40 Ways...To Be A Slash Hero
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| Title: | 40 Ways...To Be A Slash Hero |
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40 Ways...To Be A Slash Hero is a 1998 fanwork by an unknown author.
It was printed in the 1998 Red Rose Convention program book.
The list is a tongue-in-cheek nod to late 1990s slash fiction and its many tropes. It could operate as a bingo card!
Similar Meta
The late 1990s, likely propelled by ever-increasing access to the internet, allowed fans across fandoms to communicated quickly with each other, making it easier to see patterns and tropes.
Increased visibility also aided in these sorts of meta offerings, as did the increasing number of fans that no longer were monofans, but were interested in a variety of fandoms.
Sometimes these lists and sites were humorous, fairly gentle, and created to poke fun at themselves. Others were serious and had an agenda to improve fandom and fanworks.
Some other similar examples:
- The Big List of Small Dogs (1999)
- The Big List of Fanfic Peeves (1999)
- Pet Peeves & small dogs (1999)
Links in the List
The links in the list lead to tropes, characters, and stories here on Fanlore. They are not links that were in the essay itself as it was in print form.
The links are used to illustrate examples and are subjective; they are opinion based, anecdotal, and very often a single link to only one of MANY possible examples.
The links were chosen in the spirit of the original list. These links are then 1) fanworks created in 1998 or before, 2) tropes, 3) entirely male character based.
The List
1. Be a policeman.
2. If you cannot be a policemen, you should have been a policeman at one time and forced to leave because of an injury gained heroically (the circumstances of which you are too humble to ever discuss) and/or a personal grudge held against you by your superiors.
3. If you cannot do this either, be a Federal Agent.
4. If you cannot be a policemen or a Federal Agent, you should be/have been in an elite squad of the Armed Forces.
5. Be sure to lose a family member and embark on a one-man campaign for justice.
6. Get transferred because of insubordination and/or resentful superiors.
7. Gain a reputation as a dedicated and difficult loner with no personal life.
8. Team up with an Unlikely Partner...
9. ...Who will save your life after knowing you scarcely a few hours.
10. You or your Unlikely Partner should drive a classic or eccentric car.
11. Although you are naturally silent and gruff, you should confide intimate personal matters to your unlikely Partner within a matter of hours of first meeting.
12. If you are involved in law enforcement, make an enemy of your immediate superior who doesn't approve of your unorthodox methods but be sure to gain some grudging respect by your outstanding arrest record.
13. However, if your superior officer is not an enemy, ask for "Just another 24 hours on this one, its personal!" at least once a year.
14. Never never never be happily married.
15. If you are happily married, your wife is a sweet perfect girl who contracts a fatal - but never disfiguring or contagious - illness.
16. If you are happily married and your wife does not contract a fatal - but never disfiguring or contagious - illness, give subtle hints the marriage is merely a front to cover deep seated unhappiness, kept up for the sake of the children.
17. Despise all officials, lawyers, judges, Internal Affairs officers and Federal Agents. If you are an official, lawyer, judge, Internal Affairs officer or Federal Agent, be resentful that so many people despise you.
18. Be immortal.
19. If you cannot be immortal, be a ghost only your Unlikely Partner can see.
21. Have a pet name for your Unlikely Partner.
22. Secretly adore your Unlikely Partner's pet name for you.
23. It helps if you are lonely, driven, dedicated and handsome. If you can be none of these things, then be a vampire.
24. Have a different girlfriend every week. She'll die, don't worry.
25. Your Unlikely Partner is German (or Italian, or Hispanic, or English, or a vampire, or 5,000 years old, or all of the above) and has remarkably nice eyes.
26. Ensure your Unlikely Partner has sterling qualities that he only displays to you, thus allowing colleagues to wonder what on earth you see in each other.
27. If you are wounded, be reluctant to seek proper medical treatment and insist it is 'nothing, just a scratch'. Be discovered hours later, unconscious and near death and let your Unlikely Partner spend sleepless nights keeping vigil by your bedside.
28. You defend your Unlikely Partner from charges of incompetence or corruption, especially when all the evidence supports the accusations.
29. You are shot and or poisoned by a moody ruthless criminal you previously brought to justice and are saved at the last minute by your Unlikely Partner.
30. You are shot and or poisoned. by your ex-girlfriend (now a moody ruthless criminal) who has re-entered your life to exact revenge and are saved at the last minute by your Unlikely Partner.
31. You are shot and or poisoned by your Unlikely Partner by mistake as he was aiming for your ex- girlfriend (now a moody ruthless criminal).
32. Your Unlikely Partner gets shot and or poisoned by your ex-girlfriend (now a moody ruthless criminal) by mistake as she was aiming for you. Feel guilty.
33. Go on a hunting or fishing trip with your Unlikely Partner in order to relax and get away from it all, then stumble on criminal activities that you prevent utilising a tuning fork, fishing rod and native ingenuity.
34. After a life time of resentment and coldness, you are finally able to confront a tiresome family. member because of your Unlikely Partner's silent but steady support.
35. When your Unlikely Partner has a new girlfriend, you make it your business to find out all about her Mafia crime-boss father, part time job as a stripper and drug dealing arrest record. You do not reveal your findings to your Unlikely Partner.
36. You are offered a dream career opportunity that will mean travelling to the other side of the world and leaving your Unlikely Partner. You turn it down.
37. Your Unlikely Partner is offered a dream career opportunity that will mean travelling to the other side of the world and leaving you. You insist he takes it.
38. You are so disgusted by your Unlikely Partner's eating habits, you have to buy him dinner.
39. Due to circumstances while you are out of town, you are forced to share a motel room with your Unlikely Partner.
40. You realise that, when wearing jeans, your Unlikely Partner has an attractive posterior.