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Filk Songbook
Title: Massteria!
Publisher: L.A. Filkharmonics
Editor(s): Meg Garrett
Date(s): 1980-1985
Medium: print
Subject: Star Wars & multimedia
Language: English
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Massteria! is a Star Wars and multifandom filk songbook.

It is one of three songbooks put out by the L.A. Filkharmonics. All bear the subtitle "Star Wars & Other Filksongs."

Issue 1: Massteria!

Massteria was published in 1980 and is 40 pages long, offset, printed by John Trimble.

The folksongs are mostly about Star Wars, with a little Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Pigs in Space, Darkover, and Dracula.

  • Brush Up Your SF (The L. A. Filkharmonics)
  • Heir of the Jedi (Karen Trimble)
  • There Is Nothing Like A Droid (Karen Trimble, Doris Robin)
  • For Serina (Doris Robin)
  • Gallifreyan Lords (Meg Garrett, Anne Wilson) (Doctor Who
  • Sixteen Runs (Karen Trimble)
  • An Exotic Planet (Doris Robin, Marcy Robin, Karen Trimble)
  • On Top of the Death Star (Meg Garrett, Anne Wilson)
  • Life Was Painless (Marj Hoyt)
  • Little Troopers (Anne Wilson)
  • Jawa Marching Song (Doris Robin)
  • Tatooine's OK (Doris Robin, Karen Trimble)
  • Passing Through (Anne Wilson)
  • Skywalker's Song (Karen Trimble)
  • Leia Remembers (Karen Trimble)
  • They Can Be Mean (Doris Robin, Marcy Robin, Karen Trimble)
  • I'm a Wookiee (Meg Garrett, Marcy Robin, Karen Trimble, Anne Wilson)
  • The Free Amazon Song (Anne Wilson) (Darkover)
  • Streets of Mos Eisley (Anne Wilson)
  • Bantha Herds In The Sand: A Tusken Raider's Lament (Gary Myers, Karen Trimble, Doris Robin, Marcy Robin)
  • Is That the Millennium Falcon? (Karen Trimble)
  • Won't You Come Home, Chewbacca? (Anne Wilson)
  • On Tatooine (Meg Garrett)
  • Womprat Clementine (Meg Garrett)
  • I'm a Federation Captain (Karen Trimble)
  • Trouble (Karen Trimble)st)
  • More Money (Jamie Wallace)
  • Anthem of the United Federation of Pigs (Anne Wilson)
  • Droid of Constant Sorrow (Anne Wilson)
  • Turn Around (Marj Hoyt)
  • SF Con Suite (Jo Ann Christy, Doris Robin, Marcy Robin)
  • Lone Pirate (Karen Trimble)
  • Vader of Sith (Marcy Robin)
  • Pop Goes the Death Star (Marcy Robin)
  • Someday Soon (Meg Garrett)
  • Deck the Halls (Jo Ann Christy)
  • Doris Robin (lyricist) (Marcy Robin)
  • Gonzo's Romance (Meg Garrett, Anne Wilson) (Muppets)
  • The Force Is With Them (Doris Robin)
  • Farewell Earthsiders (Karen Trimble)

Issue 2: Massteria! Strikes Back

Massteria! Strikes Back was published in 1982 and is 64 pages long, offset, printed by John Trimble. It has the subtitle: "Star Wars & Other Filksongs."

front cover of issue #2, Bjo Trimble
back cover of issue #2, (photocopy) Bjo Trimble

The art is by Bjo Trimble (covers), Cathy Hill, Mel White, Jim Vibber, Emma Wilson, Marc Schirmeister, Mary Soderstrom, Fran Evans, Walt Davis, Jo Ann Christy, Joyce Dvorak, Marthe Benedict, and Doris Robin.

From the introduction:

The year was 1977. It was summer in Los Angeles. Something big was happening to us, something bizarre, something amazing...something STAR WARS! Like a laser blast from the blue, like a....well, you know. It probably happened to you, too.

When we heard the wonderful Star Wars filksongs of Dorothy Fontana and Lynn Barker that summer, we were inspired to write our own. That fall, we started work on Otto, the trained baby bantha, our first masquerade entry. Our stage career began with him in an overwhelming odor of burlap. Then came the uniformed Pigs In Space crewmembers, singing their anthem. From there it has gotten stranger. (No, really, there are stranger things than Link Hogthrob.)

Since then we have performed as half-time entertainment at con masquerades, at fan cabarets, at filk-cons, in a college concert series, and twice on "Hour 25", a science-fiction radio show. Our first book, Massteria!, was published in 1980, with the help of Nick Smith, who typeset the whole silly thing, and John and Bjo Trimble, our tremendously patient printers, and a number of fine artists.

This is May, 1982, five years (five? yup!) after Star Wars, and one year and counting to Revenge of the Jedi. We are still writing Star Wars songs, as well as Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Flash Gordon, Darkover, vampires, cats, and any other type of filk song that strikes our warped minds. If it stands still and doesn't fight back, we filk it.

You are holding our second book, Massteria Strikes Back, bigger and at least as strange as the first, and you should stop reading this and start singing. Yeah, now. Go on. That's better...
  • Introduction (2)
  • Filkharmonics Song (Anne Wilson & Meg Garrett) (3)
  • Brush Up Your SF, to the tune of "Brush Up Your Shakespeare" from Kiss Me, Kate; (LA Filkharmonics) (4)
  • Outward Bound (Jo Ann Christy) (4)
  • They All Laughed (Anne Wilson) (6)
  • Cats! (Anne Wilson & Meg Garrett) (7)
  • Things (Meg Garrett) (8)
  • Just An Old Sf Movie (Nick Smith) (9)
  • Give Me Blood (Marcy Robin) (10)
  • Blast Away, to the tune of "Blow Ye Winds" (Nick Smith) (11)
  • Guardswoman (Anne Wilson) (12)
  • Maids of the Dales (Anne Wilson) (13)
  • Frigia (Nick Smith) (14)
  • Ming the Merciless (Doris Robin) (15)
  • Winds of Time (Anne Wilson) (16)
  • Doctor's Memories (Anne Wilson) (17)
  • Sarah's Farewell (Meg Garrett & ?) (18)
  • More Gallifreyan Lords (Meg Garrett & Anne Wilson) (19)
  • Rag Tag Convoy (Karen Trimble) (20)
  • Double Betrayal (Marcy Robin & Debbie Shkoler) (22)
  • Litlle Baby Cylon (Marcy Robin & Debbie Shkoler) (23)
  • Adama's Theme (Nick Smith) (23)
  • Warrior's Thoughts (Marj Hoyt) (24)
  • Life Was Painless (Marj Hoyt) (24)
  • Please Glen Larson/Passage (Nick Smith) (25)
  • Indiana's March (Jo Ann Christy, Doris Robin & Marcy Robin) (26)
  • Marion's Thoughts (Jo Ann Christy) (27)
  • Indiana (Meg Garrett) (28)
  • Hallelujah Indiana (Doris Robin, with assistance from Jo Ann Christy) (29)
  • School Girl's Fantasy (Marcy Robin & Jo Ann Christy) (29)
  • Rebel Maid's Fantasy, A Harrison Ford Slobber Song, to the tune of "Cecilia" by Simon & Garfunkel (Jo Ann Christy & Marcy Robin) (31)
  • Gripe Song, or Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, to the tune of Something Better Comes Along" (Jo Ann Christy, Doris Robin, and Marcy Robin) (32)
  • The Smuggler, to the tune of "The Moonshiner" (Anne Wilson) (34)
  • Roving Scoundrel, to the tune of "Whistling Gypsy" (Meg Garrett) (35)
  • Gourmet's Delight, to the tune of "The 59th Street Bridge Song" by Simon and Garfunkel (Marcy Robin & Jo Ann Christy) (36)
  • Woeful Tale of the Nerfherders, to the tune of "Home on the Range" (Jo Ann Christy & Marcy Robin) (37)
  • Princess on His Mind, to the tune of "Mississippi" by Charlie Daniels (Karen Trimble) (38)
  • Princess Ponders, to the tune of "Love Look Away" by Flower Drum Song (Karen Trimble) (39)
  • Leia the Rebel Princess, tot eh tune of "Flora, The Lily of the West" by Peter, Paul, and Mary (Jo Ann Christy & Marcy Robin) (40)
  • Frozen Me, to the tune of Lonesome Me" (Meg Garrett) (41)
  • Imperial March, to the tune of "The Imperial March" from The Empire Strikes Back, by John Williams) (Jim Vibber) (42)
  • Imperial Walkers, to the tune of "Lady Madonna" by the Beatles (Marcy Robin & Jo Ann Christy) (43)
  • I Love Those Jedi Knights to the tune of "I Love a Rainy Night" by Eddie Rabbitt (Karen Trimble) (44)
  • Fighting Rebels, to the "Rawhide" theme (Karen Trimble) (45)
  • Hills of Alderaan, to the tune of "Scottish Soldier" (Marj Hoyt) (46)
  • Though Stars May Shine Tonight: Leia's Thoughts, to the tune of "Three Stars May Shine Tonight" -- the Dr. Kildare theme (Karen Trimble) (47)
  • Luke After, to the tune of "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell (Doris Robin) (48)
  • Master of the Force: Luke's Plea, to the tune of "Yoda's Theme" by John Williams (Jo Ann Christy) (49)
  • Master, to the tune of "Masters of War" by Bob Dylan (Nick Smith) (50)
  • Solo's Lament, to the tune of "Wanderin' Man" (Marj Hoyt) (51)
  • So Long Solo, or Don't Get Mushy, to the tune of "So Long, Dearie" from Hello, Dolly (Doris Robin) (52)
  • Thaw Me -- After Han is Rescued, to the tune of "Show Me" from My Fair Lady (Meg Garrett & Ann Wilson) (53)
  • To Bespin City, to the tune of "I Guess the Lord Must be in New York City" by Harry Nilsson (Nick Smith) (54)
  • Bespin Tradesman's Lament, to the tune of "My Horses Ain't Hungry" or "Pretty Mary" (Marcy Robin & Jo Ann Christy) (55)
  • I Am Wookie, to the tune of "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy (Doris Robin & Marcy Robin) (56)
  • Free Han Solo (Marcy Robin) (57)
  • Leia's Plea, to teh tune of "Sweet Adeline" (Marcy Robin) (57)
  • Oh Solo Mio, to the tune of "Oh, Solo Mio" (Jo Ann Christy & Marcy Robin) (57)
  • Be A Droid, to the tune of "Be a Clown" from The Pirate (Anne Wilson) (57)
  • Bespin City, to the tune of "Kansas City"from Oklahoma (Doris Robin, Karen Trimble, & Marj Hoyt) (58)
  • Gin-New-Wine Folksong, tot the tune of "There's a Hole in the Bucket" (LA Filkharmonics) (60)
  • When You're A Droid, to the tune of "Jet Song" from West Side Story (LA Filkharmonics) (61)
  • Dagobah, to the tune of "Chicago" (Dagobah) (62)
  • Farewell To Hoth, to the tune of "So Long, Farewell" from "The Sound of Music" (Doris Robin & Karen Trimble) (63)

Issue 3: Return of Massteria!

Return of Massteria! was published in 1985 and is 68 pages long, offset, printed by Michael Walsh/Crown Prints Press.

  • A Grace for Han by Meg Garrett
  • A Nebulee, A Nebula by Karen Trimble
  • A Wandering Filker I by Nick Smith
  • All Together Now! by Jo Ann Christy
  • All-Nighter by Nick Smith
  • Another Show by Anne Davis
  • Born Again Vulcan by Meg Garrett
  • Bug-Eyed Monster Blues by Karen Trimble
  • Called to Gallifrey by Anne Davis
  • Covenant's Lament by Meg Garrett
  • Dark the Times by Jo Ann Christy & Marcy Robin
  • Dear Mr. Lucas by Jo Ann Christy
  • Deckard -- in Silence by Karen Trimble
  • Dorsai Are Full of Ose by Karen Trimble
  • Dragonlord by Nick Smith
  • Dream the World by Meg Garrett
  • Elliot's Song by Doris Robin
  • Ewok Picnic by Nick Smith
  • Fantasy Writer by Nick Smith
  • Fare Well, Terra by Meg Garrett & Jo Ann Christy
  • Farewell to a Filkcon by Nick Smith
  • Filk a Song by Nick Smith
  • Harrison, Harrison by Karen Trimble
  • Hey There, Jedi by Anne Davis
  • Indiana's Archeology Song by Karen Trimble
  • Interstella Pinup Blues Nick Smith by Nick Smith
  • John Williams by Karen Trimble
  • Journal of the Whil-Billies by Jim Vibber
  • Leela of the Sevateem by Meg Garrett
  • Leia's (a) Peril by Meg Garrett & Jo Ann Christy & Marcy Robin & Doris Robin
  • Let Us Entertain You by Marcy Robin
  • Lunar Hills by Marj Hoyt
  • Maiden All the While by Anne Davis
  • Menagerie by Doris Robin
  • Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Rebels by Karen Trimble
  • My, My by Nick Smith
  • Oh, Sergeant-Major Higgins by Anne Davis & Karen Trimble
  • On the Good Ship Enterprise by Karen Trimble & Doris Robin
  • Planet Stories Blues by Nick Smith
  • Poor Fett by Doris Robin
  • Preface to the English Language Edition by ?
  • Rancor in the Dungeon by JoAnn Christy & Doris Robin & Marcy Robin
  • Relative Love by Doris Robin
  • Rise Up, You Challenger by Doris Robin
  • Science Wonks, Wips & Nerds by Robin Fletcher & Doris Robin & Karen Trimble
  • Song of the Vulgar Henchmen by Karen Trimble
  • Spaceman's Service by Doris Robin
  • Star Song by Marcy Robin
  • Stormtroopers, Tremble! by Doris Robin & Marcy Robin
  • The Age of Discovery / Hear the Stars Call by Marcy Robin