Hour of Lead

Fanfiction
Title:	Hour of Lead
Author(s):	Teri White
Date(s):	1978
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Hour of Lead is a Kirk/Spock story by Teri White.

It was published in the print zine Thrust where it has art by Merle Decker and by Pat Stall.

Series

• Hour of Lead in Thrust
• An Anguish to Pay in Naked Times #1
• Hour of Gold in Nome #2

Summary

"Six months after the Koonakalifee, Spock realizes that he and Kirk are being drawn to one another, and bonding, tries to prepare Kirk for what must now come."

From "Thrust's" Editorial

"For obvious reasons, the pon farr theme proliferates in Kirk/Spock fiction as a barrier-breaking crisis to initiate the sexual or bonding relationship. HOUR OF LEAD by Teri White treats this theme, and the uncertainties and hesitations involved, in a sensitive way (her sequel story will be published at a later date, in another fanzine)."

Gallery

• 

  interior page, art by Merle Decker

• 

  interior page, art by Pat Stall

• 

  interior page, art by Pat Stall

Reactions and Reviews

1978

"Hour of Lead" is very good, very honest, recognizing fear and doubt as well as love.

...mere delicious excuses for erotic descriptions...

1993

One of the nice parts of that story line was, just when Spock is feeling most guilty about the bruised, bleeding man beneath him, Bones comes in, sees Kirk, and makes Spock feel even worse. Loved that.

I'm a sap when it comes to wanting to see an established relationship at work. Maybe it's because I (and my marriage) are getting older, but I'm discovering a growing desire to see more stories (at least in K/S) of the relationship as it exists in their older years. There's a story, I think it's called "Hour of Lead" or some such, where Kirk is an old man. Like a fool, it brought a tear to my eye when Spock returns to him after being

away on a trip. They don't necessarily have to go that far into the future, but I am finding that I prefer post-season stories, more in the time frame of the films.

As I get older, I too enjoy reading about older relationships. It is nice to feel comfortable reading about a comfortable pair still in love, still getting it on, still finding new things to love amid the old comforts. Hour of Lead was mentioned. Read also Hour of Gold, the third part of the trilogy by Teri White. Lovely K/S. -- Even old broads love to read this stuff.

2006

I decided to [a story] from this very early zine, because I enjoyed [it] very much and I wanted to examine how we can enjoy fiction from the early days as much as bright new stories! First you have to think yourself back to the 1970s, OK so I was only 3 when this story was written and as such I can’t actually recall very much about the sexual mores of the time, but I’ve got friends who remember it well. You also have to remember that this was only about 2 years into the now 30 year history of K/S fiction. These two things both combine to give a story a sense of freshness. When Teri was writing this it was NOT with a background of a few thousand stories many of which accepted Kirk and Spock’s relationship as essentially straight forward. Today, because of our own mores which suggest that sexual attraction is natural and good and equally as OK between two men as between men and women, we accept that Kirk and Spock can fall in love and accept and embrace the feeling. In the 1970’s for many people love between two men was still perceived as a major problem, and writers needed to really explain how Kirk and Spock would come to accept their love. It was not as simple as feeling attraction and acting on it. Now TOS was a product of the 60’s/70’s (whenever it was set) and the mores it reflects are now as ‘old fashioned’ as they are futuristic. In many way approaching K/S from a 1970’s view point is eminently realistic because it fits right into the mindset of TOS.

In Teri’s ‘Hour of Lead’ Spock is still in Pon Farr he is drawn irresistibly to Kirk. He finds himself in Kirk’s quarters at night getting closer and closer to waking the sleeping human and confessing his needs. So what’s stopping him? He’s not living in 2006! In most K/S stories today Spock would identify his problem think it out logically, approach Kirk rationally and be delighted by Kirk’s eager acceptance of his needs. But Spock’s world is that of 1978... If this Spock finds passion ‘shameful and hateful’ let us remind ourselves that this is implied in Amok Time when he can barely bring himself to speak of ‘biology’. If this Spock has always ‘denied’ his feelings for Kirk, let us remember that in The Naked Time we discover this is a man who has never told his mother he loves him and who finds he is ‘ashamed’ even of friendship. If this Spock longs to ‘weep’ at the poignancy of holding Kirk’s black T-shirt when he is to afraid to approach the man himself, let us recall again The Naked Time, what is the first thing Spock does when control is released? Yup, he cries. If this Spock seems nervous and he is “for one terrifying moment” sure that McCoy “could read the hot, confused thoughts that filled him night and day.” Let’s remember that in Bread and Circuses McCoy himself suggests that Spock is afraid to live simply because he might let his emotions show. If this Spock seems to have a hard time understanding the humans around him, recall that Spock himself tells Kirk early on in TOS that if he seems not to understand what Kirk is going through Kirk must accept: ‘it is the way I am’. If this Spock thinks Kirk is ‘untouchable’ can we blame him? What indication has Kirk ever given him of a SEXUAL interest? Yeah, sure we can see Kirk flirting with Spock clear as the day, but this Spock is not sure Kirk’s attentions are anything more than friendship, and who are we to blame Spock for not seeing the ‘slashiness’ when thousands and thousands of sensible 20th century viewers don’t either. Perhaps even we didn’t see more than friendship until someone drew our attention to it.

This may not be the self confident Spock of today’s outgoing society, but this Spock IS familiar. He is restrained – as much as he wants Kirk he stands to leave “in one fluid motion that permitted no alternative”. He is curious, “curiously he tasted the Human perspiration”. He is able to function perfectly adequately despite his inner confusion. His conversation betrays no sense of his turmoil “is there some way I can help you Jim?”. In his own way this Spock is as strong as any. I love the mis-match between the inner and outer Spock, its what drew me to the character in the first place and its emotional impact in the story is excellent. I am immediately drawn into Spock’s suffering as his inner self longs for Kirk, longs for reassurance and love and belonging, whilst his outer self betrays none of it seeming aloof and self contained as if he needs no one.

I just love the sense of defeat in Spock as ‘helplessly, wearily, he carefully rested his cheek against his Captain’s stomach’. That ‘carefully’ tells us so much about Spock don’t you think? ‘Then amazingly Kirk raised one shaking hand to touch Spock’s head’, if you think that ‘amazingly’ is naïve, just remember that this Kirk and Spock don’t have a thousand K/S stories to tell them its OK to fall in love. This Kirk and Spock must find their own path’s without the map left by centuries of happy egalitarian homosexual relationships. And let’s be honest where are all these happy same sex couples in TOS to let Kirk and Spock know their love is acceptable? Perhaps it’s not the sexually open and accepting society we sophisticated 21st century viewers would like it to be! For this Kirk his feelings for Spock really are ‘new’ and I am able to share a sense of wonder that is sometimes lacking in today’s more self assured, savvy, dare I say it, modern characterisations.

I love how Kirk seems to accept (unwillingly) Spock’s apparent decision to die. He tells Spock he loves him, but he’s still willing to accept Spock’s choice if he must. Isn’t this exactly why we admire Kirk? He loves Spock, for being Spock, different, with his different mores and different logic. This Kirk does not force Spock to accept his (our) belief that love should outweigh all other concerns. He just tells Spock his love is desired and leaves Spock to make his own decision. Is this not a stronger, more selfless, man than the hero who goes charging after Spock and forces him to see it in Kirk’s human terms? And Spock makes the ‘right’ decision, as perhaps Kirk knew he would given time and space and comes to him.

And then the sex. This Kirk and Spock have not read the instruction manual, they must find their own way. And it’s a magical journey of discovery. Kirk is concerned not to do anything un-vulcan (typically he puts Spock first), Spock is unsure what’s he’d like anyway, but heaven’s he knows he likes Jim! This Spock is not stupid, he understands the physical desire, it’s the emotional content that baffles him. He would know how to take his pleasure, but he wants to give as well as take (typically selfless). This is a man who has learnt about sex by the book and what Vulcan book is going to tell him how to have sex emotionally? Kirk and Spock forge their own path and learn to satisfy one another, no preconceived notions, no mechanical seduction, no array of fancy sexual techniques. But they do just as well without!

I love it! So please readers, don’t dismiss those early stories as naïve or implausible. Remember Kirk and Spock belong in the 1970’s as much as the 23rd century, from that perspective these stories are often eminently logical!

2007

Pon farr inspired many stories in the early days, serving as an obvious emotional shortcut to getting the guys together, and there are several of these in Thrust. As already mentioned, parts two and three of Gayle F.’s series that deal with the repercussions of Spock’s pon farr on Setarcos are published here. Carol S.’s “On the Beach” and Teri W.’s “Hour of Lead” deal with this theme. Teri wrote a sequel to this story, “An Anguish to Pay,” that was published later that year in the first issue of Naked Times. The concluding story “Hour of Gold” was published in Nome 2 (1980).