Artemis's Lover

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Fanfiction
Title: Artemis's Lover
Author(s): Oscar
Date(s): 1997
Length: 2,158 words
Genre: badfic/lemon/self-insert
Fandom: Sailor Moon, Crossover
External Links: The fic in its entirety

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Artemis's Lover is an infamous Sailor Moon badfic that features the author's self-insert character in a relationship with Artemis the cat. At one time the prime example of what all badfic could aspire to for its depictions of bestiality, underage sex, strange plot, and poor writing quality.

Summary

A 13-year-old "hermaphrodite" named Oscar falls madly in love with Artemis the cat, writes him a letter, and later rescues him from a gang of vicious alley cats. This leads to a love confession, boy-on-cat sex, and a long-term relationship.

There are several sequels, many in which Artemis cheats on Oscar with crossover characters;first with Darkstalker's Felicia, then Fifi la Fume and Lola Bunny from the Looney Toons/Tiny Toons universe. There also exists a story in which Oscar is temporarily killed off, and introduces an equally squicky relationship between Luna and Usagi. Oscar was also Super Saiyan (à la Dragon Ball Z), showing off his powers in pretty much every story. In fact, "Artemis's Lover" is the only one on record not to mention this.

Impact and Legacy

"Artemis's Lover" is considered a badfic classic among Sailor Moon fans and fandom in general.[1] Even people who never got into the series know of the story's existence and brain-breaking badness, thanks to a variety of MSTings and dramatic readings across the web. During the late 90s and early 2000s, the fic was considered genuinely horrifying and scarring but also generated quite a bit of morbid curiosity due to the MSTings, with fans asking where they could find the un-edited version for the sheer train wreck value.[2] Not only was the premise disturbing, but Oscar's writing skill was just as atrocious, with poor spelling and grammar. Some of the dialogue and narrative became somewhat memetic among MSTers, even in other fandoms. For example, lines like "TIFA: He he he! I'll frogn at Cloud and he'll be all mine! Just so long as he doesn't *hcase* my *tennis*!"[3]

These days, while the story is still considered gross and brain-breaking, it's regarded with a certain affection by fandom olds who discovered the joys of badfic, MSTings, and Turkey Readings through the story of an overpowered Gary Stu and his love for an animated white cat.

Fan Comments

Part of it was probably that it was a poorly written self-insert that's very heavy on mary-sueism that cannot mesh with canon, has horrible grammar and spelling, and is a zoophile piece.[4]
"I find Artemis' Lover to be silly, whereas C-U is quite disturbing." -Chris Kern, when asked whether Artemis's Lover or ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday was the worse fic
Why is "Artemis's Lover" (both Oscar and his story) so infamous? Not only is the story objectionable based on the context (beastiality, which also is a fetish...), but the story is written in such a way as to make people sick! [5]
"I never really realized it before, but he's only two years younger than I a--Jesus fuck, he's the same age as my brother. Now there's somewhere I never wanted to go. Ah, Oscar. I'd say 'never change', but that would be a FILTHY LIE..." -sevendials [6]
Memories, sweet memories.

"I still remember reading Megane 6.7's MST and laughing arse off...in fact,I think I'll do that right now!

Oh Oscar,you rascally cat sexing hermaphrodite." -nova_bright
"You know what always puzzled me about that fic? I mean, besides the fact that it's that fic...why is it that when Oscar first "confesses" Artemis is all "no, we can't be together, we're different species!" but...after Oscar reveals he's a hermaphrodite...that somehow makes it okay?" -reipan

MSTings

Dramatic Readings

References

  1. ^ "Read Artemis's Lover/P.S. DO NOT READ Black Day". 
  2. ^ "(REQ) Artemis's lover". 
  3. ^ Final Fantasy 7 - Their First Time
  4. ^ Arturus Magi, in response to a newbie's question of why the fic is so hated.
  5. ^ Query: What is Artemis's Lover?
  6. ^ The tenth aniversary of CATxHERMAPHRODITE LOVE