The Bastard Children of Argo

Filk Songbook
Title:	The Bastard Children of Argo
Publisher:	Random Factors
Editor(s):	John & Mary Creasey
Date(s):	2001
Medium:	print
Subject:	Banned From Argo parodies
External Links:	The Bastard Children of Argo at PDF Slide The Bastard Children of Argo at Fanlore
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The Bastard Children of Argo is a filk zine of parodies, by various authors, of Leslie Fish's song Banned from Argo.

It was edited by John Creasey and Mary Creasey. The art is by Don Simpson and Beckett Gladney.

Unless otherwise noted, the filks below are based on Banned from Argo.

One Introduction

From Mary Creasy, from the zine:

This book would not have been even remotely possible without the encouragement and help of a LOT of people, many of whom have waited patiently since our first announcement of this project in The Filking Times in 1991. We had NO idea, then, that we would get so MANY contributions (over and above the twenty or so Argo filks that had already been printed)! And such variety, too: versions for every edition of TV Star Trek; versions for the original Argo legend; versions for fandom, the SCA, the Navy, bikers, and the Exodus; even several versions about the song itself and Leslie's reaction to it. Styles vary, too; there are Caribbean, talking blues, condensed versions, and punned titles (several versions of "The Band From Argo", two of which we can't include because we can't locate the authors). And not everything is to the tune of "Banned From Argo", either: many of the songs about BFA are to other tunes, mostly Leslie's (naturally!).

Fish's Commentary

Each fanwork has a short comment by Leslie Fish.

Some samples:

• "My sentiments exactly, One should always be patient and tolerant with news (I could tell quite a tale about that) but there are limits:
• "Now we get into las on the bleeping tune as well as the words/ This has got to be a fandom first. 5tilljudging by the first verse, I'm willing to proclaim that Kay Shapero is a telepath."
• "Grrr! Beware, Keith! I now live in the same state as you, and there ain't no gun control laws here!"
• " Yeah/ Yeah! As the author of Shelter, Poses and The Weight, I gleefully confess to whole-hearted participation In fact, I've found that fan-written erotica is far better written than the mundane pro-variety. Hell, I once did write mundane-pro-porn, so I have credentials for judging. In my book, Gayle Feyrer can write rings around D.H. Lawrence at his best. And as for really hot stuff, forget Playboy and hunt up the X-rated Furry Tales. For that matter I'm still waiting for Don Simpson' Centaur Pillow Book to blow (!) everybody out of the water."
• "I'm beginning to think that the filks about Next Gen. are better than the show."
• "This is probably the third or fourth Next Geri version that I've seen, and easily the most printable. Did anybody besides the Great Bird like Wesley?"
• "Hmmm. Fannish comments on fan politics? Heh-heh. This is the fitting tune to put em to!"

Contents

• Introduction: How I Came to Write This Song, Or, What Have You Created, Dr. Frankenstein? Or, AAAARRGH! OH, AAAAARRGH! by Leslie Fish
• Rebuttal to Introduction by John Creasey
• Absolutely the Last Remake of "Fuel to Feed the Drive" - Quentin Long (lyricist)
• Argo: The Return Mark Bernstein (lyricist)
• Argo Calypso: Part One Jeremy Buhler (lyricist), Based on: "Calypso from "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"" by Andrew Lloyd Webber (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Banned from Armor - David Hodge (lyricist)
• Argo to "Sloop John B." - Dr. Pepper (lyricist), Based on: "Sloop John B." (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Argo's Fire-Breathing Daughter - Bob Kanefsky (lyricist)
• Argo Revisited - Larry D. III Kirby (lyricist)
• BFA:TNG - Claire Maier (lyricist), Harold Feld (lyricist), Charles Asbjornsen (lyricist), Leslie Fish's * Melody, Jan Kelson (lyricist), Based on: "Captain Signy Mallory" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Band from Argo - Joe Ellis (lyricist)
• Bored with Argo - David Weingart (lyricist)
• Band from Argo - Rafe Culpin (lyricist), Phil Allcock (lyricist), Diana Bass (lyricist)
• Banned from Acme - Michael Hopcroft (lyricist)
• Ban "Banned" - David Hodge (lyricist)
• Anti-Argo - Beth Moursund (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo, The Next Generation - Keith Wood (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo -- The Next Generation - Bob Daverin (lyricist), Brenda Daverin (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo: Show-Stopper #1 - Joe Ellis (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo: The Next Generation - Jim Fox-Davis (lyricist), Susan Fox-Davis (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo -- Still Filkers of TT-IV (lyricist), Note: Written as a group effort at a Filk Workshop, at Toronto Trek 4
• Griefsleeves - Charlotte (Jerscheid) Marek (lyricist), Based on: "Greensleeves" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• The Banned from Argo's Ghost - Scorpia (lyricist), Based on: "Carmen Miranda's Ghost" by Leslie Fish (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Banned from Argo (Short Version) Kay Shapero (lyricist), J-Mag Guthrie (lyricist)
• Banned from Argyle - Rennie Levine (lyricist)
• Banned from ConChord - Jane Mailander (lyricist), Dean Thomas (lyricist)
• Voyage Beyond All Belief - Steve Macdonald (lyricist)
• Banned from Catalina Isle - J'nae Campbell (lyricist), Chris Hugill (lyricist), Jeanne Whistler, (lyricist), Michael Liebmann (lyricist))
• Banned from Egils - Jim Charementaro (lyricist), Karen Buffum (lyricist), Dawn Dominey (lyricist)
• Banned from Egypt - Avram Grumer (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo (Mirror Universe) - John Creasey (lyricist), Dave Bell (lyricist)
• Banned from Estrella - Joe Bethancourt (lyricist),
• Banned from Filking - H. Paul Shuch (lyricist),
• Banned from Hiltons - Roberta Rogow (lyricist)
• Banned from Pennsic - Bruce Webb (lyricist)
• Banned from Pennsic - Barbara Bowen (lyricist)
• Banned from Russia - Gary McGath (lyricist)
• Sick of Argo Charlotte (Jerscheid) Marek (lyricist)
• Banned from Sturgis - Mark V. Ridenour (lyricist)
• Banned from Seagirt - Linnet Kestrel (lyricist), Klaus von Winterbach (lyricist)
• Banned to Egypt - Gary McGath (lyricist)
• Bound for Pennsic - Justin du Coeur (lyricist)
• The "Bound for Argo" Suite - Paul Willett (lyricist)
• Ghost Filkers - Larry D. III Kirby (lyricist), Based on: "Ghost Riders in the Sky" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• The Chase - Scorpia (lyricist), Based on: "Golden Eyes" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Deep Space Argo - Larry Kirby (lyricist)
• Canned by Argo - Major Matt Mason (lyricist)
• Early One Morning - Carol Kabakjian (lyricist), Based on: "Early One Morning" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Eye of Argon: The Filksong - Lee Gold (lyricist)
• Filk "Banned from Argo" - Harry Smothers (lyricist), Based on: "Waltzing Matilda" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• The Fifth Invasion Song - Carol Phillips (lyricist), Judy Craft (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo Again - W. Scott Snyder (lyricist), Based on: "Lodi" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Filking Argo - Charlotte (Jerscheid) Marek (lyricist)
• Like a Tribble to the Slaughter - Joel Polowin (lyricist)
• Medea's Curse - Maureen O'Brien (lyricist), "Inspired by the Greek legends of the Argonauts, Jason, Medea, and the ship Argo (which was once a constellation)."
• Banned from Argo -- New Verse - Keith Wood (lyricist)
• Move Over, Dr. Frankenstein - Kay Shapero (lyricist), Based on: "Fuel to Feed the Drive" by Cynthia McQuillin (Tune suggested or parodied), Based on: "Baby Vampire Boogie" by Harold Groot (Tune suggested or parodied), Based on: "Captain Jack and the Mermaid" by Meg Davis (Tune suggested or parodied), Based on: "Drink Up the River" by Kathy Mar (Tune suggested or parodied), Based on: "Greensleeves" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• A Planet - John Creasey (lyricist), Based on: "Bingo" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Banned from Filkdom - Harry Brener (lyricist), Mara Brener (lyricist)
• Que Neo, Neo - Larry Kirby (lyricist), Based on: "Que Sera, Sera" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Voyager, Joel Polowin (lyricist)
• Scans to Argo - Mark Osier (lyricist)
• Then We Scanned Key Largo Just for Puns - R.I. Benefiche (lyricist)
• Song of the Fydraca's Crew - Dick Eney (lyricist)
• Talking Banned from Argo - Joe Bethancourt (lyricist)
• Anti-Argo - Kihe Blackeagle (lyricist)
• They're Singing "Banned from Argo" (winner of a 1990 Fan Q Award) - Bob Kanefsky (lyricist), Note: TTTO Leslie Fish's tune for Kipling's "Danny Deevere"
• Tired of Argo - Scott Malcomson (lyricist), M. Mitchell Marmel (lyricist)
• The U.S. and Us - Steven Piziks (lyricist))
• Scans to Argo - Claire Maier (lyricist)
• Ladies' Night on Argo - Mike Richards (lyricist), Roger Burton-West (lyricist), "References drawn from Mike Richards' message on rec.music.filk"
• Why That Song? - Valerie R. Housden (lyricist), Based on: "Blue Flame" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Banned from Filking - Andrew III Nisbet (lyricist)
• Camp Argo - The Worldfilk Affair - Steve Macdonald (lyricist), Brett Glass (lyricist), Diana Huey (lyricist), Paul Kwinn (lyricist), Graham Leathers (lyricist), Debbie Ridpath Ohi (lyricist), Mark Osier (lyricist), Scott Snyder (lyricist), Mary Ellen Wessels (lyricist)
• Argo Every Day - Robert Rosenfeld (lyricist)
• Banned from Argo - V1.0 Beta - Joe Ellis (lyricist), Terence Chua (lyricist), Keith Lim (lyricist)
• Banned from Oxford - Kathie Davis (lyricist), Nicole Wilson (lyricist)
• Writing Porno - Jan Kelson (lyricist)
• Last Word - Leslie Fish (lyricist), John Creasey (lyricist), Based on: "Banana Boat Song" (Tune suggested or parodied)
• Banned from Argo - Leslie Fish (lyricist, composer)
• A Few Notes About "Banned From Argo" Itself - Mary Creasey (author)
• Banned from Argo (original version) - Leslie Fish (lyricist, composer), Music notation included
• Banned from Argo (1987 version) - Leslie Fish (lyricist, composer), Music notation included