Lover In Low Light
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Lover In Low Light |
| Author(s): | Chrmdpoet |
| Date(s): | Published August 8, 2015 – April 20, 2016 Deleted June 2017 |
| Length: | 85,157 words; 5 chapters[1] |
| Genre: | modern AU, femslash |
| Fandom: | The 100 |
| External Links: | Goodreads page |
 Fic cover created by asdotnet (alternate covers here) (2016) | |
Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Lover In Low Light by Chrmdpoet is a popular Clexa fanfiction that was originally hosted on Archive of Our Own. It is a modern AU in which Clarke and Lexa are exes who are reunited after 5 years.
The fic was published in 5 chapters from August 8, 2015 to April 20, 2016.[1] It was deleted from AO3 in June 2017 so that it could be republished as an original romance novel after filing off the serial numbers. The commercial version, titled The Art of Us, changed Clarke and Lexa's names to Charlee Parker and Alexandra Woodson respectively.[2]
Before it was deleted, the fic had in excess of 10K kudos, 1.7K comments, 2K bookmarks, and 175K hits on AO3.[1]
The original summary from AO3:[1]
"You're never going to love anyone the way you loved her. That kind of love, it only happens once in a lifetime, so if you’re waiting to feel that way again, I think you’re always going to be waiting."
or
Five years after their relationship's end, college sweethearts Lexa and Clarke find themselves in the same city again. Now, they are different people with different lovers and different lives, but neither ever fully let the other go. Will what they once had still be all they are looking for, or is it finally time to truly let go and move on?
Author's Notes
Chapter 1: It Isn't What It Used To Be
Hello everyone. This story is the result of an incredible effort of mine, and so much time and heart and soul has already gone into it, so I hope you will give it a chance, and I hope you will enjoy it.
This story pings back and forth between the present and the past, and flashbacks are designated by the use of italics. The flashbacks in this story do not occur on a linear timeline. They occur relative to what is happening in present time in the story. Mysteries that arise in this first chapter will unravel as the story continues.
A bit of information--Raven and Finn had no prior relationship in this story, and Raven did not know Finn before he became involved with Clarke.
I wrote this first chapter to a soundtrack of "Chances" by Five for Fighting. I hope you will give it a shot. Enjoy! XO-Chrmdpoet
Chapter 2: Somehow Still the Same
Hello everyone! This is a monster of a chapter, nearing 20K words, and was an enormous effort of mine. So much heart and soul (and tears) have gone into this story, and it means so much to me, and this chapter as well. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I am enjoying creating it.
I wrote this chapter to a soundtrack of "Never Say Never" by The Fray. Give it a shot. Enjoy! XO-Chrmdpoet
Chapter 3: Things That Cannot Be, Always Will
Hello everyone. Please accept my apologies for the rather long wait on this chapter. Life has been rather unkind the last few months, and I've been struggling with many things, but I've gotten back around to feeling like myself again, so I've been writing much more. Additionally, after quite a LOT of writing and quite a bit more deliberating and discussing with my darling wife, I've decided to change this story from three chapters to five chapters, primarily for the sake of flow, but for other reasons as well. I'm very satisfied with the decision, and the story feels much more well-rounded and better to me this way. I hope you all will enjoy it as well.
I would like to thank you all for your patience and for your continued love and support. It means more to me than I can say, as I have put an incredible amount of heart into this story.
I wrote this chapter to a soundtrack of "Follow You Down" by Matthew Mayfield. Give it a try. I hope you all enjoy. XO-Chrmdpoet
Chapter 4: We Aren't Who We Used to Be
Thank you so much for your patience, everyone. This chapter was an emotional roller-coaster to write, so I hope you all enjoy it. I wrote this chapter to two soundtracks: "The Weight of Us" by Sanders Bohlke and "Heart In Wire" by Matthew Mayfield. Enjoy! XO-Chrmdpoet
Chapter 5: Old and New, Us, Again
Thank you, everyone, for your patience. This is the final chapter of this story, and I want you all to know how much your support and encouragement and love for this story and this journey has meant and continues to mean to me. This story, as I have said before, is so incredibly dear to me, and I have poured my heart and soul and so much time into it. I hope you will all enjoy this final installment.
I wrote this chapter to a soundtrack of the "MerDer Theme" from Grey's Anatomy, and I highly recommend it as a reading companion. Take care, everyone, and enjoy! XO-Chrmdpoet
Reactions and Reviews
Original Fanfic
From Goodreads:
[5 stars]
I shamelessly declare that this is one of the best things I've read in my life.[3]
[5 stars]
Absolute masterpiece. I read this when it was first posted on archiveofourown 5 years ago and went back today to try and find it but it wasn't there. I was so upset at the thought of having lost this but luckily I have found it here and will absolutely be purchasing a copy off Amazon to support the author.
What an amazing piece of work and an amazing reminder for myself of a happy time in a wonderful and magical fandom with magical people that changed my life 5 years ago.[4]
[3 stars]
loved it then and i still love it now but eh it's not my favourite from this writer.[5]
From Tumblr:
I'm just over here drowning in emotions.....thanks chrmdpoet Lover in Low Light has ruined me.[6]
#ILL JUST BE OVER HERE SCREAMING ABOUT HOW HEART WRENCHING IT IS AND HOW BEAUTIFUL THE WRITING IS
the anxiety attack scene after dinner is so incredibly written it makes me ache for someone to calm me when I'm like that more than anything in the world.[8]
I HAVE BEEN READING LOVER IN LOW LIGHT FOR TWO HOURS NOW AND ITS TAKING ME SO LONG BECAUSE I HAVEN'T STOPPED SOBBING SINCE AND I CAN'T READ THROUGH ALL OF THESE TEARS SOMEONE HELP[9]
This fic is a modern AU with Clarke and Lexa being in their late 20s where they dated back in college but are no longer together. They are now back in the same city and drama ensues. Or rather tears. Lots of tears. Bucketfuls really.
I was looking forward to reading this mostly based on the author’s previous work. And this is good but there are some things that I think the author could have done better.
The writing and prose are of a very good standard, the story is tight and doesn't have any plot holes which pleases me greatly. Not to mention that the title is relevant to the fic and makes sense in more way than one. The characters are well written although I think that Abbey, was written best. Probably because she's the character that makes most sense. I also really appreciated that the story kept Raven’s disability. The author likes to play with tropes eg drunken night out together, but never fully indulges them. I also enjoyed how the past and present flow really smoothly, which isn’t something that is that easy to do, without it feeling forced.
The author has also decided to make this a 5 chapter fic rather than 3 chapter fic. This is definitely a good call because there is no way that everything could get tied up properly in 1 chapter.
The story is written with a lot of gravitas. To be honest with too much. They basically split up because both Clarke and Lexa chose their careers over their relationship. Which is a reasonable choice to make if one makes that decision. Respectable and understandable. But at the same time, the author pushes the SOULMATES!!!! pretty much wherever they can. But if both chose their careers how can that be the case? Considering all the angst involved, it felt very anticlimactic that that was the reason. But I wanted to give the fic the benefit of the doubt. Surely whilst that was the reason now there is the accompanying stuff, betrayal, abandonment and guilt. But most of the time they're just crying because basically they miss each other and think they messed up. The real blocker, so far at least, seems to be that both Clarke and Lexa have partners.
Now I get what the author is trying to do. Give an external reason for the break up. Add external stumbling blocks for them picking things up. It avoids any one person being seen as the bad guy. The fic would be far more interesting and compelling if the internal reasons were developed further. Because even if they were single, there is further work to be done between them.
This is more of a personal thing,the basis of the entire plot is soulmates! never sits well with, particularly here as it is pushed in such an unsubtle way. The reason I don't really like that plot device is that removes tension. I'm not particularly concerned with the how, because well they're soulmates they're definitely going to get it together. The fic is written with so much gravitas but the plot can’t carry it. Because this story is ultimately of two people who valued other things over the relationship and not really doing anything about their miserable situation, I also find myself not caring as much to how they manage to sort themselves out.
And there was something that left me flabbergasted. Clarkle and Raven are having a heart to heart about Lexa. Raven shares with Clarke:
"You're never going to love anyone the way you loved her. That kind of love, it only happens once in a lifetime, so if you're waiting to feel that way again, I think you're always going to be waiting."
To be read: Give up it's never going to be as good. Just make do. Raven is basically asking Clarke to do as illustrated below.
Please. Never say that. To anyone. Even if their partner died. Even if it's true.How much better would have been something along the lines of:
"You're never going to love the way you loved her. Nor should you. One person isn't a replacement of the other. You're never going to find a Lexa 2.0, but you can find someone new and you can love them in a completely different way. True love will find you in the end Clarke, but only if you keep looking."
No wonder Clarke can't get over Lexa after all these years with friends and family saying that. My hope for the next couple of chapters is that the author spins the idea of soulmates on its head. Because even if such a thing exists, it is clearly not enough. Without the work, compromise and communication, love on its own is not enough.
Chapter 3 was the strongest chapter so far, so I hope that the fic keeps getting stronger. I would recommend, and I will read the rest when it comes out. I would like to see less melodrama and general feeling sorry for themselves for something they did, and more plot as most of the focus has been on the past although admittedly those scenes were the strongest generally. That said the scene between Clarke and Finn in Chap 3 was done really well so I am optimistic.[10]
I'm on chapter 3 of Lover in Low Light and oh my fucking GOD this is so Good. I can't believe how good this is. Fuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkk[11]
everything hurts and my emotions are a thunderstorm but everything is fine because it was perfect.[12]
Hey! For all of you sleeping under a rock for the past 24 hours, @chrmdpoet completed "Lover in Low Light". Go. Read. Now.
Totally worth the uninterrupted hours of your life you'll spend reading it; and the emotional storm guaranteed to follow each well thought word.[14]
MOTHERFUCK LOVER IN LOW LIGHT! WHERE DO I START?@?@?@?!!?#@ y'all i'm so happy that last chapter was light-hearted (by LILL standards lol) ugh all the angst and the crying hurt me in a really good way, like that last chapter helped with slowly letting go of 307 pain (won't ever forget it tho), it's helping me with closure?? like this super fleshed out universe where clarke and lexa are finally happy and ALIVE. they're both alive and they have their whole life to grow and be happy together??? unlike T100 canon T_T i just love this fic so much and will probably read it multiple times in the span of my life
LILL clarke and lexa, i love you both so much and ugh my heart is all over the place thank you @chrmdpoet
it's cold. it's beautiful.[15]
i just finished lover in low light by @chrmdpoet and im like. how will i ever have emotions again. this fic is literally everything ?????? i cant handle this like so much angst but with the best resolutions and so much sex with feelings ??? unfair. everyone is characterized so perfectly fkdfjkdfflkdsdfds. pls replace every tv show writer ever thx[16]
if you've ever given someone shit for reading fanfiction, please stop and read 'lover in low light' by chrmdpoet. it is ART, a perfect piece of art, infinitely better than ANY actual, published works i've read. regardless of whatever you're a fan of, whatever you like to ship, it is a spectacular testament to the beauty of the human mind and what it can create - the way words evoke emotions in people. i can't say enough about it. i'm going to be thinking of this for a very, very long time.[17]
I just finished reading "Lover in Low Light" in 4 times ITS STILL HURT AND AMAZING[18]
#lover in low light aka best clexa fanfic
It's 3am and I just finished Lover in Low Light and I have no words. One of the most beautiful fics I have ever read. There are legit tears falling onto my keyboard. I don't know why it took me so long to read it but wow, I'm just so blown away! This made my heart soar and helped my mood so much because these past few days have been so hard.
Thank you, Chrmdpoet for writing such a beautiful piece of art.[19]
I, uh.. really miss re-reading 'Lover in Low Light' when I'm feeling down. I'm not actually sure why it's gone, and it doesn't much matter because it's completely her right – her work, her art and I get so mad when people are angry at writers for taking their work down – but I still really, truly miss it.[20]
Published Novel
[5 stars]
'Ylva-Publishing ARC provided in exchange for a honest review'
4.5stars!
A remarkable grit filled work of good penmanship in an emotionally charged romantic love story of performance in its own right,this book is a vivid and powerful rendering of the unparalleled lives of both extraordinary leads. Some readers will also enjoy certain parts of this storyline which dealt with art and peek into the mind of one of the leads who's preeminent style was an echo or focus in this book because of her passion and love that she shared both on her canvases and towards the only 'ONE' person that she ever truly loved. The real strength of this story is the great storytelling,their P.O.V, the exceptional writing,the good chemistry,the support of their friends & family and also the author's other ideas etc. Ms.Hughes delivers the most probing,well-rounded cast of characters,free-flowing dialogue,fast-paced,insightful relationship,family & friendship biography to date in this seemingly endlessly and surprisingly winner/book-- a story that is truly both a heady intellectual study of lives with ups & downs problems but eventually coming back as one and also a literary page-turner for everyone because its that good![21]
[5 stars]
Edit: I am changing my rating to 4 1/2 Stars. I originally only rated this 4 stars, but I keep thinking about this book and I think my rating was a little too low.
This was really good and emotional. I'm not kidding about being emotional; I lost track on how many times I was flat out crying. I love when a good book can make you feel, and this book definitely did.
What happens when you run into your soulmate after being apart for five years? Charlee and Alex are about to find out. That's it, that’s all you’re getting for a summary. It’s the main storyline in a nutshell and I don't want to spoil anything.
I have read other books where characters supposedly found their soulmate. I have never quite believed it as much as this book. Wow, talk about a connection the two mains had. The chemistry was just off the charts. You knew without a doubt that these two were meant to be together, you just don't know if they would be together.
I have never read Hughes before, but damn she can write. This book was so emotional and heart wrenching in places. But it was also warm and about being a family, blood and otherwise. The characters where all so incredibly fleshed out. They were realistic and you felt their emotions and what they were going through. Even the secondary characters were wonderful. Actually, they were some of the better secondary characters I have read in a while.
Anyone who has read a chunk of my reviews knows a pet peeve of mine is flashbacks. I honestly can't stand them. This book is filled with them. Did I mind them? I can't believe I am saying this but no I did not. They were well written and added to the story. This story could not have been told correctly without them. This is one of the first times I can recall flashbacks being so meaningful and necessary to the story.
Romance fans that are looking for a good emotional read don't pass this book up. This book was way better than I expected and I have a feeling others will enjoy it too. I feel like now I have to run and read another of Hughes' books. (Netty, I know you have been telling me to read Popcorn Love for over a year, I’m finally listening now.) If Hughes’ others books are anywhere as good as this one, I know I will enjoy them.
An ARC was given to me by YLVA, for a honest review.[22]
[5 stars]
My second book by the author, the first one was Popcorn Love, I found it too cheesy. The Art Of Us however was a second chance romance written superbly right. The first time Charlee met Alex, they got into a serious argument over parking spot, the insults and banters were grins and highlights worthy. The second time they met, the banters were followed with sex. What??? They had sex after the 2nd meet, oh noooo.. Instant much? I didn't mind such scene though because kudos to Ms.Hughes, the story was interesting from the start, their tale was told from the past and present + they did it in the library. *hides my face, sorry dad and sis... both are librarians* Anyways, they were in a relationship for 4 years then Alex got a career opportunity so she moved and they settled to a long distance relationship but it failed and left both brokenhearted.
After 5 years of separation, Alex returned and now the wonderful, magical world of romance began. They were both in relationships with other people but onced they accidentally saw each other again at Charlee's art exhibition, it was like Mission Impossible's lighting the fuse scene+the theme song.
I absolutely love this story, Alex and Charlee had the spark, the bite, the chemistry+biology and physique that I usually looked for in a couple. Vinny [Alex's sister] Cam [Charlee's bff] Gabby and Drew [Charlee's parents] formed a bond when Alex and Charlee became a couple. Choosing a/two favorite character was impossible, I loved them all.
This book is pricey, USD9.99 and not available on KU. I still consider myself as a Lesfic virgin but the love scenes I've read.. I can still blush..
Anyways just get the damn good book already and lets gush over it.[23]
[5 stars]
5 Stars.
I don't do angst. I don't mind it in small doses but I generally don't gravitate to it. Unless it is as well written as Hughes has done in this fabulous book. At first I thought I would breeze right through the book it was so good. But I couldn't. I had to read a chapter or two and take a break. Because, you know, I don't do angst. And there are flashbacks. I don't mind it, but I know some readers do not. But wow. This story goes back and forth to college years to present to post college to break up and back again. The timelines are running parallel. But somehow you know within a sentence or two what time period we are in. Only once or twice I had to reread a bit to figure out where we were in the timeline. I was amazed just how well Hughes was able to navigate this mode of storytelling without it being confusing. It was effective in her hands.
The main characters, Alex & Charlee were great and all, but I LOVED Charlee's parents, especially her mother, Gabby. They embraced Alex and her sister Vinny and Charlee's BFF, Cam into their family. Gabby was as much a parent to Alex and Cam as she was to Charlee.
Makes my Top 10 list for 2017.[24]
[4 stars]
This here is an angsty, longing, frustrating, brilliant read. In fact, even reading The Art of Us took me longer than usual because the feelings get TOO REAL. Especially for those who've had significant exes or are dating people who broke off from something deep. It puts an uncomfortable layer of insecurity to the read. Somewhat painful, but effective. Totally what KL Hughes wants from me, I'd reckon. Or, at least it'd make her feel great to cause these feelings.
I'd say for my personal taste, this has a much higher dosage of pining and relationship-based angst than I'd care to partake. I believe Alex and Charlee's love runs deeper and more convincing than sooooo many books of lesfic's past. I appreciate it. I'm glad I read it because KL Hughes is an AMAZING writer. God, it's so well-written and clever. Characterization and theme were certainly on point. She's the author of Popcorn Love, an all-time favorite and I'm honored to read more from her.
For the sheer talent of Hughes, I'll bump this to a steady four stars. Give it a read. It'll affect you, I'm sure.[25]
[4 stars]
** spoiler alert ** "I want to do it right, because loving her is the purest thing I've ever done. It's the purest thing I've ever had."
Soul Mates. The Art of Us takes the concept of soul mates to a whole new level. I don't think I've ever read an angst-filled read quite like this book.
Five years after Alex left for the coast and they drifted apart, Charlee cannot sleep at night but spends all her time painting beautiful memories of her true love and soul mate Alex. Alex returns to Boston with girlfriend Kari in tow and struggles with her own memories.
The opening scenes grab you and force you to fall in love with Charlee and Alex. Of course, there can be no one else. Be gone eight-month relationship Chris. Haul your unsuspecting ass outta here. Kari? We barely knew you but you're smart enough to notice the emotional detachment and distance Alex has for you. Sorry you had to fly all this way. Once Alex locks eyes on Charlee it’s game over for anyone remotely connected to these two and what they still mean to each other.
I found myself overwhelmed to the point of numb by the three-quarter mark of this novel. The crying, the emotions on their sleeves, the crying, so much crying over their love lost. The reluctance on Alex's part to renew what they had for fear of losing it once again, it was all so exhausting. And then K.L. Hughes pulls reality out of this swamp of emotions and memories of a love so pure nothing and no one could compete with it. She laughs at her own drama-llama offering. She uses Cam and Vinny to pull our lovestruck couple back to earth. Cam lets Charlee know that the world is carrying on and no, she is not the centre of the universe and yes, she has been ignoring the other people in her life. Vinny is much blunter with Alex when she tells her that "Dehydration is a bitch." Enough with the crying already. I loved it and it pulled me back into the story.
I love an angst filled romance, I do. The Art of Us might have exceeded even my love for drama but it is written so well that I couldn't look away. I had to know all the details of this couples long overdue HEA.
Wow, what a read.
ARC received from publisher with thanks for an honest review.[26]
Fanworks
Fanart
Fanart by theimpossibilitiesimagined (2016)
Edits
poster art by allislex-a
Moodboard by slytheinrs (2016)
Moodboard by thehaughtcommander (2015)
LiLL-themed reader UI, designed by clonesisterhood (2016)
Gif Sets
- Untitled, Archived version by clarkesgriffns
- "favorite scene", Archived version by allislex-a
Fanmixes
- Fanmix, Archived version by allislex-a
Fannish Links
References
- ^ a b c d Lover In Low Light on AO3 via the Wayback Machine. Captured June 5, 2017.
- ^ THE ART OF US BY KL HUGHES on Ylva Publishing. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Christelle Tabet on Goodreads. April 23, 2017. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Zoe on Goodreads. February 3, 2020. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Anna on Goodreads. December 28, 2019. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by modifiedmemory. 2015. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by parajdi. December 8, 2015. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by mycourtofstarsanddreamers. December 17, 2015. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by sol-faerie. December 31, 2015. Archived version.
- ^ "Fic Review: Lover In Low Light", review by by i-think-therefore-i-fan on Tumblr. January 3, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by commanderofthevoid-blog. February 6, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by mycourtofstarsanddreamers. February 11, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by didyoualmostfaintwritingit. April 20, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ "Hey! For all of you sleeping under a rock for the past 24 hours, @chrmdpoet completed 'Lover in Low Light'. Go. Read. Now.", Tumblr post by phoenix-rises-again. April 21, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by apurplecheshirecat. April 21, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by trans-sapphire. May 2, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by inbetweendaays-blog1. July 14, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by stuckinproblems. August 29, 2016. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by clexuh. Archived version.
- ^ Tumblr post by astrangecupoftea. October 21, 2017. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Diane Wallace on Goodreads. March 3, 2018. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Lex Kent on Goodreads. November 2, 2017. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Farah on Goodreads. September 5, 2018. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Luce on Goodreads. December 2, 2017. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Sprinkles on Goodreads. November 15, 2017. Archived version.
- ^ Review by Agirlcandream on Goodreads. November 8, 2017. Archived version.