I am not immune to grief over the death of a fictional character.

Meta
Title:	I am not immune to grief over the death of a fictional character.
Creator:	Alayne Gelfand
Date(s):	1990
Medium:	print
Fandom:	Beauty and the Beast (TV)
Topic:
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I am not immune to grief over the death of a fictional character. is a 1990 essay by Alayne Gelfand.

It was the editorial to A Secret Place #7 and was written in response to Beauty and the Beast fans' reaction to the death of a favorite character, Catherine Chandler at the end of season two, specifically to the virulent reactions of some fans in regards to Unfinished Symphony, a story which featured Vincent and Diana Bennett in a romantic relationship.

Note: this meta was untitled, and the title used here on Fanlore is the first line of the essay.

Context

• a previous essay by Gelfand: I see no need to allow the decisions of the ever-shortsighted network sheep to effect me, my zine, or how I feel...
• Beauty and the Beast: The Classic vs. Season 3 Fandom Split

Some Topics Discussed

• Unfinished Symphony, a story which featured Vincent and Diana Bennett in a romantic relationship
• Star Trek and the death of the character, Spock
• censorship, free speech, tolerance, control, civility, respect for differing points of view
• grief and the death of fictional characters

From the Essay

I am not immune to grief over the death of a fictional character. As I've stated before in editorials, I was not unaffected by Spock's death in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn -- quite the contrary. It was just before this film came out that I discovered fanzines; I had just begun to read and enjoy them when the theme of Spock's death began to permeate the medium. I didn't care to read stories that had anything to do with the subject of Spock's death.

At the time this happened, I was heavily involved with STAR TREK, focused on it to a remarkable degree. At first, when it seemed this constant in my life had been taken away -- altered unacceptably -- I was devastated. It took a little while for me to realize that what was being written in these fanzines -- in fact, The Wrath of Kahn itself -- was nothing more than an alternate reality and that I did not have to buy into it. At the same time, I also realized that if I wanted to read things that fit my perceptions, I would have to create them myself. It never occurred to me to rip pages out, tear them up and return them to the editor telling that editor that I would never buy a product from her again if she continued to print fiction that did not fit my point of view. It never occurred to me to expect anyone else to conform to my personal point of view, to tell someone to so conform to my personal point of view. It never occurred to me to be hostile to people who simply saw things differently than I did.

What did occur to me was to start my own fanzine... which I did, which is now on its 17th issue, which spawned a series of other STAR TREK zines which I've published/edited over the years, which also led me to publish other fandoms... such as BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.

As noted in the LOC section of this issue, a lot of people wrote and told me they would never buy another issue of ASP again if it continued to print Vincent/Diana stories; most of these letters also stated that the letter should not be printed in any upcoming issue of ASP. The first time I opened an envelope and the four pages of Kate Sheridan's story fell out, I was extremely hurt -- not only for myself, but for Kate (not to mention Kriss Farver whose lovely little Vincent became a casualty by association). I wanted to ask the person who sent those pages to me to, just for a moment, pretend she had written or edited/ typed/slaved over those four pages. Then to imagine how she would feel if someone ripped them out of a zine she had created and sent them back -- sometimes without any comment. By the time I opened the twelfth envelope to find those four pages falling out, I was just rolling my eyes and starting to intensely dislike putting this zine together.

When I began ASP, I swore I would never continuing do it if if ever became more work than pleasure. It's become more work than pleasure.

So... the deadlines previously printed ... no longer apply. I am taking a [year's] vacation from ASP.... To those o[ you who are being supportive, let me thank you from the depth of my soul right now, in public. I want to apologize to you for this little hiccup in ASP's schedule and hope you will bear with me.

Personally, as I've stated before, I like Diana and I liked third season. We got to see more of Vincent, more of what makes him who and what he is. I enjoy stories which explore this subject. But I am very tired of any story dealing with Catherine's death, Vincent's recovery, etc. So, future issues will not contain anything that deals directly with Catherine's death or Vincent's "coming to terms" with it.

This does not mean I will no longer consider Diana stories; I will. And if you are one of those readers who feels she can no longer purchase ASP because of that, let me wish you good luck with your endeavors and thank you for being part of ASP to this point.

I will not be censored. I understand people don't want to read about Diana. But if foregoing 153 pages because a zine contains 4 pages you don't like is your idea of how to deal with what is, after all, only a television show, then that's your prerogative.

I can't help but think that Vincent -- who perhaps loves books, creativity, writing, art more than most of us -- would be the first to be appalled at the mere notion of censorship. I also think he would be the first to say life has to go on -- not that it would be easy, but the alternative is not very appealing.

By no means will ASP become anything close to a "Vincent/Diana" zine; the main focus will continue to be Vincent/Catherine. As I've said, if you simply cannot bring yourself to have anything to do with something that contains the mention of Diana, then some future issues of ASP may no longer be for you.

I just ask one small favor: if you ever decide to purchase an issue of ASP which does contain a Diana story or poem, don't rip it out of your zine and return it to me. There's no need to tell me you're going to tear it out and throw it away, either. A letter stating that you do not wish to read about Diana is more than sufficient, though taking the fact that I will always advertise the presence of any Diana material and this editorial into consideration, any letter expressing displeasure at Diana related material will be far from necessary. It will not matter whether my readers do or don't wish to read about Diana; if I receive a Vincent/Diana story which appeals to me as fitting the flavor of ASP, it will be printed. End of discussion.

I thank you all for wading through this tome! I regret having to say some of the things I did, I regret having to take a hiatus from ASP. But I do appreciate your attention, understanding and continued support.

See you next year!

The Editor's Comments Six Months Later

... I received a plethora of letters commenting on my editorial in ASP #7. All these letters were highly supportive; even a few of the people who caused me to write the editorial wrote to apologize for their behavior; and no one wrote a negative word about the situation or my reaction to it. I am extremely grateful to all of you who did write and to those of you who didn't but sent your support my way via your thoughts. You have all proved something to me: there are far more good people in this world than not. I was beginning to have my doubts!...

I received many more supportive, wonderful letters -- from loyal readers as well as people who don't read "ASP" but are B&B fans. I wish I had roomhere to print them all but, unfortunately, I don't. I would like to thank the following people and everyone else who wrote with their letters of support and encouragement. You have made a huge difference. Marianne Arnold, Sharon Bentley, Kriss Farver, Norma Harwood, Kassandra, J. Ley, Chriss Lucas, Betty Mills, Paulette O'Sullivan, Lyn Roewade, Michelle Ayers, Constantia, Jessie Gurner ,Charlotte Howey, Donna Koich, Renee Long, Nikki McKinney, Cheryl Morrow, Linda Pieper, Linda Watt.

Also, a very special thanks to everyone at the Chesapeake Helper's Society for Beauty And The Beast for including a short note about my problems due to "Unfinished Symphony" in their Jan/Feb '91 newsletter asking those who were interested to write to me. Many, many of them did... and I am grateful for their support.

Fan Comments

I am not a particular Diana/Vincent story fan but, I do like the character of Diana and would never tell you not to print them. How can you judge what ya ain't never read!

I have enjoyed reading "ASP 1-7". I have enclosed SASE for 8 & 9. I don't understand the big deal some people have made about "Diana stories", let alone yours.

As for the Diana story in #5, I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep up the good work!

I was very upset when I read in your editorial that you have become a target of some hostility because of what you chose to publish. My first reaction was that these people haven't been paying attention to the message of the past three years they haven't been listening. It is truly a sin that the editors, authors and artists of our fandom have been subjected to any type of abuse whatsoever... after all, you are the ones who are helping to keep the dream alive and we are very grateful, indeed.

However, Alayne, I absolutely bristled when I read your statement " what is, after all, only a television show". I'm sorry, but anyone who feels that way is missing out on so many levels of this series... you just don't understand. This series has changed so many lives forever (mine included) that to trivialize its importance brings out the she-lion in many of us -- we are very defensive and protective of our Beast. Please be gentle when you place any type of boundaries around our fantasy... it is not only a television show. It is a concept, a beginning, a promise, a blossoming, a sanctuary of classical values, a safe place... it is hope and lover personified. And those of us who have watched with our hearts will never be the same.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I do understand, Linda. My point in saying "it's only a television show" was not to put anyone down, only to offer some perspective. I am thrilled than many, many people have found light and hope and love through this show. I am not belittling the results of the show. I was only pointing out that it is a television show and, no matter how much it has effected people, it is not something to attack one another over. Quite the contrary.

I was appalled to read of the reactions you'd been getting to your Diana story in the last issue. It amazes me that people who watch and profess to love this show could learn so little from it. I know that B&B is only a TV show, but I think that tolerance and open-mindedness are lessons that everyone could take to heart.- And to all those who sent you nasty letters, I can only say: Grow up!

You give fair warning, and if people don't want to read third-season stories, they can just skip over them. I applaud your determination not to be censored, and can only hope that the immaturity and spitefulness of some of your readers will not deter you from publishing the best B&B fanzine out there!

...Thanks so much for publishing this zine, as well as my past stories, and let me urge you to continue! I think you'll find that there are also a lot of people out there who are not so narrow-minded and enjoy all the stories you've published so far. Take heart!

... I'm glad you've taken temporary hiatus rather than permanently dropping "ASP": you would be very sorely missed by many, you can bank on that. I applaud you for not giving in to pressure and swearing never to print another Diana story: it's not like those who don't care for the situation are being compelled to read it, for pity's sake! I mean, if only one narrow scenario is acceptable, why bother to read new material at all? I was not doing handsprings over all aspects of third season myself, but I loved Diana and enjoy seeing other fans' ideas about how that relationship might have progressed. As you said, it's a matter of alternate realities. The great thing about fiction is that it can be altered [un]limitless times and in countless ways. No person will find all of the possibilities appealing, but it's like a buffet line -- take what you like and let the next guy do the same. It's sort of stupid to boycott any buffet that items that are not favorites -- and even more so to stand at the head of the line screaming that you are going to hold your breath and turn blue if all offending entrees are not removed. Around here, we call that "showing your butt."

For the last year I have read with interest the discussions, opinions, and feelings of fellow fans of the "third season." The split in fandom just before, during, and right after the third season saddened me. As time passed it appeared that the split had healed. Whether you liked the third season or hated it you were still considered a fellow fan. About six months ago I red something that made me realize that, unfortunately, there still appears to be intolerance within the fandom. Some fans were still lashing out against anything that had to do with the third season.

One of the fanzines I order on a regular basis is A Secret Place. When the flier for Volume 6 arrived it was very clearly stated that there was a three page Vincent/ Diana story. Since the zine is usually 150+ pages this story would be a very small part of the zine mainly about Vincent/Catherine. About six months ago I received my order of Volume 7. While reading the editors page I found out that about a dozen fans of Beauty and the Beast and A Secret Place had ripped the three page Vincent/ Diana story out of their copy of Volume 6, ripped the pages in to pieces and sent them to the editor. This act on their part both angered and saddened me.

Understand, I am not saying they don't have the right to dislike the third season because they do. Nor am I saying they don't have the right to tear the story out of their copy of the zine because they do. What I am saying is they DID NOT have the right to send it in pieces to the editor. If the flier had not warned of the inclusion of a Vincent/Diana story I might have agreed with their actions. But it did include the warning of a third season story. This gave these dozen or so fans the right to protest by not buying the zine.

To me, one of the essential elements of Beauty and the Beast was that it reminded me to be tolerant of those who might look or think differently than I do. These dozen or so fans showedagreat deal of INTOLERANCE. Perhaps if they asked themselves how they would feel if someone did what they did they might realize how both intolerant and immature their behavior was.

I am not against expressing your opinion. Everyone has the right to. I'm against expressing your opinion in a way that hurts or is insulting. I was, also, not a lover of the third season. However, while i have the right to express this opinion, I do not have the moral right to express it in a way that is hurtful to another fan of the show.

Please, l appeal to all of you, show more tolerance of those FELLOW FANS who may not agree with you on the "third season" but are still just as much a fan as you are. Let us all remember all the elements that drew us to this show. Among these elements were love, tolerance, romance, acceptance, following your heart, and trying to live your dreams. Isn't it time to put our hurt, anger, and bitterness aside and band together in understanding and tolerance. For what ever reason we all love this show.