Pig Tails & Other Swill

Zine
Title:	Pig Tails & Other Swill (the cover has Bodie wearing a shirt that says "'88 Pig Tales")
Publisher:	con zine for De-Udder Con using the name "Porcine Press"
Editor(s):
Date(s):	September 1988
Series?:
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Professionals
Language:	English
External Links:
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

front cover by TACS

back cover

Pig Tails & Other Swill is a slash 62-page Professionals zine.

The zine contains 3 black and white pictures of Lewis Collins taken at Scorpio, photos of fans at Scorpio, art by Karen Eaton, Pat Cash, and TACS.

It is a con zine for De-Udder-Con.

Sister Zines

• Rat Tales (1986)
• Cow Tales & Udder Atrocities (November 1986)
• Cocktales (November 1987)
• Pig Tails & Other Swill (September 1988)

Contents

• There Has to be a Morning After, fiction by Meg Lewtan (1)
• Scorpio 6 Photos -- Lewis Collins, by Laura Peck (9)
• How to Write Slash: A Desk Reference for the Millions by Susan Kray & Lois Welling (10)
• Library Classification System, a VERY brief explanation of the Dewey Decimal System and LC cataloging categories, plus some resource books, compiled by B. Dugan ("Library classification systems to find non-fiction books on various subjects useful in writing stories.") (13)
• The H.M.S.C.I.5. (Gilbert and Sullivan operetta) by Araminta Carrington (17)
• Three Pretenders (25)
• After Justice, fiction by Shark (gen) (26)
• Roses, poem by unknown author (33)
• Idle Thoughts, vignette by Anonymous (34)
• Welfare and Whereabouts, Part 2, vignette in memo form by Tolbran (35)
• untitled poem by Aki Watanabi (36)
• How Legends are Born, fiction by DW (37)
• more Scorpio photos (43)
• The Man Who Came to Con by Euphemia (Self-insert, RPF story about named Pros fans cooking and planning for D'Con, when there is a knock on the door... It's Lewis Collins!) ("All right, ladies, finish the story yourself. Just you and Lewis and 34 other women together in a house for the weekend. What happens? The only rule - no character assassination.") (44)
• Flitter Flits, poem by Charley (45)
• Fannish Flo Chart (46)
• Bound for Argo, song by Susan Kray (a riff on Banned from Argo) (Star Trek: TOS) (47)
• Arked, song by Susan Kray (Raiders of the Lost Ark) (48)
• Lightning Magic, song by Susan Kray (unknown fandom, talks about virgins and androids) (49)
• Ship Gas, song by Susan Kray (Star Trek: TOS) (50)
• Peggy Sue is Occupied, song by Susan Kray ("lyrics for the eighties in the tradition of capitalist realism") (bitter social commentary) (51)
• Paws Press, satire (52)
• A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing, fiction by Lezlie Shell (The story also contains a picture by TACS titled "Bodie the Good" of Bodie in suit and polo neck, hands clasped and a halo above him, glowing, whilst Doyle stares at him with a belligerent expression.) (53)
• Captions to photos of fans at cons and other places (61)

Sample Interior

• 

  at Scorpio

• 
• 

  TACS

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

  TACS

• 

  Karen Eaton

• 

  at Scorpio

• 

  Pat Cash

Reactions and Reviews

[How to Write Slash: A Desk Reference for the Millions]: As I understand it, the term "hatstand" entered (Pros) because very early on a non-slash fan was shown some B/D stories, and she exclaimed, They're all bent as bloody hatstands!" The word became a technical term for a short B/D story, so that there is a very funny circuit piece called "How to Write a Classic Bad Hatstander for Bodie and Doyle," and Lois Welling's hysterical "How to Write Slash — A Desk Reference For the Millions" includes in its list of necessary components of a slash story.

a. desire fraught with

b. anxiety (based on misconceptions and lack of faith)

c. attacks of conscience (usually misdirected, see (b) above)

d. soul searching, 10 minutes to 200 years

i. hatstand: 10 minutes

ii. novella: 3 years

iii. trilogy: 2 generations (of someone or something)