Fear, Communication, Love

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Title:	Fear, Communication, Love
Creator:	Fialka
Date(s):	January 2000
Medium:	online
Fandom:	The X-Files
Topic:
External Links:	Fear, Communication, Love - Fialka, Archived version
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Fear, Communication, Love is by Fialka.

It was part of a series. The author comments that: "Many of these essays first appeared as discussions on OBSSE, Scullyfic and/or ATXA."

The essay was first posted to The Annotated X-Files Study Guide and is at Fialka's Candybox.

Later, it was reposted:

Sadly, when the old NBCI server went the way of so many really cool, free things on the net, I never could find another free site with enough space to house the whole Study Guide, and it didn't get enough traffic to warrant paying for 250mb on a server somewhere. Not to mention, I no longer have as much time on my hands as I did back then, so like the UFOs...well, it is another UFO. Some of it still appears to be here, if you can wade your way through all the advertising on FortuneCity. I sure won't be insulted if you don't. These essays are from the original site, and appear here unchanged. Unlinked titles got abducted by aliens somewhere along the way. If you find them wandering dazed by the side of the road, could you be so kind as to send them home?

Author's Notes

"This essay is adapted from my response to several ongoing discussions on OBSSE, one of which was the rumoured casting of Gillian Anderson as Clarice Starling. Many thanks to all those who contributed the ideas that sparked it."

Excerpts

Irresistible and Fear: I've always assumed I suffered from Milagro Syndrome* in regard to this episode. (* MS is what happens when you've heard far too much about an ep and it takes far too long to see it, thus exponentially multiplying expectation to a point where nothing can live up to it. Usually treated by a second viewing, at which point expectation has returned to normal levels and the episode can be assessed more objectively, and generally with more appreciation. ) I'd always put it somewhat in the 'Emily' camp as a good idea badly executed, though of course GA is terrific in it. <Bless me Autumn, for I have sinned> But I was glad to hear there are others on the list of the same opinion.

My problem with Irrestistible isn't Scully's level of fear, just that the story as aired doesn't seem to support it. While I wouldn't agree that a desire to face her fears led her into the FBI, obviously the fear of being wounded or killed in the line of duty didn't prevent her from joining. Remember though, she was recruited as a teaching pathologist, not a field agent, so she was assuming a different level of danger than what she wound up with on the X-Files. She's cocky as hell in one sense on those first cases, but she's also VERY scared when confronted with real danger, pulling her gun at the slightest threat. The Pilot shows us a rookie on her first field assignment, and Squeeze shows her practically shaking, shifting her stance nervously as she waits for whatever is in the vent to show itself. This may be less a fear for her personal safety, than the fear of actually having to use that gun. It's quite a different thing to contemplate shooting a person than shooting a target and this is the girl who cried because she took part in killing a snake (One Breath). By the time Lazarus rolls around though, she's come to terms with the possibility both of having to kill or of being killed on the job, and this shows in still, calm way she simply pulls the trigger on Dupre after he's shot Willis. Unafraid? No, she's just more experienced in dealing with it. More pragmatic.

Never Again brings up an issue that M&S have never been able to resolve - on what level do they owe each other the truth about how they feel - about life, themselves, each other? At that point, and really until Scully was about to die of cancer, they didn't have a verbal language in which to say I need you, I love you, though occasionally they were able to express that in gestures. OBSSE's slogan - if I can save you, let me - is Scully's first verbal declaration of her love for Mulder. And it takes five years and her imminent death to get it out of her. And after that, anything could happen. They have the words now, elliptical though they are, and they are able to express themselves beautifully to each other in certain moments - as long as they don't try to do it directly. It's a rule as hard and fast and even more unbreakable than the rule that says they must never call each other by their first names. Break it and you get 'oh brother'. It's a harder, but more intense form of communication. It requires connection, imagination. It requires them to continue to think up new ways to describe the bush. And I wouldn't want it any other way.