Telephone Courtesy OR How to Make Enemies Without Even Trying

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Title:	Telephone Courtesy OR How to Make Enemies Without Even Trying
Creator:	Susan M. Garrett
Date(s):	April 1989
Medium:	print
Fandom:	multifandom, print zines
Topic:
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Telephone Courtesy OR How to Make Enemies Without Even Trying is a 1989 essay by Susan M. Garrett.

It was first printed as a part of The Fantastically Fundamentally Functional Guide to Fandom, an instruction manual meant to explain the basics of fandom and fanworks to new fans and to be a reminder to more seasoned fans.

This essay was also reprinted in Southern Enclave #45 (Summer 1996), which is online here.

The essay is meant to address careless and rude fans who both create and consume fanworks:

With a little bit of common courtesy and common sense, fans could make fandom a really keen place to work and play. Fans created this playground and only fans can be responsible for their actions.

Some Topics Discussed

• telephones and fandom
• "The most important thing to remember is that phoning is a privilege, not a right."
• "Most fannish business is conducted by mail or in person."
• always use the postal service to write a letter first; never call someone without having asked first in writing if it is okay to do so
• some people will say "no" to phone calls, and you must respect that
• "Never ever go to directory assistance for a number, no matter what your question and/or concern unless the person has previously given you their number and permission [to call], and you have mislaid it."
• "A common argument is that people who do not wish to be disturbed usually have their number unlisted but this is no longer the case — many people don't bother having their number protected because such protection is now circumvented by the telephone company selling even unlisted numbers to businesses and what-not. If you use directory assistance, expect the person to hang up on you. I would."
• NEVER call at times that aren't between 10AM and 9PM; in fact, set up a time instead via the mail, or a previous phone call
• remember that some people have extensions in their bedroom, or in a baby's nursery, and you run the risk of hindering domestic duties, such as putting the baby to sleep
• never call collect without prior permission
• "Never break in on someone's call unless the situation is an emergency." And nothing in fandom is an emergency.
• "And always keep in mind that writing is a good deal cheaper than phoning!"
• how to avoid persistent calls from fans you have told not to call you: maybe use an answering machine or report them to the phone company or the police for harassment: "Keep in mind the difference between annoying and psychotic."

From the Essay

When should I use the phone to call an editor, or a writer, or an artist, or anyone?

If you are one of those people who cannot express themselves well in writing or wait for a written response, you may ask someone for permission to phone them. You do this by writing to them and asking them for their permission to call, the correct number or extension if permission is granted, and when they would be free to accept your call. If you are polite and responsible and mention why you feel you need to talk to them over the phone, they may give you permission to use their number.

If the person does not want you to call the number any circumstances be willing to take 'no' for an answer and do not take the rejection personally. Many people cannot accept calls at business locations, others feel that their home number is a private line for friends, families, and emergencies, and others may have relatives at home who would be disturbed by the phone ringing. If the someone says 'no', accept it and do not pursue the matter any further.

What can I do if someone is calling me without permission and consistently hassling me?

There are people who ignore common courtesy and common sense and will abuse the privilege of phoning — calling at all hours, phoning without permission, leaving messages with parents and siblings about drawing pornographic illos , etc. Tell them quite simply and politely that you do not appreciate their rudeness and that you are not available, then hang up. Most people will take the hint.

Some people, however, are so brain damaged that such subtleties will not pierce their thick grey cells. You do have several options, depending on how extreme you feel the situation is.

When should I NOT phone someone?

The list could run for three or four days, but here are some major abuses.

• Do not phone someone when you want to know what issues of a fanzine are available.
• Do not phone someone when you want to know when a zine is going to print.
• Do not phone someone when you want to know why you haven't gotten a contributor’s copy or your order if your friend has gotten theirs.
• Do not phone someone when you want to know if it’s too late to submit something to a zine.
• Do not phone someone when you want to know if someone would like to contribute to a zine.
• Do not phone someone when you want to know if an artist or writer is on deadline, and you haven’t their permission to use their number.
• Do not phone someone when you want to know if an issue of a fanzine contains certain material.

Other Essays in This Series

• The Seven Deadly Sins of Fandom
• S.A.S.E. or You Want an Answer When?
• Telephone Courtesy OR How to Make Enemies Without Even Trying
• A Buyer's Guide to Fanzines OR How to Not Drop $200 in a Hurry
• Ordering Zines by Mail OR Waiting by the Mailbox
• The Letterzine OR The Gift of Gab
• Research, OR Ignorance is Not Bliss
• Pseudonym
• Simultaneous Submissions, Resubmittals, and Reprints, or, Where I Have I Seen This Before?
• The Fanzine Bill of Rights
• L(etter) O(f) C(omment) or How Am I Doin'?