The Sith Academy

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Name: Welcome to the Sith Academy, a.k.a. The Sith Academy
Dates: July 1999 - December 2001
Type: Fanfiction, humor
Fandom: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
splash screen entrance to the Sith Academy website. The warning reads: The management accepts no responsibility for physical injuries resulting from careless and indiscriminate use of the Sith Academy, nor for career problems caused by reading the Sith Academy at work. Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not touch Propecia, but they may read the Sith Academy, although the management disclaims all responsibility for any premature labor that may result."
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The Sith Academy was a shared universe parodying Star Wars: The Phantom Menace character Darth Maul and modern life as he is trained as a Sith warrior through ordinary day-today activities designed to frustrate and enrage him. The series quickly turned to slash by pairing Darth Maul with a young, and sometimes petulant, love struck Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The series was created by Siubhan and eventually spanned over 200 stories with contributions of fan fiction and art from dozens of fans.[1] Other fan creations followed including tshirts, haikus, a Drinking Game, and Tarot cards. The series had an editorial policy giving the body of work a more cohesive feel. Fans also ran a mailing list (sithacademy-talk) devoted to the series.

According to one reviewer:

While the first several stories focused on similar plotlines of Darth Maul's simple frustration (usually by being ordered to do something humiliating by Darth Sidious in order to "home his rage and hatred") leading to rising fury and finally a cathartic explosion, a milestone in the [Sith Academy] stories, "Life Lessons at the Sith Academy, Part VI" (#29), marked a drastic change in [Sith Academy] canon with the line "Oh shit, he'd slept with Obi-Wan Kenobi." In writing this line, Siubhan "thought people would get a laugh out of it and move on," but the idea of Padawan and Sith Apprentice slash fiction was appealing enough to her fandom that a total of nineteen "Adult" rated fanfics were submitted to the site in pursuit of this idea, not to mention the less explicit but certainly slashy writings available in the site's general-viewing area. Not all readers appreciated this shift in tone, as was soon revealed in disappointed e-mails to Siubhan, but she decided to accept a narrower audience base in order to avoid censoring the site. [2]

Examples of Some of the Story Themes

  • Life Lessons at the Sith Academy (or Take That). This first story was written to vent Siubhan's frustration over a driving test. Later targets included air travel, the National Rifle Association, an IRS audit, IKEA stores, and Martha Stewart.
  • Life Lessons at the Sith Academy, Part II, by Siubhan - Darth Maul takes a series of menial jobs
  • Distance Learning, by the Intrepid Housemate MelissaTM - Darth Maul does Tech Support
  • The Shopping Maul, by Joan the English Chick - Darth Maul buys groceries
  • Life Lessons at the Sith Academy, Part IV, by Siubhan - Darth Maul at the laundromat
The first posted Sith Academy illustration by Maya, the Mad Mabolica. She writes: "I drew it on a whim, incorporating several literary motifs from the stories and asked [Siubhan] if she would consider an art gallery. She said yes, and I guess that makes me the original Sith Academy illustrator."
linking banner, seen at Jedi Discipline
linking banner, seen at Lelia's Fan Fiction Archive


Excerpt from "Take That":

"A true Sith lets his hate flow through him at all times. Exploit the fear of your opponents, and you shall be able to achieve anything."

"Yes, my Master."

"Good, now put your foot on the brake and shift out of park."

Darth Maul obediently did as his Master instructed, and the little hovercraft with the "Student Driver" labels eased into the Coruscant skies.

"Keep an eye on your rear-view mirror," Sidious chided.

"Yes, my Master."

"I want you to ease into that lane of traffic there. Nice and gentle."

"Gentle? But you said..."

"All things in time, my young apprentice. A Sith knows when to wait and when to strike.

"Yes, my Master."

"Okay now, I want you to use the Force to reach out and assess your fellow drivers. Any weaknesses?"

"The old lady in the Edsel."

"Good. How do you feel about her?"

"She's driving too slow in a no-passing zone and she's pissing me off."

"Very good. Let your hate flow through you, wait for a tiny opening in traffic, then pass her illegally and flip her off."

"Shall I lay on the horn, my Master?"

"An excellent suggestion, my apprentice. Yes, honk at her most aggressively."

From an Interview

In 1999, Siubhan gave an interview to the Darth Maul Estrogen Brigade explaining the origins of the Sith Academy:

Q: Where did the idea for The Sith Academy come from? S: A heat-wave. The air conditioning broke at work, and I was probably mildly delirious. As I sat in the company cafeteria, watching the cars whiz by on the highway, I came up with the idea for the first story. I was amused enough by it that I wrote the second one the next day, then the third right after that. I didn't think anything of it. Then a couple other people wrote Sith Academy stories. 151 stories later... I didn't plan this. It just happened. [3]

Reactions and Reviews

Most Star Wars: The Phantom Menace fic is fairly serious, what with the canonical death of the main character and all. But at the Sith Academy, you'll laugh yourself to the point of internal rupture. Meet Darth Sidious, Dark Transvestite of the Sith; see Darth Maul sitting around playing Playstation in his "Sith Lords Kick Ass" t-shirt; hear Yoda say, "know I do when cut weed is" and watch him moonlighting at Wal-Mart; watch in horror as Obi-Wan's hamster, Fluffi-Wan, turns to the Dark Side of the Force... Make sure you aren't drinking anything while you read. [4]

Who, in the TPM fandom, *doesn't* know about this place!? If you weren't familiar with it, or were just starting to read TPM fics (slash or not, doesn't matter), run, don't walk, to the site now! Immediately! ::waves force suggestions in your face:: Hm? Still here? Darn it, the mind whammy didn't work. ::coughs:: Simply put, the archive houses a series of life stories about "A sith, his master, the enemy and his little twit apprentice, and a bunch of menial crap." That's more than 200 stories (181 of which are canon and in chronological order), cool art galleries, and other fun stuff. And yes, majority of the stories are meant to be hysterically funny. *DO* read the warnings on the Sith Academy entrance page, warnings which you absolutely must heed at all times should you wish to survive your reading experience there (read: absolutely no drinking or eating while reading the Sith Academy fics). No restriction on pairings. Everyone's f**king everyone here. Well, almost. ^_^;;[5]


Not a story, but an entire archive of related stories: if you haven't visited the Sith Academy, you're missing out. Based (lightly) on Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, they're a safe and fun read even for those of us who haven't seen the movie. Funny and silly without being stupid, they contain years worth of siggable material. Read the basic ones that establish the "canon", once you've read enough of the stories to get a feel for them, be sure to read the equally funny A Critical Introduction. Don't miss the newest one, Requiem for Mr. Fluffy by Rachael Sabotini. [6]

When I first decided to build a rec for this crazy little universe, I was hard pressed to decide exactly which story I should choose. They're all so interwoven into one another that, really, it was nearly an impossible choice. After some deliberation, most of it spent rereading, I decided to throw caution to the wind and recommend the entire darn thing because it's just that fun.

Created by Siubhan and helped along by a large list of authors, artists and fans, The Sith Academy is a hilarious universe centered around the life and times of Darth Maul, who goes through everything from driving lessons with his master to, eventually, the events of 'The Phantom Menace'. Written in a way to keep readers laughing and involved, every story in the series is another piece to the fun house and has some surprisingly serious moments. Even with the characters being outlandish (in a good way), TSA is a perfect escape for those of you who don't mind a little insanity with your fan fiction.

The Sith Academy - once past the welcome page, there is an option to read the stories in chronological order. I highly suggest you click that option if you're a first time reader. [7]

I know I’ve talked about this before but the best thing to come out of the star wars prequels was the Sith Academy fanfiction site

it was a shared AU on its own website that had multiple authors contributing stories, which was a lot of fun

this is from having read this site a decade ago so I might be misremembering but here’s what I recall:

darth maul is the protagonist and he lives in a shitty apartment on Coruscant and his next door neighbors are qui gon and obi wan, they got kicked out of living at the jedi temple because qui gon is too much of a stoner but mace windu comes over and smokes with him anyway (I think they were fuck buddies too? I’m not sure)

palpatine is flabouyant and unreliable and gives darth maul dumb stuff to do all the time, also he’s obi wan’s dad? obi wan had a twin brother, and also older sister (who always felt like a self-insert of some of the authors, she was in her 30s and was always the one who had her shit together)

also darth maul has a cat named My Apprentice who’s force sensitive and she always makes him give her more food, I think they called it “mind whammy-ing”, and his apartment was so dirty that his old pizza becomes sentient and fight with the cat

it starts off with fluff fics like darth maul learning to drive, or going to disneyland, but it got really dark and serious after a while, and darth maul and obi wan are sorta dating? obi wan turns out to be a recovered drug addict (trainspotting images were photoshopped beyond belief)

there was some light slash in the beginning but it gets hot and heavy as the stories went alongthere was a TON of morrissey lyrics at the start of the fics

the website is like 17 years old but it’s still online please check this shit out [8]

External Links


  1. ^ The first four stories were written by Siubhan. According to one reviewer: "The fourth SA fanfic, "Sith Academy--the foul apartment lesson" (by Katherine the Art Chick) marked the involvement of outside authors in the SA, and by then the ball was rolling..." The Sith Academy at, accessed October 7, 2011
  2. ^ The Sith Academy at, accessed October 7, 2011.
  3. ^ The Darth Maul Estrogen Brigade Interview with Siubhan, December, 18th 1999, accessed October 7, 2011.
  4. ^ Your Mileage May Vary: Recs, via Wayback: 2001. (Accessed 10 April 2015)
  5. ^ "chiaroscuro v6 – T.O.T.O. (The Obi-Wan Torture Oasis)". 2005-03-31. Archived from the original on 2013-06-20.
  6. ^ Sandy Herrold. All Jewels Have Flaws: Older recs: 1999 and before. (Accessed 24 April 2015)
  7. ^ rec by slyprentice at Epic Recs, July 12, 2009
  8. ^ some phantom menace fandom history for y'all, March 2016