Star Trek: The Lost Episode (audiofic)

From Fanlore
Jump to: navigation, search
Fanwork
Title: Star Trek: The Lost Episode
Creator: unknown
Date(s): created 1997 or before
Medium: audio
Fandom: Star Trek: TOS
External Links: Love Trek: The Lost Gay Episode Downloads can be found all over the net: search for "The Lost Gay Episode".
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Star Trek: The Lost Episode is an audiofic by an unknown person or persons, although it may have been created by two Colorado DJs the early 1990s. [1] The piece gained a wider audience when was aired on "The Dr. Demento Show" beginning in the late 1990s.

"Star Trek: The Lost Episode" is what audio engineers refer to as a "razortape". It is composed of soundbites from various episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series, edited together to create a "lost episode" in which Captain Kirk and Spock become lovers. Included are soundbites of Scotty seemingly becoming involved in the erotic goings-on.

Tapes of this nature date back to the earliest days of Star Trek fandom. The first such tape may have been the one created by M.L. "Steve" Barnes in the late 1960s, which was actually sent to Gene Roddenberry, who reportedly loved it. This tape is mentioned in 1972 where it was played at a room party attended by Dorothy Fontana. [2]

Star Trek's Lost Episode was commented on in the January 2000 issue of The K/S Press:
For several years there has been an audio tape circulating through fandom, a compilation of lines and snippets from the episodes put together to form a most fascinating whole. It exists in several different forms, some including Scotty, others excluding him, edited in different ways. We played the tape at the first K/S Press Party at Shore Leave three years ago. Since then it has also shown up on the Internet in a pretty funny way. The presentation includes doctored pictures of our fellows together (Spock’s lipstick on Kirk’s cheek!).

Transcript

  • Opening music of original Star Trek Theme
  • K: "Captain's Log: Specimen gathering mission on planet Alpha 177" (The Enemy Within)
  • K: "Mr. Spock is much stronger than the ordinary human being. Aroused, his great physical strength could kill, but it's a risk I'll have to take." (This Side of Paradise)
  • Sound effect: door opening
  • K: "Something bothering you, Mr. Spock?" (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
  • S: "May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans. I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant." (Day of the Dove)
  • K: "Unlike you, we humans are full of unpredictable emotions." (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
  • S: "Love, tenderness..." (The Enemy Within)
  • K: "Yes, yes..."
  • S: "If I seem insensitive to what you're going through, Captain, understand, it's the way I am." (The Enemy Within)
  • (romantic music)
  • K: "Don't be afraid, here's my hand, hold on." (The Enemy Within)
  • S: "You are beautiful, more beautiful than any dream of beauty I've ever known." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • K: "What is your point Mr. Spock?" (The Enemy Within)
  • S: "I love you. I can love you." (This Side of Paradise)
  • K: "Kiss me." (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
  • Music, uh, swells, and the sound of zipper being unzipped (or zipped) is thrown in.
  • K: "Are you out of your mind?" (This Side of Paradise)
  • S: "The prospect appeared quite attractive to you a moment ago." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • K: "You don't really want to hurt me, do you. Put that thing away." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • S: "No, I don't think so." (This Side of Paradise)
  • K: "No...I... can't..." (This Side of Paradise)
  • S: "...It is painless and quick..." (The Enemy Within)
  • K: *scream*
  • S: “Entry made by Second Officer Spock..." (The Enemy Within)
  • K: *scream*
  • K: "It's possible we may have hit the wrong entry point." (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
  • S: "Yes, very well, Captain." (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
  • K: "Try again." (Miri)
  • S: "If it pleases you." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • K: "What are you waiting for, hurry!" (All Our Yesterdays)
  • S: "If you'll excuse the intrusion, Captain." (The Enemy Within)
  • K: *scream*
  • K: "Bury the hatchet." (Day of the Dove)
  • S: "An appropriate choice of terms, Captain." (Day of the Dove)
  • K: *scream*
  • (door swishes open)
  • Scotty: "Achhh - Keep your Vulcan hands off. Just -- keep away! You green blooded half breed!" (Day of the Dove)
  • K: "Scotty...no, wait!" (Day of the Dove)
  • Scotty: "Are you all right, Captain?" (The Enemy Within)
  • K: "S'alright. Just a little dizzy." (The Enemy Within)
  • K: "I have to take him back...inside myself. I can't survive without him. I don't want to take him back. He's like an animal, a thoughtless, brutal animal." (The Enemy Within)
  • Scotty: "Let me give you a hand." (The Enemy Within)
  • Sound effect: zipper being unzipped again
  • Scotty: "This thing could go anywhere!" (Day of the Dove)
  • S: "You've not yet explained the nature of this thing." (This Side of Paradise)
  • Scotty: "She's a projectile, at warp nine!" (Day of the Dove)
  • K: "Get below - take command..." (Day of the Dove)
  • Scotty: "Aye, sir!" (Day of the Dove)
  • Scotty: "You're a beauty!" (Day of the Dove)
  • Sound effect: door opening
  • K: "I won't fight you anymore. (sigh) I feel so weak. (garbled) I'll be glad when this is over." (The Enemy Within)
  • S: "I am substantial." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • K: *gasps*
  • S: "You are not imagining this." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • Sound effects: sound of scuffle, repeated slaps (A Private Little War)
  • S: "Harder!" (A Private Little War)
  • K: *s-c-r-e-a-m* Sound effect: heart rate monitor
  • K: *scream* Sound effect: heart rate monitor (faster)
  • K: "What... are we doing to each other?" (Day of the Dove)
  • S: "Fascinating. The result of...stress?" (Day of the Dove)
  • K: "We've been under stress before." (Day of the Dove)
  • S: "This is impossible! I am a Vulcan." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • K: "What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak. Whose father was computer, and his mother an encyclopedia?" (This Side of Paradise)
  • S: "I'm behaving disgracefully. I have eaten animal flesh and I have enjoyed it." (All Our Yesterdays)
  • K: "Believe me, Mr. Spock, it was painful -- in... more ways than one." (The Enemy Within)
  • Scotty: "Aye, sir!"
  • K: "Captain's Log: Supplemental. I've seen a part of myself no man should ever see." (The Enemy Within)
  • K: "Thank you, Mr. Spock. From both of us." (The Enemy Within)
  • Music swells up and it's over!--

Reactions and Reviews

Just two days ago, a friend sent me a file named 'lovetrek'. I had no idea what it was about. We had just discovered our love for Star Trek and all of a sudden, he's sending me this file. I downloaded it and just before going to bed, I played it. Imagine my expression when I hear Kirk talking about Spock's strength, then Spock comes in talking about human emotions. Then Kirk asks Spock's point and our Vulcan replies; 'I love you. I can love you'. I spluttered and I spent the rest of the 'performance' spluttering; the fly being opened, Kirk's screams. By the way, Spock's "If you'll excuse the intrusion, Captain", just prior to Kirk's yell had me rolling on the floor. Well, you can imagine. One thing is imagining them doing it and another thing is 'hearing' them at the top of their voices! Now I keep the file as a treasure. [3]

External Links

References

  1. In an 1994 posting to Virgule-L Ellis Ward described how she came to hear and then record the radio piece which she then, with help from others, began disseminating among the slash fan community. It was aired on Colorado Springs radio station KIKX "The Max" in 1992. At that time, KIKX had a morning show that played alternative music and one-off performance pieces. She heard the "Kirk Spock" audio play one morning about 6:00 AM and called the station to ask them to play it again. The DJ told her he'd already archived it, but promised to drag it out for the early morning show about three days later. She then recorded it and it was sent to various fans across the United States. Source: Virgule-L mailing list emails, accessed June 6, 2011. As of 1996, KIKX became KBIQ, and today it is a Christian rock station.
  2. " Then we lured her up to a party In the Infamous 411, where we drank PON FARRs (warm tomato Juice, cayenne pepper, vodka, a green cherry, and a slice of cucumber -- symbolic of some thing or other) and listened to an obscene ST tape." -- Star Trek Convention, or, how I spent my vacation, or What would I have done for aggravation if I hadn't been helping run a convention?
  3. from The K/S Press #20