Wide Awake

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Title: Wide Awake
Author(s): Angstgoddess003
Date(s): Feb 2009 - Dec 2009
Length: 390,564 words
Genre: Het, Angst, AH
Fandom: Twilight
External Links: "Authors Master List". Archived from the original on 2018-02-24.
Wide Awake - Banner by Captivated2 (2011)

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Wide Awake is an All Human AU Twilight fanfic by angstgoddess003, focused on the pairing of Edward/Bella. The author posted a censored version of their story on FFN and an uncensored version on their Livejournal. This was likely due to FFN's ban of NC-17 content in 2002.

Many Twilight fans credit Wide Awake as their introduction to fandom and the first Twilight fanfiction they read. It was well loved within the fandom, despite its depictions of Edward and Bella being widely considered to be out-of-character (which some regard as a positive). The author's use of the term "unicorn" as a euphemism for an orgasm was embraced by Twilight fans, but other critics of the story found this off-putting.

This story has inspired many other fans to create art and vids set in the universe of Wide Awake. Each chapter was named after a cookie, which also inspired fans to create and share recipes. There were also fan sites and communities dedicated to this fic.

The fic was later removed from FFN and Livejournal by the author who was going to publish an original novel that used a lot of the same elements as Wide Awake.


Edward and Bella have dark pasts that leave them severely emotionally scarred, with nightmares that force them to stay awake. They meet and begin to form a bond during the night hours.

Impact on Fandom

In Wide Awake, 'unicorn' is used as a euphemism for an orgasm. The term became part of the twific lexicon, to the point that the meaning was understood even by those who had never read the fanfic. It inspired community names and pseudonyms within the fandom.

Other expressions used in the fic became popular within the wider fandom as well, for example, 'Daddy C' as a nickname for Carlisle Cullen.

Wide Awake was quite groundbreaking in its day. It was, in my mind the first big SuperFic. The fic that spawned fansites, fan vids and really captured the imagination of the fandom into becoming as obsessed with the fanfic Edwards as the Twibook Edward… Was the euphemism ‘Unicorn’ ever used in such a way?[1]

An example of a individual coming across "unicorn" without context:

ok so i was on this website and it showed robert pattinson licking anna kendricks face and on peoples comments people were saying 'he can me me five unicorns!' and i know that they are talking sexually but i don't know exactly what it means. Help![2]


In 2009, while Wide Awake was still posting serially, angstgoddess003 had plans to publish.

I plan to edit Wide Awake for publishing opportunities and am open to pretty much anything. I have no immediate plans to begin any stories outside of the FF realm. I feel too amateur to consider any such thing.[3]

However, by March 2011 she appeared to have changed her mind.

When I was asked if I'd consider publishing my own popular fanfiction Wide Awake, I said no, and she[note 1] wondered why this would be, since I'm so poor. I explained that, while I wish others well in their publishing endeavors, I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with it, morally speaking. I have other marketable skills I’m more confident in.[4]

In 2012, angstgoddess doubled down on this in a comment to an ohnotheydidnt LiveJournal post speculating about which major Twilight fics could be the "next 'Fifty Shades'":

Yes, I wrote a really terrible fanfic like 4 years ago, and there is literally no amount of money in this world that could convince me to 1.) Kind of totally exploit the loyalty and kindess of some really amazing fans that I didn't really earn, and 2.) Put a ridiculous amount of emphasis on my first and worst piece of writing ever.

It was written for fun, and I had plenty of it, so the end.[5]

Despite this, the author did later pull the fic, reportedly in order to publish an original novel using many of the same elements.

Reactions and Reviews

Okay, so I haven't been able to get this out of my mind the last few days. It is ultimate proof that I have a huge soft spot for bad boys with a tender side. This transforms the Edward and Bella that I love into something darker, more complex. I am draw to people with issues, watching how love can heal and their journey to healing, and this fanfic has it all.

I guess that it says something that I have a stack of books to review and all I can think about is this story! Okay, so I have said what I needed to, and talked about it a bit, now I am back to the regularly scheduled program.

Their characters are really deeply sculpted. Yes, I know its based on Twilight, but Bella and Edward only share a few characteristics of the ones in the book.[6]

The summary sounds odd, I know. This AH fic has a little bit of everything, but its heavy on the angst and the drama, with bits of humor and hilarious one-liners thrown in at exactly the right moments. The author has an awesome writing style with an extreme attention to detail, and gives these characters a whole new dimension from Twilight, especially with Edward. She bounces back and forth from Bella pov to Edward pov, and it's rated MA for sex scenes and a bit of violence (nothing too bad). She also does a ton of research for her chapters which make it all the more engaging. [7]

O.M.G Guys, you must read this fic right now if you know what is good for you. It has been making its way around my entire flist for the past couple of days and IDK one person who read it and didn't LOVE IT. It's extremely different from other fics, and E/B are ~OOC~, but it WORKS. The characterization is brilliant, and their whole relationship is so....akjsdlasdsa no words. And I will never look at cookies the same way again. GO READ IT NAOOO.[8]

I read Wide Awake by Angstgoddess003 which was fucking amazing. This should really be considered a novel rather than a story. It was a novel-length, complete. Although they used the names of established characters, it was totally alternate universe and could easily stand on it's own just by changing the character names. Anyway, it was awesome[9]

Alright, I've only said this about one other fic, but I'm pretty sure this one beats AWWS... BEST. FIC. I'VE. EVER. READ. YEAH! I know, it truly is. The writing is simply amazing, it's so descriptive and the author does such an amazing job with the two different POVs and not only that, she switches in the middle of chapters and it only makes it better! The story is so beautiful, so well developed and so damn addicting, it takes you into its grasp and doesn't let go. On top of that, the way Bella and Edward meet, their relationship and how it develops and the COOKIES! And she gets away with saying 'fuck' almost every other word, it's fabulous[10]

for anyone looking to read a really good story... You don't have to love Edward and Bella to read this story. It's so highly OOC that it's really just a fantastic story based loosely on them. The writer is AMAZING! I really can't say enough good things about it. It's absolutely terrific![11]

Bella and Edward find comfort in each other as next door neighbors both experiencing PTSS. There is so much angst, love and passion in this story. Everyone should read it! It’s about 2 people learning the difference between needing someone and loving someone. And near the end there’s a chapter defining affection vs intimacy – very well done. I loved the final written words on this one that I actually use them on my signature page on Twilighted.net forums. [12]

This story is so well written and it’s obvious the author put a lot of effort into the research behind the illness that affect the characters. Bella & Edward don’t just skate along carefree while being severally sleep deprived. That shit had serious medical consequences. As does post traumatic stress disorder which both characters obviously have. These issues are eventually addressed as the characters work towards a better relationship. The two finding solace in each other isn’t a cure-all for their problems even though they think it is.
You guys have no idea how much effort I am putting into not fangirling out right now. This story will make you laugh, cry, scream, and get so angry that you wish the characters were real just so you could punch them in the face and tell them how stupid they are. And it’s all worth it. This is just one of those great things that stick with you even as you read other things. This was my sixth time reading it and the wow factor still hasn’t worn off. I’m just blown away by it.[13]

This was the first fic I read and have reread a lot over the years. It’s beautiful and sad and makes my heart ache. As I’ve grown older and became a trauma psychotherapist I see this story now through different eyes, the fragile psyche of the teens portrayed has a different meaning to me now. The way these characters need and use each other ... I wonder what other readers think![14]

This was one of the first fanfics I ever read and I even printed out a hard copy which I found the other day, I don't know what my mum would have thought if she had found it!!

I said this in another post but this is not the kind of thing I would go for anymore but I should try it again. It's pretty iconic some things like 'unicorns' have weaved their way into other parts of the fandom.[15]

Wide Awake was not a universally loved fic. The story and author was derided for using the term "unicorn" as a euphemism for orgasms, with the author reported to have received rude private messages. The story and the wank surrounding it was reported on fandomwank.

AngstGoddess003 is the author of the very popular Twilight fanfic Wide Awake - all-human AU, where Edward and Bella are so traumatized that they can't sleep and where "unicorn" is a euphemism for "orgasm". Not all people are impressed by this fic, though. There is even a hate community dedicated to it - boredawake (friends only).[16]

Inspired Fanworks




Example Art Gallery


  • blackhoodiecook[Dead link] Livejournal community that was devoted to recreating all the recipes found in the fanfiction Wide Awake (defunct)


  1. ^ A side note that the person referred to here is Snowqueens Icedragon, author of the Twilight fanfiction Master of the Universe, better known as the fic that became 50 Shades of Grey.


  1. ^ Fictionators rec, Archived version, quote by pippapear, accessed 23 April 2013.
  2. ^ Question by user on Fanpop
  3. ^ Cullen Boys Anonymous interview (part three), accessed 23 April 2013. (password protected)
  4. ^ angstgoddess003 (10 March 2011). "Too Much Wank to Name". Archived from the original on 5 March 2021. Retrieved 23 April 2013..
  5. ^ ohmyjetsabel (16 August 2012). "<--- the author formerly known as AngstGoddess003".
  6. ^ "Review: Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  7. ^ "rec by lastperfecthing posted to twilightficrecs". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  8. ^ "recommendation post #16". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  9. ^ "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  10. ^ "Nov 27, 2008 Livejournal post". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  11. ^ "Bell Ringing and Some Recommendations". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  12. ^ "Updated Fan Fic List". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  13. ^ "Review for Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003 (Fanfic review)". Archived from the original on 2022-10-02.
  14. ^ Stardust_Riley_92 (29 October 2020). "Comment on FanFic Spotlight: Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003, posted to r/TwilightFanfic". Archived from the original on 10-20-2022. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |archive-date= (help)
  15. ^ gal05i9 (30 October 2020). "Comment on FanFic Spotlight: Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003, posted to r/TwilightFanfic".
  16. ^ mariem_1 (20 January 2009). "Leave the Goddess of Unicorn Orgasms Alone!". fandomwank. Archived from the original on 27 February 2009. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |archive-date= (help)
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