Why Can't I Just Send My Script (Story) To 1013?
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| Title: | Why Can't I Just Send My Script (Story) To 1013? |
| Creator: | Megan Reilly |
| Date(s): | October 5, 2000 |
| Medium: | online |
| Fandom: | The X-Files, but applicable to many fandoms |
| Topic: | |
| External Links: | Why Can't I Just Send My Script (Story) To 1013? |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Why Can't I Just Send My Script (Story) To 1013? is an essay by Megan Reilly
It was posted to the X-Files website Working Stiffs in 2000.
Some Topics Discussed
- violating the fourth wall
- The Powers That Be
- fiction writing
- The X-Files
- reality
The Essay
[Why Can't I Just Send My Script (Story) To 1013?]: You keep asking this question. And the answer you get, every time, is "Oh my god, just don't!" as though the very thought will induce hives, so you still don't know why you shouldn't.
I'm going to tell you why you shouldn't. Then you can make up your own mind.
Here's the big reason. You know all those people who say, "Oh my gosh, did you watch tonight's episode? That was exactly like my story X! They read fanfic, and they totally stole it from me!!!!"
They're one of the reasons why you can't send your script straight to the man himself. Movie studios and TV networks have a lot of money. Having lots of money means having lots of people who want to sue you. This is not an opinion, this is a fact, and you know it; you see it on the news all the time. So those movie studios and TV networks are afraid of being sued, because it costs them a lot of money. One of the most costly things a production company can be sued for is plagiarism, or stealing someone's ideas, and such suits are very, very common in Hollywood.
There are a lot of reasons why your idea might be similar to something you see on the screen. First of all, you're writing about the same characters. If you do something the producers did, that just means both of you are thinking the same thing about the same characters. There's also the scientific notion that there are ideas whose time has come. This happens when three people come up with the same invention in the same week. It happened with the telephone and with television. It's coincidence, kinda. Someone had to think of it, because the time had come. The other reason why your idea will be similar is because there are only so many ideas in the world. Sad, but true. There are books of "The only 40 plots that exist" whether or not you agree that's how many there are.
Anyway, because of the general similarity of all ideas to one another, and the prevalence of lawsuits in Hollywood, the powers that be won't read your stuff because they don't want you to sue them. In most cases, your material will be returned to you unread. You'll know it hasn't been read because it will be accompanied by a form or a note from the company's lawyer telling you that it hasn't been read, that whoever opened the envelope only saw enough of it to recognize it was something they weren't allowed to read, and then they gave it to the lawyer to return to you. (Note: I worked for lawyers at Warner Brothers and saw these letters. I've also seen similar forms at Disney. I wouldn't make this stuff up.)
Even if they don't return it, they won't read it. They won't use it. You'll never hear from them. So you can try if you want to, but it won't get you far.
SO WHAT DO I DO?
The best reason why you shouldn't go the unsolicited manuscript route is because it demonstrates your lack of knowledge about how Hollywood works. And even though your script might be completely brilliant, these guys don't just want brilliance. They want a professional. Knowing how the system works, and working the system, demonstrates that you're a professional. You wouldn't go to a job interview in your running shorts and Birkenstocks (I assume). It's sort of the same thing.
I'm not a Hollywood screenwriter. Not yet anyway. ;) But I have talked to people who are, and I've read hundreds upon hundreds of books, so I think I know how the system works. There is no secret to breaking in. Everyone you talk to has a different story. Two very good books to read if you're serious are "The Script is Finished, What Do I Do With It?" by K Callan, and "A Friend In The Business" by Robert Masello. Everything I'm going to tell you (more or less) is in these books. But here's the short version.
Realize that writing fanfic does not qualify you to write for shows, no matter how much you want it to. This isn't saying that fanfic isn't terrific practice (it is), or that fanfic writers can't be professional writers (some are), or that no fanfic writer has ever written for 1013 (no, I'm not going to tell you who). But for the most part, to become a professional writer, you have to approach writing professionally.
If you want to write for TV, learn to write scripts. Read the screenwriting books. Read scripts. Know the format until you can type it in your sleep. Screenplay format is a different way of writing than prose, and I'm not just talking about the INT's and EXT's and the funny tabs and things. There's a specific story structure, which you can easily learn from reading books. But more than that, it has a rhythm to it that is hard to see and hard to find. Just as with writing stories or books or poems, you'll know it when you've hit it. In my experience, it takes a long time to get to a point where you can pull all these elements together well. So start now.
Next of all, keep at it. I just said it takes time to get it all down, didn't I? (I took my first screenwriting class in college - almost 5 years ago. I think I've just now gotten the hang of the screenplay thing. I still think it's really hard. This is just me, though.)
Okay, so now you have your 43rd draft of the perfect X-Files script and you're ready for Carter& Co to read it. You just know they're going to fall at your feet, offer you millions of dollars and soon you'll be driving a Porsche down Sunset, taking meetings with Gillian Anderson and giving interviews to Entertainment Weekly.
Nope. Sorry. Where to begin. First of all, one script isn't enough. Why? Because you have to get an agent (see the lawsuit stuff, above, on why you need an agent. An agent is pretty much your stamp of acceptability in Hollywood. Okay, not everyone has an agent...Leonardo DiCaprio, for example, doesn't have an agent. But you didn't star in a movie that made a billion dollars, did you?) And an agent will want to read two scripts, mostly to make sure the first one wasn't a fluke. That the brilliance is reproducable. That you can do it again. For a different show.
That's right. Even though The X-Files is the only thing you ever want to write, you have to write a script for another show, too. Because you're not going to end up writing for The X-Files. It's the 8th season, there may not be a 9th. Not only that, The X-Files isn't going to read your X-Files script.
"What? That makes no sense at all. I wrote an X-Files so I can work on The X-Files! Look at my Mulder! Look at my Scully! They're flawless!" you say. "Even my beta reader, the queen of all fanfic, said so. Even the agent you said I had to get says so!"
This may be true, but it's really unlikely CC&Co will think so. You know how when you hear a friend telling about something you did, and you know it happened, but somehow their version just doesn't sound right? It doesn't sound like you? It's the same sort of thing. By submitting an X-Files script to The X-Files, you're stacking the cards against yourself.
So you send them your Buffy or your West Wing or whatever. And they like it. So they call your agent. "Ah ha!" you say. "Now they'll buy my X-Files script and I'll be rich, not to mention the envy of my neighbors!"
Wrong. There's a big involved process after that, of pitching a story, writing an outline, writing a script, rewriting it, and then having someone else rewrite it so when you see it on TV you don't even recognize it. But we won't get into that here. You can read those books I mentioned if you want to know that. Because I have the feeling you don't want to know. Right now, you're saying one of two things:
"Um...Isn't that an awful lot of work?" or "But I want to write for The X-Files! Now!"
To the first point, I say, Yes. Sorry. I don't know what else to tell you.
To the second point, I say, You can. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'll see you at Gossamer.