An Anguish to Pay

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K/S Fanfiction
Title: An Anguish to Pay
Author(s): Teri White
Date(s): 1978
Genre: slash
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series
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An Anguish to Pay is a Kirk/Spock story by Teri White.

It was published in Naked Times #1.

Part of a Series


"This is one possibility of how Kirk and Spock might deal with the pon farr… and how it will ultimately affect their continued relationship."

From the flyer: "AN ANGUISH TO PAY is Teri's long awaiting sequel to HOUR OF LEAD which appeared in THRUST. This is perhaps one of the most realistic pon farr stories you will ever read. It represents a very real view of both Kirk and Spock's experiences during pon farr, and gives the reader a very unique view of the biological imperative."

Sample Print Pages

Reactions and Reviews


Teri's AN ANGUISH TO PAY was everything I had hoped for. I just pray it won't take as long for HOUR OF GOLD to be published. (ED. NOTE: HOUR OF GOLD will be pubbed in NOME 2... I don't think my patience could stand another work-out like that.) [1]
AN ANGUISH TO PAY has a different kind of power. I hope that in HOUR OF GOLD McCoy learns to understand and accept Kirk and Spock's love.[2]

AN ANGUISH TO PAY—It was bound to come sooner or later. I hate to say it, but this story does argue strongly against a pon farr bonding relationship between Kirk and Spock. Do you really think Spock's going to chance damaging Kirk again? It was internal bleeding this time; next time it could be peritonitis, Who knows?

I wouldn't be surprised if Spock teaches Kirk the controls for surviving the severance of the bond—and then engineers a fatal "accident" for himself when he feels the first stirrings of pon farr again. I'm surprised at his naivete, though. In thinking that Kirk would ever consent to let him suicide that way. Once again, you got a good artist in Merle Decker. Especially the illo on pg. 65.[3]


Very h/c. Pon farr and Kirk and Spock. Madness and pain and acceptance and love. Stark picture. I can't seem to stop nitpicking though. Kirk knew what he was going to have to do. Why didn't he prepare himself for anal intercourse, use a muscle relaxant, an analgesic, etc? Anything to help reduce the strain/pain of continuous intercourse and much more importantly, help reduce Spock's guilt factor by a measure of ten when he sees that Kirk isn't hurt badly as opposed to what is being portrayed.[4]


  1. from an LoC in Naked Times #2
  2. from an LoC in Naked Times #2
  3. from an LoC in Naked Times #2
  4. from The K/S Press #56