Satisfaction Guaranteed (Star Wars story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Satisfaction Guaranteed
Author(s):	Judi L. Hendricks and Paula Block
Date(s):	July 1981
Length:
Genre(s):	het
Fandom(s):	Star Wars
Relationship(s):
External Links:
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Satisfaction Guaranteed was published in Pegasus #5. It was by Judi L. Hendricks and Paula Block. It has the subtitle "Your Used Boy Back."

title page

The art for this story is by Martynn.

Series

It is part of the Cori Beckett Star Wars series.

• Assault on Logaria (in Pegasus #3)
• Stowaway (in ...Scum & Villainy and reprinted in Pegasus #6)
• A Marketable Commodity (in Pegasus #4 v.2)
• Satisfaction Guaranteed (in Pegasus #5)
• Ships in the Night (in Warped Space #46)

Controversy: Defused by Pizza

"Satisfaction Guaranteed" squeaked under the wire regarding hassles with Lucasfilm, TPTB, and sexual content.

A fan wrote a LoC regarding this story, and the letter as well as the authors' response, was printed in April 1983 in the last issue of "Pegasus."

The fan's comment:

My second [reaction] was that this was also a story that unfortunately Lucasfilm is going to disapprove of on several levels. I don't want to see you guys get into a hassle with Lucasfilms; I like your stuff too much.

The editor/authors' response

...no lawsuits to date and no threats either. We were a bit concerned about their reaction to the story as well, but there've been no repercussions. It wasn't the Fan Club's Idea of Great Literature, but neither was it worth re-stirring the hornet's nest that had been precipitated by Lucasfilm's letter campaign prior to PEG V's publication [late summer/early fall 1981]. Which is not to say that we wrote and printed the story to spite them. Definitely not. The story had been written, typed and laid out prior to word of the controversy. It went to the printer the day before the Official Advisory Letter arrived in the mail. And by then it was far too late to rethink the more controversial aspects of the story. Which is what we told Fan Club Rep Maureen Garrett when we gave her her copies of the zine. A relaxed dialogue over deep dish pizza can do wonders for offsetting imminent bloodletting, name-calling, or whatever. Which, all in all, adds up to a long aside to those readers who were curious as to whether we'd been sitting in court for the past two years...

Ships in the Night, this story's sequel published two months later in (September 1981. It was included in Warped Space #46 as a supplement with required an an age statement.

Gallery of Sample Interior Pages

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Reactions and Reviews

1982

'Satisfaction Guaranteed’ is a little too long, but it is good.

Now to the story we’ve all been waiting for: ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed, or Your Used Boy Back,’ the sequel to ‘Marketable Commodity’ in the previous issue. The story is indescribable in the limited space I have – I’ll just say it’s a must for Cori Beckett series fans of all ages,. Oh, the violence gets a little… violent… and the smarmy sections get a little… smarmy… at times, but I hope the majority of readers will see through all that to the story’s essence – the brotherly love between Luke and Han, and the courage to sacrifice for that love.

'Satisfaction Guaranteed’ appears in this zine in what is essentially first draft form and suffers from excessive and unnecessary length, a wandering storyline, and a lack of editing… Cori Beckett falls into ever trap of the classic Mary Sue she had heretofore avoided. She is the only one with any plans or ideas, and every male within ten meters, including Chewbacca, is in awe of her general wondrousness. Leia, on the other hand, shows great sense, despite the authors’ obvious intention of portraying her as subservient to Cori, by deciding the female Corellian makes her uneasy, and that she (Leia) would just as soon have nothing to do with her. That makes two of us, and that’s a real shame, as I liked all the previous Cori stories very much…

In this sequel to "A Marketable Commodity," Luke Skywalker once again ends up in the clutches of the delightfully evil Gerbashe, owner of the best little whorehouse on Friibon. Gerbashe, who has oodles of time to turn Luke into his very own used boy, has obviously lost the desire between stories--he, inexplicably, doesn't lay a finger on him. He is satisfied to use him as a servant, and only rents him out to one customer--leading to a rare funny scene. The reason for this is, apparently, that he is hoping to capture Han Solo and/or Cori Beckett when they come to Luke' s rescue. Han finally does show up, too, for one of the stupidest, bar none, rescue attempts it has ever been this reader's misfortune to see. Up until this point, the story had been pretty good--especially the section about Luke's friendship and escape attempt with a beautiful male dancer--but once Han appears, the story goes steadily downhill. Han manages to get himself captured almost immediately, and Gerbashe vengefully injects him full of bido parasites, the microscopic critters that manufacture bido oil, the sensory stimulant. Only having the entire factory mass producing within a human body does much more than cause temporary sensory pleasure. The parasites not only create bido, but with a nice energy-packed host, they create more parasites which create more bido and on and on. For the host, the pleasure intensifies until it is an agony exist, which leads to insanity and death. That's bad enough to, imagine; how would you like to read about it in vastly greater detail? How Luke manages to save Han from this horrible death is covered in page after page after page offering, repressed sexual yearnings, and sexual fantasies on Han' s part, and suffering, and tons of only partly necessary voyeurism on Luke's part. In fact, we are treated to Han's sexual fantasies so many times that this reader began to feel as voyeuristic as poor Luke. Han is given a kind of temporary relief from his suffering, thanks to these fantasies, though it is never made completely clear whether this relief is purely mental (some relief!) or physical (sorry to be indelicate, but how could this not be noticed by Gerbashe who is getting his own voyeuristic kicks by observing everything happening in Han and Luke's cell or by Luke who is only a few feet away?). Suffice it to say that Luke does finally find a way to save Han's life. And, when the cavalry finally does come over the hill, Cori Beckett takes out a personal revenge on Gerbashe that is particularly psychotic and disgusting. This scene is one that neither Cori, who never showed such viciousness in earlier stories, nor Gerbashe, an excellent villain, deserved. Even worse, Luke stands outside the door as Cori, slowly and with revolting detail, kills Gerbashe, and he does nothing to stop her. Not only is this scene ultra-loathsome, it is out of character for both Luke and Cori--and by Cori's creator, yet! What else is there? Oh, yes, how could I forget the totally gratuitous sex scene between Cori and Gerbashe's, second-in-command, Daemon Pascali? Cori is awaiting the chance to rescue both Luke, her friend, and Han, her lover, and what better way to pass the time than a bit of bed-play with her former lover? Pascali, who had been a strong, well-developed character in the first half of the story, turned into an absolute mope as soon Cori showed up. And finally, because I doubt that either I or anyone reading this will be able to stand much more, there is the closing scene -- a very tender, extremely private moment between Han and Cori with Luke eavesdropping just outside the door! In closing, all I can say is that this story left me with the feeling that tha first and second parts were not only written by different people, but that they were about different people.

1982

And so we come to "Satisfaction Guaranteed (Or Your Used Boy Back)" by two of the editors, Judi Hendricks and Paula Block. Gerbashe, the villainous nogoodnick of "Stowaway" and "A Marketable Commodity" is back, bigger and brazener than ever. Having managed to have Luke kidnapped and hauled to Disneylandoid brothel for training as a "pleasurer," he orders the shotgunning of Cori Beckett, and a hologram of the event is sent to Han at the rebel hideout, which sets Han out for Gerbashe's blood. Two-thirds of the Alliance shortly follows, because naturally Han gets captured, pumped full of an aphrodisiac-producing organism, and locked in a room with Luke. Meanwhile, Gerbashe's overseer becomes convinced of his employer's gathering insanity and... well, suffice to say that Gerbashe finally gets his, rather nastily. This story really hasn't much to do with Star Wars; it's a long (120 pp), albeit fascinating and well-crafted, detour through the authors' personal created world. With a judicious (not to mention politic) rewrite to file off the Lucas-based serial numbers, this possibly could be sold professionally, except it's probably too well written for the sleaze market. There is a small problem with time; the scenes with Han, Luke, and various incidentals are calm, almost optimistic, even in the face of slavery and death, whereas whenever Cori shows up, there's a strong odor of irrationality. Granted, the woman feels pushed too far by Gerbashe, but the discordance is marked, and seems to set Cori off from the rest of the story.

1983

This was a fitting story in deed for a zine which is subtitled "Revenge of the Pegasus." Gerbashe made Darth Vader look like a pussycat, even more so than in "Used Boy." He deserved everything Cori put him through, and more— but I was getting nauseated right along with Luke while she was doing it. Fortunately, the description of that little incident was mercifully short. The "get Han" aspect of this story was, uh, very original—in fact, I can't think of anything that would be more upsetting to Han than taking sensations that usually give him pleasure and intensifying them to the point that they would drive him insane. As a Luke Fan above all, I (figuratively) stood up and cheered for "Satisfaction Guaranteed." In "Used Boy" he was so well in character when he felt embarrassment at his surroundings, but had the courage to face and (by use of the Force) remedy his situation. In "SG", he's equally in character, considering the personality growth he must have experienced in the intervening year. I loved his disdain for the Pleasure Palace, his rebelliousness, and his refusal to break under Gerbashe's treatment. I greatly enjoyed his behavior at the banquet, and especially his smugness when he tied up the kinky lady. I also must applaud your plotting skill, Judi and Po, at getting Luke in and out of that place twice with (shall we say?) ((Why not?)) his virtue intact. The "good, pure heart" Leia and I both admire so much in Luke was well-preserved. Although aspects of his personality were undoubtedly changed by his experiences on Llewion, the core of what makes him uniquely Luke Skywalker didn't change, and I, for one, appreciate it. I'm also glad you included Leia so much in this story—as, in fact, an integral character, important to the plot. It was good to see her feelings for both Luke and Han, and the conflict between them she must feel right into TESB and beyond. As I intimated before, the "get" aspect of this story "got" to me at times, but I can accept it because it helped to bring out the beautiful brotherly relationship between Luke and Han. Han walking into that snakeplt voluntarily, for Luke's sake...his being willing to kill himself, if the bido infection got to be dangerous to his friend... Luke's search for some way to help Han, and his success...it all brought out their love for each other a hundred times better than a mere essay discussion of their relationship could. My feelings were similar to what I felt when I read Maggie Nowakowka's "Last Flight of the Millenium Falcon"—I knew that the hurting and wickedness (on Gerbashe's part) were not the ralson d'etre of this story, but a factor in clarifying something very wonderful. I wanted to say a word, also, about Luke's use of the Force in this story. I was thinking about his statement to Yoda in TESB: "But I've learned so much (about the Force) .". If this story were part of the "real' SW universe, Luke's development of his special talent, and his growing confidence in it, would show how he could say that to Yoda in utter truthfulness. I could hit on other points, of course,—this is hardly an exhaustive commentary—but I think that you've got the idea that I liked "Satisfaction Guaranteed" tremendously...

In case you hadn't guessed by now, I am a big Han Solo fan. What can I say but "Whew!" The characterization of Solo was the best I have ever read. There's definitely more to our beloved Corellian smuggler than meets the eye. Luke was also well done, even if a little saccharin in places, but then, I'm not well versed on Skywalker. Daemon Pascali and Cori Beckett are great new additions to the saga. I can see why Han risks all to avenge her (as well as free Luke). I wouldn't call "Satisfaction Guaranteed" smarmy (in the current fannish sense of the word). I call it highly erotic and filled with sensual imagery.

"Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Used Boy Back." Free the Pegasus Two! Or, have you established the address yet for the Hendricks-Poblocki Defense Fund? Actually, I think you've got a lot more to worry about in your "Ships In the Night", but you guys seemed a bit worried about getting sued, so I couldn't resist a bit of teasing. I sat up until two a.m. last night finishing your epic. Very well written... Better than the original "Used Boy" thoroughly enjoyable at the beginning (I particularly liked the bit where Luke tied his customer to the bed—and she liked it enough to get him off the hook!), then later it really got too intense to be enjoyable (I don't think you really meant those scenes where Luke and Han were being tortured to be enjoyable, after all), but even harder to put down. The part about the shattered nerves in Luke's face was especially hard to take... And that part where Han thought he really had lost his mind because it couldn't really be Cori! I'm afraid I wasn't real fond of Cori's final revenge on Gerbashe—not that it was out of character or that he didn't deserve it. But that doesn't mean I have ta like it, does it? It pretty well turned my stomach. And I wound up actually feeling sorry for that SOB, something I wouldn't have thought possible a page earlier.

Well, my first reaction was that this was some project of a story. My second one was that this was also a story that unfortunately Lucasfilm is going to disapprove of on several levels. I don't want to see you guys get into a hassle with Lucasfilms; I like your stuff too much. ((Ed's note: no lawsuits to date and no threats either. We were a bit concerned about their reaction to the story as well, but there*ve been no repercussions. It wasn't the Fan Club's Idea of Great Literature, but neither was it worth re-stirring the hornet's nest that had been precipitated by Lucasfilm's letter campaign prior to PEG V's publication. Which is not to say that we wrote and printed the story to spite them. Definitely not. The story had been written, typed and laid out prior to word of the controversy. It went to the printer the day before the Official Advisory Letter arrived in the mail. And by then it was far too late to rethink the more controversial aspects of the story. Which is what we told Fan Club Rep Maureen Garrett when we gave her her copies of the zine. A relaxed dialogue over deep dish pizza can do wonders for offsetting imminent bloodletting, name-calling, or whatever. Which, all in all, adds up to a long aside to those readers who were curious as to whether we'd been sitting in court for the past two years... -- Amy)) Anyway, a few comments: characterization was very good. Ideas were intriguing. Nice Martynn illos. However, a few bobbles here and there: please, do not use Terran-species specific names! While a general name is okay, something like page 270's "lashed out like a cobra" is wrongo, folks. This is a different planet, different universe... use snake or make up a something-snake name, but don't say "cobra"—it's too terran specific! Even things like "bearlike" are borderline—"Ursanold" would be better. ((We tend to agree with your criticism, but it is difficult to know exactly when to draw the line in writing a SWARS story— too many euphemisms can make a story sound strained and silly; often the writer has to toss a coin in deciding whether to go with the term which will put the image he/she intends into the reader's mind or whether to stretch for something vague but semantically accurate for the universe. We strongly disagree with substitution of a word like"Ursanoid" for "bearlike". If good old generic English won't serve, Latin certainly won't. The saga may have taken place "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away," but I don't think Lucas had ancient Rome in mind... -- Eds)) Page 283: It is interesting to note that although Luke refuses to consider himself a slave, you do use the line "Skywalker studied his master's..." Is Luke-slipping? Is he beginning to fall into the role? Or is that just you guys forgetting a bit? ... There are other little bobbles, including typos, but I do more than my share of those. In spite of my critical comments, the zine was well worth it.

Gawds...How can I possibly comment on "Satisfaction Guaranteed"? It's just a monster of a story and I could go on for days. I will first preface this with a question—are you ever going to print a full collection of stories in the Cori Beckett series? That might be nice you know— i since I have no idea where to get them all, and I would really like to read them. I feel as though I've come into this In the middle (which I'm sure I have).... I really liked Luke's characterization this time around. Some people have this awful habit of making Luke out to be an awful young greenie and wimpy. Ren was very strong and got along well in the slew of created characters running around. Pascali, however, steals the show. I knew that I wanted to like that guy all through the story, and he finally comes through in the end. Wonderful! I must admit, though, that I initially approached this story with a great deal of trepidation. I am not specially fond of "get Luke/Han stories with some sex thrown in." (No, I am not jumping on Lucas' moral majority bandwagon! I just happen to feel that unless it's done right...) I sometimes feel as if that is all that some folks have to write about. I think sometimes that's why amusing little stories or poems, like Marcia Brin's, come across so well. "Satisfaction Guaranteed", however, surprised me, by not approaching the standards of those stories that I hate. I thought that it was very well written—tight and concise with some especially vivid and chilling scenes. Like pages 253 and 255, 277, 325, and of course, how could I forget— 346-7. Bravo!! They were so descriptive!! I could almost see it...well...almost...some of it I wouldn't want to be peeping in on. I don't know what else I could really say, except that I really enjoyed the whole thing and I'm definitely looking forward to more in the same vein.

...I am seriously disappointed with "Satisfaction Guaranteed". I read and enjoyed "Used Boy" very much but this sequel does not live up to or better its beginning. I know both authors can do far better than this—I've seen them do better, in "Foreshadows", "Comfort", and "Continuator." As I said earlier, if an author does not believe in their characters or plot, they will not be able to cause my suspension of disbelief, on which fiction, like drama, is founded. I don't think the authors believe that the plot of this story could happen, even if the SWARS characters could exist. I don't believe it's possible either. This Is a "get'em" story, in the most blatant fashion, where everybody gets to feel bad. I used to enjoy such stories until I began to feel that the reader was getting beat up, enslaved, cut, etc. right along with the poor suffering heroes. Catharsis is great, but if there's any purpose to violent stories, it's to find out what makes OUR HERO tick when his Wookiee, his starship, and/or his magnum are gone. Han doesn't have time in this story to show or tell what goes on with him. He's injected and despairing before the reader can yell "No!" He walks dead-on into a known trap without a chance of rescuing Luke himself. And his actions from that point on are determined by a drug/poison/parasite, not by his own strength of will. I don't believe it. It doesn't work. It doesn't match the character of Han in SWARS, or TESB, or "Stowaway," "Logaria," or"Used Boy." I don't recognize or much sympathize with this numb, despairing Corellian in over his head, leaving a chancy rescue scheme to a worried Wookiee, a headachy, inept and jealous Princess and a ragtag bunch of spacers Leia can just barely control. Talk about "more like suicide"! ...To be plain, "Satisfaction..." doesn't satisfy. If I were Han, Leia, Cori, Chewie, etc., I would definitely want my "used boy" and my credits back. The premise doesn't work, it's too grim, too violent, and much too bloody. And I really don't think a marvelous bastard like Gerbashe needed gutting , but that's a minor point.

Ah, now we get down to the real business of the zine: THE story. I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that Lucasfilm objects to this piece. I found a hell of a lot of it pretty objectionable too. Not the least of the problem is Cori Beckett. She's gone from an interesting, reasonably well-rounded character to a cardboard 2-sided stereotype: one side is the super-macho tough broad, the other Is the helpless maiden totally controlled by her emotions. Okay, the creator of Maeve Solo has no room to complain about another character out for vengeance, right? It's not the vengeance theme I object to, it's the mindless viciousness. So Cori, with her background, can be expected to feel a bit sadistic towards Gerbashe. It isn't necessary to describe in loving gory detail how she gets her revenge, and it seems rather unlike Luke to stand by without making some sort of objection to her method—which sounds like Gerbashe's style when you come right down to it. And the business with Han's torture, going on forever, it seemed. It really gets to be a bit much after a while, folks. Between that interminable scene and the totally unnecessary "obligatory sex scene" with Cori and Pascali, this story makes "Marketable Commodity" look almost acceptable by comparison. Luke and Ren provide the only bright spot, and Ren's death is one of the real "down" parts of the story. But at least it isn't dragged out sadistically. A rather strange thing I've noticed: Hendricks and Block by themselves write fine stories, depending on plot and characterization to carry the action. But together they seem to rely on sadism, voyeurism, and emotional overacting and reacting, as if they don't trust plot and characterization to be enough. ((Editors' note: The authors resent the implication that they need each other to pen a smutty, disgusting story. We're each capable of creating all of the above in an individually authored story. Similarly, we are capable of working together to produce a story with no inherent sado-masochistic/smarmy/naughty themes at all, "Foreshadows," for example. So watch those generalizations, sportsfans.)) "MC' and "SG" could have been good stories with the same plots handled differently. It's truly a pity to see talent wasted like this. I hope they'll get over their problem soon.

And now, the piece de resistance (ta dah!) "Satisfaction Guaranteed...or your used boy back" (Sounds of cheers and catcalls fill the stage).

Now that's a story and a half! Ya know, I really like Cori Beckett...I'm sort of nervous about how you're gonna get rid of her so Han and Leia can get together. I hope she Finds Happiness with Pascali instead of Biting the Big One.... She really must be a well-written character for a person to worry about how she's gonna wind up. Anyways, on the Smarm Scale, I'd give it an 8. Nothing wrong with that, mind; it's on a scale with Mary Poppins as a 1, and Deep Throat as a 10. Smarm don't bother me; I will say, however, that the scenes with Beckett and Pascal slide dangerously close to the schlock one finds in those books with overblown clinches on the cover (ya know, the books with stories about the flaxen-haired governess going to the castle where the master of the house has flashing dark eyes that seem to look right through her...and there's always an insane relative locked in the attic.) To be honest, the things I like best about the Beckett novels (and they are long enough to be considered novels) are the wonderful bits of 'business' you guys slip into the stories. Some examples: Leia being taken aback by the "expensive jumpsuit" description of her tech suit...Luke appearing as a giant to zZug (and stepping on his tail to stop him)..."Barma beans"..."indies and imps"...the invention of the Covallites...the invention of the Bido parasites and their unfortunate life cycle. All those bits of business add up and give us a story that is like a woven tapestry.

1985

...deals with the ties between the two men is "Satisfaction Guaranteed" in Pegasus 5. Here Luke is returned to the tender care of Gerbashe, the obese owner of a pleasure palace on Llewion. It is all part of a plan to take revenge on Han Solo. Han's less-than-successful rescue attempt puts him into Gerbashe's pudgy fingers, and the fat man in flicts a very special torture on him. Injected with a pleasuring-causing, drug. Solo will die from the ever-increasing sensations. Luke uses his burgeoning Force skills to destroy the bido, but he is the victim of Han's intense sexual fantasies about Leia. The story emphasizes the lengths both Luke and Han will go to for each other.