A Slime Devil Songbook

Filk Songbook
Title:	A Slime Devil Songbook
Publisher:	Slime Devil Press
Editor(s):	Melissa James
Date(s):	1982-85
Medium:	print
Subject:	Star Trek
Language:	English
External Links:
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A Slime Devil Songbook is a filksong book published by The Slime Devils.

The filks themselves are written by a collaboration of fans called "The Slimes" (Denise Barkas, Regina De Simone, Melissa James, Grace R. Serio, Kathy Rouark, Cathy Dougherty) and/or separate "Slimes."

front cover of the first issue

the filk credits from the first issue

There are two issues.

The title of this filksong collection comes from the show: a Denebian Slime Devil is a foul animal from the Deneb system in Star Trek.

Issue 1

The Slime Devil Songbook was written in July 1982 and contains 38 pages.

Issue 1: From the Editorial

Welcome to the Slime Devil Songbook. Within these gaudy and overdone pages are some thirty-odd filksongs perpetrated by the Slimes - we make up the lyrics and "borrow" the music.

Historically, the first "Slimesong" was written in the Mercy High School Cafeteria in Baltimore to the tune of "Jean", - "Kirk, Kirk, your blood is red, and Mr. Spock's blood is green..." (We never said it was good, just first.) Kathy tells me the song was completed, but it is now probably lost to the ages - we hope.

Then, when Denise and I saw a parody in Rigel, we figured - hey, why not? so "Beaming Down" and "Don't Mess Around" got written, and, joy of joys, published. As songs began to pile up the idea of a songbook was mentioned, but we didn't take it seriously. Then, somewhat hesitantly, we were blackmailed talked into singing at Shore Leave II. When a member of the audience literally fell on the floor laughing during the performance, we knew we were a hit. Someone even suggested that we make an album. This we declined for two reasons: 1) We stole all the tunes,and 2) we all sing off-key. (On purpose, right?)

All of the Slimes have worked on one song or another - usually in two's. Song's have been written in kitchens, public restrooms, bedrooms, parking lots, schools picnic benches, cars before movies, during movies, after movies - you name it. You may have noticed that a certain character has five songs written about him - two liking and three not liking him. This is known as being fickle. Well, maybe by the next movie the score will even out.

We hope you have as much fun reading and singing through this as we do writing such nonsense.

Issue 1: Contents

• Alma Mater -- "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters (4)
• Amok Spock -- "Delta Dawn" by Helen Reddy, from the episode "Amok Time" (5)
• Another Con -- "America" by Neil Diamond (6)
• Battle Hymn of Exalbia -- "Battle Hymn of the Republic," from the episode "Savage Curtain" (7)
• Beaming Down is Hard to Do -- "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" (also in Slimes in the Hood) (8)
• Ben -- "Ben" by The Jackson Five and Michael Jackson (Star Wars)(9)
• B'Nzo -- "Bingo" ("pronounced "Bonzo." Based on the sketch "This is Your Life, Mr. Spock" by John Olson") (10)
• Bridge Song -- "59th Street Bridge Song" (11)
• I'm a Trekker -- "The Dr. Pepper ad" (11)
• Canticle/Nivar -- "Scarborough Fair/Cantile" (12)
• The Doctor -- "The Boxer" by Paul Simon (13)
• Don't Give Up On Us, Scotty -- "Don't Give Up on Us, Baby," from the episode "The Apple" (With fond memories of David Soul before he became an actor.") (14)
• Down in Engineering -- "Down in the Boondocks" (15)
• The Force (Star Wars) -- "High Hopes" (16)
• Fun, Fun, Fun -- "Fun, Fun, Fun" by the Beach Boys, from the episode "Squire of Gothos" (17)
• Hello, Star Trek -- "Hello Dolly," based on the "ST-TMP" production hype (18)
• He's Always the Captain -- "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel (19)
• Incident -- "Witch Doctor," from the episode "The Enterprise Incident" (20)
• Nichelle Nichol's Song -- "What About Me" (20)
• In the Starfleet (title on filk, "In the Star Fleet" is the title in the table of contents) -- "In the Navy" by The Village People (21)
• Jack the Knife -- "Mack the Knife," from the episode "Wolf in the Fold" (22)
• Jedi Life -- "I Don't Want No More of Army Life" (Star Wars) (23)
• Kirk's Lament -- "Five Hundred Miles," from the episode "The Tholian Web" (24)
• Mirror, Mirror -- "Sunrise, Sunset," from the episode "Mirror, Mirror" (25)
• Norman -- "Norman," from the episode "I, Mudd" (26)
• Reincarnation, Reflection and Comment on ST-TMP II - TWoK -- "Reincarnation" by Roger Miller (27)
• Sail by the Stars -- "Swing On a Star" (28)
• Shore Leave --"On Broadway" (29)
• Spock the Half-Breed Vulcan -- "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" (30)
• The Twelve Days of Trek -- "The Twelve Days of Christmas" (31)
• We Wish You a Star Trek Christmas -- "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" (32)
• What a Difference a Plague Makes -- "What a Difference a Day Makes," from the animated episode "Albatross" (33)
• You Don't Mess Around With Kirk -- "You Don't Mess Around With Jim," by Jim Croce, from the episode "Errand of Mercy (34)
• You're So Cool -- "You're So Vain," by Carly Simon (35)
• Credits (36)

Issue 1: Sample Filk: "Reincarnation"

we love you, and i guess we always will

we are fen and we take a lot

but we thought your death was a real cheap shot.

'cause paramount wanted a lot of dough

but we never thought they'd stoop so low as

re-incarnation, re-incarnation

wouldn't it be pure profit -makin'

if spock comes back as a reincarnation.

we love you and i guess we always will

you were dead inside your box

but suppose you arose and stayed there until

kirk came back and dug you up

he looked inside and we all threw up

there's no re-incarnation, no re-incarnation

wouldn't it be a sick sensation

if there weren't no re-incarnation?

Issue 1: Sample Interior

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Issue 2

Slime After Slime is subtitled: "The Second Denebian Slime Devil Songbook." It was published in July 1985 and contains 41 pages. It is illustrated by Regina De Simone and Melissa James. The calligraphy is by Cathy Dougherty.

front cover of issue #2, Regina De Simone

Issue 2: From the editorial

Yes, it's finally here! After three years of threats promises, the second songbook is done. For those of you who have seen/heard us, we can tell you we'll probably put out a third, but don't hold your breath. For those of you haven't see/heard us, refer to the July 1, 1985 issue of People magazine in the article entitled "Queen of the Goonies": we're a cross between Morgan Fairchild and Gilda Radner, multiplied by six.

Things have improved for us since 1982. We no longer write filk in public bathrooms and school picnic benchs (we got tired of painting them). We've gotten more sophisticated. Now we write filk in private bathrooms and Burger Kings.

We hope you enjoy this second songbook. If you do, please write and let us know. We'd like to hear from you. (no death threats, please.)

Totally awesome, The Slimes,

Denise Barkas, Regina De Simone, Melissa James, Grace R. Serio, Kathy Rouark, Cathy Dougherty

Issue 2: Acknowledgements

• To Bev Volker and Nancy Kippax, for all the "basement" encouragement; we might never have gotten up enough nerve.
• To Marion McChesney, for her valiant selling efforts and xeroxing.
• To Tom Lehrer, for actually telling us we could use one of his songs. We kiss your feet, Tom.
• To all the fans at the filksings, who have given us their support, their laughter, and their applause. Without you, it wouldn't be as much fun!

Issue 2: Contents

• Along Came Jones by Denise Barkas (author) -- based on: "Along Came Jones" by Ray Stevens (tune suggested or parodied) ( Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark) (5)
• American Trek by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "American Pie" by Don MacLean (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (6)
• The Chekov Shuffle by The Slimes (author) -- based on: "The Curly Shuffle" (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (9)
• Come Back to the Bridge by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Cross Over the Bridge" by Patti Page (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (10)
• Darth Vader by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Harbor Lights" (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Wars) (11)
• Decker's Song, Shuttle Lights—based on "Harbor Lights" (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (12)
• Fans Just Wanna Have Fun by The Slimes (author) -- based on: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper (tune suggested or parodied) (general, with a Star Trek focus) (13)
• Gold and Blue by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Desert Moon" by Dennis De Young (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (15)
• Hey, V'Ger by Melissa James (author), Kathleen Rouark (author) -- based on: "Venus" by Ed Marshall (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (16)
• I'm Skywalker the Jedi I Am by Denise Barkas (author), Melissa James (author), Cathy Dougherty (author) -- based on: "I am Henry the Eighth, I Am" (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Wars) (17)
• I Want a Hero by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "I Want a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler (tune suggested or parodied) (general) (18)
• I Want a New Film by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis (tune suggested or parodied) (general) (19)
• K/S Love (title in the table of contents, "K/S" is used in the filk, but the title on the filk itself is "K-S Love") by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Baby Love" by Lamont Dozier and Brian Holland and Edward Jr. Holland (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (21)
• Let's Hang On by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Let's Hang On" by Frankie Valli (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (22)
• Let's Hear It for the Crew by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Let's Hear It for the Boys" by Denise Williams (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied) (23)
• The Longest Time by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (24)
• Maniac by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Maniac" (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied) (26)
• My Captain's Back by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "My Boyfriend's Back" (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (27)
• Puttin' on the Sith (Star Wars) (29)
• Shahna's Song by The Slimes (author) -- based on: "Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" by Lee Pockriss and Paul Vance (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (30)
• Space Is Our Battlefield by Denise Barkas (author) -- based on: "Love Is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied)
• Spockfinders by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Ghostbusters" by Ray Jr. Parker (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied) (32)
• Starfleet Command by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "New York, New York" (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied) (33)
• Steal the Ship by Denise Barkas (author) -- based on: "Stay the Night" (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied) (34)
• T'hy'la by Melissa James (author), Weston Scrimger (author) -- based on: "M-O-T-H-E-R" (Star Trek) (tune suggested or parodied) (35)
• Trek It by Melissa James (author) -- based on: "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (36)
• The Warriors by Denise Barkas (author) -- based on: "The Warrior" by Scandal (tune suggested or parodied) (Battlestar Galactica) (37)
• Wrath of Khan Rag by Weston Scrimger (author), Geraldine Sylvester (author) -- based on: "The Vatican Rag" by Tom Lehrer and Melissa James (tune suggested or parodied) (Star Trek) (38)

Issue 2: Sample Filk: "K/S/ Love"

from issue #2, "K/S Love"

Oooo-oo

K/S love, that K/S love

In all those 'zines, that K/S love

Our two heroes on R&R

See each other and go too far

It somehow strikes us wrong

That is why we sing this song

'Cause K/S love, that K/S love

Has plots I've seen a million of

Instead of warping out

Kirk and Spock are making out

All McCoy can do is pout

It makes me want to scream and shout

Don't need it, delete it (oooo, K/S love)

K/S love, that K/S love

Please make them separate for once

I've watched the show through and through

To women only Kirk is true

So why do him like they do

What is this need?

Want to see them be the best of friends

Not to see them embrace again

Don't throw our Trek away

By making Kirk and Spock go gay

David Marcus must've been a fluke —

Next they'll do it to Han and Luke!

K/S love, that K/S love

We're sick and tired of K/S love

This obsession may be a stage

But right now just turn the page

Guess what couple's all the rage? K/S, K/S, K/S!!

'Til it drives us nuts

'Til we make a fuss

Oooo K/S love

Don't throw our Trek, away

Don't throw our Trek away

Issue 2: Sample Interior

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