When Rain Comes

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	When Rain Comes
Author(s):	Andi Lenor
Date(s):	1997
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links:
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When Rain Comes is a Kirk/Spock story by Andi Lenor. It was the winner of a Philon Award.

art by Kathy Stanis on page 9 of "First Time," "Wondering" for the story "When Rain Comes": "Wow! I really love this portrait of Spock. Perfectly executed, it captures that wonderful look of consternation that comes over our Vulcan’s face when he is trying to figure out some human idiosyncrasy or has some other equally weighty problem to solve. I can almost see the wheels spinning fast and furiously in that elegant head! Beautifully done! "

It was published in the print zine First Time #45.

Summary

"Kirk and Spock are drawn closer together as the 5 year mission continues, but when Kirk almost dies when the command chair explodes during a battle, Spock realizes that they could have a future together."

At KiSmet 2011, Elise M displayed a number of "story pictures" -- Kirk and Spock dolls shown in a scene from a story accompanied by some lines from a story. Fans were challenged to identify with story the tableaus illustrated. These CGAs were later printed in The K/S Press. This one was for "When Rain Comes."

The Author Comments

In The K/S Press #8, Andi comments at great length about the inspiration and process of writing this story.

Some excerpts:

front cover of First Time #41, inspiration for this story, artist is Shelley Butler

back cover of First Time #41, inspiration for this story, artist is Shelley Butler

Several people have commented to me that the rain theme kind of got lost, so one reason I thought I'd do this is because it will be a way to explain why. After a little thought, I think I've figured out what happened. Actually, I've got a really quick fix for you right off the bat. I'd like to change the title to the other one I was considering— TOUCH OF AN ALIEN HAND, and move the poem to the end of the story right after Spock's last words. What do you think? That way the reader wouldn't spend most of the time wondering what rain had to do with anything—it would just be a minor note that gets nicely tied off by the poem at the end, yes?

I was going to the big Creation Cons and had met Robin Hood and a couple of others and seen Shelley's art (!). Meanwhile, my little rain idea had begun to seem like something that would be easy to turn into a little story about Spock. You know, just a vignette about Spock getting caught in the rain on some shore leave planet and later that night wondering if being caressed and made love to by Jim would feel as wonderful as the rain's caress had felt. End of story. But then you start to wonder what brought him to the point of thinking about Kirk that way, and does he ever get to find out what making love feels like? Then...I saw Shelley's SPOCK BY THE POOL drawing and the companion one of Kirk COMING FROM THE POOL at Robin's table at a convention. And my water idea kind of expanded a little to include a pool as well as the rain. To my mind, Spock looked absolutely anguished and disparing in that drawing. I spent many pleasant moments trying to figure out what could have happened to cause that anguish. At the same time, I also had a couple of other scenes half-written in my head that I thought I'd to fold into a story some day. One of them the opening scene where Spock witnesses Jim with the hooker and the other the scene on the bridge. I had also always thought that the quote from the Romulan commander would make a terrific opener to a scene. For a while, I tried to write the story with that has the opening line, but it would have meant some confusing flashbacks and so on, so I dropped the effort. The scene in Spock's quarters where Kirk has his Freudian slip and calls Spock t'hy'la was one I had actually written on paper about three or four years previously because it popped into my mind so vividly— almost fully written. Originally they were going to kiss for the first time at the end of that scene, but it didn't work with the rest of the story, so instead I moved a line or two from the kissing part to the big love scene at the end.

As my story got longer and longer, the rain theme took up a proportionately smaller part of my story. And I knew that and I couldn't figure out how to put more rain in without really stretching the metaphor past working. Also some of the scenes as first written in my head had a lot more impact as isolated scenes than after they were woven into the story. So you could say that for these reasons, I wasn't entirely happy with it. Add to that the fact that while I was trying to finish it, I was also realizing that structurally and thematically it had a lot of similarities to my first story but without quite as much punch, in a way. I liked a lot of my scenes individually, but as a whole the story seemed somewhat lacking. Perhaps if I had been able to keep it to just a small atmospheric story about Spock and rain, it may have been more effective. So basically my story got away from me. I just couldn't keep from writing extra bits and in-between things because I wanted it to be real; in fact, I think that's why I tend to write around aired Trek. It's almost as if weaving K/S in and around aired ("real") Trek so that it all fits seamlessly makes it become real, as if the K/S scenes were always in there. But we never saw them because of the censors.

Reactions and Reviews

This story touched me in the mysterious way that all of K/S touches all of us—and it's indescribable. I guess it touched me in that perfect K/S spot—and I will never forget it.

The whole first part of the story shows Kirk and Spock at a luxurious hotel on a starbase, there to attend a mission briefing. This wonderful set-up becomes the window for us to view their secret feelings for each other. From the very first scene of Spock arriving unexpectedly early at the suite and finding Kirk engaged with the "hostess", I was riveted to every word. The author created such great realistic detail in this and in every scene. Here was the "credit disk—one hour", the accommodations, the starbase city all beautifully and vividly shown. Spock's devastation at seeing his beloved Kirk with this prostitute is achingly real. He, of course, doesn't know Kirk's real intentions and when he hears Kirk is asleep and he goes to his bedroom and watches Kirk with "those curves gleamed whitely in the moonlight, like an alabaster sculpture...", my heart broke. The writing is positively stunning as Spock's growing arousal "excited and frightened him" and he gets a twinge of a hard-on, but quells it. All of the undercurrents of their thoughts as they are together are so beautifully written. Here, as in this author's previous terrific story, she weaves the episodes and their events into the main story so expertly and so vividly that I am caught up in the reality of it all. I really adore this technique—for me it strengthens the story and I feel a part of it without having to know all the details of each event. Using the episodes in this manner also makes the story come even more alive—we all know what happened, for instance, with the Medusan ambassador, so we "fill in" with our knowledge as we read. Spock's thoughts on past experiences of sexual arousal from contact with his captain are sublime. I adored the use of episodes also as memories: "Jim's smooth skin had been oddly pleasing to the touch— warm, firm, satiny, radiating an almost tangible life energy". How gorgeous. All of Spock's ruminations about his desirability to Kirk and his feelings are expertly portrayed. Here the author again uses the episodes as a kind of "emotional history" such as the interaction with the Romulan commander and Kirk's question to Spock about his attraction to her. Later in the story, Kirk and Spock stay at a hotel together for a few days of shore leave. This situation sets up a perfect backdrop for all the exploration and evolution of their feelings. All the things that happen here become pivotal for the rest of the story. The scene in the restaurant where Kirk brings Sam's ex-girlfriend and she sees Spock is wonderful. I adored her Shakespearean quote: "What a piece of work is a man" and how the second she said it I knew to whom she was referring! And she knows Kirk's true feelings for his first officer by the look on his face when he sees Spock from across the room. What a wonderful conversation they have as she tells Kirk she can help him seduce a man. The scene where Spock watches Kirk in the pool is truly divine. I could visualize every detail, every moment right along with Spock including the moonlight on Kirk's body. I adored this scene (actually, I think I adored every scene) as Spock watches Kirk masturbate and Kirk mouths a single word and we know what word that is. Every detail is exquisitely described and seeing it all through Spock's eyes as he thinks "the whole scene had been one of unaccountable beauty" was so achingly beautiful. (Just a little side note: While I was reading this, I kept thinking how much the scene seemed like my two drawings of Spock by the pool and of Kirk coming out of the pool. I was immensely flattered when the author told me she indeed had them in mind. Boy! Talk about creating a picture with words!) Spock's continuing doubts and fears and longings for Kirk are developed so well. I just loved how one minute he'd imagine himself in Kirk's arms and the next he'd think Kirk only wanted women. After the mind-meld with the Medusan, Kirk comes into Spock's quarters—" 'I almost lost you today, Spock. It...scared me." I love that admission by Kirk—so poignant, so vulnerable. Then a searing moment when Kirk calls Spock "T'hy'la" and uses the old pronunciation which is far more meaningful than the contemporary. I know one K/Ser had difficulty with the idea that T'Pau would reveal anything about pon farr to an "outworlder". but I felt it was explained very well that T'Pau strongly sensed the link between Kirk and Spock. There's an attack on the Enterprise and an excellent battle scene—clear, simple and very exciting with good use of technology to engage rather than distance. What an extraordinary scene–Kirk is severely injured and Spock's explosive feelings and loss of Vulcan control come to bear on the bridge in front of everyone. Wow! "You cannot leave me, T'hy'la." And the beautiful, aching words between them as Kirk lays in Spock's arms—"Forever would not be long enough, T'hy'la." And then Spock kisses Kirk. I will simply never forget this scene. It was as powerful as the scene in the author's previous story where Spock ripped Parmen's head off! Then more wonderful scenes as Spock struggles with his pain of loving and needing Kirk and wanting him to heal. I also must comment on an excellently portrayed McCoy who is nice and feisty and compassionate when it counts. So many gorgeous lines: Kirk says: "You know, in some cultures, if you save a man's life, that life belongs to you." Spock answers: "Indeed. Then we belong to each other many times over." Be still my heart: Kirk doesn't remember "the kiss". And a terrific beautiful detail where Kirk wants to review the ship's logs so "he could spend hours listening to the sound of Spock's voice". And check this out—"God, he wanted to taste Spock again! He wanted to fill his mouth with that most intimate flesh, feel it hot and pulsing against his tongue, lick the velvet softness of the head and wonder how it would feel as it pushed its way deep into his ass, filling him with Spock's living heat". The sex scene is a fantastic blend of pure passion mixed with stunning romance. It is absolutely breathtaking. After all this, I have only one difficulty in this otherwise totally brilliant story. Alert! The POV Police are here! And in this story, the switching POVs affected it more than others because the POV was so important to the readers' suspense and involvement. Each time that we "found out" what Kirk was really thinking after we heard what Spock was thinking, the story was weakened. It's enjoyable and exciting to go along with Spock and wonder and hope right along with him about how Kirk really feels about him. It's almost like each time there was any suspense, we would be told that there really was nothing to worry about, that even if Spock didn't know it, Kirk really did love him and it'd be okay. Not fun! Perhaps the structure would have worked well if the POVs had changed every other scene, not every other paragraph or sometimes every other line. But this aside, I cannot say enough how much I loved WHEN RAIN COMES. Which reminds me how much I enjoyed the through line of the rain images—especially how the rain caressing Spock's body was how he imagined Kirk's touch would feel. And I'm sorry if I might confuse the author or the issue, but I felt all the rain images were fine, thank you.

I must say that I hope Andi Lenor will please write a tiny bit faster so we don't have to wait like two years for these perfect gems of stories. They have been and are among my top favorites. But every so often, a K/S story comes along that really defines K/S. For me, this was one of those stories.

A kind friend arranged for me to read this, knowing how much I enjoyed Andi's other story, "A Moment's Surrender".

Wow. This one is as good if not better, and I do not say that lightly. The author takes her time, showing us the growing attraction between both men, and how each thinks that the other would surely not be interested. And yet, while this is stuff that has been done many times, she makes it all seem fresh and new.

It's quite a long story yet it flies by as you eagerly keep turning the page. Finally you get to the moment where all is revealed -- and then Kirk is injured, very badly, and Spock knows that he may not make it. Spock has to let him go and take command, get the ship out of trouble, get the captain to a hospital -- he needs much more than Sickbay can provide. And he does so, handles the ensuing battle with a tactic Kirk himself would have been proud of, then goes to Sickbay and insists on melding with Kirk to sustain his life force, since he is obviously dying.... McCoy is handled very well here, he sounds very true to himself as I perceive him, and it's obvious that he cares deeply for both of them and wants things to work out.

And then comes the long wait for Kirk to get out of regen, while Spock wonders if what he heard was real, if Kirk will remember it, and what will happen next?

Then they finally get to meet again, and Spock realizes it's going to be all right. Kirk not only remembers but is eager to be with him; and then we see their reunion in intense and loving detail, ahhh, so good....

Nice artwork here, too, and the whole story is just paced exactly so, and draws you on in.... You got to read this one, it's a real treat!!

I don't think that I've come across Andi Lenor before. The author is new to me, and I didn't at all know what to expect. So, with a feeling of anticipation and a small amount of apprehension I started reading. Would this be any good?

I was soon put at ease—to say the least. My anticipation climbed with the UST creeping out of every page. Damn, this story is brilliant I caught myself thinking throughout the read.

I love the way the author uses the theme of rain throughout, coming full circle at the end. I love the way the tension is building throughout the story until you as a reader are as absolutely and utterly in love as both Kirk and Spock. I couldn't put this story down. It was one of those rare moments when you wish the words would just go on and on and the story would never end. When Rain Comes is definitely a favorite story of mine.

It's just lovely to find something this compelling, where the characterizations just fit so well, where the UST is making you sweat and the plot draws you along without becoming obtrusive to the love-story. I enjoy a well-written love-story more than anything.

When Rain Comes starts out with Kirk and Spock on Starbase 9, having to meet the brass about the Romulan cloaking device.

Kirk arrives first to the suite they're sharing, and knowing that Spock won't show up until the next day he goes out and picks up a woman to relieve his need for the first officer. This is the first hint we get that Kirk wants Spock.

But Spock beams down early and becomes witness to a highly explicit scene. His own reactions to the events taking place before his eyes in the darkness makes him question his reactions. And the slow build of Spock's realization that he loves Kirk is masterfully done.

This scene is the start of a very erotic, very suspense-filled story that takes you on an emotional roller coaster. I would really like to know where I could find more stories of this brilliant author.

I'm very sorry, but I find it hard to believe that T'Pau would tell Kirk about Pon Farr, especially because I am given no insight in the logic which would have prompted such an event. From "Are our ceremonies for outworlders, Spock?" to telling Kirk about something which, in their eyes, is so shameful that it isn't even mentioned, let alone talked about, is a great leap of faith.

I really like this author's style. I loved her last story, "Pop-top Parmen" and I like this one. What Andi does so nicely is to use the aired series stories as jumping off points for her own tale. She doesn't retell the episode but instead uses it to tie her narrative together. The episodes are also used to illustrate the deepening relationship between Kirk and Spock. So clever! This particular story has a great moment between the two characters during a crisis on the bridge. Kirk has been badly injured, in fact, he may be dying. Spock places this gentle kiss on Kirk's lips as they lay together on the deck. Loved it. make Vulcans what they are.

The way the author wrote outside the dialogue is what impressed me most about this story. From gracefully moving the speaker around to the battle scene with the Kitarrh smugglers, her descriptions were clear, easily drawing mind pictures. I wish I could do that.

This was a pleasure to read. A beautiful story emotionally, and very nicely shown, not told. But, I'm left afterwards not being able to say what it's "about," other than Kirk and Spock's growing-into-love. It took me a while into the story, but then I realized we were basically going through some episodes, with extra added stuff also. I always like this, stories with specific episode tie-ins, but was feeling this story took on an extensive time span without having a real focus. Maybe it had some underlying theme, but even there, it's not like each thing that happened to them crystallized around some common center or anything. However, neither was anything wasted-everything that happened within these revisited episodes and all the new settings clearly advanced their coming-together.

I recall Andi's other story which we ended up calling the "Spock ripping Parmen's head off" story, but in actuality that story, too, took us through a number of episodes with Kirk and Spock before it got to that denouement in that episode setting. I wouldn't say that this story has such a dramatic denouement.

This isn't to say anything against freely using episodes in any number of ways in our stories. But if you're going to closely replay the episode, as was done here, leading us to believe this might be the core of the story, then it might be better to stick with one episode. I'm not certain this is a valuable rule to go by; it's just that it kept bothering me because at the end of the story I couldn't say in a few words what the story was about. We can't say, this is the story about the Rornulan Commander episode, or this is the story about the Medusan episode. Maybe we could say, this is the story where they're on a tropical planet and then Kirk almost dies and then they're back on that planet and.... Nothing substantial to really grab onto.

However, I loved every word, showing Kirk and Spock slowly and realistically-and not without obstacles-coming closer. I had no complaints as I was reading. I wouldn't call this a PWP? problem; but it seems a story would do well to have some kind of shape.

There were some small flaws, a few awkward sentences. Mostly the POV was kept to one scene/one POV, but often we had both Kirk and Spock POV together.

Sexy right off, I like that. Some off-duty time at a starbase, and Spock inadvertently observes Kirk with a prostitute (but as it happens, Kirk's thinking of Spock as he's having sex with her). Excellent, the inner feelings of Spock's.

Lovely scenes with memorable details-the quietly growing intimacy within their friendship, their uncertainties about each other's feelings.

So we have the Romulan Commander episode redone, with an excellent view of Spock within this frame. And it feels we leam these things organically; we're not just informed of them from outside. Well thought out aspects of his sexuality (Andi paints a good picture of Spock as not-human), leading finally to the inescapable conclusion that he lusts after Kirk, and loves him. But feels it impossible Kirk would want him.

And we leam more about Kirk's feelings toward Spock, through Kirk talking with an old friend. He feels Spock must come to him.

Scenes take place at a starbase on a tropical planet; the title/metaphor fits in with this. I liked this place, and also the realistic goings-on of their life-mission briefings, debriefings, off-duty times, etc. This place made for a useful setting in a practical sense, and for some marvelously anguishing and/or gorgeously sexy scenes. Okay, so can we say the story was about rain? Not really—this rain metaphor was perfect as a title and a poetic, recurring theme, but not a substantial enough thread through the story to be able to say that's what it's about (I'm belaboring this point, I know.)

Again and again, really wonderfully done, Spock's painful longing, his growing physical responses. Also the sweet or cute or warm and loving scenes between them, warmed me incomparably-the deep friendship charged with their innate sexual energy, that so easily tilts over into declarations and demonstrations of love. The tension throughout is superb. And also the scenes when they're just not getting through to each other-l was glad for the anger surfacing in Kirk, that he is offering yet Spock is not really hearing him.

Then we pick up after Spock's meld with the Medusan. I thought letting five months pass without anything further happening between them was really too long.

But such is life on the starship Enterprise...and things finally come to a head during a red alert-an excruciatingly beautiful terrible almost-dying scene.... Good ship-battle maneuvers, too, in this scene.

So now we have Kirk at a medical facility and Spock having to go with the ship. I liked seeing the scenes on the ship with Spock in command. I know sometimes writing a story can be so daunting that you might be tempted to gloss over elements such as this that aren't necessarily integral to the story; but I'm glad Andi didn't.

But then they are finally back together again, and it is useless to avoid it anymore, nor do they want to. My heart was melting. The words they say to each other are extraordinary. Gorgeously romantic, perfectly apt for each of them. And long, slow, intense, erotic moments, a wonderful undressing scene, and it goes from there...I was crying over the depth of feeling, over Spock's vulnerability. And beautiful lovemaking, perfectly written, each and every moment. God, they're both so good. And a meld-ecstasy. And a mirror, oh god. And they are bonded. Help me....

This is a wonderful story by an author who knows what she's doing. I agree with others who have said that the rain metaphor is not extended satisfactorily or completely. I believe it should have been used with the first scene, and specifically linked to Spock, and other connections would have come more naturally. But, that was only one small problem with a tale that was compelling in its simplicity.

There are several memorable scenes. I especially liked when Kirk spots Spock in the restaurant. Even though his female companion (platonic!) fills the annoying K/S cliche of omnipotent observer, it was still terrific for her to be able to read Kirk's hopeless love in his eyes, and thus transmit it to us.

And I really liked the scene where Kirk is injured on the bridge, and what they say to each other. Again, this scene bordered on the clich6, but it was written so well, with such sincerity, that it worked.

Likewise, when Kirk calls Spock Thy'la, I could hear the captain's voice, the affection in it. That scene was written with great immediacy.

As Shelley mentioned last month, I also noticed the pov shifts, and thought the story was generally weaker for their frequency, and for the same reasons she cited. When you shift into another character's head, you've got to ask yourself why you're doing it, and what impact this will have on the story.

I thought this story was particularly well structured, with beginning and ending off the ship, a nice momentum, good section where Kirk is alone in stasis and Spock must endure the time passing on the Enterprise. It all flowed very nicely.

Great part where Kirk doesn't remember what passed between them on the bridge, the kiss, and Spock engineers a reminder by sending him bridge tapes. However, I thought the author missed out on a great opporlunity for some built in tension by raising this problem and then solving it for us on the same page. It could have been used for something different...

This was one of the terrific Spock stories in First Time 45, making it one of the most memorable zines in a long time. I really hope Andi is busy writing her third story, and that we won't have to wait so long between stories to see it in print!

I can remember when writing the story of a gradually developing K/S relationship seemed like the Holy Grail of K/S fan fiction. It seemed that almost no one, including some incredibly talented authors, could bring the pair together as lovers without jump-starting the relationship in some way. Andi LeNor makes it seem easy. This was a lovely, believable story of gradually awakening desire, and it certainly deserved the Philon Award it received.

In addition to all the other great things about this story that other readers have mentioned, I wanted to mention the scene on pp. 20-22 in which Kirk first calls Spock Thy'la." I like the fact that the word slipped out--he had just come from almost losing Spock and had to have been deeply shaken by the experience- suggesting that he'd been thinking of Spock that way for quite a while. And I absolutely loved the concept of Kirk's using the "older pronunciation" with its specialized meaning. I appreciate it greatly when Kirk goes to the trouble of learning Vulcan, and the fact that he would know the older meaning and pronunciation-well, that makes me appreciate it even more, and I grateful when an author shows me a Kirk who would do this.

Obviously, there's a long story behind Kirk's use of the term. After Kirk lets the word slip, he tells Spock about the conversation he had with T'Pau after Spock's aborted pon farr. Kirk's account of it to Spock is certainly tantalizing, and I wanted to know more. Something about learning in this scene about the conversation with T'Pau, which must have happened some time ago, was vaguely unsatisfying. I think the purpose of this scene was to show Spock's reaction to learning that Kirk was prepared to be his partner in pon farr. The focus was on Spock's thoughts and feelings and most, though not all, of the scene is written from Spock's point of view. I found myself wanting to hear more, not only about Kirk's discussion with T'Pau, but all the thoughts and feelings he must have had about what he learned. I think this would have to have been done, if not in a scene written entirely from Kirk's point of view, at least in a scene where the focus was more clearly on Kirk and his feelings about Spock. The discussion must have had an incredible effect on Kirk. I wonder if he tried to learn more about the older meaning of t'hy'la, and if so how .... I would have liked to read more about how Kirk felt about what TPau told him. But most of all, I wanted to know more about this episode, period.

I got a great deal of enjoyment out of reading this story. Although I can say objectively that I believe the plot lacks a cohesive structure, I have to admit that cohesive structure is pretty far down my wish list of what I look for in a K/S story.

For me, characterization is paramount—no pun intended. This author writes dialogue with great sensitivity, and while I don't share her vision of the characters one hundred percent (I won't go on again about my pet peeve of Kirk going to prostitutes), I did get a great deal of satisfaction from the portrayals in this work.

Second on my K/S Wish List is good writing. Ms. Lenor writes lovely prose, again sensitive and subtle and most satisfying.

Most of all, the K/S relationship feels true and deep and natural. And the sex—oh, the sex! Yum, yum, yum. Spock watching Kirk masturbate by the pool was incredible. And I absolutely loved the little touch of Spock's alien physiology here, that prevents him from finding his own release. The scene that follows, Kirk's brotherly teasing in the bathroom, was a delight.

Other things I really liked include the imagery of rain, the chess game between Spock and Uhura, and did I mention the sex scenes?

It occurs to me that while the external events of “When Rain Comes” seem to follow no specific course toward resolution, the real story is a kind of emotional layer-by-layer revelation, to both the reader and the characters.

In that respect, I would have to say that When Rain Comes is rather successful as a short story after all—as well as being very satisfying to me, personally. Thank you to the author.

Hi, This is my first LOC (It took me a bit to figure out what it stood for!!) But it was prompted by the words of Charlotte Frost in Decembers KSP. So Here goes.... OK. First off I really love this story, it has all the things I like best in K/S. I like Spock when he is portrayed as a real innocent, and the reason of his recent maturity makes this scenario believable. I also like the element of obsession in this, how Spock becomes sort of fascinated by the incidents he accidentally witnessed, I can really see this element in Spock (it’s part of what makes him a good scientist too.)

Although I never pay as much attention to the characterisation of Kirk as I do to that of Spock I love his conversation with Sandra about Spock. (Kirk: “he’s my First officer”. Sandra: "Does he Know?") See, even a touch of humour to add to the delightful mix! I tend to like stories like this where they are very much in love before telling each other. The sex scene is nice and long and even better for the long build up throughout the story.

Hey it’s not just a love story either it’s got adventure and a plot!! This story has all the elements I like: it has tension, angst, adventure and it’s a very sexy story. Basically Thank you very much to Andi for this story.

Wow. This is one of these authors who could write a telephone book and I'd buy it, gladly. FT 45 had somehow disappeared in my drawer, and when it resurfaced, I somehow had forgotten just why it was marked with four Christine-read-again stars. So, I should have been warned not to start reading at midnight, knowing I had to get up early the next morning. But how should I have known I had to stop reading twice a page to catch my breath?

I love a good story, but far more important is good writing. The writing here is excellent. I'm afraid I cant quote the whole zine in this place, but listen to this: (Kirk is injured severely, Spock wants to try a risky mind meld to help him) "Goddamn it, Spock, I cant risk the both of you. Where's the sense in that?" McCoy gestured in exasperation. "You're not being logical! And if you've finally decided to admit you really do have a heart, you picked a fine time to—" "Leonard!" Frustrated, Spock's hand shot out to grab McCoy's wrist and just as quickly let it go. He knew he was on the verge of losing control again, but it didnt seem to matter anymore. The rest of his life hardly mattered without Jim. Holding the doctor's startled gaze, he ground out in a low, intense voice, "He...is...my...heart."

Ahhhh...

I was recently thinking of Andi LeNor's story, "When Rain Comes", a Philon first place award winner. Like just about everybody else, I love this story and I think it's really, really effective, but the interesting thing to me is that it deals almost entirely in cliches! What I mean is that the structure and the events of the story are not unique. The events that take place in the story all have taken place in many, many K/S stories before. But...the author presents them in a very sincere manner, if I can use that word, so that we really feel as if we understand the Kirk and Spock who are presented, we're inside their heads, so that it all feels very real and very serious to us. I really like the scene on the bridge when Kirk is hurt, but maybe even better is the scene in the restaurant where Kirk is talking to the female family friend and he sees Spock walk in. Again, that's a cliche, Kirk admitting how he feels to a third party (although at least she isn't a stranger), but it works. This entire story is a great argument to any writer who complains "it's all been written before." Or "I can't use that plotline, so-and-so used it in First Time 23!" Not true! We all bring different perceptions to the stories we write, we all can do something new. As Andi so beautifully does in "When Rain Comes".

My barely functioning memory recalls many comments about this story when it was first published. So why, when I began looking for something new in my many unread zines, was I surprised to find I have never read it? I was in the mood for a first time, and the logical place to find it is First Time. After reading only a short while I must say how glad I was to have found this story! It takes advantage of many TOS episodes to bring us to the point where Kirk and Spock have each admitted inwardly their attraction to the other, but neither has acknowledged it outwardly. This doesn’t seem unlikely to me, given their personalities and their responsibilities and what I have always seen as Spock’s insecurity regarding personal relationships. Neither is willing to risk everything to expand upon their feelings. And yet, subtle little touches and revealing words are fanning the torch of their love – when tragedy strikes.

There is so much emotion packed into these pages, but none more revealing than the scene on the bridge after Kirk is gravely injured and Spock cradles him in his arms. Words that were impossible to say in days gone by are whispered now in a desperate attempt to speak of their love before the chance is taken from them forever. It matters not at all that the bridge crew is witness. Nothing matters to them but each other. Spock is shown here as the decisive commander he can be when the need arises. He is also portrayed as very caring and completely and irrevocably in love with his captain. Saving Kirk is imperative at any cost, even though that cost may be his own life.

If you ever need your belief in the K/S phenomenon restored, “When Rain Comes” is guaranteed to provide the lift you need.

Soft and sweet like a summer rain, this story shows Spock's growing fascination for his captain, just as he is being pressured to go back to Vulcan to take a mate. Wonderful exploration of the two men's dawning awareness of their feelings. Their coming together feels like it was fated since the beginning of times and their rapport is beautiful, easy and comfortable like a warm cocoon. The tension from their undeclared and unacknowledged feelings culminates in a powerful and heart-wrenching scene on the bridge when Jim lay dying in Spock's arms. An absolute winner.