Feminizing Vs Effeminate

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Title: Feminizing Vs Effeminate
Creator: Clio
Date(s): 2001?
Medium: online
Fandom: multi
Topic:
External Links: online here, Archived version
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Feminizing Vs Effeminate is an essay by Clio at Slash Sluts.

Part of a Series

Excerpts

I've written about the topic of feminizing men several times in my Bitch Fest. It's one of the most annoying trends I tend to find in slash fanfiction. No, I'm not obsessed with it. I just see it cropping up so much and in so many different ways I tend to feel the need to point it out. With this article here, I'm trying to clarify what I mean by feminizing. I'm trying to point out that there is a difference between an effeminate male and feminizing a male character.
Take a character like Blair from The Sentinel for example, writers feminize him an appalling amount. I mean they have the guy bursting into tears at the drop of a damn hat. He cries over every damn thing they can come up with. It gets to the point where you just go 'Jeez, I'm a chick and I don't break out into water works that much.' Have these writers actually seen the show. I'll admit Blair is a new age hippie, somewhat in touch with his feelings, kind of guy. He doesn't cry on a dime though. On the show I have seen him shot, drowned, lose his whole credibility and standing in the academic community, be under appreciated and treated generally shit by Jim on a regular basis and not cry. He may be a hippie, but that doesn't mean he's a big baby who cries constantly. If I were Jim, I'd freak out at the level of crying he does in some stories. Seriously, I'd think of having Blair checked out for depression if I were Jim. On the show he is a brave little fucker, who takes alot of shit and doesn't spend alot of time complaining, whining, or crying (for god sakes) about it. He is also quite the ladies man, he's quite macho in that respect. So could we stop writing him so damn feminine.
It is easy to feminize the characters, because most slashers out there are in fact chicks. We sort of lose ourselves in them and forget that guys don't react the way that we do, don't act like we do. We get lost in the sex and the romance and the characterizations totally slip away from us. Now I understand, I like being a chick. I am not very big, only 5 feet. I love men. Like them tall, thin, yet muscular, with dark hair, and green or hazel eyes (getting why I like David Duchovny and Nick Lea, yet, so totally my type). I love looking up and seeing this big powerful man looking down at little old me. Love it. The strength and power in men. Multiply that times two, damn that nearly sends me into overload. I like looking at a guy and knowing he could either fuck you or kill you, he holds all the power of the world in him. Nearly takes my breath away. That is the same thing guys see in each other, if they are so inclined that way.

I like my men masculine. The characters I like to read slashed, on the shows are tough, strong, intelligent,and just a little wild. I want to see them just as they are on screen in stories. I don't want them remade in our own feminine images. I want them exactly like they are on the show. I want to see what is there and I want the writers to delve in and find all those mysteries that lie within them. I want to see those hidden aspects brought forth. Not for a minute do I think they are hiding this weepy chick inside them waiting to get out. Sometimes a writer can make them so feminine you think you ought to offer them a sex change operation. Seems fitting. So can we stop with turning them in to chicks. Try and catch ourselves before we go that far. Hmmm? Hmmm? Please, just for me? Yes, I've resorted to begging.

It is like we seem to get stuck in gender stereotypes. Stuck in the idea that there has to be a male and a female in the relationship, a passive one and an aggressive one. We can't seem to wrap our heads around the idea that there doesn't have to be one or the other. They can both be masculine, they can both be aggressive. They can both be dominate, they just have to figure out who gets to do what at different times. There are no set roles in gay relationships. No standard way either person has to act, whether they are both male or both female. They can make it up as they go along and figure out how they want their relationship to work over time. No one has to be anything. That to me is beautiful in gay and lesbian relationships, the equality. I love to see that expressed in stories. I love to see a story where both guys are equals, just as strong, intelligent, and masculine. What I think is sexy about two guys together, is the equality, there is nothing one of them does to the other, that they can't turn around and do right back to them. They can both fuck each other. I like that, I like the characters equal in all ways.