Down Under Express

Zine
Title:	Down Under Express
Publisher:	Batho and Kerr Ink previously Clarke & Keating Ink
Editor(s):	Joanne Kerr and Susan Clarke
Date(s):	1992-1996
Series?:
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	The Professionals
Language:	English
External Links:	online review
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Down Under Express is a slash Professionals anthology that was published in Australia by Joanne Kerr and Susan Clarke.

There is one Special Edition of this series, and it is called Largesse.

The dedication at the end of the first issue:

This is for a friend (she knows who she is) who said "Why don’t you start it IN the bedroom and keep it there if you have to?"

From a Submission Request

From the first issue:

One... restriction does apply to cover art - there must be no naked bodies, and no suggestive or compromising positions. Do we sound prudish? Not really, but we'd rather not have to try to explain slash to family members, co-workers, bosses, or postal staff, or defend our apparent involvement in soft-porn to those same people. We like slash, or we wouldn't be here, but we don't need any more grey hairs.

[...]

We'll take stories, poetry, scenarios, articles, debates, anything that's entertaining to read. We're interested in A/U, humour, 'first times', death stories, stories about other CI5 people -not just B. & D. (it can get boring). If you're in doubt, send it. Subjects we frown upon are rape, incest, S. & M., torture, etc, for their own sake; also scenes with positions that are physically impossible even for our heroes -unless of course it's with a humorous bent. Also something else we'd like to keep to a minimum are elves, pointed ears and magic, children, small furry animals (except hedgehogs). They've all been done to death in the last few years, so please avoid them unless absolutely necessary.

Issue 1

cover of issue #1

Down Under Express 1 was published in April 1992 and contains 106 pages.

It contains no interior art.

From the editorial:

This first issue of DOWN UNDER EXPRESS is a good example of a very-few-frills fanzine. The most obvious exclusion, at first glance, is the artwork. We would love to have had lots of beautiful drawings, but the short space of time in which we had to produce it, from the cry of 'Let's do it!', to having it ready to sell at Media*West*Con, negated us from arranging anything in that direction. We hope to remedy this In a big way with the next issue. If you can help us. please send us your artwork (photocopies only, so if the postal service loses them ...). or examples of your artwork and a request for us to send you a story or two to illustrate. At this stage we do not have the facilities to screen artwork, so please stick to drawings with little or no grey shaded areas. Also, occasionally our printing press objects to large areas of unrelieved black, so again, please keep these to a minimum. As for content ... none of the editors are hardened decadents -take pity on us please and keep the drawings tasteful and not too explicit. For that matter the bodies don't even have to be full frontals or even naked (I know, shock, horror, someone with clothes on in a slash zine!). Our main objective is to just have lots of nice illustrations. If anyone wants to have ago at doing a cover please let us know ASAP. One further restriction does apply to cover art.

Thank you to all the writers who responded so quickly to our requests for stories and poetry for this first issue. They had about four weeks to write their pieces and get them to us, which even to us was brazenly unreasonable -even more so for overseas writers! News of our finally succumbing to producing slash was met with some rather amusing responses, a couple of the best being. Wally's: "When I got your letter my mind went blank. I hope this (30-page) story will do(!).' and Stew's: 'It's about bloody time...' Thanks guys. All of you.

• Editorial (2)
• History Repeated by Stew ("Eventually Doyle said, "I had a friend once - Kevin, his name was. In school, we were fourteen. For me, it was experimenting. I was too scared of girls to make the move on them; like they were a different species, so when he suggested it.... But in the end he turned out to be gay. I think I disappointed him." Doyle shook his head. "After all this time, he's still on my mind." Bodie let out a short laugh. "Funny, isn't it? History repeating itself - me falling for my partners - you disappointing your gay friends."") (3)
• From Deep Blue Eyes, poem by Wally (10)
• New Year, New Discoveries, New Associations by Elene Rigby (11)
• Ta Deum for Tommy, sonnet by Linda Terrell (18)
• He Loves Cadbury's Dairy Milk by Trish Darbyfield ("'He moved his arms experimentally, then cracked his eyes open and looked up at them cautiously. They were tied to the bedhead with two of his good silk ties. He looked down the bed. So were his feet. Bodie took a deep breath and yelled, "Ray!!" Doyle appeared in the doorway. He was wearing - Bodie blinked, re-focussed his eyes, and blinked again. Yes, he was wearing his leather jacket, tight matching leather pants, his silver chain, and— not much else. "You rang?" he said.") (19)
• Bodie Down to the Skin, sonnet by Linda Terrell (20)
• Doyle's Song, sonnet by Linda Terrell (20)
• Cowley Not So Reposed, sonnet by Linda Terrell (20)
• Cold Hot Water Bottles by Peighi (49)
• Let Sleeping Dogs Lie by Wally (50)
• No Dominion by Anonymous (77)
• Murphy's Law, sonnet by Linda Terrell (78)
• Merely Players by D'Arcy ("The whispers were followed by two almost simultaneous groans and some heavy breathing. Startled, Peters looked at Lewis and raised his eyebrows. "Just as well they warned us," Lewis said in reply. "I can understand they wouldn't want a tape like that floating around loose, even if it was made on Cowley's orders. People could easily get the wrong impression." 'Or the right one," snickered Peters. "There'll be mileage out of this later, if only to get back at Bodie for always winning at darts."'")
• When Needs Must by Maree Celeste ("Doyle was in the shower, trying not to let his anger of yesterday fire him again. He ached comfortably in places where a man was meant to ache after such a night, and although that brought a smile to his face, it was more grim than pleased. He rubbed the soap into every part of his body, trying to wash something away. Yesterday. The flush of anger rose on Doyle's face. "Bugger Cowley," He retorted.'") (79)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

I really enjoyed DUE, a wonderful first issue. It looks as if this zine is going to be of the same quality of your other publications. All the stories were good -- it would be unfair to put any of them above the others. The characterisations were well done too.

There are now three or for Profs slash publishers in Australia, and I think this is a good thing, as competition for the fans' dollars will improve the quality of the stories. And as a writer I like to have lots of outlets for my work... especially ones that go overseas.

'Bout time you did a naughty nookie PROS zine. This way, BACKTRACK can remain 'straight'. There are fans out there who don't particularly like slash but want to read PROS fan fiction. Now they've more choices.

Remarkable zine considering the time constraints put on the writers: "Hey, we're finally doing a nookie PROS zine, can you write a story and get it to Australia in a month?' Awk!

I didn't know until that moment that I could write sonnets. Oh, by the way, TA DEUM FOR TOMMY is NOT a sonnet.

Pretty even-handed selection in D.U.E. No one story really stands out - which is to say the quality is consistant. Although I found some stories derivative, the quality of the writing was more solid than some Yank tales. Less deathless prose and tortured metaphors. Cleaner, more realistic type writing.

Well, I did have a spot of trouble with HE LOVES CADBURY'S DAIRY MILK (and I love Cadbury eggs...). I never could get into silly S&M by chocolate. I prefer Kahlua and clothespins myself...

However, I must voice a complaint here, especially in view of our recent 'troubles' in Los Angeles: I was very disappointed in the stereotypically and off-handed way Jax was used as a thug to help set up Doyle as Qaridge's rescuer in WHEN NEEDS MUST. I consider it a disservice to Jax for one, and an unfortunate use of a Black man to instill fear into a white man. TV, movies, and fiction are just too full of 'ethnic' stereotypes like this. Besides, what ever happened to WHITE thugs? When I was growing up (once upon a time, before the Great Flood, when I went to school with Noah), the local Hhood was a leather-clad greaser with slicked back hair, dark glasses, a Harley and a switchblade—and he was WHITE. And gangs were Italian or Irish (and they massacred each other weekly). Suddenly the white world is being threatened by nothing but Blacks? Sorry, no. White crime is every bit as high; the Drug Trade is 85% White.

Okay, off my Politically Correct soapbox. I just would like to have seen a more positive use of Jax. Besides, I want equal time for White Thugs!

Being a new-comer to fandom, I am overwhelmed by the sheer size of written productions. I have taken to slash like a duck to water. I liked DOWN UNDER EXPRESS; although after a while I began to be ever so faintly bored by swollen glands and thrusting male buttocks, I deeply appreciated the sexual expression of love as the means whereby the relationship between the two men becomes a priority one, transcending all others- I also loved the expressions of mutual protectiveness, tenderness, and teasing.

I enjoyed [it] immensely. There were so many good stories and even some good poetry! In DUE# 1 the runaway winner would have to have been When Needs Must! That really was excellent!

The New Year theme was nicely put into a slash story (NEW YEAR, NEW...). Cowley's look must have been something else ... By the way, what is. 'callipygian'??? I know calligraphy and pygmies, but that has probably nothing to do with it and the dictionary wasn't much help either

WHEN NEEDS MUST - a nice long story with some action (besides what's going on in bed) and thoughts on the consequences of their relationship on their work.

LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE - ... hmm. I'm not sure my concept of Bodie would have him go into such a flashback at the remark of Doyle about the payback ... I would advise counselling. And the way he slips away into fever like the heroine in a gothic novel ... not quite 'my' Bodie.

NO DOMINION - Sad but good. More like Bodie. If people died of broken hearts, the world wouldn't have problems with over-population. It's a sad life but Bodie did well with the challenge - and in the end there even was a Happy End.

MERELY PLAYERS - Fun to read.

I'm not good with sonnets (can't get the hang of Shakespeare's either).

COLD HOT WATER BOTTLES - I know why I use those things as little as possible...

Issue 2

The cover of issue #2, note the hatstand.

1993 flyer for issue #1 and #2

Down Under Express 2 was published in October 1992 and contains 116 pages.

The illos are by Anja Gruber, IanK, and Karen Eaton.

From the editorial]: This second issue of DOWN UNDER EXPRESS has a few more frills than the first one. Notably we now have some artwork, courtesy of two lovely ladies. Anja probably thought she had acquired back some of her spare time when BACKTRACK went from six-monthly to twelve-monthly this year. She responded promptly to my tentative request for artwork, and several of her pieces grace this issue. Thank you very much for helping us with our ever-expanding collection of fanzines. The other artist is Karen Eaton, a cartoonist of long standing, especially in Proffs fandom. I made the mistake of opening her package at work when It arrived. You think I would know better by now. I couldn't help but sit there rolling with silent laughter, trying not to look conspicuous. I couldn't even share them with anybody who wanted to join in the joke.

We would like more artists to give us a try as well. I still maintain a zine can never have enough of good artwork. Please humour me ... and you'll get a contributor's copy of the zine that your drawings appear in.

The stories In this issue are as varied as could be wished for by any reader. I think the only things not covered are those subjects requested not to be done in the first issue. I think the closest we came was a bunch of feathers, and since they were used for a suitably kinky purpose they were perfectly acceptable!

Wally has written an alternate universe Robin of Sherwood, and D'Arcy has written a very long and satisfying amnesia story. Mima and Katy are both fairly new writers and both have offered good easy-to-read stories.. Mima's is a brooding 'first time' story, and Katy's is one about deathless love - rather impatient and aggravated on Bodie's side but deathless all the same! Elene and Trish have both supplied short rather wicked pieces this time. Both have memorable lines but my favourite was 'Unfortunately, he laughed so hard ... he... fell with a thud to the floor, fortunately landing flat on his back.' I wince In sympathy at the damages Involved If he hadn't landed sunny-side-up.

Maree Celeste continues on her weird way in her latest slory. For years she has been writing not your average stories In Star Trek, B7, and especially Simon & Simon. Now she is writing weird in Proffs ... this time with an added gory touch. Thanks, for the truly wonderful mental images the shower scene invoked!

• Editorial (1)
• Next of Kin by Mirna Cicioni (3)
• Silent Night by Katy Deery (9)
• Radial Tuned Suspension by Elene Rigby (25)
• Put to the Torture by Trish Darbyfeld (29)
• Night Dreaming by Maree Celeste (31)
• Hern's Other Son by Wally (49)
• Never Forget Me by D'Arcy (59)
• Letter Column (153)
• ads (154)

• 

  from issue #2, Anja Gruber

• 

  from issue #2, Karen Eaton

• 

  from issue #2, Anja Gruber

• 

  from issue #2, Anja Gruber

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

[art on page 7]:

Anja Gruber, I really like your artwork in DUE#2. Especially the portrait of Bodie on page 7.

[Herne's Other Son]: There is a Philip Mark story in Down Under Express 2 by Wally. It has the distinction of making Mark a good guy. Seems he fell in love with the younger son of an earl, Raimond D'Oyle (surprise!) and Rai is called by Herne to study with him and learn to be a healer. Later Mark is called to join him and the whole episode is a ruse so that Mark can be 'killed' and go off safely in anonymity to be with Rai. I read it before I saw the episode (and boy, was I confused) and when I finally saw it I decided that the story really stretches readability in a few places in dealing with events in the episode, but it was kind of fun anyway.

[zine]:

I'm looking forward to the next issue of DUE because I really enjoyed reading the first two. My favourites were New Year, New Discoveries...., History Repeated, When Needs Must and Next Of Kin. Silent Night was just a little to sad for my liking, but that depends very much on how I feel, when I'm reading a sad story. Maybe it had something to do with a movie I saw two or three months ago, featuring Mel Gibson. A friend of mine, who watched the film with me, was very glad about the happy end'. I just can't understand how someone could find such a conclusion happy. Of course they were together in the end, but what a waste of live! To age forty or fifty years in one week without the chance to really live them is something I find rather sad.

If I'm lucky, I'll have time tomorrow to start reading #3 and find out, why some of you liked Change of Mind so much.

[zine]: DUE#2 was a good and varied read. Some stories I enjoyed more than others, but none I really thought badly written. While the scenario of SILENT NIGHT was was a bit stretched it was the one I liked most. I think that, under under the given circumstances, that is exactly what Bodie would do. And Doyle.

My thanks to the artists. Your work adds just that extra touch to the zine, finishing off a quality pro­ duction. Being a Bodie fan I particularly liked the illo on page 46. Karen's cartoons were a laugh. I have only one objection to them. How do you tell/explain to others what you're laughing at?

Well done, editors, and everybody.

[zine]: Received and finished DUE#2. One thing that comes to mind is that the stories are not as explicit as some others I've seen. Which is nice. It's more difficult to show the love and understanding between lovers when you have to use other places than the bed to make a story. The stories included here are certainly diverse.

NEXT OF KIN - Nice. Gives depth to Bodie's character.

SILENT NIGHT - Certainly different. Within the context of the story it makes sense, though I'm not sure the choices taken are consistent with my understanding of the characters. A sad story, better not read on a grey November day.

RADIAL TUNED SUSPENSION - Well chosen to follow the heavy piece. Fun. You're right, Bodie could have done himself serious damage falling on his ... nose.

PUT TO THE TORTURE - More fun. Shows you have to be careful even with feathers.

NIGHT DREAMING - The right story for Hallowe'en. Yes, I can believe Doyle would be a beautiful wolf (so would Bodie, probably a black one, if he ever gets bitten).

HERN'S OTHER SON - Quite a change of pace. But nice. I have to admit I didn't watch Robin Hood - only saw a few episodes - the ones with Lewis Collins, that is. Never got used to the Hem concept. NEVER FORGET ME - Very good story. Good developing of the characters, leading to the re­lationship. Shows to what length Bodie will go when he had set his mind on something - he'll even be very patient. Even learned something - never heard of retrograde amnesia before. When I find the time to visit the library again I'll see what they have on it. I'm fascinated by the mind and its workings.

[zine]: Hilarious cartoons - but is there a logical reason for Bodie's long hair and androgynous looks? Lovely intense picture on p. 16. Giggled for ages after reading RADIAL TUNED SUSPENSION and PUT TO THE TORTURE. Thought SILENT NIGHT was the best thing in the zine: well-written, tender, moving, good characterisation of Bodie, Doyle, and Cowley, a wonderful letter by Ray, and a subdued, but not altogether hopeless, ending.

[zine]: Got DUE2, which I must say was absolutely brilliant. I settled down for a really good read. It was also good to see the excellent artwork this time around too. I think my favourite piece was the stunning illo of Doyle on page 26! What I wouldn't give to be able to draw like that! There was one story that actually made me buy this zine and boy, was it ever a beaut - NIGHT DREAMING actually sent a shudder down my spine! I enjoyed it that much. You know, I'm really starting to get into this slash stuff. And you have some really good writers! The other stories were all good too and the cartoon were a scream!

[zine]: Anla Gruber's art work is very good. So are Karen Eaton's cartoons. I was very impressed by NIGHT DREAMING and NEVER FORGET ME. HERN'S OTHER SON was also very enjoyable.

[zine]: NEXT OF KIN - Very nice indeed, Mima. Though I have seen THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN only once, the relationship between the men has always fascinated me. I love Bodie's line at the end.

Pages 2.8, 2.30, & 2.58 - I absolutely adore Karen Eaton's cartoons. I have several favourites, but I think the cutest to date is page 2.58! Brilliant! Reading their conversation, then reading the news bulletin on the radio ... being from a state known for earthquakes makes Bodie's statement all the funnier.

SILENT NIGHT - Ah! My favourite story in the entire zine. Bravo, Katy. I love stories that inspire and this one did ... big time! Being an incurably romantic person, I was deeply touched by Bodie's decision to join Doyle and, of course, his reasoning (which was not too difficult to figure out - smile). It gave me hope that, if I should find someone that I loved, and became faced with that kind of situation, I might make such a decision. I also loved the way you handled George Cowley. You showed how much he truly cared for these two 'tearaways' ... and how much they could still surprise him (especially Bodie).

Again, well done. If you would like to write to me directly the editors have my expressed permission to give you my address.

RADIAL TUNED SUSPENSION and PUT TO THE TORTURE - Cute!

NIGHT DREAMING - My second favourite story in the zine. Very imaginative. I kept thinking that it was Bodie who was the werewolf. I do enjoy stories that can get you completely off track. Well done, Maree.

HERNE'S OTHER SON - I find the extensions of Lewis Collins' role, Phillip Mark, from his episode of Robin Of Sherwood, very interesting; and there have been a few. This one was no exception. I love the Raimond D'Oyle.

NEVER FORGET ME - I enjoy hurt/comfort, but gads! You really know how to put the lads through hell, don't you, D'arcy? I thought the idea of them getting away for a while was a very nice touch; so was Bodie's diary. The fact that Doyle found it and read it ... well now, wouldn't you say Bodie did that on purpose? I mean, we are talking about someone with an ex-mercenary, ex-SAS background. Someone very adept in concealing objects as well as himself. If he had wanted it to remain unread, it would have done so. Will they ever go back to that little hotel?

OVERALL COMMENTS - Very nicely done, ladies. I especially enjoyed the fact that all of the stories showed the love and caring the lads have for each other. Even the three cartoons reflect this. I also enjoyed the mixture - some dark, some humorous. I look forward to #3, and if everything goes well, I might be in it.

Issue 3

cover of issue #3, Anja Gruber

Down Under Express 3 was published in March 1993 and contains 106 pages.

It has a cover and three interior illos by Anja Gruber.

It won a 1994 FanQ.

From the editorial, regarding the content:

Well it's getting better all the time, don't you just love the cover! When Anja sent this it was simply irresistible. And her illos within this issue are great too. She is living proof that there is no rest for the weary (or in this case, wicked). She gave up awhile ago sending drawings for BACKTRACK and drawings for DUE. Now when she sends a batch she simply says 'I think you can figure out which ones can go where...' Thank you again for helping to make this abetter looking zine. We would like more artists to give us a try as well. I still maintain a zine can never have enough good artwork.

We have some poetry this time round -many thanks to Jean Stroud. The stories are again quite varied, and much to our delight some of them contain decided rauch! I asked the first author if she couldn't help me out in supplying what a slash zine is supposed to contain. She wrote back and said she DID have an idea floating around for a very raunchy story, and what she produced was interesting enough to make my ears go pink reading it on the train! Coming after this, Mirna's story is quite a contrast: and she produces that rarity among slash stories -- a strong and attractive female character. Thanks lady, there should be lots more of it.

Jude changes pace again with a short, rather stressful story that does some interesting character analysis. It left us feeling uncomfortable, probably because we couldn't fault the boys' reactions. Even these heroes have feet of clay, and life can certainly be a bitch.

Wally provides us with along juicy story this time; and D'arcy has ago at a short story -for the first time in her life (well, short for her at 10 pages!). The story by C.F.P. was an interesting experiment. The editors were handed a very old incomplete story and told if they could finish it they could have it for the issue. Several people decided to have ago at it (some more than others) and Maree Celeste helped out with some wicked suggestions. Most of the best one-liners came from her. She really IS wicked. We defy you to find the joins where the writers started and finished! The result is a fairly entertaining -although improbable- read. For reference on Lambert and the Range Rover see Ruth Collerson's stories in BACKTRACKs #5 and #6.

From the editorial, regarding zine piracy (the editor wrote a "retraction of sorts" in the next issue):

Some bad taste news to report before we let you get on to the stories in this issue. Our main U.S. agent, Bill Hupe, wrote and told us about the happenings at RevelCon in Houston this month. It seems the number of pirated zines being sold was so high that it was impossible to ignore. Among them were copies of DOWN UNDER EXPRESS. If any of our readers were at RevelCon and can shed some more light on the matter we want to hear from you ASAP. Perhaps most people are unaware that the international copyright laws were revamped a few years ago. Just because we are far away in Australia doesn't mean we can't clout anyone trying to pirate our zines. It takes one report to the Trade Practices Council to set things in motion and they can be very ferocious. An automatic result of such an action is that the reported person(s) is(are) audited by the I.R.S. regardless of the verdict. How do we know it works? A few years ago a 'lady' in California decided we were fair game as an extra source of income and was pirating CHRONICLES, our general B7 zine. It took one report from us here in Australia and I believe her head is still spinning from the results. You have been warned. We are friendly, generous people, but try and rip us off in this way and we will enjoy taking you apart.

• Contents and Art Credits (1)
• Editorial (2)
• Play by Axel Foley, III (threesome: Bodie, Doyle, and Murphy) (part 3 of the "Card Shark series". "Shuffle" (part 1 ) and "Deal" (part 2) were published as part of the circuit library). "This is a sequel to the circuit stories Shuffle and Deal (I don't know who wrote them), which have Murphy, Bodie and Doyle hanging around some rooms on standby, playing stud poker to relieve the boredom —the difference being that the one with the worst poker hand is going to be fucked by the other two, and the one with the best hand gets to take the initiative.The stories are suitably hot, but only deal with three of the possible six combinations -something I simply had to rectify... Honestly, the lads were just crying out for this!") (3)
• Test by Mirna Cicioni (14)
• A Matter of Issue by Jude (30)
• A Man for All Seasons by Wally (37)
• Mindthoughts by D'Arcy (59)
• Life on the Edge, poem by Jean Stroud (68)
• Change of Mind by C.F.P. (69)
• Letter Column (102)
• Advertisements (104)

• 

  from issue #3

• 

  from issue #3

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3

Comments/Spoilers:

"Play" by Axel Foley, III, recounts a strip poker game between Bodie, Doyle, and Murphy in which the stake is being fucked. Pairings are Bodie/Doyle, Bodie/Murphy, and Doyle/Murphy.

"Test" by Mirna Cicioni is a CI5-based story in which Doyle suffers doubts after a woman he's protecting on a baby-sitting op is killed.

"A Matter of Issue" by Jude is a first-time B/D story following Doyle's learning his girlfriend had got pregnant, and dealt with it on her own.

"A Man for All Seasons" by Wally is a post-Involvement story as the B/D relationship changes after Ann dumps Doyle.

D'Arcy's "Mind Thoughts" is a CI5-based story written in Doyle's pov, charting the evolution of his relationship with Bodie via events woven through various episodes.

In CFP's "Change of Mind", Doyle is kidnapped by East German agents, drugged and brainwashed into being homosexual, but fixates on Bodie alone once he's rescued.

Enjoyed MINDTHOUGHTS in spite of its tautological title. Sharp articulation of the subtexts of many of the episodes (why, however, was STAKEOUT left out?). Creditable characterisation of B. & D. I liked the unresolved feeling of the ending -I do know that slash is fantasy, but am irritated by the over-optimistic "and after they had sex for the first time they knew that their love

was forever" stories.

Liked CHANGE OF MIND, which has a believable plot as well as emotional tension and an erotic 'first time' sex scene.

Missed the light-hearted fun stories of #1 and #2. Loved the friendly, tender, giggly picture on page 56.

-TEST -I wouldn't call it the best story, but it certainly had its points. Like a sensible woman and the point of defending the rights of others even if you yourself don't agree with their views. The quote is from 'Phaedrus'? Hmmm, it seems I have to re-read my Plato...(By the way, is there really an attempt to legalise heroin??)

A MATTER OF ISSUE -This one made me angry. My first thought - typical male! Knocking off the girl and then playing the hurt innocent when she makes her own decision. Has Doyle never heard of protection [against pregnancy]?? What do you want to bet that the Doyle of this story, when the girl would have come to him to tell him, would have offered the money and the address of a doctor he just happened to know? As you can easily see, I don't like this guy.

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS - So it is possible to make a Harlequin novel in CI5 settings. The girl from that novel is a smart one! Though I doubt seriously that you can turn a heterosexual into a homosexual this way. (or any other).

MINDTHOUGHTS - An interesting perspective on the development of the partnership. And sad too. No 'Happy End', and more realistic than in the former piece; no miraculous change of basic instincts by a kiss (or even more) -the frog is still a frog.

CHANGE OF MIND -What a convenient chemical -this reminds me a bit of the Pon Farr stories - overwhelming urges. Still fun to read.

Issue 4

cover of issue #4

Down Under Express 4 was published in January 1994 and contains 116 pages.

The illos are by Anja Gruber and Karen Eaton.

From the editorial, a retraction to strong comments about zine piracy in the previous issue:

Now for a retraction of sorts. When we went to print with the last issue, we had been told by one

of our American agents. Bill Hupe, that pirated copies of DUE were being sold at a big convention he had recently attended. Since then the mis-understanding has been cleared up. It WAS a misunderstanding; the copy of DUE was legitimate, and Bill has apologised in print several times for this single case of mis-understanding, and I'll do so here too.

But, neither of us is going to apologise for the fact that other pirated material appeared to be there. This included pirated copies of individual DUE and BACKTRACK stories, lifted from earlier issues, with their borders removed and page numbers altered. These are apparently now available on the circuit, and is not the fault of either the official Librarian or ANY convention committee.

Can I make one request. Those fans who have so much boundless energy could stop hounding fellow fans, and get down to the business of helping stamp out zine pirating. It's such a shame to see all that energy being used to make innocent people's lives miserable when it could be put to so much good.

From the editorial, about the content:

The stories are many and varied again. C.F.P. had so much fun with their story in the last issue that they got together and produced another -but much raunchier- story for this one. It's VERY hot in places! and proves that group writing can be fun and entertaining for the readers as well as the writers. I heard from the main culprit, that she had so much fun writing her bits (late at night, after the kids had gone to bed) that she was already rearing to do sequel. All I can say is stay tuned, with the ice cubes and towel, and don't read it on the train or bus for fear of giving over-the-shoulder readers a heart attack or two.

The next story, by old favourite Anna Vie (oh no, I keep leaving myself open for these severe beatings -I can hear her now - "Not so much of the OLD, Keating, unless you want me to prove I still got a good left hook"). It's a delightful piece, that virtually wrote itself she said. It's a lot of fun. All I want to know now is, what DO they say about ballet dancers?

Jean was one of the people who came to my rescue when it looked like we were going to be short of our page count. She supplied the next story, a short introspective piece set late at night in a hospital

Another moody piece comes from Susan Clarke, who doesn't normally grace these pages in story mode. I'm not quite sure how she got here, but she's got spare time to write these kinds of stories we may just have to put out another fanzine. Can't have editors having spare time —it's not in the contract.

The big, big story this issue comes from April Pentland, a new writer to this zine, but with plans on becoming a prolific regular. I'm tempted to say a thank-you here to the editor who first rejected this story as being "too hot to print". Too hot to print!!?? In this fandom??? Give me a break! But thanks, thanks for giving ME the opportunity to print it. I'm very grateful. It's a juicy, well-written piece -far more wicked than hot (although it has that too). The sequel to this story follows straight after, and parts 3 and 4 will appear in the next issues.

And Jude winds up the issue for us with a short story about frustration, in more ways than one, and the requisite street crims and dealers.

• Contents and Art Credits (1)
• Editorial (2)
• Joint Tenants by C.F.P. (3)
• The Green Ey'd Monster by Anna Vie (29)
• Death Watch/Life Watch by Jean Stroud (37)
• I Hate It Here, poem by Jean Stroud (39)
• untitled poem by Peighi (40)
• Declaration, poem by Jude (40)
• Bodie by Susan Clarke (gen) (41)
• Right of Way, poem by Jude (51)
• Pulse by April Pentland (53)
• Power for the Course, poem by Jude (90)
• Roses by April Pentland (sequel to "Pulse") (91)
• Status Quo by Jude (101)
• Deadly Charm, poem by Jude (107)
• Letter Column (109)
• Advertisements (110)

• 

  from issue #4, Karen Eaton

• 

  from issue #4, Karen Eaton

• 

  from issue #4, Anya Gruber

• 

  from issue #4, Karen Eaton (from Facelift)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

"Joint Tenants" is an interesting story if you accept the premise that Bodie and Doyle happen to be both closet cases. I'm just not sure that Cowley would put them (and I mean all of the agents) in such a position. Even I would feel stressed if I had to share all my time with the people I work with -and they are nice people, and I have a boringly normal job. Cowley should have thought of that. They wouldn't stay on the job long if they behave like in The Green-Ey'd Monster -jealousy or not.

"Deathwatch/Lifewatch" inspired by Discovered In A Graveyard?

"Pulse" Again I'm not sure the need would be pressing enough to forget everything else, but it gives them a chance to And what a confrontation. Most stories I've read never touched on the boss knowing or he choose to ignore it. But Cowley is not dumb, and this is more like it! And I love the little by-play with the closet.

More than "Pulse" I enjoyed the sequel, Roses. All I have to do now is to find the time to go to the library and find out if there is any reality to this Japanese tatoo lection. Hope confront Cowley directly, there is.

The thought is just lovely (am I a sucker for romance, or am I not?!)

The cartoons are as cute as usual and I hope Karen keeps her fertile mind busy.

Re DUE#4 Hello to all. And to the editors, authors, and artists, keep up the great work, DUE is a fine zine, with excellent stories, artwork and format. It's hard to choose a favourite story as they're all extremely well-written. I ordered my first issue of DUE earlier this year (1994) and haven't been disappointed in the quality of the entire package, as I had been years ago with other fan-written material.

Keep up the good work.

Issue 5

cover of issue #5, Anja Gruber

Down Under Express 5 was published in March 1994 and contains 86 pages.

from issue #5, Anja Gruber

The cover and single interior illo are by Anja Gruber.

From the editorial:

Welcome to an almost - impromptu - issue of DOWN UNDER EXPRESS.

With April's next part to the PULSE series already in the file, and Maree working on what promised to be a fairly big story, we decided to attempt putting another issue together in time for MediaWest*Con 94. If it came together, fine, if not then we would keep it open until we had enough to put it out. If by magic - or good intuition - Jude must have known something was in the air, and in the mail came another story of hers with the message "hope you can use this'!

We took this as an omen and Maree put her head down, blocked out most of the outside world, and barrelled ahead with her own story. Cats, dogs, children climbed all over her, demanding attention and - shock, horror - feeding on a regular basis : she snarled and grumbled and waved her hand in the general direction of the kitchen, saying that they'd lived here long enough to know where everything was and would someone take that can opener off the dog he looks silly enough already without pretending be knows how to use it.

April's story, SYMPTOMS, is part three in the PULSE series. Part four will appear in the next issue of DUE, which shouldn't be too fax in the future if the current pace is anything to go by!

Jude's story is a short but interesting piece. I can have a malicious sense of humour, as well as justice, and I enjoyed the twist in this story. Apart from the injuries the 'heroine' sustained, I was plad Bodie was pissed off when he found out. My little mind voice said 'sec how it feels to be used like that, and remember it the next time you have to do the same thing'. A very nice piece.

I'm not going to say much about DOYLE, Maree's story. I don't want to be pre-emptive and I don't want to give anybody a bias before reading it. It's just about the tightest (read: neatest) story she has written to date, and I have no problems understanding why she became obsessed with it while it was under way.

Please write and let us know what you think of it and the other two stories, and the zine in general. We love the feedback.

The cover illustration is done again by Anja. The blend of saucy and a little humour is a constant delight. I love this one. I love the nipple! It just draws the eyes right to it, and you can't help but smile. I want to thank her espcciaUy, for being able to send it .... considering I said the next deadline was September and then moved it forward seven months. (I'm wondering how to tell her that the next deadline is still September!) Thanks again to Helen, our typist in-residence - or in-chains - who makes our production load a lot easier to bear, and to Gale Good, and Bill and Ann Hupe, our American agents. Thanks for all your help.

The next issue is open for contributions now. We need stories, poetry, scenarios, articles, debates, anything that's entertaining to read. We're interested in A/U, humour, 'first limes', death stories, stories about other CI-5 people -- not just B. & D. If you're in doubt (about content not quality) send it. Again steer clear of rape, incest, S. & M., torture, etc. unless they really are needed for the story. At the other end of the spectrum we'd also like to keep to a minimum elves, pointed ears and magic, children, and small furry animals unless you can do them with humour or a completely new approach. All printed contributions of three pages or more receive a contributor's copy, as is our usual policy.

There's no letter column in this. There hasn't been enough time between issues to give anyone the chance to write. Please help us make up for it by sending your comments on this and any of the previous issues to us. We all enjoy reading them.

I hope you enjoy reading this issue.

• Editorial (1)
• Symptoms by April Pentland (sequel to "Roses") (3)
• Moment by Moment by Jude (25)
• Doyle by Maree Celeste (33)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5

Comments/Spoilers:

"Doyle" by Maree Celeste is set pre-CI5 with a Doyle/OMC pairing. Doyle falls for his murdered gay roommate's lover while looking into the killing. Bodie doesn't appear, but Cowley is in a few scenes.

April Pentland's "Symptoms" is a sequel to her duo of stories in Down Under Express 4: "Pulse" and "Roses".

Symptoms - well, I hate to go to a doctor myself, but I'm not sure I follow the reasoning here. Feeling like being run over by a truck might be a part of an oncoming flu, but this total immobility.... I would get a scare, as victim or partner. Okay, so I'm just a civilian woman, and these are two strong, solitary, independent males and probably scared shitless of needles.

Moment by Moment - With Bodie there seems to be a build up to the relationship with Doyle, though I don't quite see when or why Ray turned to him (not that I don't understand...). Nice change not to have fireworks going with the first kiss or the 'instinctive knowing what to do'. And the relationship seems to head for a balance between the mushy ' love-forever' and the harder 'sex-for-fun' approach. Live it day to day. Very sensible.

Dovle - My favourite story. Nice set up for further possibilities when he finally ends up in CI5 and meets a certain 'dark and handsome'. A chance for another part of the lives of the Bisto Kids?

Would you please tell Maree Celeste that I really liked her story Dovle - tightly written, wonderful use of flashbacks, credible characterisation of the young Ray? She really should try getting out of fanfic, although fanfic is undoubtedly easier than the Real Effort.

[reply by one of the editors, Susan]: Joanne said, well, you're co-editor, you make a comment on this one. So, I guess I will, after all that's what editorial presence is all about. Is fanfic easier than the Real Thing? It already has set characters and some hints on background and behaviour parameters, but that in itself makes it a lot harder than writing the "real thing". Instead of being able to let imagination take over and develop characters as you will, you must make all their reactions and situations fit in with proscribed guidelines, The challenge of fanfic is to be able to 'flesh out' characters that are only presented in a hour-long action situation; to breath further life into them and keep them true to the characters presented: to put them into situations that would not normally be handled by the series. I find it easier to write the 'real thing', however I find comfort in writing fiction that I know has a ready audience and that the characters then become close friends and lovers.

D.U.E.#5 arrived safely. Anja Gruber's front cover is even better than the one she did for D.U.E. #4. Love all the emotion she managed to capture in their faces.

I enjoyed the latest installment of April Pentland's series of stories. Though unlike Bodie in Symptoms. I'd have been straight on the phone for a doctor...

Maree Celeste has come up with another cracker in Dovle. Usually I prefer both Bodie and Doyle to be in the story. But Doyle. and Susan Clarke's Bodie [in D.U.E. #4] are so well written that it doesn't matter that one of the pair isn't featured.

[reply by one of the editors, Susan]: The final part of the trilogy appears in this issue and I hope you enjoy it as well. It was a great deal of fun collaborating with Maree on the stories. . . she lives so far away that we rarely get a chance to actually physically visit, but any good excuse to get together is great. Heck, maybe we'll do one about Susan and Murphy next.... I quite enjoy reading more about the characters. I guess this adds us to the fact that I like to flesh out the characters and not just play with them when it comes to utilising established characters.

Issue 6

Down Under Express 6 was published in February 1995 and contains 120 pages. It won a 1996 FanQ. Cover and illos by Anja Gruber.

front cover of issue #6, Anja Gruber

back cover of issue #6, Anja Gruber

From the editorial:

Thank you to all the people who-contributed to this issue. Especially to those who got their pieces in when requested and have had to wait along time to see them in print. Anja Gruber has given us another great cover. I love her cover work because it is clear and crisp to look at, and so often has a touch of humour or light-heartedness to lift it even further. She has also supplied the internal illos and the back cover, all of which are nice and/or cheeky. Thanks so much for helping to make this zine a class act!

[...]

There are stories this issue from some of our regulars, Jude, Peighi, and D'arcy, and from April Pentland, including the final part in the 'Pulse' series of stories. There are two new names to our pages; the first is H.G., whose stories have been a constant source of delight to B/D fans for many years. I am honoured that she has joined us here, and hope she will continue to contribute to future issues. The other new name is Mandy, a fairly new writer, and for her first piece she tackles one of the most popular topics of B/D fan fiction: the return of Ann Holly. I can understand this fascination with her. 'Involvement' was one of the most painful and intense Professionals episodes, but it didn't have a tidy or happy ending. I know if I thought myself a halfway decent writer, it would be one of the first subjects I would tackle... apart from all the unresolved issues just from the episode, I have a lot of sympathy and empathy with Ann Holly and I understand too well the way she thought and the things that drove her. I really like Mandy's approach because she has the sense to see Ann not as the simple bitch so many others have, but as a single- and strong-minded woman. I'd better stop there as it's a subject I can discuss at very great length.

• Editorial (2)
• Clap Hands by HG (3)
• Tough Guy by April Pentland (13)
• A Hard Man by Jude (29)
• Music of the Night by Mandy (42)
• For a Second by Peighi (50)
• Lighten Our Darkness by D'Arcy (gen) (55)
• The Op by April Pentland (sequel to "Symptoms") (66)
• Letter Column (117)

• 

  from issue #6

• 

  from issue #6

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 6

Comments/Spoilers:

"Clap Hands" by HG is a first-tiime story set in the CI5 world. After they get together, they discuss their previous relationship.

"Tough Guy" by April Pentland features Bodie and Doyle having sex in a flat they've just used for a stake out.

"A Hard Man" by Jude deals with Doyle's discovering Bodie is impotent, at least with a girl.

In "Music of the Night" by Mandy, Ann Holly's return puts a strain on Bodie's and Doyle's relationship as Doyle suffers conflicted feelings.

"For a Second" by Peighi is a Bodie/Cowley story set pre-CI5, told in Cowley's pov.

D'Arcy's "Lighten Our Darkness" is a gen story that recounts, via flashbacks, Doyle's story from the death of Syd Parker to Doyle's joining CI5, and Bodie's via flashbacks of Africa through to the aftermath of Wild Justice.

"The Op" by April Pentland is an SF AU in which Bodie and Doyle are infected by alien organisms from outer space that cause dire effects, but also lead to a change in their relationship. This story is the fourth in a sequence, all by April Pentland: "Pulse" and "Roses" in Down Under Express 4, and "Symptoms" in Down Under Express 5.

I've just finished DUE#6. My favourite story is THE OP. Not just the best in the zine but also the best in April Pentland's series. It's good to see the relationship worked into the job and the way that Cowley comes to accept and not merely ignore it.

Second favourite is LIGHTEN OUR DARKNESS, with its slightly different view of two popular episodes and the background that's supplied. Hopefully there will be a follow-up. (Joanne - yes, the sequel is in the works.)

The others had nice points in them, like the slow approach in A HARD MAN, and the neat twist that Doyle actually did research on the topic in TOUGH GUY, even though Bodie's reaction qualifies as what I would call human pon farr, sensory overload.

FOR A SECOND did the least for me, but that's because I'm not a believer in Bodie/Cowley.

Favourite stories from #6 are HG' s CLAP HANDS (an author who always delivers), April Pentland's TOUGH GUY, and Mandy's MUSIC OF THE NIGHT (nice to have a different point of view on Ann Holly. I don't see her as a bitch though I have thought of her as uncompromising.)

April Pentland's THE OP is a good long read. It gave Bodie the chance of mounting his white charger and galloping off to rescue both Doyle and Cowley. I enjoyed reading it very much.

Issue 7

front cover of issue #7, Shayne McCormack

back cover of issue #7, Anja Gruber

Down Under Express 7 was published in May 1995 and contains 116 pages.

The front cover is by Shayne McCormack, the single interior illo is by Mano-A-Mano (D. Holmes), and the back cover is by Anja Gruber.

From the editorial:

Unlike the last issue this one has come together fairly quickly, The other incentive that probably made this one an easier task is knowing that once this issue is out I can take a bit of a break until September, when we have to start looking at the issues for the following year, I must be getting old if I'm looking foreward [sic] to the breaks between issues as well as the new issues themselves.

Due to severe financial constraints and other commitments, neither Susan or I will be at MediaWest*Con this year when this and several of our other new zines will be debuting (or is that debutting?). Having been there for the previous two years I have been pining since the beginning of May because I am not going to be there. I'll miss seeing Bill and Anne Hupe (going spare and frantic in their house and at the orphan zine tables), the great hotel, and hotel staff (in Australia conventions rarely take over a whole hotel and the staff usually make it their mission to deprive service, not be helpful, and roam the corridores making more noise telling room parties to shut up than the fans are making themselves), and seeing the friends and fans one can only see once a year (after you've met a letter-friend of many years and partied for a weekend with them letters are never quite the same, you want to actually talk to them).

This issue contains four long stories, all by some of our regular writers.

In SERENDIPITY Jude shows us how stubborn and narrow-minded people cause repercussions well beyond what they would expect, and Bodie gets to show that despite being in a settled relationship with Doyle for some time he is still a narrow-minded male jerk when it comes to females. I appreciated this insight the most in the story because it is so true of Bodie.

Wally's A WEEKEND IN AFRICA is a strange tale, and I mean that in a good way. I enjoyed the confrontation between the old and young Bodies, and despite the ending where they come back from their 'trip' being a bit simplistic (I would have smashed the equipment to be on the very safe side, and Susan agreed too), it leads to a scene that is so neat that it took me a little while to let all the quirks (or is that ’quarks'?) fall into place. I had to read it several times to make sure I got all the pieces. It was so subtle it was almost wasted on my sometimes boofhead brain.

April Pentland's stories are a pidgeon pair. They are also A/U (alternate universe) but don't panic, there are no elves, children, or small furry animals, and Cowley and CI-5 are very much as they should be. I don't want to give too much away here as it will spoil the impact as the stories unfold. All I want to say is that I found them very enjoyable. They had a charm about them that I can't put into words but I think it has something to do with finding that perfect relationship and being able to put it in the perfect setting with what appears to be very few cares in the world. That would probably do it for me. And Cowley and the sea shells was a treat!

• Editorial (2)
• Serendipity by Jude (3)
• A Weekend in...Africa? by Wally (19)
• Angel Street by April Pentland (43)
• Rose Cottage by April Pentland (sequel to The Op) (81)
• Letter Column (116)

• 

  from issue #7, Mano-A-Mano

Issue 8

Down Under Express 8 was published in May 1996 and contains 94 pages.

The art is by Anja Gruber and Karen Eaton.

front cover of issue #8, Anja Gruber

back cover of issue #8, Anja Gruber

From the editorial:

Hi , this front piece is going to be very short because I am in a real rush to get the zine finished in time for two conventions, Parliament Of Dreams, a Babylon 5 con in Brisbane, Australia (with Garibaldi and Talia!), and of course MediaWest*Con, which again neither Susan or I will be going to ... sigh. But we are sooooo looking forward to the Brisbane convention.

• Editorial (2)
• Just a Little Fracture by Jude (3)
• Mayday by Cynthia Coe (16)
• A Christmas Carol by Wally (45)
• Bears Repeating by James (55)
• The Other Side by April Pentland (59)
• Writing in Progress by James (89)

• 

  from issue #8, Anja Gruber

• 

  from issue #8, Karen Eaton

• 

  from issue #8, Karen Eaton

• 

  from issue #8, Anja Gruber