Without You (Sentinel zine)

Zine
Title:	Without You
Publisher:	In Person Press
Editor:
Author(s):	April Valentine
Cover Artist(s):	Killashandra
Illustrator(s):
Date(s):	May 1999
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	The Sentinel
Language:	English
External Links:	part of it was posted here (now offline)
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

cover art by Killashandra

Without You is a 182-page Sentinel novel by April Valentine.

It is set immediately following the events of the episode, "Sentinel, Too, Part 1."

Summary

The doctors say Blair is dead, but Jim can still hear his heart beating. When Naomi arrives in Cascade and wants to see Blair's body, they learn it is missing from the morgue. While Jim searches for his missing guide, Blair struggles to regain his lost memory.

A Sort-Of Related Zine

Second Chance is Sentinel novel by W.D. Hawthorne, one that uses a similar plot-start.

From the publisher: Second Chance

...begins at the same point as "Without You" but follows a different plot. Alex has kidnapped Blair and Jim must find him in Mexico, aided by Simon. Once he finds Blair, the two of them learn more about what it means to be Sentinel and guide and take part in an ancient ritual that will bring them closer than ever before.

From the Editorial

The editorial is an example of the rawness and high emotion that many Sentinel fans felt in real time, regarding the direct aftermath of the second season cliffhanger:

This can't be happening.

That’s what Ellison said as his friend, partner and Guide, Blair Sandburg, lay dying on the grass near the fountain at Ranier University. And that’s also what I said when I watched Sentinel, Too, Part I last May at MediaWestCon. We all know why Jim said it — he didn’t want Blair to die. The reason I said it was because seeing that episode was the final push needed to hurl me headlong into Sentinel fandom and writing the Sentinel universe.

I had resisted the call of the show since I’d heard heard about it. I didn’t need another fandom. I definitely didn’t want to get involved with a still on-the-air show — any week, the new ep could negate everything you’ve written in a universe. Worse, there was the potential trauma of cancellation.

I always said I’d never really recovered from the cancellation of "Alien Nation" after its one wonderful season and that I was not, repeat not getting involved with Sentinel.

Oh, I’d heard all about it. And I watched a few eps from time to time. It was a likeable show, the heroes were wonderful to look at, but I resisted getting hooked. Then a friend submitted a Sentinel story to Indigo Boys that I really liked. The following year, she sent me its sequel, and I liked it even more. I got heroine and really liked it. I remember reading it and my mind starling to hang on to images of Blair and Jim. By the week before Media I was taping the eps (but only at 6 hour speed). I’d heard about UPN not letting the guys hug on camera, about female characters being brought in to keep the show firmly hetero, ratings, possible cancellations, but I continued to just watch the show. I didn’t want to get involved. I didn’t want to get my heart broken.

Then came MediaWest. We drive to the con and leave on Wednesday. My friend and traveling companion, Lori, who was much more into Sentinel than I was talked about the show and the preview scenes we'd seen the week before. Unfortunately, we were on the road at the time Sentinel aired that night. Next morning, Lori bought USA Today and there was the awful news — cancellation. She became distraught. Oh, that’s too bad, I thought. Good thing I wasn’t that attached to them.

We arrived at the con and after unloading the van we walked down the hall in search of fans. The very first thing I saw and that I knew Lori, who was light behind me, was going to see loo was a sign: Oh, my God. They killed Blair. You bastards. She nearly passed out. And strangely, a twinge went through my heart at the same time.

My con roomie had the tape with her when she arrived. She told me two important facts — one, the ep ended with the possibility that Blair wasn’t dead and two, that there was a lot of angst in the ep. We all sat down to watch.

Angst, friends at cross purposes. Misunderstandings. Conflict. Okay, can live with stuff like that. Jim seeing Blair as a wolf, wounded on the jungle floor. Hmmm... Then, disaster. Jim’s rush to find Blair. Seeing him face down in the fountain. (I know, I know we don’t know how in the would he got there but at the time we didn’t know we would never know the answer to that one.) Pulling Blair’s lifeless body out. CPR — actual lip, lip contact! And Jim. Oh my goodness, he was utterly destroyed. Pale, shaken, disbelieving. Refusing to let Blair go. Saying over and over again, "This can’t be happening."

That was it. It was all over. My resistance, that is. I lost the battle. Any program that could show a "death" scene like that has me as an audience for anything else they might think to do.

And I knew I had to write the characters.

Now, I know this isn’t the only story based on Sentinel, Too, Part I. I know that things in here are changed by the eight new eps we got this year. But this is my alternate universe, my version of what should happen next — my version of how Blair came to be in the fountain — and I hope you enjoy reading it.

There was a lot of information going around about what might possibly happen in Part 2 but I hate spoilers. I try as hard as I can to avoid them, although I do have a fascination for tidbits of information. But I certainly didn’t want anything I heard to taint my version of the story. The only thing I used that I got from Petfly was the pools of water in the Temple of the Sentinels. I went to Couver Con, had the set tour and there they were. I used them the way I thought they might be used — no spoilers, you’ll have to read the story to find out.

From the zine, the acknowledgments:

No fanzine is a one-woman operation. I want to thank Killashandra for her beautiful cover and terrific feedback on the story in progress. Thanks also to WindyBU and Lori whose enthusiasm and helpful comments kept me going. Thanks also to Ro and Glo for good feedback early on. Thanks especially to Flamingo for editing me despite this not being her favorite universe.

And most important of all, thanks a zillion to Tiger Tyger. She beta-read, she listened, she helped, she inspired. One of the things I found most fascinating in the Sentinel universe was the relationship between Sentinel and Guide, the way touch and togetherness works between Blair and Jim. It reminds me of the sf Sime-Gen universe. And the way TT writes this aspect of the relationship played a huge role in my love of the characters and in my inspiration for this story. We were both deeply involved with writing more than one story based on Sentinel, Too and the boundaries between each of our own universes seemed to blur a little. Tiger brought out the aspect I love most in the relationship and I found it becoming part of my own "canon" for The Sentinel. Any similarity between her post Sentinel, Too stories and mine is unintentional. A great many other Sentinel writers also focus on the role of touch between Sentinel and Guide and I hereby give a nod in their direction as well.

Now, I'll let you get into the story. As you begin to read, remember one important thing —I believe in happy endings.

Sample Interior

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Reactions and Reviews

This is my favorite Sentinel, Too fix. And one of my favorite 'zines. April creates a beautiful, angsty piece, but with a wonderful balance of comfort. It's a fulfilling novel. She didn't leave anything hanging. I loved her spirit journey imagery. The color cover by Killashandra is very nice, but at first glance probably not something you'd take note of. But by the time I finished reading the 'zine, it had turned into a beautiful masterpiece! It so complimented April's story I couldn't help but look at it again and again.