On deleting fics, going pro, and poetry and dreams

Meta
Title:	On deleting fics, going pro, and poetry and dreams
Creator:	probablyintraffic
Date(s):	18 February 2017
Medium:	Tumblr post
Fandom:	Panfandom
Topic:	Deleting fanworks
External Links:	On deleting fics, going pro, and poetry and dreams (original post) On deleting fics, going pro, and poetry and dreams (archive link)
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On deleting fics, going pro, and poetry and dreams is a 2017 Tumblr post by probablyintraffic. As of September 2021, the post has 79 notes.

Some Topics Discussed

• Lost fanworks
• Deleting fanworks
• Filing Off The Serial Numbers

The Post

I admit that this is a very self-centered post, but the whole point of it is to tell you to not delete your fics unless you absolutely must.

The rest of us of course have no say over this. As writers you (and I) should be able to scrub our writing off of the earth, for whatever reason we wish. But I beg you, for the good of all of us, and no matter how terrible, regressive, atrociously written you think your fic is, please don’t delete it.

Just today, I have spent an upward of 2 hours looking for the remnants of Adelaide’s Freudian Slip, a rare novel-length Harry/Ron fic, trolling the Internet Archive, ffnet, livejournal, etc., etc., etc. I had chapters 1-5 and 10, 11, 14, but not the rest, which are tantalizingly out of reach. It’s not only frustration on my part, though that is there, but also this sense of loss that I can’t help but feel, this sense that try as we might, try as we must, the message in the bottle never made it to land. You may not want anyone to read your story now, but you may no longer be the person who first set the message to sea. The fifteen-year-old you, the twenty-two-year-old you, she was trying to reach someone, was she not?

A lot of us was half raised by fandom, leaving pieces of ourselves scattered across the net. There is something poetic in letting the raw fits and starts of our teenage-hood stay for someone else to find, someone in the midst of their own fits and starts. Though there is poetry–and sadness–in ephemera too, so who am I to say. I just thought, there is enough uncertainty in the world, so let this be something that lasts.

Of course, I don’t begrudge anyone filing off the serial number and going pro, because for one, part of the story is still out there for us to find, and for two, if it was me about to be able to reach a whole new group of people, I would take the chance in a heartbeat. And writers do have to live.

But beyond living, sometimes we dream. Fandom is nothing but fantasies, the best of which being the fantasy that we can exist communally, on the margins, outside the market. The worst thing that can happen to that fantasy and shatter the dream is professional publishing, which though necessary, is a necessary evil. Someday the communal dream can come true, and like stories, that dream will live longer than you and I, but that dream can’t reconcile with this world.

Also, don’t delete your fics.

Response

[brynne-lagaao]

#this is why I will never delete my fics #even the old ones that I think are crappy

[lady-divine-writes]

[...] but this whole post is a new level of manipulative b.s. Author’s own their fics - period. What they want to do with them is entirely up to them and no one else. If someone wants to delete their fics for any reason, that’s entirely on them. You don’t get the right to guilt them into keeping them online. There are people who have deleted fics for religious reasons. They don’t want evidence of what they have written online for the sake of their own spirituality, and that’ alright. That’s their decision. Some people have been treated cruelly by fandom, and just want to erase their existence in it. That’s alright. It’s their decision. And then there are the people who want to have their work published … like me.

[...]

But there’s a point in our lives where we have to say we’re doing what we’re doing for ourselves (Isn’t that what everyone’s so quick to say when we don’t get comments on a fic? You write for yourself?) So here’s the deal - if I, or any other writer, have written something that you love, f**king download it. Don’t wait till it’s too late. Do it when you read it. Even if it’s a WIP. Realizing that everything in the world is “ephemeral”, you should know that nothing lasts. AO3 could shut down tomorrow. You don’t know. Don’t put that guilt on the author for making a better life for themselves, for cleaning their own slates or grasping an opportunity. You like a fic, download it. End of story. If you miss out on the opportunity, you have no one to blame but yourself. No author is obligated to keep their s**t online for the sake of YOU, not for your “endings and raw beginnings”, or all of your poetic nonsense. And this b.s. can just go the f**k away because f**k that.

#fanfic wank #seriously guys #stop this manipulative crap

[barbaratwilightpottter]

It’s very sad not to find a piece of your past — even if it cringes — because it is part of you and still gives you the necessary feelings, whether nostalgic or content to go move on. I’ve already gone through the bad feeling of the bitterness in my mouth, of looking for something and not being there anymore. It’s sad, it’s uncomfortable, and I agree that a person has the right to erase whatever they want, but “fair use” still exists. And that’s what I cry out for, before you delete let people create your backup copy, to have that memory of a happy past.
We live in a time of ephemerality where everything is fleeting, too fast, instantaneous.

[...]

So I ask, you can delete whatever you want from yours, but let us give you a chance to use a Wayback Machine as a way for someone in the future to say “this person, this professional author had a vast fandom and everything is due to that pearl that fostered his writing and made him who he is."

Related Posts

• You don't own your fics: Against the idea of ownership in fandom (30 April 2017)