Your First Con: A Most UnConventional Experience
| Meta | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Your First Con: A Most UnConventional Experience |
| Creator: | Adam Bertocci |
| Date(s): | January 8, 2007 |
| Medium: | online |
| Fandom: | media |
| Topic: | |
| External Links: | |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Your First Con: A Most UnConventional Experience is a 2007 essay by Adam Bertocci.
It was posted at Firefox News.
Some Topics Discussed
- science fiction conventions
- various statements that cons are for males, including "Curiously enough, a sci-fi convention is the one place in town where there's rarely a line at the women's restroom."
- cons: "It's like Halloween, a trip to the shopping mall, a fraternity mixer and a movie night with friends all cobbled together like a marginally freakier Frankenstein."
Links
- A Most UnConventional Experience
- Be prepared to wait in lines
- Celebrities are your friends
- Nothing is cheap
- Skip the media room
- Admire the costumes
- Wear a costume yourself, dammit
- Don't buy food at the con if you can avoid it
- Instead, buy something you never knew existed
- Don't get lost
- Don't be that guy
- Inevitably, we are all that guy, from someone else's perspective
From the Essay
The popular image of a science fiction convention is less than flattering. One pictures a massive convention center teeming with life provided solely by people defined as those who have no life. An unending procession of geeks, dorks, nerds, wonks, weenies and other kids who got picked last in gym, ranging in ages from thirteen to forty (and yet all still live with their mothers), dressed in such chick-magnet attire as extra-large "Batman" t-shirts and homemade "Star Trek" outfits. Girls dressed as alien slaves or busty anime chicks are sprinkled in and worshipped, though 90% of them are being paid to be there by whatever the hell they're advertising. B-list celebrities sign your crap for a C-note. Inevitably, a trivia contest ensues, and while one man may win, he is indeed still a loser.
This is an unfair, incomplete and inaccurate portrayal of a sci-fi convention. To be specific, sometimes they take place in hotels.
All jokes aside, you may have had a certain reaction to the above description.
Perhaps you are able to look past the silliness and absurdity, and realize that a sci-fi con is just a great way for regular folks to cut loose and indulge themselves in a fun, harmless hobby and meet friends with similar interests. Or perhaps you say to yourself in a quiet voice, "These are interesting people," and resolve to venture forth like Odysseus (or perhaps Ozymandias) and see what it's like at the sort of event you wouldn't consider your cup of tea, but makes a nice sociological experience. Or perhaps you're just really desperate to meet Mark Hamill.
A sci-fi con is one of the few places where you can talk to big-shot actors, directors and Hollywood executives like they're your friends from down the street. Be sure to go to a panel or a signing and say hi, if only to say you did. This isn't the stodgy or trite atmosphere of a traditional press junket; if you're lucky, a pro will make a joke questioning your own personal sexual orientation in front of four hundred people.
Yes, you too can own an autographed photo of a guy who was on three episodes of "Babylon 5" for a mere $25. Similarly fair prices exist for bootleg DVDs of unsubtitled anime that cost a guy two bucks to burn. Suck it up. The "in for a nickel" rule applies here. Remember, you're not paying for the item; you're paying for the memories.
But while things may not be cheap, they can be free. 'Swag' is a valued commodity; big corporations cheerfully hand out promotional merchandise in order to turn everyone in sight into a walking advertisement.
If there's a costume contest, it's worth being in attendance, because the amount of creativity and work that goes into some of these things is truly amazing, and generally there's some cute girls with nice abs, too.
Incidentally, the sweet young thing in the Princess Leia bikini has heard it all before, and she's probably here with her boyfriend anyway. Just sayin'.
Just like an amusement park or a movie theater, con food can be overpriced. As much as you may want Ferengi Fries, you're paying for the name "Ferengi", buddy, and if you're not in a high-class establishment this event may be catered by the same folk who run that sad-looking cart at the county fair. If you can swing it, head out into the city and grab something at a local restaurant or deli instead. Or pack a sandwich in your stormtrooper belt.
You know. The guy who asks the TV actor how fast the ship could fly, or who asks the comic book inker if he doesn't think that the March 2006 issue severely conflicts with July 1994 issue. Don't be that guy. Just don't.
The point of a sci-fi con is to be among those guys, to say, "Me too," to realize, "These are my guys." Weeping is optional.
It is easy to joke, but the point is that a science fiction convention is a wonderful place to learn new things, meet interesting people and in general get the most out of an exciting and rewarding hobby. It gives fans a chance to share their passions and interests and creativity in a safe social space where they can be applauded rather than ridiculed. In general, it's just a wonderful way to spend a day.
Fan Comments
[R B]: Ah, brings back memories of my first Dragon*con. :)
[Lillian]: What you're talking about are the huge media cons such as DragonCon, ComicCon, etc. SF cons are generally much smaller, more intimate, and have a lot fewer media-related events. Writers are the big draws at those conventions, and they outnumber the big media shows by a considerable margin. Try going to one sometime.