Classified Affairs

You may be looking for the UNCLE zines by the same publisher called Declassified Affairs OR Reclassified Affairs.

Zine
Title:	Classified Affairs
Publisher:	Markate Press, then (?) In Person Press
Editor(s):	Marion McChesney Jane Terry, Clare Chew
Date(s):	1995-2001
Series?:
Medium:	print, fanzine
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Man from UNCLE
Language:	English
External Links:	online review of the zine & another review here
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Classified Affairs is a slash Man from UNCLE anthology edited by Marion McChesney. In 2001, Jane Terry and Clare Chew published the last issue, a tribute issue after Marion had passed away.

General Reactions and Reviews

I've heard these referred to as the workhorses of MFU zines, and that's a good way to describe them. They're very uneven in terms of story quality, and the editing can be haphazard at times, but most every issue has one or two absolute gems. (Notice I said most every issue.) Some of my favorite stories in this fandom are in this series, so they're worth checking out if you can find used issues at a con.

About

From the editorial by Clare Chew in the last issue:

In my mind, I categorize slash zines. There are the zines that focus on relationship and sexual angst, and the zines that don't. Classified Affairs has always been a difficult zine anthology to classify. There was sweet romance and hurt/comfort. But it existed alongside conflict, misunderstandings, and recriminations galore. Sometimes it wasn't even Napoleon and lllya together! They did end up apart in a handful of stories. The sinister KGB trainer, Thrush impostors, Mr.Waverly, male prostitutes and the tragedy of circumstance came between our heroes. Then, of course, there was always the 'interfering female,' with the ubiquitous Angelique topping the list. She even appears here, dammit, an attention-seeking hussy to the very end. The one sure thing about the zine was the cover. Each edition was encased in a gorgeous illustration, with the occasional surprise illo inside. It was the type of cover that turned heads at the dealer's table.

Issue 1

-- "The Spy Who Loves Me" -- "A glorious Suzan Lovett cover of naked lovers gets this full size (8.5" x 11") spiral-bound zine off to a good start."

Classified Affairs 1 was published in 1995 and contains 155 pages. The cover is by Suzan Lovett. There is no interior art.

• The Blue Room by Suzan Lovett (16 pages) (The editor notes that while there is no actual sex in this story, it is most definitely "pre-slash.")
• A Secret for Dessert by Linda White (8 pages) (part of the Third Level Universe)
• A Personal Affair by Mary Millard (14 pages)
• Luck is No Lady by Linda White (8 pages) (part of the Third Level Universe)
• Secrets by Theresa Kyle (27 pages)
• Friendship Is... (Quotes researched and contributed by Theresa Kyle)
• New Year's, Vibrating Beds, and California Tans by Jane Terry (18 pages)
• Innocence Pursued by Hephaiston (8 pages) (a sequel to "Corruption of Innocence" in If Their Mothers Only Knew #2)
• Matchmaker, Matchmaker by Elizabeth Cochrane (34 pages)
• The Spy Who Loved Me by Kate McChesney (20 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

See reactions and reviews for The Blue Room.

[Matchmaker, Matchmaker]: April Dancer gets sloshed and lets slip a few observations on the relationship between NS and IK, prompting Napoleon to take a closer look himself. Yes, we've seen this plot device before, but it's used to good effect here. NS's POV is nicely done.

[Luck is No Lady]: A short, powerful look at the mutual co-dependence that defines her relationship between NS and IK.

[zine]: This zine was worth reading for three reasons: 'Secrets' by Theresa Kyle, 'Matchmaker, Matchmaker' by Elizabeth Cochrane, and 'The Spy Who Loved Me' by Kate McChesney. Make that required reading - these are three of the best U.N.C.L.E. slash stories I've ever read! This zine is going to be kept and re-read often in the future.

[zine]: The first issue of Classified Affairs appeared in 1995, weighing in with ten stories and 155 pages. Edited by Marion McChesney and originally published by Markate Press, this entire series of zines is sadly out of print.

A glorious Suzan Lovett cover of naked lovers gets this full size (8.5" x 11") spiral-bound zine off to a good start. The full page layout, with plenty of white space and easy-to-read font, is kind to aging eyes. Unfortunately, the abundance of typographical errors is less pleasing to the eyes. To my knowledge none of the stories in this zine are online.

In "The Blue Room", Suzan Lovett proves just what a multi-talented fan she is. This is a post-Nowhere-episode story, wherein Napoleon finally puts the clues together and ventures into the blue room of knowledge. 16 delightful pages.

Illya and Napoleon have "A Secret for Dessert", in one of Linda White's Third Level stories. Possessive and protective instincts, love, trust and honesty are on the menu in this 8 page story.

Abandoning her usual hurt/comfort fare, Mary Millard instead delivers a potent, 14 page helping of angst and desire in "A Personal Affair".

Lady Luck may have deserted Napoleon when THRUSH gets their hands on him, but then again "Luck is No Lady" in Linda White's Third Level story. It doesn't take all eight pages to figure out just what the wellspring of that famous luck might be.

When Napoleon barters a lie for information in order to save Illya's life, he unwittingly triggers a previously unacknowledged longing in "Secrets". Theresa Kyle examines the emotional backlash from that single unexpected truth. 27 pages.

Vibrating beds and a discussion about Napoleon finding Illya a date for a belated New Year's Eve celebration enliven a holiday stakeout in Jane Terry's "New Year's, Vibrating Beds, and California Tans". Happily, the California Tans never put in an appearance after the guys figure out how to produce their own fireworks. 18 pages.

Hephaistion's "Innocence Pursued" is a sequel to a story in another zine, and quite frankly, I don't think this story stands alone. Neither Illya's infatuation with a youthful Innocent nor Napoleon's attitude makes any sense. 7 pages of pure confusion for this reader.

April Dancer may be a very lady-like drunk, but she still calls 'em like she sees 'em in Elizabeth Cochrane's "Matchmaker, Matchmaker". April sees something about Napoleon's partner that Napoleon can't - at least at first. 33 enjoyable pages of pursuit and retreat.

Illya has a deadly secret in Kate McChesney's "The Spy Who Loved Me". Under threat to his family back in Russia, he has been primed to murder his American partner - but his affection for Napoleon leaves him conflicted. 21 pages. The cover illo goes with this story.

Issue 2

cover of issue #2, Suzan Lovett The cover won a 1996 Stiffie Award for best MUNCLE art. "Just how many zines have I bought solely because I fell in love with the Suzan Lovett cover? ;D" -- from a review below

inside text sample from issue #2

Classified Affairs 2 was published in May 1996 and has 144 pages.

The cover is by Suzan Lovett. There is no interior art, and the back cover is blank.

The front cover has a transparent overlay with the title of the zine. When you turn the overlay back, you see the cover art with no words on it. Another zine with this cover feature is Timeless.

From the editorial:

Welcome to Classified Affairs 2, the issue that starts you out with terror and ends by putting you in a diabetic coma, (Sorry, I can't help it, I' a romantic) I hope you enjoy the read, and welcome any comments you might have. I'd like to thank my contributors, both old and new, for their help. Without them there'd be no zine. It is my hope that they will continue to support Classified Affairs by writing for it. At the moment the deadline is open-ended. It was a killer putting out this second issue so close on the heels of the first, and I'd particularly like to thank/blame Jane Terry for saying, "Gee, why don't you?" when I mentioned I was thinking of doing it. When I have enough submissions I will do the third. A deadline will be set at a later date.

• The Terror at 20,000 Feet by Elwyn. Set in the vampire universe of Clotilda Willard's "Rites of the Full Moon" and "Second Chance" in U.N.C.L.E. Affairs. (Of course, that was it! Attrition. His life force had been drained past the point where it could sustain him and he was dying. A simple problem with an even simpler solution, if it wasn't already too late).) (33 pages)
• Secret Agent Lesson 101 by D. Ramsey (1 page)
• Legacy by Eros ("Of course it's Fox," Illya said impatiently. "He's not only our godson, he's Alexander Waverly's grandson and only surviving grandchild. When Waverly named us spiritual guardians - which I have never understood, by the way - he did not intend for Fox to live with us.") (winner of a 1996 STIFfie Award) (crossover with The X-Files) (10 pages)
• The New York Affair by Meridian (Oddly enough it was the fear that got through to Napoleon. He heard it in the voice that had never allowed fear to surface before.) (7 pages)
• Never the Wrong Time by D. Ramsey (3 pages)
• Revelation by Theresa Kyle ("Do you -" Illya realized with sudden horror that he had no idea how to find out what he really wanted to know. He couldn't very well ask if Napoleon thought he, Illya, was in love with him.) (10 pages)
• Court of Equality by Hesphestian (Motion interrupted Kuryakin more effectively than the strangled cry. He looked up to see Solo's hands reaching for him, closing on his upper arms.) (12 pages)
• Voyeurs by Jane Terry (Recognizing his friend's apprehension, Napoleon sat up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to back out now? I could tell Andie you got a call from the office and had to leave..." He moved closer to Illya, so Illya could feel his breath on his ear...or I could leave.") (17 pages)
• Casbah Redux by Taliesin ( "Nothing. Do I have to be up to something?" Solo asked innocently. The expression set well on him. He put the tray of delicacies on the foot of the bed and settled next to his partner, unconcernedly nudging Illya's bare legs out of the way.) (13 pages)
• Beneath the Warrior’s Armor by Linda White (It was a proprietary statement. Illya gazed silently at the badges on the table and pondered the significance of Napoleon's act. Waverly, Slate and Dancer stared. The meaning of Solo's gesture was not lost on them. They were waiting for the Russian's reaction.) (part of the Third Level Universe) (18 pages)
• Prior Claim by Taliesin (2 pages)
• La Dolce Vita – Kuryakin Style by Kate McChesney (The chase was on. Not that it was much of a chase - it was not that large an apartment. Napoleon finally caught up with him in the bedroom, tackling Illya and tossing him on the bed. The wide grin that lit the Russian's face told him that Illya was exactly where he had wanted to be all the time.) (8 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

[First Encounter]: Illya stumbles upon Napoleon in a moment of rare vulnerability during one of America's greatest tragedies. A moving, poignant look at the man behind the mask.

[zine]: Just how many zines have I bought solely because I fell in love with the Suzan Lovett cover? ;D This zine was pure mind candy for me: lots of angst, lots of sex, some unrequited love, some definite DARK elements, some relationship stories. Much exploration of the psyches of the characters. {Happy sigh} I don't know that I'd re-read this again, but reading it the first time was a delicious rush, and I certainly don't regret buying it (used) or reading it.

Issue 3

cover of issue #3, Suzan Lovett: "Capturing the Gold"

cover of issue #3, transparent overlay in place

Classified Affairs 3 was published in 1997 and contains 147 pages. The cover is by Suzan Lovett, and it won the 1998 FanQ. There is no interior art.

From the editorial:

Welcome to the third issae of Classified Affairs. This issae contains 14 stories - a record to date. I'd like to thank all my contnibutons—both old and new—for their participation. The stories in this issue vary from deadly serious to funny. I hope that my readers will enjoy the mix. 'ROUND ROBIN is the end result of a collaborative effort of membens of Channel L, each contributing a part. I'd like to thank all of them for allowing me to print the story. I'd also like to thank Suzan Lovett for her beautiful coven, Jan Davies fon proofreading above and beyond, Stacy Doyle fon making a badly needed print shop pick up (while she was in town on vacation), I'd especially like to thank Laurel Richards fon her efforts in running Channel L—the UNCLE slash listserve— for while the list was the brainchild of Jan and myself, it's Laurel that has to do the work. So, Laurel, now you know why you're getting a contributor's copy of this zine. It's dedicated to you.

• The State Fair Affair by Debbie Rowland (A familiar blond head accompanied the hand rising from behind the bed. "Illya? I could have killed you. What in the world are you doing on the flo..." Napoleon's voice trailed off as Kuryakin rose to his feet. For a moment there was silence in the room, then Solo roared with laughter.) (10 pages)
• The Fake Affair Affair by Linda White (Napoleon's veneer of cool had evaporated the minute his fist hit the van wall. He leaned heavily on his throbbing hand and breathed like a bull in the ring. He was uncomfortably aware of Shephard's eyes on his back.) (16 pages) (part of the Third Level Universe)
• The Four Seasons Affair by K. Ann Yost (Waverly bent to retrieve his bags from the bed. Suddenly Kuryakin grabbed Waverly's tie and pulled him off balance. Waverly didn't even see the hypodermic needle, only Illya's hand reaching for his throat.) (9 pages)
• The Macy's Affair by LG (1 page)
• Venus Wanting by Jane Fairfax (Kuryakin grabbed his wrist. Solo stared it it, and then raised his eyes to meet the blue ones challenging his. Agents were chary of personal space, and Illya was especially jealous of his own, rarely touching anyone. That he violated that barrier now was both a warning to Solo and a promise of his seriousness. But Solo refused to back down.) (26 pages)
• Let Me Use You - Just For A While by Psmythe (poem)
• Blue Eyes by Khylara (Numbly, Napoleon picked up a cookie and broke it open. "The truth will give you what you most desire," he read, secretly wishing it were true. He looked up. "What does yours say?") (7 pages)
• Pay Back Time by Stacy Doyle (1 page)
• The Price of Information by Hephaistion (It was a strange jolt, a juxtaposition of thought that startled Kuryakin. He froze where he was, vaguely aware of the movement of people around him, of conversations that he cared nothing about.) (14 pages)
• Tea For Three by D. Ramsey (4 pages)
• Torturous Memories by Miranda (4 pages)
• The Marriage of Convenience Affair by Taliesin ("You heard me correctly, Mr. Solo. You may date casually as much as you wish - you seem to be able to keep your wits about you so long as you remain in a vertical position." Illya choked on his coffee. Thankfully, neither Waverly nor Napoleon seemed to notice. "But you will go no further than dinner and drinks. Is that clearly understood?") (10 pages)
• Round Robin by Taliesin, Miranda, Debbie Rowland, Kerguelen, Bingo, Dorinda, Kate McChesney & Jane Terry (As Illya pulled the door open he watched in disgust as Napoleon's gaze slid sensuously over his body. "I see you've opted for the 'casual look' this evening," Solo smirked as he brushed past, uninvited, into the apartment) (10 pages)
• Needs by Jane Terry (Something in his friend's too casual tone caused Napoleon to halt. He turned away from the door and found himself staring into guileless blue eyes. In the last two weeks he had developed the habit of avoiding spending too much time alone with people) (reprinted in Re-Compiled Affairs) (28 pages)
• Capturing the Gold by Theresa Kyle ("I suppose some men do like to go put together to, ah, pick up women," he said. "But it's usually been my philosophy that, as the old adage put it, two's company and three's a crowd. No offense.") (5 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

See reactions and reviews for Venus Wanting.

See reactions and reviews for Needs.

See reactions and reviews for The Marriage of Convenience Affair.

[zine]: Just how many zines have I bought solely because I fell in love with the Suzan Lovett cover? ;D This zine was pure mind candy for me: lots of angst, lots of sex, some unrequited love, some definite DARK elements, some relationship stories. Much exploration of the psyches of the characters. {Happy sigh} I don't know that I'd re-read this again, but reading it the first time was a delicious rush, and I certainly don't regret buying it (used) or reading it.

– Raonaid's Home Page

[zine]: Classified Affairs 3 is a long, really rather nice MUNCLE slash anthology. Not everything's great but there are enough good ones, and enough varied ones, for almost any taste. I note with some interest that, like Trek, Muncle is undergoing a phase shift, from the stage technically known as BeatIllyaUp, to a totally different and radically changed level called BeatNapoleonUp. Where next? The mind boggles.

Issue 4

Classified Affairs 4 was published in April 1998 and contains 244 pages. The cover is by Suzan Lovett. It won the 1999 FanQ award for best Man from U.N.C.L.E. slash zine. It contains no interior art.

cover of issue #4, Suzan Lovett

From the editorial:

Classified Affairs is much better longer than previous issues, as you can certainly see, mostly due to several new writers that have come along. They write long—and quite well. Please welcome Sarah Lindsay and Kate D to the ranks.Their stories in this issue represent their first published works. Also welcome Jennifer Lon and Elessar. This is their first apperance in Classified Affairs. I hope all of these excellent writers as well as my regulars will continue to write and to submit to future Classifieds. Once More, With Feeling by Jane Fairfax is a sequel to Venus Wanting which appeared in Classified Affairs 3. Jane assures me that the story will continue. When I received Linda White's story, The So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed Affair, I quite naturally assumed she was referring to a certain 'blond'. Was I disappointed to find the reference was a 'dumb' ball. Sneaky, Linda, sneaky. Nevertheless, I loved the story. As of this moment, Classified Affairs 5 is planned for Connexions, 1999. Earlier publication would depend on submissions. So ... if you want to see another issue sooner than 1999 ... well, you get the drill. To all my contributors, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love doing this, but without you I couldn't. And to my readers, thank you as well. You're as necessary to doing this as the writers are. But most of all, I'd like to thank Jane Terry. She's been the single most important person in helping me with my continuing projects. Her immortal words "Oh, you can do it, Marion. Go ahead" have gotten me going on more things.

• The Playing with Fire Affair by Sarah Lindsay (24 pages) (won a 1999 FanQ)
• The Discovery Affair by Mary Millard (5 pages)
• Through Another’s Eyes by Marion McChesney (1 page)
• American Pie by Jane Terry (12 pages)
• The Giant Pink Teddy Bear Affair by Deb (16 pages)
• The What are Friends for Affair by Linda White (6 pages) (part of the Third Level Universe)
• Gestalt by Elessar (12 pages)
• A Tangled Web by Sarah Lindsay (14 pages)
• Frustrations by Hephaiston (10 pages)
• The So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed Affair by Linda White (10 pages) (part of the Third Level Universe)
• With a Bang by Taliesin (reprinted in Re-Compiled Affairs) (8 pages)
• A Matter of Pride by Kate D. (2 pages)
• The Games People Play Affair by Jennifer Lon (6 pages)
• Once More, With Feeling by Jane Fairfax (24 pages)
• A Trip to the Dark Side by Kate McChesney, Jennifer Lon, Meridith, J.T. Walker, Anncho, Koz, Deb, Emma & Sandy (26 pages)
• The Lost and Found Affair by Kate D. (57 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

See reactions and reviews for Once More, With Feeling.

See reactions and reviews for With a Bang.

[American Pie]: Jane Terry does the near impossible in this story by taking one of the worst episodes of the series ("The Jingle Bells Affair") and giving us back a delightful series of behind-the-scenes vignettes which explain just what Illya and Napoleon were up to when they weren't on the screen. She also manages to address one of the heavier issues the story raised, but never explored - Soviet relations with the west - and by using Illya and Napoleon's relationship on a more personal level she again takes something thrown away by the episode and makes the reader not only understand, but care.

[Gestalt]: An engrossing take on how NS and IK might have first worked together. (Let's just say it wasn't love at first sight.) I liked this possible view of the start of their relationship and the rocky road to their eventual solid partnership. And Mr. Waverly's POV was highly entertaining.

Issue 5

interior art from issue #5, Suzan Lovett: "Afternoon Delight"

cover of issue #5 by TACS

Classified Affairs 5 was published in May 1998 and contains 152 pages. The cover is by TACS. Interior art is by Suzan Lovett.

From the editorial:

Welcome to Classified Affairs 5. It's a little early. I had planned on doing this issue for Connexions in 1999, but a certain little bird (she knows who she is), suggested I do it for MediaWest. I had just put out CA 4 in April 4 this year and the day after Connexions, Jan suggests it might be a good idea to do another issue for MediaWest—less than seven weeks away—and of course I had no submissions on hand. But weak-willed and easily talked into things, I said, "Okay, Jan, if you can drum up enough submissions by the first of May, I'll do it. Crazy, huh? She did it. Okay, so you have Jan Davies to thank for this issue. While it was a lot of work, I'm really happy that she convinced me. I always enjoy doing this. But seriously, folks, the next issue will not come out until April, 1999. I have a few other things I need to do. I'd like to thank my writers, who came through for me big time, and on short notice. Please remember that feedback is necessary to creativity. You can send feedback to either the writers directly if you know them, or through me. I will forward anything I get, and if the two of you are on e-mail, I'll put you together.

• The Quantum Leap Affair by Susan Devereaux. Crossover with Quantum Leap. (26 pages)
• Compensations by Elessar (4 pages)
• Explanation by Hephaiston (20 pages)
• Silken Pleasures by Deb (4 pages)
• The Vacation Affair by Members of Channel L (16 pages)
• Entr’acte by Kate Drummond (11 pages)
• Intrusion by Hephaiston (10 pages)
• Jake by Jane Terry (6 pages)
• Flight of Fancy by Bethany Kent (4 pages)
• Becalmed by Jane Fairfax (8 pages)
• The Roman Holiday Affair by Kate Drummond (35 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5

See reactions and reviews for Becalmed.

Issue 6

Classified Affairs 6 was published in 1999 and contains 179 pages. The cover is by TACS.

cover of issue #6

From the editorial:

Well, here I am again. Welcome to Classified Affairs 6, and my periodic turn to complain that I never know what to say in an editorial. This from the person who always reads the editorial in other people's zines first—go figure. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my contributors. I hope you will enjoy it, and that you will provide some feedback. Writers tend to feel neglected and unappreciated when no feedback is forthcoming. I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome two new writers to Classified Affairs, Tori Scott and Blondie, as well as welcome Elizabeth Urich back to the ranks of U.N.C.L.E. fan fiction. To my regular contributors, a big hug for being so supportive and continuing to send me their stories. I hope all of them will continue to do so. Special thanks to Sarah Lindsay for taking on the task of proofreading Classified, and Jan Davies for proofing a last minute addition. And to Tacs for her lovely cover. The next issue of Classified Affairs is planned for May, 2000. The deadline for submissions is March 1, 2000.

• Pax Vobiscum by Elizabeth Urich (1)
• The To Thine Own Self Be True Affair by Taliesin (13)
• Three Little Words by Jennifer Lon (27)
• Loyalties by Hephaistion (29)
• The New Year's Eve Affair by Ravenschild (37)
• Mission Accomplished by Tori Scott (41)
• Retrospect by Blondie (43)
• The Spies Like Us Affair by Linda White (part of the Third Level Universe) (51)
• Twas the Night Before.... by Kate Drummond (67)
• Alchemy by Elizabeth Urich (75)
• The Impotent Affair by Elessar (79)
• Home To Roost by Sarah Lindsay and Theresa Kyle (91)
• Should Old Acquaintance by Members of Channel L (107)
• Association by Hephaistion (135)
• Dreaming and Scheming by Anita (139)
• Remembrance of Things Past by Kate Drummond (143)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 6

[The To Thine Own Self Be True Affair]: Taliesin has written some wonderful Man from U.N.C.L.E. stories, and she knows how to balance humor and angst beautifully. I think that one of her most enjoyable stories is "The 'To Thine Own Self Be True' Affair." For me, it’s a textbook example of how to flawlessly incorporate fanon into canon, taking everything we know – or think we know – about Illya Kuryakin and running it through a fine filter. The sieve, in this case, is none other than Napoleon Solo. Told from Illya’s point of view, Taliesin spins a yarn that explores the fallout of a mission where Napoleon's been rescued after having been captured and interrogated by THRUSH. What’s the fallout, you ask? Well, let’s just say Mr. Solo’s not himself right now. This little twist, which could easily have walked off the pages of a MFU script, sets the stage for Illya to not be himself either, which leads, inevitably to a solution, which leads directly to our two favorite men from U.N.C.L.E. tumbling into bed together.

[zine]: This large zine features two beautifully written "first-time" stories by Elizabeth Urich, "Pax Vobiscum" and "Alchemy." It is wonderful to see Urich writing U.N.C.L.E. stories again.

"The'To Thine Own Self Be True' Affair" by Taliesin has a very innovative and amusing premise and is carried out with the author's customary skill.

Kate Drummond contributes a pair of her trademark emotion-packed, warmly satisfying stories in "Twas the Night Before" and "Remembrance of Things Past."

Hephaiston has a knockout sequel to her "Frustrations" universe in "Loyalties." "Associations," by the same author, is short but powerful.

The zine contains several other short stories. "Three Little Words" by Jennifer Lyon paints a psychological portrait of Illya's past. "The New Year's Eve Affair" by Ravenschild is a tale of longing satisfied. "Dreaming and Scheming" by Anita provides a hot glimpse of life after retirement for Napoleon and lllya.

This edition of Classified Affairs continues the publisher's practice of introducing new authors to the genre. Tori Scott wastes not a word in her very realistic "Mission Accomplished." "Retrospect" by Blondie is an equally realistic tale of seduction and a partnership that crosses the bounds of friendship.

The Spies Like Us Affair" by Linda White is yet another well-written story in her Third Level universe.

"The Impotent Affair" by Elessar is a cleverly written tale of deception.

My thanks to Theresa Kyle for helping me write the sequel to "Tangled Web." "Home to Roost" benefits from her intricate plotting.

Finally, the zine contains another enjoyable round robin from Channel L, "Should Old Acquaintances."

There should be something here for everyone to enjoy until the next edition of Classified Affairs comes out.

Issue 7

cover of issue #7, Suzan Lovett: "What Dreams May Come"

interior art from issue #7, Suzan Lovett: "Dreamscape"

Classified Affairs 7 was published in May 2000. The cover is by Suzan Lovett. Interior art is by Suzan Lovett.

From the editorial:

I'd like to thank my contributors for their lovely stories, and urge them to contribute to issue #8, due out Mediawest 2001. [She also thanks NJ Kippax for the typing and Jan Davies for her encouragement.]

• The Project Haven Affair by Elizabeth Urich—A THRUSH imposter with the wrong idea about Napoleon and Illya's relationship makes them wonder if it's not the right idea after all. (1)
• Downtime by Deb (17)
• The Little Boy Lost Affair by Ravenchilds and Jatona Walker (19)
• Tango by Banshee Caoine (37)
• The Moment of Truth Affair by Sarah Lindsay (47)
• Mind Games by Kate Drummond (55)
• Trick by Elizabeth Urich (59)
• The Let’s Stay Together Affair by Anita (65)
• The Safety of Distance by Nyssa (75)
• Prothalamion by Elizabeth Urich (91)
• Kiss and Tell by Blondie (97)
• The One for My Baby (And One More for the Road) Affair by MJ (111)
• Drunk and Disorderly by Taliesin (117)
• Midnight in the Garden by Members of Channel L (122)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 7

[Drunk and Disorderly]: The mission is over, the bad guys have been vanquished and Napoleon is out on the town with a beautiful woman leaving Illya to sleep in their hotel room. All is as it should be. Until Napoleon returns to their shared room early and extremely intoxicated, plopping down on his bed in the dark to stare at his sleeping partner. This story has everything I love about the boys and their fan fiction - angst, longing, love, tenderness, strong characterizations and a happy ending.

[Tango]: A truly erotic story that starts off at a simmer and slowly notches up by degrees. The sex scene is incendiary. At the end of a successful mission in Buenos Aires, Illya and Napoleon are treated to a night on the town by a grateful Innocent. Napoleon shows off his skill at the tango to distract himself from concerns over his partner's deepening isolation, while Illya watches and broods. Until he leaves. And Napoleon follows.

[Tango]: I reread this recently and thought my eyeballs were going to boil away into nothingness. Man.

[The One for My Baby...]: A wonderfully atmospheric slice-of-life tale in which Napoleon unburdens himself to a very understanding lounge singer, and discovers a few hidden truths in the process.

Issue 8: Tribute Issue

cover of tribute issue -- "I want to especially thank Suzan for the lovely cover, 'The Kiss,' the fantasy that Marion requested before she died." -- Jane Terry in the editorial to this zine

Classified Affairs: Tribute Issue was published in 2001 after the editor Marion McChesney passed away. Jane Terry and Clare Chew were the editors of this last issue. It contains 232 pages. The cover is by Suzan Lovett. There is no interior art.

From the editorial by Clare Chew:

In my mind, I categorize slash zines. There are the zines that focus on relationship and sexual angst, and the zines that don't. Classified Affairs has always been a difficult zine anthology to classify. There was sweet romance and hurt/comfort. But it existed alongside conflict, misunderstandings, and recriminations galore. Sometimes it wasn't even Napoleon and lllya together! They did end up apart in a handful of stories. The sinister KGB trainer, Thrush impostors, Mr.Waverly, male prostitutes and the tragedy of circumstance came between our heroes. Then, of course, there was always the 'interfering female,' with the ubiquitous Angelique topping the list. She even appears here, dammit, an attention-seeking hussy to the very end. The one sure thing about the zine was the cover. Each edition was encased in a gorgeous illustration, with the occasional surprise illo inside. It was the type of cover that turned heads at the dealer's table. I never had the opportunity to know Marion McChesney, but I admire her for putting this zine together each year, and even twice a year on occasion. Rest assured, this tribute issue is just as diverse and unpredictable. There are a number of new writers stretching their wings. And some that have been around before this anthology ever came into being. Plus many, many of the usual suspects. Read.

From the editorial by Jane Terry:

It's past 2 am and I'm pampering my printer to get the last story out. Clare's on the Instant Message Window. She's been there for the past seven hours, holding my hand through this, formatting the stories, troubleshooting what I'm doing on this end. Taking on so much of what Marion did. Marion should be doing this. If she were alive I could be sleeping now and would be able to get more than 3 hours of sleep before I go to work tomorrow. But that's the least of missing Marion. Marion did so much. She juggled all of her projects - the zines, the cons, the newsletters, so casually. Even when she was living her friends were in awe of how she could accomplish so much and not get ruffled. Those of us who have taken on her numerous projects find ourselves constantly wondering, "How did she do it?" The obvious answer is, with more than a little help from our friends. First and foremost, I want thank Clare Chew, who has done more to fill the gap that Marion left in my life than anyone. She became my co-moderator on Channel L- a job that is harder than it looks. She has helped me so much with the job of putting together this zine. And I realized last week that she's done enouagh work to qualify as my co- editor. I added her name on the title page, feeling slightly guilty that I'm still putting my name first. Others. Martha, of course for publishing the Classified Tribute as well as taking on so many of Marion's other obligations in fandom: The new Awakenings, Connexions and the distribution of Marion's older zines. Joyce for holding my other hand. Jan B. for her support. Meredith and Sundance for emergency story surgery. Theresa Kyle, Sarah Lindsay and Tianne Gabrielle for pitching in with the job of editing a zine that had more stories than I could do justice to with a limited timeframe. I want to especially thank Suzan for the lovely cover, "The Kiss," the fantasy that Marion requested before she died. And now, what she said: Read.

In The Beginning...:

• Extra Curricula by Blondie (8 pages)
• Shadow of the Past by Sarah Lindsay (7 pages)

First Season:

• Accommodations by Elessar (4 pages)
• Watching the Petals Fall by Banshee Caoine (4 pages)
• K-INK by Cathi Weston. Illya's POV on Nikki Weston's "Kinks" in We Have Each Other #2. (14 pages)
• The Mills of God Affair by Meredith and Sundance (13 pages)
• Touch by Jane Terry (8 pages)

Second Season:

• Anytime by Taliesin (3 pages)
• The Wind in the Wheat by Theresa Kyle (1 page)
• Christmas Present by Tianne Gabrielle (11 pages)
• Pas de Deux by Elizabeth Urich. A sequel to Suzan Lovett's "The Blue Room" in issue #1. (4 pages)
• Prior Obligations by Lara (29 pages)

Third Season...And Alternatives:

• Static by Zach Nitzyekov (2 pages)
• Twin Beds, Two Stories by Nickovetch (4 pages)
• Frottage by Ravenschild (3 pages)
• Incident in Madrid by Theresa Kyle (3 pages)
• The Man of My Dreams Affair by Jatona P. Walker (4 pages)
• The Up Close and Personal Affair by Eros (3 pages)
• Purrfect Union by Zach Nitzyekov (4 pages)
• Prescription for Happiness by Linda White (8 pages)

Fourth Season:

• The It Had to be You Affair by Elessar (3 pages)
• Dreams of You by Kate Drummond (2 pages)
• Love At Last by Jennifer Lon (3 pages)
• Friendly Fire by Clare Chew (42 pages)
• It's a Dirty Job by Linda White (2 pages)
• Body Language by Jane Fairfax (19 pages)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 8

See reactions and reviews for Body Language.

[Anytime]: This rec is by Taliesin deals with what happens when two injured UNCLE agents are sent home from the infirmary to heal on their own. This plays on a recurring theme within fanfiction where one or both of the agents are injured and can be liable to get cliched.

In this case, Illya has a bandaged knee and is on crutches whereas Napoleon has bandaged hands. For me though, this fic manages to avoid most of the cliches and delivers an intimate look into our favourite agent's lives "off the screen" so to speak. Napoleon is peeved at Illya for getting them kicked out from the Infirmary but once back at Napoleon's apartment things start to get interesting :-)

The boys are on top form here, Napoleon getting annoyed because he is unable to take care of himself properly and Illya seems to be split between being helpful and being snarky (sometimes both!). Illya finally draws the line when Napoleon hasn't changed clothes for four days and manhandles his senior partner into the shower....

[Touch]: A marvelously understated first-time story in which Illya is inspired to give comfort of a very tactile kind to ease Napoleon's pain.

[Watching the Petals Fall]: This story has an almost dream-like quality about it. An event has Napoleon slightly off-kilter as he wonders about life and our place in it. Illya's attempt to help his friend says much about his own thoughts on the matter and his own place in Napoleon's life. A quiet, lovely story.