What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex

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Title: What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex
Creator: Tyellas
Date(s): 1 March 2002
Medium: online
Fandom: The Silmarillion, The Lord of the Rings
Topic: sexuality, elves
External Links: www.ansereg.com/what_tolkien_officially_said_abo.htm
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What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex is an essay in the Tolkien fandom by Tyellas, written in 2002 and published on the author's site, Ansereg. It is a serious compilation of J.R.R. Tolkien's writings on the subject from 'Laws and Customs of the Eldar' (LACE), other parts of the History of Middle-Earth (HoME) series, The Lord of the Rings and elsewhere. The author summary is Really! A nonfiction piece with references. It is rated PG.

Tyellas describes it as my factual yet light piece,[1] and writes:

..."Sexifying Tolkien? Isn't that disgusting and disrespectful?" Well - maybe. One nonfiction piece I wrote, What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex, has been a fascinating barometer of fan interest in what the Good Professor did have to say on the subject. Some people have read Elf Sex and seen it as an inspiration for slash stories, or het stories, and other people have seen it as a manifesto against exactly that kind of story. The tremendous interest led to me writing a second essay on the subject, Warm Beds are Good.[2]

What kind of loser would spend all that time to put together "What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex?"

Somebody who had a spare hour and who thought "Teleporno" was pretty funny. That's how long the first draft took, an hour. It's been expanded here and there as time went on, and it still gets a fair amount of web traffic.[3]

Summary

  • Although elves enjoy sex, they are predominantly sexually active before having children
  • Marriage between elves is lifelong; casual sex is not canonical
  • Elves celebrate their begetting day rather than their birthday
  • Quenyan words for sex & genitalia were invented by Tolkien
  • Pregnancy lasts a year, adulthood is attained at 50 years, and elves usually marry at 50–100 years, although many named elves married much later
  • Rape is rare and results in the victim's death; Celebrían might be an exception
  • Incest is taboo, and includes cousins
  • Hair & voice are turn ons
  • Homosexuality is not mentioned by Tolkien

Excerpt

"All the Eldar had beautiful hair (and were especially attracted by hair of exceptional loveliness)." (The Shibboleth of Fëanor, The Peoples of Middle-Earth, HME) An odd little throwaway, remarkable because it's one of our only hints about what turns elves on. Beautiful voices are also implied to be attractive. The most ravishing elf ever, Lúthien, used enchantment to grow her hair extremely long. This may have been the elves' erotic equivalent of being able to tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue.

Recommendations, Reviews & Related Works

The essay has been widely linked and quoted, including outside Tolkien fandom. It is recommended by Marnie,[4] askmiddlearth,[5] ozymandias271[6] and others. It was translated into German by Earron.

I found a fantastic article on Ansereg (which I’m adding to my Links page immediately, great site) by Tyellas that covers all sorts of fascinating topics relating to elves and sex, I highly recommend reading it in full! (askmiddlearth)[5]
The interested reader should consult What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex, the most extensive guide to elf sexuality I’m aware of. (ozymandias271)[6]

References

  1. Ansereg: Warm Beds are Good: Sex and Libido in Tolkien's Writing (accessed 21 June 2016)
  2. Ansereg: About This Web Site (accessed 21 June 2016)
  3. Ansereg: Infrequently Asked Questions About This Site (accessed 21 June 2016)
  4. Silver Tree: Portrait of an Elf Lord (accessed 21 June 2016)
  5. 5.0 5.1 askmiddlearth: Elves, Sex, and Gender (accessed 21 June 2016)
  6. 6.0 6.1 any thoughts on elf sexuality (accessed 21 June 2016)