Off the Wall

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You may be looking for Up Against the Wall, a Professionals zine.

Title: Off the Wall
Publisher: FireTrine Press
Editor(s): Jean Hinson
Date(s): 1991-1993
Medium: print zine
Fandom: Star Trek: TOS
Language: English
External Links:
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Off the Wall is a K/S slash and gen Star Trek: TOS zine with the subtitle, "A Mixed-Rating Star Trek Satire Anthology." There are two issues.

From Submission Requests and Ads

"Star Trek, gen to K/S; comedy, satire, cartoons, graffiti. If it's funny, and it's Trek, we want it!" [1]

"A mixed rating series based on comedy and satire (NOT parody) in the Star Trek genre. It contains both gen and x-rated material (and everything in between) and requires an age statement." [2]

Issue 1

cover of issue #1

Off the Wall was published 1991 and has 180 pages. It features art by La Vena Kay Kidd.

  • Late One Night by Martha Eddy
  • Pon Farr, Again? by C.E. Roush, illustrated by La Vena Kidd (Thereʼs an unfortunate complication after Kirk helps Spock through pon farr.)
  • Half the Fun by Gena Moretti & Roberta (Part of the landing party left behind when the Enterprise is called away on an emergency mission, Kirk and Spock must improvise on the their first time together.)
  • A Brief Incident by Martha Eddy
  • Return of the Psi Syndrome by Robert Byther
  • The Ultimate Trekkie by C.E. Roush
  • The Director by T'Rhys (Kirk attempts to film him and Spock having sex.)
  • Nothing Compares to You by J.C. M.
  • The Enterprise and the Big Blue Box by Stephanie Spellman (crossover with Doctor Who)
  • Deals in the Night by A.T. Bush (While staying with Sarek and Amanda on Vulcan, Kirk and Spock get a nighttime visitor.)
  • The Pixel Plague by C.E. Roush et al, illustrated by La Vena Kidd
  • The Taming of the Cat, poem by Jane Elza

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

[zine]: It was with great deal of trepidation that I ordered this zine since I have been disappointed in the past of most Trek humor zines. This one, however, is different; there is no parody (I hate parody). SOme stories are better with others, as with other zines, but the general level of quality is high. The rating is mixed, ranging from gen to slash, so there's something for everybody here, and the ratings are noted on the contents page. What a neat idea. Among the stories I enjoyed the most are a couple of vignettes by Martha Eddy. 'Late One Night' has a cute twist zine readers will enjoy, and 'A Brief Incident' both employ Uhura's point of view to advantage. Betsy Fisher's poetry, though a tad blue, is delightfully funny, and there are a couple of brief bits by T'Rhys whose only fault is that they were not longer. 'The Enterprise and the Big Blue Box' is a Doctor Who/Trek crossover, mildly amusing, as is 'Half the Fun,' where in Kirk and Spock get together on a landing party assignment with humorous results. 'Deals in the Night' isn't' up to her usual quality, but it was okay for a PWP. 'Pon Farr Again?' has a wildly unlikely ending, but then I got the feeling none of it was intended to be taken seriously anyway. And the illos by Kidd are cute. 'The Ultimate Trekkie' has a delightful plot about first contact with an alien species. 'The longest, and possibly the best, story is 'The Pixel Plague' and includes a fold-out in the end. The Enterprise is thrown into chaos by an encounter with Harry Mudd, who is up to his old tricks. This time he hides a stolen computer program in the Enterprise's library computer banks. It is activated by use of any computer terminal and from there the situation deteriorates rapidly and hysterically as the computer conjures various holograms from 20th century classic movies. This one is not to be missed. Trust me. [3]

Issue 2

Off The Wall Too was published 1993 and has 164 pages. It features art by La Vena Kay Kidd.

cover of issue #2, artist is La Vena Kay Kidd
  • Editorial
  • An Elf Tale #1 by Sister Grimm (AU: Along side the lake on his familyʼs farm, a fifteen-year old Kirk meets an elf.) (1)
    • Deportment by Amy (5)
  • Devonshire Cream by La Vena Kidd (6)
    • Bordello by Mildred Manhill (23)
  • An Elf Tale #2 by Sister Grimm (At the Academy, Spock makes sure Kirk gets a room to himself.) (24)
  • The Sock Strikes Back by T'Rhys (Kirk and Spock both suffer from the same problem after making love during a planet survey.) (30)
    • Satin Sheets by Mildred Manhill (Kirkʼs new purchase is causing problems in his and Spockʼs love life.) (34)
  • Quivertia by Vixen Foxx (While on the planet, Quivertia, to offer protection from the Klingons, the Enterprise crew is exposed to the planetʼs main export—an aphrodisiac in the form of flower pollen. Crossover with Doctor Who) (37)
  • An Elf Tale #3 by Sister Grimm (Kirk tries to raise money in order to get them to Vulcan before Spockʼs pon farr.) (50)
  • That Damned Cat! by Gena Moretti (Uhura inexplicably purchases a cat for the Enterprise but the animal has its own ideas when it comes to where it lives on the ship.) (55)
  • An Elf Tale #4 by Sister Grimm (Kirk and Spock get to Vulcan just as Spock is entering pon farr.) (76)
    • cartoon by Betsy Fisher (83)
  • An Alternate Version: The Search for Spock by Ruth Kwitko Lym (84)
    • Limerick Contest [Winner] by Antonia Stampfel (88)
  • The Space Port Incident by Sheila Schneider (89)
    • Bored to Death by Betsy Fisher (99)
  • An Elf Tale: Epilogue by Sister Grimm (100)
  • Day Before Yesterday's Enterprise by A.V. Wilde (Caught in a continuum warp, the crews of NCC 1701 and NCC 1701-D meet unexpectedly. The rest is almost history, as both crews work on the problem of two Enterprises in one slightly altered universe... crossover with Star Trek: TNG) (102)
  • Nuts and Bolts by Jean Hinson

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

[The Day Before Yesterday Enterprise]: I got a little lost in this story, which throws in a perspective from one of Guinian's "people" from out of nowhere and with no explanation. However, things cleared up at the end and it made a nice ending. If one just skips those parts, the story is an amusing clash of new gen and classic trek, with a side order of "reality." [4]

[That Damn Cat]: Here's another light-hearted look at a cat aboard the Enterprise by fandom's acknowledged expert on the subject. Unlike, Pan, this cat's abilities are more annoying than helpful and it is fun watching K and S deal with her. [5]


  1. ^ submission request in The LOC Connection #22
  2. ^ from an ad in Media Monitor
  3. ^ from The Zine Connection #18
  4. ^ from Come Together #5
  5. ^ from Come Together #5