find it hard to be rational, let alone concise, in describing how much I love this story.

In the opening chapter, Cedric survives the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament. Therefore, in some ways, “Finding Himself” is what Book 5 would have been if JK Rowling had left Cedric alive. In other ways, it’s a completely different story, and that is not merely because Minisinoo tells the story through Cedric and Hermione’s POVs, rather than Harry’s, which gives us the fun opportunity to view the wizarding world and Harry’s life through different eyes. “Finding Himself” is also very different from Order of the Phoenix because Cedric’s inclusion brings about other new and different individuals and occurrences in Harry’s fifth year. ... Cedric and Hermione also are paired in this story, something which is utterly outside of canon, yet makes complete sense in both the reason for their true introduction and developing friendship, and the growth of a true romance between them. I also particularly loved seeing Cedric become the big brother figure Harry badly needed during his fifth year. Cedric is able to understand and share Harry’s terrible 5th year burdens. As Dumbledore says to Cedric, “…you’re a bit older and less rash – yet not too old. I think Harry might come to you before he’d approach an adult.”

Aside from all of those AU, if completely organic-feeling, deviations from canon, perhaps the most memorable element which sets this story apart from both canon and other Cedric!survives fanfics is that Cedric did not survive the Triwizard Tournament unscathed, and consequently his life becomes immensely complicated. Although the nature of that complication is revealed pretty quickly in the story, I hesitate to spoil you rec readers by mentioning it here without warning. Therefore, continue no further with this post if you wish to remain unspoiled. Spoilers commence after the next paragraph.

... The fic closely follows canon, yet for all of the above AU reasons, and because of Min’s skill, you’ll never feel like you’re reading a regurgitation of Order of the Phoenix. ...

Cedric is very much Minisinoo’s character. She takes the unusual step here of incorporating both the book and movie canon into this story, something I’ve never before enjoyed. ... But one would have to be a blind fool, or a more obnoxious prat than Zacharias Smith, to make such an assumption about Minisinoo. She knows her canon. So much so, in fact, that she is clearly aware of how much influence JK Rowling had in the writing of that particular script. ... Therefore, even the most devoted fans can feel confident that Min’s Ced is firmly based on the Cedric in JKR’s imagination. Since neither the film nor the book gave us much information about Cedric, Minsinoo simply used JKR’s template to create an amazingly well-developed, fully fleshed-out Cedric Diggory of her own, who has long since become the Cedric I imagine whenever I read or watch Goble of Fire.

Minisinoo has the gift of being able to write a teenage boy in a very authentic-sounding voice. But I am most captivated by how she writes both Cedric and Hermione in relation to his disability. Minisinoo’s professional background, deep empathy, and gifts as an author of concise, coherent, emotionally-evocative narratives allow her to make it so easy to imagine what it is like both as the patient and as the one who loves a patient in these circumstances. When you read her story, you’ll know the frustration of feeling pathetic and weak, trapped inside one’s own traitorous body, the subject of pity and staring and condescension. You’ll also know what it is to care about someone in those circumstances, not knowing what to say, what will make things worse; how to help someone so obviously struggling physically without implying he is helpless, etc., etc.

[Jennifer]
Let's face it. A great deal of fanfiction is rubbish. Especially when it involves major characters not dying and a complete and total change of cannon. However, this particular one is brilliantly done.