Spork! An Erotic Love Story

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Title: Spork! An Erotic Love Story
Creator: cirrocumulus & jiaren_shadow
Date(s): 20 December 2009
Medium: audio
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Ontd startrek- SPORK! AN EROTIC LOVE STORY.jpg
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Spork! An Erotic Love Story is an audiofic by cirrocumulus & jiaren_shadow. It finds a stunning answer to the question: "Did you ever notice that the Star Trek audiobook could be edited together in such a way as to make it sound like Kirk and Spock are fucking? Surprisingly graphically?"[1]

The audio clip features 3:16 minutes of Zachary Quinto (Spock in Star Trek XI) appearing to read explicit K/S fiction. A transcript of the ca. 450 word story was posted together with a download link and a streaming version of the audio clip that used a handful of movie stills as a backdrop for the K/S narrative.

The story begins with "Spock moved toward the command chair. Kirk thrust out a hand to restrain the reaching fingers. 'What are you doing?' As he met the Vulcan’s gaze, one of the science officer’s eyebrows rose prominently. He had chosen to cross a very dangerous line. “I thought you’d respond positively to such an offer,” Spock explained calmly. Kirk goggled up at him, unsure how to react. Spock moved closer and placed his fingers against Kirk’s face. Kirk was stunned", and very soon enters NSFW territory.

The audio clip went viral immediately and was linked in several blogs and articles[2][3][4][5][6][7] but the clip was only up on YouTube for a few days before CBS filed a copyright claim and had it removed.[8] What this claim is based on is unclear as 3 minutes of material from an 8.5 hour audiobook edited word for word to create new sentences (and sometimes even words that weren't in the original text! For example the word "cock" was created by removing the ending of "cockily") sounds like an obvious case of fair use. This erotic love story is still available (Vimeo and as DL) where it was originally posted but the removal from YouTube effectively removed it from all the non-fannish spaces where it was linked and stopped its viral spreading. Later some of the blogs changed their links to the Vimeo version of Spork! An Erotic Love Story.


From an interview in The Guardian:

I ask Quinto if he's heard the editing job a couple of fans did with his Star Trek audiobook, cutting his words into a slice of extremely filthy Spock/Kirk slash fiction. "Ooh, slash fiction, I see, yes, yes." He hasn't heard it. "I myself am not very well-versed in the world of slash fiction," he says, marvelling at the time one would have had to spend to edit his perfectly innocent eight-hour recording into three minutes of steamy grot. "That kind of time is a luxury that I don't have in any way. But more power to them, I suppose."[9]


  1. cirrocumulus, jiaren_shadow. SPORK! AN EROTIC LOVE STORY, posted to ontd startrek, 20 December 2009. (Accessed 22 December 2009)
  2. io9. Zachary Quinto Fulfills Your Trek Slash Fantasies, 21 December 2009. "If there's one thing that this year's Star Trek reboot was missing, it was Zachary Quinto reading graphic Kirk/Spock slash. Until now. Click through for NSFW thrills. Thanks to re-editing Quinto's audiobook version of the movie novelization, the internet now has Spork." (Accessed 03 August 2010)
  3. TrekMovie.com. Spork! A NSFW K/S Audio Edit, 21 December 2009. "Since the 60s, fan fiction has been a big part of Star Trek fan culture. A popular subset of fanfic is ’slash’ fiction, or romantic stories pairing two characters. Now a creative fan has taken this to a new level with an audio edit of the Star Trek 2009 audio book narrated by Zachary Quinto, which now tells a wholly different story." (Accessed 03 August 2010)
  4. SciFi Wire. Totally NSFW sexy Kirk/Spock slash as read by Trek's Quinto, 21 December 2009. "We all know about Star Trek slash, right? The fanfic that imagines erotic homoerotic relationships among various characters? Well, we bet you've never heard slashfic like this: Narrated by the new Star Trek's very own Zachary Quinto, as edited from his audiobook narration of Alan Dean Foster's novelization of J.J. Abrams' movie, with accompanying images from said movie. Who knew it was all right there? It's called SPORK! AN EROTIC LOVE STORY." (Accessed 03 August 2010)
  5. Chud.com. WHERE NO KIRK/SPOCK SLASHFIC HAS GONE BEFORE, 21 December 2009. "Obviously Kirk/Spock is the oldest slashfic in the universe, but this has a new aspect: it's a re-edit of Zachary Quinto's reading of the Star Trek movie novelization by Alan Dean Foster. Yes, this is Spock telling a filthy Kirk/Spock sex story in his own voice. It's pretty hilarious." (Accessed 03 August 2010)
  6. Movieline.com. Zachary Quinto Breathlessly (and Inadvertently) Narrates Kirk/Spock Sex Scene, 21 December 2009. "Sure, it may seem like Holmes and Watson wrested the bromosexual spotlight away from this summer’s Star Trek slash pairing of Kirk and Spock, but wait! What’s this? Could it be that someone reedited Zachary Quinto’s audiobook reading of the Star Trek tie-in novel to create an incredibly dirty, NSFW love scene between Starfleet’s two most eligible bachelors? If you’re up for a good time that puts the “alternate” in “alternate universe,” turn down your speakers and enjoy a graphic, three-minute encounter between Kirk and Spock that involves just about everything but a repurposed Vulcan salute (for that, we can only hope that J.J. Abrams gets cracking on a sequel right away). Top this, Jude Law!" (Accessed 03 August 2010)
  7. JoBlo.com. Hilarious Trek slashfic, 22 December 2009. "When Zachary Quinto agreed to read the audiobook for the STAR TREK novelization, he likely had no idea it would be put to this use (or maybe he did?...). Some STAR TREK fan with a lot of spare time on their hands (is there any other kind?), edited Quinto's reading into a rather erotic love story between Kirk and Spock titled "Spork! An Erotic Love Story". Maybe it's just me and my sick sense of humor but I almost spit my Fruity Pebbles all over my keyboard when I started watching this. There are times when it seems like Quinto was actually narrating a TREK slashfic it sounds so good." (Accessed 03 August 2010).
  8. December 22, 2009 the embedded YouTube link already displayed the text: "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by CBS."
  9. Alex Godfrey. Zachary Quinto on American Horror Story, Spock, and filthy slash fiction, in: The Guardian, 27 October 2012. (Accessed 03 November 2012)